I am 6 months pregnant. My boyfriend promised he would quit drinking. I didn’t realize he had this bad of a drinking problem until now. He did well for about 6 weeks and then he had 2 slip ups. At first he lied to me about drinking, but I found out through a mutual friend that he was wasted. He promised he would go to AA because he didn’t want to lose me…well he lied about that too. He got wasted again and tried to lie again about drinking and won’t go to AA. I pretty much know where this is headed, but would like any advise. Thank you!
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Ditch. Now. I’m sorry, but you need out.
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You need to leave and if it’s his baby start consulting an attorney now.
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He wont stop drinking for you, he wont stop drinking for your child. He will only stop drinking for himself. Even if he really means it when he says it to you.
You have two choices, stay with a man that is an alcoholic and everything that it brings to you and your childs life, or leave and give you and your child a better chance at a successful life.
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Only he can change if he wants to. You cant make someone do anything they dont want to.
You cannot make him stop drinking. He is an alcoholic (as am I) and will not quit until he is ready. It is iimportant that you have support. Contact an AlAnon Family Group in your area. You need it. Attend at least 3 months before you decide to leave or stay with it.
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You need to tell him either he quits and is truthful with you, or you walk away. These people never change if you keep giving chances and enabling their behavior. You are doing him no favors if you stay and allow him to continue.
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Unfortunately there is nothing you can do. He cant and won’t stop till he is ready. It’s not because he doesn’t love you or the baby. He is an alcoholic. I am in recovery. I wasnt able to stop for a very long time. It wasnt because I didnt not love my family because I did. I just didn’t know how to stop. You can leave. If you stay just know you may have a long road a head of you.
Run as fast as your legs can carry you,take care of yourself and your child,if he is already lying about drinking he is not going to change and no matter what you do you can’t change him until he recognizes that he has a problem.good luck🙏
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U need to leave him now as he will keep telling u lies believe me aye no what aye am taking about aye was in a relationship like that so bag ur bags and get u and ur kids into a safe house and get the police involved if u have to
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He needs to spend some time in rehab then attend meetings.
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Try AA with him. Just a thought
He’s the only one who can help himself. You can leave and tell him that when he can stop lieing to you and help himself and prove himself then tell him you can talk, but until then he’s no going to stop until he hits rock bottom
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You don’t need any advice. You already know what to do. Save yourself & save your unborn child. Or settle for a life of misery. You already KNOW what to do. Be Brave.
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His sobriety is his responsibility. You need to leave.
It doesn’t get better until they want it. I promise you that. And most of the time they have to hit their bottom to “want it”. In the meantime you will suffer. Take care of YOU and baby. But he needs to go until he can prove he wants to be there over alcohol.
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Does he drink all day every day or just party sometimes? Big difference
Unless he wants the change that the only way it is going to happen you cannot force hm t change
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A drunk is a drunk until he chooses. He more than likely drink heavier once the kid comes. Stress triggers a lot of bad behavior from people that need a 12.step program.
Cut ur losses n leave
Definitely get a lawyer first if the baby is his, then give him an ultimatum… either he straightens up with no slipping up or you’ll leave with the baby… it’s sad that things like this happen… if it helps him, maybe you can go to the AA meetings with him if he’s serious about quitting… but honestly be prepared to leave before he gets worse
Boundaries, self care, and be transparent with your people, because he will likely react poorly to your boundaries. You need to stay in the most positive energy possible at all times, especially because you’re a mom now and your baby feels what you feel. Your choices in the first 7 years of their life will form their entire relationship style 
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I went through this too he promised once the baby came he would stop drinking but he drank even more I had to throw him out of my house as he fell over pram while baby sleeping in it he tried to give baby a bath while paraletic drunk always picking baby up for cuddles while drunk I had no choice but to kick him out as he was a danger to baby
Are you stupid. Just because you’re going to have a baby
Not going to change him. A man will tell you anything to get what he wants. Let him go.
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your priority now is to your child. In the next 3 months. Get yourself in a position where you can have your baby. Get support to do this. Away from this man.
His job is to get free of alcohol at which time you carefully consider ( with professional advice )if and when you take him back.
