I had a step brother growing up and it sucked cause he always got more then I did.I felt he was better then all the time.And turned out he thought he was too.Treat them the same
2 Likes
If i date a man with kids his kids ARE MY KIDS
9 Likes
How sad. I donāt think you are step mum material really.
You knew He had kids before you got with him.
Be fair
Kids are kids.
Do for his like you do yours
What if your daughter was treated this way by Her fatherās gf.im sure youād be un happy or if your bf spoilt his daughter and neglected to include your daughter I bet youād be angry
9 Likes
Youāre totally fine. Buy the amount of gifts you see fit for each child period.
3 Likes
I always treat people how I would like to be treated. I wouldnāt buy for one and not another. I believe in equity. If you went to the Fair, would you let your child play a game and not his? I guess itās all about values and what you believe is important to you.
5 Likes
How old is this little girl, i wouldnt want to hurt her feeling cause she doesnt understand, so i would treat them the same .
2 Likes
If the kids are going to open gifts at the same time, you should both sit down and discuss how many gifts to buy the kids so that things are even. He should pay for his kidās gifts and you should pay for your. It isnāt your responsibility to pay all of it.
He is your bf you both have kids they should be treated equally. You signed up for the whole package as did he. Kids pay attentionā¦
1 Like
Does he buy for your daughter? If not then continue on as you are doing but if he buys for your daughter then you should return the favor.
7 Likes
If he doesnāt buy for yours and heās on and off again I donāt see why you need to! He buys for his daughter and you buy for yours until you guys are actually committed for good and you do for each others kids! If you guys are confused or not serious enough to commit than no need for extra stress over Christmas!
2 Likes
If both kids live in the home itās really not right to do more for one you should treat them the same
2 Likes
Every parent that I know does more for their kids thatās how its supposed to be unless the children. Live together fulltime and he again would have to buy for your child!
1 Like
Xmas is for kids, they expect gifts from santa. Label the gifts "from SANTA " dont be selfishā¦youre starting bitterness among the two little girls.
3 Likes
Just as long as you expect him to give you the same treatment and not take financial responsibility for yours either
3 Likes
They all get the same in my house spent on them I couldnt spend less on oneā¦ wether its mine his or both of ours
3 Likes
Omfg you are so gross. Wow.
5 Likes
Put the pacifier back in his mouthā¦ And make him stand in the corner
2 Likes
Hes an on again off again the kids shouldnt even know each other then. None of it is suitable for both kids and his ex and your ex should be saying something to both yall fair enough to play with your own emotions and mental healthbut to put someone they are not bonded with in and out there lifes then sorry but presents shouldnt be you sore point its if you 2 are in a healthy relatiinship why not gift your kids with a relationship to aspire too
2 Likes
This is not a difficult problem. In fact in the whole scheme of things, itās nothing so if you two canāt even come to terms on this you should both just go your separate ways.
1 Like
You should discuss this with your boyfriend, come up with a plan that provides all of the kids the things that you want them to have. Indulge your own child at another time if you want to but why put the kids in a position where they feel that one is valued more than another
4 Likes
No you are not wrong
2 Likes
If youāre living together and in a partnership both of the children are both of your responsibilityā¦ You but the presents together as a couple for the FAMILYā¦ You canāt play favouritesā¦ If youāve taken him on knowing he has children then you accept them as part of your family TOO or whatās the point of even being together
4 Likes
He could buy just as much for his own child as you buy for your own child and then yall buy a few things for eachothers kids. Yall are not married but be fair and also dont let hik expect you to buy and him save his money its what it sounds like.
2 Likes
Your child or not, I was always raised to make it even for all children in the house. Its not their fault and they think Santa doesnāt love them as much
5 Likes
You treat all the children equal
3 Likes
Youāre a disgusting ass human. Wow .
He canāt buy for his? Their Mom gets support? Maybe share Christmas Eve with your daughter and Christmas Day with his included. Just hold a couple presents back for your daughter for when his kids are there.
1 Like
The kid will know u donāt love her the same as ur own and will resent you. Hope ur not playing step mom and making her feel left out. Shame on you. You get both them babies the same amount of stuff. You might as well tell that little girl who isnāt gunna understand why, that you donāt like her. Youāre mean.
