So not sure how to phrase this or even ask, but I have an almost three-year daughter, who’s biological father left us when she was five months old. When she was ten months old, I got a boyfriend and have been with him ever since, and she calls him “daddy” and everything. He had been there for us for everything. He let us move in with him, and I quit my job to stay home and raise her, the whole works! I couldn’t ask for a better father for my baby girl. But… her biological dad had gotten her almost every other weekend since she was 10 months old, he’s remarried and adopted a child of their own, and a month ago up and moved 9 hours away… and he and I have never really gotten asking at the co-parenting thing, we hardly agree on anything… and most of the time I will only tell him stuff about her when he asks. I wish I could say he’s done the same for me, but he hasn’t… anyhow, yesterday was Halloween, and I sent him a couple of pictures of my daughter in her Halloween costume, my current bf seen it on my phone and told me I broke his heart by doing that. Says that her biological dad doesn’t deserve that, that I should never even send him anything about her unless he asks… in which he’s been moved away for exactly a month now and only asked about her once… I sent him the pictures honestly to clear my conscience, so in the future no one can say that I kept her from him, and she’ll know when she gets older that I didn’t keep her from him, that it was him who chose to leave… so my question is, should I have or should I have not sent those pictures to him without him asking about her first.
It was a cute photo and you wanted to share. It is ok to do that.
You were kind and the bigger parent to share a picture of her.
If he didnt ask i wouldnt have done it no… I agree qith him… On this one.
Be the bigger person. Always. No matter what. Your child deserves it.
You’re bf needs to MAN UP and GROW UP … Good for you for being the bigger person !!! Mad props to you regarless of the baby daddy situation … … #PettyAintPretty
From your bf’s perspective I can see where he’s coming from. I would say he probably feels like he has been her dad so why should this other guy be ‘entitled’ to anything just bc he donated sperm. It may make him feel like in some way he’s not good enough. But having been in your position I understand that you aren’t trying to make him feel that way. You are simply trying your best to not be “that mom” that purposely breaks a bond between child & parent. I don’t think you did anything wrong but maybe you should talk with your bf & help him understand that you do acknowledge his feelings & empathise but that you aren’t trying to make him feel ‘less’ in any way, simply trying to ensure at the end of the day you truly have done all you can to allow a natural relationship between you daughters dad & her. Whether the biological dad chooses to nurture it or not.
No you didn’t do anything wrong. I do the same thing with my ex. And the bio dad actually has been pretty involved so he should get a cute holiday pic. He stepped into this situation he should understand there is a another man who has claim to that child too
That was good of you. My husband told me to send photos to my sons bio dad.
You never wanna be able to say you didnt do everything you could. His relationship with her is not your responsibility, but you being kind is. That was kind. I’m sure daddy is hurt and he will live. He is her daddy and just wants to protect her. 
Well then I get rid of him if he cant be a adult about co parenting with ur ex
It’s up to you not your boyfriend, as much as he’s her father figure she has a father that does sometimes ask about her weather he’s moved away or not, you feel good for doing it don’t let anyone make u feel rubbish for it!
I would of done it I can see where your boyfriend is coming from in a way because he sees it as he’s the one that’s there not your ex now days BUT…because your ex wasn’t just a dad that didn’t care from day one he’s actually been getting her every other weekend and has been in her life as well so it’s different circumstances so weather your bf likes it or not she has two daddies and that’s just the way it is I wouldn’t let any man come in between her and her daddy’s relationship and neither should you 🤷
And when your kid asks about it later in life you can always say you tried. That’s important too.
I would not. If he doesn’t care care enough to inquire , I would not make an effort.
I always send updated pictures to my son’s father. It does not need to be more then just sending a picture and him saying thank you. Your boyfriend needs to understand that even tho hes her father figure atm… she still has another father.
Girl you did nothing wrong. Sounds like he’s trying to control the situation.