Good luck.
Take a step back and look at him at his worst. Can you live with it? Can you deal with this off and on for year after year. Because that’s life with an addict, any type of addict. Drugs, alchohol, cigarettes, porn, gambling, whatever. There will be a lifetime of highs and lows. What do you want for you and your child?
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He will not change unless he wants to. I hate drunks.
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Unfortunately, as you stated, you know where this is headed. I think you should sit down with him and seriously tell him where you are at with the situation. Explain to him how you’re feeling and why you are gonna do what you have to do. Even if he makes more promises, you need to leave to show him you aren’t playing around. Tell him his behavior and actions going forward will prove what he really intends to do. If he straightens up eventually, then that’s your place to give him a chance AFTER he really proves he changed. But you do need to leave now. It’s the only way he’s gonna see that your serious. If he doesn’t change at all, then you know where you stand.
Does he work ? Is he mean or nice?
He should want to do this for himself. Threats of him loosing you wont help since it just makes the situation more resentful if he doesnt follow thru. You need to put yourself first. Nobody can be forced to do right for themselves.
Scare him and leave. Then he will realize what he’s losing and hopefully get help.
You are not his rehab and he is not your project. You need to leave hun and the sooner you make the move the easier it will be in the long run. Sorry that this is happening to you.
Leave…from my experience it only gets worse.
Get out while u can before the baby is born and once the baby is born file for full custody
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At this point all You can do is ask Yourself if this is the life You want or dont want…Quit thinking He will Quit for You or the Baby fie that Matter…You already know the answers so dont try to convince Yourself of anything else. .RUN!!!
You can never change them love em threw it or quit and here’s the deal even if you don’t quit on him the chances are seriously high they will quit on your union together.
If they don’t love self nothing you do will be enough.
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Get out!!! Don’t expose your baby to this. If he wanted to change he would have. You need to focus on you and that baby.
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S. L. I . P … sobriety loses it prority…
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My father was an alcoholic. Thus our family was beyond dysfunctional and it affected each of his children horribly. Move on. Don’t damage your child. Alcohol will always be his first priority.
He won’t stop. I finally left after 20 + years. I wish I would have left years ago. Our children are scarred for life because of him and his disease. Lies and lies and more lies. Terrible behavior, broken promises. Don’t put yourself or your child through that lifetime of misery.
His rock bottom was when he realized I was leaving, he threw a day long temper tantrum, ultimately ending with him attempting to hang himself. Said he would never drink again. Promised the kids he would never drink again, promised his dad-who is now passed. After a few months, he started drinking again.
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Go to an CODA meeting for yourself and detach with love. Your well-being and your babe need to be your priority. I know it seems painful and impossible, but you can’t control him. If you try, you will destroy yourself.
Change comes with acknowledgment and he won’t even acknowledge his bad habit so he isn’t gonna change it he has to want to change his self and has to see that it is a problem for his self sometimes you have to leave an let them see you are serious an either they will get there shit together or they won’t 
but you gotta do what is best for you and baby.
I would make him choose you and baby or his drinking if he chooses drinking I’d run if he doesn’t change now and your 6 months pregnant he’ll never change! Do what is right for your child do you want your child to grow up around someone who drinks? I say get support from family health center and community resources! And sorry to say but you need to kick him to the curb! Rule is in a relationship you have rules and one of them is raise a child in a loving committed relationship or marriage without drinking or abuse and above all you do what is best for your relationship and marriage and above all what is right for your child if you two can not agree on those rules then you do what is best for a good future and honey that is you are the mother to your child you protect that child with all of your soul and you remove anything that can harm the child period and a significant other with a drinking problem is number 1! Get his to rehab and you get that baby and yourself to a place where you both are safe! And also he needs a job and you need a job he and you have a child to provide for that is the most important! He needs and you need to step up here and take care of the child period!!! You both seriously Need a come to Jesus grow a pair talk I say!
Set some boundaries and rules to be followed now and in future and he WILL stop drinking! Set your foot down now!!! You both need to be 100 percent 
honest with each other as well if he’s lying to you that’s a major red flag!!
