I am a single mother of 2. I’ve been seeing this guy for 2 years now. He is great with my kids and supports us financially and very involved in my children’s care day to day. But we been having one same issue all the time. Boys night out drinking and coming home 4-5am and came home the next day (once) he did keep in contact with me the night he stayed out all night n came home next day. A week ago he went out n came home n I noticed a lipstick mark on his ear. It wasn’t full lips , half n smudge (I should’ve taken a photo of it) when I told him he rubbed it off saying it was prob blood because him n the boys were wrestling n he probably had a cut. He came home early 12 midnight that night. Since that incident I just don’t trust him anymore and I don’t want to feel like this it’s the worst feeling. I just don’t know what to do? My plan would be just keep on checking for signs n unusual behaviour? I don’t know what to do and I need advice. Please help.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My boyfriend of two years came home with lipstick on his ear
If there is no trust then there is no relationship…
Time to move along,not longterm material
Dang that really sucks. I’d say if you trusted him before…and don’t now…go with your gut instinct. Sit him down and have a conversation with him. Ask him to tell you the truth but be ready for his response.
You’re not supposed to have to play detective in your relationship. If you can’t trust him, it’s time for him to go.
A man can be an amazing spouse, an amazing provider, supportive in every single way you can imagine, but if the trust is gone, so is the relationship.
You already know what you have to do. Your heart is in the way. Financial support isn’t worth your soul bleeding.
Spy on him to confirm facts
Couples counseling if you want to work on trust and communication.
You know !!!
Now you just have to decide if you are going to put up with it ….
No one can answer that question but you
If anyone is constantly going out and acting single, they wish they were single… A family man wouldn’t move that way.
If you can’t trust him don’t be with him.
Sounds like you already know. Be strong for yourself and kids, you all deserve better.
You said yourself, “I don’t trust him.” You’ve already decided, move on.
Look we can all go out doesn’t mean to say you are going to get off with someone though we can all flirt have a laugh some girl mite have just said hello and kissed him on side of face ,if you suspect him like this you need proof if you think he’s cheating .if you really don’t trust him you both need to talk propaly talk
I wouldn’t believe it and what kind of straight grown men would be wrestling after a drinking night out? Weird
He may have just hugged a woman hello… has he shown any other signs?
Trust gut always. If there is any doubts your gut feeling is the right feeling.
Talk to him…this may be innocent. The way some women have so much makeup on. She may have learned in to flirt with him and he sent her on her way. Men are oblivious, he probably doesn’t even remember. She may or may not have done it on purpose. There are so many variables to go straight to cheating
Nope! I dont tolerate bullshit! He has to go! You will be happier without someone who is going cheat and disrespect you like that… learn to be happy alone!
Your gut knows what is going in. Leave
Trust that gut feeling. It never lies
Lipstick doesn’t just show up
Trust your gut and really fishy he came home with lipstick on him. Red flag I’d honestly talk to him before assuming anything but if it’s been problems I’d just trust my gut
Could of someone just gave him a hug and kiss like a friendly how have u been?
Going out all the time is not what a man with a family should do.
Idk sounds like he just got rowdy and wrestled with the homies:eggplant:
talk to him…you are probably right but it isnt just you involved…you have to consider the children…
If there is other signs decide if it’s worth to stay as most generally men will deny it.
If that’s the only place he had it, you’re good.
Since u can’t trust him then it’s time to leave.
Hes opening a foothold for the devil. Go to couples counciling.
I wouldn’t trust him! Go by your gut instinct!
I would not leave my children with him since you Really don’t know him!!
You need to leave. Period don’t do that to yourself or your children.
Since he supports you financially, you better get to work and move out.
Beware of the example you are setting for your children. He is not the father of the children ? If they see you “ crap-fitting” this relationship- trying to create a healthy home for your kids with someone who isn’t capable of it, they will learn to “settle”. The treatment you are receiving from him a situation you’d be happy to see your kids recreate in their relationships?
Please explain how you’re a single mom if you live with a man who financially takes care of your kids AND is active in their day to day life?
