This is how I look at it. My husband said I forced him to marry me… I did lol. But if something was to happen to you … Like bad … in the hospital. Since your not married… Who would have the decision on what to do!!! That my Friend is one of the reasons I got married. I don’t want my mom to have any say so of me. I’d rather have the person I’ve been with for now 7 years but we just got married last year . We have 1 child together.
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If you stay with this guy you will still be in the same place 10 years from now. Get a job make it look like you don’t need him. You’ll be amazed at how fast he changes his mind. As long as he feels like he is supporting you regardless of how much you do he thinks you won’t be going anywhere so it’s his word and his decisions. Good luck and show him you can make it without him.
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What does he have to worry about with the house or his paycheck??? If he loves you and he marrys you it’s till death do you part right? Sounds to me like he doesn’t feel the relationship will last… and that would be unsettling to me .
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The bottom line is he doesn’t want to marry you. Either accept that or leave.
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I mean, he isn’t wrong. People get burned by the people they love the most all of the time. If he is taking care of her and the kids and they are happy, that is a good thing. I don’t think this is based on him not loving her and maybe they can do a little ceremony or something without all of the paper work and just wear rings. Marriage that ends in divorce often has a harder impact on the men that the women financially.
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I didn’t wanna get married after my last divorce. But after my girlfriend went on vacation and I was alone I realized I was “happy” which is hard. Makes us guys vulnerable. Needless to say after wards I asked her father for permission and saved and paid a custom one of a kind metorite engagement to ring.
Just understand our perspective In a court setting 95% of the time guys lose. My suggestion as a guy is either give him the space so he can come to the realization he’s happy. Or file a prenup. Or just propose to him yourself 
or keep things as is or move on.
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If you love the bloke, why do you need a piece of paper and government involvement to prove it?
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Get a job, start saving some money up that way IF something happens you aren’t without means to take care of yourself and your children.
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And he should be !!are you religious… because religion needs you to get married and devorced or is that the Government ?? Lol
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Marriage is a trap for men. He realizes that he shouldn’t be held accountable for you for your life
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You’ve always wanted to be married? He knew that when you met? Then why did you divorce?
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Maybe a prenuptial agreement? Otherwise, it really does sound like he’s not okay with marriage with you. There might also be some resentment from him paying for everything that he doesn’t want to bring up or even feels guilty for feeling that way.
You are the change… if he does not want to get married now he most likely won’t want to get married. But if you do make the change, if he loves you enough he will marry you. If not in your heart you have to do what is good for you. No one can make you happy but yourself. End of story
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I’m going through a divorce right now and it is such a pain in the ass. Would I do it again? No. Sometimes it’s more expensive to be legally married (health insurance, taxes etc). So not everyone wants the govt in their relationship. On that same note though, maybe you can bring up the positives of marriage. You say you’re happy, you say you’re not getting any younger etc so if he’s a great partner, provider and father, would you leave him if he doesn’t marry you? Sounds as if things are solid otherwise. But your feelings are valid and you should bring them up but in a way that would help him see the positives since he fears the negatives.
It bothers me that you said he spoils you with necessities. That’s not my idea of being spoiled
How does he treat your other children? Did you get a house & half a check from your first relationship? What about his child with you? If your relationship doesn’t work out, will he support his child? The best thing a man can do for his children is love their mother.
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To be honest if that’s how he feels about marriage then that’s fine, he’s allowed his opinion and you need to respect that. if you knew that going into the relationship and were okay with it then you can’t just change your mind
As you said you have a child together and you have two kids from a previous marriage, it’s possible that his concern is his own child with you might get less inheritance from his properties. Why don’t you propose a pre-marriage agreement that your children from the previous marriage will not benefit from the property he owned before your marriage. However, it is understood that whatever both of you earn and own after your wedding is the conjugal property, and have to agree on what your other two children are entitled to in inheritance. A lawyer will be of great help how to determine and solve the problem. If your partner is still not interested in this solution, it’s time to be on your own before it’s too late to catch the last train trip.
Why wouldn’t this be a conversation you two had at the beginning of the relationship??
