Isn’t it his responsibility
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Well it depends on the situation honestly in my opinion. Does your daughter have her dad and family in her life that will get her gifts? Or is she with you full time? & same with his daughter, is she with you full time ? Or is she with her mother and her mother and family will get her gifts? If they both split time between households then they should get the same amount as eachother. If one child is permanently in you custody with no other involvement then i think that child should get a few more presents than the child who has 2 households. That might be an unpopular opinion but its what i think😉
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Wow. Do you love his daughter? I treat my step kids like my own. They all get gifts.
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Why doesn’t her buy the other child more then so it becomes even?! There is not enough info here. My kid’s father has a child with someone else. She does stay here. He gets equal amount of gifts for both girls. Then I get gifts for mine/our. I would feel differently if his other actually stayed here. One yr we had her n her brother (no relations to my child) over to do xmas. I reached out to the mom to find out what the brother liked. There was not gonna be a child at my place watching others open presents. As an on n off relationship I would assume the child does not wake up there at xmas. Unless the child is waking up there xmas morning then no not in the wrong. And if he so badly wants it even he can get more presents for the other
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I get equal amount of gifts bio kids or step kids.
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Both my parents remarried and when Christmas came around my bio mom would treat all kids the same and my dad would spend equally on all grandchildren but my stepmother would buy a lot more for her biological grandchildren. It bothered me so much and my children didn’t understand why were would sit and watch her grandchildren open presents for another 30 to 45 mins. Was the last time we all had Christmas together. Yes the kids notice. Now my father sents us more money for presents without telling her because she is supporting her son and can’t afford that much for Christmas…tried to tell my dad how much he could spend on us meanwhile she pays her sons rent and bills. Personally if it was me I would set aside a certain amount on each child and when you’re with your child alone give her the presents with just you guys there not the other child. The other child will get more presents when shes with her mom for her Christmas time.
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Ummmm yes you are in the wrong. Why are there so many posts about women getting with men who have previous kids BUT they don’t treat them like their own child…?
WOULD YOU BE OK IF A MAN DID THAT TO YOUR CHILD? I don’t think so, grow up. Period. You’ve been with a man for 5 years and he had a daughter before you, he isn’t in the wrong. He is acting like a man. Acknowledge the child and get a simple gift, it doesn’t need to be a million dollars… that kid can tell you don’t care so grow up or stop having kids kuz you can’t treat someone else’s like your own. Your not supporting his whole family if you buy a gift for that child who is APART of YOUR family. Grow up or get out of the relationship and find a man who doesn’t have kids and hope he treats your daughter well.
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Depends do you guys by all the gifts together or do you buy for yours and he buys for his? If you two purchase the gifts together yes you are wrong you should treat them the same, so that his daughter doesn’t feel left out. If you buy them separately I guess he needs to step his game up and buy his daughter more stuff if he’s so worried about it.
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No your not wrong he and the mother should be buying for the child. If you choose to buy her a gift then thats up to you and they should be greatful for anything you choose to buy her.
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Just go shopping together and he can help you buy equal amounts of presents. Problem solved
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Don’t date a man with kids if you don’t want to help take care of them. She’s a kid she doesn’t know any different how can you sit there and have her open say one present and your kid has 12 and not feel shity about that, I’m just saying.
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They all should be fair!!!
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If not married** not opening together. Mind his biz…** may I add
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I would not punish the child. If both were with us on Christmas I’d keep it equal
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Are you guys living together? If so, you should treat the kids equally. I couldn’t imagine treating my (step) son differently than our biological kids just because he has another mom who is also going to buy him something too.
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Shouldbt you treat his children like your own, shouldnt you want to treat them like your own
I’m confused why you are with him if you dont as you are family
They are kids and dont understand so you should treat them equally
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I’ve always been told that if you’re with someone who has kids then them kids become yours too, married or not.
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If they both live with you and get gifts from no one else, and you are acting as her mother than I believe it is wrong yes. If she lives with her mom and has Christmas somewhere else as well then no, you are not wrong.
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If you’re not gonna treat his kid like your own y’all don’t need to even get married or be together at all. Period.
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In my opinion once you decide to live together and be a family you should be buying those things as a couple and it should be even. My opinion anyways. If you want to be a family then treat all the kids the same.
