That poly crap is just an excuse to mess around. That’s a made up excuse to not have to be faithful and I cannot believe people fall for it. Kick him to the curb… if a man or woman wants to be with someone else then they don’t love you. It’s selfish. Switch it up on him and tell him you’re going to start dating others too!
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OMG. get rid of the Bloke fast.
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If he’s poly that would mean you are as well if your actually together… if it’s just him that would be cheating…
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you should have thought about this before you entered a relationship with this man. Really should’ve sat down & thought about the energy & trust it takes to be with someone who is poly.
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If it’s not working for you… IT’S NOT WORKING … time to look for somebody who is better for you. The good thing, is you don’t need to leave. Just keep an open mind for someone else. He gets to be poly, so do you.
I swear I’m convinced poly whatever is just an excuse to cheat!!! 
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Why in the world would you date someone who has that lifestyle? You need to respect yourself, you deserve better. One on one relationship is what you want.
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Honestly sounds like he is poly and you are not. You need to find a relationship where you can be someone’s main focus and not share their time and attention. There is nothing wrong with being poly, but both adults should be on the same page and it sounds like you’re not. Also, he’s never lied to you that you’ve CAUGHT him in before, that doesn’t mean he doesn’t lie.
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Was he open and honest about the fact he doesn’t do monogamous relationships when y’all first started talking??
If he was then you knew before ever even putting him in your child’s life that the day would come that he would have you and another gf….
This is the way this man has chosen to live his life and if you aren’t okay with that then you really need to explain that to him so y’all can both move on and find what you’re looking for in life
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Poly is very difficult to navigate. You sound like you’re not on board. You need to either leave, or accept that he will not have 100% of his time dedicated to you.
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If a poly relationship isn’t working for you it’s time to not be in it.
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Oh honey. I’m sorry for your hurt. However, I’d believe her. And as much as you think you’re willing to accept his lifestyle, you really aren’t. And neither is she by the sounds of it. Id walk away from that. You said your mental health isn’t the best right now, this is absolutely not a situation for you. It is only going to make it worse
Polyamorous woman here,
Its ok to not be poly. Its ok to not be monogamous. (Ethically!!)
It sounds like this particular type of arrangement isn’t for you! And that’s ok!!!
It does require a lot of communication, openness and honesty. Jealousy is normal but if you’re not there, you’re not there.
And also, if poly IS what you want don’t listen to those who trash poly because its not their thing. They are clueless. And speak about things they don’t know/understand.
Leave him honey. You deserve someone who will not lie to you and someone who wants to give you and your kid all of their love not half.
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Your needs arent being met. He isnt fulfilling his obligation to you and thats why it wont work. Being Poly isnt an excuse to be selfish.
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Two problems here. 1. You are in a relationship with a man you know to be poly- and expect him not to be. 2. He is in a relationship with a person who is not poly and he expects you to be ok with it.
Each of you are expecting the other to change or accept the other’s expectations.
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So your boyfriend is poly and you are not? If that’s the case, then you aren’t in the right relationship. People that are in healthy polyamorous relationships, are both on the same page, have rules and abide by the rules they’ve set together, communicate and respect their partners feelings. It doesn’t sound like any of that is happening. Bow out of the relationship with dignity, don’t stay with him just because you feel obliged to your feelings of loneliness. You can straight up tell him the polyamorous relationship is not your style and you aren’t getting what you need out of the relationship. You are not obligated to date him just because he’s poly and you aren’t. It’s okay to put your feelings and emotions elsewhere and don’t let him try and tell you otherwise, it kind of feels like he knows you are in a bad place emotionally and pretty much does whatever he wants because he knows you aren’t going anywhere. I wish I could give you a hug, go have a coffee and remind you how beautiful you are, the potential you have and that the world is at your fingertips. My advice as a stranger and a mom is to just bow out gracefully and focus on you until you find the right person whose values and goals align with yours without having to compromise your feelings.
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Wait so you specifically chose to date a poly guy and complains he wants to see others? 
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Time to break OUT. GO. RUN!!
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You’re either ok with it or you’re not. If you’re not then let him find someone else who is
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If your not poly. You shouldn’t be dating someone who is. It’s great that you are allowing him to live his life the way he wants, but you’re denying yourself what you want.
You should leave and take some time for yourself. Find a person who is monogamous and has time for you and your child, instead of balancing multiple relationships.
