So I’m in a relationship at the moment and everything has been going fine the problem I have is myself and 2 year old are supposed to move to another city with this man. This morning I decided to test him (I know dumb move) and ask for his snapchat password after a whole day of him saying no to my request and pretty much arguing aswell as him calling me insecure he finally said the reason he refused to give it was because he was on the phone lastnight to his ex and that she called him crying because her boyfriend had cheated ect. His ex was with him through alot of hard times and he promises he was just being a friend but it’s the fact he lied and argued about it all day just doesn’t sit right with me. End of story I told him this type of relationship wasn’t for me am I over reacting?
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My boyfriend lied to me about talking to his ex: Am I overreacting?
If he lied then what else has he lied about and what is he hiding is more the question as why was their a need to lie regardless…
Contrary to popular belief…you can actually be friends with your ex and it be innocent.￼
The fact you even felt the need to ask him for his password means you are not ready to move with this guy. Him saying no makes the whole thing look shady. ￼
Nope. Don’t move with him.
If he wasnt doing anything bad then he shouldnt have lied about it so. Hes hella suspicious.
If he wasn’t doing anything wrong then why did he lie about it?
Those who lie generally do it to cover up something they have done and they will say they didn’t want to hurt you… Lol
Id say back
Either U thought of me and didn’t care
Or you didnt think of me at all… Which one is worse U tell me
Sounds like your both toxic. You don’t need anyones password and he shouldn’t have lied.
Oh hell no! Stay put, let him move so you don’t get stuck in another city with no way back.
No, not overreacting. IF nothing was going on then he would have come forward with this information himself instead of playing these games he was playing. Life is too short to get yourself in a mess and heartache for yourself unnecessarily. Lack of honesty is a huge problem.
Fuck that I’d bounce too.
You are not. Leave and never look back. You deserve a man who is honest. He is not it.
Don’t move with him , he lied , what else is he lying about ?
It sounds like you were looking for a reason to question your trust.
The result? Neither of you are ready for this relationship to progress.
Don’t move your child and your self to another city for a guy you don’t trust and lies to you. Ex’s can just be friends but he needs to be upfront with you. The fact that you feel the need to ask for his password tells me you are no where near ready to move for this man.
Let him move by himself
The fact that she called him on snap… was it a video call.
Snap already has a bad reputation for cheaters…
I’d hard pass on moving with him, next min the ex wants him back. It sounds messy
Why are you asking for his passwords ???
The lying is the major problem here. IF he was JUST being a friend, why lie to you about it??? I definitely would NOT be moving anywhere with this character.
Tbh I’m not giving my passwords to someone bc they demand it. Doesnt mean I’m doing anything, just means I value my privacy and myself a whole lot more than someone controlling ego.
You tested him? You did him a favor leaving. Testing is a no no right up there with cheating. If you feel you gotta give your partner tests then the relationship is already finished anyway. Whether or not he was telling the truth in why he lied is irrelevant at this point. Plus you broke up with him SO EASILY why would you move anywhere with someone you can cut off so easy? Imo you need to work on yourself and be single for a while. Figure out why you do these things.
He shouldn’t have lied about anything. If he can’t speak the truth if there was nothing about the situation then what else would he lie about?
No red flag run
A few weeks ago my boyfriend got a message on Instagram from some blonde girl he messaged me on Snapchat within like two minutes and he’s like do you know this girl￼
She has no business crying on he’s shoulder think it won’t stop why would he care anyway just my thinking
Not at all. He crossed a boundary you had set. You are totally right to walk away from someone who doesn’t respect you.
No. Trust your instincts and walk away.
Sounds like you love yourself and aren’t putting up with a liar and probably cheater! Good job! High standards attract high value men TRUST me
His ex shouldn’t be calling him about her relationship issues. And then he’s lying about it to you. If I were you I’d end it. You don’t need his and his exes baggage. It’d be different if it was kid related, but her calling him to cry over a failed relationship is too close for comfort. Leave him
Why do people post stuff like this on here and then second guess themselves and say am I overreacting. Lady you don’t take your kid and move to another city with this guy. You know what the deal is you don’t want to face it. Stay where you are and move on.
It’s more than friends if he’s hiding things
No you are not over reacting don’t move with him it will only get worse
Do not move. He will always entertain his exes… lol I spent a year with someone who messages their exes daily… its toxic and gross and not worth it… move onto someone better
He lied. Not only about why you could not have his phone, but about the reason they were talking. Leave girl. Save yourself and your child the heart ache.
Good for you for protecting you and your child’s heart and putting your fellers out there I would not go seams sketchy he should have told his ex I’m sorry but I have a family now and put you and your child first
lol girl no relationship is for you if you do stuff like that… im going to go out on a limb and say he didn’t tell you because he knows how you’d react…
You are not overreacting at all. That’s a big ol red flag. However, If you felt the need to test him, You didn’t really trust him to begin with.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Let him move and you will see if he’s for you. Give it more time to see if you really miss him. I’m sure he lied so you wouldn’t get mad, but apparently that didn’t happen. Don’t let him take you away from whatever family or friends (life support) you currently have.
