My boyfriend is making our daughter get baptized against my wishes....advice?

Every soul will have to choose for themselves as to what they want to believe. Just because someone may be baptized and raised in a certain faith, it’s not a guarantee that they will choose to remain in that faith, so I don’t see any harm in letting him have that, seeing as you don’t follow any particular religion yourself.

I thought churches needed permission from both parents or wait until they are 18

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My husband and I will be letting our children decide if they want to get baptized that’s not my choice to make for them it will mean more to them if they decide to do it on there own with that being said it’s your relationship I would just voice your opinion

Boyfriend is not boss. Mutual agreement and he should be considerate of her feelings. You kid comes before any man. He has went too far.

Yall are CRAZY mfs. I say no. Don’t let some pedo dunk your child in a bath tub. Idc. Of course this is something you should talk about before even having the kid

Here’s my thing baptizing a little baby okay so what does that mean exactly? The baby itself doesn’t know what being baptized means it has no idea what religion even is at that age. It would probably be better to raise the child up in church and baptize it when it can understand the religion it can understand what baptism means. I do not understand why people want to baptize babies like baptizing them is going to keep them from sinning and stuff like that I mean. Children have to know and understand things before you make such a big jump like that. And I can understand you don’t know much about their religion or anything like that. But then again as boyfriend and girlfriend you do want respect each other’s wishes and I can understand that but on the other hand if you know nothing about the religion itself you would like to research it or go to church and learn about it and experience it that’s fine. But honestly you’re the mother and what you say goes and that’s the way I would look at that. And marriage is a big thing to me Yes you want to respect him as the father of your child and you want to respect his wishes but then again y’all are not married and to me that makes a big difference Believe it or not.

If you’re not religious and aren’t bothered by that aspect. Let him do it. But if you’re disagreeing over the fact that you should be making decisions together than this is probably the wrong way to go about it.
If you’re coming from the perspective of making decisions together than you need to make it clear that it isn’t about religion. He may be seeing it from the religious point of view. State clearly what point you’re coming from with him

That would be a hard no from me. But I also wouldn’t be with anyone who’s religious and would push their bs on to me and/or our children.

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Yeah my now husband was a good catholic at the time. Our son was the ring barer at the wedding :rofl:

I’m a Jew…I was baptized in a Roman Catholic Church, my mother was Jewish and I was raised Jewish. I went to church on sundays. I went to temple on saturdays. I took communion and I was bar-mitzvah’d. My mother and father wanted to raise me Jewish. My grandmother believed Roman Catholic would save my soul. Who cares? In the end it’s just guidelines to live a plentiful and good way of life.

Go to church then. Join his talk to the priest.

Should’ve have been discussed before having a baby.

Does he mean dedicated? This means the family , church family and parents will stand and the preacher will pray for the child and the family to help teach them the right path to take, teach thm about God. Just bring up the child in the church. My children were dedicated and so were my grandchildren. Basically children are just loaned to us by God.

Ask him where in the bible do they baptize babies? They don’t. That is man made. Everyone wanted my husband and I to get our kids baptized which made me search out why people get baptized and how. What does the Bible say. Our boys are still not baptized. 3 and 8. When they are ready to except Jesus as their Lord and Savior and they decide they want to then they will. Forcing it will not save them. Until they are baptized (full understanding) it falls on the parents if they are saved.

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I had my kid baptized even though we weren’t very active in the church. It’s harder to get it done when they are older of they choose to get married in s church. But how strict is he if yall are having a baby out of Wed loc absolutely no offense intended or anything mean just a point if he’s very strict he should be focusing on his repenting instead of the baby. It’s really something the baby can decide to keep later or move to another religion but it won’t hurt anything to have it done technically it is saving the babies soul Yada Yada if you believe if you don’t then it’s a very nice celebration for the baby

Go investigate! Talk about the meaing! Or should the child have a say in which chuch it will choose! As parents we can teach ,but not by force! We all choose, maybe now is a good time for you, to be informed and choose for you! God doesn’t force or threaten! We all choose!

It won’t hurt anyone if she gets baptized so I would personally just let it go. But have a conversation with him about the way he went about it.

One of the teachings of the Church is no sex before marriage. He can’t be that strict with his religion if that’s the case.

I haven’t read all 340 comments but hetes my take
No.1 if he’s a strict Roman Catholic he’s already not being faithful by having relations without being married.
No. 2 if he is going against your wishes or not considering your feelings your relationship is already in trouble.he is being a tyrant,
No.3 you better rethink this whole relationship,go see the priest by yourself and explain the situation,he’ll help you with this

Why can’t he wait till your child is older and can choose if they want baptized or not? People push religion on children way to much.

