My bf mom, and my “step” dad have been having a friendship since 2020. This is the third time they have been caught just having appetizers and dinner. But when asked about it, they lie to say they are friends. But always hide the “friendship” Instead of being crazy, saying things, and acting before thinking. My boyfriend and I asked them for dinner so we could discuss what was really going on. I have four kids, one of which is his. I guess the mom didn’t want to talk bc I asked if she was mad at me, and she told me she chose peace in her life. Well, sneaking ain’t giving no one peace that I have ever met. I’m really at a loss here, please, nothing negative this is really taking a toll on me. Thanks
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I’d leave them alone. They are both unattached consenting adults I assume. Stay out of it. Who does it hurt?
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^^^^ what she said its your step Dad so no blood relation to you
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What difference does it make? They are adults.
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Why is it any of your buisness?
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To be honest who cares if they are friends or even more, they are grown adults. I am not sure why it bothers you to the point you are stressing about it…
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They are grown. This is not your business.
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Mind your business, They are Adults
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Is he still married to your mother?
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They’re grown adults. Let them be.
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They are adults and it’s their business. You’re making a mountain out of a mole hill. Get over it and leave them be.
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Not your business! Let it go!
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It’s not your business, especially as I’m assuming your “step” dad is not longer married to your mother?
That could potentially change this if they’re cheating. But if no longer married it’s truly not your business.
I dated a guy in highschool, his dad married my mom. It happens all of the time. Love is love.
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Women and men can be friends. Not everything is sexual. You didn’t mention whether your mom knows they’re friends or not? Eating at the same place isn’t a crime or even cheating. Or maybe they’re meeting up to talk about you and/or your bf?
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I’m guessing this step dad is married to your mom still and that is the problem here?
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Is your step dad still married to your mom?
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Maybe it really is something innocent.
Sometimes older adults have friends that are opposite sex. I know us younger generational group see it differently and act out on it.
Another perspective is that it is a “step” parent which is only related by marriage and not blood, unless your protecting your mom in this aspect. They are all grown adults if something was being hidden it eventually will come to light. Getting in The middle of it will just hurt more people in the end bc if it ends up not true who is mad at who ? Fingers will be pointed at you. I’m not trying to be rude or sound rude I’m just looking at this from a lot of different angles.
They wouldn’t be going out having appetizers at a place that is close to home where people know them if they were more than just friends either. (At least I wouldn’t bc that’s just setting yourself up)
Good luck don’t stress over it!
But is he still married to her mother? I’d so that’s a problem
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A little different, but my husband’s mother, whom does not have a relationship with him, found out my dad and his wife were separating through his brother, she then USED my husband and our child to get to my dad and started dating him. There is nothing you can do, but we just chose to express that we do not want any part of their mess and to keep it away from us. I’m not going to be forced to have something to do with someone that was not part of our lives by their own choice just because you wanted to date someone. Especially when you treated your own child like they didn’t matter.
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He isn’t blood related and unless one of them is married, it’s nobody’s business.
Wish them the best and keep it moving.
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& what do you mean “I have four kids, one of which is his”? I’m hoping you meant your BF. But, since this post is concerning your BF moms and your step dad I was a little hesitant. 
Anyways, mind your business? They are grown. Step dad? Meaning like WAS married to your mom? Or still married?
If they WERE married, let it go. Neither have strings attached and yes he may be your dad but there’s no blood there.
I know it’s awkward because I dated this dude for years. His dad married his step sister. (Which grew up together. Like were kids when their parents met & married) so, it was a little awkward. But, they were grown and decided to get married and it was none of any one’s business 
it was awkward at family events though. When my FIL brought his new wife around because the step sister (ex wife) was always there, because they had 2 kids together… plus their parents are married.
But, in your situation there’s nothing there. You have other things to stress about it. This isn’t important
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If he is not still married to your mom then it is none of your concern.
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Get a life. Mind your own business.
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I am having a hard time figuring out what the problem is here. If your step dad is cheating on your mom just say that.
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I mean, unless your stepdad is still married to your mom then I don’t know what the problem is? And if he is, take a photo and let your mom know and then let her handle it 
otherwise, if he’s single, it really shouldn’t be your concern. Let them enjoy their time and be happy and you can go be happy with your husband and no one will have to bug each other. Yay 
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Why the heck is it any of your buisness what they do?!
