My boyfriend doesn't want my son to color his hair: Advice?

Post anonymous, please Me and my boyfriend seems to be having an issue when it comes to my son. We don’t agree. My son is seven from a previous relationship and has expressed an interest in coloring his hair, and my boyfriend thinks it’s weird. I got defensive and told him that it wasn’t weird, but he doesn’t believe little boys should do that. Am I being crazy for being defensive?

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I let my kids son included express himself with coloring his hair. It is their choice how they want to look. Not your boyfriend.

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Your boyfriend? Is he the daddy? If not, then fuck what he thinks that’s not his kid. :joy:

No he’s being unreasonable. Boys are allowed to experiment with their hair just as much as girls. My 7 year old boy wanted blue hair last year so i went to the store and got him wash out blue hair dye :woman_shrugging:t2:

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No your not. We have a policy of letting our kids choose their hairstyles/colors/cuts.

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Not weird at all let him dye his hair :roll_eyes:

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Who cares if he colors his hair… If its that big of an issue just do semi permanent and it will wash out in a couple weeks.

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He’s being absurd. Let your kid express himself.

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Yeah I think its weird he thinks it’s weird :thinking:

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Wow… let your kid do what he wants. Who cares if he dyes his hair? It’s just hair, it’ll grow out again.

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You’re not crazy for being defensive. Do you color your hair? Has he seen you do it? My oldest son wanted me to paint his nails when he was 5 because he seen mommy doing it. Try talking to your boyfriend and have him explain to you why he thinks it’s so weird. There is hair dye that washes out after a certain amount of washes…maybe try bringing that up to him…

Its not weird. This is the best time when done right. I think he’s weird for making it sexist. Its your child regardless of relationship status and I think your bf needs to get a grip. He knows where the door is. Hope he doesn’t get hit on the way out lol.

He’s not your sons father and has no business or right to tell you or your son that he can’t color his hair. He’s just a boyfriend. He can be an Ex just as easily for trying to bully a child about hair color

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Let him express himself, your boyfriend has no say

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I feel like those temporary colors that wash out after a couple weeks are pretty harmless. Besides, it’s your kid, not his.

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He needs to get over it. He’s your son dont let ppl make your Choice

“You aint my daddy”.

Sounds like he just wants to be in control of something.

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He’s not the father of your son. If your son wants to dye his hair, by all means let him do it. Your the mother

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Well you already answered it, he’s your son.

Nope your not. Kids have all kinds of colorefd hair! Let him. This is the time to experiment and express yourself.

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It’s just hair! Let him do it if he wants, the boyfriend has no say.

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I do not see a big deal if he colors his hair as long it will wash out eventually. Kids go through a lot of different phases. My boys always had long hair.As long as they kept their hair clean this never bothered me. They grew out of that stage like all the other fads that we all go through.

Do why makes your son happy :grin: your kids happiness is the main thing in life ( take it for a mum of a austic child) what Makes you child Happy is the main thing

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No it’s not strange or any of the boyfriends business if the child isn’t his

I mean it depends on his reasoning, as a hairstylist I hate seeing people color their children’s hair. Their hair and follicles are still maturing and it’s not good to use those chemicals on maturing hair… if you do decide to do it try to use semi permanent if his hair is light enough to pick it up

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He is just 7 years old…tomorrow young to color hair…AND. YOUR BOYFRIEND, IS ANOTHER MAN IN YOUR LIFE.HE IS NOT HIS FATHER, HE HAS A FATHER WHO SHOULD BE LOOKING OUT AFTER THE 7 YEARS OLD. BUT, IF HE IS NOT MAN ENOUGH TO DO THAT, THEN YOU NEED TO BE, MOM AND FATHER FOR THAT CHILD, WHEN YOU MARRY A MAN WHO CARES FOR YOUR SON AND ADOPTS HIM, THEN, HE CAN TELL YOUR SON WHATEVER HE WANTS HIM TO DO OR NOT…SEEK PROFESSIONAL HELP…

Depends on the kids age if id let them do it. The boyfriend doesn’t get a say.