Just tell him you’d rather wait till she old enough to decide for herself religion should never be pushed on anyone

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I got a question 1st; she wrote “my boyfriend” so is he the father of the child?? Cause if he aint than tell that mf to stay in his lane! N if he’s just ur bf n he don’t RESPECT ur wishes on that then yall should prolly part ways

It irony of him demanding a baptism but hasn’t married you yet.

Obviously not THAT religious… :laughing::rofl:

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If this helps, I was baptised in the catholic Church when I was a baby. My Dad was a Catholic and my mother is a Baptist. My father later on moved away from the Catholic church over to the Baptist church. As an Adult it hasent had any effect on me and I feel the power to choose my own path. My children were bapistised in the Catholic church. My husband was a raised Catholic. And thats what he wanted to do. I was fine with it. As I know that our children will have the freedom to do as they choose as adults.

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Considering it was ok to have sex out of wedlock then I wouldn’t take his religion very seriously. I would not consent to my child being baptized against my wishes

It’s a decision to make together he can’t say irs happened tough it dont work like that if he like that now what else will be decide on in the future go to church yourself then decide tell him you’ll go to church see for yourself then u will make a decision about baby he will not dictate what will happen when baby comes along

Unless you are atheist, I don’t see the problem… lol.

It’s just water, it’s all fake, I was bathtized at one point.

But the bigger issues is him not respecting you.

If it’s a baby it is a christening. Dedicating the child to God until age of accountability. Asking for protection for the child until they can make there own choice.

First of all the church doesn’t recognize the birth of this child because you are having her out of wedlock and not being married in the Catholic Church. I’m pretty sure the father of the church would only baptize her if something was wrong. They have pretty strict rules about such things. If you’re married in the church, the child becomes baptized in the church, they see it as belonging to the church. I’d stand my ground on this… he’s probably asked for forgiveness for premarital sexual behavior, in confession . Gotten his penance… but with you not being of that faith, I would say no

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I was born, raised, baptized, First Communion, First Confession, Confirmed, Catholic. I went to CCD every Wednesday night during the school year from 1st grade through 10th grade. It hasn’t had an enormous impact on my life. I very rarely go to church anymore besides Christmas and Easter. This is absolutely NOT the hill you want to die on. Your baby could grow up and pick a new religion/no religion if she wants to. I would definitely just get the baby baptized.

You have all the say. Do not let it go.

Go to church with him, I’m Roman Catholic, beautiful churches and beautiful religion. I think maybe when you go you will see it’s not bad, and as someone else said if you’re not religious just view it as a little bit of water being gently splashed on the baby while baby is in a beautiful white outfit. Baptism is very special to Catholics

You said your boyfriend right? You also said very religious right? You also said catholic. Right? So umm why is he having a baby out of wedlock should be the first question.

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He doesn’t respect you. This isn’t going to end well.

To everyone saying he can’t be that serious In His religion because he had a baby out of wedlock. It’s not about him! In his belief, baptizing his baby will wash away her sins and bring her closer to christ. He wants better for his baby. It doesn’t matter what he has done he is not doing it to save his soul he’s doing it to save his baby’s soul.

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He can’t be too Roman Catholic if he’s having a baby out of wedlock… just sayin… :woman_shrugging::rofl:

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If you knew this and had a child with him then it shouldn’t be a problem now. I’m just saying :person_shrugging:

It’s a personal choice. He had the baby against what his religion says. We can’t pick and choose what want to follow in religion. I personally think it’s not a big deal if the child is baptized or not. If it gives the father of my child some comfort then cool. Ultimately it will be the child’s decision to seek out what religion they want later in life. I was dragged to church often as a child, when I grew older it wasn’t for me to attend church every Sunday. It should be something you and your partner should come to terms with privately

No offense but isn’t this something you would know about before having a child together…if his religion is so important…Haven’t you went to church together…talked about it? How is this just coming up?..

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Joyce Taylor This church believes that babies must be baptized in order to go to heaven if they die before they reach the age of accountability. I think in this situation; allowing the Dad some comfort for his mind about his child would be understandable. When the child is older she can decide for herself.

Catholic strict lol your pregnant and not married big No no ! How can he be so religious strict? Wait for the wedding they will have u take test make sure how just how strict they are. I was married in 1997. Took me 2 years to get a divorce.

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Don’t sleep with people and procreate without having these discussions ahead of time. :woman_shrugging:

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I was baptized. I’m not religious. My children are being baptized for my mothers sake. My husband is non religious as well but has agreed because it is important to my mother and won’t really affect us

It’s hard to understand why you would get married to someone who knew was very religious. But baptism isn’t going to hurt your baby what so ever. Sometimes you have to give and take

I did it for my grandfather and father yet as they got older my children have chosen their own paths, you might want to start discussions before CCD … which I did yet chose a different path, always give them an education on world religions and/or spirituality, kids surprise you !