4 Likes
If your in a relationship with someone that has kids and you cant treat them the same then you donāt need to be in that relationship ā¦ You going to make those girls bitter towards each other ā¦
8 Likes
If your living together finances shared if both Girls are living with you then they should be treated the same ā¦ if not then why should you buy his daughter the same ask him to pay for his daughter to have the same ā¦
Kids are kids love them and treat them the same thereās enough to go around I. Do and I call them my my kids
1 Like
Boyfriend on and off is the KEY WORD here, sorry, dump his useless a$$ , thereās no committment to you in 5yearsā¦hes not worth your time.
5 Likes
In any situation things should always remain fair among children. They donāt understand the situation. They only see that one child is getting more than the other. However I donāt think your bf should be making you buy everything like itās his kid so he needs to help out if he wants things to be fair. If you buy his kid some gifts then he needs to buy yours some too. Or just go together get each kid the same amount and spilt the bill evenly
2 Likes
Does he do the same for your child?
1 Like
No let him shop for his children.
2 Likes
Break up. No child needs to suffer because you think itās someone elseās responsibility to raise there own child in your relationship (you take on that roll if you get with a man with children) . If you can not except and be prepared to fully love both children even if one is not yours then stay single. To many children already dont get enough and your talking about not buying and will to continue to buy your kid more stuff is a stuck up selfish thing to post. Keep your entitled ass off these post about how you are willing to go out your and are intentionally not going to give a child your full love when you are with someone with a child. All i hear is you are in it for him not his child. Except both or move on you attention seeker. Doesnāt matter if it is the mothers or fathers responsibility, you treat every child the same in a relationship .
She isnāt your step daughter! He wants equal he needs to put a ring on it!
3 Likes
While in a relationship as a family for 5 years all kids are treated equally.
7 Likes
Well said Deneka your great family xx
I really think we need more back story. This can go either way. Me and my step sister were even growing up. But I could see getting both of them the same big things like a bike or an IPod, and getting you child more little things like winter clothes because you have her 24/7 and need those at your house. But just excluding isnāt right. He should be helping with the gift planning and buying though if he doesnāt like how you do it.
Both kids should be treated equally
3 Likes
Iād buy both kids the same ammount of toys and clothes. Whether the kid is mine or not. Why do you feel like you shouldnt buy her something? If you cant treat the other kid the same as you treat yours then dont be with someone that has a kids.
5 Likes
If you are going to have a blended family, then it should be a FAMILY. The children should be equal, not yours vs his. Just because you didnāt give birth to them doesnāt mean you are any less of a mother figure. I feel sorry for your step kiddos. They deserve just the same as yours.
4 Likes
If your boyfriend buys your child the same amount as his own than you should do the exact same for his! Both of yāall should be going in together to make sure both children receive the same amountā¦ if you canāt do that for each other Iād be asking myself if youāre in the right relationship!
4 Likes
I buy the exact same amount for my stepson ( whom I adore) as I do for my daughter . It not your child , my childā¦ they are OUR children .
3 Likes
Daughter first only kids once men come and go ā¦
If youāre this petty & resentful now towards a child donāt hold your breath waiting for a ring on your finger. Youāre clearly not stepmother material. Cut the cord & enjoy your life as a single Mom.
2 Likes
Thankfully my Stepdaughter is grown, but this is one of many struggles I had with my Husband when she was a child. Kids of divorce get a billion Christmases between both houses and then the extended family that comes from having a Mom and Stepdad and then a Dad and Stepmom. Meanwhile, my kids have us and their Grandparents. And yet weāre supposed to spend exactly the SAME on all of the kids. We have 3 biological children together and we donāt even spend exactly the same on them!?! It just depends on who needs or wants what. I mean, I wouldnāt make it obvious that thereās a difference, like maybe do some gifts with your child while your boyfriendās child is at their Momās doing Christmas.
Thereās equal and then thereās fair. I think this is one of those areas where it should be fair, not necessarily equal. I mean, if weāre being equal then the bio kids should get a 2nd Christmas like the step child, right? 
2 Likes
I would say treat the kids the same. Itās not about whose responsibility it is. Itās about making the kids feel happy and loved. Not left out or treated unfairly. Itās not her fault sheās not biologically yours. Does she not deserve as much as your daughter does?
If hes just your on and off boyfriend then I say hell no thatās his and his childās motherās responsibility
3 Likes
Like a lot of people are saying, it depends. We need more information to provide a valid opinion.
1 Like
He should mind his own business with his kid and let you mind yours. The end.
