Advice? I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost five years. We have one child. For the last few months, he has no sex drive. We used to have sex almost every day, and now it’s once a week if I’m lucky. He says he’s just tired, but stays up all night on his phone or playing video games. I ask, and he shuts me down instantly. I understand it isn’t everything in a relationship, but it’s important to me, and it’s honestly lowering my self-esteem like I’m not attractive to him anymore. Other than sex, I get minimal affection, and its starting to really hurt my feelings. Should I say something? Or am I overreacting?
Definitely say something.
Talk it out work it out.
If it’s enough to bother you then yes talk to him. Actually talk and try to figure out what is going on with him and what the reasoning is.
Of course you should say something, open communication is key to a lasting relationship, these things happen. Gotta find a way to rekindle the fire sometimes.
He met someone else! I’ ve been throu that and that s why they act like that! Leave him!
Yeh you should talk to him. Don’t get used to being hurt, no matter what the reason is. Goodluck!
You should be able to talk to him about how you feel. If it bothers you that much, then you should talk to him.
Definitely talk! Could be his age and testosterone levels are off- that happens in males- women’s prime is their 30/40s.
Could it be a medical condition? Any new meds? I would ask questions before jumping the gun.
Say something… Or he’s getting it else where… That’s what happened to me…
He is tired baby is stressing him out give it time… he needs his alone time to so boys night out and a date night here and there
Communication is the key. Talk. My husbands sex drive is lower when his depression is bad.
Been there He never would talk 2 me.BYE C YA
Talk to him, you’d be surprised what would be bothering him to make him uninterested in sex. He may be the one not feeling attractive, etc
Hopefully he aint gettin tired of u or cheating
Talk it out… maybe he is depressed?
Find somebody to fuck
Speak the fuck up or lose what you fell in love with.
My ex would stay up all night on his phone in his bathroom. And I later found out he had hidden his friends list.
He’s screwing someone else
Yes you should definitely say something!!
My husband wasn’t cheating…but we had similar problems. Turned out he stayed for the kids and just didn’t like me.
Talk to him about how you feel without bringing all of your emotions into it. Be straightforward this is how I feel, this is why I feel this way. Sometimes we let the way we feel lead us to irrational thinking leading to self esteem problems. Just be open and honest dont get upset and look for ways to compromise both of your feelings. You have to be above the situation and remember it is you and him against the problem, not you and him against eachother.
Something definitely. Out of bounce .he might have another woman on the side
Omg. Of course there are people on here saying he’s cheating. That is not always the damn case negative Nancy
I’m looking at it from your boyfriend’s POV. My husband could have sex multiple times a day and I’m good with weekly. The more he pesters me, the less I want it. Begging is just not attractive to me. Play hard to get! The less interested he is the more interested I am!
Just got out of a 10 year marriage about a year ago , he sounds exactly like my ex husband… Turned out he was cheating on me.
What’s his work life like and what’s his stress level when it comes to bills and money?
My man shuts down too, when he’s stressed about finances and what not. So I’m wondering if that is an issue. Also, how old is he? Age plays a part in it and his testosterone may have recently came down if he’s around 30.
And don’t let anyone put it in your head that he’s a cheater. That’s for young naive women. Not saying there’s not a chance I’m just saying he’s very likely a good man and there’s other reasons this could be going on. Don’t jump to conclusions and be a psycho please.
Yeah. That’s a little sketchy. I would be straight out asking him. Why waste your time wondering.
He’s not attracted to you anymore, I’d leave
You’ve been with him for 5 years, if you have to ask Facebook if you should talk to him or not when hes upsetting you then you two have bigger problems than sex. Talk to him! What’s the worst that can happen?
First thing comes to my head is cheating
Check his prostate…
Make it more interesting maybe spice things up…guys tired of missionary also
My ex hubby did this 2 me. Always on his phone when I wasn’t in the room. I got a Hold of it when he went 2 sleep n got on his Google history. All kinds of porn. Yet he wanted nothing 2 do with me. Had an affair with one of his co-workers also.
Talk to him. My husband and I had a similar situation. Found out his testosterone was Uber low. My husband told me that that he felt like I wasn’t attracted to him anymore. It was rough. He was even afraid to tell me because he didn’t want to seem like “less of a man.” Just talk to him… a SOFT approach. Not a grumpy one(although I know it gets us feeling grumpy in that situation) They want to be heard too. Communication is key! Good luck
My fiance is the Same way I wish I had advice for you we went from every day to maybe once every 3months and sec has never been super important to me but it definitely makes me wonder what has changed in him that he doesn’t wanna do anything with me at all
Cheat on him and then child support him.
Talk to him. Communication is the key.
Go out and buy you a sexy outfit. Like a sexy school girl or just a matching pair of bra and panties that he’s never seen. Get a pair of thigh high stockings and high heels. Beat your face, do your hair. Get a babysitter for the night and meet him at the door in your new sexy outfit. Soon as the door closes, pull down his pants and give him a bj. I guarantee an episode of hot hot sex.
