My boyfriend and I are expecting our first baby together. She is due in one month, my boyfriend was born Roman catholic, he’s very strict with his religion and it’s very important to him. I respect him and his religion… However, he told me he wants our daughter baptized shortly after she is born. I know how important that is to him and his religion. But, I know nothing about this religion… I told him I’d like to go to church and see it for myself as well because I don’t really like that our baby will be baptized in something I have no idea what it’s even about. But I also know how important that is for him and I want him to be happy. But he told me no matter what, she will be getting baptized in the church. It kind of hurts knowing that I don’t have much of a say, I feel like we should decide this together because I feel religion is a huge thing and I should at least experience the church myself, right? Or, am I just making this too big a deal. I’ve never been super religious so that’s why I’m asking, should I just let it go since he’s very religious and it’s important to him and his religion?
I think it’s important too, if you don’t believe… what does it hurt?
There’s nothing wrong with getting baptized
I would go to church and see how you feel, you might be all for it agree with the baptism and it won’t even be a fight. However he definitely should have worded it differently and showed that he cared about your feelings as well. I would sit and talk to him about it and clear the air. Then go to church see how you feel.
My children were baptized as babies and then again when they made that choice when they were old enough to understand. 
I was in your situation
Not knowing much about church and religion but I did baptized all our children as it ment alot to hubby and is family
Hubby took all our children to church on Sundays and on special occasions I would go too
This is VERY important for him. You just may need to be graceful and support him in this. Remember… it won’t harm your child. It will make him happy. Pick wisely
“If you can’t beat them…join them”!..try and get to know more about his faith/religion…get involved and let him walk you through his faith and beliefs…a united family is a good environment for your babies to thrive in…
He most definitely is not "strict’ on his religious beliefs or you wouldn’t be having sex or a baby outside of marriage. However I honestly wouldn’t make a huge deal out of it. Just bc your baptized don’t mean your stuck. My husband was raised catholic and went thru communion and hasn’t stepped Into a church sense aside for our God daughters baptism and his grandparents funerals. Save the fight let her get baptized and then just let her make her own decisions when she gets older.
My ex was really religious too. He wouldn’t eat meat on Fridays during lent, but he would have premarital sex. Sounds like they practiced the same idea of religion…. The rules that benefit them.
Clearly he’s not that religious since you had sex before marriage and are having a child out of Wedlock. I’m Jewish and told my daughter’s father I’d be raising our daughter that way. At the time he didn’t care until years later when he got married. Luckily he’s very supportive of my choice .
Prayers for you in Jesus mighty name Amene
I understand how you feel… but in the grand scheme of life this is a blip… I would do it and keep the peace.
In his eyes, it saves your baby’s soul. If you don’t believe, your baby is gonna get splashed with some water. I don’t personally think it’s a big deal either way and would let him have that comfort.
My daughters are baptized. It’s a battle between good and evil. Baptize her!
I mean if you’re still pregnant you have time to go. So go with him and sit in church! Learn about it! You have time! Don’t wait for him to say “yeah okay let’s wait so you can learn” to start learning. Take initiative and just start learning!
If this is ya’ll’s biggest battle I am happy for ya. Cuz this one is easy- Baptize the baby WITH him. Do this as a family and learn something about what makes your man happy. He wants to protect his child. The ritual is a great experience filled with love. You’ll earn some more respect too. Just for learning about something that’s important to him. Win/Win
This is his child too and should have been discussed beforehand. This is important to him because he loves your child, I’d let it go. Sometimes we gotta compromise.
Very serious about his religion but he was engaging in premarital sex and having a baby out of wedlock, pretty big issues in that religion, so he mustn’t be that serious about it. It’s why I stopped attending the church. I divorced my first husband. Then sat through a sermon about living in sin if you were with remarried and didn’t have the first annulled or not married in the church. Etc.
Maybe this should’ve been discussed before you created a life together. No one wins in this situation no matter what decision is made.
I think u should let it go, it’s not important to you but it is important to him, if nothing else look at like a blessing for your child
Both my kids are baptized so I am all for it. But who said you don’t have a say? My church on the paperwork it says both parents have to agree. My kids got baptized without the dad cuz they weren’t in the picture but unless he says you’re not in the picture he can’t baptized him without you agreeing
Tell him when he marries you sure
Why wasnt a this worked out before you even got married and definately before you started to breed with him… to see if your even going to be married…
Just as much as you grant his wishes he should grant yours.
Don’t do it if it’s something you’re not comfortable with. You have a lot of say!
He’s the parent to. He has just as many right to her as you do. I do agree with Alicia Juarez advice.