Especially if both kids will be opening presents at the same time.
Long story short dont date someone with kids unless you’re willing to take them on 100% too.
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I’m on his side. I’d dump you in a heartbeat. How horrible those other kids feel is just unspeakable.
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My fiance gets my daughter just as much as he does our son. He chose to be in our lives and agreed that we wont do anything to make her feel jelous or less loved than her brother. Kids get easily jelous when one gets more presents than the other, and christmas is really about them
Why is he even still your boyfriend after 5 yrs if y’all love each other get married then kids would be y’alls problem solved if not then no you are not wtong
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He should be appreciative that you buy her anything.
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Considering you are on and off and not stable then no you aren’t wrong. If you had a stable relationship and were an actual family then yes you would be wrong. I wouldn’t go out and buy a bunch of gifts for a child that isn’t in my life consistantly
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Ok I must be missing something. Where is everyone getting this other kid/s from? It says her boyfriend is jealous that HE didn’t get as many presents as her daughter, and as for extended family 1 little present for the kids is all that’s needed you love them like your own but you didn’t push them out you hoo hoo or have major surgery to bring them here
My stepmother did that to me and I can tell you from experience, that’s a horrible thing to do to a child. It also teaches the other child they’re better than the other. It’s horrible. Don’t be with him if you don’t love his child like your own
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What does you buying the kid Christmas presents have to do with you supporting his whole family? My boyfriend and I buy ALL the kids Christmas presents! You sound like a ass wipe honestly
Does he only buy for him bio children or all the children if he’s only buying for his then just buy for your daughter not your responsibility to be financially responsible for everyone’s Christmas
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If you love your boyfriend and want to be a family with him, you have to love his daughter as you do your own.
I am a mom of two and a step-mom of two. My husband is a father of 3 and a step-dad of 1. We love and treat our kids all the same. Family is family, regardless of DNA.
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My step children (3 of them) don’t live with my husband and i and they get the same amount as my two living with us.
Cant treat the kids the same, kick rocks. You dont deserve those kids if you cant treat them like your own.
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Highly wrong. I can tell you that I am very close to someone that was raised in a split family. There are hard feeling about how the step parent treated them on the holiday. So yes, if both kids are there on Christmas morning and one has 15 and the other has 3, that’s hurtful and will have long last effects on your relationship with that child.
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Stop dating men with kids if you ain’t gonna love them as your own 
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There’s elements here, does this child live in your home and share the unwrapping Christmas morning? If that child lives with you and is going to be unwrapping presents with you all as a family, than I think that’s sad someone in this relationship isn’t making things equal
You , him, her bio momma?
My husband has 3 daughters and we have a son together. I buy them all the same amount of presents or at least spend the same amount of them (ages range from 16 to 4). I have never treated the girls different from our son, I consider them my kids.
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You’re supposed to treat the kids equally. There is no “mine and his”. You got in to a relationship with someone who already had a kid which suggests that you are willing to accept his child as your own. Therefore you treat said child as one of your own.
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Actually they should get the same. Don’t favor your bio kid over your stepchildren. They should be considered yours since u married their father. I find it rude of you to even do such a thing. I have stepchildren but to me they are my children and I treat them the same as I do my bio kids
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Treat his mid like your own. In the eyes of the child, she will know or think you dont care for her as much because your not her birth mother. Get them the sMe amount. Be fair. When you get with a man with children, you take on those kids. It doesnt matter if theres a birth mother in the picture…when that child is with you, you should treat her exactly the same as your own kid. Period.
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Depends. Will his kids be with you christmas morning? Foes your daughter have a big family on her dads side buying her gifts? Cant your husband do his bit and buy presents?
I’m confused - if you’re on again off again, do you have a relationship with his daughter? What is on and off, do you live together, are your kids together often, are you viewed as a step parent?
If it’s a casual on and off thing, you don’t live together, and you and his daughter don’t have a relationship at all, and she won’t be with you and your daughter Christmas morning to open gifts, then I don’t see why you would need to buy the same amount as for your child. If it’s a serious relationship and you have a relationship and she will be present for Christmas then it seems shitty not to do Christmas the same for both girls.
