My boyfriend has become distant: Advice?

So just recently my boyfriend of 6 years has hardly spoken to me. He has become distant and very to himself. He hardly looks at me anymore. I’m not sure if it’s him hiding something or him not being into me anymore after six years and two kids. I ask him, and he says nothing is wrong? Suggestions on what I could do?


Have guy tried asking him?

I would suggest sitting him down and having a really good discussion. To sit and speculate on what it could be will drive you nuts. To me it doesn’t sound good but he may be going through something personally… Talk! Alot!


Back off AND investigate. Maybe he’s going through a depression or maybe he met someone new. If it’s depression and you accuse him of cheating then you become the Ahole. If you stay calm and it turns out to be cheating… HE’S the Ahole. Know the hand you’re playing before you go “all in” and call.


Maybe he’s going through depression…you never know…

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Sit down with him and let him know you are there for him and he can talk to you about anything. Listen before you react.


Intuition girl you already know something is wrong with him and he outright lied to you. A man doesn’t just lose interest all of a sudden. My guess he has been losing interest for awhile whether it be something going on personally with him, he’s looking elsewhere or hes bored with y’alls realtionship. My advice would be sit down and have a heart to heart talk. Let him know how you feel and what his actions been doing to hurt you. Do you guys go on dates anymore? Do you fix yourself up and have some “fun time”? What are things you did in the past just the two of you that you dont do anymore? Sometimes you need to reignite that spark!

He’s cheating on you


My husband did this when he was battling depression and didn’t want to admit it or talk to me about it. The only way to find out it sit him down and tell him how it’s effecting you and if there’s anything you can do for him. It could be a number of things, but I wouldn’t jump to he isn’t interested or is cheating on you

Ask Him be blunt and to the point…

Same thing happen to me he is cheating are gay sorry

If u ask him and he won’t communicate its over.

Just what Jenn Wolfe said

Sit him down and have an honest conversation. Ask him what he wants . Let him know how you’ve been feeling and see how he’s been feeling ,

Now if he doesn’t want to have that then I feel that it means he’s actually hiding something . But you’ll never know until you have that honest conversation.

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Go with your gut feeling. The Lord blessed us with pretty on-point intuition… Don’t ignore it! If you think something’s off it is.


He probably just don’t want to be with you any more most men don’t break up with a woman they continuously do things for the woman to break up with them ask him point blank period what’s his issue is!! I think you already know kids don’t keep no man that don’t want too be kept.


Spy and check if once cheating then he not for you simple or go down shitty path with him your choices …think twice before go ahead

Always follow your gut feeling!! if something feels off it’s because 99.9% of the time it is

Go on a date and see how he is

Im going threw the same thing but we only havd 1 kid. Dont give up on him of you truly live him. Its hard for men to talk about things that make them feel less then. After years of fighting and a breakup finally he let me in and its made a huge difference. Dont plave blame and focus on what really matters. Ask yourself "is this worth it?

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I’m sorry , but 99.9 % there’s someone knew .

Sorry to say but he’s CHEATING

Big red flag…end it.

Who cares. He’s a loser. You can do it.

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After time, couples begin to take one another for granted. It takes hard work to keep the flame going especially after kids come into the picture. Talk to him. Tell him how you feel. And spice it up.

Usually our gut hunches are correct. You can sit him down and tell him how your feeling. If he insists theres nothing wrong then ask him why he is so distant? Things seem different very off u havent done anything wrong so.y is he acting this way?? If it continues you have to make a decision. Good luck my dear.

He’s cheating or thinking about it.
You need to sit him down and have the talk…


Many men that would do better

If it’s cheating: you’ll see him grooming more, wearing new clothes, getting fit.
If it’s depression: it’s other way round, he’ll stop taking care of himself

What is this new trend of having kids with boyfriends?


Get dressed all fancy do your makeup make him a killer dinner get him drunk then seduce him :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:


Sit down and tell him you think you guys should see other people and if he agrees you got your answer. If not get ready to cry real hard

Sounds like a guilty conscience about something

I’m not sure why everyone is so quick to suggest you leave when you have 2 kids. Relationships are hard. Giving up isn’t what you want to show your children. At least in my opinion. Try talking. Try suggesting things that you can do to help. Be compassionate and caring. If it ends up that he is cheating or something else and you break up then at least you were kind and tried. That’s my advice.

My guess is he’s cheating. 6-7 years in can be a difficult time for some couples (the 7 year itch) but if he’s not looking at you or touching you, something is going on.

…Man Up you Gutless Mug…come clean & let the girl get on with her incredible life…without you!..