Back in the day the RC Church wouldn’t baptise my son as I was unmarried, so I went home & baptised him myself. We were taught back then it was important to be baptised to move through life. I would have to say that it is a blessing for your child, however I do understand your side of this decision. It’s sad that you are both in different minds on the subject. Maybe ask your partner why he wants this for your child so you have a clear explanation.
Wishing you all good! ⚘️
Let him do this as it has no effect on the baby whatsoever!!
Been there, done that… let him have that day… it certainly isn’t gonna hurt. I was totally against it but went ahead because he wanted it so badly!
You are right you should discuss it and check it out yourself but at the same time what could it hurt? There is no danger to the child
My husband wasn’t raised to believe in any kind of religion. Since I was, he left that decision to me and our children were baptized.
You 100% have a say and if not he doesn’t respect you…that’s not ok. It should be a mutual decision
I don’t think anyone can tell you what you should do. Religion is something the children may embrace and they may not as they get older. I was born into a strict Catholic family and now non my siblings or myself attend church however we are good kind people who made up our own minds when we were older. As a child the Catholic Church did have a sense of community and taught me a great deal of social and emotional life skills.
Its a very important step and you both need to agree and want it, Im sorry but it sounds like he is a bit of a control man. It is not up to just him as you have as much right to decide what happens with your daughter. Tell him you want to learn more about his religion.
Baptism takes away original sin and is such a special sacrament In Our faith…Just try to bend a little and know it’s his faith and so many in the catholic church …pray for your little one! He only wants the best fir his child
I gave my boys the gift of faith. Best gift ever!
Firstly did u know he was super religious and everything prior or not long after u guys got together? How long u been wit him of a long time maybe u should of looked into a bit more hun … I’d defo start going.wit him when he does and maybe rearsch his religion
Has he just sprung this on you or has it been mentioned prior xx
"baptism"of a baby is meaningless until the child is of the maturity of knowing they are accountable for their actions and understands the importance of putting trust in Christ true repentance…the Only way for Eternal life and insuring 100% you will have a home in heaven one day soon…dear one Trust him now for the sake of your self and your child …praying for you!!
If he’s super religious as you stated why have sex before marriage? BF is not a legal husband therefore it’s a sin
Im Catholic and my donor disagreed with me getting my child baptized, even though have full custody
Nothing is more important in a person’s life than religion and faith. No harm can come to your child by being baptized. If your boyfriend states that his religion is important to him maybe you should look into it as well. Consider yourself blessed to have a partner that holds his religion as important. If more people embraced faith in God it would be a better world
The child can change religion
It’s definitely something that should have been discussed before having a baby but things happen and you might not have had the chance to discuss it. Research it, go and see. Let her get baptized. When she’s older she can decide to continue with that religion or go with a different one. I don’t think this is something to worry too much about. But you need to decide for yourself what you want.
Start attending church with him now already then. Before ur baby is born
Maybe try learning about it & going to the church. In reality, your daughter could end up choosing any religion. Baptism will not hurt her in any way in the end. If it’s important to him & not hurting you in any way I say, go to the church meet the pastor & see how you feel about it. My husband and I both have diff religions and at first I was kind of offended by him wanting to do his, but I realized we could do both. It’s important for your daughter to know both of your interests & religions.
Do you and he have any catholic friends.
This makes me cringe and why i hate religion some times. Sex out of wedlock…but is firm with beliefs…
From what read!
People also ask
Do both parents have to agree on baptism?
“Equal shared parental responsibility” means that both parents must agree on the baptism, confirmation, penance or preparation for reception of first holy communion.
So from what I get is if one doesn’t agree it can’t happen?if your so against it, don’t do it regardless if he does, it’s you child too!
I personally would let it go. If it was something I didn’t know much about but it was very important to the father I wouldn’t really see the harm in it I guess. It’s great you want to try and learn about why it’s important to him, though, and you still have time to do that in the next month.
You should butt out, none of your Business because you should not have had sex before marriage.
It’s meaningless. It’s just water on the head and you have a delicious brunch after. My husband is catholic, I’m a heathen. She was baptized, people came and brought large cash gifts then we had a party.
I don’t get where you believe you don’t have a say.
Unpopular but true and could be used as your case but likely will not go well.
If he is so strong and dedicated he p his faith what does it say about sex outside of marriage. (NOT judging just trying to give you a case).
Also truth: a baptism of a baby is more of a dedication unto God then anything else. A true baptism is a personal choice not the decision of anyone but self.
Which leads me to say: if your trying to honor him, you can choose to “baptize” your child knowing that you are choosing to dedicate your child into God.
