These are things that should have been discussed from the get go.
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I elf. Had yo walk in on a situation ending … feeling the vibes going
As well as general exposed into situations l would not want be a part of that made me in complete discussion of un faithful behave yourself or go l wd think 
but thry wanted to keep me in a cage to play with me at own lesure and throw me away anytime felt like breaking relationship rules
Your setting yourself up for heartache, you knew this would end up happening but you stayed. If you feel you can’t handle it then leave and find someone on the same page as you
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Instinct hs always right
If he’s Poly and you’re not. Leave. I am so sorry…
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Say good bye then you get the help you need
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Dropped a toxic mother but gained a toxic boyfriend?? He has never lied to you but he has. Doesn’t seem to give a sh!t of your metal state or that you’re still mourning the death of your father. You obviously don’t seem to like being in a poly relationship but are in one. Why?? If this true, you seem like a very vulnerable person, you need to seek help to get out of this relationship and work on yourself. For you and your sons sake, this will repeat if you don’t but you know who will be the toxic mother this time. You!!
This isn’t the relationship for you.
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At this point your breaking your own heart. He’s not going to be monogamous for u. End it with him. He’s not even caring of your emotional stage and morning loss.
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That’s not how it works take a swift exit to the right 
and keep going…
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Leave doll! Find a man that wants you and only you. But first learn how to be happy alone. I’m so sorry for your loss. Ik its hard! But you can do it. Your are strong and deserve happiness. I hope this helps
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Leave and find somebody who’s not going to use that as an excuse to cheat on you
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He’s not poly, you’re his girlfriend and you’re not. Soooooo he’s just screwing around and you’re accepting it because he’s “poly” 
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Poly is a mutual agreement, this is not… leave and find a man that appreciates you and wants just you.
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Good bye to him. Not a relationship you need to be in if you are already questioning it. God bless you.
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Usually poly people will find other poly people, because they want their partner to be comfortable with situations like that. I’ve met a few and they are really respectful and open to their partners about who they are with, who they sleep with, etc. It really depends if you said “I’m cool with this” and then are now changing your mind, which he should have also known because you aren’t poly, you are monogamous. I’m not trying to be rude about this, but this relationship won’t work because of the both of you. You do not have the same lifestyles and this will not end well. This is all something that should have been discussed beforehand and, especially, if he decided after the two of you were already together
You won’t. That’s his preference and lifestyle. I “saw” one got pregnant after awhile. Then he ghosted me. I’m not surprised or mad. Just sad one day I have to explain to my kid why daddy didn’t want them.
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Uh Oh! Better let him be.
Unfortunately if you arent comfortable with how he chooses to live then you should find something else that shares those same values. Its not fair to either of you.
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So you told him poly was ok to get him, now your mind is changed. So either this isn’t for you, or this girl isn’t the one that is going to mesh into your relationship well. Try finding a man that gives what yours isn’t giving and see if he fits better than another woman would. Maybe you are a 2 dudes type of chick.
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This isn’t poly. Polyamory is when you’re in agreement about having other partners and it’s clear you’re not okay with it. Realize your worth and don’t stand for anything you don’t want. There are other people out there who would appreciate you and give you the love you feel you deserve.
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Throw the whole man out.
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My husband and I are poly and this is not right at all we talk to each other about everything before anything happens even conversations
You don’t sound happy at all I would leave find someone you fit with it
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You deserve better, end of story.
This is not how these relationships work. Walk away and find someone better. Someone who can be truthful. Also set up therapy for yourself to deal with your stuff going on.
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Honey I think you already decided what you want to do. You have that little darling to think about from now on make a life for you both
We are poly. We date together. Not separately. That is not poly him just bringing some random girl into the relationship without you getting to know her first and agreeing she is a good match for both of yall. Nope. Tell him he has to find someone you like as well…not just toss a random person into your relationship…or you are done. I wouldnt take that either.
No offense, Men are not Poly. Men are horny and they want permission to cheat so they use terms like this. Break up with this guy and make your life so much better.
You do not have to share they’re plenty men out there that would just won’t u it’s not right if he’s going to have two or three girlfriends you can have two or three boyfriends that’s not love that’s lust
If you went in knowing about it 
Time to end things if you’re wanting monogamy and he’s wanting polyamory. It’s not fair for either of you to expect change in the other person
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Find someone that values u and will be committed to only u.
Poly…lmao…douche bag more like it LOL
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Unethical poly is cheating. But this is also why monos shouldn’t date polys. You’ll always have a reason he can’t do it right now and your reason will always seem valid.
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He’s lied before, you just didn’t know it was a lie. 
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Behaving like that is not the way to earn your place in heaven even if you don’t believe in heaven like me,not as an actual place full of the great and the good anyway.
Just because he’s a slimeball you don’t have to be one. He’s not “poly” he’s a tramp.
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Both people in the relationship should be on the same page . You both need to have a serious talk. But if you told him it was ok going into the relationship and now your not ok with it, let him know that. Communication is key. He also needs to respect your wishes, but you need to respect him as well.