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I see so many comments on number one, there already is a child or children, with no contracts in place and number two let us sigh a prenup and all will be sorted out. Number one what happens to your child or children if you break up? hell why have you even considered having a child with someone who will not marry you. ( or for the sake of those who do not believe in marriage sign a contract clarifying these issues) Gees, get married first before the child. Number two, in whose name is your house? What stops him from throwing you out and then claiming that you are unfit to take care of his kid because you do not own a home and have no proof of the time you spent raising his child and loosing income while doing so. These men have it so easy. They already have the kids, they have the houses, they have the person to share household expenses with them and help them pay their debts and take care of their kids for free. So why should they commit ? I hope that all of you ladies are keeping documentation to say what you have contributed towards the relationship, even if it is being a stay at home Mom. If you were not there who would look after his kid? What does daycare cost? No one says get married but get financially savvy. Read up on your rights and keep records of what you contrbute. You could find yourself without a home an income and a child or with a child and no support and a lot of lost income. Does he have a life insurance policy and are you the beneficiary ? If something happens to him tomorrow who gets to carry out his last wishes, who gets his assets and who gets a say over his kids? How much fun will it be to have in laws suing you for custody of your kids ? You and He may not believe in marriage and that is fine but there is more to a rekationship than sharing a kid.
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Seems like he’s half in it. Marriage is just a piece of paper means didly to me. Dunno about where you live but where I am after 2 years living together its defacto and might as well be married
If he’s already planning for your divorce when you’re not even married, he’s not mature enough to be in a relationship, and he certainly shouldn’t be creating children. Cut your losses now. You are never too old to start fresh. Raise your children, and after they’ve graduated and moved out on their own, try again for a healthier relationship. Listen to Dr. Laura; she’s a professional, and she gives great relationship advice.
I mean you don’t have to be legally married to have a marriage/long term committed relationship. And obviously you don’t want marriage for religious reasons since you already have a kid together.
You can also have a wedding but not file a marriage certificate if the vows/ceremony is important to you.
He really sounds like he has commitment issues. He makes it sound like you’re not gonna last. A lot of people will tell you marriage is just a piece of paper, but it’s more than that, that’s why they refuse to commit to it. If you want that more, you find that more even if it means starting over. Though I don’t see how offering a prenuptial agreement can hurt a compromise between you two. I’m frustrated he can go as far as having a child with you and lacks interest in furthering that commitment to you…because you deserve nothing less than what’s going to make you happy. I don’t see the big deal about it, really.
My husband married me within 6 months of knowing me. When it’s right, it’s right, and when you truly love someone nothing else matters.
Sending you positive vibes 
You do realize you are common law married. If you split up ( god forbid ) but if that happens it is treated as an actual marriage so all the things that happen in a divorce are what can happen. And if thats his main reason for not getting married that is what a prenup is for. Set things up that benefit you both and your children and sign it
Looks like he doesn’t want to marry you. He made his choice. He doesn’t want you to end up with the house. He’s pretty much telling you that you and the kids can live on the street befor you get the house…big red flag. Run run run. Then he may realize what he’s lost and change his mind about making you his wife befor someone else does…
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If his concern is losing money, (the house, etc) in the event of a divorce, would you be willing to sign a prenup? I get his apprehension towards marriage because of the divorce rate, and yeah, in alot of states ex husbands are basically required to pay an allowance to their ex wives. Pretty messed up imo. Personally, I think being married just involves signing a piece of paper. If he treats you and your kids well, takes care of you, and you love him… I don’t see why people feel that not getting married invalidates their relationship. You can build a family and life together without those labels. Just sayin
You both can easily sign a prenup if marriage is important to you and assets are important to him. He just doesn’t want to be married to you and is making whatever excuses he can so he doesn’t have to tell it to you straight.
If marriage was something you both went into the relationship agreeing on, and now he has changed his mind and you will not budge, it’s time to move on, no matter how healthy the relationship is. You won’t be happy at the end of the day sacrificing your wants for his, and chances are he’ll leave you for someone “better” anyway and you’ll see their wedding after a few years. Be with someone who wants the same life you do. It’s worth it.
