My boyfriend doesn't want my son to color his hair: Advice?

No your boyfriend is being an ass

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It’s not weird. It’s hair. It grows out. My kids have had mohawks(daughter and all boys except my youngest), red hair, purple hair, colored spots in their hair, blue hair, mermaid hair(my daughter) ect. The hair isn’t permanent so they can do whatever they want with it. Started at 6 with all of them

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It is not weird. I don’t let my 7 year old son dye his hair but we did stuff that washes out after a few washes, the spray hair color and we just did blue, green and orange hair chalk in his hair for his sister’s birthday party.

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This is why I don’t date. No one is going to tell me what I can I can’t do with my daughter.

Boyfriend… no jurisdiction

You’re not crazy. Your boyfriend seems sexist af.

My son is almost 4 and expressed wanting his hair colored. So we let him pick out a color of koolaid and dyed it with conditioner.

Don’t let anyone shame your son for things that make him happy if it harms NO ONE.

That includes toxic sexist boyfriends.

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He can pipe the eff down too.

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What do you want… He’s your son

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He has wisdom as a man, to me your son is trying to feel special by coloring his hair to get attention. Give him love and attention and let him know his hair is too special to mess with.

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Well it’s not his body so not his choice.

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My daughter wanted to do her hair. I said we had to talk to her dad. We both agreed she was to young. My niece is 8 and her mom took her and did her hair purple and now it’s blue at a salon. Co parenting I asked what he thought and we both agreed to young. Now in saying that as a Christmas gift she got hair paint. It comes out in the wash. We did it here. I also sent a package for her to do with her dad over a visit once to bond, his gf helped her with it. Each person and situation is different but I feel like its to young for real permanent stuff personally.

It’s none of his business :woman_shrugging:t3:

Wait…stop…Your bf…as in not the child’s father has zero say.
That is all

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Most 7 year old do not color their hair which is why it’s weird for some. It is becoming more normalized though. However, I would talk it out rather than get defensive. I would hear his side, if you respect him, and he would hear mine. Then I would compromise and do a spray in maybe first, then a semi permanent. I dont let my 5 and 8 year olds color their yet just because I went to hair school and dont want to start it young. My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years but he was my best friend and in my childrens lives for like 4 years before. He is more of a dad than their real dad and loves them as his own so I would respect his decision and compromise as their father figure because he ultimately has their best interest as I do at mind. I feel like everyone saying “boyfriend needs to bug out” has their right but it depends on the circumstances with you two and his relationship with your son. Most issues in relationships these days is everyone is so quick to jump on the Leave him train, rather than communicating and working small issues out like these.

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Not weird. Kids are allowed to express themselves… its 2021.

It depends on the age of the child, and personality of said child, and what colour he wants to go. If the child is say 5-9 and wants to colour his hair use hair chalk is harmless and washes out at the end of the day. If he’s a teenager, all teen males these days have some sort of colour in their hair I do my teens hair all the time different colours because it gives him confidence. If you ‘bf’ wants to way in with the parenting part listen take what he says on board as he is beside you raising your son but at the end of the day it’s still your call what happens to your child’s hair.

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My son is 10 & I take him to get it colored every few months . He recently got blue & purple and it’s slowing fading his next choice of color is red . It’s just hair and can be cut off and grows back . I would let him express himself . Also , he’s your boyfriend not the father. It’s just hair.

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I’m sorry but as soon as I got to the part where it says, “my boyfriend doesn’t want my son to…”, things got blurry.

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Its your son not his ,
So no it be weird if you let your boyfriend call the shots ,

To bad for your boyfriend!!!

ITS YOUR KID! Your boyfriend has 0 say!

The boyfriend has a right to his own opinion but ultimately it’s a decision for YOU and YOUR son to make.

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First off! He is your child! Not his! Why are you consulting in a man who didn’t give birth to him?

Erm so guys in the 90s frosted their hair and now dye it whats wrong with it now??? Id ask him if he ever frosted his haie

You’re not crazy. Hair grows back and it’s better to let kids have autonomy over their bodies. If the boyfriend has issues with it - get another boyfriend. Your kids come first.