Could he be cheating
Maybe it’s not about you. Maybe it’s about him? Maybe he has something going and it’s causing this.
Omg I had this problem, me and kids dad were together 6 years 2beautiful kids but after I got my tubes tied (health issues) we stopped his reason was cause we couldn’t have anymore babies what’s the point…I don’t know if it was me still to this day I don’t know…but that was the reason for our breakup…was an issue for me…but now has a new gf and is very sexual with her so he tells me…lol like wtf so I’m thinking it was me…
Best advice ever… if your man isn’t getting sex from you that’s cause he’s getting it else where. Don’t be dumb
Girl protest and protest this destroyed my marriage after years of pleading I couldn’t take any more I hope he cares enough to listen the last time I tried to talk to my ex before I gave up I straight told him he’s chasing me away.
Sounds like his testosterone levels is low. That or if he has back problems, that will do it.
Im the person in my relationship that has low sex drive.
I find my partner very attractive.
But I have a hormone imbalance that gives me a low sex drive.
He may be the same. Maybe his tired isn’t physical its his mind.
Your boyfriend sounds like me we had a kid and I’m like over the whole sex thing…
Have he had his testosterone levels checked?
Tell him how you feel and go buy a toy!!
It’s the new times… I hear a lot about this and the younger generation are always on the phone, no time for sex. Crazy
Research maca root!!! It really helped with my husband’s sex drive! Sit him down and tell him how unhappy you are. Work together to fix your issues!
There are a wide array things from low Testosterone to depression or stress that can cause a dip. And most men feel ashamed that they aren’t performing like they used to. You’re going to have to be a safe place to talk before he will open up.
I feel like there are bigger problems here. Please don’t take this the wrong way but you have been in this relationship for some time and you are asking a bunch of strangers if you should tell him how you feel. That tells me there is a lack of communication happening. Obviously something is bothering him as well and yet he also does not speak with you about it. You really should tell him and also tell him he needs to tell you what’s going on with himself. The only way to get past this is to speak to one another. Neither of you are mind readers and will not be able to resolve the issues when neither of you know what the other’s issues are.
Be open and tell him honestly how you feel
So many different things. Cheating, men’s health problems, etc. Talk to him let him know how you feel
Sex drives change from time to time… It happens to women and it happens to men. Of course you should say something! Communication is vital in every relationship. How can you reach a solution if you don’t first talk about it? Perhaps he isn’t as invested as he used to be but I wouldn’t jump to any conclusions without giving him a chance to explain first.
Maybe something isn’t right with him and he feels odd, I mean anything is possible, open communication
I am in the opposite position… I have no sex drive anymore… My SO can’t seem to deal with it and doesn’t comprehend that I can’t change it. I don’t know if it my age, medications or loss of love… But I don’t even have the urge to pleasure myself. So idk what it is…
Many things could be going on besides cheating (ive seen it mentioned a few times)
Could be his prostate
Just to name a few!!! So my advice is talk to him and if see if he will get checked out about it if its something that really bothers and concerns you but you have to talk in a non confrontational manner!!!
Well bits obviously bothering you so say something. If he’s on some antidepressants they can kill libido and yes men can be stressed tired and not interested as well. You sound like you also have a different love language than he does so you may need to talk about what you need. Good luck!
Just talk to him about it!
If he’s older (like in his 40’s) or older. Their sex drive goes down. Plus if he’s working a lot he’s probably tired. Try talking to him. Try spicing up your sex life. Take him by suprise sometime & dress up in something sexy and when he walks in the door from work he will be knocked out of his shoes and socks
He might be getting ready to leave you
Maybe low testosterone? Or he’s just not interested in being intimate with you. Try to do something different in the bed room. Maybe he’s bored?
Talk about and how you feel , maybe he does need to get checked out by gp offer more excitement toys and such , date night’s just the two of you once a month or something make it about you and him, good luck hope it gets better for you
Wake his ass up by sucking his chub. Bet he still gets morning wood
Well first I would look at how his life seems to be going. Put yourself in his shoes. Is he possibly depressed? Stressed? Feeling stuck in a rut? Men don’t always like to talk about how they are feeling. And it’s not a competition on who deals with more shit. Really think about your actions outside of asking for sex. Are you building him up, keeping things light? Have you acted in any way that might hurt, offend, or annoy him?
We always give tips like these to men, but they are something we need to think about too. Put him before yourself more, or try to go on a couple dates or give some surprises, something new to add some spice in his life or make him feel appreciated.
Other than that. I would be worried about something a little sadder. If making him feel better doesn’t help, maybe try to do a little investigating to see if theres any chance he could be disloyal. Because that usually a pretty strong sign of it.
