My boyfriend doesn't want my son to color his hair: Advice?

It’s really none of your BF business. It’s your son. If your BF starts this now it will only get worst

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If your boyfriend is helping in the everyday raising of your child then yes he can voice his concerns, 7 is a tad young to be dyeing hair

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Your son not his.

Don’t let him force his idea of masculinity on your son.

My sons blonde. I’ve let him dye his hair a few times, semi permanent. He’s not even 7.

Just get a vegan plant based dye. Some of the people clearly don’t dye hair and understand that there are safe dyes.

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Me personally would never allow my son to change his hair colour , he is 7 with nice blonde hair.
But I don’t wish to parent others kids, so it’s your choice.

If the boyfriend is helping raise him, then yes he does have a say.

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My son went through that phase… I got some splat hair color… (30 day wash out) and I did it myself. It turned out great he was happy and knew that it wasn’t permanent. By the time it washed out he was over blue hair! Lol

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It’s hair. Cut it off it grows back the same and better.

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I do my girls hair every couple weeks. They are now 9 and 11. I use ION permanent color for dark hair on them. No damage to their hair!

A) boys do this quite a bit. It seems to be some what of a trend.
B ) …and quite possibly more importantly…you said this is your BOYFRIEND, correct. This is YOUR son, not YOURS AND HIS. Boyfriend should have no say, I’m sorry. No disrespect intended towards your bf or you but in this particular situation, it just is what it is hunny. He shouldn’t have a say in what YOU allow YOUR SON to do with his HAIR. It’s hair. It’s a trend. I’m sure a lot of his friends are doing it and he wants to “fit in”. Does he need to fit in for every situation? NO!! But you learn to pick your battles and girl believe me, hair soooo does not need to be one of those battles!! Good luck!!

Been dying my 5yr olds since he was 1.5 :woman_shrugging:t2: His sister got funky colours so he wanted to too (manic panic)

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As long as school allows it, I don’t see why it would be an issue, maybe just use the chalk to start with?

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We let our youngest color his hair. It was during the summer and it was not permanent.

My son asked to dye his hair in SK. We ended up dying it every yr after that for his birthday for 10 yrs. He is now 18 and dyes it himself now
It’s hair it grows out

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My son was 10 my hubby had no problem he went blue. We did it during the summer. He didn’t once hasn’t ask again.

Masculinity is different these days. My bf has all rights to express his feelings about my kids, anyone saying his opinion doesn’t matter doesn’t understand the situation, at least how I do. My bf raises my kids and their dad doesn’t at alllll. So yea he has a say. I think the age is the issue for me or my bf would say but these days 12 year olds get their hair permed and all. I mean its just what kids do these days and the more we hold them back the more they will rebel later, if coloring his hair helps him form his own identity then I would be all for if

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My 7 year old nephew has been getting his hair dyed different colors since he was 4. To each in their own. Your son. Not his. I see no problem getting hair chalk to start out or washable hair spray

Hair dresser view point! Changes to hair color are temporary, it always grows out, and it can always be changed again. I have moms that allow their sons to change their hair color for a magnitude of different reasons but my favorite is “his body, his choice”

He is 100% right. Even that he is not his father but wow seven years old ?and he is making decisions? wrong.

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Just get a temp coloring, such a young age to dye hair.
But if yoy given him the role of being a parent with a say, then that’s his opinion.
I wasn’t allowed to dye until 16. Maybe older

I wouldn’t not let my kid do something just because someone thought it was “weird”. Regardless of who it is that’s a ridiculous reason not to do something :woman_shrugging:t2:. 7 does seem a little young to me but only because of the damage hair dye can do. If my kid really wanted it though I’d look for a healthier option where you don’t have to lighten it first. I’ve used manic panic before and the color was pretty nice. No bleach either.

Not his kid so not his concern. It’s just hair.

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You are not crazy ! I had 4 boys and one of them colored his hair many different colors , it means nothing weird, actually I think a child who does things like that has true confidence !let him do what he wants with his hair and tell the boyfriend to zip it or else !!

Well he is only 7. You are the parent. Just because he wants to color it doesn’t mean you have to go with it if it’s going to cause problems with your relationship with your boyfriend. Is this difference of opinion worth causing contention? 7 year olds will get over it. A partner will not. Pick your battles.