Absolutely! Never take a child from its other parent. They will do the damage themselves and your little ones will never be able to say “you wouldn’t let me be in his/her life”. This is coming from personal experience my kids figured it out by time they were 9. As for your new boyfriend, I understand his feelings but that little girl knows he loves her and who has been there for her
Its not your job to force your childs father to be a part of her life. Im with your husband on this. If the dad isnt going to put im effort then dont try and force it…its his loss and it sounds like your daughter has al the love she needs
Send the pictures. Explain to your boyfriend why and hopefully he’ll understand. It’s just like sending a wallet of school pictures you send to relatives your child hardly sees
I see both sides and agree with both sides. You can show your daughter you tried…end of story
You did nothing wrong.
I used to send pictures and updates to my daughters biological father, I was desperate for HER dad to be in her life even though I had a very loving man who had stepped up and helped me raise her because her biological father never made an effort to be her dad. He eventually moved on and remarried after NO contact for 3 years we ended up in court w me trying to get him to sign his rights over to my husband so he could adopt her, bio father used every bit of updates and pictures I ever sent him against me and we lost the court case. I now send my 6 year old to a house of strangers at which she gets so upset because she has to go.
I thought I was doing the right thing by keeping her in his life but he never wanted her in his until it came to impressing his new family.
So if he doesn’t WANT to be in her life, don’t push it on him. You will eventually get fed up and he will be able to use ALL the effort YOU made to help him be involved in the child’s life against you.
Always send pictures. I’ve had that happen to me and yet it’s the worst feeling in the world. No matter what he has done or you have done he and you still deserve to see pictures of your own children. What’s the harm done?
I can understand him being upset, but, at the same time I can see your side of the issue. You can’t force someone to be a parent. If he wanted pictures, he’d ask for them. My boyfriend also stepped up to be the dad my girls didn’t have. Their bio dad only sees them when he wants to. In fact, he bailed on them this weekend…again. Your boyfriend is her daddy. The other guy is just clutter, in my opinion. Stop all contact with him, give it a couple of months. You’ll find that he will not even give that baby girl a second thought. Cherish the one who stood up when the other wasn’t man enough to. You have a real gem there. Good luck and best wishes!!
You both should be glad the child has a father that cares for child. Soo many just take off and never look back
I would’ve at least run it by the boyfriend first,
Tell your boyfriend to grow up. You did nothing wrong.
I would’ve at least talked to him… …the whole thing is hard… I know. It is nice of you to do that. At some point we need to make sure we feel good am.not our position. I’ve done the same thing… my daughters dad is just to busy to care but it makes me feel like i’m doing the right thing… I always make sure my husband knows tho and explain why… I feel we both get a say. My husband would never say no tho
You and your fella have serious issues. How to confuse your child 101, second hand toxicity right there.
I don’t know bout having to ask, but letting him know your feelings as to why you feel the need to send the pictures (communication) I would feel would be best. But everything happens for a reason, sucks he was heartbroken but atleast now you’ve had the conversation, next time talk to him first, to him that’s his babygirl and to the other it’s almost like she’s just carrying his DNA 
You didn’t do anything wrong. Break his heart or not, she still has a biological father
My ex didnt ask for a pic of my 12 yr old for halloween but i sent him a few anyways. He gets her on the weekends and he sends me random pics as well. Youre trying to co parent and there is nothing wrong with that. Even if you do more then the father does it shows your heart is in the right place and yoyr doing what you think is right for your child. Have a talk with your hunni about it because you need to let him.know you also do respect his feelings but you will continue to try n co parent with the babys father n next time youll be sure to just let him know first. Regardless if your now boyfriend has been taking care of you guys your child is still entitled to know of her real dad. Believe me it will help with your kids not resenting you later because you at least put effort into it. Best of luck to you.
At the end of the day that is still her dad and he was in her life from 10 months until recently. You did nothing wrong.
Id wait till he asks.your thoughts should be with your current family if he cant take 5 min to ask what shes going to be for halloween etc he doesnt deserve a second to send a picture.
We have custody of my husbands 5 1/2 year old great nephew. We’ve had him since he was 2. I post pictures on Facebook for the parents and the rest of the family. They in turn copy the pictures and post them on their pages. It’s so much easier then trying to do everything individually. They don’t come around or call so I do it this way. When he’s older, he will see that we were open and honest with them.
