I am a stay at home mom and my child is homeschooled.Over the past two years my boyfriend mom has been sick,he got two other sisters.Long story short this has become a family problem,because the siblings don’t want to take care of the mom,they wanted her to go to nursing home but my bf refused.I told him that might be a good option since he himself can’t care for her either since he works and he is thinking that I should be the one taking care of the mom.I would love to help him with that but also I can’t since we’re doing homeschool and by the way she had stroke and Alzheimer’s disease which makes her wander around so she needs someone to keep an eye on her,bathe her and fix her food since she can’t do that herself.What should i do?Since he said he will bring her home either way.He is mad at the sisters and don’t want to consult with them either.Im stressed about this,please give me some advice.
Sounds like the tables need to turn. You go to work and let him home school and care for the mom and kids. Might help his decision making in the future…
Alzheimer’s is a horrible disease and my grandfather just passed away from it. It took my grandmother, my mom, and my two aunts to help take care of my grandfather and they had a nurse come to the house a few times a week. If you decide to bring her into your home then I would definitely look into getting a nurse or someone to help you.
I think this is totally dependent upon what you think your mental max load is. If taking care of her is not within that range then you need to find somewhere else to stay for the time being. It’s not fair of him to expect you to take care of his mother. I’ve worked in long term care and I know how much goes into taking care of people in this state.
On the other hand if you’re willing you can look into home health aides to be there during the day while you do what you need to and make sure he know that he will expected to provide his part of care when he gets home.
I would never let my parents go to long term care but I also would never expect my husband to care for them.
My husband let my mom move in. He was great taking care of her.
Is a care taker through a company an option?
Sometimes medicare will pay for either full or part time caretaking.
Ma’am do what’s best for you. You already know the anxiety you’re having with just the thought. If this will take you out of your peace, do what’s best for your self care. When you’re mental status changes due to others, who’s going to look after you?
Seek other options through her insurance or perhaps private pay BUT BY ALL MEANS TAKE CARE OF YOU FIRST:purple_heart:
I had my grandson everyday and I took care of my husband after he had a stroke and dementia. It was hard but putting him in a home was something I wasn’t going to do. It hard but worth it.He passes in 2019 He was down eleven years.
I can’t stand when people can’t just take an answer. He doesn’t know what you are personally going through or how much you can handle and I feel he needs to think about that a little more. Keeping this as short as possible. I think he needs to understand you and your needs as you are raising his children.
Super tough but you need to express how you feel to your bf. Not that she’d be a burden but it’s alot to handle. I would also mention maybe if sisters would help but doesn’t seem like they would. You could also see if you can have a home care aide come help. Good luck and best wishes💕
Maybe talk with him and you go to work and he stays home!
Around here there’s adult daycare, games activities and all. Could she possibly go there for the day do you can continue homeschooling and then she would be home in the evenings when both you and your husband are home to both help care for her.
Any chance of hiring someone to come in and help during the day then he can help in the evening (assuming he works in the day)
I work in a nursing home and I’ve also helped with caring for my grandparents at their homes and I can tell you both are hard. We had family who helped at home to give others breaks but it was mostly my mom and my son who did alot and myself when I wasn’t working. There were also a place we would take her during the day where they did things with her etc… kind of like babysitting. If you guys do go that route I would check to see also they do have home care where people do come to your home to help with some of her cares which I would see about that too. Nursing home would be easier but make sure to check them out before just picking one. I would say even though it was hard at times I enjoyed my grandma at home.
I feel like I am going against the grain here, but I personally would not do it. Homeschooling is hard enough. We took care of my mom for a couple of years and it about destroyed our home. Alzheimer’s patient are mentally and physically exhausting, I don’t see a person giving there all in homeschooling and being a caretaker. If you ARE considering I would let him be the stay at home schooler(yes that is priority number 1) and caregiver and you work. Good luck to you. Think long and hard about your decision.
