My boyfriend is paranoid about STD's

Hi im 27 and I'm dating a guy that's also 27, I'm falling quickly for this guy but he's super paranoid about stds and me getting pregnant. I decided to give him peace of mind and go back on birth control even though I get badly depressed on them. Last night we had sex and it was amazing but then he gave me a std talk as soon as it was over. Like who?? What and why?? And it has been awkward between us all day. Is this normal? Am I crazy?
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My boyfriend is paranoid about STD's

If you haven’t been tested, I would be now. Sounds to me like he is concerned about giving YOU something and wants to blame you.

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Why can’t he wear a condom

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One thing being cautious and another being paranoid . If he’s this concern both should have gotten tested before having sex . If you have physical or psychological effects then please speak to a health care provider quickly your health is very important . He should be a willing participant as well . Birth control is not solely on the woman . Analyze this very well before you get in deeper with this man it could be very well huge red flags .

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Maybe he has an STD and he’s going to give it to you and say it wasn’t from him?? It would definitely be a read flag for me. Make him wear a condom

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Sounds like he probly has one if he’s that paranoid

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Honestly it sounds like you aren’t his only girlfriend 🤷

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Its pretty normal to get tested in between partners in my opinion but then obviously there doesn’t have to be further discussion about stds. Problem solved. Unless you have 7 partners a week and then I’d be paranoid about stds too.

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I’d get tested ASAP. Before I got married I used to regularly get tested. Just to be on the safe side. I mean it’s free at planned parenthood

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Girl you should’ve told him to wear a condom if hes that PARANOID as a matter of fact leave his self absorbed ass tf

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I have gotten my full lab work done for my own well being and also to show a dude who was a paranoid psycho before- it’s a good feeling on both ends

Umm that’s an adult conversation that should Be had between two new partners. There are many forms of BC not just the pill. But yes you should be able to have this conversation and if you are truly “falling for him” then it shouldn’t be an issue to talk about or go get tested.

I lived with a guy like this. Even after moving out, he’d want me to keep him updated on when I started my period cause he’d be paranoid I was pregnant
My advice is to sit him down and talk with him about it. Maybe get tested together so he’ll feel better about the STD thing?
Don’t make yourself take birth control just to make him feel better. If it affects you badly, quit taking it. Use condoms.
If it continues, I’d leave.
Sex is a lot more fun with someone who isn’t overly paranoid lol

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It sounds like he has other partners to me & has also had an std so stay clear I would say

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Does he have an std or something

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Some men are just like this, I’ve come across it myself.

Go to a clinic together and get tested together just to show you’re clean :kissing_heart: also, IUD’s don’t make you hormonal because the hormones stay in your uterus. Xx good luck.

If hes that concerned about STDs, then maybe he has one and hes afraid of giving it to you?

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Weird does he have an std? You just went to Doctor perhaps it is time he goes…

I wouldn’t say that’s normal. No one wants an STD but I’ve never had a guy “give me a talk” about it, it’s just one of those things were you should take the obvious precautions of using protection and be transparent with each other about testing and if you have more partners.
If he’s making a bigger deal out of it than that I’d be a little cautious and get tested soon.

Let him wear condoms if he’s super concern about STDs

You both should be tested. You should also be using protection. No excuses.

Nothing wrong with being careful, but his behavior seems off. Since it’s obviously a big concern of his, I’d suggest a date to the nearest testing facility. Maybe he had a close call one time and is still paranoid. Maybe he has something. Maybe he has nothing. Only one way to know for sure….

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Both get tested. Solves the mystery. Wear condoms. Don’t compromise your physical and mental health for men. :heart:

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Did he use a condom?!?!?!?

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Maybe he’s got one and he’s just trying to cover himself

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uh… i mean i get being cautious about those things because who wants an STD and unwanted pregnancy? no one but that’s ridiculous and i’d see it as a red flag and run. :sweat_smile:
i would be instantly turned off if my partner kept bringing up those things to me specially after sex… :triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post:

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You need to have him tested :woman_shrugging: idk seems weird a one time conversation should suffice when ya first got together at that like hey let’s get tested together or something and put that to rest, however you never know what he may be doing when you’re not there so I would definetly see this as a red flag because who are you with that has you so worried if we both know it ain’t yourself ? :woman_shrugging:

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also, i hope he’s using condoms because birth control is only going to protect you from pregnancy sooooo.

