get rid off him every child deserves to know there true parents
1 Like
Tough situation, if he was abusive (your ex) I’d say just leave it- but in reality it’s NONE of your boyfriends business. Do what you think is best
What happens if you and the boyfriend don’t work out? Who is going to help you with the baby. In the future, if something ever goes wrong and it goes to court and you knew the baby was his, and you didnt tell him, that does not look favorable, on too of that, the child deserves to know who is real father is
8 Likes
My husband didn’t know he had a daughter till she was 1.5…. And since then has had full custody. And I just adopted her. But he missed out on a lot. It’s not far to the biological dad
3 Likes
Why would you even entertain the matter? His opinion meant nothing when you two were together. And most likely the questions will start coming from him friends or family members since you became intimate with the other guy not to long after leaving your ex… people talk a lot. So if you lie be committed to it and be prepared to stick with it because you may have to repeat it more than a few times. And if a paternity test comes into play you may regret it. Being depressed isn’t a good enough reason to hide a child from a person even if he does or doesn’t want to be involved that’s his choice.
1 Like
I personally would tell the dad because he does have a right to know, if he gets mad over it so be it
I’m sorry 
That’s actually really horrible that the boyfriend would suggest to do that. Do not do that to your child. The dad and child both deserve to have a chance with each other. You can’t control what happens after you tell him but you can can control telling him. That is the right thing to do. I’d break up with the boyfriend. Clearly he isn’t thinking of the child’s best interest, and I couldn’t be with a guy who doesn’t put my/our kids best interest above all.
2 Likes
The truth is the only way to go. Take your time if you must, remembering that your child is the one with no choice here. Your boyfriend will accept this if he loves you both.
1 Like
The biological father has the right to know his child
1 Like
Ur boyfriend wants to be her dad and has a feeling he will be replaced if the ex knows. Just reassure him. Meanwhile u can get child support and keep the bond going with ur child and ex for co parenting purposes. It’s not right to withhold.
4 Likes
The father deserves to know- regardless of how the relationship was between you and him. He has helped create a life and deserves the opportunity to help raise her. If he is an unsafe parent, then you would involve the family courts and then let him know.
Let me just tell my 30 yr old family member just found out the dad who raised him is not his bio father. The whole family is shook!!! The mother knew this whole time and only told him bc it was eating her away and the bio dad just passed 2 months ago. My family member is devastated to say the least and is so angry he will probably never forgive his mom or dad who raised him who also knew and kept it a secret! Please do the right thing and tell him also tell your child!!!
6 Likes
You HAVE to tell the Father!! Period!!
Kayla Hazell Blansit
Your new boyfriend sounds slightly narcissistic,or mentally ill,He sounds like a terrible person!
Is honesty a quality you wish to instill in your child? Hmmm
1 Like
I’d tell the guy the baby was his. Honesty is the next policy.
1 Like
Tell him not only do he have the right to know your baby have the right to know because a secret is not a secret if more then one person know
1 Like
What? I’m shocked reading this. Of course, you have to tell the real dad. Not fair to the real dad or your daughter. There are many reasons but the main two I can think of is medical and honesty.
3 Likes
What happens if later on your child decides to have dna done to see heritage ?
Keep in mind this boyfriend may not stick around forever. What if she grows up thinking he’s dad and if you 2 break up, she finds out. How do you think she would feel to you for denying her her birth dad? Unless he’s abusive I say she has full rights to know her dad. If he refuses to be a dad it’s on him.
7 Likes
It might be hard but he should know. He might not want to be part of her life but at least give him the option. What if something happened to you? Dont lie or keep secrets, they always have a way of coming out and it causes more trouble than intended!! Hope it all works out
4 Likes
I mean do what you want but with 23 and me and ancestry she will one day find out that her dad isn’t her dad and will want to know why he isn’t around and it’s going to be real rough explaining that you kept it from her and her real father so he never had a chance.
1 Like
Thats not his call, or yours. Tell him.
1 Like
What if it were the other way around and someone kept your baby from you ? That’s fucked up you’d even consider it. Also boyfriends are TEMPORARY, even husbands, that “father figure” might not always be there. Then what are you going to do? Try to tell your ex when the baby is all grown up?