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Boys dying their hair is trendy at the moment I have 5 sons 4 are able to dye their hair and they do all the time crazy and natural colours. Another thing why are you allowing your boyfriend to have any say in what you allow your son to do, he’s not your sons father and definitely shouldn’t be putting his toxic masculinity onto your son. Allowing your son some freedom to express himself through his looks and his clothing is good for children it gives them a big confidence boost one of my sons likes to wear eye liner too and I let him because it’s his body and his choice eye liner, hair dye and clothing none of it is permanent but it can all raise a kids self esteem if that’s what they want to wear

Definitely not crazy it’s just hair go for it, my daughter has had her hair coloured a few times since she turned 2

You said it. He’s your son. Your bf is just there to teach him good and bad. But you make the decision. Don’t let him chose for you. I’m pretty sure that your son father would allow it. If he wants to dye his hair. Let him. It will grow back. And dye will fade after every shower.

im old school and i think if they do it to often it ruins their hair but who am i to say i def wouldnt let my kids do it

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Who is he to dictate what your child does?
If you even entertain the idea that he gets a say, you’re just as bad.

Tell your BF to pick his battles. By turning your son’s hair blue now he will get the novelty out of the way and it will take the mystery out of it. That way, when he’s older he won’t be as apt to want to do it. Maybe the spray-on kind that washes out to start with.

Point out guys who have dyed hair on the street, in the store, on TV. Show him it’s not that uncommon anymore, and few people will judge him for it. If you don’t make a big deal out of it, your son can get it out of his system and move on.

If not, and he sees himself with blue hair forever (doubtful), just make sure he conditions and takes care of it.

Ask your BF what he wanted to do when he was younger that his parents forbade him to do (0piercings? Tattoos? Motorcycle? Be in a rock band? But a fast/hot looking car? How does he feel about it now? Does he think tattoos are low-class, slutty, or only for sailors like older generations might have? Look how thinking on that has changed. Tell him to get with the times!

I bleached my boys hair, it’s his choice, bf can go take a big :poop:

It seems I have a different opinion than a lot of people. You know the teenagers that tell their stepdad “You aren’t my real dad!” when they disagree or do something wrong…some of these comments reminded me of that. You may not be married but when you bring a man into your child’s life and he assumes the role of a father figure and actually cares about what is in the best interest of the child you should at least listen to what they have to say. You can disagree and ultimately do what you want but you should at least communicate your side and allow him to as well.

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I think you guys are crazy to dye your small kids hair for me nothings going on my children hair until at least 13 if they are luck each to there own

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All the folks who say the bf shouldn’t have a say… we dont know how long this man has been in this boys life, he maybe a father to this boy…DNA doesn’t dictate parenthood

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IMO too young to be doing that

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Kids at that age do not need to dye their hair

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Sorry but I wouldn’t let my child color their hair at that age either. :woman_shrugging:

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Get spray on hair color that way it’s not permanent and he will get his excitement out of it. :woman_shrugging:t2: Alot of kids want cool colors, And I’ve seen alot of little boys shave their head and color their mohawks purple, blue and green all different colors. So it’s definitely not weird.

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Get the colored hair wax!! It’s fun and washes right out. I just put blue in my 3 olds sons hair the other day and he loved it!

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Little boys can do whatever they feel like, I wouldn’t use like actual dye but you can use coolaid and even beet root juice depending on the color he wants for temporary dye. Hair color is a form of expression youre not crazy for being defensive

Not weird at all. Idk why he’s so sensitive about it. Use a temporary color and let him use permanent hair color when he’s older

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Probably need to find a new boyfriend.

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Let him have fun as a kid

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Um it’s your son, he doesn’t have a say regardless. If it’s something that’ll make your son happy I say do ut.

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I think its weird that your boyfriend thinks it’s weird for boys to dye their hair

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It’s not weird. Let him do it now while he’s a child and let him have fun because when he gets a job, he more than likely won’t be able to do it

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Let him have fun. Use Kool aid. It washes out.

Dye the kids hair however he damn pleases :joy: little boys can dye hair just like girls can :roll_eyes: big red flag from your boyfriend by the way

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My son is wanting to dye his hair blue. Since it is almost summer we will be doing it after school pictures.

Not weird. And your boyfriend has some stupid logic. Colour his hair. Forget the boyfriend.

He’s your kid what do you think?

