Why doesn’t he just wear a condom and get tested together
Not a crazy subject especially when you meet a 21 yr old with AIDS he said he got it from his first time at 12 then has a hard duty to go back and notify all the girls he’s been with so give him a peace of mind and get à full check out on all STDs
This sounds like a conversation teens would have. First of all his paranoia about stds is a big red flag. Instead of starting on the birth control she should have made them both an appointment to get tested for disease. Thus just sounds desperate and dumb!
Unpopular opinion but a different perspective because I have been through this.
He might be a hypochondriac and genuinely scared of catching something himself. He might have had a scare in the past or witnessed a friend go through something traumatic (like cheating and finding something out later)He obviously likes being intimate and enjoys it but something is triggering him. I would talk him through the concerns, maybe he just needs to be comfortable enough to speak to someone and start a recovery process. Either way both get tested for peace of mind too.
He must have some.side fettish and doesn’t want to be the blame when u get one
I would’ve made him get checked for them if he’s that paranoid. Sounds weird
In an adult relationship you have to have uncomfortable adult conversations. Js
I would go get tested just incase now. Being careful is one thing but lecturing after is weird and somewhat of a red flag.
Go and get tested together, get your negative results together. Then if he keeps bringing it up he’s either cheating or thinks you are.
Did he not wear a condom?
I would suggest both of y’all getting tested. If he’s that paranoid, I bet he his one.
Girl put him in his place!! Then call it quits
Use condoms , maybe he is cheating , maybe he is paranoid and had one before .
1st of all never make your self depressed over a price of ass!!!
2nd either he has been burned ( burns when I pee doc) and is afraid of it happening again, which it does because some people don’t realize they have std going on!
Or he has one of the std s that you get to keep forever and hasn’t come to grips and learned how to deal.
EITHER way you are worthy of so much more DO NOT LIMIT YOUR SELF!!! get off the bc … use condoms protect your self!!!
Signed Ed nurse/ mom… given this Ted talk to so many after treating them for many std related issues
He probably has slept with someone who gave him something an someone who got pregnant
Every precaution should be taken…use condoms…
From my experience he sounds like he isnt sleeping with only you
Get tested. Put his mind at ease or use condoms.
I think you sutra leave him right now before it too late God bless you to find a nice one next time
When someone starts questioning your “actions”…. It’s time to start questioning theirs. They blame you for the things they do.
Both get tested then maybe it will be done!
leave babydoll. Hes throwing flags left and right.
This is suspect. You should run. Red flag on the play for sure.
No offense but are you chicks serious? Getting up n arms about a dude being cautious about pregnancy and stds yall are the weird ones
If you’re in a committed relationship… And only with each other… He shouldn’t be that paranoid about STDS… Unless you haven’t been together long, and that was the first time you’ve slept together? And I wouldn’t take birth control if it gives you bad reactions, just to apease another. You can try other things if you want. But that’s your choice. And, if he’s paranoid about STDS he did be using condoms also. And asking that you both be tested🤷 or you’re not the only one he’s with
If he was that concerned, wouldn’t he have gotten tested before having sex? Have both parties get tested. That’s usually what a person who is concerned about STDs does. They do it prior to the act to then know for sure if they want to continue. How convenient that it’s afterwards and all of a sudden he’s paranoid. I understand the concern, everyone in a casual or serious relationship should discuss this but if the talk comes afterwards, was he really that worried? Now, if you’re worried about you, go to the health clinic or your local health department and have them do an STD screening and get a PAP smear. His behavior is not normal! Especially after you guys were intimate. It kind of ruined the experience. You are not crazy, I promise you. I would leave and move on. I wish you well!
Get tested for any STD’s and tell him to get checked too before he accuses you of cheating - he may have a STD and is playing the guilty concious game. And you don’t have to go back on birth control, he can easily use a condom. Please stop letting men control our bodies, the fact that you felt that you had to go back onto birth control despite feeling depressed on them just to make him happy… he’s already there making his demands on your body.
Don’t allow it, get rid of this joke.
If hes saying it may happen or it could happen ,hes planning to cheat and hes gonna use this as he had already told u its life… yall should both get tested
Yeah I bet he’s going to have your hooha burning friend, I’d leave that one alone.