I think hes lying i wouldn’t move… hes probably hiding more
Nope. If you give them an inch they take 10. Don’t ever settle for less than what you want!!!
No ma’am!! Get rid of him. He is a liar and will continue to do so. Most likely more than what he will agree to… Tell him to kick rocks. Girl, the only person you should worry about is your baby… I can guarantee there is more to it… bye bye
You already knew or you wouldn’t have been so insistent on testing him and seeing the snap chat. Did he actually let you read what they were saying or just tell you that story of her breaking up with her boyfriend and crying on his shoulder? Either way, you already know. Trust your gut instincts and you and your kid stay put with the familiarity and support you both have.
If you even thought you needed to test him, there’s no trust there. Just call it a day.
I don’t think you should just give up your life for this person. Hes not honest. Stay put. Break it off.
Don’t you dare move in with him. Nope nope nope. He already lied and lied about an ex… That shows where that relationship is gonna go, already.
But wait… Instead of giving it to you, he only SLIGHTLY incriminated himself by admitting to TALKING to another female (ex)
But did he give you the password? No? He cheatin
He’s still lying. It’s some story to make himself look good. Don’t do it.
But don’t be moving your 2 year old into that mess.
if he lied about that he’s capable of lying about anything and everything. end it now , end the relationship.
Why are you dating someone you don’t trust? “Testing” him? You’re old enough to have a 2 year old but you’re playing games like “testing” other adults? What exactly is going on in your relationship that you cant deal with your boyfriend or whatever having a conversation with someone he isnt even interested in? Their relationship ended. Why are you fixated on it?
And finally, why are you the kind of person that he isn’t comfortable being open with? Seems to me you aren’t ready for a relationship and certainly have no business dragging your kid into it.
It being the phone police that’s the problem for me
He’s your bf not your husband you have no business moving with him. Too risky especially for your 2 year old.
If a man wants to talk to his x as friend he can talk to her on speaker phone while you are together. If there is something to hide he will talk to her privately. I think she should dump him, stay where she is, and move on with you life. If it his child get a lawyer. If he have to talk to his x, bye, bye. You can always find another man.
If he lied once he will do it again. If he sneaked once he will do it again… now you will be wondering about him and that will take away from your own peace of mind… definitely wouldn’t move with him.
In my experience where there is smoke there is fire. They almost never give full truth. Think long and hard before moving to another state and uprooting you and your sons lives.
If you’re normally insecure then he prob lied because he was afraid of your reaction but if innocent he should have no problem now letting you into his snap chat since you know… You both need to communicate better.
Girl iv experienced this. He looked my dead in the eye and lied about it and honestly I was an idoit and listened to his excuse. I should not have bc guess what. When we broke up he went straight to her AGAIN. Cut your loses now. If he can do that to you, he doesn’t respect you.
Caught the redflag before you moved, good.
Nope…a women’s intuition is always right!
In my own experience, if you feel like you need to play detective then you already know it’s not an honest relationship. Trust your instinct.
Nope. Here’s your sign
You aren’t over reacting, Be done, focus on you and your child.
Once they start lying, they won’t stop
Ewww, you’re not entitled to ANY of his passwords.
He knows you’re insecure in your relationship and self so of course he wasn’t going to tell you when it happened! I wouldn’t tell you either (thankfully my partner is understanding) but I also wouldn’t turn away anyone who was hurting, even an ex. Maybe it’s time you both have a conversation about boundaries, you with exs and him with the privacy he is entitled too.
If he has nothing else to hide he wouldn’t of been arguing all day sound like he was buying time and left just that there to distract you cut your loses don’t move
Girl run, run away fast. A little lie, a big lie…it’s all a lie…bottom line. Take care of you and that baby and stay rooted. In other words, red flag, do not move with him!
Yes I think you’re overreacting. My ex husband and I have a 11 year old and I was there for him friend wise first years after we broke up. I have a Boyfriend for 4 years and he was ok with that. I’m not interested in him and my boyfriend knows that. You sound insecure mama
He’s lying. He still didn’t give you the password. He downplayed whatever was on his phone. Don’t unroot your child for this man. You and your kid deserve better.
You did not over react. He didn’t lie to protect your feelings he lied to keep himself out of trouble. NEXT!
that’s ur sign move on or move to another state and deal with more
its one thing if he told you about but it was more like he confessed after running out of excuses.
You are wrong for asking for his password. The fact that you think you need his password is a red flag. DO NOT move your child in with this man!
Do you do this regularly for him to not be able to trust you with your reaction? If not then I wouldn’t move anywhere with him.
Regardless what the reason is, I’d just end it. Why live with that in your mind going forward?
Well here’s the deal only you know if you can trust this guy and if your gut says no then you’re not going to be ok. However Snap and other social media stuff is going to cause problems and if either of you can’t pick up each other’s phones and be ok what the other may see then someone’s not being respectful in your relationship. You should not have to hide or delete things -that’s trust in a relationship. He should have been ok knowing if he told you he talked to his ex than it wouldn’t be an issue. That’s something you both need to work on. You are the only opinion that matters. If you don’t want to stress about this stuff then be done.
So you didn’t trust him before hand?