If you want to stay with him let it go and put on your sexy girl face and give him a reason to stay home you want out go full banshee those your only choices be sure to keep your dignity and choose wisely
If you have been with someone for 2 years you are not a single mum
Ask him directly. If he admits cheating then you have your answer. If he says he isn’t and you still don’t trust him then you have your answer.
Your gut is telling you something is off for a reason. He’s given you indirect reasons to mistrust him by his previous behavior.
You already know what’s going on. No need to ask. Not only is your gut telling you, you have seen the proof and are in denial. Get out before you catch something from him.
you don’t trust him anymore & you don’t know what to do??? Read what you wrote
Some girl might have like tripped on him or tried to get at him and he just doesn’t want to upset you? I hope it’s something simple like that. If it is he’s about to learn real quick it’s better to tell the truth.
You’re not a single mom if he’s been with you 2 years and financially supports you all. That aside, he’s keeping in touch with you. He’s supporting you and two kids that are apparently not yours. Let him have guys time. If he was at a club or bar, things can get weird…it was probably accidental.
Go with your gut. It’s not blood don’t be a fool
Ear is a really weird place unless you had a reason to not trust him that could be something like someone getting to close to tell him something at the bar etc. Cheating in my experience they wouldn’t be keeping in touch with you all night
Is he your committed boyfriend or you’re seeing him ? The wording is confusing . Do you live together ?
Ask him outright. Or ask to see his phone. If he has nothing to hide, it won’t be a big deal. Hoping the best for you and yours~
First off, why are you saying you are a single mom if you have someone in your life helping with your kids and home? That’s a relationship, especially after 2 years lol. I would be offended if my SO said they were single while we were dating.
In your case it’s all up to you at this point. If you aren’t sure I would see if anything else happened. OR you could have an adult conversation about the lipstick and see how that goes. Honestly though if you can’t trust him, why bother? You’ll end up resenting him and he will end up resenting you as long as you keep it inside. Not to mention the children who are clearly attached to him considering he’s so good with them and it’s been 2 years.
What do you want to do? I’m sorry at a certain point if you are in a committed relationship acting like a parent then you don’t need all night boys nights. That’s immature and should be unnecessary. If you are not ok with it and he does it anyway than you decide what you want to do. You aren’t his mom or his wife and if you feel he’s acting disrespectful and he doesn’t care . Do you have the self respect to be done with it? Two years is a lot of being mistreated. If that’s your only complaint try talking about your concerns and even counseling. It’s not good feeling like your partner is doing crazy dumb stuff but he is coming home to you. Have there been other situations where you are like he’s cheating on me? Talk it out , be honest try counseling and if it doesn’t change bothers you end it. Those are the choices work through it somehow , ignore it or be done with it .
Hooo boy, if he came in with red on his ear, you let him leave, with that red on his ear.
Everyone quick to wanna split people up it honestly could be just a women got to close to talk at the bar or he saw a friend and hugged her out of being nice I’ve gotten my friends makeup on me by being to close does that mean I’m sleeping with them or could’ve been blood my bf has come come with black and blues from play fighting guys are strange sometimes you have said you have no other reason but this so if one incident makes you lose trust it isn’t a relationship that’s gonna work out I hope things do work out but sometimes we women can take something as simple as a smell or makeup on an ear can cause a fight where it might not be needed to him rubbing it off might just be an oh ok thanks for telling me not that your assuming something about it unless you straight up accused him and he started acting fishy about it he might’ve just not known it was there honestly if he was cheating I don’t think he’d keep in contact with you on nights out and would be coming home back to you as well but I guess everyone’s different
Sounds like you are looking for things to get you out of the relationship. Just leave if your not happy.
If you don’t feel you can trust him then leave. Otherwise try and work it out and trust him. Those are you’re only options.
Sounds like strip clubs and lap dances for the lipstick.
Ashley Jones bout to “wrestle my boys” tonight! #StoneColdStunner
He’s cheating… no reason to stay out all night.
Run! Get out as soon as possible.
