My boyfriend and I have two kids together, a 2year old and a two month old and I’m a SAHM. Yesterday he let slip what my Christmas present is. First of all, when it comes to his present, I thought about it for a while and got him something he has wanted and will use literally immediately. It’s not expensive or fancy, nor does it need to be. For my present, he told me that it would help me with our two-year-old. My present is a DVD player that goes into the car for our two years old… am I crazy to think that my presence should be something for me? Don’t get me wrong; I love my kids more than anything and would die for them. But I don’t want every single aspect of my life to be 100% about them. I need something at some point that isn’t fully revolving around them. Maybe I’m just thinking too much into it? I’m not sure. Any advice would be great.
I’d be happy with that!
I think the thought is nice but maybe he should get you a second gift that’s just for you.
This is a man for you. 
I have DVD players in my car. They aren’t cheap & they are very helpful to occupy the kids on car rides! Maybe you’ll reconsider when you use it 
it’ll make your life so much easier even though it’s meant for the kids.
Sounds like he doesn’t get you. You’re right. Take it back, and get u something.
It is for you. Your sanity lol
I think he maybe heard you say something and thought this would be a good way to give you peace while driving. I honestly think he was thinking of you.
My husband got me a car vaccum for my birthday girl I feel your struggle lol
It shouldn’t really be a present to just you then. It should be a present to both you and your child. Would be nice if he actually got something for you that was specifically for you. I know what you mean about separating the two. I’m a sahm and sometimes you feel like that’s all of who you are but it’s not
I think that’s a great gift
Imo it’s for you and your sanity as well lol men don’t think well appreciate he even got something for you. It’s about giving not getting.
Maybe he was trying to help you to have some peace and quiet in the car. Just a thought.
And this is why i always let everyone know what i want for presents because i am picky
Shoot i never want anything but stuff to make mommy time easy haha. Dang, i even like getting really expensive dyer sheets as a gift xD
That’s a family present 
Sound very selfish if I must say.
It is for you if it keeps that 2yr old occupied so its not driving you crazy!
It was nice that he was thinking about making things easier on you but I think he should of thought about something that’s just for you. Maybe tell him how you feel about it. Just let him know you appriciate it but would of liked something that was just meant for you.
It may not feel like he put time and thought into it to you, it’s entirely possible that he was trying to help you have more peaceful car rides, which is actually thoughtful.
I got a jogging stroller one Valentine’s Day. It’s exactly what I asked for.
I understand what you mean, but maybe he thought it was a gift to help.
I think he was maybe trying to make your days better when your driving. I think thats a great gift for you. Unless you hint stuff about what you personally would like most guys just dont know.
I’m sure he meant for it to be thoughtful. Maybe in the future, make a list for each other of gifts you want. 
Oh trust me. That DVD player will be life changing! You’re gonna love having it. Especially with such young kids
Hes just trying hun, he was thinking about something you could use and boy do those help
I think it is a very well thought out gift. I mean to have a long drive without all the whinning, fighting, and craziness that goes into a mom driving their little one everywhere. It will give you some quiet time while driving. I would love to have a gift like that.
That’s more a gift for the child. I think you deserve something for you. A new purse, pair of shoes, salon gift certificate.
I understand that you want something for you. At the same time I think your boyfriend thinks you would be ecstatic! I think for guys they think making your life easier with the kids would make you happy. My husband tries all year long so when I tell him I don’t want anything for Christmas it’s hard for him to get me something especially since I really don’t want anything
Well I probably wouldn’t of even gotten a gift so I mean appreciate he thought of you. All our Christmas money went to our son and our parents
I understand your point, it’s not that your babies are 100 because they are to you, you just wanna feel special and appreciated to, especially seeings how you did that for him.
Be grateful he got you anything. D V D player is very helpful for long ridess.
