Start attending church with him he obviously loves his daughter. Try learning more about his beliefs. I think end result making a stronger connection with him as a family.
How strict can he be if your giving birth unwed…js
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My ex husband is catholic, I was raised Lutheran. Neither one of us went to church outside of holidays. I didn’t really care where she was baptized so I chose her middle name and agreed to get her baptized in the Catholic Church. Then we went to the church and found out just how much we had to do, along with the god parents before they would do it and ended up going to my church anyway where they required nothing but everyone be there. 
. It’s really not that big of a deal honestly. When your child is older, they can decide whether they want to continue with it or go a different route.
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I think when the topic of religion comes into play, you both need to sit down and discuss it in detail besides putting your foot down yes or no. Because while you may not be religious, and he is religious, you’re talking about a child. Personally, I feel like religion should be decided for by the child when they get old enough with exposure to both sides of the coin. As a child, I was made to go to church and hated it. My child doesn’t know religion but I wouldn’t be against her wanting to go with her family because she’s her own person.
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If his religion is so important to him, he should have married you first before getting pregnant.
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I am not sure where you live but most Catholic churches will not baptize a baby if you two are not married. And I hate to say it but he is not a strict Catholic. They are very against sex before marriage.
So this is extremely important to him. How “unimportant” is it to you? If that makes sense. I’m surprised you haven’t checked out his religion yet at this point. That being said, maybe bring up to him that she can choose later on. Does he want to take her to church? I’m also curious how strongly religious he is if you two are not married and having a child. Lots of factors here.
To some religion is a huge deal; we fight wars over it. To others it’s just another thing to believe in that makes them happy. I was baptized into the catholic church 3 weeks after being born. It didn’t affect my life in the slightest; when I was old enough to decide what I wanted to do organized religion wasn’t it so I didn’t pursue it. It should be discussed and it should be a mutual thing. If it’s not, then it will be a source of contention in your relationship
Just so you know, babies are born into sin. Not sinful. They aren’t old enough to know about sin. Our church doesn’t baptize babies.
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I mean… If you don’t believe in religion, then It’s just a sprinkle of water.
It’s not like he’s asking you to do something that will permanently effect her. I know plenty of people that were baptized when they were little that don’t follow any religion now. And they honestly don’t care that they were baptized. It’s not a contract or anything. It’s a bit of water and a blessing over the child.
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Baptism in the Catholic Church washes away original sun and allows and welcomes you as a child of God!!I am catholic and my husband was not it would have been a deal breaker for me if he didn’t agree!!learn about the religion it’s a beautiful religion!
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Ntah
You have a right to say what is done with your child. Being parents(together in relationship)is about being on the same page when raising children. You have asked to see what it’s about ur self before making a decision. You haven’t said no and he needs to respect that.
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IMO
It’s important because it’s about the soul of your child. I wouldn’t baptize my child’s soul within a religion that I didn’t know anything about or didn’t believe in.
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He can’t be a “true” RC if he had sex before marriage and you are unwed. Take that back to him. No one should “force” You to do anything with your child. He may have issues finding a priest to agree to do so if you are not married in the church’s eyes also. Of course this depends on the church- BUT it’s very possible. I had trouble just because my ex husband was Jewish.
I was baptized and Catholic schools. I don’t go to church unless it’s a wedding or something. All my kids were baptized and the whole nine yards. Only one or my grand children are baptized today, and only so she could go to a Catholic private school.
I mean, I was raised a catholic. I was baptized, went through communion and confirmation. I went to church with my dad on Sundays, did CCD classes. I’m now 33 and don’t really identify as religious. I consider myself a catholic, but I haven’t been to a church mass since I was a teen. My dad went to church every Sunday. Did lent, ash Wednesday, Easter. We did also. But once I was a teen, I was able to be like eh I don’t feel like going. Ans my parents didn’t force me. They weren’t like “you must go or hell for you”. So I feel a talk would be beneficial where you mention going about the baptism, but as your daughter gets older and starts discovering herself, she isn’t “forced” to stay a catholic or to practice if that isn’t something she wants to do.
But he wasn’t religious enough to marry you first…just saying
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I was a strict Jehovahs witness when I married my first husband and I wish I could rewind time and respect what he wanted for our kids just as much as what I wanted. Remember it’s his kid too. A little holy water isn’t going to kill her. She will make her own choices when she is older.
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It doesn’t really count until you can choose for yourself.
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I wouldn’t baptise if you’re not comfortable yet. Try to drag it out and attend church together first.