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I’ve colored my sons hair before! It’s just expression❤️

I mean. If your in an active relationship, naturally you should respect his reasoning. But look at it from third part view. And ask what is it specifically that makes changing hair color weird? A child, Be it 7 or 17, is still an individual with wants and likes and dislikes and should be treated so. Not as an empty Ken doll to try and form to how some one else views a man. Hair color is not permanent and many ppl do it all the time with no harm. Plus you can get temporary colors and semi permanent colors to start off with.

Ok first off…everyone saying that its not his dad he has no say…so then why is she with him to begin with? If not to have a future with the guy which ultimately means being there for her son as well… Not a pick and choose when she wants his opinion :person_shrugging::person_shrugging: and as far as ur son being 7 i personally think thats just too young for painting his hair

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Okay I’m out of this other then please make sure your using safe dye when you do. Things like splat KILLS hair. He’s so young it’ll be hard for him to ever get decent hair back if you use the wrong dye. If you already know this, perfect! If not, please please please do some looking into what dye you use. Im no hair tech but from personal experience, it’s worth getting the more expensive stuff (with good balance of oils and such) if you do it at home. And it’s even more worth the money to go to a quality hair salon. (Research everything down to the product to the salon.) My fiance really wanted to dye his hair pink and wouldn’t listen about splat. With one dye process I was pulling hair out just trying to dry his hair out.

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Let your child express himself. That’s not your boyfriends job to decide. His job is to be loving, excepting and supportive to you and your kid. I dont see a ring on your finger. He can’t make step daddy decisions when it comes to your kid with position of a boyfriend. They come and go ( boyfriends)…your kid will always be there.

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Wow. Why is this even a question? Your bf sucks

Not weird at all let your son decide and tell boyfriend if he has nothing nice to say about it then f@ck off

He is youre son not his he is just someone you have in youre life youre son youre decision and there is nothing wrong with augmenting ur looks if coloring his hair helps his security level I say go for it youre sons identity should not revolve arround youre boyfriend he is just that youre boyfriend he isn’t a step father so he has no place even voicing his opion cause it’s irrelevant

Also what is his reasoning behind “little boys shouldn’t do that” because it sounds like it might be homophobic

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He is your child. It’s just hair.

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Not his kid. Not his decision. Full stop

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I’m not going to tell you that “he isn’t his father and that it’s your decision” but I am going to say that you should let your kid express himself in any way that he wants. I started dying my daughters tips of her hair purple because one day a friend of mine came over to get me to help her dye her hair and she was like mommy I wanna do that too.

My brothers used to let me paint their finger nails and such as kids… :woman_shrugging: it’s natural to want to express yourself

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As a cosmetology student, please don’t let him dye his hair at this age. The hair is still developing and will not be ready for dye until AT LEAST 13 years old.

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YOUR son. Not your boyfriends.
Boys can color their hair just like girls. Self expression shouldn’t have a gender.

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“Boyfriend” :roll_eyes: he’s YOUR child, you have the say. Not him.

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I see no issue with him doing it, however maybe Get him the chalk stuff so that it doesn’t damage it and he can change colors as much as he wants and wash it out when he doesn’t want it anymore.

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Good thing it’s your decision and not your boyfriends.
Do what makes you and your son happy.
It’s hair colour not a face tattoo.
BF will have to get over it.

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He’s just a boyfriend. He wouldn’t be telling me what MY child is allowed to do!

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Hes only 7… he doesnt need to colour his hair

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He voiced his opinions, but you as his mom has final say so. Imo he’s too young but too each parent their own.

Not his kid! Not your husband so no say for him!

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He’s not too young to color his hair. My best friends son was 4 when he told her that he wanted to have cool hair like she did. She always had bright red hair. He wanted blue. They used kid friendly dye and it washed out in a few washes. Sure, he may not have needed to color his hair but he wanted to and it was a fun thing they did to spend time together. Y’all sound like a bunch of fun suckers with the “he’s too young” and “he doesn’t need to dye his hair”. Seriously though girl, color his hair! Fuck your boyfriends opinion.

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No .Your not crazy.its your sons hair.Let him do it.Tell him (the bf) its ok for him to believe what he wants.Its how ever not ok to force that on to any child his or not.Your doing it anyway.Because in the end .Its ur sons hair.hes expressing himself.Its not just a girl thing.Its who ever wants to color there hair thing.Teaching your child its ok to Express their self with no judgement is an awesome thing.

