He talked to him about deodorant and you are losing your mind over it???
Just be glad you have a guy who is actually taking in interest in your kids and they are not his there is guys out there who have kids and live in the same house as them don’t take that much interest in them , I don’t see a problem with him talking to your son , yeah he has his dad he can talk to but isn’t it good that he has two father figures he can turn to when he needs to , I totally agree with your boyfriend if u want him involved and living with your family then he should be able to take on the role of step parent and help deal with these situations and good on him for trying x
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Come on man really? He spoke to him about deodorant. ? I think you need to relax a little.
Over deodorant?! 
Wow, girl. PICK YOUR BATTLES!
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Did your bf discuss sex or just deodorant ?
Wow. 🤦🤷😂 Someone was going to mention it, IMHO. Teachers, Friends, Coaches, Neighbors. Talk to your son instead of waiting for someone else to chime in there. SMH.
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I can’t believe that this is a question. Your boyfriend WANTED to help and you got mad because he talked to him about DEODORANT. Girl bye
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It’s really not that big of a deal…
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I bet you’re a blast at parties 
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Your being ridiculous atleast he cares enough about your son to be there for him
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If he needs a talk about deodorant it should have come from SOMEONE! If you smell your son then YOU should have had a talk. I refuse to send smelly kids into the world.
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I think you should be grateful he cares enough to say something also sometimes kids do better talking to others that ain’t their parents about personal stuff.
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If he is willing let him
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Why would you be upset about your boyfriend teaching him proper hygiene ?? No one wants to smell stinky pits, sorry not sorry.
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Omg really? He didn’t even touch subject on anything sensitive. it’s deodorant! Girl bye 
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So wrong!
You’re complaining about deodorant!?!?!?
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You can’t let a man live with you and raise your kids and the be mad. It’s all or nothing.
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Why wait and let dad explain puberty? Are you not capable? Buy your son some deoderant and tell him it’s time to wear it…🤦 as far as any other puberty concerns he may have, I don’t see why bf can’t help him out. If dad gets pissed oh well.
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I get why you’re asking this. I have sort of experienced this. I wanted my daughters 1st hair cut to be w me & ofcourse someone else decided to do it for me & I was pissed but it wasn’t a big enough reason for me to cause a problem so I let it go & let it be a personal issue. You have every right to be upset about whatever you feel that you should be upset about w YOUR child. Nothing pisses me off more when I ask someone to let me handle something w my own kid & takes it into their own hands. BUT I he didn’t mean any harm in discussing this w him so I would just let it go. I would just make it clear how you felt. Keep in mind thou he wasn’t doing it to hurt you or your child. & it caused no harm so I would drop it. If anything he’s just more informed now which is great you can never start to early on personal hygiene but there are some things I want to do/talk w my child that I feel no one else but me & their father who has been raising them w me has a right to do. Just reading some of these ridiculous comments saying he deserves better because she’s feeling upset is just smh. This is her Boyfriend who has only been around for 2 years. It doesn’t mention anything about him paying for this kid or doing what this kid needs. Nothing in here mentions about how much this man does for this child if any at all. How do any of you know what the boyfriend is like 🤦🏻 maybe she wanted to be the one who started mentioning those things to him considering he is her son & has walked him through every milestone since he was a baby. Or maybe she wanted to know if the child was comfortable having that conversation w him first. Or maybe that’s something for the father & mother to discuss? There really isn’t enough information about this post for people to be so judgmental. Damn.
My husband is a Youth Pastor and one of the things that gets talked about with boys of that age, pretty casually and frequently, is personal hygiene. It’s not a super sensitive or private subject that should only be discussed between a child and their parent but one that should and is discussed with any human being in the presence of someone who’s caring for them and actively involved in their life. Would you be as upset if he asked your son to brush his teeth before bed? Personal hygiene is something that’s just common courtesy to the people that you share a home with or are in close contact with.