Sounds like he’s trying to make sure your travel time goes smoothly. He’s thinking about you. He is trying to make your life easier. Don’t think too much into, and don’t be too selfish. Unfortunately, when we have kiddos- our entire life revolves around them. Even when it comes to our gifts. Sounds like you have a great husband.
You people are so ungrateful it’s pathetic. 
Maybe he just said they and you’ll be surprised on Christmas Day.
But no your not wrong to wAnt a personal gift for yourself…
It’s the thought that counts. He thought about how it would make you life a little easier when your going some where with you kids.
Lol- one time mine got me a humidifier… 
He was trying to be thoughtful. Wait until after the holidays & talk to him about gifts. Don’t ask for something else, he gave you something to make your life easier. Just tell him that for the future, you would like something more personal! For my first anniversary, my husband got me a microwave, talk about personal. We used it well!
I think it’s thoughtful that he tried to give you your sanity with peaceful car rides. We have an IPad for my son and it has made sitting in traffic so much more tolerable.
I would have honestly loved that lol
Men don’t think like we do… I’m a practical gifter myself. Im wanted to cry (happy tears) one year when I ended up with 2 vacuums after telling both parent units ours broke. Or a new coffee machine. Sounds like he really did think it through which is what matters, but on the flip side, I can see your frustration too. Maybe let him know for future but try not to dampen his thoughtfulness.
Men use gifting to fix problems they see… he saw you were having issue with two year old when driving… he got you a gift to fix it. Is it romantic no. Will it improve your quality of life yes. Should you return it like others have suggested no… trust he did think about you in his process to pick the gift.
Gently mention it in a conversation.
I got my fiancé something and I got nothing. So you are very lucky.
Girl you’re not wrong in my eyes. Presents are meant to be something for the person receiving them. When we have kids we become moms, of course, but thats not all we are anymore. I would’ve been offended myself because that’s like buying cleaning supplies or cooking things because they’re things that would help…Its helpful yes. But at the same time not very thoughtful…
How bout give him something to make his life easier with kids. Just line he did! If he complain, tell him that since he gave you a dvd player to have in the car for the kids, that you thought he wpuld enjoy whatever you going to get for him for the kids. After he gets the point then give him the present you got him.
I think u sound selfish. My husband and I dont do gifts for each other its about the kids being happy 
Classic case of a man trying to solve a problem you’ve complained about thinking he’s being sweet. His intentions are good so remember that.
As for the gifting, you gotta work on that with him bit by bit. Give him a wish list each holiday that requires one.
Men and women are very different at gifting and men tend to be more about acts of service. So he thought he was doing you a service.
My boyfriend buys me alcohol…
Some of yall need to stop saying she’s ungrateful. Not once did she say she wasnt grateful for the gift but god damn a mom is allowed to not want everything in her life to be about her kids and just want something for THEMSELVES. Yes she is a mom but that doesn’t mean that’s all she is.
He was thinking you by occupying the baby while you drive .
I was literally just thinking how cool it would be to have a car DVD player lol I would’ve been stoked to get one. And hey it’s alright atleast he thought of you two. Most dads don’t give their kids the time of day, remember that.
I’m sure he means well, but I would talk to him about your feelings, too. Remind him that you are more than just a mother, you are a person separate from your kids.
I think he thought it would make things easier on you. But no I wouldn’t want that shit at all.
Psh I’ll take it lol my 1.5yr old is awful in a car! He gets so bored my next vehical will have a built in one!
You can tell him playfully that it’s a gift for the baby not for you. Sometimes people don’t realize it trust me.
Buy him something that your 2 year old needs, see how he likes it.
Hahaha!!! Guurrllll let me tell you how to enjoy that wonderful present! You wait until hubby is home in the evening and the kids are driving you crazy then you grab a pillow, a blanket some snacks a movie and go out to the car, lock those doors and enjoy that present he gave you! 