Talk to him, he could be struggling with the situation we’re all in at the minute, I wouldn’t just assume there’s some new


Don’t automatically assume he is cheating. You need to have a serious sit down and clear the air.

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Okay I need way more info here. Has something changed at him as far as work or his family goes? Is he stressed out about money? Men (and women) who seem distant are NOT always cheating!!! Sometimes stress and life cause bumps in a relationship and you have to get to the root of the issue and communicate.

If you truly love him I would let him know you are very concerned about your relationship. Just keep in mind your happiness is very important. Life can be so short and you deserve love and happiness in your home always. Good luck.


Follow your gut. It’s almost 99% right every time, I know from experience. Wasn’t cheated on but was lied to a bunch and lots of hiding things from me and by following my gut I literally found out every thing that I needed to know. Never know what’s really going on. People jump straight to cheating but maybe he’s doing drugs? Could be going through something like depression? Or could possibly just not have interest anymore. Whatever it is, try and find out either by talking to him or watching his moves. Study him & go from there.

Red flag either affair or something else look for clues and evidence dont bother asking him cos he will deny it

My friend was going through that an then found out he was cheating but dont want to break up cause he dont want to pay child support

I have ideas something is up

He could be depressed. How is he acting with everything else?

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He may just be depressed. It happens to men to. They also get in a funk and don’t know why. Not because they are cheating or something is up. I deal with this with clients everyday. Dont jump to conclusions and dont let all these women make you think hes cheating.


Maybe he is depressed about something this covid can do funny things to us


Sounds like he found someone else, dig deeper and find out before you confront him


Give him an ultimatum… Either he talks to you so you guys can talk it out or you’re going to leave because living like that isn’t healthy or good for anyone.


You need to decide if you can live like this. Can you live with someone who treats you that way? Are you prepared for him to walk away? You need to prepare for it to go either way. You cannot force him to tell you what the issue is: he may be seeing someone else, he might have an illness, he might be having financial problems. But prepare yourself. With luck, it will be something manageable and he just doesn’t want to worry you.

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Prob just down and fed up with life as we all are but blokes tend to suffer in silence , worrys and stress can detach a person !


Instead of asking him what is up… start talking to him about other things and get his opinion. He may just open up. Or to be honest this whole year has been so hard on everyone. There could be a lot of emotions going on inside but nothing worth talking about because it’s h be are to pin point.


Why does everyone assume the worst? I would man have gone through some rough times similar to this. And most of the time after talking, it was either something completely unrelated to us or it is just a misunderstanding and we havent discussed it.
Talk to him. Don’t.just ask what’s wrong. Give examples. Maybe open up to him a bit about just being in a funk or something.


Me and my SO are 6 years together and just starting to be distant also no cheating just kids life and work make time for both of you to be alone it helps trust me it kills me inside that we are distant and I know it kills him but when its US TIME that all goes away. Grown up life sucks

Is he like this with others? I would check in mental health wise and go from there.

Sounds like he may be depressed or just run down and fed up. Were all in the same boat, missing life and our family and friends. My partner tends to clench up when he feels down and he dosent usually want to talk which is his choice he knows im here, I just do everything I can to make him smile, have a movie night and just spend some quality time with him, men have always been made to ‘man up’ rather than ‘open up’ its sad really. I hope use manage to sort it out. Xxx

Spice it up… get a sitter, dress up and have some fun together! Might cheer him up!

Talk to him, take him out without the kids and talk to him.

Guys can go through depression, and mental health just like girls can. This year has been hard on everyone. Just give him sometime and see if he bounces back, if not. Recommend counseling or that he talk to a doctor. Try a date night, a weekend without the kids, something fun for you guys to do together without the kids. It’s not always cheating, or something wrong happening in the relationship. Sometimes dads/men get depressed and need help just like moms do. Everyone needs a break sometimes.

Men get depressed too. They go through funks and what not, just like women. Not everything means men are cheating. Try talking to him. Communication is key


You sit him down and have a longggg discussion. Tell him how you feel, ask him how he feels. Tell him that you are feeling like the relationship needs work and that you love him and want to make sure both of your needs are being fulfilled.

I have found that any sudden change in behavior is suspicious. Once my gut feeling was cheating and sure enough…but then another time I was only worried and it was his mental health. If there isn’t any time unaccounted for or things he seems to be hiding, then he may just be bored. Change stuff up.


Men can become depressed. I would really sit down with him and have a heart to heart conversation. Have him open up. Men don’t handle stress very well.