There’s one answer - No.
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It’s Christmas and they are children it’s not their fault that they’re mother doesn’t buy them things for Christmas
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It’s your child, I think your child should get more from you. I’d hate for my kids to think I bought anyone else the same as mine.
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Kids should be treated equal no matter who their parents are. If your goal is not to be that childs parent you should leave the relationship. It’s not her fault she didn’t come out of your womb and you clearly went in to the relationship knowing he had a child.
Get over yourself.
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You should treat both children equally, as he should, too. Imagine being the child who clearly sees the favoritism and who is the one getting the short end of the stick. Imagine the negative lesson you are teaching your own child. Biology has nothing to do with it, if the child is in your life, the child is part of your family.
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How do you think his child feels watching your child open up more presents than her?
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On and off doesn’t matter. Christmas is a time to be spent with family. Whether his kid is yours or not. You’re dating him. Don’t treat his daughter any less than you treat your own kid. That’s fucked up. If you can’t buy her anything for Christmas, then why are you with him??? Idk how old she is, but kids will remember shit like that.
If its a serious relationship, then yes you are wrong imo. All my children (1 bio, 2 bonus) get treated the same.
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Yes buy more for your daughter they are getting from bith side …why should she loose because of that …those kids have 2 parents already dont need you to buy for them not your responsibility
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Yea…you wrong homie
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I don’t think we have enough information here to really decide this issue.
Do you live together? Does he have full custody? What are the children’s ages? By saying 5 years on and off, what is exactly meant by off?
If you all live together, then yes, you should try to get somewhat close. If you don’t, then you only need to get her a few things. Her Mother and Father should be giving her the ‘Family’ Christmas gifts.
I think mostly, you need to decide where your relationship is heading. If you’re in for the long hall, then you should be trying to build a relationship with his Daughter. That would entail as close to equal gifting as you can.
Lastly, if you’re not planning on a future with him, you don’t need to give them all at the same time. If you don’t live all together, then have a group give. Later on, or even before, you can give your Daughter the other gifts.
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So I have a kiddo from a previous relationship and so does my SO. We buy all our presents together. We make them from both of us and do a couple to each kiddo from us individually. If you are combining families and playing house, y’all should be respectful of the others child. The children should feel equally loved by both of you.
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Wtf is wrong with you
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I always bought the same on Christmas and birthdays for my step daughter and my son. But we were a family. It doesn’t necessarily sound like you all are living like a family. You’re on and off? Now as far as the rest of the year she had someone else buying for her, and mine really didn’t, and she had another home and mine didn’t so he got way more than she did.
Nah my kids are getting more toys from me then his daughter is why, because her mother is getting her gifts along with his grandmother her aunts and uncle and himself while my children are only getting gifts from me
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That depends…I think the biggest question is where is the child christmas morning? If you and bf live together and his child is with you guys then you should be helping to make sure the kids all have an equal christmas. If the child mostly lives at moms, wont be over on christmas, etc then no you shouldnt have to equally support the child. Remember tho, that being with him means, at least to some degree, accepting this child as you do your own. So whether it be now, or later down the line when things are more serious, you need to treat her with the same love you do your own or you’ll just be the evil step mom
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If she’s with you Christmas morning, then they need equal gifts. It’s not her fault her mom is a piece of shit.
Kids should be treated equally. Period!
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I always do the Christmas shopping an I have two biological kids an two bonus kids an every Christmas I make sure they have the same amount of gifts almost right down to the same amount of money spent on each gift. I have want them all to feel equal. I feel as mom an “step mom” it’s my job to make his kids feel just as loved as my own kids.
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Ah you got with him knowing he had a child of his own. Kinda messed up
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I dont understand how you can single out a child whether they are yours or not. If y’all have been on and off for 5 years you obviously have a history with this child. We have 5 children…3 of mine are by birth, 2 are by CHOICE! I would never single out my “husband’s children” because they aren’t mine. Even when we were dating and not living together I made damn sure they had a great Christmas and great birthdays. You should be a shamed of yourself for even thinking that child wasn’t worth as much as your own. I hope they never have to be your stepchild.