At the surface this seems like a non issue. The issue seems to be with his dad which if that’s the case, your boyfriend shouldn’t have to walk on eggshells because you don’t want to risk upsetting your ex. Whether it’s valid or not, that probably feels like your ex’s feelings take priority over his. If he is actively a part of your son’s life and contributes to your household, your finances, etc. then something as insignificant as this shouldn’t be a problem in the first place. If it’s his house too, then someone else’s personal hygiene (be it yours, your son’s, or the dog’s) DOES have an effect on how he may feel in his home, therefore giving him a dog in the race and a right to say something if he feels necessary.
That being said…there’s a compromise to be found in every situation. Do you know for a fact this specific deodorant conversation would be a problem with your ex? Maybe you could let him know “hey, WE had a brief conversation in passing with said child about deodorant but of course I’ve made it clear that we will save the more sensitive and personal aspects of puberty for you out of respect for your role as his father”. Make it a firm non issue from the get go before he has the opportunity to “find out” and make a bigger deal of it than it is - the “we” part of that statement lets him know that you and your partner are a united front, hopefully appeasing both sides when it’s all said and done.
Best of luck to you, girl. Not seeing eye to eye on things like this sucks. Especially when there’s 3 adults contributing to a child’s life who all presumably only want the best for them.
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I Bet You Were Totally Unprepared For The Response Your Post Is Getting
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You’re mad because he told him about deodorant? You’re overreacting. He didn’t talk to him about sex.
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Seriously? Deodorant? I really don’t see what the problem is? Am I missing something😂
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Girl You’re weird. It’s deodorant not sex. If he’s in involved in you and your son’s life then it IS his place to have that kind of conversation. He’s a male/father figure for him. Get over it or go be with the kids dad since you’re so worried about making him upset 🤷
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Yes, you are being extremely petty AF
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You’re being a little dramatic. Its deodorant. If he would have sat him down and talked about the birds and the bees that would be different.
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Hey, least you have a boyfriend that WANTS to be involved - if he’s going to be in your and your son’s life, then this is a great thing for both him and your son. Yes, his biological father is around but there is nothing wrong with having another man to look up to as a role model and learn things from.
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Oh no!!
Not the deodorant talk!! The horror!!
Grow up, dude. Sounds like you’re one of those females who bitches about everything but makes hamburger helper for dinner every night and can’t fuck right:roll_eyes:
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Deodorant is hygiene. Let it go.
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Its. Deodorant.
Not the 
& 
.
Chill a little.
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Your children need you to teach them proper hygiene habits. Whether it’s coming from bio dad, the boyfriend or you, it doesn’t matter!! If I ever for a second noticed that my child might need to start wearing deodorant, I would immediately show her how to use it.
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It was only about deodorant I would think your over reacting , deodorant is a good thing some people never get that talk and it shows
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Girl I can’t… That’s extremely petty. I 100% agree with Apriel Ezeh. She said it all perfectly.
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Ummm…deodorant isn’t the puberty talk
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Omg it’s fucking deodorant. Get a grip!!! A teacher will speak to a kid about deodorant if it’s an issue in class, a live in boyfriend shouldn’t be getting shit for doing it
You win the queen of petty. Petty champ. Congrats! 
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I think it’s appropriate for ANY trusted male to have and be allowed to have those kinds of talks with young adults. You need to get your panties out of a bunch and let your bf help your son grow into a productive happy man!
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Did you really just ask if it’s OK that your boyfriend told your son about deodorant what are ignorant question
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Why wouldn’t he get to be a dad? I took this as, since you split with the dad he stepped up. If that’s the case, your bf is overstepping. He’s overstepping going against your wishes as well. But, if dad has been sporadic, then your bf is probably feeling a certain way
I don’t think there’s any harm in what he’s doing… he’s not disciplining him etc. Just giving a talk about boy stuff. If dad’s in the picture, great! But having another male role model for him to look up to, especially it being your boyfriend, isn’t bad… might strengthen their reltionship!
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There is really immature people in these comments. I can’t stand reading their comments. Grow up and talk like an adult please. These are adult conversations…
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… please tell me this was a joke.
