Don’t stay. I promise you, they will not change man or woman, if they change for a bit, they will go back. It’s not worth the pain.
This doesn’t sound like a loving and nurturing relationship. If you can accept the behavior then stay, but it sounds like you don’t want to accept the behavior… No relationship is perfect but you didn’t say why you are staying. Are the redeeming qualities in him enough to balance out his rude and callous behavior?
Get the heck out!! He’s rude, entitled & will never treat you right.
You don’t want to spend the rest of your life like that. Run as fast as you can away from him. You and your child are worth so much more.
Leave him and don’t look back! He sounds like narcissist who’s also has control issues. It will be difficult because you were together seven years, but you and your daughter who love and appreciate you and your daughter.
He obviously lacks adult conversation skills , caring, being a partner, so why would you want to be with him? He is not relationship material. Do not feel bad if he says negative things. He probably self loathes and is unable to participate in a relationship. It is not about you. It is him.
It’s time you put your foot down and make him change. You need to walk away from this relationship. He is obviously not your Prince Charming. If you plan to marry this man you will be miserable for the rest of your life. You need him to also see you are serious about how he treats you. If he really loves you he will make the changes to better your all’s relationship. If he really wants this then he will show you the love and support you deserve.
I think you already have your answer. You are just fearful of leaving him. He isn’t bringing much that is positive to your life or your child’s. Find your happiness from within. Trust me, he won’t be a part of that!
This how it starts and the next thing you know… you’ve got hands on your neck and your struggling to breathe. Sorry you’re going through this and hope you see the damage to you and your child and get out before it’s too late. God bless.
You don’t want to spend the rest of your life with someone like that. Leave.
The signs were there from the beginning and they started with you not closing the door before opening a new one love…I hope you love your self a little bit more this time around and allow yourself to be happy with you and your kids…he didn’t seem interested from the beginning dear…
Girl take your kid and run for your life!!! You can’t be that desperate. 7 years of your time has already been wasted😡. It’s not going to get any better and you’ll probably died out of this one way relationship
You know the answer, please think of your children, they see everything and will think that is the way to be treated or the way to treat someone, you can do bad all by yourself!! Leave his behind!! Give yourself and your babies a better life!! Much luck and I’ll pray for you!
Any significant other that don’t want to spend time with their significant others children can f off.
And girl, get your peace back. You’re beating a dead horse. He’ll claim to change AGAIN, and he will for a short time. Then go right back to his old ways. Stop wasting your precious time. Moreover, stop teaching your children that’s how relationships work. If you have a son, your teaching him, that’s how to treat women. If you have a daughter, your showing her what to accept from a “man.”
Move on, sis.
Get out get out asap I had exactly the same with my ex he will NEVER change and he will drag you down just to make himself feel good.
Think of your children they deserve so much more a mother who is relaxed and not living in fear and walking on egg shells.
It will be hard but it does get better
Yeah honey, it’s time to walk. When you get that sad old story “I promise I’ll change”…you know for a fact that he won’t. My advice to you is to find yourself a place, and get out. DO NOT marry this man unless you want to live the rest of your life like this. Take it from someone who spent 18 years with someone that started out being the perfect soulmate and ended up being a lazy do nothing bum. Time goes by so fast, and before you know it, your daughter will be grown, and you’ll be middle aged. Get out now. Get out, and be happy.
If he won’t be a part of the family then he’s not in the family get out now build a beautiful life for you and your daughter! He doesn’t cherish you! Cherish yourself
The disrespect whilst dating will be even worse during marriage…if he cannot respect you now he is never going to. Rather leave and save your self from a lifetime of questioning your worth. Also you and your daughter don’t deserve that…we are living in a time where women are strong and you should be…everything of the best❤
Then don’t get out now! He sounds rude , uncaring and selfish. He thinks only of his feelings. If you’re not married to him get out before he makes you miserable. Seems he doesn’t want to do get out and do nothing. Does he love you? Do you love him? He seems to take you for granted and it seems he’s not wanting to change. If you can live with him that way then stay If there’s any love left . if your loves mediocre and expect him to change , he’s not! Get out! You deserve to be loved in the way you would want to be loved. I’d much rather be alone and happy than live like that.
Girl, the writing is on the wall on how he is gonna be. Do you want your children to copy how to treat someone? Get out before it’s to late.
He has already showed you what life would be like if you married him. Walk (Run) away. You and your daughter will never be happy with him.
I’d rather be alone than live with the likes of that. Give your head a shake but do it wisely and not like I did. Get quality legal advice and start over.
Get out! You have just freed yourself from one that didn’t treat you right, why now settle for anything less than being free from hurt, disrespect, disappointment and disregard for you and your child!? Don’t be afraid to be on your own to be happy!