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Your step dad and your boyfriend’s mom are both two consenting adults. Try to be happy for them and make them feel good about their relationship. That way they won’t feel like they have to sneak around. You never know, their relationship can actually draw both of your families together. If I read this completely wrong and him and your mom are still married, get a picture and let her know. Otherwise if you can’t accept their happiness, leave them alone.
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I’m assuming you put step in quotations because he’s your mom’s ex husband? Idk what you consider a negative comment so I hope it isn’t that you just want people to take your side because what they do is none of your business. No one should be confronting them and maybe they are just casually seeing each other and it’s just a friendship. Either way, they have the right to do what they want without having to sit down with family and talk about it like they’re children or a part of an intervention. What grown people do is their own business. This sounds weird and controlling.
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So many details and confusion in this one letter so I’m out . My best guess is no longer married to your mom …not hour business …married to your mom then ?? Cheating or not or friends . The I had a baby by him ((too confusing )) so that where I lost track . Good luck .
Basically no matter what, they are adults. You can’t intervene, right or wrong. I understand it is uncomfortable, but you can’t stop them. If he’s still married to your mom, that’s really a mess. But if you tell your mom, you may find yourself in the middle of a very unpleasant situation. Just watch from a distance and support your mom if needed.
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I, personally, would be horribly offended if someone tried to but in to my ADULT business… especially a relationship… in fact, I cut my mother out of my life completely a couple years ago… part of the problem was her trying to insert herself into my relationship and my business… I’m an adult…
If it’s cheating, that’s one thing and I would expect to be called on it and have my life turned upside-down… but, I don’t cheat … (my lovey likes that I’m thick, my mother felt the need to incessantly make rude comments about my weight… even told our kiddos that he must be cheating on me because I’m heavy… before anyone tries to cause unnecessary drama about that… he won’t cheat on me… )
However, everything you have expressed is that you are trying to cause issues where there aren’t because two ADULTS, adultier adults than you I might add, have a relationship…
Whether it’s friendship or more… it’s not your business…
How would YOU react if someone started in on you about YOUR relationship? I bet You’d be furious and offended, because you’re an adult and can make your own choices…
Let them be adults… you may now agree, but it’s not your decision to make and causing unneeded tension within your family isn’t healthy…
Hugs!
My take is that it’s probably weird for someone she sees as a dad to date her man’s mom because if they got married her boyfriend ends up a brother hypothetically blood or not still uncomfortable
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If he is not still married to your mom, then it’s none of your business. However, I can understand why you would feel it awkward.
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Assuming by “step” dad that means he is no longer married to your mom. Then leave them be. They do not owe you or anyone an explanation until if/when they decide to.
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Honestly, I would stay out of it.
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They don’t have to answer to you. They are all adults and can do what they want and it could be just friendship or abit more. It’s their business not yours
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If your Mom is not in the picture anymore with your Step Dad then It’s none of your business. Choose happiness for them both. What they do is not hurting you or your kids. They do not chose your friends or Lovers, Don’t try and choose theirs!
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Be happy for them, if they choose to divulge the nature of their relationship, they will. It’s not for you to pry, judge or let it bother you in any way, why would it ? You wouldn’t want anyone doing that to you. I don’t mean to sound harsh,just being honest. Grow up, it is immature & selfish of you to let it get under your skin, let them be& enjoy each other, as you would want people to be happy for you & your relationship, right ?
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This post needs more detail and better grammar… That being said I assume “step” dad really means he is no longer married to your mother and he may be dating your boyfriend’s mother. If he is no longer dating your mother then there is no reason for you to but in. Also if I read it right your “step” dad is the father of one if your children I have to ask why you slept with him?
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They are two consenting adults to whatever they are doing. Friends, FWB, dating whatever it is really isn’t your business until they tell you their business. Demanding to know information that isn’t yours after they’ve made it clear they dont want to say anything is gross.
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Don’t understand your concern everyone is an adult you cannot get into your moms business they’ll tell you what they want you to know
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You already asked this question and the poster response was that mom and step dad aren’t together no more.
Honestly, even if he was still married to your mom, it’s not your business. They’re adults. If they can’t figure it out, then so be it. Don’t stress over someone else’s problems. Focus on your boyfriend and the kids. That’s your business!