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Poly or not there needs to be established boundaries and communication before any other relationships are sought.
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Honey… you both need to be on the same page… If he can’t accept that then you need to do what is best not only for you but for your child… Hoping everything works out well for you.
Poly = a trendy persons way of normalizing bad behavior i.e. cheating. You get what you allow. Period.
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A nice word for adultery? But I guess each to their own.
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So poly “relationships” is an entered agreement that both people can see other people…why is it an issue if he’s seeing someone else…I’m an old lady y’all help me understand
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Girl, why you even posting when you should be packing?! Apparently he/she/it is very confused. Get your baby out of there…that baby can’t do it alone.
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That is not poly as it has been explained by friends of mine who are poly. That is wanting his cake and eating it too. Poly is when BOTH agree on the person and they are all together…ditch him. He is using that to be able to date and be with multiple women as a cover for being a douche canoe
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People are friggin disgusting and I hope you find something better for yourself. I personally had a similar thing and I said absolutely not. Your child is watching and learning from you… don’t forget that part…. Also he is merely a child too… polygamy is always completely complicated no matter who tells me different I won’t listen. I believe in holy matrimony
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You deserve better. Get rid of him.
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Actions speak louder than words! If he’s not there for you, find a man that will be there for You.
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wtf is this poly shit. either you love someone or you move on. there isnt your cake and eat it too. what a world of bs
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WAKE UP. Take off those rose colored glasses. Why be with a guy that wants his cake and eat it too?! Ummmmm…NO. Know your worth. You deserve better than that and if a MAN really wants you, he WILL want ONLY YOU and put YOU first…PERIOD. You should NOT have to compete with another woman. Walk away NOW.
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Leave! Run. You and your child deserve better.
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Tell him how messed up that was and how you feel. If he doesn’t validate you then move on life is too short for that shit
She could also be convinced he is in her own opinion and very shallow in that case expose her by bribing her over for a powwow with your man and see if he fucked up or it’s her and her head
How can one be poly and the other not? You’re either in a polyamorous relationship or a monogamous one and getting cheated on. I would definitely get out now! Anyone who is okay with making their partner feel unhappy or uncomfortable is a NO GO! Find you a man who is all about you, because that is what you deserve!
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That’s not poly… you can do better
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Sweetheart this has no good end, If your not enough for him move on find some one who will be totally about you
You deserve it so while he keeps searching for something or someone to complete his life it will never happen you on the other hand go ahead put yourself out there what have you got to lose obviously he is not going to be devoted to you and only you so you don’t even have to break up with him because he’s doing what he is doing for himself you do the same you never know what you will find out there if you don’t try
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You knew he was poly and agreed to still be with him. If a person is poly, they set rules between their partners and more than one relationship is had at the same time. Did you expect him to change for you? Seems like you were never poly and wanted him to practice monogamy.
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Hit him with the “okay I’m Poly too”
His tone will change real quick
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You lost your father in February. Give yourself more time to feel that. Lots more time. And you have a child to care for. You said he claims your child but what does he do for your child? You’d be better off alone than with people messing with your heart and mind. This is a time in your life when you need to nuture care and come to understand yourself more deeply. Emotional dependence or yearning for emotional support that he doesn’t have to give you could wreck you right now. Take hot baths, go for walks, enjoy your child, grieve your loses.
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Move on…leave him behind…NOW…MOVE NOW…dont wait and dont look back
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Point blank pack your stuff and leave n get some help for yourself n child if need. Good luck with it all. 
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That’s not really fair. Poly relationships usually go both ways, so if you somehow aren’t allowed to go get another man then it’s not right in my opinion. I’d just move on especially when you have a child to look out for.
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This is BS. Tell him to pack his bags and you need to greive and then move on. Find someone better or better yet learn to love yourself.
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I thought you meant Polynesian 
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This is not polly. He’s cheating. This is not ok.
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You’re going through some really heavy emotional stuff right now. You need someone you can lean on for support and have trust in. Being in a relationship that is basically one sided, isn’t a healthy one. If he easily allows himself to date other women you can never know where his heart is. Yours sounds like it’s being broken by his behavior. It will be a difficult thing to make him leave, but it will be worth your peace of mind and self worth in the end. I think he should pack his stuff and leave.
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Move on girl why stick with a man like this MOVE ON ASAP!!!
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One person in the relationship can’t be poly. It’s either both of you or it’s not a relationship. If he can’t put his sexual needs on the back burner for a bit while your healing you need to bail. And fast.
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Cake and eat it comes to mind lol
This would probably be the time I say move on. You need to heal from the loss of your dad AND your mother. Even if she is toxic, she is still your mother and that’s hard to come to terms with once you let them go. And don’t forget your child, you need to focus on being you and being a mother and BREATHE…
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Maybe you need to start a tinder profile and leave it open so he gets a bit of his own mental medicine and can question his own actions without you having to say anything
He can’t get mad. But he can get jealous and then you’ll have your chance to explain that this is how you feel when he does these things
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The fact that the other girl is claiming an ongoing relationship behind your back tells you that he’s not the one for you. He doesn’t respect your mutual boundaries and he definitely doesn’t respect that you are in a vulnerable place emotionally right now. Leave him, find yourself before you start to look for someone else.