Think of it from each child’s point of view. Why would you want one to think he or she did something wrong to get less than another? I don’t care what any other adult thinks. You. Your significant other. Any of his family. Any of your family. It should ALWAYS be about those children first and foremost. Treating one better than another by giving them more than another makes the others question themselves.
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Nacho kid. She has two parents to provide for her.
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My bio children only have one Christmas, the one me and my now husband give them. So we do a christmas with them Christmas eve. And we get our bonus kids on Christmas day, so we buy the same amount of gifts and do Santa gifts (family gifts) and stockings with all the kids on that day. Because bonus kids are opening gifts at bio moms on Christmas eve. We feel it is fair. Kids are happy and we are broke 
however, the way you explain your situation goes to show you probably shouldn’t be a step mom. That child’s feelings should always come first, even if she isn’t “yours” she’s a child. Period.
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I mean if the dad isn’t buying gifts for your child and they don’t really have a lot of family to get gifts from then no🤷🏻♀️ it’s your child, but maybe this isn’t the right person to be in a relationship with…
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You know what some of y’all sitting there saying that you wouldn’t buy for the other kid is completely heartless sit there and be that kid sitting there watching another child open up all those gifts and I’m not saying go all out but a little kindness goes a long way a few toys wouldn’t hurt her to buy I mean wouldn’t she want the exact same in return for her child.
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Does his daughter live with you? Do you get his daughter on Christmas day? Are we talking you get your daughter eight toys and his daughter six toys? Or you get your daughter 10 toys and his daughter one toy? Honestly, I think it should be as even as can be but just as he should be helping you buy gifts for your daughter, you should be helping him buy gifts for his daughter. I don’t know how many times This needs to be said, but do not get with a person that has a child if you cannot treat that child as if it was your own. When you date somebody that has a child, you now have a child. Would you buy one of your kids a certain amount of gifts and buy the other one of less? Probably not
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Not at all
If he feels his children need more presents why doesn’t he buy them?
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Is it your money or his? If it’s your money, let him either give you the money or buy his own gifts ! I see too many men living off women and want her to support his kids too.
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From a child’s point of view, which is the only view you should have, shows you are wrong for this. That child wants to be loved as much as your own biological child. There should be NO difference in the two.
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If yall are together and live together i think you should treat his kid the same i have a step son and daughter and they both get the same treatment from me i love them both when you take on a man with a kid you shouldnt treat them any different their kids they dont understand why you treat them differently when it comes to christmas we spend the same amount on both kids its already hard enough on divorced kids they dont need someone tresting them differently because they are not your biological kid
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Well you’re with a man that has a kid. If they don’t physically get the same amount of gifts, do you at least try to match the amount spent on them? That’s like going to the mall with both kids and buying your daughter everything she wants and nothin for his kids. How would you feel if it was your mom and dad and a half sibling of yours and they got all kinds of stuff all the time but you got nothing?
If you get the child for Christmas or even if you buy the child gifts they should get same amount. If your together you should love his child like your own one is DEFINITELY not better then the other. This makes me so sad for his child 🤦
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I mean you are with him so technically his daughter is yours even if she isnt biologically and vice versa. By being with each other, its both if your responsibility to take care if BOTH children and get gifts for BOTH children not just one. If you’re that selfish then leave
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Why doesnt the dad stock up if hes so worried. Or does he expect her to do all of the shopping for xmas.
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When he marries you and the child lives in the same household YES you should make sure they have similar Christmas experiences
I find myself spending more on my bonus daughter oops guess I’m doing it all wrong
If your child and his open presents together, and your child is opening way more presents than his child, then yeah, you’re a piece of crap! How would you feel if the situation were reversed, and this was happening to your daughter? You’d be pissed that your kid was treated like that, as would any decent parent. It doesn’t matter that the child has another parent. You’re an adult and should treat his daughter how you want yours to be treated. I feel sorry for 90% of the kids I see involved in these posts. The parents are selfish and absolute crap!
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Why are you with him if you aren’t accepting the whole responsibility of step mom?
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As the unwanted stepchild do not do that to the child. Spend equally or not at all.
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If yall live together. Yeah I’d be buying presents for her too because that’s messed up. Literally imagine going to your other parents house and having 3 things to open when your “soon to be sibling” gets 20. Its disheartening and will make her resent your child for the years to come. Grow tf up.