Make him go to rehab! Sounds like need counseling both of you together ! And file for custody for the child on your part! You are not weak remember you and him have the utmost responsibility to take care of you and your child period!! Do it now before the child is born you have the power to WALK AWAY PERIOD DO IT!!!
I know this hurts but you can’t expect a baby to be born in a toxic environment of substance abuse and deceit and it not affect him or her for life. Your child will be better off with one parent that has their shit together rather than two parents where nothing goes well. You can do this. Remember, an addict is always an addict. If they don’t get constant help then the only question is whether it’s alcohol, drugs, work, religion, gambling, sex etc. Your child is a man or woman whose future relies on you right now. You got this.
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Get away! You can’t fix a broken person, he lies because he’s broken. Love yourself more lil momma.
He will never stop drinking I learned from experience the hard way with my ex he will tell you what you want to hear to make u happy my best advice is to get out of the relationship now that ur expecting cause once u give birth it will be harder for u to leave and u will regret it for ur safety and your baby just think if he tries to carry the baby while he is drunk or some other dumb stuff leave now u can go to family till u are stable I left him 3 years ago my kids are happy and I am happy and ex still drinks
Leave protect yourself and your child
He got to want to quit if not then leave. You are not responsible for his behavior you got a baby on the way and don’t need his issues in your life. You be better off being single mum it hard but it harder having to deal with a alcoholic and new baby. If he lying to you about his drinking then he will lie about other stuff. Do what is best for you and the baby.
Good god! I see some really bad advice here. Only he can help himself. Don’t be afraid to be selfish and save yourself heartache. You gotta do what’s best for you and your child. He’s an addict. That won’t stop ever. He’ll be an addict sober or drunk.
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I left an alcoholic after 13 years of trying to help him change. They’re sick. They will not change. They lie! Run!!!
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Go see an Attorney and find out what your rights are. Call your local Bar Association and they can hook you up with free legal aid. You need to protect yourself and your baby. Much love and many blessings to you all,
Get out. He won’t be able to bquit till he reaches rock bottom. You need to put your unborn child and yourself first. Been there.
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My dad is the same an alcoholic and a womanizer. since i can remember, i use to beg my mom to leave him because my brother and i told her that we can live without his financial support as long we are at peace and drama free but she did not listen and told us that she does not want a broken family. Now they are already on their twilight years my dad is still the same but my dad behaves whenever me and my brother is around because one time when we finally had enough of seeing him abusing our mother in front of us we snapped and did scared my dad sober. we just realized abusers will keep on abusing you if you let them. So dont use your kids as an excuse to stay in a relationship. Leave asap once the lies and abuse shows.
They will never change.I am so glad I got out of the toxic relationship wirh an alcoholic for 12 years.Make it easier on yourself now before your baby is born.Hopefully he is not abusive towards you.Good Luck.
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Think of your unborn babies future!, I had a similar situation when I was pregnant except he was a closet drug abuser and there was absolutely no way I was bringing a child up around that kind of life…I left and 4 yrs later he OD’d, my advise they promise and say they will change like he did and he didn’t so I changed!, Good Luck!
Omg leave! He won’t stop. My best friend just divorced her alcoholic husband who she also thought would stop once they got married. Then when they have their 1st kid, 2nd kid. Until he kept coming home drunk puking in front of the kids! IT WONT CHANGE
LEAVE smh it’s his problem not yours, if you keep allowing it , then it’s your fault. Move on already geez. 
He wont stop i had the same issue with my babys father
You can’t help those who can’t help themselves.
He will not quit for u or ur kids
He will tell u lie after lie and when it gets bad he wil lie about everything
He will most likely steal from u to feed his habbit
Or worse steal from his kids.
He will only do it when he realises he needs to.
And just when u think things are goin great IF he gives it up… Be prepared to b let down…
Some people can stay off it for years and then bang they go on a bender.
