My boyfriend finds it disturbing that my 6-year-old son still co-sleeps with me: Thoughts?

My son is six years old, and he’s been sleeping in the same bed with me ever since he was born. We both almost lost our lives while I was giving birth to him, so I always have a close bond with my son. I have been in a relationship with this guy for about eight months; he moved in with my son and me a couple of months ago. My boyfriend has been complaining that my son needs to sleep in his own bed, and he makes fun of my son and me. He left me this morning saying it disgusting that my son sleeps with me, and it’s disturbing that he sleeps in the same bed as I do. At what age did your kids stop sleeping in the same bed as you, and do you think it’s disturbing that a kid sleeps in the same bed with your significant other? Am I wrong for letting my son sleep with me until I think he’s ready and what his thoughts on this situation?

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Not wrong to sleep with you… but I believe it’s wrong to sleep with you and your bf.

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Its weird that you let your son sleep with you and your boyfriend, yes. Just you, no.

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You need to allow him to grow, cut the apron stings, you can still have an awesome relationship with him but he should be in his own bed

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My boys are 6 and 4 and still sleep with me. You need to get rid of the dude 🤷

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Sounds like it’s a whole lot of none of your boyfriends business.

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Boy bye. Regardless if your feelings are right or wrong, he’s wrong. He needs to shut the hell up or go. Your son is number 1. What’s going to be the next issue with your son when he’s over this? It’s never ok for him to act like that.

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If he has a problem with it he can go on somewhere. Your kids come first always. Sorry he’s so bothered :woman_shrugging:t2:

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I slept with my parents until I was 8. No shame. Tell the boyfriend it ain’t his kid, after 6 months he doesnt get a say yet.

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Dump him and move on. He is NOT the one. Your waisting your time with him. He’s jealous of your son,ridiculous

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My oldest and I had a real close bond too but never co sleep. To each their own. But yes their own room and bed is a good thing and kid should be in school or starting school soon its time

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Hes an idiot get rid of him

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My daughter quit at 18 months I put her in her own room. She does occasionally have bad nights and ends in our bed and she is 3.

Your bf sounds verbally abusive or like he has some sort of childhood trama to be so freaked out by this but, now that your boyfriend lives with you… yea it’s time for the kid to sleep in his own bed! Also though, this isnt his kid so he has no attachment, adults get jealous too be mindful and watch for signs!

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Agree with Sara Metcalf

Im jus gonna say this when my brothers and i stayed with my dad at his house id sleep in our room where as my brothers wanted to sleep in my dads room n that was up till they were like 8 or 9

Any man that tries to put himself before your child has got to go

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Your boyfriend needs to go… your son is your number one priority and if this is how he’s reacting to your mother son bond while knowing the story behind it then he sounds like a real asshole

This is so sad. And also a big red flag in my opinion. In our house at 10 my step son wanted his own bed on his own. We only get so many cuddles until they dont want them anymore. We cherish the co sleeping with our 5 year old and will until she asks to sleep in her own bed.

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It would be different if it was his own kid. I see your side. I let my kids sleep with me and my hubby whenever they want cause eventually they ain’t gonna want nothing to do with u anymore .tell the dude to move the hell out then or he can sleep on the couch. Kid was here first :woman_shrugging:

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I don’t think it’s wrong to sleep with you, but I do think he is a bit too old. However I also find it offensive the comments your boyfriend is making about it. It’s one thing to say that he doesn’t approve and it’s another to tell you it’s disgusting. However, I also agree with the other ladies above that he probably shouldn’t be sleeping with you and your boyfriend as well

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By that age he should be sleeping in his own bed even if it’s next to you. BUT he is your child so what ever makes you feel comfortable and if he doesn’t like it he can sleep on the sofa or kick rocks in my opinion

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I’m damn near 20 and still crawl into bed my momma time to time :woman_shrugging:t4:

My daughter slept in our bed until she was 6. My youngest daughter is now in the bed.

Haha. He is jelly of your son? Because thats actually disgusting and disturbing.
I think you’ve acquired the wrong BF, girl. Ha.

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Sleeping with you is one thing …sleeping with you and bf is kinda “ehhh” i would do baby steps … maybe put a toddler bed or something in your room

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I don’t think your children are ever to old to sleep with you. There are some days your kid needs you and you are a mother first. He’s just a boyfriend, that kid is your son. Children get sick, children need their momma’s sometimes. It’s a very normal practice around the world. I would never be okay with someone saying my kid sleeping with me is disturbing. My door will always be open to my child

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My boys are 4 and 1 and my 1 year old sleeps with us and my 4 year old Comes and goes so sometimes he will climb into bed with us and sometimes he just goes to the couch. Not wrong. :woman_shrugging:t2:

I do not see any respect coming from him … therefore you can find better :heart:

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Slept with my mum til I was 12. My kids sleep with me and my partner sometimes they’re 2 and 5 x

If you are planning on staying with this man then yes it’s time to break the ties as far as sleeping with you and the boyfriend. I would slow transition it though start with the kiddo on the couch. Give him a walkie talkie or something so if he feels he needs you he can talk with you.