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My Gmail and gpa were high school sweethearts that broke up. Both their parents were married at the time. About 40 years later my Gmail and gpa started dating again. So did their parents. My great grandpa is married to my great grandma and their two children from their previous marriages, my grandma from great grandma side and grandpa from great grandpa side are married as well.
It happens.
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Seems like none of your business 
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Step which means not related. It’s fine and move on. What they do is none of your business.
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It’s none of your business they are grown adults if they wanna keep what they have private then they are entitled to. You are not entitled to know anything about their friendship or whatever it is so get off your high horse sit down and deal with it. You ever stopped to think maybe they are hiding it because of you and your bf? Because if they were open about it yous would try to sabotage what they have. He’s your STEP DAD there is no blood relation within you two for you to be worried at all about your bfs mother dating your step dad. Sounds like a bit of jealousy that your step dad is happy. Get over yourself and worry about your own life not someone else’s. They don’t need to please you they need to please themselves and that’s what they are doing. She told you she chose peace in her life take that as your cue to leave her alone as you ain’t causing her peace. You just look super petty and gross demanding for things your not entitled to. 
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None of your business. mide your own business. They will share when the are ready.
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let the pricks be happy 
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It is really non of your business. As long as it does not impact the kids, you and the BF have no say. As long as the mom and ex step dad are not involved with other who can be hurt, keep out of it.
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Why is it any of your business？
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Besides you just wanting to know all the crazy shit they done did (
) and their status…what’s yr objective here??
Is your step dad and mom still together
Is his parents still together
It sounds very complicated
If those for people aren’t with their spouses
And have found love with each other
Who are you to tell them
Its wrong
But on the other hand if they are cheating on their SO
Then by all means expose them
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Maybe they are just friends and you are making more out of it than there is. Friends do go to dinner together. They are adults leave them alone, if there is something going on they will tell you when they want too. I think your anxiety is coming from not minding your business and thinking you need to micromanage the older adults.
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If you mom and step dad are still together tell your mom, and being this bullshit in the open period. If they are not together it’s not your business and leave them be.
Sounds like you need to mind your buisness so long as hes not with your mother any more.
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They are adults. You wouldn’t like it if they treated you this way. Also it’s your parents. You never have any business in their “friendships”
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This is your bf not husband and your stepdad not biological father. I think you should just sit down and mind your own business dear.
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I mean just tell your mom if they are together… but casually. Not like your telling on them 
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Lots of pieces missing. But all of it says mind your business
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Is your step father still with your mother?
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It’s really not your business. They are grown adults and not related in anyway biologically.
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It’s really not your business unless he’s still with your mother in that case I’d want answers too
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You need to tell your mom and then step aside.
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It’s her mom. If he is with her mom, she needs to be loyal to her mom.
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Just type “I need some drama in my life to distract from my otherwise disappointing existence” and you’d get a lot more answers better suited to your actual desire here.
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Who cares? Why care… just let them enjoy. Adults need company too.
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if they are both single, what’s the problem?
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Do you know they’re old and they’re gonna die before yall??? I mean we can all go anytime young or old. But why they gotta explain anything to yall… let them live in peace like she asked…
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None of your buisness. Theyre both adults. Do you still have a thing for your step dad if hes one of your childrens father? If they are happy their friendship or what it may turn into is not your buisnedd keep out
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I mean unless your step-dad is still with your mom, it’s not really any of your business. Maybe they aren’t really ready to come right out and say they are in a relationship 
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You need to mind your business!!! How would you feel if they were trying to get into your friendships or relationships? They are grown adult and need to be treated as such. Now if your step dad is still with your mother then you need to tell her In a nice way what is going on.
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I wish you would say if they are single or not. If they are then you are seriously annoying.
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If your step dad isn’t with your mom anymore, and everyone is happy.
It’s honestly none of your business.
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I am confused, are they just hanging out as friends or as lovers?
If it was my mom he was cheating on, id sing like a canary.
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Unless he’s still married to your mother leave them alone…they’re grown and do what they want
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This sounds like,a whole episode of jerry springer. Ur step dad also has a kid with you…um. Ignore them. They are adults
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Minds ya own business as long as he’s not with your mam what’s the problem
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Are either in a relationship? If not let them be.
Good Lord …and who are you to even think.you have a say in who can be with who…so dumb
I get it. It’s weird for you. Totally get it. But you can’t control who hangs with who hun.
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How is this your business???
