Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My boyfriend is paranoid about STD's - Mamas Uncut
If you havenāt been tested, I would be now. Sounds to me like he is concerned about giving YOU something and wants to blame you.
Why canāt he wear a condom
One thing being cautious and another being paranoid . If heās this concern both should have gotten tested before having sex . If you have physical or psychological effects then please speak to a health care provider quickly your health is very important . He should be a willing participant as well . Birth control is not solely on the woman . Analyze this very well before you get in deeper with this man it could be very well huge red flags .
Maybe he has an STD and heās going to give it to you and say it wasnāt from him?? It would definitely be a read flag for me. Make him wear a condom
Sounds like he probly has one if heās that paranoid
Honestly it sounds like you arenāt his only girlfriend š¤·
Its pretty normal to get tested in between partners in my opinion but then obviously there doesnāt have to be further discussion about stds. Problem solved. Unless you have 7 partners a week and then Iād be paranoid about stds too.
Iād get tested ASAP. Before I got married I used to regularly get tested. Just to be on the safe side. I mean itās free at planned parenthood
Girl you shouldāve told him to wear a condom if hes that PARANOID as a matter of fact leave his self absorbed ass tf
I have gotten my full lab work done for my own well being and also to show a dude who was a paranoid psycho before- itās a good feeling on both ends
Umm thatās an adult conversation that should Be had between two new partners. There are many forms of BC not just the pill. But yes you should be able to have this conversation and if you are truly āfalling for himā then it shouldnāt be an issue to talk about or go get tested.
I lived with a guy like this. Even after moving out, heād want me to keep him updated on when I started my period cause heād be paranoid I was pregnant
My advice is to sit him down and talk with him about it. Maybe get tested together so heāll feel better about the STD thing?
Donāt make yourself take birth control just to make him feel better. If it affects you badly, quit taking it. Use condoms.
If it continues, Iād leave.
Sex is a lot more fun with someone who isnāt overly paranoid lol
It sounds like he has other partners to me & has also had an std so stay clear I would say
Does he have an std or something
Some men are just like this, Iāve come across it myself.
Go to a clinic together and get tested together just to show youāre clean 
also, IUDās donāt make you hormonal because the hormones stay in your uterus. Xx good luck.
If hes that concerned about STDs, then maybe he has one and hes afraid of giving it to you?
Weird does he have an std? You just went to Doctor perhaps it is time he goesā¦
I wouldnāt say thatās normal. No one wants an STD but Iāve never had a guy āgive me a talkā about it, itās just one of those things were you should take the obvious precautions of using protection and be transparent with each other about testing and if you have more partners.
If heās making a bigger deal out of it than that Iād be a little cautious and get tested soon.
Let him wear condoms if heās super concern about STDs
You both should be tested. You should also be using protection. No excuses.
Nothing wrong with being careful, but his behavior seems off. Since itās obviously a big concern of his, Iād suggest a date to the nearest testing facility. Maybe he had a close call one time and is still paranoid. Maybe he has something. Maybe he has nothing. Only one way to know for sureā¦.
Both get tested. Solves the mystery. Wear condoms. Donāt compromise your physical and mental health for men. 
Did he use a condom?!?!?!?
Maybe heās got one and heās just trying to cover himself
uhā¦ i mean i get being cautious about those things because who wants an STD and unwanted pregnancy? no one but thatās ridiculous and iād see it as a red flag and run. 
i would be instantly turned off if my partner kept bringing up those things to me specially after sexā¦ 
You need to have him tested 
idk seems weird a one time conversation should suffice when ya first got together at that like hey letās get tested together or something and put that to rest, however you never know what he may be doing when youāre not there so I would definetly see this as a red flag because who are you with that has you so worried if we both know it aināt yourself ?
also, i hope heās using condoms because birth control is only going to protect you from pregnancy sooooo.
Iād say run now. And get tested. Also nag on him about him being tested and wearing a freaking rubber
Heās just setting up his āoutāā¦
You got on birth control against your own better judgment to appease his paranoia? No, maāam. Red. Flag. Throw that whole ass man away, hunny!
If men are so paranoid about women getting pregnant, why wonāt they get a vasectomy? Do they not understand how much more appealing they would be to women if they would just be responsible with their own body?
This site has gone beyond stupid
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My boyfriend is paranoid about STD's - Mamas Uncut
Ditch him. If youāve both been tested, like responsible adults, then there shouldnāt be worries. If heās that paranoid, I wouldnāt be able to stay, Iād have to go. Communicate with him.
