Would you rather keep your child in a toxic situation and raise him to watch something so toxic or take him out of that situation to put him in a healthy environment to grow up and witness? I wish you the best. It’s not am easy thing to deal with as I’ve been there before myself. But trust me, it’s so much easier when they are younger and not aware of the situation than to do it when they are 4 or 9 when they are completely aware of their surroundings.
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Sounds like daddy postpartum. My husband had that with our 1st and I was confused and hurting b/c of it and ended up with bad postpartum depression and anxiety myself. 1 yr later I learned what daddy postpartum was. Husband snapped out of it after he read my journal (Ive been telling him for half a year things need to change or im leaving). It’s 1.5 years later and we’re doing better and had a oopsie 2nd. He still struggles to help (im very salty about it) but from what I’ve heard is it’s a common issue for new dads to get used to helping at all. My oldest kid is almost 2 and Im still doing majority of the work around the house and with the kid despite me working full time too. If he doesnt help or even listen to your plea for help, get prepared to leave. He’ll either snap out of it and win you back or he’ll accept the separation and you can focus on yourself and baby
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if he’s yelling at the baby for fussing at 2 months who knows what he’s capable of when the baby is older. dump his ass sis you got this.
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Better now then later when the damage is done to him and has a permanent effect on him.Because it already has on you
Postpartum depression hits men too. They might not want to admit it though
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Same issues over here 
although I thought this was just normal ‘man’ behaviour. 
I’ve recently been like ‘nah it’s your wallet, you look for it. Or you want a cup of tea, you make it.’ It gets tiring doing everything for someone whose capable and getting no appreciation or help in return. 
He’s yelling at a 2 month old? 
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You’re allowing it first off don’t be doing shit for that asshole and he’s screaming at an infant HELL NO! lord knows if I was in your shoes I’d pack his shit and throw it outside in the fire why are you letting him treat you and your child like this stop making excuses and LEAVE
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By the sounds of it U have a man child U deserve way better I do it on my own with 4
Here’s a tip from experience… Your child will only be as happy as you are. No matter how “well” you think you hide any emotional pain, your child will pick up on it and feel it right along with you.
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Get the hell out of there if talking doesn’t get him to help.
Your priority is the baby. What happens when it progresses from yelling? Babies pick up on feelings too. They fuss with people who are not good. Please don’t wait for something bad to happen. You need to know that you can survive without your boyfriend
Get rid you deserve better
Listen to your mother. She is absolutely right in this regard.
This is a hard topic… I am THANKFUL to have someone who accepted me and my 5 year old (at the time) and me 4 months pregnant. He jumped in and helped in every way. Mentally, physically and sometimes financially. When baby was born, he would help with night time if I asked and still get up and work a 12-15 hour shift, come home with night time routines and house work. But there are times even now where he slacks. I have to understand that it’s hard. For both of us. It’s a give and take. We have had countless conversations about me needing more. Even when he’s empty, he gives me more. He apologizes, helps, and sometimes falls into the same pattern. But he’s worth it, and so are our kids. We are now married, my daughter knows him as her dad, we have one of our own (15mo) and I’m due any day now with our second. But it’s normal. It’s easy to get frustrated when you’ve been up alllllllll night. There maybe just needs to be more communication. Like hey, I don’t mind waking up, but I just stayed up however many hours, can you change this diaper? Or when you get home start the laundry, and I’ll do dinner or vice verse. Being a parent is frustrating if you’re tired and running on empty or no sleep. But this baby needs the both of you. If you guys are together, it needs to be effort from both sides. And as a momma, a lot of the time it will be you. But you got this! Keep your head up, have the conversation and say you want this to work but you’re tired and you need help. You aren’t asking for an argument but the baby is priority. And you need change if this is going to work. And separating won’t make it any easier (on either of you) * experience with my first born. We were young *
I think everything takes time and you need to be patient. Relationships are hard work and babies are even harder work. It takes time for some men to bond to their baby and until daddy has that initial one on one then he won’t appreciate what you do and won’t be present to how special baby is. Most Men don’t think like we do, we assume they know we’re home working our ass off and that we don’t stop from the second we open our eyes until we shut them… but they can’t read our minds.