He has a kid with you bc you already had kids and can keep his kid entertained while he is at work while you be the house manager. Sounds like you’re not a partner. You’re an assistant to him that hands you bonuses on anniversaries.
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If he’s worried about money remind him of tax breaks for married couples, three kids to claim on top of housing tax breaks. You are both leaving money on table. 
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If you want marriage and he doesn’t there will always be that animosity. So either accept he doesn’t or find someone else.
Maybe he is really afraid that your last marriage didn’t work and he doesn’t want to be the second husband. Did u brag what u did to your xhusband that he fears you and what you would do? I don’t get why marriage would be enough reason to leave if he won’t. If your relationship is great leave it that way. Don’t force someone who doesn’t want to marry you. Why do people think they have to be married. Are you trying to impress someone else or cause someone else to be jealous and he can see this over the actual reason people marry. Take a deep look on why you need to be married.
He will be surprised to know that after 4 years you are already entitled to half of the house
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If it’s what you want and it’s non negotiable, tell him. I spent 14 years waiting and finally gave up. You aren’t getting younger and you only get so much time.
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He should want you to have the stability of Marriage. It doesn’t seem as though you are both on the same page. Think about the reasons he won’t marry you and they are all about divorce. He is already thinking it won’t last. Not a good mind set when thinking about marriage. This is a tough spot, think long and hard about his reasons. Good luck.
Not everyone is into marriage, you yourself said you have children from a previous marriage so you’ve been there done that and it didn’t work out, he prob has fears about that too, it’s kind of understandable from his point and you don’t HAVE to be married to enjoy a lovely relationship and life together, again you said yourself you’ve been there done that, it stood out weird and doesn’t make sence u bring up he buys you things n spoils u and gets u jewellery etc etc sounds like you just want a big me me me spoiling day and not entirely caring about his feelings ur jst angry and contemplating wether you should stay or not because you won’t get what u want when you want it that’s how the whole post comes across… It’s meant to be about both your feelings… Not just you… Where’s the compromise and compassion towards each others thoughts on it all ? Seems both you guys have it set how you want it but u said he does say he’s open to stuff maybe it’s jst how your coming across and the I want and I want now and I want this type feels the post gives out…
Marriage doesn’t mean anything except the fact when you divorce y’all split everything down the middle. To me it’s not worth it. If you haven’t known the person and who they truly are for longer than 8 or 9 years don’t do it. You still don’t know everything about a person in 5 years of being with them. I know that for a fact unless you have known every aspect of their life their whole life. I don’t blame him. He’s looking out for his future.
Marriage is about legality. What if one is sick, youre not married then you won’t have any legal right to make desicions for each other’s care. Then worst if one dies then the other won’t get anything since youre not legal. In example, you have a house and both chipped in in paying mortgage but only one is on papers, if that one dies the other won’t have rights to claim the house as theirs since legally you’re not married and it’s not a conjugal property. You won’t get to claim his pension too in the future. Not marrying the person your partner in life is very selfish. You are depriving your partner of any legal claims to your hard earned money and properties if you die. How can you call someone your partner and treat them otherwise?
He told you straight out how he feels about marriage! If you stay with him and the relationship fails , you’ll have no one to blame but yourself! If he marries you , but doesn’t really want to or does it for the wrong reason, it will fail! If you stay and he won’t marry you, it will fail because you won’t have what you want! Who will suffer, the kids! I just don’t understand people sometimes! If you basically have to beg someone for something , who the hell would want it! If it was me, I’d have too much self-respect! If a guy felt as his spouse and partner in life, that raises his child and takes care of him and his home ,that thinks according to the law I didn’t have a right to share his home and pay like most of our parents and grandparents did did in past generations-BYE, hire a maid!
I don’t know where you live but if you live in a common law state you will be entitled to (p)alimony and child support. Marriage license doesn’t matter. After all, you ARE working to raise his kid and keep the home (I assume) so you should continue to get support if the relationship ends.