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These types of relationships do not work. Period. How many cute elderly couples in there 70’s do you know that live this way!? Hardly none because this won’t work out for long term! Do better for your child.
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Sounds harsh but who’s house is he living in?
You can’t be in a relationship where one is poly and this is exactly why.
If you were ok with an open relationship, those are your boundaries. But if you never had a proper agreement for this, then let him go.
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Run from the POLY LIFE. IT DOESN’T SEEM LIKE THE LIFE FOR YOU. GO BE HAPPY GIRL
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Think of your mental health and get out. Focus on you and healing from your parents death/loss. If poly isn’t your lifestyle nor do you esnt it to be, at least for now, don’t be in a relationship with someone who is. Don’t stay for your child either, they know can feel the tension and stress and don’t need to deal with that.
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So give him a cracker !
GET OUT NOW!!! he will never respect you nor tell you the truth about ANYTHING! have enough respect for the future of your child, and you. he’s been lying to you all along. if he claims the child as his. make him pay support. you can be strong for your child. and like some of the others have said, your mental health is important. and he had proved that he doesn’t care about you, your child or your mental health
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Opening line states “I” and “He”… If your pronouns to describe your relationship are singular instead of plural… You are in the wrong relationship!
Did u agree to a poly relationship to begin with?
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So why would you be with a man that was very open and honest from the beginning and even now.You have no right now to say you mentally cant handle this…this is what you signed up for…hello…
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Well if hes polly leave he will want many wives lol pack u bags and go girl
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The relationship seems very much like he just isn’t invested. Time to move on.
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Coming from someone who tried a poly relationship, that isn’t ethical polyamory. That’s straight up cheating.
Leave, and get your mental health better.
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Ask him if you can find a real man! Let the girl have him! If it’s ok for him to do it how would he fee if you did it? And you don’t have to want your child subject to this lifestyle then you need to do what is best for them! Poly is not for everyone and you are already upset at the fact of it! Move on go find yourself! Become a badass queen and don’t tolerate any bullshit! Get out of your dark place and figure out YOU because quite frankly he’s being a little selfish if you ask me! You DESERVE better and nothing ends well when he’s thinking about another woman instead of helping you out of this dark place! Real men Have respect and MORALS! And he has neither!
If you aren’t comfortable then leave.
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I’d say goodbye to him!
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weighing in here. Me and my man engage in poly activities. If you tell him you aren’t comfortable with it or even ask him to end it and explained why and how it wasn’t not ok, and he still continues you might as well leave now. He is taking advantage of you. He is just in it because he can have his cake and eat it to. If I ever told my man I was uncomfortable with anything he would shut that shit down real quick
Why even put yourself in that situation. Smh focus on you and your child then worry about a MAN that’s dedicated to you and only you.
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Love the poly shaming it looks so good on you ladies 
It seems he was very open and honest about his lifestyle and you jumped into that with a child if you were mentally ready or still aren’t you need to let him go it’s not healthy for either of you to live up to expectations you both have expressed you’re not comfortable with.
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People have different views on polyamory, just as some people have view about a two person relationship.
Honestly he should have waited a bit for you to mourn your loss yes, maybe been a little more considerate since you are also his partner.
You also have to understand that you knew he was poly and would eventually end up with a second wife or even third. That’s his belief and you have yours when it comes to relationships. You knew what you was getting into but he should have also waited a bit until you was emotionally stable after your loss. It’s 50/50 on this if your already feeling betrayed because he found a second wife then i would highly advise you to leave the relationship. In a polyamorous relationship you can’t have all attention just for you, it has to be divided equally into all partners. This is coming from someone who has been and still into polyamory. Everyone has different beliefs/ religions and views in this life. Not saying he’s not wrong because he definitely should have waited a little bit but this was coming , he might have been talking to her for a while and he definitely should consider your feelings too but you have to consider his and his new partner too.
You knew what you was getting into and I’m sorry your going through this.
Don’t even give it a second thought or a minute of your time. LEAVE.
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Never lied ‘that you know of’!!!
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Don’t walk run and don’t look back
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That’s like choosing fish off the restaurant menu, and then complaining that it tastes ‘fishy’ Don’t expect support from him. He has other fish to fry. I am sorry for your loss.
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If your not fully comfortable being in a relationship with someone who is poly, I don’t think you should have ever started dating,Especially if your monogamous and that’s what you want.
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You shouldn’t have started a relationship or involved your child with someone who is poly, if you weren’t comfortable w that life fully. It’s selfish of you to ask someone to change something so big this deep into a relationship.
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100% on you. You knew who he was when you started. You should not have brought a child into it as well. You’re only options are 1) Suck it up you chose this life. 2) Walk away.
So yeah that’s a hard no for me. Don’t get it at all.
You started a relationship with him knowing this and now you can’t handle it.Leave hun especially with a child involved.He’s got it made