My boyfriend doesn't want my son to color his hair: Advice?

I won’t allow my kids tondye their hair either only with Kool aid or washable hair dye.i personally have always discussed things with the person im with and if they feel something diff then we talk about it.

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I have 3 kiddos. Two being boys. During the summer I let them put semi permanent hair color in their hair. It’s an easy simple way for them to express themselves. I didn’t ask my boyfriend nor their dad for permission. I just make sure a few weeks before school starts we let it go back to normal. :heart:

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Keywords are YOUR CHILD

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Mabe next time just do it without telling him

My daughter is now 14. She had been coloring her hair with highlights. Purple teall pink red etc since she was 5. Great grades brought great hair. She has actually outgrown it and now I miss it. It’s only hair. Do it when you don’t need to land that job,. There was an advantage. I always new where she was on the playground and baseball field. Just check with the school and make sure it’s not an issue

You’re ultimately the decider. I agree with the boyfriend.

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If you’re comfortable with your son dying his hair, let him dye his hair. Your boyfriend can’t tell you what to do with your son :woman_shrugging:t4: on top of that it being “weird” is not a valid reason.

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If you value his opinion in things like disciplining the child or have allowed him to be an authority to the child, I think it would be wise to listen to his thoughts because otherwise, it undermines his role in your family. If not, then it should be between you and the kid’s dad to make that decision.

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My son is 7 and I’ve colored his hair a couple times already. Nothing wrong with it. It’s hair.

Communicate. Maybe have the rule that after 10 he can dye he’s hair with chalk dye. Then when he’s 13 he can semi dye it (or something).

Don’t rule it completely out as it’s a way for your son to express himself. It’s not weird at all. I know heaps of guys that have dyed their hair heaps of times for events or because they got sick of their normal hair colour.

I let my kids experiment with hair and personal style when they were little. That’s the best time for them to do it. I would just have him use a temporary color that washes out in 6 weeks and no bleach or harsh chemicals

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Weird how? Lots of boys and men get their hair colored. It’s not weird at all. My brothers all got highlights or went blonde at some point in their youth. You can always try something non permanent. I think he’s making too big a deal out of it.

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I mean, I personally wouldn’t permanently dye my child’s hair until they reach teenage years. I don’t see any harm in washable dye/spray??

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Ummmm. It’s not weird. Be defensive. The boyfriend is weird. My son is 5 and wants to color his hair. We bought the washable one bc he’s little, but heck yeah he’s gonna get his 2 color hair !

Boys hair grows sooo fast … minor complaint … let him try it . Be gone in couple of weeks :woman_shrugging:t2::woman_shrugging:t2:

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Your son, your rules! Plain and simple!

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I mean I wouldnt let my kid that young dye their hair unless it was like a temporary wash out colour, but I damn sure wouldnt be allowing my boyfriend who isnt even his dad have a say in that.

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Not his kid. Tell him to butt out

Tell him to compromise and do the dye that washes out in a few days. The one with no chemicals, no nothing and won’t harm his head. Otherwise, not a big deal and definitely not weird

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Sounds like boyfriend has A LOT of maturing to still do.

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The most sincere smile i ever saw was my sons kindergarten picture with the red mohawk he is proudly rocking because his mom knows its just hair and totally worth the confidence vibin out of that picture 13 years later… go for it momma. Make his lil dream come true

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“Little boys don’t do that”

:roll_eyes::roll_eyes: tell him to check his internalized toxic masculinity first. I’d get any concern over permanent dyes vs semi-permanent, but this seems like he has issues with boys finding ways to express themselves outside of societal norms.

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Your bf doesn’t get to tell you what to do. Maybe wait until he’s a little bit older, then start off with a chalk hair colouring… once he’s in his teens, then a rinse, but I wouldn’t do a full blown colour until way later. If colouring is hair is the worst thing he’s going to do, you’re fine!!!

Your boyfriend needs to go. You obviously have opposite parenting styles.

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Hair is hair, cut it off it grows back, change the color and it will fade over time or washout. It’s a simple way to express yourself male or female.

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Tell your “boyfriend” to go kick rocks. I read a story about a kid wanting to color their hair and the parents just kept saying no… sadly the kid passed away a while later and the parents regret telling their kid no. Moral of the story, it’s hair… the color will fade…the hair will eventually get cut. Learn to live a little.