He doesn’t want to be robbed in a potential divorce. Why don’t you look up marriage ceremonies that don’t involve the government and the paperwork?
If marriage is very important to you and not to him, this isn’t likely to change. Moving on might be best for you both. You already have a child together, you will be locked together even more the longer you stay together. Split while you are still amiable to one another, and each of you can find what makes you happy.
If you’re wanting marriage and he isn’t, then maybe it’s time to end things. You’ll live a life of regret and resentment for him unfulfilling that need. If he was THAT pro marriage but only worried about his assets he could have simply asked for a pre-nup before marriage and “protected” himself. In this instance I don’t see that being the case, it sounds like he’s just using it as an excuse
Marriage is a huge commitment and some people aren’t ready until later on or they just don’t feel comfortable with it. Honestly, if he’s treated you right so far and has been supporting you, I don’t think there is much to worry about. He may just not be ready for that yet. I wouldn’t push it cause it’s obviously something he stresses about a lot. Give him time and he may change his mind someday.
Don’t let him determine your future! You are very clear what you want!
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He won’t marry you because he doesn’t want to share money?
Woman. Get up, get a job, get paid more than him then see his selfish attitude change.
He doesn’t want to share with the woman he chose to have a child with?
Well well I think you don’t have to get married to be committed to somebody… I really don’t like his reasoning for not wanting to get married. Because he doesn’t wanting crew your debts or give up half of his money. Even though y’all share a child together so you would think you would want you to be taken care of. But if those are as worries I guess I question if he really sees it as something that’s long-term.
You don’t want to leave but he doesn’t want to get married. He seems to not be budging and if you want to get married, you would have to leave. Or why can’t he have a prenup written to ensure he gets his things if anything shall go south?
We’ve been common law for 25 years, but it’s up to you.
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In Australia it makes no different if married or defacto when leaving a relationship. Infact my ex of 22 years and i are still working through separation due to property settlement for ten years now, we never got married, however my exs new partner was married is now divorced and all final. I remember her saying that we really needed to finalise our stuff cause she has. It was because they had no house, no superannuation, no asserts but my ex and I do. You need to have your own independence. If relationship healthy then id say that’s what matters. I never believed in marriage because I’d seen so many fail.
Would you ever consider getting a prenup? If his concerns are to do with money then surely doing that would quash is concerns. If he still doesn’t want to get married after you suggest that then I would say there is more to his reasoning.
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And who does he want to leave his $$ to if he dies, if not you?
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That’s what’s a prenup is before marriage. Any debts you currently have before marriage will still be your own individual debts after marriage. Whatever debts you get while married, is split if you was to divorce/split
Look at what you are , a kept woman , yes very blunt words but its true
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Really, you’ll leave a really good relationship because he wont sign a piece of paper well maybe he shouldn’t marry you if your that shallow.
If you’ve been together for four years you both have the same rights and obligations as a married couple should you split up in the future. My suggestion, the both of you should stop arguing and carrying on about marriage, and get on with supporting each other and the children. It can all end in the blink of an eye. Marriage is just a piece of paper, commitment does not require a certificate.
If want a ceremony, have a commitment ceramony. Everything like a marriage, just no license. You knew he didnt want marriage going in correct? If you want marriage, then walk away from this. I think a loving relationship is more important than that certificate of marriage. You can walk away from marriage just as easy as living together.
Check out your rights of a common law marriage…time varies by state. Social security also acknowledges common law marriage so you could draw from that…and when it comes to money…he will have to support his child-marriage or no marriage. Best advice always take care of yourself and your children
She tried to love him, to stand beside him through everything…but he wasn’t willing to love her the way she deserved.
She gave of herself, her time and always her heart, and all he ever made her feel like was another option in his busy schedule.
Sighing, she looked out the rain drenched window and shook her head. She knew what she had to do- not because she didn’t love him, but because she loved herself more.
Somewhere along the way of falling in love, she had lost herself and what made her happy.
Now, she was waking up to a different reality- one that screamed at her to move on, close that door and never look back.