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Before u jump into conclusions stop for a second and talk to him about this maybe he’s just depressed when I’m depressed I don’t want talk to anyone or be near anyone he could be going through depression so bef u jump on his throat just sit down and try to talk to him and understand him and where he’s coming from


Sounds like he’s cheating…my ex said the same thing for years and cheated on me the entire time.

I believe In “the seven year itch” husband and I had a hell of a time around 6-7 years. Going on 10 now and have never been better. It took us both a long, hard time to get through it and he’s now my best best friend


He might be going through a slump. Not feeling great about life, so uninterested in life. Talk. He might be depressed, he might be seasonally depressed, he might be stressed, and he might have something to hide, but if you approach it as you are concerned about depression, instead of approaching as “I think you are cheating”, you are going to get a clearer idea of what is going on, even if it’s your worst fears. You can read the demeanor of someone you have lived with for a time.


Depression? , speaking from experience

Tell him you love him and he can talk to you about anything and when he would like to do that say I’m here for you :heart::rose::rose: give him something to think about

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Cheating. especially not looking at you, he’s :100: guilty of something.

Something could be stressing him out really bad maybe work change, money, etc.

Sit down and ask him if there’s anything he’d like to do with you together and actually do it make time for him and watch him blossom, if he doesn’t respond to that then there could be more to it, but if he enjoys playing video games or is passionate about working on cars offer to play a game with him, offer to help him with the car, often times you may not want to cause you think you suck at those things but those things mean a lot to him and he doesn’t care how proficient you are at them, he just is glad to spend them with you

Depression is real honey try talk to him it’s not always about cheating

My husband gets this way when he is trying to work something out in his head. He never tells me what’s wrong until he gets it worked out. Sometimes he’s like that for weeks. Then he will admit he was trying to figure out a problem. Usually something about work or an engineering issue on something he’s trying to build.
I wouldn’t necessarily jump to the worst conclusion. But I would talk to him and tell him how it’s making you feel.


My husband gets like this too. Usually it is something going on that he doesn’t want to burden me with…I’d try to create fun moments for the two of you, things he loves or will make him laugh. Remind him that you are there to support him with your actions instead of words. Give him time. If he doesn’t come around, talk to him without accusing. Say I feel…don’t say you are… See how the conversation goes.


You have been with him 6 years, what’s your gut telling you? I would just let him know that you can tell something is wrong, and as his partner/ other half. That you are there for him when and if he would like to talk about it. Be honest and open. My husband is a very quiet person and never says anything about feelings. I am bluntly honest with him. Straight up tell him. If he doesn’t come to me after that, then it is what it is. I can’t make a grown person do something they don’t want too.


I would not automatically assume he is cheating. Not every person is a cheater :woman_facepalming:t2:

There could be many things. Maybe he has depression.!Maybe he’s been stressed.
Maybe he’s just been exhausted.
Maybe there really is nothing wrong and you’re over thinking. Maybe he feels the same and that you’ve been distant. You won’t really know until you sit down and have a real talk with him about it and express your feelings or concerns. Men are taught to hide their emotions & to not be vulnerable so lots of times when they are struggling with emotional problems they get quiet or distant. What you need to do is not let anybody else worry you or get into your head, Try to sit with him and talk with no distractions. Maybe suggest seeing a couples therapist.


Is he gone more than usual? Working more? Might be depression, also might be another woman.


Some men get like this when something isn’t working out for them. Not the relationship necessarily it could be his car is making a noise he can’t figure out or he’s stressed at work, or maybe he’s trying to figure out a financial situation. He may not want to talk about it because it’s just something he needs to workout on his own. Don’t stress too much unless it continues for a prolonged amount of time.


I’d have a talk with him. But also look out for signs. My ex cheated like crazy and I dumbly put up with it for my kids…till i had enough and kicked him out. He’d swear he wasn’t cheating and that he’d stop messaging a bunch of other women but that never lasted long. He’d go out at night then not come home till next day or even a few days later, came home from work smelling like perfume twice, constantly asking to go out for a guys night which really hurt cause it seemed like he didnt want to spend time w me and the kids cause he went out so often. I knew for sure when I caught him in the bathroom texting another woman around 2am, then he stayed out for a week so I told him not to come back after that. We weren’t married but were together for almost four yrs, lived together for 3 and have two kids. But definitely don’t jump to conclusions unless your positive he’s doing stuff like this

Don’t assume anything, try talking to him without accusing him of anything. He could be depressed or something.


You should just tell him exactly what you just told us. You feel he’s been distant for a while, his behavior towards you has noticeably changed, it’s causing you to feel like he isn’t interested in you anymore, and it’s creating emotional strain in your relationship.