Why are you even there
Do…. Not….move…. With … him. Period. Don’t do it if you don’t have a career, degree, huge savings account, and a working vehicle or you will end up trapped and regretting things. It’s not worth it if this is happening already.
You shouldn’t NEED his Snapchat. That is insecure and seems he gave cause to be so. Trust me… it never gets easier
Why would he give his password? Why would you expect him to or even argue over it? Just because you are in a relationship does not mean you should have access to his passwords. The fact that you made such a big deal about it would have been a warning to me and I would have been concerned what info to share as well. I would have seen that behaviour as insecure and immature and not shared info that I felt you weren’t capable of being reasonable over.
I think you owe him an apology
Perhaps you should look into counselling to find out why you felt the need to test him. Trust, respecting boundaries and communication are key components to a mature relationship. Badgering someone for their password or threatening to end a relationship because they are trying to protect their privacy is not a normal reaction. If you have had a bad experience that you did not cause in a past relationship it’s best to get it dealt with before you ruin another relationship.
No your not if he didn’t have anything to hide he wouldn’t of lied
Honestly I’d leave you just for asking for the password
Called you insecure and then told you the truth after lying…
You’re up in here just red flaggin
Do not move in with him !!! I say this as kindly as I can you will regret this forever!!! For you and your babies sake DO NOT DO IT!!! Please live is blind you will not see the truth until your so hurt and broken down to see it’s to late !! No reason to rushing moving in don’t do it stay safe and separated in home for longer test him a lot more because honestly you should move on my husband would never have even answered the phone he had feelings for her !! Don’t let him play you
Um all I gotta say is if he was hiding that it would have stayed hidden unless you found out or kept asking
It all really depends on the type of relationship you want…
Do touches the to have the same passwords/accounts or be separate.
It depends on what you agree on for your relationship.
Not over reacting at all. Don’t commit to insecurity. Save yourself and your baby first sister!
You are not wrong if he can’t be honest with you over a phone call then why would you be able to trust him with any other things.How can you believe that this girl doesn’t call him so he will feel sorry for her to get him back…Its one thing to talk to an ex but if you have to lie about then there’s a reason.I would also say that you guys would be moving away from her so at least he couldn’t see her in person but if you do that I would definitely make sure something is delt with when it comes to the ex and what her intentions are.Idk but this sounds like a very new relationship and if it is DONT DO IT until you know more about this man.Maybe just hold off the move til next year and see where it goes…Trust and communication is huge for a healthy relationship and it sounds like there is neither in this relationship.Dont put your child into a situation that has red flags and isn’t in a good place at this moment just to move her to a strange place with him just to have it took away…Stay where you are build trust and work on communication then when you BOTH are in a good place then move but right now wouldn’t be a good thing
So you’re the insecure woman begging for his password and being manipulative, did I interpret that right? You are not entitled to any of his info just because you’re in a relationship. Also doesn’t seem like you trust him to begin with. And if he can’t even be honest with telling you about talking to his ex, he doesn’t trust you, either. Incompatible match.
Why did you need his password? There’s your answer
Well you answered your own question. No dont move with him.
You wanted his password… Felt the need to test him… Clearly… You don’t trust him for some reason and not everything has been perfect or amazing like you’ve stated… And, you can’t go anywhere… Without trust… if you feel the need to “test” the person you’re with… Or get their password, to check their stuff… Then there’s obviously an even bigger problem.
Until you can trust him in your gut and soul then a move is a bad move that could go toxic fast. Only you know the answer honestly. I wouldn’t move with a man I was just dating. You have to look at the whole picture outside his ex. Why does he want to move? If going with him would you be isolated from family? Child care/school quality in the area check out? Are the job prospects for you in this area good? There is so much more I could get into here. Follow your gut.
How does FB gifs automatically know the answer to this I didn’t type anything in the search bar yet.
Don’t put your child through this … she is the one who will suffer the most. You had a gut feeling and you were shown “truth”. Take that as a blessing.
Your 100% right. Be done with that liar.
Teasing him ? Nah , you are just lying to yourself, you are insecure and a little bit controlled and manipulative, he doesn’t have to give you his password for his personal social media , maybe he didn’t tell you about the phone call because he knew how you will act .
In my opinion you guys are NOT ready to be in a relationship and I will definitely NOT moving with my child to another state
If you dont have trust you have nothing!
You didn’t trust him to begin with anyways so. If there’s no trust there’s nothing
Girl… be real with yourself. There’s a reason your gut told u to check that shit. U think that it just so coincidentally happened to be that he for the first time received a call from his ex the NIGHT BEFORE u had the urge to ask him about his snap??? N if it was all innocent then he would have been up front straight away n just told u. N if u had a healthy faithful relationship n he simply was still just cool with his ex and friends n there for each-other he would have told u about it before u even had to ask.
Look if you have to “test” your partner then the relationship is toast. It’s prob better for both of you if you both move on.
Nope. If you felt the need to test you know something isn’t right. If he felt the need to keep it from you, claiming an innocent friendly action your relationship has enough issues to NOT move in together. The issue could be his actions or your insecurity for whatever reason don’t move forward until you sort it out.