No point u giving him choices to give it up… Cos he will say he will but he won’t. Its u and the kids that will suffer
Well he needs more then AA. He needs a treatment program. And I’ll be honest alcoholism, well any addiction for that matter, is going to be hard to ‘cure’ I use cure because you can’t cure addiction it’s always there. You can learn to manage it. AA helps for sure, but a lot of people need a little bit more to start then that. And there will be slip ups too. Also doing it for someone else, even your kid isn’t always enough motivation for some. And some times they have to hit rock bottom. He’s probably not there yet. You have two choices, be patient and go to Alanon for loved ones (spouses, children, parents of alcoholics) and figure out what you can do. They will give you support too.
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His addiction will always come first until he has the desire to change it.
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leave… that will be the rest of your life… and you do not want that around… pack ur bags… and head off… you are strong enough to demand better and deserve better… do not allow someone to weigh you down
Im sorry, but unless he wears a diaper, you wont change him. I tried, and failed. If i had a chance to tell my younger self, less than a year into the relationship, to cut my losses, smh. I’d listen. Sorry to be negative, but, not every cloud has a silver linning.
I had a friend who was an alcoholic n once his son was born he stop drinking
He made his choice, now u make ur choice remember your are making it for baby
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He will not change until he’s ready. I don’t care how much he promises, I promise you an addict will be an addict until they see their addiction. If you want better for you and your unborn baby do what you gotta do. Otherwise its patience, heartache, and time. He’ll either wake or you’ll walk out. Good luck and god bless you and your baby!!!
If you really want to continue with him it is critical that you attend Alcohol Anonymous meetings to teach you to cope. Otherwise you will regret your decision.
Take you & your unborn child & RUN. Drunks always lie & make promises they don’t intend to keep. Raising a kid in that mess is not good for either of you. It gets ugly, then daddy is gone for hours sometimes days & your left making excuses & raising a baby on your own anyway. I speak from experience & wish when i had left with my daughter that i never returned. Now she is an adult & doesn’t have healthy relationships & gravitates towards people with addictions
He has to admit he has a problem and he needs to get help you cant force him it’s all on him you need to get help for your self it’s not going to be easy it may be you and your baby for a while
You gave him a chance. He doesnt want to change. So its best for you to move forward without him. Also please set firm and direct boundaries do not let him push you around
You go to alanon. You can’t change him only he can. Leave or don’t. Noone can tell you how to handle that but he wont change for you or a kid. He’ll only change when he is ready
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Alcoholics are good liars. If he doesn’t go into some kind of an inpatient treatment your life will forever be filled with the stress of the lies and mood swings. DO NOT PUT YOUR CHILDREN THROUGH THIS. Anyone that says children are not affected by alcoholic parents are lying. Also…IF he does get help, your life still changes because his problem is now your problem. No more drinking ever again. No more going anywhere that alcohol is served…which could mean holiday parties, family gatherings, Summer get togethers…and many others. Alcoholics ruin everything and will make you the scapegoat for it all. Oh…and don’t clean up after them because many years later after making them look like a saint, your family won’t believe a word you say because you did that good of a job of covering up their alcoholic shenanigans.
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You need to leave him. Been though that crap not good. They never change.
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I’m fighting a drinking problem myself right now…but I’m doing it because I want too! No one can force him. So it’s just really up to you to make a decision to stay and deal til he’s ready or don’t. No one can tell you what’s right for you. If he’s abusive or anything then I would definitely leave though.
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He goes to Detox the AA or we would be done
Alcoholic people will destroy your life the same as a Drug addict with the lies and the deception and no child should have to live in that environment because if it continues it always gets worse not better
I would separate from him with an ultimatum quit drinking forever or we’re done forever
Believe me you deserve so much better out of life and so does your child 
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This is going to be harsh - but I’m saying it with love.
You must focus on love. The love of your baby!
Run. Seriously run. Imagine leaving your baby with him. He will drink. He may even drive. He could easily hurt (or worse) them both if he does that.
He cannot be a responsible parent wasted. Kids need constant supervision. They attempt to put keys in light sockets, phone chargers that are plugged in - into their mouths, they put everything including poisonous things in their mouth. They are masters of escape and doing dumb stuff. They toddle off and drown in buckets and pools and walk into the street and behind cars about to back out of the driveway.
Do not let an alcoholic alone with your baby ever. Let him know he will have to complete treatment or will only have supervised visitation and get a lawyer now to take him to court to ensure only supervised visitation for the safety of your baby.