Maybe consider what his mums role was like while bringing up your partner, does she still do everything for him. Does she have a close emotional bond with him, is she affectionate with him.
It’s about creating workability as a team and slowly breaking them in and making them understand that they have new responsibilities.
Maybe set up one job to start with like bath time when dad gets home from work and stand near them and ease your partner into it.
Good luck x
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Okay. He is working like crazy, stress will definitely effect how a person behaves and it seems as if that’s happening. Talk with him, about him at first to see how he feels. Then explain that you need more help.!
The boys that grew up with super moms. Those moms did everything. Worked full time, cooked all the meals, cleaned the whole house and kept it clean, while the husbands just sat around after work. The wives complained and continued and nothing ever changed. The children witnessed all of this growing up. AND IT WAS COMPLETE BULLSHIT AND UNFAIR TO THE MOMS. Now they are adults and having kids. I hear about this shit all of the time now where the husbands are following the same route and fucking shame on them. The problem is that if you have a kid 4 months into the relationship these conversations about the future never have time to develop. Most people won’t change. Play the odds. Make a plan and find a new partner or do it on your own.
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Anyone who just leaves their kid behind. Due to lack of child care. Just sucks.
Waaaaawaaaa! Grow up
P.N.D isn’t just for women and sounds like he could have this, honestly worth looking into, as having a baby is a big change for everyone, sure his being an ass but depression can change someone’s personality, wishing you luck and hope he snaps out of it soon.
If he doesn’t change his act then you need to get out cause this is emotional abuse. This could turn physical. I’ve seen it first had and hope you and your precious boy will be ok
Leave. Him. Now. Your baby will be better off for it.
Sounds exactly like my ex. I tried for a little while but In the end I had to leave him because it got worse.
Your mother is right. Grow up woman and mind your baby boy not an over grown selfish adult that has no respect for you nor your baby and never will for that matter
Behold…your future. Fuck that I’d leave and go where support is going to be.
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I’m with your mom. Ditch the dude.
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Have you talked to him about the way you are feeling Momma. You got this!
It won’t get any better staying
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Break up with him! You can try talking but I doubt it will work. Get you a man that is gonna help out and go above and beyond for you!
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Sis, i worked 14 hours a day then would come home and take care of my baby and the house (when the hubs was offshore for 3 weeks at a time). if he cares he would put in the effort without complaints. He needs to suck it up and be a man/daddy
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Ditch the dude!!! No way he should treat you or your child that way
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Go with your gut. I would give him a little more chances he’s still new at being a dad it’ll get better
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It’s never healthy to be with someone for a child’s sake babe you can’t think like that put it this way do you want your little boy growing up thinking that it’s okay to treat a woman like That? Because if you don’t stand up to him that’s what will happen xx
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Was in the same situation… get out! Your child will benefit more from a happy mother who is not together with the father… than grow up with an unhappy/unhealthy relationship between parents.
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If he’s treating the baby badly now, how do you expect he will treat a toddler during the terrible twos and threenager years? Get out before it’s too late.
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Maybe he has Post Patrym Depression? Men get that too… Granted I didn’t get to read the whole post yet.
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If your asking you already know the answer. It’s not gonna get better
Men get ppd too… Have you tried talking to him ? Maybe he needs help too.
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My husband works shift work, 12 hour shifts. He couldn’t wait to get home and help with the baby. He did feedings, changes, baths, cleaned, helped with everything. Being tired is not a good excuse.
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Men can get post pardum too. Maybe he needs to talk to someone or join a new dad group. He might not even realize how bad it’s gotten.
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If he has no patience now then when your baby gets to be a toddler it will only get worse. He may seem ok now but next thing you know hes whooping the shit out of your baby because of a hunger tantrum.
Yeah my ex was like that…wanted a baby so bad…I said no…let’s wait for a while…well 5 years later I had our baby…and he was the only one working…he would come home from work and straight to sleep…and then gi out all the time and leave me with our baby…wouldn’t help with nothing…so 4 months after going thru that…I said, if I’m going to ne a " single parent" i may as well he a single parent. I packed up everything and left. Never looked backed. I was a full time student as well. Going to school at night…he didn’t help with anything…good luck to you hope everything works out for your family
My husband works 10.5 hrs most days, comes home helps with our kid, cleans if I need it, does handy work around the house and stays up till 12-1am so he can spend time with me.