Girl, that’s your son! If your ok with it, do it! My son is 8 & asked if he could get a mohawk & color it. So I took him to get a mohawk & bought the color spray for him. I colored it for him. His hair looked awesome!

It’s your son and as his mother you decide what’s best for him. Is he mad because the color he chose or the chemicals? There are safe semipermanent hair dyes if that’s the case.

Not weird at all and agree with previous posts to use the temporary ones especially due to his age.

7 is pretty young to permanently dye hair.

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It’s hair!!! tell your boyfriend to get over it. Plus your son has a right to express himself.

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Some people are old school and don’t think those things are appropriate. Maybe he thinks the boy will get bullied. However it’s up to you and your child, I use to put blue in my son’s hair all the time. It was like a styling gel and this was years ago

Let kids be kids all I say if it comes of yeah fine if you wanna do it if it really makes you happy let him he needs to experience things in life he’s growing into this world that is amazing I’m some parts and some parts obviously serious but let the kid have some fun :heart:

Depends… does he believe that specifically little boys shouldn’t color their hair or little kids in general ?

If it’s just boys… he can fuck off some where else with his toxic masculinity and internalized homophobia.

If it’s all little kids… why ? Cause of the damage ? That I can understand and can be problem solved. Or just not liking colored hair ? To that I respond with… good thing it’s not yours :woman_shrugging:t2:

My son has had all sorts of colours through his hair green , blue red and others a don’t see a problem with it , most kids now a days do it maybe start off with something that washes out after a few washes just in case he decides he doesn’t like it , as for the boyfriend a would be telling him to keep his opinions i himself

Has he not ever been outside? Okay maybe it’s more older kids coloring their hair but you still see boys coloring their hair. You even still see a few younger boys with some green hair or some crazy color. So Idk what planet he lives on to think boys don’t do that. Is this a serious relationship or something that just started a month ago? If it’s serious and he basically taken on the father role and helping to provide regularly then try to talk it out and come to a common ground. I know people say “he’s not the daddy do what you want.” But if he’s trying to step up to the role as daddy then he should be able to make some decisions too not just play daddy when it benefits you and your son.

If he plays an active role in raising the child, please don’t pull the “he’s MY kid” thing. You didn’t indicate if he does or not, but the other comments said it and I simply don’t agree with that. Boys dying their hair is not weird at all. Personally, I didn’t allow my oldest to dye her hair until she was 9 but that’s because her hair is so dark, it needed bleach. My youngest has gotten to dye hers sooner because she has light hair and didn’t need bleach. With that being said, does he have a good reason (other than it’s weird? Because THAT is NOT a good reason)?

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Use artic fox it is a hair stain not a dye so it is not harsh on ur scalp. It last for about a month so if he doesnt like the color no big deal

You’re his mom. If you say he can then let him! I don’t agree with bleaching it but coloring it is ok!!

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It’s your son’s hair, let him express himself. It’s not hurting anybody. Also he’s not your boyfriend’s child so he gets zero say :woman_shrugging:t2:

It’s hair? Summer time is coming up. My 9 year old want another green Mohawk and my 7 year old wants pink hair.

Guess who’s getting crazy hair.

It’s not a permanent think like a piercing. It’s hair and that’s fun for a young kid

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I would let your son express himself. Color comes out or you can cut his hair. You have other issues that are more important to deal with than your child wanting to color their hair. Your BF can get over it

Personally my 7 yr old wouldn’t be allowed to color their hair. What’s next tattoos? Piercings? Yes I’m old school decisions such as those can wait…

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My kids both have colored hair. My sons is pink, he’s 8. My daughter is Harley Quinn magenta and teal, she’s 6. We’ve done it for 3 years. It’s just hair, we love it!

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I would say it would depend the age of the boy and if it was permanent or semi-permanent. My daughter is 7 now but when she was 5 and 6 I coloured her hair pink (as I had my hair pink and she wanted to be like mommy) it was the kind that washed out after so many washes. I also didn’t do it often maybe twice. Permanently dying his hair at a young age could cause hair damage.

My son wanted magenta hair and we did it he loves it!