If you truly do not want to or feel you can’t handle it. Sit down with him and be honest. If you do it because you feel like you don’t have a choice. No one will be happy. Some people just can’t be a caregiver. For some people it comes natural. Either way Mom needs care. Visit care centers with your boyfriend to let him know you genuinely care. Work together for the best solution for all involved
She could live with you and hire care to come into the home.
I watched my dad and his wife take in his diabetic mother with dementia while trying to run their own business and raise a 9yo. They thought they were doing the right thing, but 6 months in and the situation almost ruined their marriage. Sometimes the nursing home is the better option, especially if you’re not trained to handle that level of care. It’s not a matter of not wanting to, it’s a matter if knowing they deserve more than you know how to offer. So I can understand not be able to care for her.
If the tables were turned would you want your mother being in a care home or at home with you? At home with you is the answer. Support your boyfriend now or maybe he won’t become your husband later because your not willing to help care for the woman who brought him into this world. This isn’t forever this is for now. Help the Woman leave this world peacefully and around the people who love her the most. Good luck.
Maybe hire some help. Like a caregiver even 4 hrs a day can help alot I’m sure. You have to put your feelings aside on this. This is his mother and he wants to care for her. Make it work.
If your a stay at home mom and he’s providing for the family and you plan on staying with him this is what you do in a relationship. If not get a job and let him stay home to take care of the kids and his mom. No way would I suppose my spouse if they wouldn’t help with my sick mom. What if it was your mother and he didn’t want to? You could also get home health to come and assist there as well.
I wish everyone would quite using the term nursing home. I have a mother in assisted living 93 with dementia and it’s the best thing that ever happened. My siblings refused to help and where robbing her blind in the process. She for the first time in her life has a few friends that she can spend time with and her health is better. I won’t kid you it was an adjustment, but in the long run it was the right choice
Nursing homes around here are $10,000 a month. What would it cost in your area, and what resources does his mother have to pay for it? Sometimes those with Medicare coverage aren’t the nicest or most attentive places. That said, todays homes are so much better than the warehouses of old.
Have hubs move in with mom for a weekend and see what taking care of her entails, fixing & feeding her meals, toileting and bathing her, making sure she doesn’t wander off in the middle of the night, dealing with her being frightened and not knowing where she is/what’s going on. You have to be on alert 24/7 and he needs to know this is a huge 24/7/365 job.
Nursing homes have great programs with art and movement and games specifically for dementia patients and the staff to handle them 24/7.
Since no one is up to the task, look into hiring aides to care for her around the clock. Maybe get alarmed mats for by her bed so at night the caregiver can be alerted to get up and help. Your night person could probably be anyone willing to help vs. a nurse or CNA.
I would look into having a Home nurse come to the house to bathe and feed her. I wish my mom was still around, I would do everything I could to have her with me.
If your with him it’s just something you do. What if it was switched & it was your mom? You’d feel the same as he us. I understand you might be nervous or even scared but life at home & a nursing home is two completely different things. He is just wanting to keep her close. She might not have long & he wants to be there for her.
Unless he’s willing to give up work to care for his mum then that’s fine but tbh I wouldn’t agree with it and she would get the right help etc in a home! They will make her room etc all homely and cosy for her to make her feel comfortable. It’s not fair him expecting you to do it all aswel as cleaning cooking looking after your own children and doing homeschooling…
My MIL had Alzhiemer also, she would get outside then had to go find her, she was also violent, so if the same situation for you, then the answer is definitely no. It’s constant care, way too much for me to handle, when she became violent I told my husband definitely not, especially around my small children.
I personally never put my parents in a nursing home. I’m my moms only child and I feel like I need take care of her and my dad. I’m all they have. My boss works remotely 2 days a week and takes care of her mom with Alzheimer’s. It’s doable. It’s not easy but possible. I would be upset like your boyfriend is. It’s about supporting each other in the good and bad.
This is a boyfriend, your not married, move out get a job, support you and your kids on your own, file for child support…good luck in whatever you decide to do. Do what is best for you, not what is convenient for her offspring.
