My boyfriend spent the day with his ex on Mother's Day

Shoot I stayed up in a motel room watching my exes kid on Valentine’s day one year while he was down at the bar. Another time he dropped my daughter and I off at a gas station to go pickup his son. I look back at it now and ask myself what the hell was I thinking

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Don’t sounds good. But you set the standard on how he treats you, it sounds like he may still have feelings for her. Because you,him and the kid could have went to the zoo or him and the child.

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Oh hell no!!! You need to have a serious talk with him. Why couldn’t you both have gone? If you continue to allow things to happen that your not comfortable with it will always happen :pleading_face:

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It’s co parenting what I been trying to do for years and unfortunately he wouldn’t due to is girlfriend not allowing him to see is sons and now my children are messed up confused feel unloved by him rejected and broken so he is doing what’s right for is child far play to them thinking of the child and when you got with him you knew he had a child with someone else and have to accept he is also a father and wants to be part of the child’s life and is ex and that child will always be a team to give the child the best childhood I seen what happends when they reject and let there children down to girlfriends nor agreeing

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My thoughts are he is now your ex

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Soon you’ll be baby momma #2 so next Mother’s Day the four of you can spend it together…

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He should of took you as well. Y’all are both mothers to his children. He prioritized her over you. Yes he has a right to coparent. But the fact he didn’t bring you along was a big red flag in my opinion.

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Sweetie why did you go with him on his trip to see his son…did you only go so he wouldnt stay the night at her place…did he ask you to come with him because this us so not right to bring you along only to leave you all alone while hecwent out…the right thing to do would bring you too and then to keave you the next morning to run back over there…something sounds fishy to me…sooo not cool…you dont say how long you have been together but if he cared or loved you he woukd never have done this…this is disrepect

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On one hand I can see how spending the day with their kid at the zoo for Mother’s Day makes sense, even if she is an ex, she is the mother of his child. But… for you to not be his primary focus and for him to not spend any time with you and leave you in a hotel room is really not cool at all. And then to go back to them the next day as well is ringing huge alarm bells!!! Something is up!

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Leave, hes treating you like a t*** chick x

Don’t worry, when he gets the next woman pregnant, he will be taking you and your kid out :expressionless:

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I think he’s ducking out on you. I’d leave.

Can I ask why you ask were at a hotel? Does his child live out of town and he was visiting? That makes a huge difference IMO, because if his child lives out of town, I can understand better why he did this, however, he should have taken you along.

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It’s hard having a man that has another family. He should include you too since you’re family now. I would feel really hurt.
Maybe explain it to him like that instead with rage. I KNOW THATS THE HARDEST THING TO DO, EVEN FOR ME. If he can’t reason with logic, leave. You can find someone who will treat you better. Y’all aren’t even married and he’s treating you like this. You have options, honey! Don’t get trapped in that bs drama. You will be trapped in that dynamic for the rest of your life with him if things don’t change and y’all get married.

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If his child is very young then this is maybe how he has to spend time with them? Assume it’s some distance and that’s why you are in a hotel so maybe he is just making the most of time because he doesn’t see him much. Weird it’s over mothers’ Day though but maybe they have a good relationship. If he’s paying for the hotel get some room service and then go out and enjoy yourself to spite him.

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Honestly, him spending the time with his kid is no issue. The issue comes that he has dipped out on you for the ex leaving you alone in the hotel. I’d go back and pack all your stuff and leave him while he is still there so you have time to get everything of yours put without a problem. Go stay with a friend, relative, or at a shelter til you can get into your own place but do not go back to him. He disrespected you and if he is allowed to do it he will only continue and it will only get worse.

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Maybe I’m not understanding the whole co-parent thing in this situation. I see no reason as to why he would be spending mothers day with his ex, for me that’s traditionally either a mother child occasion or a family event if the parents are still in a relationship. Or was it his scheduled weekend? I’m really confused by this, I wouldn’t want my ex there on mothers day…unless my child requested it.
Seems weird to me

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Wtf… This doesn’t sound right at all. I mean if the child is young than I understand the little bit of distance part but if he’s going to be with you eventually he’s going to have to introduce you and the kids sister at some point so why now slowly introduce now?