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I think it’s crazy his hair is this much of a issue… my son begged for blue hair, he got it… now we laugh about the pictures… no stressing it… it’s a phase, let him have his phase :woman_shrugging:

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My daughter is six. She had wanted blue in her hair forever. When she expressed it to me, my husband didn’t like it either. Maybe this is a little bit of a ‘hippy’ standpoint, but if my daughter wants to express herself in a way that isn’t harmful to herself or others, why shouldn’t she be able to? We researched dyes, picked a colour, and now she has blue hair. She is happy with her choice about her appearance, and to me, that’s is the bottom line.

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My step son colors his hair but it’s the color that comes out in a few washes. And we do it on the weekends or during breaks from school

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It’s just hair. It can be cut and it can grow out. Plus you are his parent.

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Don’t see anything wrong with it. Your boy friend is allowed his opinion, but if you decide to color your son’s hair ask him to refrain from saying anything like it’s weird in front of your son. You can discuss it and let him know you got defensive because you never want the important adults in his life to make him feel unaccepted, unloved or some how not good enough because of the color of his hair. I am pretty sure that’s why you got defensive, because I would have to.

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My 6 year old asked if he could dye his Mohawk red, i looked at my husband(his father) he said do it. We got on Amazon and I ordered a simi permanent color it washws out within time i didn’t want Anthony to harmful on his head. He loves it even though it has faded and is now a pink color he is so happy.
If he went tho dye his hair let him go for. Thought boyfriend isn’t his father and has no real say in the matter he can voice an opinion but thats it.

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They have hair gel that will turn your hair different colors and then when you wash it out the color comes off too. Maybe try that see if your son really wants it and Maybe your boyfriend will come around to the idea. However he is your child so 🤷🏻

Well he’s YOUR son so 🤷…

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Depends on the extent. Also if schools allow it as well. Personally I dont care, but it would not be permanent.

it seems off to me that a 7 yr old would give a shit about the colour of his hair, i,d be working on his self esteam,seems there may be a lack of it

I wish my mom never let me dye my hair when I was younger because now my hair is so damaged from hair dye

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Boyfriend doesn’t have a say in this

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my brother died his hair multiple times growing up, and eventually just grew out of it. he has had every color in the rainbow lol

It’s just hair. Tell your boyfriend to get over it.

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He wouldn’t like me lol :joy: my boys use the spray dye lol…

He’s a kid and coloring his hair is not weird. It’s fun. BF needs to lighten up.

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I don’t see anything wrong with it. You could even get temporary dye, too, if your husband really has that stick that far up his ass. :woman_shrugging:

How long have you been with him? Once I was with my man he became our son! He provides for my kids so yes he has a say I believe you are in it together and should have a say in things together

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Perhaps try a temporary color, that way if he doesn’t like it can wash it out, he’s trying to find his own identity as a person, let him explore, as long as it isn’t affecting his health or hurting anyone

Nope! We both let my 5 year old son color his hair orange! Of course we used vegan dye and made sure his hair didn’t need to be bleached.
He is YOUR child and he wants to express himself. It’s not up to your boyfriend. Let that baby color his hair momma!

Your boyfriend doesn’t have any say in it if hes not his father

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I wouldn’t let my 7 year old color their hair. So natural and pretty. But he’s also the bf. If the dad and you say yes then that’s what goes unless married

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Well its not his kid I mean why would he have a say🤷‍♀️

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Well first of all it isn’t your boyfriends son it’s yours so you can do whatever you want or make that decision on your own your boyfriend doesn’t have a say in what your sons does to his hair.

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If your boyfriend is gonna act like your son is weird for wanting to color his hair and have a problem with it when it’s not his kid maybe it’s time to find a new boyfriend

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Hes your boyfriend not the father. He has absolutely no say. And, he has no right to make your child feel belittled or bad for wanting to express himself. You need to have a heart to heart with the boyfriend. Either he respects your son or he can take a hike.Your child and his feelings is what’s most important. Your bf opinion shouldn’t matter and he needs to be respectful. Its just hair color. You have every right to be defensive. Keep defending your son momma.