I’d say run now. And get tested. Also nag on him about him being tested and wearing a freaking rubber

He’s just setting up his “out”…

You got on birth control against your own better judgment to appease his paranoia? No, ma’am. Red. Flag. Throw that whole ass man away, hunny!
If men are so paranoid about women getting pregnant, why won’t they get a vasectomy? Do they not understand how much more appealing they would be to women if they would just be responsible with their own body?

This site has gone beyond stupid

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My boyfriend is paranoid about STD's

Ditch him. If you’ve both been tested, like responsible adults, then there shouldn’t be worries. If he’s that paranoid, I wouldn’t be able to stay, I’d have to go. Communicate with him.

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I’m surprised he didn’t jump in the shower and scrub himself off right after the std talk. He is the one with the issue…unless you out paintin’ up the town :rofl:

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If you have both been tested n your clear then there’s nothing to be paranoid about as long as your loyal to one another and trust each other and communicate n have some form of contiception to avoid pregnancy you should both be fine but if the issue counties then I’d walk away

Red flag! If you have been tested and he has been tested and you were on birth control and he is still acting like this, sounds like he has something to hide. I wouldn’t be paranoid about STDs if I knew my partner was clean and I was also, unless I was sleeping around

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He’d have to go if it was me lol

Maybe he’s had a bad experience before y’all got together and he’s trying to be safe now because of it. Especially if y’all aren’t exclusive y’all can try condoms since it would benefit both of his concerns and your birth control is giving you depression so you wouldn’t have to worry about your mental health being affected by bc

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Firstly were you having unprotected sex? Both of you okay with having a baby? If you are not planning a baby, you shouldn’t be having unprotected sex. As for the STD thing, that I have no advice for. Seems like he got issues…

I’m confused as to why he is paranoid about stds. I feel thisnwasnt very specific. Are you guys also seeing other people? Have you both been tested? If you are monogamous and both have been tested there is no reason to fear stds unless he is sleeping with other people. An std doesn’t just randomly appear

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Is he germophobic? And stds are a big trigger for him? Maybe he’s just scared. Maybe he’s had people lie or cheat or something that ended up with something. It’s normal to be cautious, but it sounds like there’s more to it. I would communicate with him before jumping to conclusions. If he doesn’t want to talk about it, red flag. But there needs to be more info

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If you’ve both been tested and he’s still paranoid, he’s probably afraid he’s got an std since testing and nervous you’ll catch it and find out. It’s definitely not normal if you’ve both been tested and are clean and haven’t slept with others… very strange. I’d have a talk with him and depending on how that went, possibly ditch him.

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Going on medication that negatively affects your mental health in order to ease his anxiety is not the answer. Use condoms. If he says no, move on bc he’s selfish and controlling.

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Had this situation. Relationship fell apart

Why did yal not use protection?

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If he is so paranoid why not use a condom? But I wouldn’t be with someone who made me get on bc when it effects my mental health and also always giving me the std talk if both you are clean. No go for me. Goos luck

Sounds like he’s worried about himself getting it because he’s doing something shady.

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Look into a non-hormonal IUD

Have you been tested recently? Maybe offer to go get tested with him

Guilty dog barks first :woman_shrugging:t4:

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Sounds like someone needs to ask about herpes? It shouldn’t be awkward when discussing these things especially at 27!

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Bare back all day baby.

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Honey do not ever conform or ruin your body for a man’s satisfaction. I personally have bipolar disorder and birth control made my mania so much worse and I got pregnant 4x on 4 different birth controls due to my insides being ass backwards. I guess my point is as a female who knows what you go through, it’s not worth it to risk your mental health whatsoever. And if he’s obsessed about this std thing, it makes me wonder if he’s stepping out and trying to blame you if he gets one… He sounds like my ex who did things that I didn’t realize he was doing unless witnesses were there and i ended up w Stockholm syndrome and believed anything he said bc that’s literally all i heard for 5yrs. Run baby girl.