You can’t actually be that petty about your boyfriend who lives in your house Talking to your son about deodorant. Most women are extremely grateful when their boyfriend steps up and is involved with the step children. Grow up or stay single. You keep treating your boyfriend like that and he won’t stick around.
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Wtf you need help. Your really upset that your BF spoke to a child that he lives with as well about fking deodorant. LMFAO. Atleast he wants to be involved and is helping. I hope deodorant is your only problem in life
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Wth lol really?
My son is nine and uses deodorant!
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Good lord… sorry not sorry but its deodorant he is your partner and had a talk with your child that he is clearly involved with as well… cant pick and choose or your shouldnt be when you partner is allowed to do things in your childs life. . You shouldn’t be together then. Smh. There’s nothing to be mad about… you should be saying thank you.
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Wait let me get this right he just explaind to the boy why it was important to wear deodorant? OMG that is personal hygiene the school is gonna tell him about it soon anyway. Its not like he wiped out a banana and showed him how to put on a condom or the best porn sites to visit. I think you need to relax and just be greatful that you found a man who is willing to step up and help out.
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Something as simple as that should not be an issue. You have no reason to be upset. But I also don’t agree that just because he was a shit dad before and is making the effort now it doesnt matter. Huge news flash It does matter. Sad that it took losing you to become a better father to your children but it would be wrong of you to not allow their father to be their father.
His dad can still be a dad even if your new boyfriend talks to him about anything. Maybe having a broader idea on things wont be so bad as time goes on. I’m sure it’s not just the deodorant talk that bothers you. You dont have to pick a side or point out who is doing what better. Let them both be involved as much as they can for the sake of your son. Also remember men are natural problem solvers. If you speak to him about something he is already coming up with a solution aka talking to him for you. So if you really dont want him to solve something for you then vent to a friend.
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Boyyyyy some of y’alls mamas never had the “if you don’t have anything nice to say don’t say anything at all” talk. You can give an opinion without being rude.
I wish my man was different in some ways and DID do that stuff with my previous child!
Anyone living with a stinky teenager can tell them about deodorant
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Wtf? Talking deodorant is not talking puberty. It’s talking basic hygiene… which obviously you are not talking to your son about so he did.
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Alright ladies. Let’s cut her some slack now. I guess she got the message.
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Yes. He is being a good boyfriend/father figure. Quit giving him a hard time. Do you know how many kids DONT have a man like this in their lives? Stop being ungrateful it’s deodorant not walking him down the aisle
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It’s deodorant… I wouldn’t even be mad about something like this… Also, having kids and being in a relationship with someone other than their father and your significant other wanting to be involved in raising your son as he should be, he has been there for 2 years and counting, should be included I think… Just like if their dad has another significant other and he went to their house and they all had a talk which included her…
Doesn’t sound like you guys are going to last very long if you’re getting upset over something like this. I could understand if he had the talk about the birds and the bees … But this is deodorant… Anyways my rambling will get somewhere I promise COMMUNICATION is key to a successful relationship and making your partner feel like he isn’t included may result in a bad outcome to you guys and your relationship.
I also agree, if he is financially helping, I wouldn’t even think twice had it been my son getting advice especially with deodorant. The last thing he wants to do is go to school smelling bad I’m sure.
My daughter started stinking like an onion and I guess it just totally slipped past me and my sis told her it’s time to start using deodorant. Didn’t even bat an eye just thought how clueless I was and felt bad for my daughter for having to smell like that and I hadn’t even noticed my sweet girl was going through some changes before her older sis.
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So you as a mother would rather your son stink and possibly be made fun of at school all to passivy your ex.
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A brief talk about deodorant are you kidding me.
Sorry, that’s daily hygiene not a talk about puberty.
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He lives with you… hes a massive part of your sons life. If you werent talking to him about using deodorant and dad didnt talk to him about it then props to him for stepping up. Its deodorant. He didnt talk about sex or puberty at all. He talked about body odor. Calm down.