Sadly, as she watched his number up pop up on her phone, she knew he’d never really understand why she was leaving. Pressing decline on his call, she felt the strangest feeling of relief.
No more fighting, defending herself or trying to convince him why she needed more.
She never should have to tell someone that loves her how to make her feel special…
So she decided to get back to that person that knew exactly how amazing she was: Herself.
She had pushed her self respect and pride aside for too long chasing the affection of a man that was too wrapped up in himself and his selfish needs to ever put her first.
So, she chose a new path that she should have started down a long time ago. Leaving him and finding herself.
She knew she’d never be able to truly stop loving him, but she had to finally start loving herself more.
It would hurt, she knew , as her heart would cry out for her to call him, text him…anything….But she knew it was time to let him go.
She’d been unhappy too long, so leaving him for herself was exactly where she needed to be heading.
She knew it would take time to heal and slowly let the memories fade away, but she knew she had to…
She deserved better- No, she deserved the best, and she was done allowing anyone to treat her any less.
It was time to start falling in love with being alive and herself, One beautiful moment, day and dream at a time.
She smiled broadly. “I got this,” she said proudly.
And finally, she was on her way to being free. 
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Dont try to force the matter. If its a deal breaker for you then you have a decision to make. You can suggest a prenup agreement and see what happens. For me, ive been with my bf for 9 years with no sign of marriage and im ok with that! At the end of the day, married or not, it wont change our relationship. Maybe he will change his mind but never try to change it for him. Ultimatums and guilt trips ect never work in the long run
Some of of them people in the comments are right - marriage can just be a piece of paper. But it’s a HUGE red flag to me that he “doesn’t want you to end up with his house or half his paycheck.” What the hell? That’s part of what marriage and a partnership is… trust and sharing. And if marriage is that important to you, then it should be important to him, too. Don’t let people convince you that something you care about (marriage) is pointless. I would dump him. Good luck, honey.
You could have a purely religious marriage or could get a lawyer and look into prenups that would be able to protect you both.
But you also knew the possibility of him not wanting to be married ? And how he felt I’m assuming ? Sounds to me he’s just scared of it not working and ending in divorce. Regardless there’s ways to compromise around to what ever his excuse may be
Get a prenup! It takes the emotional turmoil out of marriage and forms it into a logically outlined document to prove you’re not out to get each other. Or just have a wedding and don’t sign the documents! Marriage is what you two make of it.
If he decide to leave you will get nothing for the child you have together you need to leave while you are ahead
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Do you really need a marriage to solidify your relationship.? Trust me a piece of paper really isn’t anything just giving you rights to all his stuff and vise versa. Does the tittle as his wife really that important. What do you truly get from it if you force it on him. He just doesn’t want marriage.
I had the same experience, we were so good together but I wanted marriage, he didn’t, I finally broke up with him. It hurt so bad, I met someone right after and he wanted to get married, so 20 yrs later we are still together. I still have never got over the man I lived with, as the years passed I realized that being married really doesn’t change how much you love someone. Be happy with the one your with. Ask yourself what would be different if you were married , does that mean he would love you more?
He is not being open minded about marriage unless he is willing to consider it. The not being bound by debt is just an excuse. And not wanting you to get half of his property and income? He is putting a price tag on the relationship. I’m sorry but this is not a healthy relationship. It is very one sided. All in his favor. He’s had 4 years of your time. You need to decide how much longer you are willing to sacrifice your happiness.
Marriage is just a piece of paper! Don’t let it get in the way if you are happy. If you are happy in every other aspect of your relationship, why should it bother you. Marriage is not something to be taken lightly either, we live in a day n age where people get married just because it’s next on the to do list and not for the right reasons. Life’s too short, live in the moment. If you had written this post from the other side of this argument “my boyfriend is trying to bully me into a marriage I’m not ready for” a lot of people on here would be advising you to leave a toxic relationship. If you can live with out marriage, stay, if you can’t, then leave.