If they are together when opening gifts then they should get the same. But his daughter will get things from her mom too so yāall have a from Mom Christmas too when the step child is not there. Call it what you will but extra Christmas gifts shouldnāt be opened in front of the step child that is hurtful. What would you think if Christmas Eve the childās mom brings over a load of Christmas gifts for her child making your child watch the step kid open gifts from her mom Christmas morning and see how it hurts no matter the words you use it will hurt to live it. Keep it even in front of the kids, do another day just like the step child gets two Christmases.
Both should be treated the same. Shame on you
1 Like
I donāt think you are wrong. I buy more for my 6 yr old grandson because he lives with me.
Whole I reckon you should treat them both the same and equally, I mean id hate it if my new partner did that to my son and Iād also hate it if my sonās fatherās new partner did it to him too. Itās the thought that counts.
Yes you are wrong, you should be getting the kids the same amount of stuff. Shame on you for making a little kid feel unwanted and left out
Are you planning on getting serious with him? If so, yes you should treat them the same. If not then leave it be.
WOW thatās kinda rude itās not the child fault kids didnāt ask to be born
I totally understand the people saying that you should treat his children as your own. I really do. Its not the childrenās fault and it would be upsetting to hurt their feelings. Iām just gonna put another view out there. I donāt have a blended family so maybe thatās why I think the way I do. But I struggle to my kids what the need/want for Christmas. Buying for others takes away from my own children. My kids come first. So I can sympathize with her struggle.
1 Like
Im.with Brittany Holmes on this one. When your with someone with kids and you bring in kids they should all be treated the same. No child should feel less than when it came to love.
15 Likes
My kid isnāt going to go without for a boyfriendās kid. If he wanted you to be her step-mother heād marry you. Until then I wouldnāt sweat it. You keep on doing you.
6 Likes
Depends on age but kids should be treated the same. Heās her father and he should buy for her or give you the money. If its a on n off relationship keep it off
9 Likes
Very wrong. If you canāt treat his child equal then you should not be in a relationship with him. When you get in a relationship with someone that already has a child it becomes your responsibility
Children should always be treated the same in my opinion. Does he do the same? How would you feel if he did treat your daughter as less?
6 Likes
Honestly thatās not your child he should put in as well. I do the same with my boyfriend. Iām sorry but I have my kids and my kids only to think about. Thatās my opinion.
4 Likes
Does he buy your daughter anything? Why does it even matter what you spend on your child? Just like you buy for yours he should do the same for his.
4 Likes
Yes you are! They should be getting things equally wether itās your kid or not.
3 Likes
Yeah itās wrong. When you got with him, you knew she was part of the deal. Be fair. She canāt help she has a different mom. Kids donāt see it like that.
4 Likes
I think it depends greatly on your relationship and many other factors. If yāall live together and share expenses both or all kids get equal amount and obviously both should be paying for it. If you dont live together and its more off than on and he isnt helping financially. Give your kid what you want and give the other what you want to give them. But if they are opening up presents at same time and the presents are from both adults it needs to be the same amountā¦ If not doing christmas together and having seperate times the other child wont know any difference I less your bio kid tells them all they gotā¦ I would end up getting all equally but thats just me and I am big on kidsā¦ Plus the amount of presents arent everything so if a kid gets less one year to make sure another kid gets something im okay with that but like i said depends on so many things and how yall handle it
1 Like
Kid should be treated equal. They didnāt ask to be the center of this subject. Making a child feel less than is a terrible thing.
3 Likes
Then you can not be mad if he does not buy for your child.If you wanna buy for your and he buy for his then his money should not go towards your child. I personally think that is childish.if i was dating someone and it was serious like this sounds like it is then we buy for our kids.If i am gonna play house then i need to treat your child like i do my own.There should not be any difference made.Kids cant help what adults do and they sure as hell should not be treated differently.Just my opinion!
All the people on here saying this lady is right and that the boyfriend needs to grow up need a reality check. First off, donāt be with someone who has kids if you arenāt willing to love and treat their kids as your own. Secondly, you have to be a special kind of ignorant to think itās ok to make a child, who didnāt ask to be in this situation, feel like they are any less than than the other kids around. And last, how would you feel if your exes new girlfriend treated your kids that way? Or your boyfriend for that matter treated your kids that way? Hopefully you wouldnāt like it so why would you treat his kid like that? My boyfriend, who is not the biological father of my kids, has treated my kids like his own, without question since day one. He has set aside $500 for their Christmas so far which is more than Iāve set aside for them. He doesnāt nor would treat them any differently than his own daughter. Thatās how a relationship with someone who has kids from a previous relationship works. Parents are a package deal.