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Get did of the bf. He sounds like a Jerk. That being said, a six yet old might get excited about having his very own bed. Every family is different.

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If he’s making fun of both of you that’s pretty awful. I don’t what his difference of opinion is he’s handling it like a child. I’d say bye bye!

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It isn’t wrong or gross. And I understand your reasoning. But it’s time he learns to sleep in his own bed in his own room. And he shouldn’t be in the same bed as you and your boyfriend. Your man also chose horrible wording. Of be having a nice conversation with him and correct the way he said it real quick.

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I mean it is your child vut he is 6 and needs to ve introduced to his bed.
He has a right to feel weird about it. I mean he should not be in the bed with you and your boyfriend. Itd be different if it was his dad. … Maybe hes feeling this way bc he wants adult interaction bc im praying you guys dint do that with him right there

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If a man ever calls you or your child disgusting than he’s not the man for you. But, I also don’t think your boyfriend should be sleeping in the same bed as your child.

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It isn’t the boyfriend’s place, but …your son should be in his own bed by now, especially if you have a man in your bed.

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He is old enough to sleep on his own.

I don’t co-sleep. I never did. My son has always been a flip flop kind of sleeper. My fiancé doesn’t mind if my son SOMETIMES comes to lay down with us like if he doesn’t feel well or had a bad dream. I personally am glad my son doesn’t sleep in my bed because my fiancé is a morning sex kind of person and will often wake up ready to go. Plus it gives us healthy boundaries for this is my space and that is your space.

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It’s disturbing that your boyfriend thinks it’s disturbing. I know lots of kids that still co sleep. I’d say 10 is when it really needs to stop but every parent and child are different. My 9 year old sleeps in bed with me when he is sick but now he doesn’t ever want to sleep in my bed when he’s not sick. Enjoy it while it lasts and let that boyfriend go.

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I dont think its disturbing at all but as some point he needs to sleep in his own bed & he shouldnt be sleeping in the bed with u & your boyfriend. That part is disturbing to me. How long have u known the boyfriend?

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I say get rid of that bf. Your kids are only little for a short time. Your son will grow out of sleeping in the same bed as you soon enough. Don’t let that man guilt you in changing what you and your son have had before he was in the picture.

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I let my 6 year old daughter fall asleep in my bed, then I move her to her bed once she’s asleep

The fact that he has that mind set I would’ve kicked his ass out for his perverted imagination

For your sake, I’d start getting him out of your bed. BUT that is my opinion. I do not think anyone should tell you what to do. With this boyfriend telling you these things, he’s a real jackass. I’d second think that relationship. Those are hateful things to say.

I’d be leaving that guy real quick.

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What I find disturbing is that after a few months, he moved in w you and your son

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My daughters are 20 months and 2 months and both sleep in bed with my husband and i and will for a few more years

There is nothing wrong with co-sleeping with your son! Whats disturbing is the fact that he said so … He is the disturbed one!

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Your son needs his own room yes
So he knows he has his own bed and own space but if he wants to sleep with u that’s where he needs to be but least he has the option
I co sleep as well
You do what u need to do he wants to be a baby about it he isn’t the one bc if he will get butt hurt over something this small he is gonna get butt hurt over other stuff and be argument your whole relationship and can possibly start treating your son different

If he wants to sleep with mummy why shouldn’t he?? Kick that ‘boy’ to the Kirb!! I wouldn’t even have to ask this question he would be long gone… Kids before your boyfriend!. My little girl slept with me untill she was 6 then all of a sudden she didn’t want to anymore, cherish them why there little they grow to fast!! Xx

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My kids 8 and still sleeps with me most nights. I’m good with it. Bf needs to kick rocks

My son is 6 and I’ll be damned if anyone is going to stop me from cosleeping other than he himself smh sounds like you have a bad relationship either way though if he’s acting like that and making fun of you or your child smh you need a man not a jealous abusive little boy

I would send him packing for being disrespectful like that. He is YOUR child, it is YOUR decision. He can suck a butt

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he might be old enough to sleep in his own bed but that’s not the point he finds that comfort you find that comfort that’s your baby. it’s your life and your baby as long as your baby is not in danger by sleeping in your bed then what is the harm in it my oldest didn’t stop sleeping in the bed you would come in in the middle of the night until he was about 12 I have a 5 of 4 and a 3 and a four month old at some point in time they have all been in our bed

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Get rid of the BF… But also for the benefit of the child and you that is something that you need to slowly work on yourself but don’t ever let a man dictate and call you names of any sorts

My oldest slept with us up until my twins were born (20 days after my oldest turned 3). He’s now 8 and has stopped climbing in bed with us, but did that a lot for a while. Twins are 5 and they still regularly climb in bed with us. Sounds like he’s jealous. I think I’d find a new bf.