It won’t hurt to get the baby baptized, he/she will get the chance to elect her/his religion before he/she receives the sacrament of confirmation 
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My daughter went to classes and his church and actually got baptized herself before marriage. Was this not discussed prior to your marriage?
No offense…, but if he is that religious than why isn’t he wanting to get married???
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Honestly a baptism from what I have been told and have come to understand is simply just water. It’s more the symbolism behind it that means something. It can be done by sprinkling or full submersion depending on the belief of the person. With sprinkling I think it’s done more with babies and children and is seen as a saving of their souls which I think is a sweet gesture. The full submersion type of baptism from my understanding is chosen by the person being baptized and is meant to represent their belief that Jesus died, was buried, and rose again (the going under the water like a burial and then rising up again) as well as is a public declaration of their faith. Even if you do not believe is your partners chosen religion or faith at the end of the day the way I see it is that it’s just water, your child won’t know the difference, and it will mean a lot to your partner even simply having your love and support for something that means so much to him. To me just hearing that he wishes for the babe to be baptized shows me that he truly cares and loves this child and she’s not even earth side yet. That’s a pretty amazing bond already and such a special thing to see with a father to his child.
Baptism is different in different religions, I think everyone is posting and saying make the choice later is referring to a Christian baptism. In other religions it’s more so christening or a form of blessing the baby. I would do some research and get a better understanding and attend church with him.
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OPs response wasn’t out of line or even asking much. I would absolutely refuse to allow my kid to be baptized into a religion i know nothing about. I’m honestly against kids being indoctrinated, period, they should get the option when they’re old enough to understand. But in this case, when the two parents have different views, they need to be able to compromise and the boyfriend seems to be unwilling to do so. OP should absolutely put her foot down, if he isn’t willing to talk things through to a resolution both can live with then he’s being incredibly selfish and no longer gets a say.
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This baptism won’t do anything for her. She has to make the choice herself to be baptized.
Does it hurt the baby? No.
I feel like neither parent should have a say over the other, it should be a mutual decision. You should absolutely go and see for yourself. I also feel though that if you aren’t religious or have your own church,is it really going to affect anything if he does have her baptized? I mean to noon religious people it’s just simply some water, (unless it’s longer of these aggressive types of religions where they toss the baby around in the water, I wouldn’t go for that, that’s honestly the big thing I would look into because I wouldn’t allow that) but it IS important to him. The important thing is that you go and see what it’s about, and how they actually perform the baptism
In Catholicism the child takes on the fathers religion. So your boyfriend thinks he has that right. If the fundamental beliefs are the same and you are both Christian there’s really nothing lost. Especially as you say you are not religious. Definition: A christening is a ceremony that welcomes someone into the Christian church. So does it matter which Christian church.
I was baptized as an infant. As an adult I came to faith in Jesus Christ as my savior. As an adult, I was baptized to show my public profession of faith. My mother and other Catholics will say to those that converted from Catholicism that they were born a Catholic. Catholic family say once baptized as an infant you were saved into the Catholic faith. It does mean a lot to Catholics to be baptized as an infant. As others have said they believe that sells the original sin for child. You should probably go down to his Catholic church and take classes on baptism which might be required.
Personally… I think you should remember this is his baby too and if he’s serious about it you should allow it. It really doesn’t have anything to do with you, respectfully… if you feel like you should be a part of it then make yourself a part of it… it’s def not hurting anything or anyone. Get involved 🩵
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I hope someone reads here post and hopefully learn from it. … Before entering into marriage or having kids with your partner it’s very important to discuss there’s things…
If he was that good of a catholic you wouldn’t be having a baby without marriage. And it really doesn’t mean anything to be baptized at that age . She is not joining a cult does your boyfriend go to church regularly participate in the church activities . Recieve communion .
Probably will start something but if he is so religious why aren’t you married?
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Ok, i could be wrong but if he is strong orthodox catholic shouldnt you be married before discussing the baptism of your child
My ex is atheist . I’m catholic. I made it very simple. Baptising our kids doesn’t affect their choice to be atheist if they choose that as they get older. Not being baptised does affect their choice to be involved fully in a choice of religion if they choose that in the future. They will learn both beliefs as they grow up and neither will be forced. So with that our boys are baptised. One has a close connection to God. One couldn’t care less. Simple as that .
It’s not going to hurt anyone by getting her baptized. I was raised Roman Catholic and can tell you that rituals and traditions are a huge part of the religion. I honestly find it hard to believe that this is just coming up now so close to your child’s birth. Please just honor his beliefs and move forward to gain a greater understanding of the religion and move forward in honest communication on how you want your child to be raised.
