Oh for Pete’s sakes you have been with this man for 7 years and if he hasn’t changed he’s not going to change. Now do you want to spend another 7 years with him living the same life then stay… Or pack your bags and take your baby and get out of there and make a better life for you both, with someone who will love you and appreciate you and that baby. There is no one on here that your going to listen to but yourself. Sorry if I sound so harsh but you need to put your big girl panties on and figure out what you want for you and your baby.
2 Likes
Leave. Don’t raise your child in that atmosphere
1 Like
He’s made you wait 7 years to be married. He doesn’t want to act like a family. Leave. Its bot worth it.
You already wasted 7 years. Get out before getting older for your sake and your child.
I feel like if you are even questioning it then you already know you don’t want to spend the rest of your life with this person
Maybe you should think about what’s best for your daughter if you divorced your husband you know to end a relationship
Get out fast before you get pregnant and are stuck with him for the next 18 yrs.
1 Like
Feed him lots of small snacks. Like when you first get home, when he walks in the door, before you go somewhere. Like a few crackers and cheese and half an apple cut up. Eat first when you go out. Some people don’t feed themselves and get cranky.
Sorry but rude is not the word i would use to describe him. If you view what you related as being rude you are in denial.
You got to the main point with your very last sentence! Re-read it, then actually do something about it! Your not happy now, you won’t be in the future. A tiger doesn’t change his stripes, what you see now is what you get. Take it or leave it.
Get out now. He’ll never change I can promise you that. I dealt with it for 25 years and finally left.
Why are you still with this man? Ain’t your ex even better?
Please don’t go from one bad and failed relationship to another. LEAVE for goodness sake!!!
You absolutely do not want to spend the rest of your life like that. Dont let anyone treat you bad and dont teach your children that it’s ok by staying and letting them live that example. Just an opinion
Leave him! You dont want to put yourself or your child through that any longer. You are worth more than that mama
You ALREADY know that you do not want to spend the rest of your life like that. Deep down inside, you know he won’t change… And yet you hold out hope that he will. You are looking for others to reaffirm what you already feel and no is the answer…… It’s time to stop deliberating, and to start planning. Girl, you need to get out of there and the sooner the better.
Won’t change and just cut it off now, if he didn’t change when he said he isn’t going to know.
Hell you just got out of apparently mr. Wrong, now you with another mr. Wrong. You need to ask your self. Why i keep picking mr. Wrong. If you all has nothing in common. Why be with some one who does not enjoy doing anything with you. Have you got in the habit of attracting toxic men? Take some self esteem classes and learn your worth. Every one deserves to be happy.
Ask your self just what he is contributing to,your happiness? Then ask yourself why you are willing to let your self be treated like that.? When pack your stuff and get the hell out of there and don’t look back!
I hope you think long and hard before ever marrying him. Your getting out of a bad relationship just to start another! Don’t do it
Leave and be independent on your own . You shouldn’t have to put up with that treatment. Apparently he only cares about his needs and wants . Good luck
Time to move on. A leopard doesn’t change its spots and neither will he. You deserve better.
Do you want so.eo e to treat your daughter like that? If the as answer is no then move on without him.
1 Like
Why do you even have to ask? If you don’t like it now, you are going to hate yourself for staying with the jerk. You deserve better, go get it! Don’t settle for a life where you are not appreciated and valued.
You want to MARRY this narcissist? Hasn’t your 7 years been miserable? Do you want to make your childs life miserable?? Put your child FIRST!
1 Like
I think you have answered your own question. If you dont think you want to then don’t. You have not married so just walk away. If he doesnt make you happy now, he never will! Dont invest more time in a relationship that is not making you happy!
1 Like
Also sweet girl that isnt just rude, its abusive for him to call you names. Please get out of there.
1 Like
I have one bit of advice for you RUN don’t walk out of these relationships before you lose what left of your self-esteem.
1 Like
I recently read that everything comes down to “I am willing” or “I am NOT willing” and now everything goes through the “willingness” filter.
Why do you stay?
You are his whipping post. Take the kids and run as fast as you can. NOW!
1 Like
If you’re asking the question, you should already know the answer.
Period and done!
1 Like
I think you just answered you own question, if I were you get out while you can, but I’m also going to say this, you just got out of one frying pan and you’ve been in another frying pan, which you shouldn’t have, go back to your first Love, if you knew Jesus Christ, He will satisfy your ever needs and He won’t abuse you either.