He’s your boyfriend you don’t have to ask him shit you do what you feel is right if he can’t except it tough shit!
he doesn’t deserve a picture. give one to your your boyfriend [to daddy]
I wouldn’t have even bothered sending them , if he cant ask about his kid then he doesnt need pics or an update.
I can see your BF pov.
I understand both sides. He’s raised her so he feels hurt but also that’s her biological father and it’s the right thing to do even if he doesn’t ask for pictures or updates. Maybe try to talk to him and explain why you sent them. Let him know it doesn’t make his role any less important and let him know how great of a father he is. It may just make him feel insecure a little. I think a reassuring talk could help and letting him know that you send them bc you feel it’s the right thing to do.
I started letting my daughter see her father again after 5 months. I won’t go into detail but it got ugly and unsafe for either of us to go around him. Now, he’s sober and looking for a job. I’m not doing it for him because he wants to see her, I’m doing it for her because she deserves to see her parents try to make it work for them. As they get older they’ll see the truth, they’ll know who was really there and who wasn’t. I can understand your boyfriend’s POV but it’s not up to him to dictate whether your daughter has any sort of relationship with her biological dad. Keep sending pictures & giving updates because you’re doing the right thing!
While I understand his frustration, hes overreacting , you are a good mother and that’s why u did that.
You can’t force her real father to be in her life, he’s the one that moved away so don’t seem like she’s very important to him. Your bf now has stepped up to the plate and seems like he’s doing a great job by loving her and excepting her so I just wouldn’t call her real dad or send pics or anything, if he wants to know anything about her he’ll call. In the long run your daughter’s going to remember who was there for her and was daddy so just let it go.
Boyfriend needs to step off. That’s bio dad whether your daughter calls him that or not. And. Like you said. You’re also covering your ass in the event bio dad wants to start shit and say that you keep him out of the loop.
Bf is either being controlling (problem) or just needs to gtf over it.
I personally wouldn’t send her bio dad anything
sounds like she has the father she needs, if he reaches out and supports his child,(financially and emotionally) respond but if not : he doesn’t exist
I would just say that that I’m a step parent and the only way to make it work for everyone is to have full transparency. Just learn for next time to tell him what you’re doing and why you’re doing it. It’s very hard when you love a kid as your own but they are not entirely. You feel left out even when you shouldn’t. He missed out on ten months and knowing her now, it hurts that he missed out on time he could have had while the dad clearly doesn’t care. Sometimes it’s more annoyance for the child because he doesn’t want to see them get hurt. Just be transparent with him and always communicate. He obviously loves both you and that little girl so be understanding. Just talk and figure it out with him!
The biological dad left you. Not your daughter. You stated that he still sees/saw her on weekends. That happens in regular divorce situations.
You are seeing things from your boyfriend and your perspective. And while it’s nice that he “let” you guys move in and he cares for you both, she is aware of her biological father. And her “step” father. Do you think it maybe hurts bio dad that you have his daughter calling your boyfriend daddy? What if it doesn’t work out? There is more than just your and boyfriend perspective that matters.
It is a lot of pressure for you, but your daughter is who really matters.
It’s a picture. He’ll be around her whole life. Boyfriend has to learn to cope.
You did nothing wrong, your bf I the one who is wrong. Your thoughts are correct that the ex cant say you kept her from him as you are trying to coparent. In the long run when and if things wind up back in court, you have proof that you made the effort to include him when he didnt. I’d say unless dad tells you to stop then keep doing what you feel is right.
I agree with your boyfriend 100%. He’s earned the role of daddy.
I think what you are doing (sending the picture without prompting) is appropriate given the circumstances.
Im going through the same kind of thing. Although he plays the part of her dad He is 100% not her father. It is up to you and her actual father what happens. You live your life. Either this other guy will realize hes in the wrong or he wont. You cant change men especially those who dont have children of their own. They dont fully understand why we cant just not communicate with the other parent
I think it was a decent thing to do, it is making a good step in the right direction for co-parenting. I could understand if he wasn’t involved with her but he’s been getting her every weekend(before he moved). That is her father and there was no harm in sending pictures of HIS daughter to him.