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My family had a fit when I refused to baptize my kids. If its important to you then fight about it. I think people should find their own path once they’re developed.
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I’m confused, you knew that religion was extremely important to your boyfriend and it never occurred to you that he would want your baby baptized and brought up in that religion?
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Start researching asap. I must say he’s not “strict” about his religion or he would not be having a child out of wedlock and his relationship with you would have been different. I’m not saying anything against you or him just stating facts
If you arnt a believer then you would assume the water was “just” water which shouldn’t matter then. But if you are a believer then you would also understand that being baptized is a blessing and it doesn’t matter what religion did it just as long as it was for Jesus 
either way no biggie 
Pick your battles girl.This will not affect your daughter in anyway but will comfort your partner.Do some research for yourself and you may feel a little better
While he may think that no matter what she will be baptized, in the real world, the Roman Catholic one, they would never baptize a child without both parents consent. So unless he plans on making up some lie, which would completelyyyy contradict the whole baptism in itself then rest assure he can’t just snap his fingers and make that happen.
I would ask him to take you to church, or sit with the priest, or there’s so many options for you to take a peek into what that religion is all about. In order for a child to be baptized, you would at minimum need to attend a baptismal class beforehand. This is the child’s first sacrament, it’s not a hot dog stand where they just hand them out, and the church takes their practices very seriously.
Being baptized is beautiful, but it is also my religion and one that I understand.
If it’s something you’d like to explore for the sake of your baby, then you’ll find a way to learn more about it with or without his input. Maybe that’s even better because your opinion will be unbiased. But no matter what you choose, go in with an open mind, and an open heart and whatever higher power you do believe in, they’ll guide you the way you need to go.
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My question to you is how many other things will you go along with if he says you have no say so? You are Mom, you have a say so too. Now is the time to establish boundaries and get everything set before baby gets here. He is using his religion to FORCE you to do what he wants with baby. I see NO reason you can’t go attend the church and see how you feel about it, or even wait til baby is bigger so kid can go and see if it is for them then get baptized of their own accord. Having a baby isn’t one sided, you BOTH can make the decisions, and things you disagree on you can compromise on.
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I’m baptized. We are not religious in any way and it did not effect me growing up either lol. I got a cross and documents of it (lost long ago) you just assign god parents if anything were to happen to you and your spouse the child would go to them. Other than that… it makes a lick of difference
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The way I see it, well first of all yall should be agreeing on things not just doing what one wants. Anyway the way I see it is for him it’s extremely important to be baptized. In his religion he is saving her soul and he is putting her closer to christ (I was raised catholic too), and to u if you’re not religious or don’t believe those things then baptizing her won’t hurt one bit. If you’re not a believer then she’s literally just getting a little dip in some water. I’m not religious at all and my daughters dad comes from a very religious family. They were very adamant on having her baptized and I was okay with it because it meant nothing to me and wasn’t hurting her in any way. We broke up when she was just a few months so it didn’t happen but I’d say let him do the one thing that means the world to him. For anyone religious but especially catholics baptism is very important
My husband is Catholic and I am not. We did not get married in the church. He keeps insisting that we get our girls baptized in the catholic church but everything I’ve read, said I would need to convert, that there’s classes, ect. And the person we chose as our babies Godmother is a lesbian and wouldn’t be accepted as a God parent within the church, so I have held my ground, and currently our girls are not baptized.
Should have figured this out before having kids honestly. If he is that strict, why are you unmarried? Religion is one of the biggest things known to divide people. It’s not fair for him to say she’s getting baptized regardless, but it’s also not fair for you to say no without a legitimate reason.
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My daughters were baptized catholic because of their father even though I am a non practicing Jew. I just figured it wouldn’t hurt them and it was better to have a religion than no religion at all. They are both adults now and non practicing but they had a choice.
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Why don’t people have these discussions before procreating? 
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My parents let me decide when o was old enough maybe tell him that you’re open to the idea but that your daughter has a right to choose for herself.
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Religion in just itself is man made. Believing in God the Father and that Jesus was sent to die on a cross for remission of our sins, and having a PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP with Him is the only way to heaven!!
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You’ve known about his religion and been with him for over 9 months if you’re having a baby with him - how much longer do you need, to learn about his religion ? Just sayin’
I think for such a “strict catholic” he should have listened to Sky Daddy and been married before becoming an earth daddy but hey what do I know 
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It’s just symbolic of his beliefs so symbolically respecting him should not hurt anything.