It’s very difficult but you have to go through because of your children are
I had the same issue and she’s gone!
Run like hell! He is very unlikely to change.
You already answered your question. You if you have to ask why you should stay then you know the relationship is over with. Relationships and even marriages succeed when they don’t feel like a job. Feelings are natural. Your bf wants out without actually being the one to verbally say it. But he is saying it with his actions towards you. Ever heard the saying “actions speak louder than words”? Well his are speaking volumes. A man will change when he wants to change. No one can make him change he has to WANT to CHANGE! There is someone out there that will love you the right way. I just don’t think it is the man you are with now.
Is there any kind of addiction? Drugs or alcohol?? Or maybe Bipolar? My husband was an alcoholic and it was very difficult to get him to do family things. All he would do is work, eat and sleep. Sometimes go fishing. He didn’t talk right to me and it almost killed our marriage. He quit many years ago and he is a totally different person. For the better. Now my daughter is engaged to a guy who is bipolar and he speaks awful to her.
you have answered your own question… Can you make a list that long of things just important as these in his favor?
1 Like
DUMP HIM simple as that.its not about him no more its how you are letting him burn you out.keep life simple move on.
1 Like
love, hapiness and respect… if none of these are present, then it’s time to pack things up and wait for the next train…
Go get a life of your own! YOU are teaching THE children that it’s alright to be treated this way. AND IT’S NOT!
Get out when you can it will only get worse been there done that I stayed for the wrong reasons 19 wasted years only good thing out of our relationship is I have the best daughter in the world good luck
Start to look at yourself and why you need this. It’s is natural because you grew up with it. It’s not easy to treat yourself kindly when someone around you is not.
Go now because it sounds like he’s a real jerk doesn’t wanna have anything to do with you anyways find somebody who wants to be with you and your kids
Leave. Like yesterday. Every minute waiting for him to not be the db he is, is a minute wasted on having the life you really want.
2 Likes
Why do you put up with him walk away he isnt going to change
It’s not really rudeness it’s just apathy.
You have extended your courtship beyond the natural limit. Four years is the limit. Once you go beyond that you move into a state of callous indifference. You may have to restart or rekindle or do something extreme. Just stop and think about the four year schedule. High School college presidential term etc The time limit is expired
I think you already know the answer to your question with your last sentence. If you have to keep calling him out or reminding him that he said he’d change, he’s not going to change.
It isn’t going to change,take your child and start a new happy life
Get rid of him. I mean, I didn’t make it past the, my boyfriend is rude part…don’t need to. Life is too short to deal with assholes or unneeded crap…get rid of it.
Thats your insticts telling you that theres something wrong with your relationship.Ask yourself if you can build a future with someone who doesnt respect you or your opinion.He sounds like a very selfish person.Make a list on one side of a page and write what you like about the guy.on the oppersite side write the things that you dont like about him .The things that annoy /irratate you about him.weigh the difference and evaluate wheather the relashionship is worth persueing.Are you prepared to live with someone who doesnt even want to spend time with his children and you as a family?
This is wort thinking abou.
Sounds like the problem is on YOU attracting the same pattern and finding excuses for abuse. Too sad knowing that you have kids because they will be damaged for life as I did. It’s sad seeing what lots of people do just to tell and show, they " are not alone "
It’s called being a Narcissist… and he was probably throwing red flags from the beginning and you ignored them. It’s pretty obvious what you should do.
Leave he is not going to change take care of yourself and your child is the property you live in yours then change the locks put his stuff in bags and tell him your done
It sounds like you already know what you need to do. Love yourself enough to do it.
People treat you that way as you accept it.think about your children put them first.Sorry but you are allowing this to happen. Get out.
If he hasn’t changed in 7 years HE’S NOT going to change! Wake up get out while you still can. You’re NOT married with kids between y’all! GO 
You dont want to stay with that, better to be alone and take care of your kid then be with an ass that doesnt want to be around.
Who needs a man when they treat you like that? Get out, and be happy. The right man will come into you and your daughter’s life when you’ve got your life in order.
Why would you want to. You are the only one who can make this decision. Just remember you are setting an example for your daughter.
One question. Why the hell are you still with him? It’s all about him . Get out of this toxic relationship
Leave, no question, I cannot understand women who even think about staying in that sort of relationship. You can go it alone, stop doubting yourself. Go pack your bags now.