I think if you haven’t already try to discuss with him that this is excessive and it makes you uncomfortable. He should absolutely care what birth control does to you.

If he is the same after the conversation. Leave him girl. You don’t need new trauma. He needs to work on his trauma before being with you.

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Just dont fall too hard, your gut is for sure telling you something…

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I’m confused. Either no protection is being used, and that’s why he’s paranoid, or protection is being used and he’s still freaking himself out.

If you haven’t already, maybe go get tested together. Put his mind at ease.
As far as the birth control. I wouldn’t put myself in a depressed state by taking BC just for him. Sounds like he needs to be made aware of how BC affects you. He’s either supportive of that, or he isn’t.

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Sounds like he’s living a double life. So paranoid about STDs because if he gets something then he gotta tell his wife - freaking out about getting you pregnant because if he did, he’d have to tell his wife.:rofl:

But in all honestly, I’d break that off faster than it started. You’d put yourself in a depression just to have sex with that man? As if. Tell him to get a vasectomy if he’s so worried about babies.:woman_shrugging:t2:

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A non hormonal iud like paraguard. Also ask him why he is so worried. Tel him your clean and if your monogamous then it shouldn’t be an issue. Honestly he’s probably had a girl in the past give him like chlamydia or something or pretend to be pregnant or both, I mean if a man doesn’t want a child then he wants to be sure you aren’t gonna get pregnant. There’s nothing wrong with being worried pregnancy and nothing wrong with std concern in a new relationship.

All you people saying RED Flag, I guess y’all aren’t concerned about your partners concerns and feelings?

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Sounds like he either has one now or has had one and he’s pushing it off on you because he’s worried about getting another. I say you both need to go get tested, or walk away. It’s not normal to be THAT paranoid about it.

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Birth control will not ease his mind about possible sexual diseases. Theres a chance of pregnancy with birth control as well. ?
Maybe hes had one before that has been treated from previous partner and hes to embarrassed about telling you? Or maybe hes worried about getting one and the effects it may cause. Most partners that contract and std think that they need to stay with that person the rest of their lives because no one else would want them later. ?
Either way…I would be using protection. Just to ensure that getting pregnant is less of a chance, less risk of uti or other infections, and to protect yourself as much as u can incase he does got something hes afraid of telling you.

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If you haven’t been tested go get tested to prove to him . He probably is just scared. I was like that til I didn’t care

I’m not seeing y this is a bad thing in this day and age, everyone should be paranoid about stds ….

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I can’t tell who is being serious and who isn’t :joy:

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If he was that paranoid would he not have asked you to get tested before having sex :woman_shrugging:t3::woman_shrugging:t3:

Maybe he had a bad experience in the past and he’s projecting on you. If you guys can’t reach an agreement and he doesn’t change :100: his behaviour. It’s your time to go and for him to be alone with himself for a while. If he’s not ready to date, he shouldn’t be doing it and put you on that position in the first place.

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Why would he be paranoid of an std if he’s only with you?
Either he has one he’s not telling you about or he’s sleeping about or thinking you are :thinking:

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First Check out different birth control options for yourself, if and only if, that is what YOU want. Your body, your choice as to what you put into it.
As for his paranoia, he’s smart for wanting to be so attentive when it comes to sexual health. BUT it shouldn’t all be laid on you to handle. He also needs to be taking precautions to prevent these things. He should at least use protection. And maybe y’all both could go get tested and ease each other’s minds.

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Calm down. Someone must’ve really got him badly in the past. And its like PTSD in short of it he will always have a paranoia feeling of it. Maybe in almost all his relatioships unless you be his only 1. :heart:

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Condoms. Since he is so worried he can wrap it up.

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Tell him to wrap it if he’s so paranoid.

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Tell him to get a damn vasectomy is he’s so damn worried there is no reason for you to suffer mentally from BC for him. And tell him all the STD talk is uncomfortable and use condoms

Wanting to be safe isn’t a bad thing in these times. It should be a safe green flag if anything, he cares about himself and you.