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I’d just end the relationship. He doesn’t want a relationship the way you do. You are going to continually be hurt. Not his fault just not right for you.
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Poly can be difficult to navigate. Everybody involved needs to be on board 100 percent. Nothing if your fault, you’re not doing anything wrong but maybe having a partner with that lifestyle isn’t for you
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Well if he is poly would you try doing the same? If you want attention might want to find someone who only wants 1 partner instead of multiple
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Your in a poly relationship, find another man. If he doesn’t like that then he’s not poly he’s just selfish. The point of poly is to make sure all partners needs are met, yours aren’t being met so find another partner. It’s not for me but I have several friends who are
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Calling himself poly is an excuse for him to screw around
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I’m sorry but if you can’t handle him being poly you need to get out of the relationship now. It would be better for you, your child and him in the long run. I get easier said than done, and you’ve had some losses recently but if you don’t do something now, before you have a child that IS his, you will end up being even more resentful and miserable later on.
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Generally, a couple decides if they’re going to both accept and be poly, otherwise it will be just like cheating to the other party. Stay strong chica.
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Leave if your needs aren’t being met. Being with someone who’s poly isn’t for everyone and that’s okay.
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I’m old. What’s poly?
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Find a man that respects you
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the fact that you have a child & you brought this man into your child’s life…WOW, If it was just you & him , that is one thing, but a child !!! Really think about what you are doing, Plus, you knew just what he was when you went into this relationship, Did you really think he will change ???
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If the poly life isn’t you - leave it now.
If it is, but you’re not feeling it right at this moment bc he’s not living up to his part in what you need. Then I say - you go find a man that does/will. After all you’re in a poly - so get to polying.
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You got with him knowing he was poly… Maybe it’s not the type of relationship for you. Which is fine.
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Go find a man that wants a monogamous relationship. If you stay, he’s gonna do it anyway then when you confront him, he’ll say you knew what I was into beforehand.
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If you’re not poly, then that’s okay. You don’t need to settle for a partner who is. If that’s not something you want or are comfortable with. Find someone who just wants you. Sounds like he’s not the right guy for you. Sorry girl. I’d move on.
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I’d end it hunny… find you’re a good support person and work on healing your heart
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I wouldnt judge anyone for their relationship choices but it wouldn’t be for me. Hes told you his intentions if you can’t accept that then leave and take time out to decide what exactly you’re looking for in a future relationship.
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Dump him. You deserve monagyny
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LEAVE… id just leave…
I can’t believe you brought a child into this kind of relationship. I’m all for doing whatever makes you happy, even if that is polyamory . But to bring a child into that lifestyle? That is straight up irresponsible.
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How can one person in a relationship be poly and the other not? If you don’t like the poly arrangement, then you should find someone that wants to be monogamous - it doesn’t seem like he wants to change. Or at least communicate with him that you’d like to be monogamous and see what he has to say.
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Communication in poly relationships is key. Things need to be discusses and compromises made or it all falls apart. If you are unhappy then leave to find your happiness.
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2 words! Dump! Him!
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It’s your fault that you got with someone knowing they are poly, when you aren’t even comfortable with it and even had a child with him. He’s being honest. That’s not fair. U want him to change how he is for you? He’s communicating properly, you didn’t. You wanted to go in this and try to change him… poly ppl are very honest and communicate alot. From experience.
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Was he honest and upfront about being poly prior to starting the relationship?
I suggest asking these questions on a poly group, where they are more familiar with these dynamics.
Yeah I wouldn’t get involved with someone that’s poly if you’re not yourself. That’s asking for trouble
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have a heart to heart talk to him , and if he does not respond to u honest -it’s time to leave him and get a dna test on the baby . if the dna test comes that he is not the father leave him . and one day you will find the man u are looking for but first u have to get your life in order to do so . your #1 is the baby remember this in any relation ship u may have that baby is # 1 . but i would suggest that u leave him
I don’t think any relationship will work out if only one person is poly and the other is not. Unfortunately, it doesn’t sound like the two of you are compatible and it’s probably best to leave now because your child gets even more attached/involved.
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Give yourself the time you need to heal and close the door on him. Then he will understand that you are a person too. Someone with real problems of her own and deserves to have time to heal and come out of your problems a live. And please, give your son a little extra love vs any man. No man deserves to be love more than your son.
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You’re clearly not ok with it so don’t waste more time with it.
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Find some one else he’s a loser !!