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My 3 year old likes to sleep with me. My 2 year likes to sleep alone. I’ve lived with my boyfriend the last 18 months and every single night he comes home and moves my 3 year old to her own bed before he goes to bed. It has never been an issue. There has been nights I’ve had both my babies in bed. He’s either scooted us over or fallen asleep on the couch.

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I think ur boyfriend is disgusting… the right man would never get in the way of a mother and her child

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I have no horse in this race my son slept with me until he was a little over 11. I was always paranoid that something would happen at night and I couldnt save him. He sleeps on his own now. We came to a mutually agreement. Hes getting older and wants his space and I’m ok with it. Occassionally he will still sneak and sleep with me. I miss it.

And if he’s calling you and your child disgusting leave take him out

Men come and go. Your son is blood. Let the man go and don’t look back.

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Red flag! There is no shame in this. He needs to understand that you and your child are a package deal. You should transition when you’re both ready. My partner’s daughter is seven and she sleeps with us and in her own bed. Some nights the littles just need extra cuddles like we do as adults…

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Keep sleeping with your son momma he’ll become a age where he decides he doesn’t want to anymore … as for the bf bye son :wave:

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Is this every night or when he has bad dreams? It’s not common for a 6 year old to co-sleep every night, nor is it altogether healthy when it comes to learning how to be independent

But the boyfriend making fun of a 6 year old for whatever reason is a red flag and yes you should dump him.

But then quietly ask yourself, is it REALLY your son that’s not ready or you who might not be willing to admit your baby is growing up

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Mine is 7. Still climbs in with me. Does the same with his dad. It’s a comfort thing. We’re not together anymore so he likes to catch up with the cuddles.

If I had a BF and he said that to me then he can do one. My kid, their happiness and their feeling secure will always come first

I wouldnt be forcing my child out of an established routine that keeps calm to appease my fella. If he don’t get my child comes first he can go elsewhere

Get rid of the bf…

Mine still sleeps with me and he is 5 1/2. Your boyfriend is the disgusting one. Ditch him!

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Just my opinion, I think you and your bf moved WAY too quick. I’ve been with my bf for almost 3 yrs and he’s only at my place on the weekends. My 5 yr old daughter still ends up in my bed, and sometimes my boyfriend would be there when she climbed in. Never has he made me feel bad about my choice of allowing her to climb in, he’s definitely never made fun of us or called it “disgusting”. He does dislike how he ends up falling off the bed because my daughter loves to sleep sideways​:expressionless::rofl::woman_facepalming: but that’s why he only sleeps over on the weekends now because my daughter comes first and that was “her spot” first! Dump the dude before this goes south even quicker than it started​:roll_eyes::roll_eyes:

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My son is 10 and still falls asleep with me sometimes. I’m single tho.

You are going to have to make a choice. Helicopter Mom or Relationship with a real Man. It’s disturbing that you would choose to have your son and spouse(who isn’t the child father) all in one bed.

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Well all miy 5 have slept in a crib next to me from birth, l’ve never had this problem but they have all got in with me at some point, watch a movie or I’ll . I think you boy should have his own bed but don’t deny him a snuggle or comfort , but really he should be in his own bed . Good luck .

Throw the whole man away. He obviously isn’t ready to be with a woman who has a child.

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Don’t question your relationship with your kids. Question your relationship with this d-bag. Move him right back out

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Girl you do what you want an what makes you feel comfortable my son is 14 months an he was a premature baby he has always slept with me an my boyfriend. Dont mind what anyone else is saying that’s your child.

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Kick your boyfriend to the lounge, your son is only 6, it’s very disturbing the your boyfriend would even think that ,but if your boyfriend is going to be sleeping in your bed then u need to get your son to sleep in his own bed , he’s not the father your child should not be in bed with u both

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IMO I would not share the bed with my child and boyfriend I haven’t known for a long time. That is where the issue is to me. Not that he still sleeps with you but I really think it needs to be your son or the boyfriend in the bed not both.