No trust no relationship
Your own worst enemy can be yourself!!!. Aint nobody wants to feel trapped or controlled man or woman
I tell my man all the time. And i quote " Dont do me any favors"
Definitely a dirt bag any guy who stays out past closing time is doing on thing and one thing only running around with another girl drop him like a bad habit your gut is absolutely right do not question that seriously !!! Do not !!! He’s not seeing just you and sleeping with just you and he’s not gonna change honey not for a very very long time at least or he would have been straight up honestly from the start he’s gonna lie try to trick you if that doesn’t work he gonna butter you up then call you crazy and then try and change the topic get out and stay away from him before you end up with more then a broken heart ps strip clubs are nasty ass places !! you can always find at least one girl who’s sleeping with the guys for cheap so don’t call that harmless either
I literally just watched this thing where this chick went around putting lipstick kisses on all these random guys shirts and they didn’t really even notice.
I’d be sus aswel but after seeing that video hmmmm
Without communication or trust there is no relationship
So he’s your boyfriend? But you’re a single mum of two? But have been seeing him for 2 years? OK.
Firstly, follow your gut. Communicate your concerns with him, hear him out. If you still don’t trust him, well there’s no hope for a relationship. Trust is everything.
Stalk him get proof then leave
How do you actually know it was lipstick though that’s my main question. As for the Boys night out if it’s not a frequent thing and he is there more times than not it shouldn’t be an issue he wants to hangout with his friends coming back at 4-5 am isn’t overly weird most bars close at 2am and then most people get food afterwards so you gotta count for long line ups of drunks as well as time to eat. I wouldn’t necessarily jump to conclusions that it was indeed lipstick unless you can say for 100% sure that’s exactly what it was
Blood and lipstick look different…. If you can’t trust him leave
What do your instincta say. It could be just a hug… talk to him. Talk talk talk. Tell him the out all night thing is not working for you. If he loves you he will make adjustments.
Ok, I don’t know your man or his personality, so I am going based off of my husband and his friend for two scenarios…. If it was my husband, he probably hugged a woman and that woman rubbed across his ear with their hoochie mama lipstick and it rubbed off on his ear. (My husband is very friendly but I know he would never cheat on me.) Now, if it was my husbands friend, that is probably the girl his friend is cheating on his woman with. So, depending on past behavior, or his past relationships, it could be one of two things. It could be totally innocent or he could be cheating… so that’s up to you since I don’t know him.
Make plans to leave. And take care of your girls without him. Especially if he isn’t their father, I left my exhusband who was the father to all my kids and I opted to stay in my moms spare bedroom with them as I got a job and got on my feet. It was awful. But it needed to be done. Do not stay because it will just keep happening. Imagine if he was with someone and caught something and then gave it to you? He already doesn’t have respect for you. Trust me, leave.
Sorry dear, when men in a committed relationship need a night out with the boys, it’s long time to show them the door and tell them see ya later alligator don’t let hit you on the way out:bangbang: It’s past time to put your little one in child care, get a job and support them and yourself. Give God time to bring you the right man. God Bless you dear.
Talk to him ? Ask him what he does on guys nights… do you have girls nights ? Where he watches the kids and you go out til 4-5am ? Just ask him if he’d appreciate it if you went out as often as him and didn’t come home until early morning. Then ask if he can come home before that from now on. Ask him about the lipstick. Lipstick and blood look completely different.
Call me crazy but why does he have to go out every week? Why not have a family night every other week or so, and since there’s obviously women that’s attending these nights, why does he not take you ? Then you will know it’s your lipstick on his face/ear.
If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, it’s a duck honey. Dried blood does not just wipe off. But lipstick does. Follow your gut
Meh - lipstick on the ear is evident of a hug - I really wouldn’t care but that’s me.
If you don’t feel like you can trust him he is not worth the heartache he is going to bring to you. You deserve better,tell yourself that and get put. Save your own heart. There are decent men in the world(somewhere) who won’t ever make you question their faithfulness because you are valuable to them.