I don’t know if that helps or not. I hope that either way you guys can agree on what road is taken. Super hard to feel like you don’t have a say
It’s his right. If you don’t believe it’s just a splash of water for you. Don’t bother stressing yourself out. Go to service with him it might enlighten them
I’m Roman Catholic my kids dad’s not, we left it up to him, there is no rule that babies need to be baptized asap. My son made the choice to be baptized when he was 10. If he tries the but if anything happens he won’t make it to heaven remind him God accepts all children for they are without sin. Hope this helps message me if you want more in-depth info
This isn’t a battle I would fight, personally. It’s that important to him, and I’m sure along the way there will be things YOU feel the same way about. Go to church and check it out now, you’ve had plenty of time at this point and it doesn’t seem like you’ve put in an effort to actually go. But; I agree with the others, it sounds like hes picking and choosing which aspects of his religion that he’s ‘so into’ to follow, ie; not marrying you before having this baby. That’s generally a huge no-no with the catholic church.
If your bf read the bible, he would know that you’re not suppose to baptize a baby. Baptism should be done when the child or person is old enough to make the choice for themselves and understand what it means.
Does your boyfriend attend church regularly?
Maybe im fixing to be a lil rude here but why r u having a child with a man that u don’t know anything about the biggest part of their belief system i was raised Catholic it is a very strict religion and he will insist on raising on her in that church and going to Mass soooo words of advice u have about a month to start learning and then try and go to some of the classes to convert to that religion bc they do require it so u know whats going through his head best of luck
Did you guys get married in a catholic church?
I think it’s not the baptism that is the issue, it’s the control he thinks he holds. That’s a red flag for me. You were willing to learn about the religion and things. That’s the right thing to do. But he didn’t seem to care you wanted to experience why it was so important to him. I would pay attention to these red flags. It’s not about the situation it’s about how you handle these situations as a couple together. If every time you disagree he is going to do it anyway will that not make you feel resent?
Better to err on the side of caution. Let him baptism the baby
If you’re not super religious and he is, it’s a no brainer. Let him baptize her Catholic.
He’s not super into his religion if he had a child out of wedlock. Premarital sex, birth control and children out of wedlock are big no no’s within the religion. My grandmother had to go through it all (baptism, catechism) bc her kids, in Catholic school, let out that she wasn’t baptized or Catholic. This is your child too, you’re willing to learn the religion and do it for him, he can do this for you.
Think of it as announcing the new existance of a brand new person. You’re introducing your child to the world, giving your baby a name. A naming ceremony. She’ll/ he’ll get gifts, mementos, cards, jewelry, money? ( depending on your friends/ family.) …its an occasion! The baby will have a baptismal gown,( usually long white lace gown!! beautiful!!) And have a baptismal photo taken, usually 8 by 14, to hang on the wall, and pass down to the child when they reach adulthood. It’s a very nice thing, hun. I hope you choose to do it.
Def has to be agreed on. But as experience, they can do it behind ur back, and youd never know. Courts don’t do much about it.
It’s just a blessing saying your baby is safe and will go to heaven and your baby will get God parents so it’s good all around it’s okay if you know nothing I was baptized catholic and it had no affect on my i was raised Christian . I would be thankful to you bf for making it a priority sometimes I regret not having my kid baptized cuz I threw a fit saying I’m not catholic or believe in it but all in all it’s a good thing
Maybe a conversation that should’ve happened before you chose to bring a life into the world with him.
You could just go along to church. Does your husband go being it so important to him? Have you never gone together?
If you don’t believe then it’s water… to him it’s saving his baby
Really think if this is worth the stress over it that baby is gonna decide on thier own what they believe. Let it go.
Imo, if you are religious baptism is very important. If you aren’t religious, it is nothing more than getting dunked in a bathtub. If it made my husband feel good about our kiddos soul, I would be supportive.
You only need 1 parent to sign for baptism
Let him follow his religion. You made this child together and he is part of that. Attend with him. It’s a blessing for the baby not either of you. However he is not fully religious to his faith if you two not married
‘Making her get baptized.’? My mom let us choose we were around 10 to 12 years old to decide what we wanted and it was fun it was like a party afterwards but she was culturally Baptist and we don’t baptize infants.
Aside from having sex outside of marriage, and getting you pregnant, he’s not too strict in his religion. Don’t let him do this, it is not necessary.
I think if your boyfriend was a strict Roman Catholic he would be marrying u…
You actually do have a say. Are you and the boyfriend together? A court order would insure all religious decisions be mutual. Or you can just let it happen. It doesn’t hurt the baby. When he/she is old enough they can make their own decision. I personally believe in full baptism, but that is not for a baby.