Sending sweet hugs to you and your little peanut. 
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Know that he’s suffering from a disease. It will take time for him to heal if he’s not truly ready to start the process. It’s okay to leave if this isn’t something you can deal with. It is.
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Do not stay with him. Make provisions for when he is supposed to be with the baby so you know it will be safe.
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Speaking as a an ex of an addict and a recovering addict myself nothing that you say or do will change anything. If he doesn’t want to change, he won’t. Move out and show him that you’re not putting up with it and see what he does from there.
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Get a tiny bachelorette apt and start your life with baby. If he gets sober and stays sober for a year, then reassess.
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Leave this man now he will not change he does not want to change and you will not convince him to stop drinking you deserve better so does bub I’ve.been through this and kicked him out of my life he took me to court did not show up in court and still drinks smokes pot to this day 14 plus years later
He needs a reason only he can understand and commit to in order to change and seek help. Relationships or even children(family) aren’t strong enough to push an alcoholic to a place where they can heal, recover and thrive afterwards by not relapsing.
I would recommend you put some space between you, your child and him. As time passes, the more he drinks…he’s going to explode and transform into someone you won’t even be able to recognize. It’ll get ugly.
It starts and ends with him. Acknowledging and admitting there’s a problem…has to come from him.
Do your part by offering up resources, people he can identify with and support. Don’t “nag”, fuss and stress about it. It’s not healthy for you at this time. Talk to his friends and express the need for them to take it easy on the drinks (use the baby as a tool if you have too). Most of all, pray for him. That’s the best I can give for now.
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Try Alanon. It is like AA but for the loved ones of an addict or alcoholic.
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The situation is no longer about you or him, it’s about what is best for your baby. An alcoholic parent is NOT what your child deserves. My ex was a real bad alcoholic and I kept giving him chance after chance. By the time I was 7 months with our 2nd child he put me in the ICU and my son died 3 times as a result of it. He spent the 1st year of his life in the NICU! NO child deserves that!!!
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do you want to continue to live like that? If not, get out.
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My x husband is an alcoholic . Get out while u can, don’t let your baby grow up in an alcoholic home. It’s effect on the family is devastating…
Leave… if he wants to change he will… but you have a child on the way and that’s more important than anything
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I am the child of an alcoholic. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. That’s all the advice I can give…
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Leave him! I went through that for 5 years believing he would stop. Your baby comes first. He will not be much help to you if he is drinking. I don’t think you would trust him to be with the baby alone. Make a life for you and your baby. You will be so much happier and better off!
Join groups for families of addicts. Then run.
Speaking from experience…go to alanon it helps so much to understand how to handle this and focus on you and your child and whatever you tell him if you say you are leaving then you have to leave…he will has to be the one to decide to get help no matter what you say…you have to do what’s best for you and your child
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Run They do not change
Growing up with an alcoholic father was the absolute worse. You won’t be able to help him. Love is not enough. It will never get better. You will suffer. Your child will suffer. Then years down the line, after the mental/physical irreversible damage is done to both you and your child, you’ll hate yourself for staying through it all. R U N!!!
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get out he will never change sad but true
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He won’t stop unless he wants to
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Leave and don’t return until he is dry with a programme to keep him dry. If he slips once you need to put your child first. You are the one responsible for bring a child into the world and your responsibility does not end after birth
First off- let’s get this out the way your decision making hasnt been that great as you would have known he was an alcoholic before having his baby. You did not mention how long you have been with him, I’m guessing not very long. With that said nobody changes for you, they change on there own. He may want to, he just cant. If you stay,be very, honestly prepared for hurt, disappointment, broken promises,resentment- due to all that, no trust… very few happy days,(the days he doesnt drink.) He had this prob before you, it will be during you, and after you. I speak from experience. Be his friend- if you try and be the rock you both will sink. I waited 17 years for change. We are not together now. Its now 7 years later- he still drinks and he’s happy & I’m now happy. Can you wait 17 years to be haapy?? Should you??
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He betrayed yr trust and lied to you more than once time for you to go honey