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Okay so we’ve never had a set amount of presents we got the kids. I would say it depends on age. Now before I get lynch mobed please let me explain why. Okay so I have a step son who is 16, and 14. We don’t see the 2nd one as much because of issues with the mom. However, with the older 2 they also get more expensive gifts. We still try to get them all around the same amount of gifts but the little kids sometimes get more gifts that might be cheaper. Hope that makes sense. But definitely the kids deserve to be included
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Are you serious? Regardless if the child is yours or not, you should get them the same amount. And he should contribute. Or be done with the relationship if you aren’t willing to step up and be a mother figure to this child.
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I got a headache. What. ???
Who’s daughter is it.
If you have been dating that man that long, whether it be on and off or not you should be treating that child like your own. And if you’re not equipped to carry that “step-mom” role, dont date someone that has children…
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My personal outlook on this is if you’re willing to get with someone who has a child, you are to treat the child like your own. No favoritism. If you’re buying for your own, you should buy for his, too. That’s not fair at all. I can’t leave my stepson out of anything & I have 4 other kids. He is ALWAYS included.
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If you are in a relationship with someone who’s got kids from a previous relationship then they automatically become yours too and you need to treat both girls equally it’s not fair to that other little girl at all and YES YOU ARE WRONG about this situation hun you are suppose to love his child as much as you love yours no matter what and if you can’t do that then you might need a man with no kids I’m sorry if it seems like I’m coming off as rude but I’m honestly not trying to come off ass rude at all all kids need and want to be loved whether be they’re real mom or stepmom it doesn’t matter you should love that little girl like your the one who gave birth to her
Yes that’s wrong, just because she’s not biologically yours does not give a right to show favoritism. She needs your love as well
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Is she living with you does your boyfriend spend the same on your child if the answer is no ,well no you dont
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That’s so wrong and disrespectful in MY opinion. You can do whatever you feel is right for you guys, but if I had a man that had other kids they’ll be treated equal and all get the same amount of gifts.
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If it’s not his kid, nah he wants to buy he can. You have your own to worry about.
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Omg i got a headache from reading this. If you are together and live together then YES get her the same amount of presents. Talk with your boyfriend and see how many presents he wants to get her and match it with the total presents your daughter has. When I get my kids Xmas gifts they are the same price (but different items) and the same number of presents, even make Santa’s gifts the same amount. That’s just fair
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If the tables were turned and his children were getting more, how would you feel? Mmm yeahhhh… you’d be pissed. But you sound like a bitter bitch anyways… sooo… 🤷
It’s not his daughter’s fault that her mom isn’t buying more. If his daughter spends Christmas with you and your daughter, you and your fiancé should be getting the kids both equal gifts.
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In my home my step daughter is 14, my bio daughter is 8. My smallest daughter gets MORE gifts because she’s still into toys, etc. My step daughter gets less things but more expensive things. We set a certain amount each year PER CHILD the same amount for each. Last year my step daughter asked for a flat screen tv for her room (so she got that plus maybe 3 smaller things) my daughter got more gifts to open but we spent the same amount on each child. And they know we spend the same amount. Because we ARE A FAMILY AND EVERYONE IS EQUAL, The day we got married his child became mine and vice versa.
But it also is not just falling on me to buy the gifts, My Husband and I equally purchased gifts.
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Sounds like he’s still a child… move on
In my personal opinion (everyone is entitled to their own, hope everyone remembers this), if this were me in a step-mother role, I would treat all of the children equally, even if they weren’t all my children. I couldn’t imagine being a kid on Christmas morning waking up and seeing my presents being half of the other child’s. Even if I was broke I would always find a way to make things fair for all of the children when it comes to presents.
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Rather or not if you or him are on and off that little girl should be treated as the same as if she was your child. She will notice if you buy her kid more than yours. She won’t understand why and it’s not get fault you and get dad can’t stay together and stop the constant on and off relationship. I’m with him on this .
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Does he buy the same amount of presents for both his and your child? What does he get for his daughter? Surely it is a joint responsibility (if you are together) to make sure the children have the same amount? Why don’t you buy things together for them both? 
What she has from her mother is a separate issue, as it would be from your child’s biological father.
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