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No. He can fuck off.

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Do this for your son. Then, do your boyfriend’s bright freaking pink…while he’s sleeping. :smiling_face:
#goodtrouble

https://commonpanda.com/products/colorwax

My son is 2 and likes his nails painted, boys can like color on themselves just as much as girls. Tell him to mind his business lol

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No ur bAby is only tryin to express how he/she feels it’s not bad at all my kids r 18 14 there girls n they been doing there hair for a while now my son’s r 6 n 5 n they want to color there hair a I said that’s kool it’s them expression how they feel yes maybe young but let them have fun

I mean I’d let the kid do it no matter if it’s his or not :woman_shrugging:t3: it is his hair should be his choice mine had red and blue hair at that age. Plus it grows so fast a few weeks and if he doesn’t like it you can cut it

Not because it’s weird… For me it’s more, until they are old enough, to be responsible for ruining their own hair, it won’t be me doing or allowing it. Girls or boys🤷🏽‍♀️. But, he’s not his child & it’s your decision to make, which seems like you have. The whole manly thing guys got going in their brain for how a boy should act, they get over real quick if you don’t allow it to dictate how you raise your child, father or just a boyfriend. And if they don’t, bye✌️

:woman_shrugging: even if it is weird, that doesn’t make it wrong. If you are torn on this, maybe find a middle ground? Like hair chalk or hair color wax. Easy to put in easy to get back out. Could be treated the same way as make up for young ladies. Set boundaries on when he can use it, and if he is allowed to leave home with it on. If he is, set boundaries on where can he wear it. to school? Church? The park? To visit someone?

Just let him do it… There’s so much kid friendly, semi-permanent options out there… My 10yo son has had a whole variety of colors by now🤣 red, gray, white, blue variating from dark to denim, green, orange(due to kingsday here in the Netherlands)… Give it a few washes and its back to normal… Its fun to do together and he really loves it…

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I died my 14 year old brothers hair for him last year… pink!! We did it with our mum who sadly passed away shortly after. It was one of my last favourite memories with all of us. We all thought it was hilarious. It was all washed out within a few weeks and no harm was done. Aslong as he wont get in trouble as school I say just do it for him and enjoy the bonding xx

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I think he’s too young for a permanent colour but a wash in/wash out colour wd be fine for my young kids.
Also, unless your boyfriend is the only Dad your lad has ever known, it’s nothing really to do with him.
Thirdly, he’ll be the same boy with purple and pink hair as he is with natural colouring. People don’t just change because they’ve put on a diff pair of underwear. Boyfriend needs to change his way of thinking. Fast.

My e year old has coloured hair lol. Has done for 6 months now. I dyed mine for Halloween last year & he wanted it too so he got it. Everytime I update mine, he asks for a different colour. So far he has had purple, blue, green & yellow with green tips. I use Directions so it’s not harsh on his hair & is vegan. He doesn’t bleach it before like mine so fades faster but still looks cool.

You’re boyfriends weird, and it’s also weird you haven’t already coloured his hair lol! My boyfriend, the father said not to dye our sons hair pink, my son wanted pink… he got pink hair :woman_shrugging:t3::woman_shrugging:t3:

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My boys had red, yellow, orange… They areb7&9… Due a top up soon. My daughter had purple. Now she has rainbow braids… Surprisingly i thought my hubby wouldnt agree but he loved it. The are kids. Let them have fun and experiment with hair colours…

Tell him to mind his damn business it’s ur son at the end of the day! And I believe kids these days should be able to express themselves how they want. Coming from a sheltered girl who in the year 2000 was wearing skirts and shorts below my knee because my mother was hard core old school … I couldn’t shave my legs or anything not my eye brows let alone wear makeup like the other girls… it was ok but I wish I would of been able to have like a temporary hair color or nails or anything like the cool kids . Let him be and it’s not weird … cool hair is in whatever gender you are … I’m getting the feeling he’s thinking it’s femi or gay like and if it is ? Let him be who he wants or he well hold regret his whole life because he can’t be who he wants he has to hide it

I mean. get your son some wash out dye & compromise in the middle.