Why are you still with him. I would rather be alone, then be unhappy…
As a woman who has been cheated on that’s a lot of tale tale signs. Another is you have been fiancee for years. Be a good example for your daughter. Move on
1 Like
If you don’t jump him now you’ll be sorry for the rest of your life think of your children first I’m someone that knows
1 Like
He won’t change so stop wasting your time. He’ll say he will but it will only be for a very short time and back to the same. Leave now!
1 Like
You’re probably wondering ‘should I try harder or leave’? I would suggest you leave. Quality time is important to you, it’s your love language. Quietly make your plans to exit and do it
1 Like
He will not change unless he greatly wants to change. Question is: can or want to put up with him. I would not
1 Like
Run, don’t walk, out the front door, and never look back.He is nothing but a waste of time.
1 Like
If you are asking this question you already know the answer. Set up a bank account and save like crazy. Do you have a very trusted friend!? If so Ask them if you can store some things at theirs. Hit the flea markets and thrift stores. Secret what you can from your house without his getting wise to it. Have an apartment set up for you to move into and just leave. It won’t be easy but you deserve to be happy. If there is an organisation or a church /charity approach them as well. I wish for you a happier life. Much luck.
1 Like
My first thought was" why is he your boyfriend? " Sounds as if he gets to make all the rules and everyone else is supposed to jump.
1 Like
Why would you want to ? Leave now. Life is to short not to be happy and you do not sound very happy !
1 Like
Make yourself happy. You are the one who can. Put yourself and your child first.
1 Like
Get out while you still can or you’ll be paying for a second divorce
Sounds like he wants a glorified babysitter
Don’t you won’t be happy when someone continues to bring you down. Find someone who lifts you up.
He’s never going to change. Raise your stands. Leave him. You deserve better than that. If he is only going to be better when he thinks you are leaving, then just goes back to being rude… nope, it will never get better, only worse.
Save yourself! And your daughter as well. Move on…quickly and do nor look back! Ever.
Time to hit the road running! Why would you even want to expose your kids to that mentality! He’s not going to change. He sounds selfish & not family oriented!!
Seven years??! Time to cut him loose, before you lose anymore years missing the one who would treat you with the love and respect that you deserve.
Walk out now and don’t look back been there done that
1 Like
Marriage will not work. You’re financially secure coz you working. marrying a person with that type of personality will end up disaster esp. for your children. Take care of your children for they’re your future.
You shouldn’t. Never settle for anything less than what you want.
So leave, don’t waste any more time… He’s not worth it.
Dump this guy. It is obvious he doesn’t care and getting married to him will only get worse not better.
Like Dr Phil says— Do you want the next 7 years to be like the last 7? If not, get out or it will be 14.
1 Like
Find a respectful man you deserve.
5 Likes
what are you hanging onto this guy for? does not sound like he cares about you at all. get out before you get really stuck some how.
Run the other way, it will never change. Unless it gets worse.
You answered your own question. “I don’t want to spend the rest of my life with someone like that”. You can’t change a leopard’s spot. So cut it off and open the door for better opportunities.
Time to tske a hard look at your relationship. If he doesn’t want to do family things now, he won’t while your married. Yes 7 years is a long time but this is how life will be once married, if you want family time and he doesn’t provide that, might not be the best decision.
Why are you still with him and why would you even consider marriage
He will never change. It’s time for you to move on.
How many times do you allow your children to see another man disrespect you. Seven years…you both are teaching them , one way or another what they see.
Why are you still with him ???.you’d be happier on your own …he’s not going to change so just leave now
Record him on the way he acts so when you call him out on something you have proof of the way he’s acting and he can’t deny it and if that don’t work then you know what you need to do if you don’t want to live your life like that
Get out there are plenty of guys out there that will love you and be a partner for you and your child.
Get out while you still have sanity he has had 7 yrs what more do you need
To begin, you will never ever change who and what and how he acts. I suggest that you either dump him now before you marry him. You are better off alone with your kids then make an attempt to have him change. If he didn’t change during his first marriage he isn’t changing for you or anyone else. He sounds self centered and only cares about himself and his needs not your needs.
1 Like
That is not a man. Dump whatever that is and move forward. Do not look back. Oh, and read the book “Codependent No More,”.
Why ask people what you already know??? Either leave or stay but whatever you do is between the two of you not the world…geeeeez
1 Like
You really going to put up with this. I’d be done with him, life’s to short.