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Be up to his dad, boyfriend is boyfriend not dad

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Your son deserves to be a child and have a say in his body and how he would like to look. Boyfriends got to go. Sorry

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Not his child, so not his place to say. Periodt.

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Tell the boyfriend to stay in his lane…

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My son dyes his hair, it’s just hair. Tell him to lighten up.

I think it’s weird that your boyfriend thinks he has the right to say anything about your son

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He’s the one being weird. It’s totally normal and ok for your son to want to color his hair.

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If he’s not the father of the child, I would not let his opinion interfere with what your child is asking for/your opinion of the matter.

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Its weird your partner thinks he has that sort of Authority over him

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What’s weird is being so entitled you think you have the right to say what someone else does with their hair. It’s weird to judge people by their looks and call them weird for being themselves. I’d be defensive too. Maybe the next time your boyfriend gets a haircut or does something with his hair tell him it’s weird and you’d prefer him not to do it. I bet he wouldn’t appreciate it.

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If his dad is cool with it then honestly it isn’t up to what the boyfriend thinks

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I don’t think it’s weird. I personally wouldn’t let my child color there hair at that young of an age unless it was with the colored hair spray stuff. That being said it’s your kid and if you think it’s okay more power to ya. If the child’s bio dad is in the picture and boyfriend isn’t taking on the role as bio dad would tell him to kick rocks and mind his damn business.

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Your child. You do as you please.

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I’m not sure why your boyfriend has any say when it comes to parenting your child. Let your son dye his hair! It’s just hair it will wash out eventually. Also, tell your boyfriend we said he’s weird.

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Sorry but my child was told she can wait till she is older not because its weird but because it can be hard on your hair and I feel that she should learn to love herself the way she is. Just my thoughts and I would not let others sway me on it so do what is right for you and yours.

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Why does the boyfriend have a say? Most important is to show the son a wholesome Christian loving environment. When the boyfriend is a husband he has a say. His biological father has the input. Also important that the boyfriend does not sleep in the same bed as you. I made so many mistakes myself and so many sins. Trying to save you the pain of the same mistakes.

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You are the parent and you expressed how you feel. That’s all that matters, boyfriend’s come and got, your son will always be your son and he should come first

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If your boyfriend isn’t your child’s father…then they get/have absolutely ZERO SAY.

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Your boyfriend shouldn’t have a say. He’s not his kid. And yall aren’t married.

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Not his say as its not his child, color that boys hair! Let him express himself and leave that boyfriend behind.

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If that’s the least of your concerns… your doing good.

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Don’t give a parenting position to someone who’s not

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He’s YOUR child!! Men are a dime a dozen! You do what makes you and your boy happy!!

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Could you imagine being upset about a kid wanting to be a kid? Don’t let someone, especially someone who’s not even the parent dull your kids shine. Letting your son do that would prevent probably mean more to him than you realize.

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7 is a bit young to die his hair in my opinion. However, this is leaving other questions. Is the kids father involved? Do you guys live together? Is he helping you take care of your child? He’s your bf not your husband. More or less I’d say do what you feel is best for your child.

At some point all boys want to dye their hair. It’s absolutely not abnormal behavior. “Frosted tips” used to be all the rage. I would explain to the boyfriend that it’s OK for him to have an active roll in the child’s life but never to make a child feel weird for their choices. I’m sure there are things he did as a child that others would think weird also. Children need to find themselves without judgment

Not his kid. I have 2 boys both with “crazy” hair. 14 yr old had red, 6 yr old has 1/2 green 1/2 blue. 6 yr old’s dad tried to say no when I initially did it last fall… that was when it was 1/2 blue 1/2 red. I obviously don’t listen… told him to F off :rofl: I also have red and purple, ombre-ish hair. Pics of all said hair on my page since I couldn’t upload any on this thread.

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7 is too young to allow a child to color their own hair, boy or girl, IMO.

Additionally, Whomever is father and mother to the child is whose opinion matters, not talking necessarily about blood related, but rather whomever spends their time and energy rearing this child and spending their paycheck feeding and housing the child is whose opinion matters…nonetheless 7 (IMO) is too young.

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Not his child lmfaooo

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He’s entitled to his opinion…you don’t have to take it into consideration if you don’t respect his opinion

Get a spray in color or color wax that just lasts a day that way it’s a good compromise. I’d never color a kids hair that young anyway.