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It’s none of your boyfriend’s business!!! He is your son!

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It’s weird that he’s trying to control your son’s hair color. That’s the only weird thing here. Don’t let this man make you second guess your parenting decisions. You’re right, he’s wrong, no middle ground here.

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i dont think coloring hair is that big of a deal but please becareful with words. if he is helping physically and financially with your son do not say you have no say cause that seems like he has rights to your kid when needed and not when hes not. explain thats its just a hair color and you want him to express himself!

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He’s you’re son you make the final decision unless his bio dad is still in the picture then that’s between you two. My boy friend can voice his opinion about my son but in the end it’s my call on what I allow my 10yr old to do and not do. Punky color or manic panic would be best since it won’t damage the hair and isn’t permanent it washes out after 40 washes or something like that

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It’s just a phase, and a few washes later it’s all gone, as he grows he ll just think it was just part of being a kid. It’s only weird to your husband I suspect someone said that to him when he was young. Anyway it’s s different world now.

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7 is a bit young for colouring hair. I live in uk and the schools have strict hair rules. However if it’s ok where your child goes to school and you feel it’s ok as his mum then I don’t see a problem. Completely up to you. Personally I would be wondering why a 7 yr old wants to make a drastic change to their appearance. Is it a peer thing? Has others his age dyed their hair? Also consider that dye is chemicals and wouldn’t be very healthy for such a young child.

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What is the big deal if he wants to color his hair? It’s not permanent and he just wants to experiment and express himself, nothing wrong with that. Both of my sons had rat tails, even after it went out of style. They liked it and wanted it so why not. Could be a lot worse things that they want to try.

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“Boyfriend” voiced his opinion. Good for him. If it’s not against school rules, do it. If your son decides he doesn’t like it, that’s why they make a razor.

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I’d say being defensive is :pinching_hand:t3: over board. Remember, it is your child and you ultimately have the say. Him, ALSO his parent, should be included in conversation. He can have an opinion, but unless he has a valid concern it shouldn’t stop little man from coloring his hair. If you’re cool with it and little man wants it, what does it hurt? Just be careful how often you trump his opinions for the child in question simply being from a past relationship. He’s with you, he parents the child, he loves you guys, he’s a parent too. This particular situation though, it’s like a pick and choose your battles on his part. He needs to look at the big picture: does it make little man happy, is it harmful, ect. Not letting him do it cause he ‘finds it weird’ seems more personal then specific. If he finds it weird, he can not color his own hair. But his preferences like that should not dictate what another should do or like.

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I mean he’s your son so your boyfriend doesn’t have a say in it. If he doesn’t agree that’s fine, he just has to deal with it. But it might be something to think about if issues like this would bother you if you have a child together.

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Does he live with you? Did you allow him to be a part of your sons upbringing? Does he support yous financially? If any of these are yes then he has every right to a opinion on this. So many girls bringing men into their children’s life and expecting them to have no opinion . The minute a man entered your life for a serious relationship , they are also entering your child’s… Therefore I think he’s opinion should be also respected, long term your child will learn to play yous of against each other if yous can’t agree on simple things like hairdye x

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My boyfriend said the same thing. I colored my sons hair. It gave him an opportunity to express himself. It’ll be cut off in a few months. A few month experience is worth it. It is a little weird but it made him happy. My boyfriend respected that I have the ultimate say. I hear him out on a lot of things but at the end of the day I’m the decision maker for my kids.

Nope. Your child, your decision. I think as long as your child is within school code (if he’s in school right now) it’s fine to let him Express himself in safe, creative ways. I would be wondering if you should have a serious conversation with boyfriend if he has an issue with gender norms, though. If you plan on keeping him around for the long run, what will he say if your child comes out as gay or transgender in a few years?

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Your kid your say. Me personally at that age we did temporary such as chalk and coloring gel. No damage and if my kid didn’t like it he could just wash it out.

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It not always fun when youre protective of your child that is yours and you have raised and then you allow someone else to step in as a role of a parent and we don’t always agree with what they have to say and at the end of the day it’s your child. Just try to be open. And you have the final decison. Its hard to let someone else in when you’ve done the work. …also … My son is 7 my daughter is 10 they wanted to experiment with hair dye. Yes they are young. Yes grandma freaked out but I let them anyways. Its not.going to be a consistent thing but it’s just hair. Boys will out grow that in just a couple weeks but as far as chemicals and ruining their hair and them being young it was just a one time for the fun. And it’s 2021 not the 1900s.