Who cares?! You’re an adult! You sound like a cry baby 
That is a FAMILY gift…
Last year I got shampoo, so consider yourself lucky lol… yes it was my favorite brand but shampoo!?! It was only recently that I learned he got me something I really wanted but lost it! We always try to get generally useful and practical gifts from the kids to each other then suprise one another with something special. If you’re not specific, you cannot expect him to read your mind though! Men and women speak very different love languages:heart:
I would be happy as crap if I got this! I think it’s a great gift for a mommy especially on those rides where the kiddos are just crazy!
Girl that is a gift for you! Keep them happy, keeps them quiet 
The DVD player will come in handy to you and I don’t think your boyfriend is trying to be a dick I’m sure he really was thinking of you maybe it isn’t the right object but still got you something i pick out two things I would want then I show my husband an let him choose which one to get me therefor it’s still a surprise maybe try doing this with your boyfriend but yes to me your thinking to much, an kind of being selfish, I get you want some things to yourself but I don’t see the point of being this upset over it honestly.
I understand how you feel… But like others have stated in one form or another. He likely put a great deal of thought into it. He wants to fix something he think stressed you. In that regard? It was 100% about you! Trying to make car rides easier he believes, will make your days better, which make you happier which in turn makes the kiddos happy and him happy to see you smiling instead of saying “and then we were in the car and (your child’s name here) started kicking my seat I didn’t have anyway to stop it!” Basically, he is trying to improve your life. Men buy gifts that are practical, solve problems… Fix or gifts. Oh got into a fight with the wife 4 months ago, I’ll get jewellery for X holiday and wife is happy and forgets fight over Julia’s husband buying her jewellery all the time!!!”
Maybe the reason he got it for you was so that you could have a peaceful car ride???
Yeah your present should be something for YOU. A dvd player for the kid isn’t for you. You can’t watch it while driving.
Just because you’re a mom does not mean you lose who you are. You still need to feel special, loved and all your needs met as best as they can be. Shoot, I get myself my own gifts haha don’t get me wrong, my husband tries so hard and picks good gifts, but some of them I’m like really? What I really wanted was a new curling iron! Not a blender for the baby food hahaha it’s totally normal! You’re not crazy! Go pamper yourself. Or straight tell him - nothing wrong with what you are feeling. I’d feel the same way. Like dang, our 1-2 gifts a year, and you really used my 1 gift on the kids just tell him! I’m sure he just doesn’t understand. Men don’t get these things sometimes lol
I would love a present like that, you’re just ungrateful
I would honestly just ask him if he kept the receipt and go get something you want. You give ALL of yourself every day to your kids when you’re a stay at home parent. You deserve something for YOU. I’m sure his intentions were not to hurt your feelings but that was a super oof move of him. I feel like it’s the equivalent of getting your wife a mop or a new vacuum for Christmas lol…not cool.
I understand what you’re trying to say but at the same time I would love one of those lol
Men are slow 
its practical . And he probably thought it would bring you peace . I feel like your being a little childish. Be thankful for what you have .
I really feel he was thinking of you. It is super sweet. Don’t overthink it. He cares and that’s a lot more than most men.
I think he was thinking about you when he got it, and that he meant well, but if you don’t like it maybe next year you could give him some suggestions as far as what you might like?
I totally get what you’re saying, but when you use that baby it’ll save your sanity! I’m a mom of 3 and love our car DVD player!
Also, two can play that game…maybe you should get him a family gift also.
That would be a present to me if I didn’t already have one. The DVD player is the only way I get a drive in peace! She doesn’t stop talking if she’s not watching a movie in the car.
I think he tried. He thought “maybe she wants quiet in the car”… kinda sweet
Also, try talking to him nicely about it… If he did put thought into it, his ego may get bruised which will make him leery about doing things in the future… yes your feelings matter just as much
Think of yourself? How many unbearable car rides you must have been through where you complained enough. I wad just talking to my man about it and shit id kill for that type of thought or peace. Treat yourself if you need something that much
Whitley Hatcher is 100% correct. He was thinking of you… Men think literal. If you’ve complained abt whining or you’re tired of hearing G rated, mind dumbing songs, he figured a kid with headphones and you with a Tupac cd would make you happy. Lol
Def make a list for gifts. Give him 4 or 5 things you’d like and leave it at that. I really don’t think he meant to hurt you.