Why are you trying to make problems??
If they are both single mind your own damn business
This post is confusing………
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I need clarification on a few things here…
First off, are your Mom and Step Dad still married and together or not? Do you just still call him your step father because he was in your life for a long time and a father figure to you?
Secondly, when you say one of your 4 kids is his, do you mean one of your 4 kids is yours & your boyfriends? Or that one of your kids is your boyfriends but not yours biologically (your stepchild) that you consider to be one of your children?.. Either way I’m not fully sure what that has to do with anything… unless you mean one of your kids is your stepfathers… in which case… 
Third of all, when you say you think the Mom is mad at you, do you mean your boyfriend’s Mom? Or the mother of your stepchild? Or your Mom? I’m not really sure because of the way you worded it…
Despite all that, if your Step Dad is no longer with your mother, technically he has every right to have a relationship with your boyfriend’s Mom. Is it weird? Ehhh… kind of… But at least it’s not your biological Dad and his bio Mom… which would make you step siblings if they got married… I’m going to disagree with everyone saying it’s none of your business. If you have a strong father/daughter relationship with your step father and you feel weird about the fact that they’re sneaking around and just want clarification & an understanding of whats going on, I think asking them to dinner to discuss it is the mature approach. It’s easy for people on the outside looking in to say you’re nosey, its none of your business, etc… but there are a lot of unclear details here and it’s human nature to feel hurt if people you care about are sneaking around. Maybe they just don’t want to discuss it just yet until THEY themselves know where the relationship is heading. Maybe theuly feel like until they define the relationship themselves, theres really no point in bringing it up and starting any potential drama over nothing. 
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I think it’s their business and no one else’s. Good luck
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Wait is he your step dad now because he’s dating your mum? Did you date him first and that’s why you have a baby with him? I’m so confused right now. Regardless they are adults it’s their business
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Wait,you have a child with your stepfather??This post is confusing.You never mention your own mum so I’m assuming they are split up and if so he can date whoever he wants
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This is confusing. I don’t think she means one of her kids is her step fathers. Don’t know why its all taking its toll on you, unless he is still with your mother.
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If their relationship doesn’t directly effect your kids, why does it matter. It sounds like you are seeking drama where they are trying to have none. Mind your business and focus on your relationship and your kids. They are grown and allowed to do what they want
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I am sorry this is consuming so much of your thoughts. I was just diagnosed with anxiety not long ago and a lot of people who don’t go through it don’t understand how something that might not be a big deal to them can keep us up at night while we think and rethink it over and worry even if we don’t want to! I’m sure it makes you uncomfortable and thinking about the logistics and what people will think or how you’ll explain it to your kids is overwhelming to you. Do your best to work past that and in a nicer way than some people have put it 
try to take a deep breath and tell yourself you can’t control if they have feelings for each-other and if it goes somewhere you’ll deal with it when it happens. Try to be happy for them maybe? I have recently found out some traumatizing news about a family member very close to me going to prison for some horrible things I never fathomed they were capable of. So trust me when I say I know it’s hard having something consume you and having to keep it from everyone while it keeps you up all night. Try your best to focus on daily life and be mindful when your letting yourself fall into the rabbit hole of thoughts. Whatever happens happens. You just be a good mama 
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Y’all need to stop messing with this girl. 
you know what she’s saying. Her boyfriend’s cousins dogs owners wife is sleeping with her uncles step cousins wife’s sisters baby momma and somehow it’s her business. Get with the program @!!!
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If he’s cheating on your mum, then you should mention it to her and let her deal with it. Otherwise, why would you even think you have a right to stick your nose in their business??? Entitled, spoilt brat with a victim complex. Drop your ego and leave them alone. Why take away their excitement just because you need to control everyone? I’m glad you’re not my kid.
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So when you say one of them are his… you mean the bf or your step dad?? Because I thought you didn’t make that part too clear. If that’s true, it changes everything. But if he’s just a man that was married to your mom and may have helped raise you, you don’t get to choose who he spends his time with. If he wants to be friends with her, let him be. Everyone deserves to find happiness. It might be weird to you but it also cost zero dollars to mind your business
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Let it go … not really your business … life’s short let them do whatever they want … really doesn’t effect you unless you let it
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I dont see the problem…maybe they really like each other
It’s not your business, they are grown adults.
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Its none of your business what they are doing.