Absolutely not . It will get 100% worse unfortunately . She will need proper care and LTC would be the best unless he can stay home or hire someone to come in while he is at work .
I’d say if it was your mom I’m sure you would have her there.
Also, if she has medicaid you can apply for Freedom Care and get paid to take care of her and have nurses come in to also help.
I used to work in a nursing home and trust me, Alzheimer’s patients can be difficult, wonder off, need round the clock care and can sometimes violent especially when things don’t go the way they remember it or know where they are. I would suggest visiting a nursing home or assistant living home with an Alzheimer’s unit/program. Just be warned that not all nursing homes are as nice or friendly as they look.
I understand where ur coming from . Alzheimer’s is very very hard to deal with and can be dangerous at times. Ur husband needs to spend a couple weeks with her before he makes his decision.
There’s a difference between not wanting and not being able to. Maybe speak to him directly and tell him that you don’t want to take care of her, saying you can’t gives him the opportunity for further dialogue and to continue to press the issue. They have programs in place where they can provide nursing care for her. This is coming from a homeschool mom, who’s mom had a stroke/brain surgery and also has a child on life support at home. I refused to let either go to a nursing home.
I understand that this is hard on him but He needs to think of what’s best for her. She needs 24/7 specialized care. Imo a nursing home would be the best choice. He can still visit her but she will have the adequate care that she needs too.
Talk to him more and see if he’s willing to get a nurse for her if she does stay with you. Or if he would talk to his mom’s doctors and see what they suggest be done
I just got through taking care of my mom until she passed in February. I would have never ever put her in a nursing home. Did he even ask if she wanted to live there? Maybe she would rather be at home whether she passes away or gets better. I have two sisters and we called home health and when the end was near we called hospice. Nursing homes are very impersonal and expensive!
Would he stay home to take care of your mom while you worked? If no, there’s your answer.
I was married for thirty years. We moved my mother in law with us and three children for me to care for her. He never even helped her in the night. After she passed we divorced due to him having affair.
We took my sick MIL in, but we also have a nurse that comes daily and the evening is really all we’re responsible for 
As someone who lost their mother. Take that time and care for her. It’s hard yes but you don’t want that regret. If my mother in law needed the care she would be here in a heartbeat. She had her time if taking care of people now it’s time to return the care
I couldn’t imagine being ok with sticking my so’s parent in a home because I couldn’t be bothered. How would you feel if it were your parent?
You said he was a boyfriend not a husband run
Alot of insurances will cover so.eone coming in and helping. Have your husband look into that. It’s a call to insurance company and her doc will have to fill out paperwork. Good kuck
Alzheimer’s care is not typical care and depending on how advanced her dementia is you may not be able to provide what she needs. If he insists on having her in your home, you should insist on having a specialist caregiver that can come most days of the week. Sadly I’ve seen advanced dementia patients that become violent when frustrated or confused. That may not be an issue with your MIL but it is something that should be considered.
thats messed up imo. my mom had CANCER and we did ANYTHING for her before she died. them girls need to step up a bit at least. but if nobody is going to step up then who will? itll be rough yes, but at least she has someone
I don’t envy you . I am not Sure you can care for her - she may have no choice but go in a home
Why, don’t you look in home health care to help him on. There are options you can look into helping your boyfriend instead of being negative and complaining. I’m positive if this was your parent, you would do the same. Personally, I care for my elderly father. He lives with me not by choice but bc my husband asked him to before he got sicker and older; now it’s our responsibility to do so. I also care for my mother she still lives at her home but I travel every morning and after work to her place to make sure she has things in place both my parents are ill one has dementia and the other is barely being diagnosed. I went from part time to full-time, take a course to finish up my degree, just stopped homeschooling my lil one and he attends regular school. Nothing in life is easy, and if your boyfriend is taking in that responsibility, you should stand by his side. Unfortunately, not many siblings ever help that’s life, too. Many will have a lot to say, but unless they’re in your shoes caring for their parents, I pay no mind to. If you are going to be negative and not even try, then you might not be the right mate for your partner.