Even forgetting the whole moral side of this, it is also important for medical reasons for your child to know who her real father is and his families medical history etc … you chose to make a baby with him be responsible
4 Likes
Depends on if you want to fight for custody or not. Do you want to spend the next 18 years fighting with someone? You can tell your kid when she is 18. Do you think ex is fit to be a dad? Do you think he will fight you every step of the way? Do whatever you want, it’s your kid.
3 Likes
The biological father has a right to know about his child
4 Likes
See that’s only something you can decide. You know what kind of person their biological father is. Would it be a danger to her if he knew is the only question you should be asking yourself
2 Likes
It’s not your ex’s decision to make; it’s great he wants to step up and be there but that is not fair to her for her bio-dad. This could seriously bite you in the long run.
If you are feeling this much guilty, I think you know what you should do before she much older.
Talk to your x and tell him. You always follow your gut
It’s ur decision not his. Ur baby deserves to know who her father is. I’d tell the other guy and let him have the chance to be the father to his child.
Oh, honey. You absolutely have to tell him. Your child needs to know the truth as well. Wishing you well 
4 Likes
Sorry father has. Right to know. If he doesn’t step up then that’s on him
No no no no
If the child is your ex’s you need to tell him.
This is none of your boyfriend’s business.
This is gross to even consider and this is why girls/women get bad names.
Deception is deception.
5 Likes
Yes ur X should know he is the father
So you went through 9mos of pregnancy & however old she is now without telling your ex? Why? Do you feel him knowing will put your child in danger? You said your relationship with him depressed you. Was he emotionally abusive? If so I’d agree with your bf. An abuser doesn’t stop abusing because the romantic relationship ends. He will use your daughter to control & wreak havoc on your life forever.
I was kinda in your situation 20 years ago. He knew I was pregnant but I left him before baby was born. I kept having these urges to introduce my baby to him. My mom convinced me not to. I’m so thankful for her! Wanting to introduce my son to him was just because it’s what we’re taught socially as women. It’s wrong to protect your child from future abuse, his “rights” are more important than yours & your child’s. If he doesn’t want to be in the child’s life we should just accept it etc. We’re accustomed to men having rights we don’t, men controlling our lives. You have to do what is best for your child. It’s not always what society says.
6 Likes
Should have kept your pants on. Wouldn’t be in this situation
That’s effed up. God forbid something happens. And needs dad’s blood. That’s how she’ll find out that dude ain’t her dad…
2 Likes
I would give the child my name with no father on the birth certificate
I am a child who was caught in the crossfire of a situation like this;
I didn’t know my biological father until i turned 18; & THANK GOD.
The man who is on my birth certificate & raised me ; is my sisters father. He knew; but he accepted me as his own & they kept me with my sister.
Despite living a tragic life regardless; i am not mad at my mother for the choice she made.
My biological father was an alcoholic military cop who had children with 3-4 other woman.
He has issues with guns, mental health & alcohol. My life would have been WAY worse on his side.
I was supposed to have another sister under the same biological father(but with nother woman); she was born 2 weeks before me; but ended up dying in her cradle a few months later; my mom didnt wanna just pop up and be like “heres another one!” So she had to make a hard choice to whom would father me.
She said she was sorry; but i totally understand everything & why she did what she did, she was just trying to take the safest path for me
7 Likes
You should’ve already told him… that poor guy. Your boyfriend honestly sounds like a pos for even saying that and since your daughter is already here and who knows how old… that doesn’t make you sound so great either
And everyone asking or saying that the ex might have been abusive, how do yall not see that the current boyfriend is by controlling her to not tell her ex that he has a kid
4 Likes
He deserves to know he has a child and your daughter deserves to know her father and family
2 Likes
Tell him. You have no legal right to hide his child from him.
He should I’ve known from the start … and that’s kind of sad that he missed the birth and the first few hours of bonding time!! Just saying 
Tell him. But only your name should be on that birth certificate.
1 Like
Uh tell the real dad!!
He deserves to know he has a child.
3 Likes
He has the right to know. It’s his choice to be in her life or not. If your boyfriend wants to take on the father role he can be the stepdad and be happy with that
3 Likes
I honestly see where you’re coming from. If the person was hurtful to you, it wouldn’t be a surprise that he would be that way to the kid he didn’t know he had. I would wait on telling him and send a letter with the option to sign his rights away. If he wasn’t that bad, just an ex then maybe it’s good to keep in contact. He could be a good dad. I think your boyfriend needs to respect what you chose to do.