Unfortunately you are his babysitter. If he treats you badly now, it will only get worse after you’re married. Get out while you can.
Move forward… You are your daughter’s role model. Teach to lover herself and be respected.
There is no future with this man he won’t change unfortunately
Been there and I agree— he has NO intention of changing but YOU are a POWERFUL example to your daughter, show her NO one should ever treat you this way ( you both deserve better) leave now while you have your wits and your courage and go where he’s NOT ( just in case he decides to cause trouble) get transferred if possible,
If you’re having these doubts right now, run as fast as you can. You and your children deserve better. Believe me, his attitude will rub off on your kids.
Get out of the situation, he will never change and he gets the benefits of a family life without having to participate or take responsibility for family matters. You are raising the kids by yourself now with a partner.
You answered your own question, Sweetie! You deserve better & so does your child!
Run. Respect isn’t something that just gets turned back on. Why live miserable for no reason? Life is too precious and you’re teaching your kids how relationships work without even realizing it.
Do not live in that environment
. There is someone out that would appreciate someone decent. Do not ruin your entire life being put down. First, get Jesus in your heart. Go to church, obey Acts 2. 38. Get the right kind of man that will be born again also, Then you can have a happy home. With a peaceful life. God bless.
Don’t do it ! Sounds like a control freak and he gets off on demeaning you
You are asking us for advice, but you have already made up your own mind. Be confident and proud & do what you already know, needs to be done. All the best xx
Walking away is hard but once you do it will be the best thing you could have done.
After you are on your own take time for yourself, love yourself, be good to yourself and stay single for a while until you know what you truly want and need.
No! Trust me, you don’t! If It’s bad now, it will only get worse. Cut your losses. Mourn the end of the relationship. Dodge that bullet!! Been on my own for the last three years. Happier and more financially healthy than I had been the previous 18 years.
I honestly think you need to have time for just you and your child. You honestly already know this is not how you want to live you life so why settle for that? You and your child deserve someone better and there is someone better out looking for you. Even his children deserve better.
Seven years of your life is too long to spend on a bum. Let’s get this straight…he’s not a Fiancé unless he’s gotten down on one knee, given you a ring, and you’ve set a date. That’s the definition of a fiancé. He’s just a deadbeat boyfriend. LEAVE!!!
Good luck if you stay. But if he treats you this bad now it will only get worse. You know what they say…if he really loved you he would treat you with respect!!
Someone once told me we get treated the way we allow ourselves to be treated. He is used to treating you this way because it is who he is. You can’t control how he acts but you can control how you react. Why would you put up with this kind of treatment? You deserve better. Being alone is better than being with the wrong someone. I have been there and I know.
You will be headed for your second relationship failure. Go to counseling and find out why you are putting up with this behavior
I tried for 27 yrs to change a guy ,just like your guy , would cry and say I’m just so stressed .And he promised for 27yrs
he would change . I’m sorry to tell you they don’t change . They are who they were , are , and always will be . At least that has been my experience. It was hard to walk away . But it was best decision I ever made. Good luck.
Don’t waste your time. You can do bad all by yourself.
I’ve been married for 35 years and I’ve wasted my whole time. But, i should’ve not gotten married.
But I sure as heck won’t get married again. Life is to short. STAY HAPPY AND GET AWAY.
ENJOY YOUR KIDS.
From my perspective I’d say he’s unhappy, men act like brats when they want to leave but feel like they have to stay . Also only ‘do them’ and feel no need to be a doughting parnter or even try.
I’d sit him down and have some real talk . Question the way he is but also say how unhappy it makes you and how you can’t see a happy future ahead .
If he continues to act like a doosh just pack his shit up ,you deserve better .x
That is right. what kind of life is That! It sure isn’t going to get better. Get out quick and Don’t look back. Look ahead for yourself and kids. May not be easy but we’ll worth it. Try not to get bitter find fin things to make good memories for your family… mental and emotional health are important. There is also help out there for you get it.
Sounds like it’s time to leave him. He is obviously not interested in a long term finalized relationship. Sounds like you have been thru enough heartache. I am sure you are worth more than that. Time to move on
As a man myself If you are being treated that way it is time to hit the road and don’t look back. He is never going to change unless he goes to counseling and even then if he is close minded it won’t do any good. Cut your losses now and move on. That being said what he is doing is mental abuse. If he breaks you then its game over. You will end up being his slave forever.
You said, you have been with him as his fiancee for 7 years. How many more years do you need to come to your senses! For crying out loud! Are you brain dead??
Red flags! Don’t walk, run! I had this almost same situation also for 7 years. I finally just couldn’t listen to him berating me and his kids. Making rude comments. Being an a$$. Saying bad stuff about my family. Once I had an opening I was out!