When my grandad became ill with dementia my dad wouldn’t put him in a home he moved in with his dad to take care of him till he died, and when my dad became ill I was going to take care of him so he didn’t have to go into a home unfortunately he died before I couldn’t was devestated I had a 2 year old and worked part time and was still willing to take care of him he’s my dad my world my best friend loading him was the worst thing I ever been thru. So 100% feel where your boyfriend is coming from im also a carer of my partners mom needed help of she became poorly I would do it
If he doesn’t want to to put his mother in a home then he can look after her
He should not just assume you’d take that kind of responsibility…you already have alot on your plate… I’d definitely talk to him an tell him how you feel.
That’s love right there! You’ll be instilling that in your children’s mind for when you guys become older. I know it’ll be hard, (I, too take care of a family member that had a stroke, as well as my 3 1/2 year old, by myself for 10 1/2 hrs a day). If need be, get a part time job opposite of him, or arrange for “YOU” time once a week for a break.
Part of living someone and being in a relationship is helping them be strong. Your boyfriend is working and sounds like her provides a good home for you. You are blessed to be able to stay home and homeschool your children. He has reached out to you and said he needs to care for his mother. Tell yourself how you would feel if this was your mother in need of care? Would you turn her away or be shocked if your partner did? It will not be easy to care for an elderly person with dementia, however it will destroy the trust you have built with the relationship you have with your boyfriend, if you refuse. Sometimes things we need to do in life are difficult. If you honestly love him and want a life with him this is something you must consider.
I’ve read too many horror stories of live in grandparents with alzhiemers or dementia leaving doors open and the small children getting out into the street or swimming pools. Alarms and locks on all doors is a must if u decide to move her in. Ur children need to be protected first.
It’s his mother I don’t see anything wrong with it. But let him know that it’s not gonna fall on you for her personal care. Ask a social worker to find a nurse while he works. Maybe one for night time. He’s doing the right thing. Shame on his sisters
Nurses can come in your home to help I would never put anyone in a nursing home don’t blame your husband for wanting his mom with him think what if it was your mom?
Exact reason why I always ask God to take me home b4 I become a bother to anyone 
I am 61 years young 
and I always pray not to ever be put in that situation 
Ok you said BF not husband… So i assume your living in his house? He did ask you about his mom when could of just just point blank said this is how its going to be kinda say.
Seeing how your not bringing money into this household. Maybe he feel like he cant afford to pay out $1000. Min a month.
What if it was your mon and he told you that she is not welcome in his place…
Hes given you the blessing of the ability to be a stay at home mom. I dont see why it’s an issue to help with his mom. You’re homeschooling so obviously your child is older. Seems really selfish just because you don’t want the burden.
Stroke plus alzhiemers = about 5 - 8000 a month for that level of residential care, tell him if he budgets that in you’ll consider becoming her 24/7 caregiver
Mother is now being healed in Jesus mighty name Amene. Be sure to thank Jesus for her deliverance and.miracle healing Amene. She’s going to be fine Amene
Anyone saying that OP should do it because she’s a SAHM and bf works to provide has never cared for an ailing senior. Dementia and alziemers is no joke and NOT easy. It can be downright dangerous.
It is a job, like caring for children, that requires 24/7 attention.
If you don’t think you can handle it, stick to your boundaries. Offer to forgo luxuries to help with the cost of a home or nurse for her. Sacrifice weekends to visit her. But do not attempt to care for her of you can’t.
If bf is adamant, then you have no choice but to leave. It is absolutely unfair for him to expect you to take this on.
He needs to hire someone to help take care of her. He can’t just volunteer your time, you need to volunteer if you wish.
I encourage you to be honest and open with him about the way you feel. It is ok to not want to take on that responsibility. Your concern is valid. I as a Social Worker… I’ve seen the good, bad, and ugly of it. I don’t see how THEIR mother’s care falls solely on YOUR shoulders.