You do have a say. You are the Mother. You simply say she will be baptized Roman Catholic after you meet the priest and learn about the religion. Don’t make it request make it a condition.

He’s obviously not very religious or he picks and chooses when he’s religious as he wouldn’t be dipping it before marriage if he was a strict roman Catholic :see_no_evil:

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Go talk to a priest so you have an understanding. In some families it’s a big deal in others not so much . You’re making a big deal out of something you don’t understand.

Should have discussed before marrying

Church is the most unsafe place for children

You said you feel religion is a huge thing and in the next sentence you said your not super religious, just stop, if he said he’s baptizing the baby either way why bother posting??

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interesting… he’s religious & yet had a baby out of wedlock… he must not be THAT religious :woman_shrugging:t2:… looks like you found a way around his religious demand

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Stand your ground,my grand mother in law wanted me to do my daughter cause all of the family’s children are baptised I told her straight out no my children will never be baptised but once they are old enough to understand reglion then they can chose one if they want,I won’t shove reglion down my children’s throat

It’s important to him and you don’t seem to care either way. So let him get her baptized.

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Honestly it’s just a baptism… I personally think religion is silly and that stuff is well fake. But if it brings him comfort why not? It’s not like he’s asking you to sacrifice your child. It’s putting water on her head and saying a bunch of Hail Marys or whatever.

Honestly, what difference does it make, if it will make him happy? This is his child too. Nothing bad will happen and if you decide at a later time, that your religion is different and want to do something else, then do it.

I don’t understand why he is bullying you into getting his way. It seems to me that he is setting a precedent on how your lives will be from now on. If you let him do this, he will be running your lives always. When I had my child, no one bullied me into doing anything.

Shouldnt you know about the religion since he is huge into it before getting pregnant? Or atleast during it :joy: if its a huge part of his life how do you not know anything about it? :joy::joy: 8 months and no idea about something huge thatd be part of the parenting plan. :skull_and_crossbones:

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The only good thing about getting a child baptised in the Catholic Church amis that you can get the child into a catholic school and they are the best for education

How you feel religion is a huge thing then say you aren’t religious? It’s a matter of how you are raised. It’s not like it’s going to hurt anything being baptized. You clearly are not overly religious so if it isn’t interfering in your beliefs does it really make that big of a difference?

The Code of Canon Law requires only that there “be a founded hope that the infant will be brought up in the Catholic religion” (can. 868). The Church does not actually require that the parents be Catholic, it requires only that there be some well-founded hope that the child will be raised as Catholic.

What is the purpose of a Catholic baptism?
Baptism takes away original sin, all personal sins and all punishment due to sin. It makes the baptized person a participant in the divine life of the Trinity through sanctifying grace, the grace of justification which incorporates one into Christ and into his Church.

That’s something that you two should have discussed before having kids not after the fact.

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Not only should you not let it go, you should leave him. The fact that he’s telling you you have no say in this is sending off huge alarms for me. That’s not ok and it’s likely indicative of how he will be moving forward-and it’s likely that it will just get worse. Get out now and get physical and legal custody. Is it going to be the end of the world if the baby is baptized? Probably not, but I’m more concerned with the signs of abuse that are taking place and the way he could possibly attempt to control both you and your child. P.s, if he really took his religion so seriously, he wouldn’t have gotten you pregnant before marrying you. Sounds like he just uses religion in ways that benefit HIM.

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Absolutely get her baptized. No matter how uncomfortable it makes you I promise you as a Christian the idea of our kids not going to heaven for any reason is our biggest fear and considerably more uncomfortable. We will do nearly anything to ensure our kids come to know and love Jesus Christ.

I agree with him there is nothing wrong in getting baptized and it is supposed to be shortly after you are born he is right

That sounds like you didn’t discuss this before having kids

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Don’t even let someone force your child into a religion. Cult or not. If she wants to join, she can be baptised later. I suspect your bf will use this to control you, and in future control your daughter. I grew up Roman Catholic. It’s no place for a woman.

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Baptized will not hurt her … maybe protect her … let it go then as a family find the religion that you both can agree on .

I am not catholic neither, but I allowed it since it’s tradition in his family. When they’re old our kids will be able to form their own beliefs anyway, so it’s ok with me.

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Ok so here’s my philosophy. Baptism isn’t anything you have to DO after. It is just renunciation of evil and saying you’re going to raise baby to be a godly child. After baptism, you do as you like. If you find out later you want your daughter to be something else you can reevaluate.

If he was so strict with his religion y’all would have been married before baby comes.

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I grew up in a Roman Catholic family. After I grew up, I decided that I was not catholic. There’s SO many different religions out there. Before my brain surgery I decided that I was just gonna call myself Christian and that works for me because if it wasn’t for my faith, I wouldn’t be able to get out of bed in the morning :pray: my grandsons haven’t been baptized and for me that’s totally fine because in the Bible, no babies are baptized. Only adults. I gave my sons a choice because I didn’t want to force religion on them like my family did to me :smirk: I did however teach them the most important prayers though :grinning: YOU DO HAVE A SAY.