Look, I am all for exes co-parenting, being respectful of one another and/or not talking about the other parent especially in front of the child. For any future relationship, it makes it so much easier if they get along and co-parent which does involve communication and being around the other person. I’ve been on both sides of this and nothing good comes from having ill feelings toward one another. You knew he had a daughter and that the mom was involved; however, I also think there should be boundaries if there are bonus moms or dads in the mix. if everything she said is true that is definitely a sign of disrespect and if it were my boyfriend, I would not be ok with this. Unfortunately, there is some missing pieces in this specific scenario. Does his son live a long ways away since you were in a hotel? How often does he get to see his son? Has anything like this happened before? Were you invited? Do you and the ex have history? What was his reasoning for going back? These are factors that I would ask before making any form of accurate opinion. The fact he left his pregnant girlfriend at a hotel is so disrespectful; however without knowing the answers to those questions above I cannot say for sure what happened and why. I will say this. If your gut is telling you something, then I would follow that advice especially before the child is born. Regardless, it is disrespectful unless her and the mom have history, among other factors. Good luck momma

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If he has a hard time misusing or misspelling words then… I get it! "“their” son! WHY ARE you in a HOTEL ROOM?

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He wants his family back now

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Shows he wants to raise his son to respect women. Don’t be so hard on him

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Also, I take it you knew he had a child with someone else before you took up with him. To me, this shows that he trying to raise his son right, trying to show his son how to treat his mother. You should be pleased he cares.

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In my opinion, it sounds like he probably doesn’t get to see his son very often based on the fact you guys needed a hotel room for it. Being kind to the mother of his child and still having that time with the two of them is so good for his son. He sounds like a good day. I get being peeved you got left in a hotel room but idk devils advocate here it sounds like he is just trying to be there for his son.

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If it was his child’s birthday, I’d understand, but Mother’s Day ! Really, I feel that’s not appropriate x

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First of all he should have just got her a mother’s day gift from his son to give to her. Second you should have been the.priorty on mothersday since you are pregnant. Doesn’t matter that baby is still cooking. You should have been priority. Thirdly if he’s choosing g to go back to her a second second time, it’s either for sex or something else?? I’d kick him to the curb and find a shelter where they can help you get back on your feet

Me and my partner have always said if we split then no alternative partners are introduced to our kids until a lengthy time has passed and we feel its the right time. Maybe he wanted to spend time with his child? You sound bitter because you wasn’t invited.

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Lmfao yeah I’d be gone fast. Him spending time with his child isn’t an issue. The issue lays with him leaving you out of the picture and adding her in. She is an ex for a reason. While yes she is his child’s mother and he should buy her a present from the child and be respectful, he shouldn’t be ditching his current to hang out with the past.

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I would be upset. I understand coparenting but they could have went to the zoo on another day.

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Don’t dump him. Ask him about how they want to co-parent and how you guys will parent together. Be the bigger person in all this and try to figure out how to make it all work and what you will/won’t tolerate so you can have boundaries that everyone can respect. You’ve got to expect that his ex and child will be around so take a little time to figure it all out :slight_smile: then you can at least say you tried everything you could if for what ever reason it doesn’t pan out in future.