Yes & No. I get it in both sides. But the biggest picture here is that the biological dad felt comfortable enough to get up & move 9 hours away from his daughter with his new wife & newly adopted child… How did that help your daughter any … If he wanted to keep a a strong bond with her No Job, No Marriage, No other Child would come in between that. Im not saying that people cant move… but, there’s no way on God’s Beautiful green earth would I ever move 9 hours away from my child… Yes the Dad has a new Life now and he didn’t put your Daughter and her needs at the top of that list… Your Bf is right… See what this man is going to do and how much effort he puts in to trying to maintain a healthy relationship with your Daughter… its up to him not you… Don’t stop him BUT don’t do it for him either… The ball is in his court to keep up with her ( he moved) not you …
Does he deserve it? Probably not. But this isn’t about feelings. This is about co parenting. Be the better person. It’s an example for your kid.
I def see why he is upset.
No offense but unless y’all are married he has no legal right whatsoever over what you do with your child. He stepped into the father role but he has no legal rights as he is not her father. It’s ultimately your daughter and therefore your call to send whatever pictures of her to whomever so long as the pictures are appropriate. Boyfriend needs to stop being insecure because its illogical in all senses. The bio-father doesn’t live around yall, He’s remarried and adopted a new child, and barely asks about the original child in question. Sorry but having a problem with a father receiving halloween pictures of his child is not a reason to be upset.
U didnt do anything wrong.i get where the bf is coming from but if that biological father isn’t trying to be a part of your child’s life I wouldn’t go out of your way to help him be involved.i been going through a similar situation myself.
If he is paying child support, damn right I would expect a picture. Unless or until he gives up his rights as a parent, which doesn’t seem to be the case, you BF is going to have to understand that there is co parenting involved.
Sounds like you broke his heart. Her dad moved and adopted a new kid. Sounds like she’s not in the picture in his life. Boyfriend is the father she needs. My husband would be very upset if I did this too.
Don’t send anymore unless he asks, but keep a file for him and your daughter just because she will want to know if you at least were prepared for him to ask.
I say no. I can understand why it hurt your bf. And you need to do what’s right for your current bf, daughter and you. Not just what makes you feel better. He chose to leave and come back and now he has left again. He wouldn’t get anything from he even when he asked. Don’t try to force her on him. The man who has loved her and been there for her is her dad. Good luck.
Does the bio dad send financial support for the daughter?
Honestly why bother with the drama. If he’s that insecure tell him move on. That’s still her father regardless who is there more. You sent him a picture that’s it. It’s called being nice and being reasonable. That little girl will grow up knowing who has been there and who hasn’t. You may never see eye to eye with anyone but that doesn’t mean stoop to a low level yourself. You shared a picture and I’m sure he enjoyed it leave it at that. Everything doesn’t need to be dramatic. He still seen her til he moved away. Maybe shit happened you didn’t know about. That’s none of your concern. Just allow him to be there when he is, talk with him about what’s going on with her, and keep him informed even when he doesn’t ask. No point in being petty.
Its just a picture. No harm in that.
I think you should’ve told him first. You’re partners and he’s very involved.
I look at it as you are the better parent and try to do what’s best for her and it’s showing by including him on things and he can’t later she never did and show me my child.
Your boyfriend is being petty
My daughters father didn’t want children,I did , he didn’t visit, pay support or have any say in her raising But I sent pictures and updates, and now she’s adult and they have a relationship.
Lol going through the same thing. That’s still her dad. Sorry. Your boyfriend has no say in it. It’s between you and her real dad. Not him. He is going to have to get over it
From a man in the exact situation, my oldest was 6months when I met his mother. He just turn 12 last month. In my case sperm donor had a chance around 2 years of age an all he wanted was to try an get with Mom. Nothing since. But if your ex doesn’t try an your daughter calls boyfriend dad then it’s not you who needs to feel good about what your doing that’s best for your daughter. It’s her sperm donor that should come around on holidays if he wants pictures he made the choice to move away not you. Your boyfriend has every right to feel hurt because in his mind he done all this to be the best father he can and be your S/o. It’s a slap in the face to know you want him to be the father figure that’s physically there everyday but your sending him things he chose to miss out on.