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Hair stylist here- there are tons of wash out color lines! I’m all for kids safely coloring their hair. Target even sells a brand of like an overtone pigmented conditioner type deal. I haven’t personally used it but I’ve heard good things.

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Did he say why its weird? I mean if he’s helping you raise YOUR son then I do believe he has every right to express his concerns. I feel like there is more to this and definitely missing some context. My mom let me have highlights at 10. My oldest is 14 and she gets her hair done.

Your son, your rules. Compromise and get one that rinses out after a few washes if you have to but in the end he doesn’t have much say 🤷

What’s weird is, your boyfriend finding it weird that a child wants to color their hair. Now that’s weird.

No, it’s not your boyfriend’s choice. Not his child and not married to you.

Your son comes first. I’d tell mine to kick rocks if he didn’t agree with my decision.

Whoa alot of people saying not his kid but I disagree. Taking into consideration his opinion I think is important. Is a short term colour ok or can he when he reaches 10 maybe ? What’s a compromise?

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Key word boyfriend. Time to go. “Boys don’t do that” that’s closed minded.

No. Your kid your choice.

Boyfriend giving strong opinions on your kid’s hair? Nah.

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What has your sons hair got to do with your boyfriend :rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:

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Lol. Just the other day, popping up in my memories was when I let my oldest (8 at the time) use temp hair dye. I didn’t speak to my mother for about 6 months over it.
The way I see it… They are young, it’s hair-I promise it will grow back. Let them have fun.

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He might just be worried. Now days, parents are letting their little kids choose their gender, which is mental and emotional child abuse btw. He might worry that this will confuse your kid? Without knowing more, it’s hard to give advice. It’s your kid, not his! Maybe agree on like blue or green and not pink? Idk if that would make him more comfortable but a compromise needs to be made.

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I remember being a kid and not getting a choice. Give him a sensible hair cut and let him go crazy at the appropriate ages. To much choice is not good for kids

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It’s not weird. If your son wants to do it, let him.

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Honestly its just hair it’ll grow back and can be redyed why not

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You said son from a previous relationship. The boyfriend has no say in the matter. I’d get birth father’s opinion and if he ain’t in the picture the decision should be all yours. And IMHO 7 is a little young to be coloring hair. But he’s yours.

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Let him know you need to pick your battles and if the only thing that boy wants to do is color his hair you got it made he could be doing a lot worse

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My 9 year old son asked to colour his hair blue today. I intend to get a wash out spray can. Don’t see the harm.

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How long have you and your boyfriend been in a relationship for? Does he play the role of a dad? If he is actively playing a role in raising your son with you he should be entitled to his views if this is the type of relationship you have. I think a lot of info has been missed out of this post.
Do you mean colour his hair with hair dye to or with the kids crazy colours you can wash out? Because me personally wouldn’t let my son who is 8 dye is hair with permanent hair dye at his age but if its just for fun and it washes out then don’t see the harm. Each to their own

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My 7 year old son loves to color his hair blue. We do it a few times a year. I recommend Artic Fox. It lasts a week or so depending on washes and they have several different colors

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It’s just hair. Go for it. If your child is respectful, behaves & does well in school, he should be able to have that “wild side” with his hair. Let him earn the privilege to dye it. I dyed my hair purple over 30 years ago before it was a thing. Lol Hair dye is temporary, not permanent & if he’s a good kid otherwise… I’d support it.

Sounds like bf has common sense, but if you allowed him in kids life then you should listen to him and talk it out, and if you just let kids do what they feel like doing your gonna have some problems too young anyway. :sparkling_heart::sparkling_heart::pray::pray::pray:

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Tell him to shut his stupid face if your kid wants to dye his hair so what

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If you don’t let them be weird now, you’ll have a rebellion against your hands when they’re old enough to dye their hair with friends or make money and do it without permission anyways

My son just turned 8 on Sunday and his hair is blue, my daughter is 6 and hers is pink. They love it and it’s fun, I used semi-permanent no bleach hair dye that slowly washes out. Not every hair dye is forever people :roll_eyes:

That being said it’s not your boyfriends place to make decisions for your child, it’s yours. It’s not affecting him at all. Let the kid have some fun and dye his hair.

Who cares not his son not his decision

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Get something temporary like hair chalk instead. Your bf doesnt get a say. Let the kid show his uniqueness and let him be himself not who your bf thinks. Let him color his hair anyways he wants to. Its all temporary. It will grow out. There are washout options to your bf needs to back off.