Iām surprised he didnāt jump in the shower and scrub himself off right after the std talk. He is the one with the issueā¦unless you out paintinā up the town 
If you have both been tested n your clear then thereās nothing to be paranoid about as long as your loyal to one another and trust each other and communicate n have some form of contiception to avoid pregnancy you should both be fine but if the issue counties then Iād walk away
Red flag! If you have been tested and he has been tested and you were on birth control and he is still acting like this, sounds like he has something to hide. I wouldnāt be paranoid about STDs if I knew my partner was clean and I was also, unless I was sleeping around
Heād have to go if it was me lol
Maybe heās had a bad experience before yāall got together and heās trying to be safe now because of it. Especially if yāall arenāt exclusive yāall can try condoms since it would benefit both of his concerns and your birth control is giving you depression so you wouldnāt have to worry about your mental health being affected by bc
Firstly were you having unprotected sex? Both of you okay with having a baby? If you are not planning a baby, you shouldnāt be having unprotected sex. As for the STD thing, that I have no advice for. Seems like he got issuesā¦
Iām confused as to why he is paranoid about stds. I feel thisnwasnt very specific. Are you guys also seeing other people? Have you both been tested? If you are monogamous and both have been tested there is no reason to fear stds unless he is sleeping with other people. An std doesnāt just randomly appear
Is he germophobic? And stds are a big trigger for him? Maybe heās just scared. Maybe heās had people lie or cheat or something that ended up with something. Itās normal to be cautious, but it sounds like thereās more to it. I would communicate with him before jumping to conclusions. If he doesnāt want to talk about it, red flag. But there needs to be more info
If youāve both been tested and heās still paranoid, heās probably afraid heās got an std since testing and nervous youāll catch it and find out. Itās definitely not normal if youāve both been tested and are clean and havenāt slept with othersā¦ very strange. Iād have a talk with him and depending on how that went, possibly ditch him.
Going on medication that negatively affects your mental health in order to ease his anxiety is not the answer. Use condoms. If he says no, move on bc heās selfish and controlling.
Had this situation. Relationship fell apart
Why did yal not use protection?
If he is so paranoid why not use a condom? But I wouldnāt be with someone who made me get on bc when it effects my mental health and also always giving me the std talk if both you are clean. No go for me. Goos luck
Sounds like heās worried about himself getting it because heās doing something shady.
Look into a non-hormonal IUD
Have you been tested recently? Maybe offer to go get tested with him
Guilty dog barks first 
Sounds like someone needs to ask about herpes? It shouldnāt be awkward when discussing these things especially at 27!
Bare back all day baby.
Honey do not ever conform or ruin your body for a manās satisfaction. I personally have bipolar disorder and birth control made my mania so much worse and I got pregnant 4x on 4 different birth controls due to my insides being ass backwards. I guess my point is as a female who knows what you go through, itās not worth it to risk your mental health whatsoever. And if heās obsessed about this std thing, it makes me wonder if heās stepping out and trying to blame you if he gets oneā¦ He sounds like my ex who did things that I didnāt realize he was doing unless witnesses were there and i ended up w Stockholm syndrome and believed anything he said bc thatās literally all i heard for 5yrs. Run baby girl.
I think if you havenāt already try to discuss with him that this is excessive and it makes you uncomfortable. He should absolutely care what birth control does to you.
If he is the same after the conversation. Leave him girl. You donāt need new trauma. He needs to work on his trauma before being with you.
Just dont fall too hard, your gut is for sure telling you somethingā¦
Iām confused. Either no protection is being used, and thatās why heās paranoid, or protection is being used and heās still freaking himself out.
If you havenāt already, maybe go get tested together. Put his mind at ease.
As far as the birth control. I wouldnāt put myself in a depressed state by taking BC just for him. Sounds like he needs to be made aware of how BC affects you. Heās either supportive of that, or he isnāt.
Sounds like heās living a double life. So paranoid about STDs because if he gets something then he gotta tell his wife - freaking out about getting you pregnant because if he did, heād have to tell his wife.
But in all honestly, Iād break that off faster than it started. Youād put yourself in a depression just to have sex with that man? As if. Tell him to get a vasectomy if heās so worried about babies.
A non hormonal iud like paraguard. Also ask him why he is so worried. Tel him your clean and if your monogamous then it shouldnāt be an issue. Honestly heās probably had a girl in the past give him like chlamydia or something or pretend to be pregnant or both, I mean if a man doesnāt want a child then he wants to be sure you arenāt gonna get pregnant. Thereās nothing wrong with being worried pregnancy and nothing wrong with std concern in a new relationship.
All you people saying RED Flag, I guess yāall arenāt concerned about your partners concerns and feelings?
Sounds like he either has one now or has had one and heās pushing it off on you because heās worried about getting another. I say you both need to go get tested, or walk away. Itās not normal to be THAT paranoid about it.
Birth control will not ease his mind about possible sexual diseases. Theres a chance of pregnancy with birth control as well. ?
Maybe hes had one before that has been treated from previous partner and hes to embarrassed about telling you? Or maybe hes worried about getting one and the effects it may cause. Most partners that contract and std think that they need to stay with that person the rest of their lives because no one else would want them later. ?
Either wayā¦I would be using protection. Just to ensure that getting pregnant is less of a chance, less risk of uti or other infections, and to protect yourself as much as u can incase he does got something hes afraid of telling you.
If you havenāt been tested go get tested to prove to him . He probably is just scared. I was like that til I didnāt care
Iām not seeing y this is a bad thing in this day and age, everyone should be paranoid about stds ā¦.