Most importantly. TALK TO HIM. He’ll understand. 
Maybe he was joking and got you that and something for just you.
Your thinking is reasonable! I’d be a tad disappointed too
Me and my husband don’t exchange gifts for any holidays, including Xmas and birthdays. We’re adults if we need something we get it. If we want something we talk about it together and if we still want it after talking about it we get it. The problem with presents is they’re cool for about 3 to 4 months and then you forget about them AKA they are a waste of money. Pay off some debt instead or put money away for something y’all need.
Men don’t always think about stuff like that. The only way he’ll know is if you tell him. Communicate
It sounds like he is just trying to help you out. driving with my 2 year old is stressful and she likes to throw tantrums in her car seat so it’s distracting. I always have to give her my phone so she can watch YouTube. A car DVD player would be helpful to me
No you arent wrong it’s a great present…for your KID have a word with him tell him how you feel and if he still doesn’t understand get him something for the kids too x nothing wrong with wanting to feel a little appreciated
Be grateful… my husband didnt get me anything but I also dont need anything
My husband got me fingernail polish after we were married 10 years I don’t ever paint my nails!!! I now tell him what I want!!! this yr I want a microwave which will benefit everyone!!!
I think you’re right my life revolves around my kid but I’m still my own person. Sure, he probably thought it would be helpful. But if your kid is fine in the car without it then it seems pointless.
I would not say anything I believe he ment it to be for your benefit so smile and think of him every time you can drive without issues. If you say something he will feel bad and thsts not what you want or wont solve tbe problem. So after a few after Christmas just express that you feel you might be losing your identity in being a mother and you want his help in making sure you stay his wife in addition to be your child’s motber . If you say something it will hurt him even if he wont show it and he really tried.
Sorry. Sounds self centered to me. My teenagers have NEVER received a Christmas gift from their father… I would count anything that helps any of us as a gift
Give him a movie list and snacks too!
Then let him know twice a week you get movie time
Boo hoo… i swear some of these are made up… be glad you get a present… be glad your kid gets a present… some of us dont get that luxery…
I’ve been saying I want the DVD player/tv for in my car!!
It’s an awesome thought!! But you arent wrong in feeling like the gift should be for you! You devote your entire life to your children by being a SAHM so wanting a gift that’s YOURS isnt bad! And dont let anyone commenting tell you otherwise! Becoming a mother shouldnt make you lose yourself!
Out of all the stuff I’ve seen y’all attack men over, this is the one we defend? That’s a gift for the kids. Rather she brought it up or not. Has your relationship let you down so much, that this is normal? Your relationship needs to be a priority. It’s a key ingredient to happy families and happy kids.
the gift IS for you, it will help you when traveling with them, keep them busy & happy so you can focus on other things aside from being a totally ungrateful bitch tsk tsk
Seriously unless I buy myself something I get nothing for any holidays anniversary or birthday get over yourself
I mean it is kinda for you to help you with the kids… idk I get excited if my husband buys me a new vaccum to clean up after my kids
You sound self centered. I would be ecstatic because that me quite time in the car and not a million questions. Shoot I told mine to get me gift cards for the kids bc I literally don’t need anything and they need clothes for the winter.
I understand your frustration, it’s as if he bought a roomba to help save you from vacuuming. Its practical and it does make life easier, but he is thinking of you as just a caregiver and not a woman independent of her children. I think if you approach him about it, tell him it’s a fantastic gift and that you think your 2 year old will enjoy it. Keep the focus on how much the 2 year old will get out of it and you appreciate how he thought it would give you peace and quiet in the car, but point out it’s more suitable to give your 2year old as a gift.