To each their own!
to him your baby is getting baptized and being saved to you it’s a splish splash in the water. :woman_shrugging:t3:

Let him have it. If you aren’t religious then it shouldn’t matter.

Im non-denominational Christian which is a little different but my pastor teaches that baptism can of course be done at birth but the point is to be a choice you make for yourself when you’ve grown up a little bit and want to repent for your sins and choose to walk your life with Jesus. The baptism washes your sins clean so with a baby not having any sins kind of defeats the purpose.

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Can’t be that important if he’s having kids out of wedlock and not marrying you before the kid is born. He sounds " special ". His religion is his. Let the kid decide for herself what she wants when she’s ready to choose baptism or not.

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I agree with the comments, it’s not that big a deal, definitely go see for yourself, and you have a say… But on the other hand, he CANNOT be super religious is he’s a boyfriend having a baby :rofl::rofl: and if he entertained a relationship with a person who isn’t from his church.

First maybe you should learn why Catholics baptise baby’s as…baby’s. In the catholic faith they believe you cannot get into heaven without being baptized. Yes even baby’s…no baptism, no heaven. It uses to be practice an in some highly religious people will still baptize in the hospital…because well if something happens on the car ride home…no heaven. But most roman catholics routinely baptize them within the first few weeks of life now. Baptism in the catholic faith pretty much symbolizes the washing away of sins and out emerges a totally innocent person. In other religions baptism generally symbolizes one accepting and practicing that religion…but for Catholics baptism in generall does not mean your guaranteeing the child will be raised catholic or accepting the religion…(that comes later with catechism, confirmation, 1st communion ect)…for babies it simply means that they have been cleaned into innocence and will go to heaven gid forbid something happens. Now that you have the I formation of what Baptism is for Catholics you just need to decide if it’s worth the fight or not. I was raised Catholic and had my older boys baptized as babies but never forced any of the other steps on them…that was there choice and none of them chose to go that path…for me there was no harm in baptism as they had the choice later to accept the faith or not.

These are questions before pregnancy.

You should bring up the fact, that he can’t be that religious if he had sex before marriage. It should be mutual agreement.

This is something to discuss BEFORE having children. If it is that important to him and you aren’t religious, what will it hurt?

Doesn’t his religion require him to be married before having a child ?

I’m not practicing but I got both my kids baptized “just in case” cuz there are some things you just don’t unlearn after being raised catholic lol (partially said in jest)…my man wasn’t very happy about it but it’s literally just some water and oil on the head, a couple of prayers, and a fun lil luncheon or reception afterwards…the baptismal certificate is also a legal identifying document for your baby too…if you don’t really care and he does, just let him get the kid baptized…compromise

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Are you religious? If not or are “on the fence” then let him make that decision. He too is a parent. Don’t push away what he wants to do simply because you’re the mom - that doesn’t make you the “superior” parent.

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If your not married and having a baby together he is already against his religion

The Catholics believe if a baby dies without being baptized they won’t go to heaven. As a Protestant I disagree. I believe all babies go to heaven baptized or not. If it doesn’t matter to you and gives him peace of mind let him get the baby baptize. You will need to decide if you want your child raised in a Catholic church or not and together with the father make that decision.

Not to be harsh but what was his religious stance on having children out of wedlock ? Does he want the baptism or his mom ?

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You married someone who is super religious but never looked into it? That’s on you boo

Hmm. Respectfully he is selectively strict when it comes to his religion. He is currently your boyfriend. You guys are having a baby out of wedlock. He is having sex before marriage. But having your child baptized is where he draws the line. That being said. You should have a conversation with him and have him explain to you what the significance is behind baptism. Maybe once you hear it from him you might have an easier time with your/his decision.

This is something you should discuss before getting pregnant lol

Confirmation doesn’t happen until children are older and will decide for themselves so I would be fine with baptism. Essentially just blessing baby and there is no ill will in regards to baptism so I would have no concern especially if it’s important to him.

He can’t be to serious about his religion because if that’s the case you should be getting married🤔

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Don’t think your daughter will care when she’s older.
Doesn’t really matter??

Depends on what religion it is I don’t believe in the. C Church or it’s teaching make sure you both agree to it

This is something that should have been discussed before you were married and definitely before you had kids.

What could possibly be wrong with being baptised and welcomed into the kingdom of God? :woman_shrugging:

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Who told you that you didn’t have a say?

Read up online the catholic religion already he broke their rules by having sex before marriage but needless to say catholic demand when married and one don’t belong to the catholic church the child will be raised catholic look into it I did yrs ago I dont think they’re rules has changed