My boyfriend is using and I don't want to fall back into that lifestyle again: Advice?

He’s not a good father or role model for your children, that doesn’t mean he doesn’t love them. He needs rehab and get himself together for y’all. You know the old saying you can’t pour from an empty cup. He has to get himself together or you should move on and focus on the kids.

1 Like

You and your children come first. If he doesn’t quit, you have to let go. Don’t enable, I did for over 30 years. Please don’t waste yours or your children’s lives. I’m just now 3 1/2 years out of that marriage, helping my children have a healthier life & myself a better life also. Please, don’t waste your children’s lives. I lost a child, she will never forgive me, and I do not blame her. Be strong now, have a good life

2 Likes

Congrats on your sobriety! But leave… or he will drag you back in with him. And if you have proof he is on drugs I wouldnt let him see the kids until he is sober. He can take you to court. Addicts are unpredictable, regardless if his mother is there or not ur kids dont need to see that.

6 Likes

You have to move on and let him catch up when he is ready. The real him is inside screaming for you to get away so you don’t get dragged down

1 Like

Space yourself. You dont necessarily have to “move on”, but you definitely need to distance yourself and your girls until he gets clean. He might be a good dad but youre enabling him lettjng him be around the girls while using…

3 Likes

This will likely come out the wrong way.
But if those girls are important to you move on. He sounds like someone who will always be an addict don’t allow him to hold you back or stop you from being a mother.
Choose them over your feelings for him.
You can do this even if it hurts right now know moving on will bring you and your girls happiness it’ll bring growth. You three deserve that you can’t fix him sweets he has to choose his girls over drugs and if he can’t take full custody because they don’t deserve a dad under the influence it’s not safe for them.

6 Likes

He needs to get clean & you and your kids don’t need to be around it; no matter how “great” of a father he is. Being an addict is not conducive to being a father. He needs to get his life straight and you need to worry about you and your girls. Bottom line.

1 Like

Move on! Stay strong in your sobriety. If he is choosing that life style over his family his decision and let him live it. In my opinion wether he is a good dad or not he shouldn’t be around your babies. They don’t need to see him high or the after effects of his use. He needs to ditch the drugs or risk not being apart of his childrens lives.

9 Likes

People don’t get clean for their partners or their children. They only get clean for themselves. You have to take care of your children. You have to put your children above him. Because he is not putting his children above himself. This is a pivotal point in your life. Do not let his drug abuse keep you from being the mother your children need.

4 Likes

Get the help you need for yourself & kids. Move on to the next step in your life. There is lots of support groups out there.

Just to make this clear I know many of the ladies on this thread that are in recovery have sponsors BUT I will gladly talk to you if your having a hard time. I’d rather be up at odd ball times than to have you throw your hard work down the drain. Message me before using I promise you we can find a better solution than drugs and alcohol. You deserve better ladies!

1 Like

Addiction is a disease and the only goal is the next fix until he gets help. I’m sorry but you and the girls are not a priority at the moment. Focus on yourself and the children. Go to alonon and protect your family.

I would tell him he obviously cant get clean on his own terms so if he wants to have a family he needs to go to rehab followed by Support group meetings. Otherwise throw in the towel. If you stay A. Youll get sucked back into it or B. spend your life trying to save someone who doesnt want to be saved.

1 Like

I had to do the same my husband choose to use over us… Ultimately it killed him… Time to be strong and take care of your babys… He will either wake up and change or never wake up… Its his choice…

3 Likes

Get out of that toxic relationship, if not for yourself then for your children.

Hes not a good father if hes using you have to leave him for your sake and your daughter’s

Move on for your kids sake drugs always lead to problems

Forget him. Focus on your sobriety and your STABILITY for your kids. Idk what your doc is but if your a addict you know your triggers. A using partner WILL result in your relapse. Hes a adult. Forget him. He made a choice now stick w urs. If he is using drugs at home i wouldnt let the kids there either if you know he has drugs there

You have to show tough love an addict won’t get help unless they hit rock bottom you can’t enable them just pray for them and encourage them when they finally want to change

Move on!! Your children deserve a better life!!

2 Likes

I would seek supervised visit too be honest and request that the court make him seek substance abuse treatment

4 Likes

Well you already know for you and your children’s sake move on cause he doesn’t want too change god bless you for improving youeself

You can’t help anyone they haft to do it themselves all you can do it pray for them

Your kids come first…
End of story.

Get into a support group system now and a good sponsor asap!

You know what you have to do

He is using drugs right get rid of him

You gotta cut ties altogether including his ties with the kids. Addicts honestly have to hit their rock bottom and want to get better in order to do it. It’s a very selfish disease and I am so sorry you are going through this which I just reread so you know from experience :confused:

1 Like

“He chose drugs” “he’s a great father” what’s wrong here? You can’t do both.

1 Like

Keep RUNNING and dont look back. Get a support group and find your village. Those drugs will take you down and take your babies straight out of your life, or even you out of theirs. Please believe that drugs dont give a shit and it will burn it all down with no mercy.

I pray its not heroine but if it is. He dug his grave already girl just move on

Well if he doesn’t want to stay clean leave him

What’s more important? A man who chooses drugs over his family? Or the safety of your kids and yourself?

2 Likes

Ok I’m gonna be a harsh bitch cause you really need reality!.. your children need you ! I honestly wouldn’t want my babies around him or his issues because they are young and innocent and dont need around that mess. Not that I’d want to keep my babies from a parent. But you are there and need to protect them. You may love him but you can love him from afar .you can not fix him or his demons you need to work on keep your head right.

You already know, what you have to do.

Please don’t break your children’s hearts chasing after him. CHOOSE YOUR CHILDREN AND YOURSELF. Please!

1 Like

“Hello, Whole Man Disposal Service? Do you do same day pickups?”