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My mom wanted my kids done, but we couldn’t find a catholic church that would do it because I was unwed. Never pursued it further. It’s really not a big deal to have it done
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It is obviously very important to him to have his child baptized so I do not understand turning him down or making an issue out of it. In the Catholic faith, it is believed that babies MUST be baptized to wash away their original sins. Otherwise, your baby’s soul could be trapped in limbo for all eternity. I completely understand why he feels so strongly about this if he holds this belief dear. You do not need to be involved in the church or even agree with what they stand for, but if you love your husband and child you will agree. It won’t hurt you in the slightest to have your child baptized. It will, however, hurt your husband if you refuse. Is that really worth it to you?
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If he’s a strict catholic he shouldn’t be having a baby out of wedlock. So I call shenanigans.
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Many parents and churches want the child to decide for him or herself when older. He is only your boyfriend and y’all aren’t married. He should respect your opinion as well. Who knows? She might even choose to be baptized Catholic or she may choose to use her free agency and become a Protestant or no religion at all. And it’s certainly possible the two of you may not even ever decide to marry or stay married if you do. Regardless of what age she is, even if she has been baptized Catholic, she can still decide when she’s older to make another choice different than what adults have decided for her while too young to decide for herself. I have several friends that were baptized Catholic when babies that made a different decision when old enough to make their own choice. God will help you and her. Pray about it. 
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If he’s so religious why hasn’t he married you
If he was such a good catholic he probably would be marrying his pregnant girlfriend right now, but whatever…
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If he is so into religion why not get married 1st and then baptize your baby
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If it really matters to him but doesn’t matter to you then get her baptized. You’ll have much bigger battles. Plus when she is older it will be her choice if she follows a faith, baptism or not.
Honestly, the whole point of baptism is supposed to be turning your life over to “god” and washing away sins. It’s weird people do it to babies when they can’t understand it and haven’t sinned lol personally I don’t believe in any of it so I’d just see it as them splashing some water on them lol if it’s that important to him I’d just let him do it
If the Catholic religion were so important to him, he would not have a child out of wedlock period. You’re the Mom and you have a say.
You could get the kid baptised… There is still a First Communion and a Confirmation before they are full members of the Church and it doesn’t prevent them from converting to another faith, nor from becoming an Atheist.
In my belief babies are born innocent and they have to make that choice when they reach a certain age whether they believe in being saved and all that. I also would never force religion of any kind on my child. Mine goes to a Christian school, I was raised Christian but as he gets older and understands more and can ask questions he can make those decisions for himself.
Being baptized is a wonderful thing. Make it a beautiful day for your family. Most religious private schools will never except anyone who is not baptized. Your child can always decide later.
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I let my children choose these things as adults and they get no religion as children
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Baptism… What happened with getting a marriage license.
Um if his religion was that important the baby would have never been made you are not married run
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Infant Baptism has been practiced since apostolic times. Infants need to be baptized because through this Sacrament, they are freed from Original Sin and are welcomed into the community of the Church, where they have access to the fullness of the means of salvation.
This is why it’s so important to Catholics but you decide whatever you want to do.
My son had children with a non Catholic woman and it was devastating to me to not have the children baptized but I am the grandmother and not the parent so I had no say in it or intervened. I do however always bless my grandchildren. I teach them a little about the Catholic Church.
So he’s a Sinner, he Sinned. And now he wants baby to be Baptized. Crazy!!!
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is it more important for you that she isn’t baptised ? then it is for him that she is?
we are not religious but it was my ex husbands wishes that we baptised the kids.
i am an athetist i laughed and i did it for him and his family ,
it makes no difference to life , they don’t walk around holier or happier lol .
it’s literally some water on there head.
the only great thing that’s been a positive in it was that we applied for a private high school and having our son baptised meant he could attend there.
so it’s not all negative.
don’t look so much into it and stress.
just go with it, if religion means nothing to you who cares just do it for him and his family
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Roman Catholics believe in “original sin”. Original sin is forgiven thru baptism. If this means that much to him, I would baptize your child. Once your child is old enough to decide, your child can always change religions. Just because you’re baptized doesn’t mean that you can’t learn other religions and choose something different. In the end, the original sin would be gone
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Just let him do it. It’s all superstitious nonsense. It won’t hurt the child
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Pick your battles. A baby getting some water dripped on her head is not that serious to be upset about. I promise you’ll have more important things to fight about. But if it’s important to him, do it! You aren’t the only one who made her and if it really does mean she will be forgiven by God one day, we’ll then she’s quite protected. At least he isn’t saying no matter what she will be sold into human traffickibg
If he is religious this should have definitely been a conversation before kid’s. If your not and don’t think it matter I’m not sure why you would care that water is out in baby. This is his baby to and isn’t going to hurt LO so not sure why argue about it.