I don’t know why anybody would want to stay in a relationship like that. The unhappiness and rude behavior will eventually cause problems with the kids. It will teach them that it is okay to treat you inappropriately. You dont deserve it.
My old lady advice… When ppl tell you who they are…believe them. It sounds like you know what needs done but haven’t come to terms with it yet. Big hugs.
Run, not walk, run away. Nobody, under any circumstances need abuse. Even verbal abuse, is still abuse. I dont believe he is interested in you or your emotions. He sounds self centered. Sounds that you are second, an afterthought. You should be first in you husband’s life, NEVER SECOND! I’ve been married 29 years and went to counseling before we got married. That was the best action my husband & I did. Since we were getting married in our church (I am not on a soap box preaching religion) but our pastor gave us a written test. There was no pass/fail. There was discussion. If you still feel that he can change, my opinion, they dont. Try counseling before you continue in this relationship. You are worth it!!
Sounds like a complete looser and a time bomb getting ready to explode. Why do want to be with him!!! Get out of that relationship and find some respect for yourself girl!! Life is too short.!!!
Coming from someone who was married to a narcissist for 23 years, run! Don’t even him home your time and energy. You deserve better. It’s hard to do, you have to look out for you and your kids. Prayers to you!!!
RUN nor bwing rude but are you attracted to this type of man. I knoww way too many people who always seem ro pick the wrong one. Maybe something to think about and why do you if that’s the case.
Well simple, walk away! Leave and pull yourself , live your life without shits. Why stay??? Its not a rocket science! You are strong so, go get your daughter away from him! And live your life!!! Those kind of men are not worth fighting for!
Then don’t, if your not happy now you may never be, either love him for everything he is unconditionally or leave him alone, this is what your life is going to look like.
You can’t change him, only HE can change who he is, he has to want to change.
Dump his ass your better then that there was a reason he got dumped before and I think you found out why you deserve better next time don’t be is such a hurry learn to love yourself first and you won’t make the same mistake good luck he won’t change he is to self centered
Why are you still with him - you are responsible for your daughter’s health and well being - how is this effecting her. Go to your GP to get referred for some support or maybe family could support.
I’m sorry but before I finished your story my honest thought was leave this rude guy! Your alone anyways right! Make a new life for you and you kid(s) and true love will find you blended family and all I know it happened to me
Your supposed to be a team. He is only for himself. Its time to leave. This is who he is. Your job is not to make him a better person. That’s his job. Your job is to raise your child in a loving environment. Uou currently aren’t doing that. Be strong and start your life for you and you child.
Sorry,he doesn’t sound mature. Life is short be with an Individual who enjoys being with u n the family.
Best of luck!
Move on to someone that has more of a like minded way of life and leave him to his ways . You are opposites when you want someone to change their ways you don’t love them you love what you want
Leave with your child and get on with your life.
He will never change . Seven years has more than proved that.
You just answered your own question. “I don’t know if I want to spend the rest of my life like that.” DON’T!!! Get out now. He’s not going to change and if you marry him, it will end up in another divorce.
What the heck do you need him for? Get out while the getting is good! You are looking at nothing but misery for the rest of your life if you stay with him. Don’t just leave, run, run for your life!!!
Girl unless he’s wearing a diaper you can’t change him. Seems to me like you’ve already wasted 7 years of your life with someone that doesn’t appreciate you. Get out while the gettins good & don’t waste anymore of your time cuz it’s something you can’t get back.
You don’t and he won’t. It’ll hurt but it sounds like you need to decide if you want the kids growing up with your current relationship as their model/example… A relationship should be partnership… A team effort.
This poor woman…. Imagine not knowing how WRONG this is and seeking advice about something so obvious to people with good self esteem. So sad….
He is rejecting the kids and it must hurt youre children too. And a nybody that hurts thekids, well that surely must make you want to leave him. All they getting is rejection and pain too. Just think of youre children and leave.
Sounds like you know what you need to do, just holding on to something that doesn’t seem to be going to change. Doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. Be with someone who treats you like they actually like you.
The doubts already there. Sounds like he’s not right for you if he’s causing you all this stress. You already sound unhappy.
Dump him… he is no good for you… shows no respect and obviously didn’t want to be a family man. You can find someone better. Run girl, run!
Then don’t. It won’t get better. YOU must move on with your life and let him get on with his fishing.
Sounds to me like all he wants is a built in babysitter. If this has been going on for 7 years and he hasn’t changed then maybe you are the one that needs to change. Unless you want your child to think this is what marriage is all about.
He’s treated you like this for 7 years, he hasn’t changed. He’s not. Do you want to live your life like this. My opinion, time to put on your walking shoes. You can do better. There’s someone out there that’s going to jump at the chance to have a woman like you.