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Communication is key, and Communication beforehand is KEY…
It sounds like he didn’t really discuss this with you and you both have failed to discuss how this will affect your relationship and nuclear family situation…
If all parties aren’t 100% ok with adding a partner, in a poly relationship… then it either shouldn’t be done just yet…
Or, in your case, the person new to poly should probably end it.
You aren’t emotionally equipped at this point… still mourning and he has failed you by setting it as a ‘this is what’s happening’ thing instead of ‘I’m interested in this, but I value you and your standing and would like to discuss this with you’ thing. It is disrespectful and not how a healthy poly relationship functions… that’s not mutual respect.
You need to think this over, very seriously, and decide what your next step is…
I, personally, wouldn’t tolerate that disrespect… I, personally, know my value and do not accept less…
he seems lost on how healthy poly relationships work…
Good luck momma
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Uummm leave that mess, it won’t get any better for you staying.
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being poly means communication. You both need to communicate how you feel or it won’t work.
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Being poly is messy/complicated, it doesnt sound like it’s your thing either do you really like this guy enough to put up with that?
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Omg 
get out of the relationship. It’s toxic. You deserve BETTER. Kick him to the curb…
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Are you freaking kidding ? Why ? Just why ? That kind of relationship 
… Nooooo
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You don’t sound like you’re ok with it and no matter how much you try to convince yourself that you are, there’s always going to be another person that he starts seeing and it’s not going to go away. Have a talk with him. If this is not for you anymore move on. I know life is a bunch of chaos right now and you don’t want to add more to it but this isn’t going to help you be happy. It’s not something you can ignore.
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You can’t be in a relationship with a person that is poly, if you’re not willing to accept them being poly. If you knew this before getting into the relationship then it’s actually your own fault for bringing a child into a relationship you “aren’t mentally stable enough to handle” you’ve made it pretty clear you should be focusing on yourself and your child, not expecting someone to change their ways to suit you. And being poly doesn’t make someone a bad person, some of these comments are wild🤣 some of you are just proving you have no idea what it even means
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No I wouldn’t be in a relationship if the guy was poly and I had a child
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Sounds like you need a man that will choose you and only you. Get out of that relationship because it’s clearly not for you. Why would you want to share your man with another woman? I think it’s a sorry excuse of a relationship to be able to cheat .
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Tough one. I couldn’t be with someone who is poly personally. It’s a big deal . Talking is the best thing. If you can both discuss it but tbh I wouldn’t stay. You obviously accepted this at some point.
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Kinda comes with the territory of dating someone who is poly, she should probably just leave because he isn’t going to stop doing it
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he’s got to go bro, if he can’t handle u at your worst plus your loss omg that’s harsh on his part! I feel mad for u and i don’t even know u, i could only imagine how u feel. Maybe u should let this one go girl, u might have a breakdown or trauma if u stay sounds like he has no regards for your feelings or relationship. Plus think about your kid and only your kid this guy is just a SL*T and needs an excuse to cheat POLY MY FKN A55 ewww
If being poly is not your thing and it is his, i would leave. He will prolly never give it up.
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You need strangers to tell you the obvious?
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I’m assuming that multi-partner relationships are for those who enjoy having a variety of needs met.
Navigating relationships that are more of an open loop require a lot of communication about feelings/boundaries.
All relationships need balance.
My guess is, relationships consisting of more than 2 people…must be more complex/challenging to keep on solid ground.
Addressing things directly & without delay is key.
If we let even small problems “sit” they eventually magnify into big problems.
With that being said, I myself could never engage in polyamory because it seems that in a way it would require some emotional detachment.
I’d feel as though any feelings experienced such as: jealousy, hurt, & yearning for more….I’d have to push way down & ignore as not to disrupt the peace. If I were to ignore my heart long-term? Well, there’s a word for that….suffering.
I suggest that you ask yourself if you are truly built for that lifestyle. Are you capable of putting jealousy aside while at the same time realizing that your needs are important?
Good luck!!! 
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That’s not a poly relationship. That sounds more like and open relationship. From friends that I know to be in a poly relationship, they’re in a relationship together. Not just one person. There has to be agreement and an understanding between the 3 of you because a poly relationship is just a little more than a mono relationship.
This here just sounds more like an open relationship with you not comfortable with it. And you shouldn’t. I think you just got downgraded to side chick.
Walk away. You’ll only be miserable.
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Never understood Poly relationships.