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Both…why does he care?? Not his decision.
As an educated hairdresser, don’t use OTC junk please, if you insist on doing it. Consider that hair color is a very harsh chemical and I wouldn’t put it on a 7 yr old even with parental consent. Too many chances of allergy at this age.
I suggest colored hair gel/chalk etc. Not nearly as damaging to the hair and scalp and more importantly not permanent. You can change the color on a whim and many schools don’t allow colored hair.

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It’s not weird, this is 2021 and a lot of things are cool now that weren’t in our day. I’ve colored my sons hair several times and my husband ( his Dad) didn’t like it. We did crazier colors like green when he was 10, but now he likes it blonde/ highlights. It looks great on him! I always support my kids in making fun changes like that. The hair can be cut and grows out fast.

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I think seven’s a little young to be coloring their hair but if he doesn’t have a problem with school rules you could use the washing kind where it’ll wash out and just a couple of washings that way if he doesn’t like it it’s not permanent and have to grow out

OMG lady hive the respect to your husband that he care
one join in though as the. Child is very young.

  1. Check ruled at school 2. How costly
  2. Join in agreement
    4 decide for how long
    5.this is a choice as a mom but he those provide

I have no advice because I won’t even let my girl color her hair. She’s only 8 so in my opinion it’s very inappropriate. I won’t let her until she’s at least 15 :woman_shrugging:t2:

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I mean if you aren’t asking/having him help you with anything related to your son then sure ignore his opinions. Otherwise if this boyfriend is someone you are trying to make a part of your family long term you need to bring him in under that umbrella and respect his opinions as well :woman_shrugging:t2: If not your kind of being selfish even keeping him around.

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as long as the school doesn’t have any rules about it, it’s really your call. if you and his father are co-parenting, then it’s your call, plural. the better question is, why does your b/f presume he gets a say in the matter one way or another? it’s not like it affects him in the slightest

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I think your son is too young for chemical dyes.
Alot of kids are experimenting with hair color nowadays. It’s not uncommon for boys to have colored hair.
My 17 yr old went from purple to pink and now red.
Also, If your son has light colored hair, there are shampoos at most beauty stores that will deposit color very well. I’d suggest those.

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Its not weird and it’s not his child to be deciding these small trivial things. Its up to you. If he wants to start a fight about it he knows where the door is.

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It’s between you and the biological father. Boyfriend has no say. Period.

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All these comments “just the boyfriend”, “some guy”, are kinda disrespectful if you don’t know the dynamics of his role. I’ve been with my fiance for 5 years and we marry next month. He’s the only father my son’s ever had. He supports him in all ways. His opinion matters to me, because even though he’s not my son’s father, he plays that role. And who knows if that’s the situation here. Besides that, I think 7 is too young to dye hair. Just my opinion. I waited until mine was 10, and he wanted color added in. We discussed it and got a semi permanent dye that washes out after a few shampoos.

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Get hair chaulk ,its simple and washes out . He would love that better . I personally wouldn’t actually dye his hair at 7

First off , if you want your boyfriend to be a part of your sons life then it should start now on decision making on what he thinks . Yeah Yeah he’s your son but if you want a man in his life to help him make better choices than it should start now on his answer , which is No he can not dye his hair.

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Let the boy dye his hair. My son is 8 and has had all types of hair colors. Blue, red, green. Blonde tips. It’s not a usual thing but he loves it when he has special hair.

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I don’t think anyone that young should color thier hair

I’m with your boyfriend on this. 7 is way too young. :person_shrugging:

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I think 6 is way to young to strip your hair of its natural color and health!!

Let the boy color his hair it gives them confidence in themselves and personality

Let your son color his hair. Boys color their hair just like girls do. I dont see it being weird. Maybe your bf is weird lol. My son is 5 and I’m sure he’d color his hair too lol

Your child your call… why would your bf get a say?! hair is fun and grows out. I say let him!

If you guys decide on it then I would say go with semi permanent color first that washes off in a couple of weeks