Just respond to him " dont fuck around then and you wont catch anything"
sounds like he don’t trust you
he probably got a std
He’s not normal!! I would dump him in a heartbeat…
Birth control doesn’t protect against stds he should be wearing a condom …regardless no matter how safe it opens the window to get an std…u can demand terms too don’t let him be in total control
Did you get tested and show him before y’all started having sex?
-
Both get tested - first that’s super important when starting a relationship - if you’re Single and out having fun it’s smart to go every 3 months to be sure - in a relationship is smart to go at least twice in the beginning - the reason I say twice is because some viruses give a false negative if you were recently exposed they might not show up on an std/sti panel so it’s smart to go as soon as you start a relationship then again 6 weeks later to be certain any and all negative results you received are still negative
-
Do not use BC if it makes you depressed - there are some that do not do this so maybe try something else, but if you’ve already tried multiple types and nothing works for you and allows you to remain happy do not use it - I will say for me the Nuva ring/mirena/mini pill have less of that affect so if you haven’t yet try those - nuva ring gave me migraines though - mirena is a consistent amount of hormones with zero spikes - and the mini pill (Tulana) is estrogen free and there’s no placebo week you take the same mg dosage on your period so the consistency there helps avoid hormonal spikes which can affect mood
-
Have a conversation about exclusivity - this paranoia sounds like maybe he has a few girlfriends
-
Condoms are hormone free, also sometimes hard to get the timing right in the moment and can also affect the sensation which is why they’re great in theory and often get left in the side table drawer - condoms EVERY TIME are your best bet for both std/sti and pregnancy prevention - but if STDs/STIs aren’t an issue there are hormone free BC options - these are less effective at ~80% but when used 100% correctly according to the instructions can be a great alternative - a diaphragm Is one option - spermicides at another option - I went off BC recently and use spermicidal films - they can be inserted no less than 10 min before you start and last up to 3 hrs - it can still be a bit of a mood killer like condoms bc things start and you’re like “hold on I’ll be right back let me go in the bathroom and shove this film or gel up there and then let’s stare at each other for 10 min” one time recently we literally scrolled weird food pages on FB and stared at the clock for 12 min and then I threw my phone on the floor
Whatever you choose ONLY you have full control over your body and sexual health - do not let someone tell you what to use and what not to use and getting regular STD/STI checks is a great was to stay in the know about what’s going on inside your body
I used to be like that because I got std before in my past so yeah I would be asking too.
He … is going to be a handful. Maybe needs some counseling to discuss why he is overly cautious. I wouldn’t say it’s normal. But it also depends on his experience level.
You can both get tested and then you can both be at ease?
If he’s so concerned…he can wear a condom
Means he either knows he has one or he’s cheating
Very odd, he also can wear protection and he would of if he was this concerned. He’s a cheater. Run.
If he tells you you may have strep go to the dr
Ffs… he cares about his health and is being responsible about not having unplanned children. puzzles me how ladies want a good clean and responsible man… and when they come across one… oh its a red flag smh… keep screwing the community d**k men i guess
So have you tries the iud for birth control and maybe go in together and both of you get tested together for the whole std thing… also let him know that women get symtoms where men dont so he could also give you a std and not even know he had it
Go get tested together. If you feel weird about it then your probably shouldn’t be having sex lol.
Who is he fucking? Is all Id be askin
That’s huge red flags
It just sounds like he has anxiety around it. Go get tested together and have a bc plan you both agree on and have some fun !!
why would you have sex with him and he’s been talking about std’s? i would’ve said “let’s both get checked so there’s no worries”
Go get tested together seems a little weird for him to be sooo worried about STDs. He may have one or have had one before.
He needs to be able to trust you. That and trust in himself. If he is that paranoid then talk to him to get to the bottom of his trust issue and what is causing him to become paranoid. It has to be from an experience he had before. But he needs to know just because he experiences one thing doesn’t mean it gets repeated.
But it does sound alittle fishy that he’s paranoid of stds. I mean you guys don’t really have to worry about that if you guys are exclusively sleeping with eachother.
There’s someone else involved
Get tested and run. You don’t need that kind of drama in your life lady.
go get tested together