Sounds like he isn’t ready to be a full time husband and dad … don’t force it … he isn’t the father of ur child and he may have changed his mind … and maybe it wasn’t lipstick who knows …
Follow your gut. I spend over 5yrs with someone who did this…trying my hardest, we had 3 kids together and after all that it still ended because the trust just wasn’t there. Have a real conversation with yourself then with him. Then be strong enough to do what you need to do
keep pic on phone - talk to him a lot about this but don’t yell at him - just have a normal talk with him and u may never know he just may confess to you about what happened that night if anything! does he honestly “LOVE U AND KIDS” if he does i thing he will change and also u can look for some differences in him , if thing get way to out of hand - either u leave depending on whom the apt/house name is in ! if it is both your names and u are not comfortable living there with him any more - find yourself a place where u can move to !
Just ask… could be a reasonable explanation
this doesnt seem to be too bad–my grandma leaves smooch marks on everyone’s face after seeing them for a second. like, quit kissing people on the cheek–we aint in Greece anymore yia yia! if he was trying to hide something, he would of checked himself before coming home–and if he isnt that smart to even do that, then you have it easy lol. however, i assume you guys are kind of young (?) eventually all his “boy friends” are going to have their own families and kids and then he will be the one regretting not staying home and doing the right thing for his lady when they all decide to stay home–but there you will be–secure with yourself.
He probably went to a strip club and didn’t want you flipping out about it. But honestly if he knew you didn’t like it he shouldn’t have gone but that’s a other conversation
So many women jump so fast to say leave, he’s a cheater, etc. Spending time with friends should not be an issue as it is healthy. People who say he should not be spending time with friends are so wrong. Having no sense of individuality in a relationship is extremely unhealthy.
For the problem at hand it is completely reasonable that someone gave him a hug or a kiss on the cheek hello.
If there are no other issues and he is a good man I would give him the benefit of the doubt. You know your man better than any of the women commenting on this post.
Let me clarify something… you are not a single mother of two. The correct wording would be a mother of two and your boyfriend is not your children’s father. BIG difference. You aren’t single anything if you have a boyfriend. As for the behaviors, it very well could have been blood if you didn’t see it in bright enough light. My advice, keep on the look out and don’t jump to conclusions. Set boundaries with him. Give him a reasonable time he needs to be home. If he doesn’t agree to that, then you will have your answer.
Mine came home with perfume on him…and a fake nail in his truck…that she lost…we ended in divorce…blood turns brown…but lipstick stays red…
Sounds to me he still wants the freedom and the single life yes it’s okay to do things but every night and not coming home is different
Trust your gut! It will never lie to you!
Red flags him being out all night and coming home the next day. That is enough for you to have already been looking for jobs or a way to support you and your girls
Maybe he’s gay and his guy friend wears lipstick…
Umm…. GIRLZ NIGHT OUT!!!
Leave him periodttttttt…don’t stick around
Kicc him 2 that curb
Sweetie it’s time to say goodbye. He will not stop. An all nighter with the boys spells trouble. I believed my husband, or at least wanted to, and he definately was cheating. It was hard but I finally divorced him after 13 years of him going out with the boys. We women have a tendency to stick our heads in the sand and think if we love them enough it will get better. You will make that decision when you have had enough. You children are watching:sleepy:
Just giving my experience me and my ex used to go out often and girls would try to dance on him and kiss on him while we were out so tbh he may not have dome anything and they could’ve tried to kiss on him I wouldn’t do anything just yet without actual solid proof
When he gets home act like u wanna do it with him and see if he is reluctant before he takes a.shower. and if he likes to go out w the boys and get out of hand and not of being loyal then that needs to stop. Or see ya.
The problem is the attachment to the kids, so whatever you do make sure it doesn’t affect the kids and avoid exposing them to different Men,the dad,him then the next so just trade with caution
Why do people say they’re single parents when they have partners? Your boyfriend supports you financially and emotionally therefore you’re not a single parent, especially after 2 years
Ever see the video of that girl in a car, kissing men without their knowledge? Mayn’t something like that happened?
Why u still with him ?
That’s my only question