My boyfriend is mad I want to start working out: Thoughts?

I just had my second baby. After my first, I gained some weight afterward, but I was young and worked out a lot, so I came back from it quickly. (Quick backstory) I have horrible anxiety and milks depression, and I’ve been on medication for years because of this. I’m not on any meds now, as I quit taking them when I got pregnant. My boyfriend is mad that I want to start working out. He says I just want to impress other people and look hot for other people. When I’m in reality, I just genuinely want to feel better overall. I want to feel healthier and happier, and I’m hoping the exercise will help some of my mental things. I can feel myself falling into PPD again, and he judges me for wanting to see my doctor. He says these things are all in people’s heads. I don’t know what to do. I’m so upset and unhappy.


Well he’s super insecure. How dare he try to stop you from doing things that make you feel better about yourself. Seems like he’s got some shit to work on himself.

You do you girl!! Don’t let anyone hold you back from doing things that make you happy and improve your health

Tell him to suck it and join a gym mama. It’s your body and your mind you know what’s best. He’s just insecure for some odd reason. Health and lifestyle choices should be encouraged by S O s


Wow … Sounds very unsupportive and negative … You really should consider moving on … You’d be better off without the BS


If he isn’t supportive of you trying to better yourself than you need to move on


Do what’s best for you girl. It’s a scientific fact that excersize helps with mental things and also there’s this thing called self esteem it’s not always about other people

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Do What Makes U Happy Love…Fuck🖕🏾 Him💋


Wow what a dick. If it’s something that makes you feel good and it’s harmless he should absolutely encourage you especially when it can help your health 


He is a Narcist !!!

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Do what makes you happy. If you want to work out do it. He can’t stop you from doing a few jumping jacks. And if he does just drop kick his ass to the floor. (Part is the workout :wink:)

If that’s what he’s mad about. Girl run.


Don’t let him make you lose yourself. You are more than a mom and gf.

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He’s trying to be controlling. I hate when men say things like that or when we do our hair and make up randomly one day and it’s “who are you trying to impress” MYSELF that is who. Do whatever you need to do to feel better about yourself and don’t feel bad for it!!! Include him in it and get a gym membership that has a daycare so you both can work out together maybe?


Go work out and tell him to kiss your ass. Never let a man control you

You tell that boy your mental health fucking matters. Your physical health fucking matters. His childish controlling behavior is bullshit.

Dont listen to him…do it for yourself

Sorry but a real man who truly loves u would want u to better yourself and not shame u for it.


Everything these ladies just said!

Go do it because if you don’t then he wins and who would want that? He’s just trying to control aspects of your life that you may be vulnerable in

Who cares what he says!!! Do what makes YOU feel good about yourself. I mean is he a POS thats just worried you’ll get smoking hot and find someone better?? Lol.

He sounds abusive and controlling :woman_shrugging:t2: if he is accusing you of ill intentions, it is probably because he has ill intentions himself.

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You are right.
Do what makes you happy and mentally stable for yourself and your children sake.
You do not need his approval for something that will make your body healthy.
If the roles were reversed you would support his decision.

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He sounds very controlling.

Do it thats his insecurities i go to the gym not to impress anyone but because i want to get myself fitter and healthier and hopefully give me more energy its helped me cause i keep wanting to give up but i get threw it qnd feel so much better

Toss the whole man out :woman_shrugging: Do not let that man stop you from doing something that you think is going to make you feel better.


Sounds like you are trying to take steps to be a healthy, happy mama and this boyfriend is sabotaging you.

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Do what you need to for you. When you feel good and are happy you are a better mom. If he loves you he will be supportive. If he is so insecure that he wants you to feel miserable so he feels better that’s a big problem. Has he always been like that or is it just now starting? In my opinion and experience guilty party points the finger. At the end of the day do what’s best for you he can suck it up and deal.

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He’s trying to control you don’t let him go work out hun you do you for your kiddos if he can not respect that than boot his ads outta your life you gotta know your worth girl

Fuck him. Go work out.
Fuck him for saying “these things are all in people’s heads”.
If he truly cared about you, he wouldn’t be mad for you wanting to take steps to become healthy, to do better. He should be on your side, a teammate, your “cheerleader” of sorts.
He’s unsupportive and judgmental trash.
And what do we do with trash?

Who cares what he says? Take care of yourself and if he has an issue with it he can take care of himself.

Tell him to stop being insecure . You wanna look good for yourself there’s nothing wrong e it. It’ll keep your mind busy too

It sounds like he is insecure and he needs to work on his own issues, do what makes you feel good, and be healthy for your babies!! :two_hearts:

Let him be mad …make your self feel better

Join the ymca, it’s affordable and the age limit of the daycare is 6 weeks, much younger than most gyms!