Your man needs a serious wake up call.
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Newsflash listen to your mother, you shouldn’t put up with it and don’t have to.
And yes I second the post partum thing. Dad’s get it!
I wouldnt trust your boyfriend alone with the baby. If he’s not taking care of the baby & yells at him then lord knows what he’d do behind closed doors. Find love elsewhere. Yall deserve 100000x better
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Thank u, next. He sounds like a baby himself.
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You need to leave him. The longer this goes on, the more you will realize it. Baby comes first, always. My son’s father was the same way. It Made me hate him. Now hes made the choice to not even be in our sons life. And my son is better off for it.
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It will only get worse, instead of yelling there will be shaking and slapping and hitting and death for the baby. Ditch the dude like mom says. Before you have to bury your baby.
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I’d feel if it was me …that if he is working hard and paying his Bill’s and yours then cut him some slack . I’m old fashioned I guess but I still believe the mom should be doing most of the taking care of the children… especially if she is a stay at home mom .
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It is entirely possible that he’s feeling some PPD. Have you asked him how he feels? If he’s actually okay?
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You and your son would be better off leaving.
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Have you tried having a serious talk with him about his behavior? If yes and he didn’t make a change then it’s time to ditch him!!! My husband kinda started to help less with the baby for a minute there but I talked to him about it and he completely changed his attitude around 
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I would have a very frank discussion with him about my goals and expectations and let him state his. If you can’t come to some compromise in between, unfortunately the relationship might not have the legs to carry either of you much further.
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You say you don’t want to leave and put your baby in that kind of situation, but kind of situation are you keeping him in? You gotta think about that.
Staying in an unhealthy relationship for the baby isn’t going to do either of you any good.
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Yep. Sadly most men are like this.
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He’s stressing over a new baby bills and other things put the baby in day care if need be try to make time for him make breakfast or dinner while baby is sleeping father’s get stressed to just like if u were a single mom don’t leave him just work around things make a plan for the week set a date night
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he might have some depression going on but that aint no excuse to not help care for your child. Give him an ultimatum that he needs to fucking get it together, or you and the baby are out.
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Baby should always come first
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God damn it. We have 4 sons. My husband has worked all these past 17 years to go from maintenance man to superintendent. He NEVER once said a single word about how hard he worked in the world when he was home with HIS children. He didn’t HELP me, he RAISED them as well. We are both tired. We are both fighting the battle. I’m not trying to be hateful, but this “baby daddy” seems weak. We are expected to do it all. He can change a fuckin diaper. 💁🤘
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Leave. Yelling at a newborn. He is not ready for this adventure momma. Best of luck
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It doesn’t get better! If he is like this now he will have this same attitude when your son is older. Imagine when you do go back to work, he will still be acting like that and life will be harder for YOU! Worst what if you stay and your son watches this treatment from his dad to his mom, he will think it’s okay to act that way!! LEAVE While you still can. Sometimes relationships just don’t work.
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He’s honestly probably having PPD/baby blues. Men get it too. I would just sit down with him and have a civilized talk. Don’t go at him and chew him out. Just calmly explain that you’ve noticed a change. But just because he works all the time and pays bills doesn’t mean he can’t help out
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Ppd is real in dads he should go talk to someone…he dont have a right to do that tho. Ur not working. No so u should be getting up with the baby and doing stuff while he sleeps or is relaxing after work. Having your kid thrown at u right after uve worked 12hrs is kinda bs…stop making him breakfast if hes gonna not watch the baby. But the house work is on u momma since ur not working…look into headstart programs. They take babies as young as 6weeks old and there based on income. If he refuses to change or help or go talk to someone id be leaving
I would never trust him to watch the baby. He is very immature & it will only get worst. A man that is not fit to watch & help with his baby is not worth having! Listen to your mother, it will save you years of regret. You can not force a man to be a loving caring father. Also, he treats you bad too, doesn’t sound like he truly loves you or the baby. You & your child deserve so much better.
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Honestly how old ARE YOU ?
