I would like to get some advice. Backstory (short version): dealt with a lot of abuse during my childhood, one such thing that happened a lot was my brothers thought it was funny to pull a sheet/blanket over my head & sit on top of me (usually happened when I was in my room, reading in my bed). This doesn’t sound like a big deal, but it is when you are claustrophobic & your brothers took delight in you having a legit panic attack almost every time. That being said; tonight bf held the blanket over my head, acting like he was going to put it over me, he didn’t stop until I started crying & then proceeded to get mad at me saying that I always treat him like he is other people. I feel like he shouldn’t have gotten so upset with me when he knows the story already. Thoughts?
Is he gaslighting you? Does he do stuff like that often?
Indeed he should have been empathetic. But also gauge is he empathetic other times say out of 10 how many times?
Since it’s our journey with abuse sometimes other do not understand the intensity of trigger damage. Do not be impulsive, I totally get the panic attack such incidents cause , yet see the whole scenario in totality. I do not justify his act.
Dude sounds like a terrorist. I would be angry about it too.
He’s being selfish and making it about him. He obviously does not understand trauma and how it affects us, or how it manifests later in life.
Totally not ok especially if he knows your history. Tell him to grow the fuck up and not be a asshole.
Uhm. If he knows that triggers you, whether it seems silly to someone or not…its not okay. And a real man that cared about you, would NOT have done that. That’s not okay. At all.
He shouldn’t have done that. Could he have forgot? I’m not sticking up for him but just asking. I hope you were able to find a place to relax after and get in a better headspace. I’m sorry he did that 
the abuse will only get worse. find a different guy]
If he knows that then he is an ass for doing it!
I think you need to have a serious discussion with him and let him know how serious this is for you, and that he cannot do that.
Jerk! Narcissists behavior 4 sure
Knowing it’s a trigger
…doing it anyways till u cry then getting mad at u saying u treat him like he is other people
Then why act like u are “other people” asshole.
As someone who has been abused. One thing I have learned is some people just cannot grasp things that they have not experienced. Either way he should still be sensitive to your feelings. Has he said anything since.
have a good talk to him, if he can’t get that it really scares you and he keeps doing it, you should leave him. he’s toxic if he won’t listen and stop what frightens you
That’s a big red flag, he thinks it’s ok to tramatize you and then he plays the victim, it’s just a short jump to him abusing you. I was with a guy like that, it started just like that after 3 years it was full out abuse but it was my fault because I was suppose to know what triggers him and not do it. Get out now.
He is a shit for being so insensitive
If he had simply forgotten this trigger and immediately apologized and tried to comfort you then I would say it was a mistake and to cut him some slack. This sounds very much intentional and you should be upset. My advice either set some serious hard limit boundaries or get out of this relationship now.
Shoulda just punched the prick in the throat 
He’s sick and abusive, need to dump
He knew exactly what he was doing, I too went through some things during my childhood and still to this day cannot handle certain rough playing ,some things trigger me and automatically make me cry and my husband is very much understanding.that man should not be making you feel like you are treating him like others, he should be supportive and not make it about him!!!you deserved love and support the most in that moment,he doesn’t deserve you !
Bery childish on his part!
I think the question you need to ask yourself is why would a grown ass man intentionally do something like that to hurt you?
Tell him no more maybe he thinks it is funny. I think he’s a immature , made a mistake maybe, but let him know you will
not tolerate this …EVER
There is nothing funny about it. If you said stop he should’ve immediately stopped. Does he understand that you could’ve pressed charges for attempted strangulation?
Gaslighting for sure. Dump him
If he can’t understand that you have PTSD and isn’t willing to work around it to make you comfortable, time to say bye bye.
Not saying he’s abusive. I have no idea. Perhaps when he got mad at you he was embarrassed and being defensive instead of owning his mistake? Idk. I will say this, though:
People who grew up being abused are both drawn to abusive relationships and targeted by abusers. So… watch your choices. If you tell him in no uncertain terms he crossed a line, and he can’t apologize and never cross your lines again (if he wants to make it about himself instead), then perhaps you’ve made a poor choice and you should move on.
If that’s the case, you know it’s time to stop dating and maybe seek help to determine how to choose an appropriate partner before trying again.
ur boyfriend is an asshole.
I mean if he don’t have any other signs of abuse maybe that is just his way of playing around. Maybe the Dutch oven. Lmfao. But I understand where you are coming from you guys need to talk and comprehend each other. Maybe look into some therapy for yourself to ease your mind.
Run and don’t look back
Maybe he shouldn’t ACT like other people then! People that have clearly traumatized you. Honestly that’s narcissistic behavior!
Sounds like he was picking an argument. He knew what you been though and did that exact thing. Dickwad move to me 
I feel like you should find out what one of his fears is and do it back. Then blame him.