He’s 7 too young to be dying hair

Good thing he is not his dad

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No, not at all! Just because he isn’t comfortable as a male doing that doesn’t mean he should push his insecurities onto anyone else, especially a child. He gave his thought on it tell him thanks but no thanks. Your the momma you got this.

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Not his kid. :woman_shrugging:t3:
Also its just hair. Not like hes 7 and asking for a tattoo or a nose piercing lol

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It is weird. He is so little, why would a 7 year old want to color his hair? Wayy too young

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mother’s should not let boyfriends make decisions for their children. this is between you and your son, hair grows out. it’s an expression of art.

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First, he’s your child. Your boyfriend has literally no say in what he thinks is “weird” when it comes to your son. If someone told me my son was weird for wanting to express himself, that would be the end of it. Second, It’s only hair, color it! Let that boy pick any color he wants and go for it! The first time my son wanted his hair colored was when he was 4 and he loved it! You got this :slight_smile:

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Does he not get it not his kid not his choice

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My son has had his hair every freaking color. He is 14 now and is over all of that.

It is not weird! And I warn my kids about judgmental people like him!! People That believe others have to live the way they do.
Its just hair and should be their own decision on what they do to it. esspecially a child that is not even his. Together or not the end decision is the moms.

They sell good colors that are vegan and won’t damage their hair on Amazon

Not his child, not his choice. What other things does he control? Your child coloring his hair is trivial. If he’s picking on this hes likely controlling other aspects too.

Honestly, that would be a red flag in my book. :joy: call me petty if you want, but I don’t feel like you can build a solid relationship or family if your core beliefs don’t align. It is absolutely not weird for boys to color their hair. Last I checked there is no gender restrictions on the hair dye box. Support that baby boy above all else.:heart:

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With a few details missing… I think ultimately the choice is yours. Unless he raised your son as his own for many years I don’t think he has any right to argue.
Don’t use a permanent hair colour. There’s tons of wash out brands so he could change and play w colour as much as he likes.

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I wouldn’t allow permanent hair dye on a child so young but if he wants to color his hair, let him. They make colored hair gel that washes out right away. You could also use kool-aid, it last for a couple weeks at most bit won’t destroy their hair. Your bf doesn’t have a say and hopefully didn’t make his comment about it being weird in front of your son. If your and bio dad are ok with letting him experiment with hair color by all means let your son color his hair.

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Not at 7. Can he pay to get it. No you can’t dye your hair

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Not his kid, not his business. Your decision.

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What about the wash out kind :woman_shrugging:t2: best of both worlds and you should consider your boyfriend’s feelings too like he did take on a lot becoming a step parent step parenting is way more difficult than being a regular parent to a child

My 4 year old at the time had vegan Dyed pink hair :woman_shrugging:

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Did your parents let you start ruining your hair at 7 no matter if its box die( that’s the worst) or professional it damaged your hair

If the boyfriend raised your son I think it’s wrong everyone saying not his son not his choice I think it’s wrong if that’s how you wanna do things especially with something this small imagine for bigger situations does he still not have a say if you guys all live together does he not get a say in the house hold I think it should definitely be agreed on together not his opinion be degraded cause he’s not the father could cause problems for the relationship if you don’t listen to his opinions on things

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Well, 1) not his kid 2) who cares if he dyes his hair? I’d be defensive too.

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Hell no. Do what you and your child want to. Talk to the father but you have final say .

It’s just hair! Especially for a boy you can just shave it! I say go for it with a demi permanent color :sparkling_heart:

My son colours his hair all the time. Green, blue, purple :woman_shrugging: nothing weird about it. I figure let them do it young maybe as teenagers they will have it out of their system lol.

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My husband wasnt fond that I allowed our 8 yr old to dye the front of his hair blue, lol. After it was done he was fine and said we should have done the whole top. Lol. It’s just hair and I dont see a issue with it. He wants it dyed let him! It will grow out.

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In my opinion the bf has no say he is your child not his. And as for dying his hair I agree with some others I wouldn’t use permanent dye I’d look into kid safe temporary dye

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