Speaking as someone who is married, if you love him don’t let something a silly as putting a ring on it get in the way of that. Being married doesn’t change much except for legal reasons. You aren’t going to love him more or less just because you are married instead of common law. This seems silly to me
Just go with the flow. My bf n I been together for 10 years we both agree we’re not getting married! He didn’t want any more kids because he have two by his ex wife. But I did! I just went with the flow after being together for 8 years we had our first and now we have two beautiful children. Guess whatever happen, happens! If your happy just go with the flow he might eventually change his mind.
I say you start paying off your debt. Debts keep mounting. No one should live this way, married or unmarried. If you entered the relationship with debt, that’s not good. What are your true motives to want to be married? Your choices are:
- to leave and work a lot and create hardship especially on children, with some lasting trauma for everyone, and drama.for all family members involved
- to stay and life goes on. and not get married and you work part time or full time to pay off your debt. Future: Married or unmarried.
- you ask your man if a Pre Nup would make him feel better…saying you and he do not share any assets or debts. You stay in debt. your. Debts keep mounting. Unhealthy for everyone.
Get a prenup, it protects both of you. Example if he ends up in the hospital with extensive medical debts and passes, they cannot claim your assets to cover it.
For all saying “marriage is just a piece of paper”, ok if you feel that way, at least cover your asses with wills and power of attorney… marriage covers that.
If marriage is important to you and you want to get married, then he’s obviously not the one for you. Usually marriage revolves around women wanting to have children and feeling the pressure of a timeline. Have the guts to leave and either find somebody else, or be happy alone. Also by you saying he never abused me or whatever, just sounds like you’re settling for him but giving up everything that you really want. One thing I’ve learned in life is that if you want something you have to go after it.
Advice: Don’t marry him. You will be miserable. Money is one of the main reasons for divorce.
I would try to find out if he is against a lifetime commitment or if it really is financial concerns. If it’s just financial, you can have a wedding and change your last name without being legally married. Maybe that would be a good compromise?
Just don’t settle. If he knew you wanted marriage early in the relationship and then claimed to “open minded” which doesn’t look like he is. You should not give him ultimatum but just tell him what you want. There is s prenup he could have you sign. As far debits combined you have a child together ?? If you want more he needs to know it and if he won’t do it you need to leave and find someone that will treat you as you deserve.
My ex spent years telling me it was just an expensive piece of paper then married the woman he cheated on me with. Turns out he just didn’t want to marry me, would have saved a lot of hassle and time if he’d just said so tbh
I suggest getting a job and having money set aside if you ever need it…being a stay at home is awesome but if he’s not willing to marry you then you are screwed when or if he decides to leave…I’m not saying he will but it’s something to think about.
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I believe if the house is his, you won’t just inherit it by marriage. As for legal advice to put his mind at ease
Think it’s unfair for him to have known you wanted to get Married from the beginning and then talk and act like he’s not interested in it. If he didn’t tell you that he wasn’t interested in marriage at the same time he should expect you to still want it with him. If you want to be married and he doesn’t after that deep talk you need to have then you need to decide if it’s a deal breaker for you. If it is then he will get with the program or he won’t and you need to find someone on the same page as you.
don’t blame him, marriage is an outdated concept. even if you sway his opinion, it’s not gonna be genuine and he will not be happy being married. if you truly want it that bad, i’d move on
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I can understand that he’s worried about the marriage not working out. I would say leave him but you’re a stay at home Mom and surviving a breakup on no salary it’s not an option. He’s got to know this is hurting you knowing he has no faith in your relationship. You deserve to be happy. All those kids to care for in your own is not easy. It looks like he’s got you right where he wants you, no way out. He ought to be ashamed
Interesting… first sounds like he is already anticipating there would be a divorce that would give you half the house and his income. So I think that is something you need to discuss, because going into a marriage where one partner is already worried about the repercussions of a divorce is not a solid relationship. If the house was purchased by him and long before you two got together and you are not paying into the mortgage or upkeep, there are legal ways he can protect his house. Last because you have a child with him, he would lose a portion of his paycheck for child and possibly spousal support even if you weren’t married because he is still responsible for his child. If you both truly love and care for each other… get some couple counseling and then maybe talk to legal counsel to discuss the house and support.