Well all o have to say , is of your willing to though somebody in a nursing home , without at least trying to give it a try, , then I hope your kids throw you in one one day, nursing homes are not nice places ,shame on you , I would take care of my mil in a heart beat.
Alzheimer patients are NOT for the faint of heart. We just went through this the last 10 years with my grandmother. It is hard mentally and physically exhausting, and gets way worse and taxing the further the disease progresses. If you’re not prepared or all in, this is absolutely going to be a a disaster waiting to happen, and she will suffer for it. If you truly don’t want to do this or think you can’t handle it, you’re gonna have to make the decision to leave. If you stay, it WILL be hell. Maybe a compromise is seeing if you can find in home nursing care for your homeschooling hours, and you care for her after and before. With the caviat that when he is home, he cares for her as his own responsibility. If he is the type to come home and do nothing, I wouldn’t even entertain this, muchless offer help in home as an option.
You can also see if she may qualify for hospice. They will come q couple times a week to help with bathing and such. They are a blessing to those who want their loved ones at home. As a caregiver its hard for some to care for their family members. Its demanding and can be exhausting. Know your limits. Ask for help. And above all… Never ever be afraid to say that this is something you cant do alone. It is a full time job at times. Learn what makes her happy. What will keep her occupied. Favorite foods. And make sure she drinks plenty of fluids. Often times people with Alzheimer’s forget to drink and become dehydrated. Nursing homes do off what is called respit care. You can take a break. Go on vacation and such. Some even offer kind of a daycare option. There are ways to get help.
My dad had some health issues and he had to move in with me and my husband. My husband helped me as well. My dad then diagnosed with Parkinson and lewy body dementia. But I refused to let him go to a nursing home! My sisters did not help me at all! Husband and I both worked full time. We made it work and he was so happy living with us. He died in my home a year later from congestive heart failure and I would give anything to have him with me still. Parents take care of their kids and then it’s the kids turn to take care of the parents. We never looked back and thought it was wrong decision it was the best decision and my husband helped me with my dad as well. I could never put my parents in a nursing home!
Tell him fine, bring her home but he will have to pay for carers to come and look after her because you won’t be. Yes it’s his mum but it’s A LOT to not only look after a human being but especially when they have medical needs and mental degeneration AS WELL AS needing to be a mother and homeschool kids.
Me personally if I couldn’t get a nurse to come in and help then no I wouldn’t do it. If he wants to then that’s on him. He could quit his job and you go to work.
I couldn’t put my parents in a nursing home. If his mother has a pension, retirement, social security or such. Maybe she could come stay with you and her son, and use some of her finances to hire some one to help out. This is just a thought. You just follow your heart
I’ve taken care my mom in law with stroke its alot work and u have put alarms on ur house so they don’t wander plz plz tell him its to much she needs proper care and u can’t do it alone
I took care of my sick of mother until she died. It’s stressful. At the same time I would never put someone I loved into a nursing home. My mom went into one for physical rehabilitation after breaking her leg. The bolts put into her leg were pulled out due to abuse. She went there to learn to walk again. They made sure she never could. That was just a few weeks. I’d never put someone in home for the rest of their lives.
Maybe between your husband & his sister’s they can pull money together to hire nurses. Or coordinate their schedules so someone is with her at all times so it’s not left solely on you.
Just remember you are teaching your child how to take of other people out of compassion.what if it was you?
Someone very dear to me had Alzheimer’s. I miss her every damn day and so mad that the world threw such a cruel fate at the most loving woman.
I think it’s worth trying. At least for her and at least for your husbands sake. However, I’ve seen and heard how hard it is to take care of someone with Alzheimer’s. 
it can be tough and challenging, and quite a few families decide on nursing homes after trying. Alzheimer’s need 100% round the clock care. While your husband should never dump this on you, maybe try it and express to your husband your thoughts and concerns before making your choice. And if you do decide to bring mom home, tell your husband you expect his help too!