That’s the level of respect he has for you, and for her. this will be how the rest of your/her life will be run, he’ll have final say
I’d leave (but as an indigenous person who was baptized but knows nothing about the culture that screams in my veins and pours out my eyes when I hear drums … That is definitely a no go for me, every one has their reasons it up to you to do once you’ve been shown disrespect)
No. I’m all for expressing religion, but if he’s gonna be that strict on it then he should have married you before y’all had a child, he also should have been taking you to church with him if it’s that important in his life. Sounds like he has family on his back about this, cause none of this adds up fr lol I’d definitely dig deeper into it and tell whoever to mind their own! & just cause he’s the other parent doesn’t mean it goes, y’all gotta meet in the middle and if it’s something you feel strongly about, stand your ground, you could be saving your child from a lot as she grows just by creating boundaries from things that your not comfortable with, yes respect his religion but don’t do it just cause that’s what he wants, you gotta want it too. And this is your child, I don’t blame you for the concern.
Sex without being married is not religious… I’m sorry but that’s the way it is! It’s in the Bible, read it.
As a Catholic, I understand your boyfriends point of view, but as a catholic mother, I understand yours more. My girl it is absolutely your choice in where your baby will get baptized or if your baby should get baptized. Have a sit down with him, ask to visit his church, cause I’m afraid of he sees you having a problem now with baptism what about the wedding and I promise you, he will want to get married in the catholic religion
I think this is silly. Just let him baptize the kid if it’s that important to him and if like me your not religious… what difference does it make.
He’s clearly not that religious if he’s your boyfriend and not your husband. You are both the baby’s parents and have equal say in what happens with the baby in all aspects. If he doesn’t like it he can get to steppin. Sounds a bit controlling if you ask me.
Believers are suppose to date/marry fellow believers. The Bible speaks of not having an unequal yoke with a non believer.
I would suggest checking it out and let the child get baptized.
Praying for your situation. 
Have a discussion with the priest about your concerns. I have family member who converted both ways (some from Protestant to Catholic & the other way around). It’s definitely something they can decide to do differently when they’re older teens or adults. Peace of the Lord be with you. (ELCA Lutheran here). 
You knew how important it was to him and you chose to have a kids without this conversation?
I’m a non practicing catholic as I had I shoved down my throat growing up but I did have all my children baptized. It’s an important symbolism and peace of mind. It hurts nothing. It’s not a big deal. Let him have that
It’s a baby baptism they sprinkle the baby with holy water it’s like a dedication in the other churches it doesn’t sign her up for anything “the protection” of the Catholic Church and holy water.
Interesting, at best it saves her soul at worst she gets an extra sprinkle of water. His faith is wild to have premarital sex but want to get a kid baptized… but who am I. I’d compromise with a dedication and let them choose a baptism when they are able to make that choice.
He’s super religious but he didn’t marry you first 
Chile anyway
can’t be that strict if he is having a baby out of wedlock 
If hes so strict with his Roman Catholic religion … Why is he your boyfriend and not your husband … The Catholic Church says no sex befor marriage?? Just sayin 
First off if he was a real Roman Catholic he would have married you when he found out you was pregnant. But you would have had to go to marriage classes first !! Second. And it’s really not a big deal right now … my sister were baptized catholic and they are non practicing and a couple don’t even believe. If you know what I mean . And if it was a huge part of his life you and him would be going to church every Sunday . In my personal opinion I see no harm …
Should have discussed this before kids…while y’all were dating 
At last he is there for you both!
She can get baptized, thar doesn’t mean she/he has to stay with that religion
In the everchanging catholic doctrine the fundamentalist view is a person must have developed faith in order to consent to being baptized, they have a safety clause that children are good with being un-baptized until 7 years old, so without the threat of hellfire for not being baptized why dont you insist that your child make her own decision about such an important thing, let your husband sweep his own back porch from sin
He’s obviously not too into his religion if he had a baby without being married 
. He’s the father and has just as much rights to make decisions as you do. Will it really hurt to have her baptized? It’s not like it’s a blood oath to the religion or anything. She can choose her own path when she grows up. This is something she won’t even remember.
Absolutely let her if anything for better go for it it not like a cult. No demands life doesn’t change. In these times anything for the good for souls and spirit is god thing
I was baptized early on grew up in a catholic church until I was around 13-14 then went to a Baptist church. It won’t hurt the baby to be baptized, then tell hubby that baby gets to choose when old enough to understand. Compromise
I would suggest you read up on it and maybe go to church a few times and see if you follow their beliefs . If not I would stay firm on it and she can decide when she’s older . For him to say " No matter what "… yeah the conversation would have ended right there . You have a month to research or going to church yourself to check it out .
Pick and choose your battles. I would suggest reading why baptism is important to a catholic. She can always get rebaptized later on if she chooses.