My daughter wanted mermaid hair more than anything for her 8th birthday. It was fascia, teal, blue, purple. She was so proud and it was beautiful on her. My son died his hair for years about a month before he shaved it for St.Baldricks. He loved it too. Sumner is coming, let him has his fun!

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Boys shouldn’t dye their hair?? Lol since when?

Do it now so your son can figure out who he is, suppressing his identity can do damage

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And by the way its not weird. Your boyfriend is weird.

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It’s not your boyfriends kid. You do with your child as you damn well please girl.

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Not weird at all. My older son watches Anime and my 5 year old now wants to dye his hair pink and be like an Anime character. lol. No issues here. Children should be allowed to be just that: children. Have fun, explore, dress up…he’ll be happier as a person. :heart:

Not his son, not his choice. :woman_shrugging:

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Your son! Your decision!

I wouldn’t want to dye my sons hair at that age, but if I wanted to that would be MY choice, not my partners!

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He’s just a boyfriend so until he becomes a dad to him his opinion doesn’t matter when it’s your son

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The question wasn’t really whether she should let her son color his hair or not. It’s is she being to defensive towards her boyfriend’s parenting opinion. A man can find colored hair weird all day long, and they do along with makeup and heals, and all things they consider “girly”. That doesn’t stop the mass production of all things “girly”, and women have dumped men over opinions equal or less.
I believe being defensive over if your boyfriends over all opinion of your son is “he’s weird” that is reason to be defensive. Your baby is 7, learning to be independent in thinking and finding out where your set boundaries on his own body autonomy are, not being weird. Please encourage the “brought up interest” behavior in your son first thing! That will lead to good communication in the future when you’ll need it most

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Uhhhhhh no you’re not in the wrong. I put purple in my daughters hair 2 summers ago, and plan to do something for her again this year. I do the “unnatural” temporary colors in the summer because they’re out before school starts again in the fall. But then at least the kiddos can have fun with it. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with him expressing himself through his hair color!

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If your partner is your partner and in your son’s life as a father/ authority figure I think you need to come to a common goal. Maybe something not so permanent or washable. As parents you need to work as a team. Otherwise your son will not see him as an authority figure later on knowing you will let him do as you wish. Being a step parent is hard enough yet alone when you and your bio partner are not on the same page. Maybe discuss with him more in detail why he is so against it? Find common ground.

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It isn’t your boyfriend’s hair

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It’s your child. If YOU are okay with it, then that’s all that matters.

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You are not even married to him. Why does he get a say in your sons’s choices.

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Also it is not weird at all

The child is 7

I’d be happy if my ex told my 7 year old NO to dying his hair - but then I’d have to agree with him - 7 in my eyes is toooo young!

If he’s an active parent in his child’s life then all parties should agree before any decision should be allowed by a 7 year old - like dying their hair.

This is your first of many co parenting battles :two_hearts:

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Hes the boyfriend. YOURE the mom. If you think its fine then go for it! Even if my hubby thought it was “weird” I would tell him “welcome to 2021 baby at least my son is still a boy today!” And then let the hair coloring commence!

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I personally don’t think you’re being too defensive. One he is your son and if you choose to do it then go for it. Two it’s not weird that your son wants to color his hair he’s a kid I e seen tons of boys with colored hair and I find nothing wrong with it. My son has wanted it too and I did it with a washable one. He was happy with it.

Until he puts a ring on your finger… he’s just a boyfriend. His opinion is not really needed.

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Kids love to express themselves, it’s a key part of life! Don’t dampen his creativity :black_heart:
The boyfriend can have an opinion but ultimately, that is YOUR call. I’m not gonna say “that’s not his kid” because my boyfriend loves and cares for my daughter like his own, so that’s just not quite what to say here. But it is your decision as your son’s mother.

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They also have hair chalk that washes out! Maybe try that to see what he wants/likes!