Sounds like a wife level task if you ask me
You all are so judgmental and have obviously never taken care of someone with Alzheimer’s.it’s not only unfair to the person trying to care for them but it’s unfair to the person that has the disease. They need full time care by professionals that understand this god awful illness.
Would u put ur mom in a nursing home. I think ur being childish. I get I have what u call a lot on ur plate but they only thing u mention is home school so I guessing u don’t work. I get u have to clean and cook but ur doing that no matter what. That’s his mom how would you feel if the roles were flipped. My husband mom had a stroke and within 2 years had a massive stroke the slammed her brain into the side of her head she passed away in September. I would have done anything for her I could have even if that meant for her to move in with us and I talk care of her. We miss her
No he’s not thinking about what’s best for his mother. Taking care of a loved one can be a good thing when they do not have difficult illnesses. Alzheimer’s is very difficult and burn out will happen quickly when you are poorly equipped for the job and have no respite. Your child will suffer bc grandma will need intensive care from you. That means less time for kiddo, seeing their parents completely stressed out, grandma not knowing who they are and she may act aggressive when scared fight back during bathing or eating…
Seriously think about whether you want to be with a man who wants to foist his parents very intensive medical care upon you without actually taking into account what that job entails and your abilities. And bc she can get confused I’ve seen families end up with APS involved which in turn could get CPS involved. And then grandma ends up in a care facility. I truly think since he’s going to force this you need to start making an exit plan. He doesn’t respect your no. And also let his sisters know they should file to become moms general and medical power of attorney.
Seriously families think they can handle it and they get in over their heads. Unless you have been a memory care worker or have a lot of background support and medical supports and literally no other responsibilities I would NOT suggest ever taking on family members with dementia/Alzheimer’s.
People with alzheimers is a rough situation even on the person and the family I’ve seen it my brother has seem it with our grandma. It got to a point where she had to go to nursing home from each family member babysitting her on weekends when I would and my cousins every other weekend and had our kids with us.our kids were young too. And there was a daycare worker during week.
You can get a nurse in to help you out
It’s alot of work. Tell him she needs home health care nurse to take care of her while she is staying there. I believe it’s a medicaid call community care go to your local dfacs office and Apply for it for her, which he would need to do. That would be the only way. Unless the sisters is going to take turns keeping her. It’s to much for you and your child. Tell him that
Memory care is very expensive and you never know what kind of care they’re getting. It’s a hard choice but the more familiar for them the better. Also doing homeschool you could keep them on the same schedule. Baby proof silverware drawer, get a lock box for thermostat, little alarms for the doors.
We take care of our my.
They won’t care about their needs
He can’t and should not do that if he is not going to take care of her at all .
It’s Really really hard to take care of a older person with Alzheimers , they need to be watched 24/7 , you will need to do everything for her , feed , bath and even change diapers if she needs them , and some of them even get aggressive .
You will not be able to do anything , even run errands or go grocery shopping because you will have to take her with you .
The only way you can consider to do so is if he hired a care taker / nurse full time to take care of her during the day , so you both can take care of her in the evenings / nights .( maybe her insurance will pay for that person)
If he refuse to do it anyway you should leave for a couple of days and see how he can handle her
Am I the only one that thinks this isn’t a good idea? I’ve worked in nursing home and hospitals for over 10 years. If you don’t know what your doing or not qualified it can be very difficult and honestly dangerous. Yes your a stay at home mom but your not a stay at home nurse and if it’s not something your comfortable with then you shouldn’t have to do it. If he had to bathe and take care of your mom would he?
How about he stay home and you go get a job. He wants to take care of her it’s his MOM! You Have to make a decision together obviously and it is alot to handle but by you flat out saying no there are going to be a lot of emotions going thru his head and the first one is going to be is you being his wife for Better or worse in sickness and in health and your not willing to help him.
I say suck it up n do this for your bf he lets u b a stay at hm mother and if you dont hes probably going to resent you for it!