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It’s only deodorant… It wasn’t the birds and the bees… That talk was fine… and yes you’ve been with him 2 years, he’s living there and contributing to the house hold and should be able to get a say… You need to stand up to his father and explain that you have every right to talk to the kid about any thing you choose to and him getting upset about something should not stop you… especially when it’s something as simple as hey buddy you’re getting older now it’s time to wear deodorant cos you’re starting to need it…
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You need to grow up, be thankful you have a man in yours and your son’s life who wants to teach him these things xx
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Talking to a kid about deodorant is not the same as the puberty talk. Be glad you have a man around who takes an interest in your son and teaching him about life.
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Hmmm… Sounds like your boy was a lil musky an bf was just trying to help.
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deodorant? Really? Thats what youre upset about?
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Seriously 
you’re upset over a prominent male in your sons life speaking to your son about using deodorant? It’s 2020… Spare yourself the grief and drama and have the conversation with your son yourself. I feel there is underlying issues here you need to work through and this post is a little on the nose 
Single mum 
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I dont know if you’re joking or not. Its deodorant, it’s better than the boy going to school and being made fun of. Seriously, you have a man in his life that wants to help. Get off his back and let him help.
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Umm he’s doing the right thing. If you want to run him off for the “Dad” that you say he’s “ now” wanting to be in your sons life. Wish you luck. Not! Girl over deodorant for realz?! Grow up. He can do better!
I would of been happy if I’d a had a boyfriend ( I choose to be single) and their dad in both of my my sons life to help talk about this kind of stuff to my boys. But being a single mom I had to tell them and show them. Yes I even taught both my boys how to spit. I wasn’t about to raise to little pussyfoot boys up to be little bitches. Be glad he’s there to help. A lot of boys don’t have that in their life.
ERM… Hello?!
Ok, there is SOOOO much I could say about how ridiculous and pretty selfish you sound right about now but I won’t, as it will probably be said by others anyway!
Firstly, a simple brief talk about deodorant - is NOT the talk about puberty.
I mean - My 7 yr old refuses to go out unless he is wearing deodorant!
Wether you are mum or dad, doesn’t the fact that you are the parent make it apart of your responsibility to have ‘the talk’ with your child, to teach them and help them understand what is happening to them??
There is no written law or rule, that states which parent is obligated to explain this to a child, let alone is there anything that states that it HAS to be a parent.
Perhaps, you should take it upon yourself to have the talk about puberty with your son, and not make passing comments to your boyfriend (with whom you clearly do not see yourself being with for very long), or leaving it up to the biological father whenever he decides to do it.
And perhaps, take initiative of any future issues that may arise, seeing as you so clearly disapprove of your boyfriend’s efforts to bond with your son…
Quite frankly, I have nothing else to say that is appropriate and anything else I do say… well yeah🙅… I’m out🤷
Yeah, you’re wrong here. Sorry. If he’s been in a fatherly type of a relationship and the actual father is a shitty one, then it was definitely a good place for him to be.
Over Deodarent? Now if it was the birds and bees talk then it might be different.
Why can they both not be a father figure???
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I think your partner needs an apology from you.
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Omg really? He talks about deodorant and you almost lose your mind? He is around and dad is not (not a lot), let him have talks with him. I told my kids about deodorant years ago when they were around 4 to 5 years old.
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Deodorant is definitely hygiene and not puberty. Good lord woman.
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Maybe your son needs to wear deodarant and no one has toldhim. So your bf took this opportunity to tell him. which is good cause no one wants to be someone who stinks. Also that’s a lesson on hygiene not puberty.
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I can’t contemplate what the true underlying issue is! To get upset over something trivial is absurd!!
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Personally I don’t think there’s a problem. It’s deodorant. If it was the sex talk maybe different but you might be overreacting. This guy has been in your life for 10+ years, you trust him around your kid, he is a father figure it’s probably going to be easier for him to talk to him because he’s not his dad and he’s not you.