Leave FOR FUCK SAKE HES A PIG 
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Mate reading some of these comments are ridiculous! If it was the other way round, you would insist they talk, you would bang on about how tiring it is for women etc. Men get tired and depressed too! Men get PPD too! Working 12hr shifts a day is fuckin tiring, it can be an excuse! Wtf? Its not a toxic situation, its not “unfair”, a lot of men just dont know what to do when it comes to after birth, and no not all men are the same. Maybe have a chat to see if he’s okay? I defo don’t believe its a one sided thing and that he definitely has something going on. Theres no he/she is more tired, but mum is a stay at home mum, dad works 12 hours a day, its both tiring! All there needs to happen is an open hearted convo.
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Your son doesn’t not need to see that kind of an example. The best thing you can do is leave him listen to your mother’s advice.
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Why do women keep usind the term “help” when it comes to guys parenting their kids???
HES NOT REFUSING TO HELP, HE’S REFUSING TO BE A PARENT.
I would leave.
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I’d check into post pardon … my partner had it and it was really rough for a while but he eventually got out of it and now he is an amazing father to our little boy and an amazing husband
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Your son is better off with you two being apart and you being happy and taking care of yourself. Imagine if he grew up in a house where his parents are still together but his dad isn’t doing anything or being involved with him… Staying together isn’t always better. It’s also setting a good example for you to not put up with bad treatment
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He sounds depressed. Talk to him and advise him to get some help. Theres no shame in that
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Honestly this sounds like the norm for a new baby. Exhaustion and depression can take a toll.
It doesnt sound like a good relationship. Possably counseling. I wouldnt put up with his crap
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She gotta leave him hes immature for acting the way he does and you deserve better .he’s not ready for real responsibilities hes treating you like a maid
Idk id be damn if i wait hand and foot on someone that wont even help with their own child. The least they can do is what needs to be done (feeding, clothing, changing) not that hard.
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If he’s yelling at the baby, what makes you think he won’t snap and SHAKE the baby?!? Get yourself and that baby away from him, he sounds toxic!!!
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Post natal depression, it’s obvious. Sudden changes, please ask him to get some help for his mental health and until then, I think it would benefit you if you and baby lived by yourself. As depressed as someone can be, there is no excuse to yell at a newborn
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Sorry to say you set yourself up. Cooking and cleaning? While the only thing he has to offer is a complaint and a dollar? Girl you don’t need that in your life right now. One kid is enough. Take care of your baby and leave that man alone. Single women are raising their kids working two jobs, attending school functions, and more! While he can’t even hold a baby? 
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Um wow to many giving advice about leaving. Sorry that isnt an answer! Being someone who worked overnights for 2 years I was a bitch. And we didnt have a infant at that time and it was only 8 hours. You both are still adjusting to having a baby AND new relationship(1 year isnt that long). This may be old fashioned but as long as you are home you should be doing the home things. Ive been a stay at home mom and you can bet I took care of everything and our kids. Now my husband is the stay at home dad and he nows does everything. Including picking up my dirty cloths. You should sit down and just talk with him about what BOTH are looking for in yalls relationship and with the baby and compromise together. You’ll never have a long lasting relationship if whenever something isn’t going the way you want you leave. A real relatioship is about learning and growing as a couple. This is coming from someone whose significant other is 10 years older and 3 children later.
Sounds like you both have some depression and need counseling.
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GET OUT NOW. Seriously he should want to help!
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My boyfriend was like this for the first 3 months. Even would scream at the baby if he was crying or if he peed on him. Also left me for his friends several times. Now I sat down and talked to him and told him what was up. That this isn’t going to be this way and he changed. Our son is 15 months and we have been doin really good. I mean he helps me SOOO much. We are equal and he is raising him with me together. I would say really talk to him and get it through his head. If he can’t change then you need to leave. For your sons sake.
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I got a terrible feeling when I got to “he yells at the baby.” You don’t yell at a 2 month old baby. It sounds like an abusive relationship forming. Get out now.