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Ummmm why are you letting your boyfriend have say in what your son wants to do with his hair…now unless said boyfriend has been with you and child since he was a baby and your son looks to him as a father figure and boyfriend has taken on responsibility as a father then ok maybe then I can understand why he wants a say…but maybe compromise get your son hair dye that washes out after several baths…nothing wrong with a child experiencing different hair color and style. My daughter has dye her hair a few times we started with wash out stuff then semi permanent then last month she wanted to do full on permanent red …no a big deal it’s hair it’ll grow back to her natural hair color

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Not his kid.
Not his choice.

Also! How dare he call your child weird!!!

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Not his child. He has zero say…zero.

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I’ve been letting my daughter put colors in her hair since 8. I believe it’s their hair, their choice. There are going to be many many more battles. Let them have some control over themselves. It’s good for them!

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I’m a girl and my mom didn’t allow me to dye my hair until I got a certain age. Your boyfriend isn’t the dad… ultimately the decision is up to you and the boys dad. Maybe he just wants to do it because he saw someone else have a cool hair color. He might want it then decide he doesn’t like it and never do it again. It’s just hair…

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Hes allowed to have an opinion and you don’t have to agree. These comments saying leave him…like really ? Cause he thinks it’s weird ? :roll_eyes:

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Man.
All these people saying your significant other doesn’t have a say :flushed:
As a partner and parental figure - they kinda sorta do.
As a team tho…
otherwise what’s the point in trying to build with someone if everything is only one persons way?

I personally - as a mother in the same situation where my other half isn’t either of first two kids bios - believe it’s a team effort.
When you date a single parent - that child should mos def be treated as if your own, and it doesn’t matter blood or not, it’s still a parental figure the parent is attempting to SHARE a life with…
teamwork makes the dream work…

In this case - it’s just hair and his opinion is his, just as yours is yours. But I’d still sit down and talk to him about options, and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with making an executive call… sometimes we just have to.

But please for the love of god, keep in mind it’s a partnership, it takes teamwork. Everything can’t be your way or his either. :heart:

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The boyfriend shouldn’t even have a say concerning your son! Do as you please cause really it’s nobody’s business!

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Well first off, its hair. Second its self expression. Third, its technically not his kid. Hate to go there, but…

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If ur ok with it let him. A boyfriend shouldn’t have a say over you on things like that. Let your boy express himself

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Eff him and his opinion. What’s the harm in coloring his hair? Kids have little control over their life (compared to their level of desire for control) and its actually helpful, so long as there isn’t also negative body image issues or poor health habits. Also, your bf didn’t birth your son and its your son’s hair, so why is the decision up to your bf? Let your son choose and help him navigate any natural consequences that arise. Its a learning opportunity as long as you’re interested in growth and authenticity, otherwise, in my opinion, you’re just teaching judgment and authoritarianism.

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School is going to except him?

My seven year old wanted rainbow hair on rainbow day at school…Guess what?.. he got rainbow hair​:bangbang: he’s seven! Let him be a kid, we used “washable hair crayons” :heart:

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Let the boy color his hair…

I haven’t allowed my boys to use proper hair dye til they were teens, but before and my 11yr old uses chalk dyes or hair spray dyes. Each to their own, but many boys dye their hairs

He’s in the boys life he has a say in what happens, work together as a team and find a solution
Maybe he has to wait till he’s 10 or something
Maybe only the tips not full head
Maybe only blue or green or other “boy colors”
Personally feel your boyfriend is wrong but he’s who you choose to raise a kid with so you gotta respect his opinion and work together as a team

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And what does your sons father say? Your BF is allowed to have an opinion and you are allowed to have yours. Personally I would do what I thought best for my child, biological father or not.

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It is not weird at all but 7 is a little young in my opinion. Maybe consider a temporary color or washable one!

before i say zero say.

How long has he been involved with child? have you placed him in the role of father? is child’s father involved.

i won’t go and immediately say zero say because I do value my fiancé’s opinion when it comes to parenting my children and i also value their step moms opinion (even before she was legally their step mom.) It’s coparenting with all but ultimately my decision and their dads will trump step parents.

i don’t think it’s weird to dye boys hair. in fact i think his opinion is toxic and ridiculous. If you and his dad agree he can do it, for something like that i’d override my fiancé.

i think you also need to sit down and have some discussions about is parenting to make sure y’all are on the same page especially before you have children together