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Stand up for your son. This sounds like the beginning of the end for either your son or relationship. Unless he can see the light, that boys don’t have to fit the image that society created 100 years ago, he will push this type of stigma on him for the rest of your relationship. Don’t let that happen. For some reason, men seem to fear that they’ll be judged and deemed less manly if they let their sons do things that other people don’t agree with.
My husband is a giant, manly-man with every ounce of his being. That being said, if our 4 year old wants his nails painted, they’re painted. If he wants to play princess dress up with his sisters, my husband helps him put on the heels. If he wants earrings, we clip them on. It’s only as weird as you make it🤷🏼‍♀️ he also enjoys hot wheels, bugs, mud, and wants to have a beard… let these boys express themselves without homophobic adults getting in the way.

He is just a bf right now, and besides that, he is 100% wrong. There is nothing wrong with a 7 year old boy dying his hair.

Girl that is YOUR SON. That isn’t even his son! He doesn’t get to have a say in what your son wants, especially if you aren’t married. Sure he can have an opinion, but he doesn’t get to have the final yes or no decision on whether or not your son colors his hair. Don’t let him have that kinda power. It’s very common for kids to want to start experimenting with things like coloring hair, so it’s not weird. I’m confused. Why does he even think it’s weird in the first place? Because he is a boy or because your son wants to go a uncommon color? I mean, either way, it’s weird he finds this odd. :woman_facepalming:t2:

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Im sorry, BOYFRIEND? Baby he has no say so in any damn thing lol fuck him amd his opinion. If youre fine with it, do it!

You’re his mom.
YOU are the mom. It’s not “weird”, that’s just toxic masculinity and him projecting his fear of not appearing “masculine” onto your son.

Get hair chalk! Comes in all kinds of colors and is not permanent.

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There’s spray hair colour that washes out after a few days… or vegan dyes like manic panic and directions fade and wash out over time.

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It’s not up to him. He needs to decide his own likes. Not someone else deciding it. Again, it’s not your boyfriend’s place. Let your son dye his hair. Who cares. Your bf breaks up with you for it, oh well. Your son deserves better than him. Your bf sound toxic as hell.

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Meet in the middle with temporary spray on dye

My then 12 and 9 year old boys wanted to dye their hair. One was blue and one was pink. I did it. Their grandma had a problem with it and I said. “Oh well” :woman_shrugging:t2: didn’t help make em, dye washes out, its just hair. Let them be kids. At the school I work in (elementary) I’ve seen a 7 yr old boy with with hair and a kindergarten girl with pink and purple :woman_shrugging:t2: I think it’s awesome seeing kids want to be different instead of “fit in”

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I’m gonna be the odd one out and say even tho u two aren’t married he should still have a say although We don’t have enough information on how long u have been with him or how long he’s been in ur child’s life. If u plan on being with this man teaching ur child now that he doesn’t have to listen to him would not be a good idea. Yes u should be the primary decision maker but he should have a say if he’s helping raise ur child. Try meeting him in the middle and seeing if u can get a wash out spray dye. My son’s wanted blue hair last year ( 7 and 9 at the time) we got the dollar spray hair color and it came out the next day. They ended up deciding it was weird and they didn’t like it lol

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Welp he’s not the dad so…

well tell him isn’t it weird that you be dating a grown man who thinks its a gender problem for boys to dye their hair… especially not being their bio child

Great way to make a child feel insecure about how they want to be in life,

He’s your boyfriend, not the boys father. Side with your child because his opinion has nothing to do with your parenting.
Your son can have his hair colored if you don’t mind it.

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Son wants it done then let him get it done. There’s literally no harm in it.

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My son has a bright red mohawk. Sometimes its pink, sometimes its purple, sometimes its blue. You tell your bf that ITS JUST HAIR AND IT GROWS BACK and if it looks that bad it can be shaved right off!!

I would tell the boyfriend to mind his own business

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Simply put I would be ticked at anyone for calling my child weird for any reason.
Getting defensive about is absolutely the right reaction when someone insults your child whether they did so intentionally or not and that is excellent what he did, so no you are not crazy at all for defending your child. Which, beyond the rest of the post seemed to be the question you were asking. You are a mom. You are right to stick up for your child.

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Your child ur rules!

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Not up to him. If my son wants to dye his hair. I’m all all for it. It’s currently growing out. He doesn’t want it cut. He’s 3 but still his hair.

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Is it his kid? If not you the mother makes the decision not the boyfriend

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The child is YOURS and YOU make all decisions, he has ZERO say. Your boyfriend can mind his own business or bug off.

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Try coloured gel and hair wax. It washes out and he can play with more colours

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I don’t think little children should be dying their hair.

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