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My thought is that it’s in your best interest to be careful and be alert. It would be a good idea, I think, if you had a conversation about feelings about this for both of you. If you let it go, you may be back at this again. Sometimes, disrespecting may not matter to the other party, but some may also view lack of communication about it as if it didn’t/doesn’t matter. In turn, the other may interpret that as if it’s ok since one is allowing it by simply letting it go. This situation as presented seems off to me. Unless there’s a court order for visitation on only specific days, I can’t come up with any reason as to why it had to be on that particular day. The son is special and parents remaining on good terms would be good for the child, but does it mean so much time in one day while you’re in a hotel? If that’s what they both want, they may end up considering getting back together and it would be wise to guard your heart. Yeah, some guys may have exes they may still be interested and vice-versa. I am older lady now, but my brother and I were children of divorce. Once my mother decided to move us to another state from him, he would travel to visit us. Well, let’s just say he must have been intending on visiting with our mother also. We were still young (8 & 9) so what did we know? Even in front of us kids, he was forever trying to steal a kiss from her and she would push him away. So, know what you want and if you will be together, see if you can get a handle on it sooner rather than later. Good luck!

Get a dna test and his name on the birth certificate for you baby so you can get child support. This is not going to end well.

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I spent mother’s day with my ex husband. It’s called co-parenting.
It’s not all about you.
Weird people get involved with people who have kids and then act this way.

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It’s mothers day so why does the ex man need to spend it with the child and mother? Why can’t the mother spend it with her child

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Feel like we need more details because why do u have a hotel room? If he never get to see his son I get why he would be there all the time

U should have been invited to go with is my feelings…

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Idk… The fact that you’re in a hotel tells me he either lives out of state or at least far enough away that a hotel is needed. Usually when that is the case the non custodial parent really doesn’t get a lot of time with their kiddos. If he never gets to see him, I can understand why he wants to be there constantly. And I refuse to let my kids meet anyone I date until we hit the 1 year mark and I know it’s serious. It saves the kids from unneeded heartache. Maybe he is doing the same?

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Leave… Simple. Dont wait it only gets harder

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Yall selfish…he put the needs of his child before you…get over it

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He would’ve came back to a empty hotel room

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Leave his ass and let him stay in that direction he keeps going you don’t need that stress and hurt sorry you are going though it

Go home🤷‍♀️ do not wait for him to come back

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You are the side chick

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Sounds like he’s a good father and respectable man to the mother of his child

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Ex baby mama? If they have a child she is his child’s mother and it is entirely appropriate for them to spend the day together. However you being left behind concerns me. Does she know about you or the baby? That would be my first question. If he was any kind of man he would have brought you too or found a way to split the day and make you feel special too. I’m sorry this happened you deserve better

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He spent time with the woman he truly loves

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He should have brought you too. Plus your pregnant with his bub! Your a mother too! Your both deserving of mothers day attention and it’s wrong that he left you out. Not good at all. Xx

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I know you are pregnant but she has already had his baby so maybe he doesn’t see you as a mother just yet. I know that sounds kinda mean but that’s how I’m seeing it.

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I don’t have all the facts here like if he doesn’t get to see his kid often…

Regardless he should have talked to you- or you should have been invited… is there a lot of drama there?
You are also a mother of his child- and you should have been included especially because even if y’all havent been together that long- the baby is his kids sister so i think the whole waiting to be around his other kid is null and void.

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Screw that! Yes they have a child together but it was Mothers Day not Fathers Day. I bet she doesn’t even know about you. The fact that you are waiting in a hotel room is crap. You are already putting your unborn baby and yourself through too much bullshit already…

You don’t want that kinda disrespect in your life

You don’t need that kinda stress too. Since you’re a pregnant. You’re a mother too. If that was me, he’ll come back to an empty hotel. Unacceptable

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What are your thoughts. Doesn’t matter what we think. Is he worth it. Or is he worthy of you? You decide.

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Naw bro Mother’s Day is her day to celebrate not them celebrate together that do t make no damn sense straight up ask him wha tf he’s doing that’s not normal behavior

Tell him good bye.
If he spent all day with her and took his son to the zoo the day before then there’s no excuse or reason that he needed to be there on mother’s day.
I’m so sorry you had to go through that.