Every situation is different. Take mine for example…for the first 5 years of my sons life I did everything. I out all the effort in to making sure my son and his biological father had a relationship. Same with all his gfs. They were the one to talk to me and make sure they get to see my son on their weekends. Which I was always ok with. He never willing paid child support, hes on a program for that, but he always got to see his son. After 5 years of me putting in all that effort, me calling him, me sending messages, me trying to figure out what his number was when he changed it. I got so so tired of doing that, I gave up. I thought if he really wanted to be in his sons life he would put in effort as well. I met my now husband when my oldest was 4. At 5 my son asked to call my hubby “dad”. Hes been there for our son since. The ex hasnt talked to his son since he was 5. Called once on his 10th birthday and haven’t heard since. I have now given full responsibility to my 11 year old on whether he wants to talk to his father or not. (By the way he wont call his dad “dad”, my son has decided to be on first name basis with his father.) He decides on whether or not he wants to talk, I won’t ever force him. Hes old enough to understand what’s going on.
Do what you feel is best for your daughter. If you notice a drop in communication, don’t stress, if he wants to be in her life he will be. If not, that’s on him, just make sure you cover your end if you ever change phone numbers or addresses. Make sure to let him know what they are, that way he can’t come back at you and say you kept her from him.
Like to add, my number hasnt changed in 8 years, his number has changed so much, I wouldn’t even know how to get a hold of him in an emergency, would have to go through his mother, which is a huge huge active part of my sons life. So much that shes grandma to my youngest baby lol
You’re right. The man is still her father. Until he gives up rights to her, that door is open, as it should be. In a coparenting situation, everyone, even the people who stepped up and stepped in, needs to put their feelings aside for the sake of the child. And everytime anyone allows their feelings to dictate a decision that leads to some kind of exclusion, of any person in this child’s life who is even remotely able or willing to love her now or in the future, is wrong.
I understand where he’s coming from. He’s the one that’s been there since she was ten months old. I agree with him to not send any pics or anything unless bio asks for them. It’s not your job to reach out to dad to make sure he’s being dad. That’s his job. If step dad is doing a good job with her then I’d leave it like that. If you want to what you ought to do is print actual pics of her every few months or so and put them in a Manila envelope and if dad ask for pics just mail that batch to him and then start a new envelope. If daughter eventually asks about it, you’ll have an envelope full of pics etc to show her that you’ve been saving for him.
Unless the father gives up rights hell always be there. New boyfriend needs to learn to deal with it.
It was very nice of you to send those pics don’t let your bf make you feel bad.
Is he paying child support, if not then get it, not fair to the child, if he wants to be a dad, be a dad and support his kid.
Bio dad deserves a picture of his kid. Especially if she was going to him every other weekend.
No you should not have sorry
I would do whatever is best for my child. It sounds like your boyfriend is what’s best for her. I don’t agree that he should be mad that you sent him a picture but he’s only human I guess. I understand wanting her real dad to be involved but you can’t force it if he’s not Interested. I don’t think there’s any right or wrong here. It’s not black and white. Maybe you and your boyfriend just need to have a conversation about it and decide what is going to work.
You have something great! The father who left doesn’t deserve any of your effort for you to make him want to be a dad. You just have a big heart and probably wanted him to see his baby girl dressed up for Halloween but it’s his loss. If he asks yes send him stuff but honestly focus on your family. Your daughter has everything she needs from you and your bf, clearly. As soon as you realize that this will no longer be an issue for you .
Just a comment to those who’ve said that he hasn’t been involved in her life- did you miss the part about him having her every other weekend since she was born?? And he’s only been gone a month? A month does not seem that long when he has just moved and is adjusting to a new situation. She wont notice or feel bad at this age. And it should be all about her wellbeing.