Leave him, he purposely tried to upset you and to scare you. He knows what you’ve been through and him doing that was cruel.
Not funny at all! I had some pretty traumatizing events happen as a child and my husband would never do anything to trigger me. That is a kind of abuse and not to be taken lightly! Nobody should think you suffering is amusing! That is beyond cruel. I’d leave! You deserve way better than that!
God I’d slap my boyfriends if he ever did that to me. No safety of the person with the cover or sheet on me. I b very upset.
sounds like a jerk no means no.
It is real he can’t do it
Punch him in the balls
The man is an idiot… Leave him behind and move on
I don’t get why someone laughed at this post… smh.
HE put the blanket over your head. Can’t deny that it was him and not someone else. You are ALOUD to set limits on things that make you uncomfortable. He is the one who lacks respect for you. Any man who tries to justify misstreating you isn’t worth your time!!! HE DOESN’T DESERVE YOU. GO GET YOURSELF A MAN READY TO LOVE AND RESPECT YOU FOR WHO YOU ARE!!!
No he shouldn’t do things like that to you knowing what happened in your childhood
Can you say RED FLAGS here?? Run & dont look back…
Get out of this relationship. Fast!!
Sounds like he’s a dick! It will escalate and he’ll always blame you. Leave! Quick
Get rid of boyfriend, what a heartless arsole.!!!
When he stands over you kick him in his balls and then repeat his words verbatim
thats very much a narcissist type behavior… sit down with him and explain to him AGAIN why you have issues with it… if he cant understand that then you have a choice to make…
I don’t get why a boyfriend would hold a blanket over your head period. That’s horrid even if you aren’t terrified of it. He did it on purpose then guilt tripped you. Lea s him
Alyssa Elaine Robertson and William Ashley Wolfe youre both sad for laughing at this…
That’s disgusting and abusive, he knows it triggers you and he used that to get a reaction, and it works he then blamed you…NO HUNNY he is like the other people AN ABUSER
Nope, nope, nope. THIS IS NOT OK! he shouldn’t get upset either saying you treat him like other people. He is suppose to be your safe place!
He KNEW that would upset u and did it anyway. I’d show him the door right fast. I mean, my husband has done stupid shit that set me into a panic attack, but they felt right bad and did everything he could to make it up to me. Your guy seems like an asshole if he got mad at you for reacting.
Maybe don’t “treat him like other people” and punch him in the face next time. He assaulted you, that’s abuse.
Leave and get a protection from abuse order
Sounds like he has fun making you upset.
He knows it triggers you and he still acted out and then tries to gaslight you for being upset. He is toxic and I would leave, you deserve better.
That’s mental abuse. If someone really cares about you they don’t use past trauma as a joke. I would flip my shit if a guy treated me that way. Throw away the whole boyfriend.
You treat him like other people because he is acting like other people. He knows it triggers you. Stand your ground. My bf did something like that to me. Not only did I btch him out I told him if he ever did it again I would punch him. He thinks it is funny. It is not. That’s just plain disrespectful. Someone who loves you does not disrespect you. Btw my bf has never done it again.
Don’t let anyone bully you and I’m claustrophobic too and no way let myself be treated bad😠he needs to care😙
Hes an asshole
Hes got to go
My thoughts are that you should leave him. He knows about your past and did this anyway. What kind of jerk would do that? Oh…your boyfriend. Run far away.
It was his version of a “trust” exercise, I mean you said it all in the post, in his response… “you always treat me like I’m other people”… so clear to me he was saying, I’m not other people, I wouldn’t hurt you, you need to trust me and let me help you move past your trauma. Maybe, I am just really good at communication and psychology 
Punch the asshole in the face and say how do you like that then walk out
He is sadistic son of a bitch, testing you how quickly to see you react with your fears, no respect for someone who does that to a person he supposedly loves … walk away cos he will keep on doing this to you
This would be a breaking it off message for me. Definitely, do not share this info with your next BF. Don’t give others the tools to do you harm.
thats breaching your trust in him trying to help you overcome is a joke
He’s a prick. Simple.
I guess I’ll be the minority and say he probably doesn’t understand why it triggers you. I’ll say it from a point of view (and I am seriously NOT intending this to sound mean) from the person who doesn’t understand claustrophobia, it’s not a big deal. It’s a joke to most friends and couples to pull the covers over someone’s head ( and when you fart and pull it over their head it’s called a Dutch oven lol). He probably meant it more as a trust exercise, in his head he wouldn’t hurt you, so he won’t understand the gravity of how you feel.