No. No. No.
Go to the Dr and go to the F’n gym, girl.
Do you!!

If you feel like you should work out for your health,do need to.its a coping mechanism and a healthy one as long as ita not taken too far. Secondly dont let anyone shame you.if you feel like you need to see your doctor do it.
I say this.i have a 4 month old son and I have suffered with anxiety and depression almost all my life. And anxiety and depression is mostly in your head. Just like diabetes is in your pancreas.

What’s he doing??? hmmm jealousy is a sign someone’s not being honest.

Tell him exactly how you feel about it. My man always says stupid stuff like that when I say I wanna lose weight but it don’t bother me if I wanted someone else I’d be w someone else :woman_shrugging:t3:

Drop him. He’s toxic

Wow that’s messed up… Girl you do it anyways don’t let what he said get to you… You definitely deserve better.

sounds like your bf is being very controlling. exercise is good for everyone and has multiple benefits both physically and mentally. you are in no way wrong for wanting to take care of yourself in a healthy manner. have you suggested he work out with you? many couples work out together

Work out girl it will make you feel much better he can join you or be mad or leave the choice is his.

If it were me, I would do all these things anyway. He really sounds horrible if he’s trying to keep you from doing those things that will make you feel better.

You need to be healthy to take care of your babies. Mentally and physically. If he doesn’t understand that, he can fuck himself.

Wow. Working out is so beneficial to your mental health. I would think that he would enjoy being with someone that wants to take care of themselves. As long as you are not neglecting him, I really don’t see what the problem is…

leave him ? what i jus heard was he wants you to stay the same an i know how it is i need to lose weight too an if my husband was saying that i was doing it for the attention of other people id say no it’s for me to feel better an if he didn’t believe me THATS HIS PROBLEM do you girl dont let no man hold you back from being happy regardless if he’s the father of your children be happy in every way bc your children need a healthy happy mother :heart:

Toxic. Controlling. Don’t put up with that.

Your dudes insecure be careful, I sense some narcissistic behavior

This is what you do.
First, you go see your doctor. Get that situation under control.
Next, you go work out.

He’s your boyfriend, not your father.

You take care of you so that you so that you can be the best mother to your children. It sounds like he needs to take care of him also

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put your big girl pants on and tell him to sit down.
you are more than a vessel, more than your body, more than a mother. if he’s not encouraging you & your happiness, he ain’t on your team sis. if you need to exercise to feel better overall. DO IT. your job is that baby (or those babies) and they need their momma to be calm, cool and collected.


Tell him to shove it, you make yourself feel great

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If you decide not to rid yourself of this control freak, tell him you & him need to go to therapy so he can understand your feelings because he’s not listening to what you’re telling him. Communication is so important in a relationship! Good luck!

Let him be mad. It’s YOUR body, YOUR mental health :tipping_hand_woman:t2:

Sorry hun when u have mental problems its not in ur head and if ur partner doesn’t support u on ur mental health issues then u need to find a new partner a REAL MAN wouldn’t feel insurities of u being healthy mind and body I hope u see he is trying to control u don’t fall into that get out while u still can! I will be praying for ya

Get rid of him. Take care of yourself so you can take care of your babies. PUT HIM OUT

Take care of you and be healthy for those kids. He nor his insecure opinion does not matter! Be you. Be strong.

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Fuck him. You do you. Don’t let him control you! This is also a HUGE red toxic flag that will probably lead to bigger issues down the road. Put your foot down and say “this is what I’m doing and you need to figure out a way to be ok with it” I work out everyday and have had nothing but unwaivering support from my husband. He does nothing but praises my changing body bc he sees how happy it is making me and all the good affects of it. Your boyfriend sounds like an asshole,sorry not sorry.

Your boyfriend sounds insecure. Ask him to work out with you?

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Don’t let him control you do whatever makes you happy

Yea, he is controlling and insecure.

You ain’t married to him so his opinion is poop! Do your thing, mama! Don’t let no man control you😘

Sounds like he’s controlling and insecure.

My husband said the same thing to me when I wanted to go to the gym

People still have relationships like this??? Olivia Claire Smith

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Screw him. Get healthy for YOU

Your mental health will never get better if you have someone like him around. He needs to support you or move on.


Um. PPD is not in your head. It’s a real medical condition. Tell him that he gets no opinion on whether or not you want to work out or see your doctor. These things don’t involve him in any way.
Also, he sounds insecure af and probably needs to work on that.

He sounds toxic and ignorant. His opinion is exactly that. His opinion. Not facts.
See your doctor. Work out if you want to. Do whatever you need to do to feel better again. Your babies need a healthy mommy. But they also need a happy mommy and if you are unhappy then maybe you need to make some changes in your life and relationship to be happy.