I can’t see anything in this relationship to keep you and your child there. I think that after 7(!) years you would be able to see that the relationship is one-sided…his side. Your child deserves better than someone who obviously doesn’t care about making a family. I really feel sorry for his 2 kids also. He sounds like a loser all the way around.
You deserve to be treated like a princess, you deserve a man who worships the ground you walk on. You deserve a man who loves you and respects you, with every fiber of his being. Don’t settle. He has shown his true colors, he is not worthy. You said you have a child, please give that child good examples of what it’s like to see mom happy. Please leave. You already know this, the first step is always the hardest, but it will be the best step, for you and your child. Leave!
A man that’s feeling you, would have married you long before 7 years. You have to start loving yourself, then your perception of this relationship will start to change, next you’re be the one not wanting to be with him. Love yourself and your kids sister.
To be honest he is not really committed yo have a relationship with you. He is still hurting from his previous relationship (the mother is children ).
It’s about time for you to let go if him. He needs to sorted himself out. He choses you for a rebound
Its cut and dry my dear. Move on and get your kids away from him. They dont need to have someone like that as an influence. Neither do you. Be strong and move on!
Sit down have a chat with him if he cant respect you then ask him to leave you dont need that sort of role model in your childs live children also sense when people arent happy. Focus on yourself and your child you dont need a man like that
Run like hell and don’t look back. There are good decent caring men in this world and he doesn’t sound like he is one of them!
I would just get rid of him he’s horrendous
And after 7 years you have to see he brings nothing to your life ??!!
You deserve better X
Leave, actually run from that relationship.
He sounds like a typical narcissist !
He always wants to be the centre of attention and if , for example , when you told him about your divorce , he felt like you were the one who was receiving all of the attention.
Does he say and do things and strangely turn the blame on you ?
Does he always vie for attention.
When and if you are sick , does he act like it doesn’t matter ? , he is the only one that should be sick , and it’s a big deal ?
Honey if he constantly disrespects you and you feel that he doesn’t want to be with you or your daughter , or he only wants to do something when it’s convenient for him , then the relationship is not worth it.
It may be hard to leave him , but believe me peace of mind is a lot better than someone who no longer cares about your feelings.
I would have left yesterday. Your behavior is giving the wrong message to the girls in your family. Those girls will pick the same kind of guy and have your life. Is that what you want?
This is exactly what he is trying to show you what the rest of your life is going to be like. When we see signs we need to take heed especially when you trying to talk to him and nothing changes. At the end of the day you have your child that you have to set an example for and that who your priorities is with. There is no way love hurts like that. You can do bad all by yourself you dnt need someone else to do that with(by Tina Turner) would say. Two people build up not pull down.
As the saying goes, unless he’s wearing a diaper, you can’t change him. You’re right to ask yourself if this is how you want to spend the rest of your life. Get all while you’re young enough to start over.
If his not happy being in the relationship. He will never be happy in the relationship. He probably seeing someone else. And when he has leave the other woman it makes him mad. So take it out on you. So leave him.
“Finance 7 years”? That is a long time to be engaged. That is your first sign. No concern for spending time with family? There is another flag. Leave me the hell alone so I can fish? You have bright red flags all around you. Ask yourself this. Do you want your kids to be with someone like this? Staying is teaching them it’s ok to be treated with disrespect. It’s ok to settle for mental abuse. That is what the life your are living is and they are seeing it. They will find a partner like this maybe worse. Up to you to teach them that this is not good behavior and no one should live a life like this. It’s your choice to stay. Make a move if you want to be happy. Life is short.
Get out Now!! They always say they are going to change and never do. It takes to much work for these men to change so if you are suffering already you need to find someone with the same goals and family values you have.
Leave! Stay in a shelter if you have to or with a friend! Start over. Respect yourself! You can do. This!
Your FB friends support you. I stayed 9 years. I regreted it. I finall forgave him and myself.
Life is too short to go through that! I get your gut is saying run! RUN!!! It may be hard but you already know the answer!
Leave. If he cared enough he would change. My husband dealt with alot after the death of our son. I told him that he had changed not in a good way. So he took a step back and looked at his actions, and realized who he had become. So he turned A new leaf. A real man will do anything for those he loves.
Time to jump ship and swim for shore to someone who cares and wants involved in your life
Run dear, you and your daughter deserve a better. It’s not easy being on your own, but you will be fine.
Let it go. Don’t sacrifice your time or your childrens for someone who clearly doesn’t respect you.
Well it makes no sense that you live like this and subject your child to this ! It sounds as though you have a problem with self esteem and think you should be treated this way. You need to leave and seek Christian counseling.
Run, run as fast as you. Before it’s too late. Sounds like you’ve wasted a few yrs trying to change him… good luck
Do you want your daughter to believe this is the way a man should treat a woman. Don’t know you but I’m sure you’re worth more than this