I’m sure you’ve told him the story of your brothers but if he says something like “you always treat me like other people” you either have more triggers and go off a lot like this and he’s growing tired of walking on eggshells or he’s truly doesn’t understand why this specific thing is just too far for you. You have a right to feel how you feel and you shouldn’t be out in positions that make you so uncomfortable like this. Perhaps you guys just aren’t meant to be or you need to sit down and figure out why your triggers trigger him and if you can both come to a common ground on what is acceptable and what is just too far.
He wanted to see what would happen if he did it then got mad at you because you reacted like you didn’t trust him trying to turn it around on you he should never have went there with you now you’re not going to be able to trust him let him know now I don’t trust you you took advantage of my weakness are my fear let him go honey especially since he got mad at you this shows he doesn’t really really care
THAT IS NOT OK! Huge red flag Hun. Let him go.
You said it in your first few sentences …abuse. abuse is abuse not matter the form it comes in. He knew exactly what he was doing. Then turned it on you. Perfect example of narcissistic behavoir. Forget trust exercises…trust is built up on time, not by putting blankets over heads of people you care about. I was raped in my 20s and it took me a long time to over come it. Even after I thought I had and got married…one time I still panicked during sex and flash backs are hell. My ex hubby understood and just let me cry and apologize. He didn’t keep going thinking I’d just “get over it”. Trust is earned and built, not forced like in her situation. Move on girl and find someone worth trusting.
The precursor to abuse…there it is.
It’s a bullying tactic, he’s not going to stop, leave him!!
You are right to be angry. He is an abuser. Dont allow it. He does it again kick him in the nuts. Say but I’m only playing
He was absolutely wrong. Anyone who plays on another person’s fears is not a good person. I’m sorry you were made to feel that way.
Run as fast as you can away from this abuser! People who love you will not use a trauma to terrorize you. He’s not worth your love or friendship. Pray and ask God to show you the loving man you deserve.
This is a form of gaslighting, a narcissistic technique. I would run for the hills.
If he truly loved you he would never ever have put you in a position of fear FOR ANY REASON, ESPECIALLY IF HE KNEW YOUR PAST!!! That’s an abusive behavior in and of itself A HUGE RED FLAG
Punch him in the nuts!
You’re totally right, he shouldn’t have gotten upset. That is actually worse, cause it makes you feel the issue is your fault and it’s not right. I would have a talk with him and let him know how serious of an issue this is. Doesn’t matter if he sees it as a funny thing, he needs to respect your boundaries. He needs to be more understanding and learn how he can help you.
He sounds like an ass. Get rid of him! Especially after knowing how upset you were he turned it around on you instead of apologizing. Doesn’t sound like a person who truly cares or deserves you. Good luck sweetie. Xo
Kick him to the Curb he is being abusive and it will only get worse
He is abusive boyfriend
Get rid of him.
I dated a girl with a phobia. A real man will not “play” on that phobia. He will do whatever it takes to avoid triggering the fear.
He prob doesnt realize he is being insensitive. And might not have meant any harm to you but having said that m once you explained that you were traumatized . he should have apologised and been supportive . if he is going to be such a waaa blaa and down play your fears then show him the door . dont let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya . by by now
He is only just a boyfriend right now, get rid of him. A lot easier to get him out of your life as a boyfriend than after he becomes your husband. What he did was wrong, not funny at all.
Sorry
And these fears I go thru sometimes
Pls find a better human who understands u .
Well he is other people and acted like it!! He did not take what you’ve been through seriously. Hope he doesn’t gas light you all the time.
If he’ll do it once knowing your prior history of being traumatized by that, he will do it again, or something else just as bad or worse. Let this boy go and find a man instead.
Get rid of him. Your guy has to be caring of your feelings always.
Your boyfriend is obviously unemphatic and doesn’t understand phobias. Maybe explain that it is the object or phobia that is causing you to get upset not the person doing it. If that doesn’t work, get your self a new boyfriend.
He should know better knowing your story…he needs to act like the adult he should be not a child at play …he knows he was wrong and wants you to take the blame . If it continues I would step away from this …may or may not get worse …
He should not be your boyfriend anymore. This is a red flag, you don’t want this growing into something major after you’ve married and it’s much harder to leave and possibly involves kids.
Read up on Narcissist You might be living with one. The abuse is real. Your bf is a real jerk. You really should leave NOW. Please don’t waste any more time. You really need to seek counselling so history doesn’t repeat it self listen to these Ladies. And read read read Last January I didn’t know My mother was narcissistic and the man I married is also 35 crazy f… up years. I didn’t understand the difference between being needed verse real unconditional love😢 and don’t have his kids
Jerk get rid of him. He knew you didn’t like it and does it anyway
He just abused you like your brothers did. Get rid of him quick. It will escalate.
Get out. You mean more to you than he does
Doesn’t anyone talk to people anymore. Tell him you don’t like that and to stop. If he continues then somethings,wrong