As a single mother who raised a son after his father left when he was 6 months old and didnt make any effort to be directly involved in our son’s life- I still showed him pictures the few times he asked. (This was before cellphones so I couldn’t have just sent them by phone). I also NEVER bad mouthed his father despite him having cheated on me and leaving for someone else. Bad mouthing a child’s other parent strongly damages the child’s self esteem. Especially as she gets older, dont make comments to her about what a rotten father he is for not being around more. I will only make her feel abandoned and she will assume that its somehow her fault no matter the real reason is. (I’ve been a family therapist for more than 20 years so I’ve seen this first hand). When my son was older, I let him decide whether he wanted to reach out to his dad and try to establish a relationship. He did when he turned 17 and then was able to form his own opinion. My job was just to be supportive no matter how it went.
Your child is not a possession. Your boyfriend cannot ’ ‘own’ nor demand your daughters feelings about her bio father. That’s between them. If sending pictures encourages him to stay connected to her, that benefits her and doesn’t take anything away from her relationship with your boyfriend…
I wonder if part of his complaint is more about you having made the effort. Maybe he’s actually jealous that you reached out and thinks you’re still feeling the need to maintain a personal relationship for your own sake.
Either way, I applaud you for not being spiteful. If he decides to stay uninvolved long term, then yes, stop sending them unless he asks. Or only maybe send them on special occasions like Halloween in her costume, Christmas, birthdays etc. This is really about your daughter and her potential long term relationship with her biological father. Not about your boyfriend’s feelings. Though it is important for you to acknowledge his feelings, it’s up to you to decide these things.
As a footnote- even children who are adopted or totally abandoned by a parent will usually wonder, even in adulthood, why they weren’t good enough for either parent to stay around. This happens even when a parent dies. A child can not distinguish the reason from how they feel about themselves. For example: a child whose parent has a drug addiction will ask themselves why the parent didn’t love them enough to get clean.
I know this is a really long comment but I feel very strongly about this issue from a personal and professional perspective.
You 2 need to talk.
You actually did the right thing. You were the bigger person. Your bf’s issue is what he has to fix, for himself.
Like it or not, your daughter has 2 father’s. He has to step back, at times, and butt out.
As a step parent married to a step parent, sometimes we have to realize, it’s simply not our business.
I would and have also sent the pics… it is nice to let the other parent know how their child is doing, as well as a little snarky to let them see how well your child is doing without them. That YOU, are a capable involved parent and maybe that will make him step up his game and want to be better. I understand your boyfriends hurt feelings, but he needs to understand the relationship between father and daughter. He gets to be with her everyday, her bio dad gets the occasional photo. He is the winner here. The boyfriend… not the dad
I can see where your boyfriend is coming from. That fatherly instinct of wanting what’s best I’d kicking in. I also understand where you are coming from. If the dad doesn’t seem to put in the effort than I would not either. The phone goes both ways. If he says ‘you never tell me about her’ well has he asked about her? Checked in her? I honestly think you should have a sit down with the boyfriend and ask him exactly why he felt that way and tell him why you did it. Be honest. You got this momma
I can understand the hurt but I don’t agree. My bf has been the main father figure in my sons life since he was 8 and he is 16 now. I do send his bio father pictures and updates tho. When this same topic came up yrs ago I told my boyfriend that while yes I send info to the bio dad the bio dad knows who and what he is, a shitty dad…and he also knows that my son is the smart well mannered young man he is because of my bf.
I get ur bad. He’s hurt and a bit jealous as well. He’s been there through everything and bio dad has not and he feels like bio dad should make the effort first. Let bio dad reach out first. Since if has been there since babygirl was a baby how about u ask him if he would like to legally adopt her as well. He sounds very protective and he may feel a bit more secure knowing all his efforts and love isn’t going in vain for another man to claim he is the dad. Bio father and daddy are very different things
Sending him pictures doesnt take anything away from you or her stepdad. He needs to grow up.