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OMG when I first smelled my SS I point blank told him bud your starting to smell it’s time for deodorant. He was glad someone told him. Now as for the “sex talk” that was so on his dad. I’m not going there lol!! If your boyfriend is going to be in y’all live for along time he should be able to talk to him about deodorant but yes your son’s dad should have " THE TALK" with him but if he don’t someone needs to
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I have never been in a step parent situation, but I am a firm believer that if you are sharing your life with someone to the point they are living with you, helping pay Bill’s, sharing expenses for children that are not theirs and playing the day to day role of the other parent, they should get an opinion that is taken into consideration and be able to have certain “bio-parental entitelments” like being able to talk about deodorant, girls, home work, life good or bad or distribute non physical punishments(obviously appropriate within reason and with the bio parent being completely made aware/has chance to give input) IMO wanting someone to love your child like their own would be the goal in finding a partner outside their other parent and to me that means allowing them to participate in every aspect of the child’s life. If bio dad gets mad over a deodorant convo I think he needs to ask himself why and maybe he can have his own convo w son or get together w step dad& they can both talk to him and I think you probably owe your partner an apology if you made a huge fight over this or made him feel bad over something so innocent. Sounds like to me he loves your kid and wants the best for him. I dont see a convo over deodorant or puberty is out of line you’re trusting him enough to live under the same roof as you & your kid a fatherly conversation shouldn’t be a bad thing.
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Some of these questions tho 🤦 Bet you’re happy you are anonymous! 
I would definitely be tempted to take a peek at your FB 
dammit sis!
As long as he’s not abusing you or your kids,then I say you’ve won the lottery.
So he isn’t apart of ur sons life hes just a guy u sleep w and lives their ??? 2 yrs and living w the child makes him a part of the boy life and its deodorant not sex omg take a dam chill and if bd gets upset well tell him he should have done it
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Embrace the fact he wants to be active in your sons life and all he talked about was deodorant that’s not a big deal
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Really! You sound pretty childish! Smh;
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You are boys mother. BF should respect your wishes. Do not allow him to disrespect you.your children will follow in that behavior. The 3adults involved should be on same page with parenting plan.
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Wow!! Haha it’s deodorant chill out
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Yes you are wrong, he talking to him about deodorant, its not like he went into full detail, if you are living together then yes he is a part of your sons life and helps do those parenting things, you dont want him to then get him out of your kids life asap and go back to being a booty call
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It’s really hard when we leave someone who was very controlling it sounds like your fear response to the bio father’s past behaviour is impacting your current relationship.focus on you and your family now your current boyfriend isn’t in a relationship with your ex but he might feel that way right now
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Ok first off your dumb as hell. Second off you’re an ass. How rude.
A talk about deodorant is not a big deal! At least your boyfriend had a talk with him rather than no one, then kids at school start teasing him for being the stinky kid. It’s ok, it’s just hygiene. Sounds like he’s a lucky kid to have two males in his life to help guide him.
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And… boys dad = boys DAD. good, bad or indifferent .if this is problem…you talk to son
Its just deodorant, its not like he gave him the sex talk. Its a basic hygiene conversation.
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Why must the most mundane, common sense issues be blown waaaay out of proportion!?!
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“A brief talk about deodorant” if that’s all, there’s no reason to be upset. He didn’t sit him down & have a talk about sex or changes in his body. Just to wear some damn deodorant!
As long as it wasnt the talk (about sex) I dont see an issue with it. Kids stink and better to talk to them right away than push it off so they are the smelly kid at school 
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If your boyfriend is a good man , and dad is starting to be just be thankful your son has them to talk to . Just make sure the men ate on the same page so he doesn’t get confused
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You’re over reacting
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You are his Mom and you should talk to him about the sex thing why does everyone think it a guy thing
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I mean do you expect your bf to financially, emotionally, help with homework, taking care of them when sick, watching them when you aren’t home, taking them to school/ sport events???
If so why can he do those things and your perfectly fine with but a deodorant talk you get all mad about?
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It’s a talk about deodorant 
get over it. Y’all should have BEEN talked to that boy about personal hygiene anyway 