If my husband ever tried to be with another woman he gon poly-get his ass whooped
If you went into the relationship knowing he was poly, you can’t now hold it against him. I know you’re going through a lot right now but you knew going in. Talk to him and if he truly wants yell to work he’ll make the changes for you but you can’t ask him to change that part now after you excepted it to begin with.
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Sounds like a whole mind fuck you do NOT need.
Part of poly relationships is trust and communication and both parties being in agreement. If that isnt being met and hes doing it behind your back hes cheating.
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Hate to say it but leave while the leavings good and find someone later that’s good and attentive to you the way it should be. You will see that you didn’t need him
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I suggest you join a Polayam support group on fb and ask for advice there. There are a lot of experienced and wise people who will be able to help you 
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I may be too conventional, but I see all these new labels as an excuse to cheat. If you’re not enough for him leave him.
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Ummm. He started seeing her before you two talked about it? Did you know prior that he was going to see other people?
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Make sure u boil sum grits before u slap him with his bfast!!!
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Ummm him going behind your back is cheating, unless y’all are in an open relationship and agreed to that. I’d say he is saying he’s poly so he can do what he wants.
I’d leave.
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Dear Lord help us with all this made up BS. Poly??? FUCK!!! RIDICULOUS!!! Your bf just wants to have sex with someone else. Period. That’s it. So, doesn’t matter who or what you call it. He doesn’t want a monogamous relationship. Dump him!!
Get divorced save yourself a lot of heartbreaking ok
Please join Poly + Mono Relationships. Before you listen to people who don’t understand this dynamic.
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Why would you want to share your man? Love your self more. You are worthy of love and deserve to be loved the correct way. God bless!
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He’s not for you. If you dont want that…then you need to not be with him. Terrible
Let him be poly by himself. You want more out of life like respect! You child will be so confused with daddy’s other women…no you and your child deserve better. It’s better to be alone than with all that pain.men rope women into this kind of relationship because women feel inferior to them or they feel ugly feel like no men are attracted to them. The list is endless. Kick his ass to the curb what kind of example is he to your child? He is a cheat with a name of poly attached to it.
I’m old what the hell is a poly???
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This is not “poly”. This is a 
having a harem. Poly only has a hope in hell of working when BOTH enthusiastically want it. And you do not.
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Leave now fast as you can
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Did u know he was poly when u started this relationship? If you’re not into the poly relationships you need to end it. Sounds like he’s not changing his stance and you will not be happy. You want to be monogamous n he’s not up for that. You are setting yourself and child up for huge heartbreak 
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Sounds like a poly man is not your cup of tea, don’t waste his time and see yourself out
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So… He told you from the jump he was gonna be seeing other people… (Poly) and you were cool with it till now? Right??
Yikes personally I think it’s a bunch of baloney
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Honestly, it sounds like he’s down with the poly life and you are not. In the grand scheme of things, neither of you will be satisfied with this relationship in the end. He clearly wants to pursue other people and you clearly are not down with the lifestyle. He’s already went ahead and done what he’s wanted regardless of your feelings about it.
As far as the child goes, this relationship WILL break down eventually. It’s already showing signs and THAT’S OKAY. It’s better to tear the bandaid off now with that than to let the child become attached and live years and years with this person just for it not to work out. Deep down you aren’t happy and this post shows it. Choose yourself, love.
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It has to work for you also and if he isn’t finding time for you, he’s not poly… He just wants his cake and to eat it too.
My ex husband claimed to be poly, really… He was just bored at home and needing something else… I divorced him over a similar issue.
I’m sorry to hear this and I hope the best for you, but you have to do what’s best for you.
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Usually signs are l go got I don’t want to hurt you
Are not commited
I could always tell when my ex parter unfortunately was in the position cheating high coming down unfaithful
Im sorry you’re going through that. There are so many men out there that are willing to do whaat he wont, definitely keep your boundaries and dont potentially harm yourself further staying in a relationship where he doesnt value your feelings and opinions. (This is my opinion, women are far greater gifts than any man and you deserve more. You wouldnt be here otherwise)
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If you know someone is poly, you have the choice whether you’re open to it or not. Can’t change your mind based upon your circumstances. If you’ve changed your mind, then end the relationship. You can’t expect him to just switch his choice or behaviour. And although someone says they’ll take on your children, there is never a guarantee. Just like biological parents.
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Maybe don’t get in a relationship who’s poly?
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