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So you guys are 27. Sexual health is a normal conversation to have- the fact that you’re doing something that puts your mental health at risk is a no-go for me. I have a plethora of risks on birth control and I tried for a week, talked to my significant other about it and he said you absolutely
Need to stop taking it… we will figure something else out. So… especially in a new relationship and also especially later… aka always…a man should ALWAYS be looking out for you and be more than willing to use protection if he’s that worried about stds and pregnancy…if he’s not there for just sex. Point blank. Talk to him about this and observe his actions. If he’s this paranoid, be willing to work through this with him but also offer to not have sex if he isn’t willing to wear a condom. Again, observe actions.

Secondly stds are incredibly common. When’s the last time you were tested? Next time he brings it up, just offer to not have sex for a month while you both get tested. If something is new for you, well, then you know why he was so paranoid.

Start by having the open discussion. A man who can’t be honest about where he is at is not attractive and is wasting your time.

If he is worried about an STD, he is worried about one of you having sex outside the relationship. Assuming you are not doing that, he is either a jealous paranoid, or a cheater. Neither is dating material. And if you can’t sleep with him and keep that thought front and center, best to cut it off now and find other ways for sexual gratification. :man_shrugging:

Maybe it’s not about stds at all … maybe he needs to be reassured he can trust that you are monogamous in the relationship as well

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For everyone saying wrap it, you know that’s not 100 percent for anything right?
Also the fact he’s nervous about an STD isn’t a bad thing. Welcome to adulting.

Funny how he worries AFTER he’s slept with you…

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Somebody done gave him the clap before lol

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First of all, do not go on birth control for any man, if he’s worried about you falling pregnant he can use condoms & be extra cautious… and secondly, i’d be concerned if a guy started randomly talking about STD’s …

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Sure he hasn’t got another piece on the side?

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Birth control dosent protect you from an std ,

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Have you guys discussed getting tested and exclusivity? If you’re both clean and no ones fooling around on the side what to worry about? It’s a tad sus.

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Depends what town you are from :joy::joy::joy::joy: where I’m from everyone always worries about that that’s just say they is reasons for that :rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:

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Maybe an IUD with no hormones is good for you if YOU want to be on birth control why should you be depressed to please him try that out and maybe a conversation abt why he so worried. If you got checked and are good and if he is good and you not sleeping around so ask hi. If he is then just maybe things might calm down. Just have a talk with him abt it. And change ur birth control for you.

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From the sounds of it, I’m guessing that he also doesn’t like condoms which is why you have to go back on a medication that causes you to depression. I mean the due to where a condom and there is some birth control right there. Instead of you having to go on something that you don’t want to all to make him happy.

Move on! It will only get worse after marriage. He’ll start insinuating that you are cheating on him.

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If he’s super paranoid about having a kid he should get a vasectomy. They are easily reversible. Birth control is horrible on women’s bodies. And with std’s why not both go get tested.

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First of all why are you damaging your body because hes paranoid. If hes worried about you getting pregnant tell him to use condoms then you’re protected against pregnancy and stds and if you’re both getting tested yearly or each time you change partners and hes not fucking other people then you have nothing to worry about

When your sleeping with more then one person those are things u worry about yes so wrap that up your sharing

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? Why aren’t you? I’m pretty paranoid about stds after seeing how people are & what they do. Although you’d think if he was that paranoid he’d just use a condom and talk about you both getting tested.

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Only reason to be worried is if he is sleeping with other people also, or he thinks you are, or he knows is already infected and afraid he will give it to you.

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He’s going to give you an std. Run now.

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I also am paranoid about STDS​:joy::raised_hand:both go get tested . I don’t think he’s wrong. And obviously don’t get on birth control if u don’t want to be on it.

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Dump him :flushed::flushed::flushed::flushed::flushed: thats insane he does not even care about your mental health.

Well he should be. Lol

Idk maybe he had a really awful experience with a past female or two.

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He 100% has one. Why would you sleep with him?

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