Kids should be treated the same
2 Likes
Time to change your relationship status to single hun. Find a man who wont get mad at you for petty little stuff.
2 Likes
Christmas isnât about gifts
I have a grandson who has three sisters, at Christmas I get each of the girls one gift but I buy more for my grandson. I donât feel guilty about it. Itâs the responsibility of the other parent to buy their kids gifts. Did his kids mom buy anything for her girls? Did he buy as many gifts for her daughter then his own?
Not when the other kids want nothing to so with parent til they want money bc there mother dosent allowed him to see him kids
Is this childs mother buying for your child? Probably not get her a gift and if she is at your house for Christmas open the same amount of gifts and save your daughters gifts until the child goes home you are not obligated to fund that childs Christmas
Once you are with someone for a long time children from both sides should be considered equal and be part of the whole family⌠you shouldnât be with anyone that has children if you feel that. Iâve been with my fiance for 7 years. When his daughter use to live in the same state I always included his children even if they didnât goâŚ
Weird he is upset on the gifts you give your child. Weird your financially supporting his family.
I think you need to think about WHY you two are on and off again. If he gets upset now what happens if you have a child with him. Will he get upset your spending more time with the kids then catering to him ?
If you want to spend $500 on your kid and $50 on his do so. Especially, if he doesnât do the same. You are not engaged nor married. He shouldnât have his nose in your finances.
7 Likes
I think when people read these they need to read it as it states. People adding to the story. No where does it say we all live together. We all open gifts at the same time.
It says they are on an off again. She buys for her kid. And supports his family financially and donât feel she should anymore. And he expects her to use her money to buy what he wants.
So to assume she is an awful person or is shoving tons of gifts in her daughterâs face while the other watches is way out there. It doesnât even say if the boyfriend brings his kid around. By her words he seems like a taker not a giver. And she is tired of taking on his financial role.
Whoa hold up! He needs to buy equally!! The other little girls mom is probably spoiling her like you are doing yours. If the child lives with you full time then yes but if not , I donât think you need to feel guilty. And yes I did date and married a man who had other kids. I bought for mine, she bought for hers and he bought for both equally
1 Like
I normally would not say this, but maybe there is something you are not saying. I donât see why it canât be equal. Perhaps best to buy for your child and let him buy for his.
Do you live together? Does his daughter live there too? If yes, then you need to treat the children equally, as I am sure youâd want to the same from him. If youâre feeling this way though, you may want to consider how serious your relationship is⌠you guys share and treat everyone equally or youâre not that all invested and only partially in, in which case is not fair to anyone and you should probably part ways.
4 Likes
Your child has one mother, as do those children. Are there other people buying your child gifts? Does he buy your child gifts? All of these things are factors
1 Like
Youâre not supporting his entire family. But when you got with him you knew he had a child. Therefore that child is now just as much yours and his and the motherâs. How are you going to treat this little girl if yâall get married? How would you like your daughter to be treated by her Daddyâs girlfriend. Sorry not sorry, but you are in the wrong. All youâre showing his daughter is she doesnât matter as much as your daughter. And THAT will stay with that little girl long after your boyfriend dumps you for someone who will treat her like the gift she is. You should be ashamed of yourself for punishing that childâŚcause that is what youâre doing. All because her momma doesnât do for her what you do your for yours.
1 Like
So you buy more for you kid for Christmas than his kid and you all live together? Just trying to make sure I understand the question correctly before I give a opinion.
Children are innocent, although you didnât mention their ages, I feel itâs somewhat cold-hearted to have a ânot my kid, not my problemâ attitude. That poor child. If this is the way youâre feeling already, I agree with what someone said in an earlier commentâŚmaybe you two arenât right for each other. Iâve been married now for 12 years but he came in with 3 kids and I had 2âŚit never crossed either of our minds to selfishly say You handle yours, Iâll handle mine when it came to the kidsâŚespecially when the holidays rolled around. (Our hearts werenât keeping score at such a wonderful time of year, we just wanted to see the smiles on their facesâŚperiod.)