You need to tell that man! Your bf can still be a father figure to your little girl! That man AND the child deserve to know. If the biological dad doesn’t want anything to do with the child, that’s a different story. But you’re not even giving him a chance to be a dad and you risk your daughter resenting you when she’s older.
1 Like
Why would u do that. Please tell him that he has a baby. That’s so wrong. Lord please bless this situation Amen
So, you’d let your child grow up believing this man is her father when he’s actually not? Do you understand the depth of cruelty that is? Especially if your ex is a decent guy.
Like… yall aren’t even married. He’s your boyfriend. My dad was a huge POS, but I didn’t grow up in a lie. I knew who he was and yes, it hurt, but my brother didn’t know our father and he didn’t take it well. He found out at 17 and doesn’t talk to his mom anymore.
I’m gonna pray for you! In your heart you know what should be done and I’m gonna encourage you to pray about it yourself. But know a child can NEVER have enough love in their life 
3 Likes
Girl WHAT?! You better tell that man he has a baby!!
1 Like
Ummmm how old is she? You should have told him when you found out you were pregnant
Whoever you are I hope you gracefully right this wrong and if your current boyfriend is making you do things you don’t want to do…make your daughter #1 priority, inform the biological father and maybe keep to yourself until you can make your next step in life with confidence and that it won’t negatively affect you or your baby.
1 Like
NOT OK. The man has a right to know he has a baby. Should have been told immediately, when you found out about being pregnant.
2 Likes
Tell him that it isn’t his decision to make. Its between you and your ex. He deserves to know that he has a kid. If you don’t want him around you can file for full custody with supervised visitation and you don’t have to make him pay child support if you don’t want to.
Its about her. Not him. Do not take her father away.
2 Likes
I believe every child deserves to know who their parent is not only because it’s not right to keep it from them but also in case you have emergencies and you need family information you might end up regretting it if something was to happen I’m sort of sad on this subject because my daughter had a miscarriage when she was about 17 and then she had a daughter that’s 10 now she had another daughter that only weighed 2 lb when she was born she is now 9 and a son he was born at 2 lb he is now 8 and her last daughter turned 7 just a day or two ago the little boy and the little girl that was premature the little boys was my daughter’s husband’s child the little girl wasn’t she was someone else’s but her husband at the times mother got all involved in this and ended up getting custody through CPS of the little girl and the little boy they changed their names this woman did this because she never had a girl so now she has a girl and her son the Daddy’s brother has the little boy if something was to happen to either of them they would not know any history of our family my oldest granddaughter she lives with her Nanny and Papa since she was one she knows who her mama is and they know how to contact us if something happened the woman who took the two kids the little girl knows that my daughter is her mama the little boy was a little too young to remember that she was his mama so I mean it just comes down to the real deal is it could be deadly by not knowing the real father or mother in any case because I think you should tell him now if he is a bad person I would think about not telling him you need to do what’s right for the baby do you know the man you know if he’s bad or not if your new boyfriend will take care of him or her better than it might be okay to not tell nobody it will hurt very much when you go to bed every night pray about it and you’ll get your answer
This shouldn’t even be a question
Tell the real farther your child deserves the chance to get to know who created her your boyfriends thought/feelings shouldn’t even come into it he is not her dad
Don’t be the mum that lies to there child because you will regret it if she finds out
You need to tell the bio dad… This is so unfair to him. That’s his child. How would you feel if the roles were reversed?
Screw him but your daughter has a right to know. These things come out in the end
It’s wrong in so many ways the child is going to know eventually you will loose her for lying. No matter what the bio father needs to know also are you going to last with the new boyfriend what’s going to happen if you break up. Please do yhe right thing and tell the bio father.
My bio dad doesn’t know about me and I don’t know who he is I have an idea but no way to contact him . and his family won’t help me either it sucks . tell your ex
1 Like
That’s really messed up if you don’t tell him.
1 Like
He deserves to know unless the relationship ended because of abuse.