If something is important to you and hurting you then your not overreacting
Whoever wrote this question please pm me
Taking any anti depressants and upping the dose can be the problem .hope you get answers
When did you have your kid? Men can have post partum depression too
If something is bothering you, ALWAYS say something. However, do not accuse and point fingers, healthy conversations are always best.
It’s more than likely not about you. Probably low testosterone. Which is very embarrassing for a man so it makes sense why he would blame it on being tired.
Say something. Closed mouths don’t get fed.
I’ve been with my fiance for 8 years and we honestly have sex maybe 2-4 times a month. I work 6 days a week while he works 4, I’m personally way too exhausted to be bothered with getting intimate.
My boyfriend was the same way for a little bit. We went a month without sex. It was super upsetting. There were thoughts like “If there’s no sex… how can it be considered a relationship? Am I not attractive anymore?”
When it got to the breaking point, he went to the doctor and he had low testosterone. A few life changes and we’re up to once a week without medication.
Personally, I lost my drive when I incredibly stressed. When I started loosing respect in a previous relationship, I lost the attraction to that person.
But you can’t get the answers with talking about it. There are lots of articles and books about it as well.
Something’s up…go through his phone…sneaky but you should.
Talk to him about it. Maybe he needs to see a doctor about his low sex drive.
Talk to him. Communication is key. I had the same problem with my fiance. I expressed how I was feeling, and slowly things are better in that department
Maybe someone else in his life maybe explains up and playing. It is idea. I would check phone. If he was smart would delete if he was but by chance then no look for your self. Men over 40 tend to have but some are other want all time. I know a guy like this
Went through this … turned out he was watching a lot of porn.
Is he diabetic? High blood pressure? High stress job? Just like women, mens hormones can mess up their sex drive too. How is his diet? Does he sleep well?
Honestly, no one here can help you. I realize it’s frustrating but talk to your spouse AND be kind. MEN ARE SENSITIVE when it comes to their nature. Sending super horny positive, cheek clapping, hair pulling, neck biting vibes!
He may be depressed? …
Just like women have hormonal imbalances, men can too. My husband went through this a while and it turned out his testosterone levels were extremely low. He had no drive and was always tired. Once he got something prescribed and started being treated for it, he’s back to his normal self. Talk to him GENTLY and ofter to go to the doctor with him. You guys need to communicate
I think he needs a date night out. Sounds like hes feeling depressed msybe. Feeling a lot of responsibility maybe. Get a babysitter and go do something fun. If it was an affair he wouldnt br playing video games. Hes depressed.
Mmmm if you go from having sex everyday to once a week that would be a major problem for me first if you’re not giving it to him then who is?? Sex and affection is such an important part of a relationship I would bring up my questions and concerns up to him and let him know it’s a major problem for you what I don’t understand is why he gets so defensive??
Lace his coffe with viagra😉
Speak to him about it!!!
His dick gets hard for some one else!
Hmmmm unless something is physically wrong (illness, a medication) with him I’ve never heard of a guy not wanting sex.
Girl I’ve been with my fiance for 5 years, and with 3 kids and him working a super stressful and overnight job, it’s a great month if we have sex even once, but that’s just us I wouldn’t be too worried about only doing it once a week though! You just gotta learn to take care of it yourself if he doesn’t!
But sometimes you really are just physically tired.
Talk to him. It’s possible to be health related. It’s also possible he’s looking for something on the side. I went through this. That was how it started. It got much, much worse. He refused to talk to me, work things out. Figure out the distance. Another 10 years later, I know the truth in what he was really doing all along. 18 years out the window.
Not all men are like this. Start with open honest communication and a date night out! You have to make couple time for each other, especially with kids. At the very least, once a month just the two of you to reconnect and get on the same page. He’s your partner, you both want to feel important, heard and loved. I wish the best for you both!
Get a counselor. It may be a physical problem or he is having emotional problems. Find out the reason.
Communication is EVERYTHING. Even DURING sex 🤦😂. But seriously, talk to him!
girlllll you’re lucky!!! i’ve been with my husband 5 years, 1 kid and i’m pregnant with our 2nd and the SOB only has sex with me once a MONTH IF THAT. and we’re so young too. i’m only 20 and he’s 24 so i’m like wtf lol. sorry boo boo. hope it gets better for you but also please be grateful at the same time
Maybe consider he just doesn’t want to have sex? I go back and forth. I wanna have sec every five seconds or not at all and there’s no in between. My boyfriend gets super upset about it but I can’t help it and people shouldn’t be so concerned about that that they aren’t considering there’s something bigger going on. Like don’t worry about not having sex, worry about the fact that maybe he is depressed, maybe he’s stressed, help make him less stressed or help him with what’s needed and I bet it’ll help his sex drive
It can be a wide range of things! From boredom in the bedroom, to hormone imbalances, to his brain being tired, or he just can’t get aroused! Have a sit down with him and talk to him about it.