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Leave him and next year he will spend the weekend with you

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runnnn hes not over her so move on

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Need more info here :thinking: feel like you’re keeping something from us…. Why y’all in a hotel room? We’re you invited? Did you ask to go? Do you and his child’s mother have a good relationship? Do you have a relationship with his child? I have lost of questions

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Sounds like you live away from his child if you are in a motel. Maybe he was making good use of his limited time there. You sound very whiney and didn’t reveal full story.

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They are still very much involved romantically

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Girl your child isn’t here yet. Let that man spend time with his child. The jealous is crazy with new moms

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Maybe he realized that even though him and his baby mama aren’t together, he still has an example to set for his son on how to treat and respect his mother.

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Show him the door :door: he is a jerk now imagine in the near future :rage:
Do this for you and your child

I think life is hard enough for you to sound the way you do. See, what you failed to mention was how much he pays in child support and still doesn’t get to see his kid. Then theres you whining on the sideline about how your BF doesn’t neglect his children enough for you. Granted, the other baby-momma likely planned it that way but thats the reality of which you all live in. Just be quiet and be thankful you have anyone around who at least pretends they care about you. And try to be mindful of others in this world, you’re not the only one in this world so stop acting like everythings all about you.

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I need to know more. Why are you in a hotel room? Was he visiting his child because he lives far away and you went with? You sure it isn’t about spending time with his child and not his ex? Was there a domestic reason you weren’t allowed to go with? Not enough of the story to draw a conclusion here for me.

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He couldn’t get her a card and call it a day?

Why couldn’t you two take him to the zoo? Or the 3 of you. If you all will be parenting and co parenting? You should have been involved. Sounds suspicious :triangular_flag_on_post:

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Sounds like he misses his family to me :tipping_hand_woman:

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First of all if your living in a hotel room , you have bigger things to worry about! Second teaching your children that no matter weather you are together or apart you are there for them is more important. You may want to rethink why your are in this relationship if u can’t trust him

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He does have a child with her so he has to respect her as his baby mum and so do you! Why does all off a sudden he has to be cheating because he spent time with his baby mum?

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So many “independent women who don’t need no man” types in these comments :joy::joy:

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How old is the child? Did/does he support the child, now? How long after he left her…. Did you get pregnant?
I’d leave the guy and make a good life for myself and my child. Of course it’s a lot easier to see this now I’m 66. Lol
Best of luck in your decisions

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My opinion you should’ve been invited… unless you were and didn’t feel comfortable going maybe that’s your problem I guess

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I can understand wanting to be able to have a nice coparent relationship BUT I’m just getting :triangular_flag_on_post: :triangular_flag_on_post: :triangular_flag_on_post:. You should’ve at least been invited to the Zoo especially considering you’re pregnant with his daughter. I would have a conversation with him and if he gets weird or defensive, I’d peace out :v:t2:

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Dude she said he left her in a hotel room and yall jump to “you’re living in a hotel you have bigger problems” like where is that even coming from and yes super suspicious cuz if yall supposed to co parent, you should have atleast been part of the zoo trip with his other child who is your child’s sibling. Sorry maam thats shady asf. You need to call him out about that and at this point, you should probably leave and get your papers ready for child support when baby is here. I’d find that suspicious.

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There just isn’t enough to go on to really say anything without assuming XY or Z happened. I get why you would feel like that because you are pregnant but spending time with his son should definitely be a priority, and something to be admired rather than be insecure or jealous about. You knew he had a child (which includes a baby mom) when you got with him. Spending time with his other child should have been a given. When you have your daughter he will have to split time between the two kids I hope you realize that.

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Hell no. Ive been seperated from my son’s dad for ten years and we’ve never spent mother’s day together.