Either you guys need therapy, or the relationship has run its course. Love isn’t guaranteed to last forever; people, situations, circumstances and yes, even feelings are all things that can and do change over time. People are always growing and changing in different ways throughout their entire lifetimes. Sometimes couples grow together, sometimes they grow apart. It happens. The only thing you can do is be 100% honest and open about how you feel and what you want.

If you love him and he loves you, but the way he treats you has changed into something that isn’t what you want or need - AND if it’s something he can’t or won’t fix/change, then perhaps it’s time to realize it’s over. If you need something more from a relationship than he is capable of or willing to give you, that’s no longer the right relationship for you, plain and simple. Regardless of how long you’ve been together or how many kids you’ve had.

It is what it is. Call it what it is, and accept the reality of it.


I would keep trying to communicate. Try to explain that while he may say nothing is
wrong, his behavior is making you feel otherwise. He needs to recognize the toll it takes on you, his partner. He may also need to some self-reflection. If he truly believes nothing is wrong and is depressed for example, he may need to talk to someone. Sometimes it’s hard to recognize when we withdraw. Best of luck.


Sometimes when people are under stress and don’t want to burden their family they internalize it. If he’s just keeping to himself let him know you are there when he’s ready to share. If his pattern and schedule has changed then be alert and trust your gut.

Not sure but I know this pandemic has put alot of ppl in a state of depression, anxiety and just plain sad.


It could be anything. He could have problems at work, a friend could be going through something, he could be depressed… the list of could be’s is endless. So often we, as women, tend to forget that men have feelings and worries just like we do and they are allowed to be emotional. He patient, be kind, and be understanding. Let him know you are there for him if and when he needs to talk. If it is something bad, you will know in due time and guess what, you will be fine. I have been in the bad situation with 2 kids, it’s not easy but I have survived and am doing just fine. Keep your head up.

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He could just be depressed. Also just because of my personal history with men, maybe drugs. Possibly cheating. Most often though it is depression and other hard feelings that men aren’t taught to cope with.


I will be the first to say I am the one that gets in these slumps. I am not cheating, I still love my husband, but I am bored. Sometimes I need time to figure MYSELF out. Maybe that is what he is doing. Give him the benefit of a doubt unless he gives you facts that there is someone or something else. :heart:


Valentines day is coming up. Plan something sweet and romantic. See if he plans anything too. Don’t remind him that Valentines day is coming up. Just see if he does anything. In the meantime, just be there for him. Show him that you love and care about him.

My question is why you are not married? I am old school and fine if you want to live together however don’t bring kids into it. So you are probably looking at a man that is not in for the long haul. He is fixing to move on and just don’t know how to tell you. My opinion


Men go through things not meaning he is cheating he is probably stressed or worried men do that my husband gets that way but he isn’t cheating on me just health issues and worried about losing our house due to losing his job !


Go out on a date night just the 2 of you and try to reconnect. Maybe he’s going through something and doesn’t know how to address it.

Something must be on his mind and it might be a problem that he has.

Sit down and have a heart to heart talk. He maybe have depression issues or he is seeing someone else. Go get a babysitter and have some alone time .

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Seriously, he may be dealing with depression or just feeling melancholy. All relationships ebb and flow over time. I would look up some discussion starters online, don’t just ask “if he’s ok”. Honestly, even if he doesn’t “deserve it”, make an effort to do something special. His favorite dessert, get dressed up one day, go on a date night. See what his reaction is…if he takes notice, he may just need a little relationship refresher. If he’s oblivious, then you might need to worry more about what he’s up to.


Maybe he’s just bored with life. It happens to all of us from time to time. Any chance you could plan a daycation for you two without the kids?

Try to be vigilant especially if your gut feeling say so. My partner for ten years started to act that way after 8 years together. I tried to talk with him and asked him whats wrong and he said nothing just one of those days so i trusted him. Everytime i notice something from him i asked whats wrong and if we could talk and he just say nothing to worry about until last year he just said he had another and ending our relationship. I found out the girl was seeing him trying all she can two years ago. So be vigilant.

I’d be concerned if he avoids being intimate as well… otherwise… perhaps :thinking: at time to switch it up on him… throw a bit of spontaneity at him. Catch him off guard. See how that works and take it from there.

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Don’t go to him voicing why you’re upset. Don’t suggest he has a problem. Talk to him from your heart. Keep the subject light or maybe a little pampering until he starts to open up. If he doesn’t start talking about things or acting a little more concerned there’s really not much more you can do except pray for him because God never fails.

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Oh yes you sit down and talk to him. Let out all truths Bc something is wrong. Could be a number of things but you need
To figure out what