2 Likes
My first concern is the on again off again relationship. Why? What keeps happening that ends the relationship? Does the child reside with you? Does he reside with you? Why is he keeping track of the amount of gifts that are purchased? How many did he purchase? Where is her mother? Does he work?
Thereâs a bigger problem here. Itâs so much bigger than gifts. It sounds to me that you two shouldnât be together. SMH. Stop with this on again off again mess. You two only keep getting back together because youâre comfortable and familiar with one another. You both need to let go and move on.
So yâall are saying that she should buy as much for his kid that is there part time as she does hers whoâs there full timeâŚand the kid wakes up with mom on Christmas morning to get Santa and all of the gifts that you get the morning ofâŚand then go to dadâs and get Jusr ad many⌠How is that fair to her daughter that his ends up getting twice as much because she gets all of the gifts she gets from mom and then from dad. Thats not fair. I say but her a few because by the time she gets to dadâs sheâs all of the Santa gifts will have been opened any way. Shes not going to even know.
So many questions!
Do the bf and gf live together?
Does the bfâs daughter live with them too?
Are they all waking up on Christmas morning and opening presents together?
I think more info is needed before answering this post.
If ALL of those answers are yes, then I think gifts should be equal.
But if not, my answer would probably be different.
(Iâm guessing the answers are not all yes, especially since we are talking about an âon again off againâ relationship.)
- Do yâall live together ?
- Is he paying for them or are you?
This is where I stand on the situation.
If yâall live together and they wake up on Christmas morning at your house, YES they should all have the same amount, but he needs to pay for his children and help shop for them not put it all in you.
If they wake up on Christmas morning at their mothers then come visit yâallâŚas in they get their "Santa " at momâs, then no. They will have qll of their gifts from her and they will also have gifts from yâall. Therefore they end up with more than your daughter. I feel like if they donât live with yall full time then buy them a few gifts. Thatâs just my opinion. He should be the one paying for them though.
do you live together? then they kinda are your kids tooâŚ
Depends. Is he just your boy toy boyfriend, or are you looking for a family and marriage with him? If your looking to have a family and long term, then you should treat both children ( all children ) the same. If he is just your boy toy and dosent live with you, and he is just for fun⌠then a few gifts from you is appropriate.
Straight up I think you both are acting like jerks to children. They are kids not adults. They didnât ask to be in your relationship and itâs Christmas for sake. If you guys canât spend the same amount of money of your kids together or buy gifts together for both your kids if your celebrating Christmas together then whatâs the point of even being together ask a couple. If you want a booty call donât involve your kids at all. Simple. Itâs not supporting them itâs being nice and buying them gifts for a holiday. Damn that just makes me sad.
If you are not willing to love the child or children of your spouse as if they were your own then do not start a relationship with that person. My husband and I married when my sonâs were 1,2, and 3 his daughter was 3 at the time also. We raised them all together as brothers and sister and no one of them was treated any different. It takes a special kind of jealous and spiteful person to hurt a child by constantly being reminded that they arenât yours. And by doing less for her than you do for you children is just that.
I hope you donât become stepmom.
1 Like
i wd just love the look in ur face if he didnt get u or ur kid anythingâŚi hope he dumps u for good or at least leaves u home and goes w his family for xmasâŚ(if ud let him take ur child with him even better) u are a terrible human being if u think that just bcz its his child u dont have to consider his/her feelings! makes me sick! for xmas here at my house we buy equal amount of presents for everyone thats gonna come over thats including adults, let alone a beautiful child that has no fault. u are teaching ur child to be as disgusting as uâŚwhn ur old n crippled thats what shes gonna do to tu. shes gonna dump u somewhere and tell u ur not her responsability
Donât be with someone who has kids (too) if you arenât going to treat them the same, you spiteful fucking cow.
Kids should be treated equal
2 Likes
Not the whole story is what Iâm getting. You sound like a stuck up twat