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My fiancé used to do stuff like this until I left him cause it got weird and it took me to leave him for him to realize that I wasn’t putting up with it anymore. It’s one thing to have a good co parent relationship but it’s weird when baby mom and baby dad hang out when they are both in other relationships. They separated for a reason I thought. I grew up with divorced parents and when I was with my dad, I would do things with him and my step mom and when I was with my mom I’d do things with her and my step dad. It didn’t bother me at all. It gave me more people that loved me anyways! I also think it gives false hope to the kid about the parents getting back together. It did for my step daughter at least. It caused turmoil for her and she wanted me out. Now that this doesn’t happen anymore, me and my step daughter have a better relationship. I mean at the very least…they could’ve invited you.

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Run! he sounds like the piece of shit my daughter had a kid with. That piece of crap didn’t even text her a happy mother’s day till Tuesday. But we bet his new whatever got a happy step mom day out of him. Get the hell away from him where he can’t find you and the baby, you’ll be better off.

Walk away that’s horrible

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Why didn’t you go to zoo with them? If not invited then I’d be upset

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Well, what are your thoughts. Are you ok with it or not

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He’s a player red flag red flag

You need to leave him.

Run away. He’s still in love with her

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The fact that you were not invited is what’s concerning. Have a serious talk and then sit down and really think about your future. You have some decisions to make.

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I would check out of the motel room and go home…

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Yall, going to the zoo with your child n your ex is not cheating. I tell my kids dad’s it’s important that they see we can and are willing to co-parent.

And for, him needing to go back… ask him what it was about. Communication is key. Ask if next time you can go with.

Not yall humans on the internet always jumping to the worst senerio :thinking:

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Nawh. As a single mom who co parents, wether I’m seeing someone or not, my daughters dad and my own dad get spoiled on Father’s day, period. I’m teaching my Child to honor and love both parents. Things didn’t work out with us, that is not my child’s fault, and my kid deserves as many normal holidays as any other child. Your child hasn’t been born yet, so quite frankly, it ain’t all about you yet. Imo*

Yes, all of you can come for me.

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Get the fuck out now!

Leave. It will only get worse.

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If you have to worry about what’s going on,then most likely there is something going on. If you are uncomfortable with it and he does it anyway that says your feeling really don’t matter. If I were you I’d dump him and find a grown up man.

I think that is perfectly acceptable ffor him to spend time with his ex on account of the child they share together. I would ask yourself, what is your part with his ex? You should be cultivating a healthy relationship with her, and if you have not, maybe he does not feel comfortable yet inviting you to go with them. I am not saying this is the case, and there are two sides to the story. I would tell him how this makes you feel and make an effort to include you next time so that his child with her feels all the support from all adults who love him.

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Couldn’t be me. I’d leave that hotel room and never look back! Goodluck & don’t stress because then the baby stresses :two_hearts:

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If you weren’t caring his child nor have a child I’d say he’s prob just trying to show his son what’s right… but you are pregnant… this was your first mother’s day! You are watching what you eat everything you do to protect that baby inside of you. You are already a mother… happy mother’s day momma but that is unexpecxeable.

As a momma that the daddy has another child with someone else. It’s nice to send agift home with the child for the mother for mother’s days but there’s no reason he would be spending mother’s days with him AND NOT EVEN INVITING YOU. My man doesn’t go hangout with his ex and son unless I am first invited and feel comfortable about the situation. He didn’t even take a min to think about you.

Everyone saying breaking up him… have you had a conversation about how things like this make you feel. We are all grown up and need to communicate. Go have a talk with him and if he sees he was wrong and promised to never let you feel like that again put it behind you. If he see nothing wrong I would end it… nothing good is going to come out of it. If he doesn’t respect you there’s no way in hell baby momma #1 will. Everything comes down to communication.
Take it from me I become a step mom at 17 and had my son and 18. And we are engaged. It’s hard but with communication it becomes easier!

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Sounds like you get what you tolerate. And I wouldn’t tolerate any of that shit. Boy bye!.:raised_hand_with_fingers_splayed:

Sounds like he has other priorities. And he’s stuck on his past. If he’s choosing them now it might not ever change and you deserve better! :heart:

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My thoughts are why did he not bring you with them

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If he brought you it would b ok

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