My main concern would be that both your child and you are Provided for. Do you work outside the home? If there is a big imbalance in income in his favor, then he should provide a trust fund or some such for your daughter’s needs should you two separate. And also some way of assuring you would not end up destitute. I don’t know your potential or education but if I were you I would concentrate on becoming marketable yourself.
He kind of seems like a bit selfish. Maybe he would be open to marriage with a pre nup? Just gotta ask yourself if u really think this is the guy u want to spend the rest of your life with
Is she the beneficiary on his life insurance? Is she his power of attorney? Is she on the deed of his home, or Is she named in a trust? She has no financial security. If he died tomorrow, she could be homeless and screwed. Probate is a bitch and if he has any debt, that’s where his assets will go first, Common law marriage or not. Hopefully he thought ahead to at least put something in place for his child.
If you both aren’t in the same page I would leave. Are you willing to wait all of your life for him to decide to commit? I was with someone on and off for 5 years because I thought he would change his mind about marriage . I got tired of waiting and left. I met someone years later and we both decided to get marry within a year. We both knew what we wanted. We are very happy and now a baby on the way.
You mentioned to him since the beginning that you wanted marriage. You chose to stay with him even though he’s not that committed. I’d suggest you find professional help. I wish you the best. 
Marriage is just a piece of paper. He will leave if he wants or stay if he wants. Don’t let it stress you
So you’re willing to throw out a sure thing that you already have because he may not be fully ready for that? While I understand the want to get married, I just don’t see it being a reason to to destroy what you’ve already built together. You’re definitely overthinking it.
marriage is not important you being with the one you love is it will work out and if it doesn’t you loose no more than you came in with
Prenuptial agreement can help both of you feel safe in the marriage. Also you may not know this but if he dies now without marriage, his next to kin will have to deal with everything associated with his death as you won’t be allowed to and it goes the same for you. My aunt recently lost her boyfriend of 30+ years, I assumed they were married. She couldn’t even sign for them to remove his body from her home. His grown daughter who hasn’t seen him in 10+ years had to deal with everything.
Whatever your thoughts is on marriage Your Guy is not committed or connected to being responsible to you and family a decent person would never calculate what could happen in the future it should be a Union good ,bad,or indifferent not tell you what it might possibly cost him making a real committment Go by your gut instinct Whatever it may be I have a mountain of presents now but no partner No commitment no future
Stop worrying about it and enjoy y our time as a couple. Living together is as binding legally as a marriage.
Perhaps if you stop asking or raising subject … things may happen. Go with the flow.
In my opinion marriage is a just a piece of papper and a fancy ring that in many cases make most women change for the worst.
If you want just want experience the Ceremony then just go and do promise ceremony.
Get a prenuptial agreement.
There is probably a very good reason why he feels this way it could be something he grew up with or close family have to deal with. Çomen law has very similar rights as a wife in most courts. When it comes.e to kids.
My spouse will never marry again and I’m ok with that. In his words don’t need a piece of papper stating how much I love n care for you. You will have the same me with or with out I just don’t want the same headache my last two wives give /gave me
Why do you want marriage? Bc you were told too? Bc it seems you’re being nit picky if nothing else is wrong. He supports you and treats you well. You cant say anything make him change his mind snd if this was reversed we wouldnt be telling him to convince you.
You say your relationship if extremely good not if you want marriage he doesn’t putting these many years into your future and relationship you haven’t chg’d his life toward you love is a sacrfice you have children then you 've had one with him??? My advise STOP playing life in fact it’s playing you God bless this union 
I was in a similar situation for two years so I could tell you right now nothing will change if you don’t want to waste your life leave. He’s never going to marry you he’s never going to change. You’re better off figuring out your life on your own. If he can’t figure out what he wants in his life then he doesn’t deserve you in it
Jesus, still hellbent on marriage even though your first one failed?
Most marriages fail. A lot of people dont want to get married cause it seems like a sham. You don’t need to do it to prove you love someone.
Why spend all the money and time and drama getting married, especially since he doesnt want too, just be happy you’re together