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When your child is older he/she will decide for themself.
If he was a strict Roman catholic, he would be your husband not your boyfriend. Go check things out for yourself
Surely you would have spoken about that prior to getting pregnant since he’s so religious?
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Should have checked church out befor this. You went into relationship knowing it was very important to him. Yes both should decide, but that should have been talked about earlier on.
Having her baptized dosent mean she will stay or even be that religion. But will help him cope. She should be given the opertunity to experience and learn then when older make her own decision. Also I would be exploring his religion , if I don’t have one. If you love him put his mind at ease and talk and make this a special occasion for you all.
Should have discussed this and probably other things before moving forward
.
It’s one of those things that should be discussed before having children.
??? And not married b4 baby is born. Religious people get married to honour their relationship in front of God, community, family and friends. Go along the baptism, just remember it’s a promise to raise your child with God at your side. While you’re at it, propose to your boyfriend and go take classes before you are married. A lot if things need to be discussed between you and your boyfriend.
Don’t you know him well enough know xx
Religion and faith can be real dealbreakers. Being baptized is a good step for any person who wants to continue in most faiths. Whether Catholic or not. You can go to Mass and check things out. If he wants to take her to Mass and do that for her then so be it.
Both you need to wait til the child is old enough to make their own decisions about it… No one should be forcing religion on any one. Teach the baby as they grow about the religion and let them decide further
IMO That should be something your daughter chooses when she is able to make those kinds of choices for herself.I also don’t think you’re wrong for wanting to experience it for yourself.
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As a Roman Catholic, he can’t be too into his religion if he and you are not married , and have a child, no offence, but not sure if the church would even baptize your child with out you both being married and invested in the religion
But now the reason that it’s important to baptize the child is so that the child can be cleared of original sin.
Things like this should be discussed prior to having kids, but it’s not like it’s gonna hurt the child, it’s more symbolic and faith based, and if the child doesn’t follow the religion later in life , absolutely no harm has been done
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Why can’t he have a say? Why is it always what the mom wants
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Looks like u would have learned his religion before dating him and definitely before having kids with him! I personally think the child should grow up and choose it’s own religion!!
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Have you guys ever discussed religion? If it is this important to him then the topic should have come up before now. Does this mean he wants to raise the baby catholic? Counseling may be a good way for the two of you to have a conversations about how you want your child raised.
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Where I live. Our tradition is to get baby baptized asap… as soon as she’s born. As she is “a child of god”
I’m not really religious myself I used to be… but all of my kids got baptized.
It’s literally dipping a baby heads in water. It doesn’t actually mean or do anything. Just let him do it. Pick your battles if this is really the man you want to spend the rest of your life with.
Very Religious!!! Why is he having sex without being married and having a baby without being married??? If sooooooooo Religious!!! Ppl kill me with all this bull💩…. Pick and choose what’s good for them!!!
No, your not wrong to feel this way. You need to talk more about it and come to an agreement. He should not force this on you and your daughter.
“Infants need to be baptized because through this Sacrament, they are freed from Original Sin and are welcomed into the community of the Church, where they have access to the fullness of the means of salvation.” I was raised Roman Catholic. I did baptism all the way to confirmation. Went to catholic schools, the whole nine. Now as an adult I believe there is God but I don’t practice. I do believe our souls go somewhere else when the time comes and baptism is what it says above as well as a community thing. When we went the whole church was singing a beautiful song and smiled seeing my daughter and then son. I personally am not for the communion and confirmation but even my husband who is not very religious thought it was a good idea. We picked great godparents and it was special. I get that it’s not what you’re comfortable with and not know much about, then express that and go to church once and even. Meet with the priest and read up on the religion yourself. I think that if you make the deal with him that you both show your child your own beliefs when they are older it would be a good compromise. Considering it does mean so much to him and his faith just make the effort to try to understand and go from there.
Both my husband and I are Catholic but only one of our kids is baptized. That being said we BOTH had to consent to have her baptized and both needed to complete the course needed to baptize her. I grew up in a very religious household and it wasn’t the best so now we’ve decided to let them choose if they want to be baptized once they’re older.