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Their never to old plus you and him have only been together 8months and he lives there a few months already! He has no right to comment on how you and your son sleep in the same bed! And him making fun of you both I’d be telling him to jog on :roll_eyes::roll_eyes:

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My sons are 2 and 5 and sleep with me. My husband works out of town and only comes in to town for the holidays or when he gets a chance. Most of the time we put our 5 year old in his bed bc there’s not enough room in ours. We also put the two year old in his for the same reason bc my husband sleeps crazy. However,they both end up back in bed with us…I say dump the boyfriend!

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I dnt think it’s disturbing he sleeps with u but it’s time to let him be on his own. Sleeping with both of u could be a little weird to him especially cuz that isn’t his child.

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Im not gonna read this. He’s your boyfriend sooo not permanent in your life. Your son will ALWAYS be your son. And it’s not gross or disgusting for him to sleep in bed with his MOM. Kick the boyfriend to the curb since he thinks y’all are so gross.

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He would not be my boyfriend anymore.

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my Child is 13 and still sleeps with me

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Disturbing? No. Do parents take bed sharing to far? Yup. But my kids are safe sleepers so they like there own beds by the time they would be old enough to sleep with us. But if he spending the night the six year old needs to go.

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Personally I think he’s too old but your child your choice.

But my main concern is if your son is in your bed where is your boyfriend sleeping? I hope not in the same bed :thinking::neutral_face:

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I co-slept with my youngest son until he was about a year and a half old. He had some medical issues and I was afraid if he wasn’t next to me I wouldn’t hear him if he needed me. His medical issue cleared up a bit after his first birthday. I then transitioned him to his own bed. I don’t think it’s wrong for him to co-sleep with you. However co-sleeping with you and your bf is a bit weird. I think if you are going to live with the bf you need to transition him to his own bed. Set up a bedtime routine. Take a bath, read a book put him to bed. It will take some time for both of you to adjust. If you are serious about this guy then it has to happen. Him making fun you two is not ok or an adult way to handle the situation. He should have taken you aside expressed his feelings in a healthy way for all involved.

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Sorry I’m with the boyfriend here … do you want this relationship to work? It takes a hell of a man to step up and raise a child that isn’t his so asking for room in the bed isn’t asking for much in my opinion. How are you guys supposed to be intimate with a kid in the bed?

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It’s your crazy bf that needs to be dumped.

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First of all what a nasty comment for him to make. Not a supportive bf. There are other ways

I will add it would be VERY wrong to have this or any new guy just jump in bed with y’all! The abuse number rises with a non parent live in

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Am I reading this right? “As he left me this morning…”
So your boyfriend spends the night, sleeping in bed with you and your son.
At this point, yes, your son needs to be sleeping in his own bed.
I understand co-sleeping with a child, but if men are staying over (and you are having sex with them in the bed) your son definately needs to be in his own bed.
To prevent animosity or jealousy towards the boyfriend, he needs to be in his own bed even when the boyfriend is not there.
Put your child in his own bed, read him a story, even lay down with him til he goes to sleep. If he wakes up and wanders into your room, return him gently to his bed each time. He will be fine.

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Bitch leave him tf. You’re a mother and trust me anyone who would fix their mouth to say some shit like that to your 6 year old and you doesn’t deserve you.

Ditch the dude. He has a good point, however the fact he communicates in this level, is a deal breaker.

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The time is way overdue for you to stop letting the child sleep with you every night. Especially (and I cannot stress this enough) with you and another man, that should never happen. I think it’s ok for the kiddo to have a “special night” that you guys could sleep together maybe once every few weeks though. Eventually he’s going to have to sleep in his own bed. You can’t let him sleep with you forever. I think the boyfriend did the right thing by leaving. You can’t expect a man to be ok in that situation. He’s an asshole though for making fun of a kid.

For everyone saying you think it’s ok for the child to sleep with mom, at what age should he start sleeping in his own bed?

I would say this is a red flag for your boyfriend. If he does not support you and your son’s relationship, then you need to kick him to the curb!.

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I don’t see a problem with the co-sleeping. My son sleeps with my husband and I. He’s only two but still. I think the issue here is that this man hasn’t known your child for very long and feels uncomfortable sleeping in bed with him. I would too. This is something that should have been discussed and decided on prior to him moving in. I would feel weird having a man that’s not his dad in my bed me and my child.

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Get rid of the boyfriend no one come between a mother and her child

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you can keep co sleep with your baby as long as they want to stay with you mama, there is nothing wrong with that at all!

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Hmmmmm maybe instead of worrying if your sons been in your bed too long you should’ve realized your boyfriend moved into your house too soon

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Tell your "man " of 8 months to leave! Honestly some women are unbelievable. Your kid comes first always.

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