Well I had this happen, only I told the father to be and he didn’t want anything to do with his son till he was older. Now my daughter, she came into the world and he knew she was here. He only ever mafe one visits never made any attemps to pursue his father role. Now she is 6 years old. She is quite happy. She will know when it is the right time but for now why upset her if she is doing well. It isn’t a easy situation your in but I’d let him know that she is here and let him make the effort. You’ll regret it if he decides to be nasty.
It’s never right to keep a baby from her father. Don’t think about him and what he wants instead think about your baby and how she will feel when she finds out
1 Like
You have to tell him. Let him decide.
Be honest. Your daughter will hate you if you don’t tell the truth and she finds out when she gets older
1 Like
I can respect him for wanting to raise a child that isn’t his, but no. The father has the right to know. I would never want to hide something like that from my kids.
1 Like
Hmmm I’d take a look at this new dudes character who is he to even want you to do something so childish… that man deserves to know the truth …
1 Like
By all means he needs to know . Plus he needs to pay child support.
Woah…that child deserves to know who her real father is and he deserves to know he has a child. That baby girl will resent you one day if you don’t. Your boyfriend shouldn’t have a say in this I’m sorry. Other things yes but not this.
1 Like
So… What happens if you and your current bf break up??? She won’t have a dad anymore… And then you’ll decide to tell your ex?
You NEED to tell him now.
Not a fun situation… but trust me as soon as you tell him all your anxiety will disappear…
Maybe he’ll want to sign his rights over?? Maybe not. But PUT YOUR BIG GIRL PANTIES ON… AND TELL HIM
3 Likes
You need to tell him. And give him the opportunity to be a father. That is not your boyfriend’s child.
So when it don’t work out with new bf and he walk away clean slate ur gonna spring baby girl on ex and her who knows how old she’ll be then messed up situation ask ur self if u were your daughter what would you want your mom to do how would you feel being lied to about who ur dad is and then never knowing if he would have been there or not people are so selfish
Tell him . You can also have a child with your bf someday .
Depends on the situation if he is good person and will make a good dad tell him if he won’t be don’t tell that’s totally your decision but remember to always protect the child
2 Likes
He might have not been the best boyfriend maybe but he deserves to know that his child is gonna be born soon and he might wanna be involved in your baby’s life and who knows might be a good father even? 🤷
He deserves to know and to be a dad. This is not a game.
1 Like
-
The new guy hasn’t been around long. Don’t be so sure he’s a sure thing yet.
-
What if the baby grows to look just like her dad? How do you explain that!
-
He has a right to know. You could always ask him to give up all rights to her.
3 Likes
Unless he’s unsafe you need to tell him
4 Likes
Happened to my husband. It has extremely hurt him emotionally and mentally as a man. Tell the rightful father he deserves it so does your daughter.
2 Likes
It causes resentment in the end. I know a boy who was 22 when he found out he had a different father and a brother and sister he missed out on. The truth will always come out in the end
The truth always comes out…. Put yourself in his shoes would you want to know you had a kid??? Tell him don’t be selfish
1 Like
Regardless if he’s your ex he deserves to know and see her😏
1 Like
The child’s father must know. There’s a lot of legal issues, Soc Sec and other benefits in addition to child support.
Wtf Any man deserves to know they have a child so they have a chance to be a good father that choice shouldn’t be yours
1 Like
You best look into this as soon as possible for the child’s sake and future. A paper trail must be started immediately.
Take a step back……
If the roles were reversed….
Would you want to know you have a daughter?
You know the answer is yes.
And you daughter and her dad can never get the lost time back.
Correct this now.
2 Likes
This shouldnt even be a question. Anybody with respect and morals would know that not only the baby should know their real father but the father should have the right to know their child. People need to grow up and stop being such negative nancys
1 Like
I think unless your current boyfriend is going to marry you and commit to you for the rest of your life and give the security that he’s 100% going to be your child’s father I wouldn’t guarantee anything to anyone yet.
2 Likes
Tell the biological dad. This new guy can take off at any time or hold it over your head. Don’t do it.
4 Likes
Sounds like theres more to the story. 
1 Like
The father deserves to know, for a host of reasons. He’s the legal father, for medical reasons, should they arise, for financial reasons, for moral reasons. It’s the right thing to do.
3 Likes
Why would you lie about something like this? Your ex deserves to know, and so will your daughter . Your current boyfriend needs to remove his ego
4 Likes
The father has the right to know and the child should know his/her real father.
1 Like