I canāt tell who is being serious and who isnāt 
If he was that paranoid would he not have asked you to get tested before having sex 
Maybe he had a bad experience in the past and heās projecting on you. If you guys canāt reach an agreement and he doesnāt change 
his behaviour. Itās your time to go and for him to be alone with himself for a while. If heās not ready to date, he shouldnāt be doing it and put you on that position in the first place.
Why would he be paranoid of an std if heās only with you?
Either he has one heās not telling you about or heās sleeping about or thinking you are 
First Check out different birth control options for yourself, if and only if, that is what YOU want. Your body, your choice as to what you put into it.
As for his paranoia, heās smart for wanting to be so attentive when it comes to sexual health. BUT it shouldnāt all be laid on you to handle. He also needs to be taking precautions to prevent these things. He should at least use protection. And maybe yāall both could go get tested and ease each otherās minds.
Calm down. Someone mustāve really got him badly in the past. And its like PTSD in short of it he will always have a paranoia feeling of it. Maybe in almost all his relatioships unless you be his only 1.
Condoms. Since he is so worried he can wrap it up.
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Tell him to wrap it if heās so paranoid.
Tell him to get a damn vasectomy is heās so damn worried there is no reason for you to suffer mentally from BC for him. And tell him all the STD talk is uncomfortable and use condoms
Wanting to be safe isnāt a bad thing in these times. It should be a safe green flag if anything, he cares about himself and you.
So you guys are 27. Sexual health is a normal conversation to have- the fact that youāre doing something that puts your mental health at risk is a no-go for me. I have a plethora of risks on birth control and I tried for a week, talked to my significant other about it and he said you absolutely
Need to stop taking itā¦ we will figure something else out. Soā¦ especially in a new relationship and also especially laterā¦ aka alwaysā¦a man should ALWAYS be looking out for you and be more than willing to use protection if heās that worried about stds and pregnancyā¦if heās not there for just sex. Point blank. Talk to him about this and observe his actions. If heās this paranoid, be willing to work through this with him but also offer to not have sex if he isnāt willing to wear a condom. Again, observe actions.
Secondly stds are incredibly common. Whenās the last time you were tested? Next time he brings it up, just offer to not have sex for a month while you both get tested. If something is new for you, well, then you know why he was so paranoid.
Start by having the open discussion. A man who canāt be honest about where he is at is not attractive and is wasting your time.
If he is worried about an STD, he is worried about one of you having sex outside the relationship. Assuming you are not doing that, he is either a jealous paranoid, or a cheater. Neither is dating material. And if you canāt sleep with him and keep that thought front and center, best to cut it off now and find other ways for sexual gratification. 
Maybe itās not about stds at all ā¦ maybe he needs to be reassured he can trust that you are monogamous in the relationship as well
For everyone saying wrap it, you know thatās not 100 percent for anything right?
Also the fact heās nervous about an STD isnāt a bad thing. Welcome to adulting.
Funny how he worries AFTER heās slept with youā¦
Somebody done gave him the clap before lol
First of all, do not go on birth control for any man, if heās worried about you falling pregnant he can use condoms & be extra cautiousā¦ and secondly, iād be concerned if a guy started randomly talking about STDās ā¦
Sure he hasnāt got another piece on the side?
Birth control dosent protect you from an std ,
Have you guys discussed getting tested and exclusivity? If youāre both clean and no ones fooling around on the side what to worry about? Itās a tad sus.
Depends what town you are from where Iām from everyone always worries about that thatās just say they is reasons for that
Maybe an IUD with no hormones is good for you if YOU want to be on birth control why should you be depressed to please him try that out and maybe a conversation abt why he so worried. If you got checked and are good and if he is good and you not sleeping around so ask hi. If he is then just maybe things might calm down. Just have a talk with him abt it. And change ur birth control for you.
From the sounds of it, Iām guessing that he also doesnāt like condoms which is why you have to go back on a medication that causes you to depression. I mean the due to where a condom and there is some birth control right there. Instead of you having to go on something that you donāt want to all to make him happy.
Move on! It will only get worse after marriage. Heāll start insinuating that you are cheating on him.
If heās super paranoid about having a kid he should get a vasectomy. They are easily reversible. Birth control is horrible on womenās bodies. And with stdās why not both go get tested.
First of all why are you damaging your body because hes paranoid. If hes worried about you getting pregnant tell him to use condoms then youāre protected against pregnancy and stds and if youāre both getting tested yearly or each time you change partners and hes not fucking other people then you have nothing to worry about
When your sleeping with more then one person those are things u worry about yes so wrap that up your sharing
? Why arenāt you? Iām pretty paranoid about stds after seeing how people are & what they do. Although youād think if he was that paranoid heād just use a condom and talk about you both getting tested.
Only reason to be worried is if he is sleeping with other people also, or he thinks you are, or he knows is already infected and afraid he will give it to you.
Heās going to give you an std. Run now.
I also am paranoid about STDSā:joy:
both go get tested . I donāt think heās wrong. And obviously donāt get on birth control if u donāt want to be on it.
Dump him 
thats insane he does not even care about your mental health.
Well he should be. Lol
Idk maybe he had a really awful experience with a past female or two.
He 100% has one. Why would you sleep with him?