37 Likes
If yall are living together u should get ALL the kids the same amount of gives. Itās not fair to the other children especially if u are living with ur boyfriend and he is supporting u and ur child.
1 Like
His responsibility. Why should you finance his family
1 Like
U donāt want kid to feel like u love them more than oneā¦treat same but he also should do same both ways
1 Like
Iām just going to put this out hereā¦if you chose to be with someone that has children, you should treat them with the same love and respect that you treat your own. If your childās father had a SO, would you want them to treat your child the same or would you get mad if you found out yours was being treated differently?
21 Likes
Kids are kids. They donāt know anything but one gets more then the other and that hurts their feelings. I would make sure to split even 
6 Likes
You are 100% wrong!!! No that child might not be yours, but she didnāt ask for any of this either. If the tables were turned and your daughter was getting the short end of the stick, Iām sure you and her would both be upset. Just because her mother isnāt doing her part doesnāt mean that you fold. #FairIsFair
4 Likes
You are SO wrong! When you date someone with kids you date them too. Treat them the way you want him to treat yours.
10 Likes
If you are all living together and/or expect him to treat your daughter like his family you should treat them the same.
I agreeā¦ both kids should be treated and bought for equally.
8 Likes
If you are living together they get the same, period. So yes buy his kids just as much as you do yours if you live together. All you are doing if you donāt is cause problems between your child and his kids.
6 Likes
Dont be together during presents if the kids cant be treated the same. Just eat together they dont need to open things together.
1 Like
In all honesty if you are with him you should care for his kids like your own. You should treat them all the same. Which means be fair and equal when you buy gifts. If it were the other way around and your boyfriend treated your child how youāre treating his how would you feel? Theyāre just kids. If you dont want to treat them like youāre own you shouldnāt be with someone that has children. I have 8 and only 5 are biologically mine and I take care of all 8 like my own.
1 Like
These comments are as if they are married and the child is her step child. They are boyfriend and girlfriend OFF AND ON so take care of your own and if she is compelled to buy her something then by all means but if he is demanding it he can move on
1 Like
So you are shacking up I take it. Are you using his money to buy the presents or your own?
1 Like
I buy mine alot more than my step kids BUT mine ONLY have me to buy for them and his kids have grandparents on BOTH sides that buy em stuff. He buys mine 1 or 2 things i buy his one or 2 then I have to use the majority on mine because like I said they have ONLY ME. If I didnt they would end up with so much less when its said and done
No youāre not wrong
If heās upset with that then he can buy her gifts like he is supposed to
Now if itās the kid getting upset thatās different
No child should be left feeling like they are lesser
But if itās just the dadā¦oh please
Be more on than off and then maybe sheāll buy your kid stuff at the same rate she does her own
1 Like
i have kids froma lrevious relation ship so does my husband we have one together all of my kids get the same amount of stuff
1 Like
It is different if the child lives with yall but if she lives with her mom then you have a responsibility to make her feel loved but from your own heart not someoneās demand
It is not your responsibility to ever put any man before your child and it is his responsibility to buy gifts for his daughter. Not saying you shouldnāt buy anything for her but you dont owe anyone but your daughter it is why they call him a Boyfriend .
Both should have the same amount of presents
She us not saying fiance she is saying BOYFRIEND there is a difference no matter how you sling it. If they are living together then yes they should all share the love but if not then she really has but one child to think of
1 Like
I have 3 biological grandchildren & 1 non biological granddaughter, (my sons ex girlfriends daughter from another relationship) We buy all 4 of them equal things, itās not fair to do for some & not all,no child deserves to wake up on Christmas to nothing.
Also, if you cant acpect his child, you shouldnt be with the father.
Iāve been with my so for 11years, he isnt not related to any of my children nor grandchildren & I assure you, my kids,only know that because of the birth record, our grandchildren have no idea, & thatās how it should beā¦in my opinion
Look I get my step kids shit for Christmas they are ungrateful for anything I ever do for them they they cry to there moms and get better stuff so I save my money and get my kids stuff and not his they wernt even grsful for money thru said it wasnāt enough
If we aint married im not obligated to do shit for ur kids be grateful i do anything for em cuz i got my own to do for so heās wrong for getting upset. But ur character as a woman and mother should be to treat children fairly even if that means making her dad give u money for her gifts so they can feel equal.
5 Likes
I treat my grandchildren and step- grandchildren the same.
3 Likes
Youāre right, heās wrong. He needs to buy for his own daughter
3 Likes
Your boyfriend needs to grow up!
2 Likes