Nope don’t do it save yourself the headaches
Not everyone is built to take care of someone with the mom’s illnesses. It takes a certain type of person to be able to handle the care. Because it’s A LOT of care. I wouldn’t want someone to basically tell me I have no choice in the matter. That’s where the bf is wrong on this one. Just because she doesn’t work doesn’t mean she should be full time care for his mom. Personally, let the mom move in, but by God, hire an outside senior care service to help. Hire someone who has experience dealing with her illnesses.
Yeah no, she’s gotta go to the nursing home. She is not your mother or your problem. You never consented to watching her and it was an asshole move for him to assume you would. You have enough on your own plate as it is and him expecting this is insane and disrespectful
Get a home health aid through insurance
Make him get nursing care if he wants her home. Being one that worked in nursing homes and CBRF’s, you would not believe the people that really tried to keep parents, husbands, wives etc home. It just doesn’t work.
if the roles were flipped I bet she wouldn’t ask her SO to stay home and care for her mother. If one has ever cared for an elderly loved one with such deteriorating health issues, then they know how difficult it is. It is extremely mentally exhausting and depressing and all the things. It takes a toll on one’s mental health and I can only imagine all while trying to care for her children, educate them and raise them along with all the day to day household duties. There are plenty of home health agencies and out standing senior living facilities as well that provide much better care around the clock. Those professionals can provide more than what most can. My parents passed, and had they been able to make it to a nursing home or us have a home health nurse assist, then sign me up! It doesn’t lessen the love you have for someone. In my opinion I don’t think I could provide the care that the professionals could! Her season of life is to take care of her children/family. My parents were very, very vocal about not wanting to “burden” their children with taking care of them. They advocated for that decision to one day having to be in an reputable senior facility/home if it ever got to that point.
Nope. My former nanny took care of HIS parents and now he’s cheating on her and trying to not pay support saying she doesn’t deserve alimony bc she didn’t work most of their relationship. She quit a good job to care for them. You guys aren’t even married. No way in hell you should do that. I promise you’ll be criticized every step of the way if you do by those who are afraid to roll up their sleeves and do the dirty work.
Some of yous r living wayyy 2 far in the past. Yeah he works. But she is raising his child, taking care of the home and him. She has no reason 2 take care of his mother who clearly can’t take care of herself. So she’s meant to b a full time mother and caregiver? Nd have a person take away from time with her child nd this person could harm themselves or others. All while the husband just has 2 work the 1 job. Nah absolutely not. I’d take my child nd leave. He can mind her.
Say thay she can come home ad long as he organises in home carers for her as your not available during the day for her needs as you are home schooling your child and he can help with his mom in the evenings if he wishes… that way she still at the house and your not taking the responsibility of her care during the day
I grew up with my grandma (moms mom) living with us. She got Alzheimer’s when I was around 6. She lived with us until I was around 16. I know people say they would never put their parent in a nursing home. But it’s so hard to keep them at home. It’s hard on a marriage and it’s also very hard on a child growing up in that environment. My grandma required more time and attention than I did and we were limited on things we could do and places we could go because of having her. She wandered at night all hours and would keep us all awake. My dad had to work early and I had school. I remember being so tired all the time in school. By the time I was 9 or 10 I was watching my grandma in the summers so my parents could work. She got out of the house a few times and got lost. I was very close to my grandma and loved her dearly but I remember also feeling resentful. My mom has 2 brothers that started taking her a week each and so we would get her every 3rd week and I dreaded our weeks. I was about 11 years old and my stomach would hurt so bad and anxiety through the roof. So, I say if kids are in the home it’s not the best decision. Just from my experience. I had to grow up fast and missed a lot of things most kids get to experience. My parents also ended up divorced a few years after they put her in a nursing home. I think it definitely had a toll in their relationship.
Sorry but that’s wife level shit and you’re not his wife. It would be a no from me.
With that grammar, I feel bad for the child you home school