So He Was In Her Life and Just Left ? No
I’m all for Fathers’ rights, but in this situation I think you should provide information only when asked. Give as much as he is giving. You didn’t really say what the plan is now that he’s 9 hours away, so I’m assuming he’s not seeing her. He is the one who moved away, not you. Make sure he always has your current phone number and leave it at that. If he asks for an update, or to see her, provide it. If he’s silent for a month, stay silent.
Your SO sounds like a great guy and a great role model in your daughter’s life, but he needs to understand that unless your ex signs over rights, he’ll always be there somewhere lurking in the background and he can pop up whenever he wants to, really. It’s very frustrating, but it’s true. When you have a child with someone, you’re tied to them until the child is at least 18. Like it or not, this is what he signed up for…
I wouldn’t have. My baby daddy never asks for pictures or anything about the kids, we have 4. And he only asks to see the oldest child. I never tell him no, but I never ask him too see them or for any help. My kids will know that I didnt force them on somebody who didny want them but I never kept them from him when he did want them.
Shouldn’t have sent pictures if he didn’t ask for pictures.
Just saying if he took you for custody youd be REQUIRED to keep.him updated on everything. Medical appts, dr visits, schooling… so sending a picture once in a while should.be something you do willingly… im.not with my sons father. I’m married to another man. And my sons been in his life since he was 2. He calls him.daddy and his real dad sees him.on weekends. We don’t have a custody agreement. However I keep.him updated on everything and send him.pictures of things we do. If you’re a mature adult youd be sending him pictures and keeping him.in the loop. I truly dont care who doesnt agree with me but it’s the right thing to do… if he took you to court like I said before the judge would look at you so.badly for keeping the child from him it would turn against you.
I mean he’s not asking for them… Your boyfriend stepped up when he stepped up. I’d be hurt too. Maybe if your daughter was older and had a way to be in connection with him herself but honestly it seems like it was more for you than your child
Hes her father. He shouldn’t have to ask in order for you to send him pics and you shouldn’t be getting any shit for sending any to him
I see your bf point but I agree with you for the child’s sake. She will not be able to blame you. Have been through this with my grand kids.
I agree with the boyfriend.
I understand both sides…just talk about it…u have to look in from the outside
Everybody dissing the boyfriend; I don’t get it. He’s stepped up. Bio dad has only asked about daughter once in past month. Sending a picture is for your conscious, you said it yourself. Not one bit helping your daughter. Let bio dad man up. You’re not keeping the relationship away from her, it’s him. By all means if he wants a relationship with your daughter don’t deny that, but you shouldn’t be the one doing all the work for that. He needs to be accountable. I would assume he’s an adult. Don’t enable him. I see why your boyfriend is upset. Not saying to ask his permission but have an open dialogue. Let him know you appreciate him stepping up.
Sounds like to me, that you are making this more about you being right and everyone else being wrong. If BF has been there for you and your daughter all this time and dad has moved on with a new wife and their child, you are probably making trouble in his relationship as well as your own, and just maybe deep down you aren’t happy and you don’t won’t anybody else to be. If this is about your daughter and nothing else you wouldn’t need any validation from anyone else, you would know. Because you have this out here and asking everyone except the man that loves you and your daughter, my guess is that you knew when you did it that it was only gonna cause a problem in your relationship as well as the child’s Bio dad. You know any man can be a sperm donor and a woman can give birth, but it takes a real man or woman to step up and put the child first. Sounds like BF is a real man, can’t say anything about her bio dad. If he’s moved on and away maybe he’s doing what he thinks is best for his new family as well as his daughter with you. Sounds like maybe he’s looking out for himself and it sounds like you are using the chid to get attention for yourself. You may want to stop being childish before you cause your daughter that you have brought into another mans life and allowed her to get attached to him and call him daddy for your personal gain, to loose that security that she has now, why would you risk her loosing that. Think about someone besides yourself. You are being a real selfish mother. Grow up. I hope if you and BF has children together you don’t keep them apart to hurt them. I don’t know you, but I’m really close to someone else who is in a relationship just like this. It’s just crazy when grown people use children to hurt others cause in the long run everybody looses. Just saying. Good luck with that.