Controlling and insecure. My mom wasn’t allowed to brush her teeth, do her hair, or paint her nails because my father thought she was trying to impress other men. It only escalated from there to much worse things. Don’t see the signs too late. Take care of you and your littles. Good luck.

Girl do what makes u feel good i have a 5 month old and when i got pregnant i was working out 5 days a week for a hour before work it helped with depression and self confidence

Take care of yourself, and talk to him genuinely about his own insecurities. Maybe working out together is an option? If he wont get on board with your desire to better yourself and be healthier, he needs to go.

That’s not very supportive at all.:disappointed: he sounds very insecure.

He’s insecure if he is upset that you want to work out. You are wanting to get in shape and improve your over all health and he is acting like an insecure manchild. He needs to get over it. Workout and do your thing. He can’t control what you do and don’t let him. Don’t allow him to control you because that is exactly what he is trying to do. If he wins at this he will continue to try to control other things. If he loves you he would want what is best for you.

Leave and focus on you. His insecurities are only going to make it worse on you.

Wow. Screw that guy. Run away

Girl it sounds like you know you and your intentions and if he’s insecure he’s just gonna have to be insecure. DO NOT EVER let anybody stop you from making yourself better, because that’s exactly what he’s trying to do. Sounds super toxic and I’d have him go to counseling with you ASAP and if he doesn’t then he doesn’t value you or your relationship. In fact if he valued you he wouldn’t be putting you through this. What is the alternative? Be depressed with anxiety? Overweight? Not in a healthy state of mind and body to live your life and take care of your kids? Be the best you and if he doesn’t want to be a part of it and support you then he shouldn’t be your partner and he will fall off and land where he’s supposed to

Kick him to the curb

Oohh that’s full blown narcissistic behavior. He’s trying the manipulation route on mental health is all in your head crap… You just had a baby so you dont need the stress right now and need to worry about you … But he needs to be called out in his behavior once you feel strong enough. Work out, go to the doctor, do what you need to do to be healthy for you and your babies. He sounds jealous and, is trying to hold you back

I’d be bouncing and saying boy bye.

Never not do you! Especially for those kids. Mommy is sad kids suffer. I know he is ur husband but he should be worried about the kids and you being happy not himself and his insecurities

That’s such a toxic mentality. You need to take care of you!! Don’t let him make you feel like you can’t or that you have an ulterior motive for wanting to work out.

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Girl the only weight you really need to drop is that whole man. Trust me on that.


Sounds like your bf is insecure do it for you

My ex husband was like this so I signed up for a gym went everyday and he eventually started going with me to watch me he thoughts I was cheating haha said the same I was wanting to get skinny to leave him for other guys .i lost the weight from my body and he left me for someone else .so domt ua e to deal with him around anymore he left states and divorced me lol I’m better off without him

So was the first child with someone else, or did he have some kind of brain injury in between that has led to this sudden paranoia? Why are you with someone who is that insecure? What a turn off. Did you come from an abusive home? I’m betting you did. Probably your last relationship was abusive too. Because normal people don’t put up with that shit. Get back on meds and start working out. He doesn’t control your health or your body. Period. And if he tries to stop you, leave him. Call the cops. It’s abuse. And if he doesn’t, good. Then when you feel better, dump that 0, and get with a… you know what? Just stay single because you have children and you may not be good at picking men.

PPD is very real
Hell, tell him to shove it where the sun dont shine.
Work out, feel better, do good things for yourself. If he doesn’t like it that’s his problem.

Blunt here. Tell to shut the fuck up and do what makes you feel good. He’s insecure and he needs to get over it. I can’t stand a “man” that tried to control you just to ensure youre not going anywhere.

He sounds very toxic to your mental health. He needs to talk with someone as well to help him to understand mental health better, and to help him through his insecurities.

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That’s extremely toxic and abusive. If anything he should be the exact opposite and be incredibly supportive of you. That’s messed up


Just work out. Lol he doesn’t have a play by play of your day

Girl you need some Lizzo in your life. Loop her music 24hrs a day!

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I feel like men are not sending us their best people


He sounds toxic and controlling

He sounds possessive and needs therapy for his insecurity

Sounds like you know the answer hun
If you allow yourself to be controlled and you end up falling into that depression before catching yourself your going to feel very insecure and low about your self and gradually let yourself go and then he would most probably look the other way :disappointed: be confident to do what makes you happy and makes you feel good for not just yourself but as a mother!! How you feel impacts your mothering 100%
You’ve got this! I’m in my transition of this at the moment :heart:

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Depression + working out= is the best medicinev


Exercize. He is just holding you back and afraid. Think he protests too much.

Red flag. Run. It’s abusive and toxic.

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Yeah, he’s not the one for you.

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