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I’d make some suggestions n if he can’t compromise ? Time to say bye !! It’s his child too n I’ve had 2 grown now 30 yrs married n it’s compromise communicate each day or doesn’t work ? Sorry but true both need to hell each other any time needed it’s not just one sided n he’s not meeting his half way at all in your l family ;"(
YOU’RE NEVER TOO OLD TO LISTEN TO YOUR MOTHER. GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE! There is no point in staying. Be miserable for WHAT? A man that doesn’t appreciate you, AND sounds selfish as F***??? Not to mention his behavior with the baby. RUN…RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN!
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Hes playing the I pay everything card sorry but sounds like he dont wanna be a parent or a boyfriend I’d dump his ass its gonna be worse for the baby growing up in that type of house hold
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Dads can get PPD toi
Get out now if you don’t you not only missed the standards for yourself but your teaching your son that the way his father treats you is ok is that what you want
Are you his girlfriend or his live in maid girl pack your bags
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Your his girl friend mother of his child not his slave idgaf if he works and you dont right now. You will eventually go back to work. If he didn’t want this responsibility he shouldn’t have unprotected sex. IMO
Girl dont use a baby as an excuse to stay in an abusive and toxic relationship. And before anyone says that not abuse, look it up. It doesnt always have to be physical. Girl get out while you can. Listen to your momma.
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My answer is gonna be very different. I went through this with my boyfriend 3 years ago and he was in severe amout of mental turmoil. We stuck it out. It was hard and some days i didnt know what would happen with us.but we made it. We have had 3 othe beautiful babies and have a pretty great life. Talk to him get him to talk to someone. Dont just leave if hes really having problems. If he just doesnt want to be there then leave. But it could be more than whats on the surface.
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I would leave. That is not a good environment for you or your son. If he yells at the baby in front of you imagine what he would do if you weren’t there
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Husband and I have been together for 13 years married for 6 and have an almost 2 year old. We have been there. Let me explain… Husband stayed home for the first 4 months (I also had a C-section and a back surgery when she was 3 months). He works 12 hour days and I felt like I was going it alone, same dishes, same clothes pile, same shit different day. We had put effort into this before and I thought we shouldn’t give up so easily. For your own mental health and the health and happiness of your child, have a very open and honest sit down discussion with your bf. Yes, he works 12 hour days, but you’re working 24 hour days🤷♀️. Maybe he feels helpless and it’s coming out as impatient anger. It’s worth a shot, right? Open communication and honesty with your partner is KEY to making that work. It’s not necessarily an immediate “leave him” situation, unless he does get worse. Having a child is a huge new and also terrifying thing, and can put gigantic strain on even the most sound relationships. Give talking it out a chance. At least you can say you tried, right?
Financial abuse… a job is a job. You dont get to stop being a parent because you have a job. Get out while you can. Your child will be better off with a happy and mentally healthy mom. You deserve better.
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He sounds stressed out. Still NO REASON to yell at a baby tho! But, 12 hour shifts are tiring. and y’all are both new parents so yea, it’s going to take a toll on both of you. I mean, did you expect it to be easy? Did you expect it to not put a strain on y’alls relationship? Because a newborn baby can definitely do that. This shows you what type of parent he is versus what type of parent you are, and y’all aren’t always going to meet eye to eye, in which it causes frustration and resentment towards one another. Y’all do need to talk about it but it seems yall are both to stressed out to do that. I wouldn’t trust him for the time being with y’alls son. If he gets frusturated with you around, imagine with you not around. Parents killing their babies is real and all it takes is one hit or shake. Please don’t be dumb enough to leave your child with him. As for you working, most states offer child care assistance. it’s a process and could take up to a year to get, but if you prove you are working or going to school , you are most likely to get it. No one can watch your baby for the time being?
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I kinda am in a similar situation with my boyfriend. It’s ppd. You need to bring it up to him and work on it. If he says he will try it’s a start. But tell him he is not going to scream at the baby. My boyfriend did that and I said what the fuck are you helping? He’s obviously upset about something, try to help him. I try to take care of the baby overnight and let him rest but i need help sometimes. Just sit down and have a heart to heart.
If he’s the only one working, I actually agree that you should be pulling most of the duties around the house. However, he can still help with the baby when he’s there.
Unpopular opinion, but if you leave him, then what? You don’t have a job, so who will pay the bills or provide for your child? I would make sure you have that figured out first. Just my opinion though.
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