I would just do the test but make him pay for it
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I 100% believe they should automatically be done I know too many girls pawning babies off on men that’s aren’t really the dad
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Take the test and let him have the peace in knowing it’s his baby and move on! A lot of men do this, especially if they think they can’t have kids
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Stop being so upset, you know the history, this emotional upset is not good for the baby. When the baby is born, let them check for their own piece of mind.
The way the world is now the way people behave. It is just a relief to have no doubt and no worries. Take the test with no problem, and have a Happy Beautiful family.
Have the paternity test after the baby is born, at that point its a simple cheek swab. Don’t let his side see the baby until the results are back.
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Get it done you got nothing to hide more to gain
Think about it …grand daddy
And daddy is insecure not you give them a piece of mind …baby needs love…
Not Suspicious minds
If I were ever asked for my kids, I would just do it. More so to show them that their thoughts are out of area and can then work on apologising to me.
If it were me, I’d take the test. Then if I still wanted to be with him and him me, I’d insist we go to pre-marriage counseling. If he refused counseling or didn’t participate, then I’m out.
As long as it’s not an amnio test and he’s willing to wait till after birth. I would do it. I’ve been woth my husband for 5 years married 3 and he jokingly said he wanted a dna test on our son that we had in October. I told him do it if that’s how he feels. Not offended or hurt cause I know his past.
So get the test. If it’s his child and you love him. Get the test.
If his family wants to pay for it than it can be done when the baby is born. No danger in a cheek swab.
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He seems a bit insecure but I would do it and when the test comes back I’d tell him that you were upset because you felt like he didn’t trust you. I think it’s a good idea to bring up therapy. The fact that he said you look guilty for being upset is ridiculous. He’s being manipulative and that’s abusive. He has his insecurities so he should deal with them but he should absolutely not be saying things like that. You’re allowed to be upset. He’s not allowed to minimize your feelings because he has his own issues.
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Having the past and experiences he has had I would say do it just as a reassurance for him.
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If you have nothing to worry about, then make him pay for the test and get it. You’ve been together for 6 months! He doesn’t know you from a hole in the wall. I’d be advising him to get a test no matter where he grew up or what happened to his brother. That’s a ridiculous thing to be hurt over. It’s like marrying a wealthy person when you’re broke. Don’t get angry because they want to protect themselves. Love them enough to sign the prenup, or in this case get the paternity test done. It protects everyone for when/if you all break up. The odds are in favor of that considering the circumstances. He needs that test for that real eventuality, to protect himself legally. The fact that you want to make this about you is immature and selfish, imo. Not everything is about you. It’s not about challenging your honor. This is about legal protection for all of you.
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To be fair the pregnancy should be an amazing time for you both as a couple, n whilst i agree you should get the test done i neither think ur immature or selfish its valid for u to feel lile this bit now to work on moving past it together x
The same thing happened to me just because his the one messing around he thought I was doing the same as him but I proofread him wrong did 2 DNA 
test both of them said he was the dad till this day he’s missing out cuz he Doesn’t take responsibility for his child so worried about and he can’t even be a dad to my child 
Just do it if you have nothing to hide boom problem solved
If he wants to spend money on a validation test then whatever right. You know the truth and you don’t hide it. He’s got trauma he needs validation.
I would just do the test you have only been in a relationship 6 months
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6 months in and you’re pregnant, stating women in his area try to trap men…
…honey give him the test so he can be sure you aren’t one of those women trying to trap him.
Between what happened to his brother and then the fact that he thought he couldn’t have kids for so long gives him a good reason to want a DNA test. I’m sure he doesn’t doubt you but if he thought he couldn’t have kids there will Always be that doubt and suspicion from not only him but his whole family. Trust me, getting the DNA test will save a lot of trouble. If you don’t get it the family will constantly be in his ear about what if every time y’all fight. This Way they can’t say anything. Do it to save yourself that trouble.
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Wow. If you have nothing to worry about just get the test
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I say get the test after the baby is born. When it shows that He is the dad, I would end the relationship with him because if he doesn’t trust you now he will never trust you.
Girl, get that test and rub it in his face and ask him to tell you how he really feels!
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I got pissed when my fiancé asked for a dna test. We were together for a long time and he still wanted one. He’s an ex for a reason now but it wasn’t all over a dna test
He just wants reassurance after he thought he couldn’t have kids for so long. Just do the test
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When I was pregnant with my 1st my bfs psycho family insisted I cheated on him and I was pregnant with someone else’s kid. They never said anything to my face he just told me what they said. Apparently they were talking about wanting me to take a DNA test. I had nothing to hide obv so I said hey if you want to fork out that money then I’ll gladly do it. She’s 2.5 now never had a DNA test and she looks exactly like her father. I don’t feel like not wanting to take a test means you’re hiding something. At first I thought the idea of it was ridiculous but honestly some people have some maddd insecurities 
good luck!
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Id do the test to reassure him. Its nothing you’d have to do publicly. Sometimes men need reassurance too
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Yes you are insulted because he asked for a paternity test but look at from his perspective. He spend most of his life believing he could not have children. He gets into a relationship with you, who already has a child and within 6 month you’re living together and your pregnant
Yes it a bit of shock and as a mom I can see where his father coming from. I’m sorry but I’d be a little suspicious if my son came home telling me the women he has known for 6 months is pregnant, after also believing he could never have children.
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I’d get the DNA done, then get rid of the whole man… Because obviously there isnt any trust in your relationship… and doesnt sound like theres gonna be any in the future…
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Just give him the test if u don’t have anything to worry about
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Give him the test, but you have every right to be hurt about it. When the test comes back as his, I’d maybe look into couples therapy so both of you can work on being able to communicate your feelings in a way that doesn’t hurt the other, as well as any trust issues (both his and any you may have toward him as a result of this). Your feelings are totally valid though.
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Why not normalise paternity testing, surely he has the same right to be as sure as you are?
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These are his insecurities I know it breaks your heart and its hard to wrap your head around because you have never been in his shoes. Insecurties are hard to deal with but if you love him you two will work this out remember these are his insecurities and I know your pregnant which emotions are high along with hormones but try not to let this bother you as much and know these are his problems with easy solutions. Good luck
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I mean he has the right and in my state if unmarried u have to have a paternity test for the father to be pit on the birth certificate. Considering yall have only been together six months it’s understandable. And after what happened to his brother I dont blame him at all.
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Also my fiance was positive it was his kid but his parents and family swore it wasnt so I got that piece of paper and through it right in their face. Like boom bitches and kiss my ass
I’m sure it hurts but his reasons are pretty sound, get the test.
I personally think it should be required that all men get a DNA test (married or not). We as women know it’s our child without a doubt, men do not get that. So many men get used and take care of children that are not theirs without knowledge.
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I have questions. Why doesn’t he drive? You make a point of putting that in there but why? Do you are already resent being the only one driving? All these people telling you to get the test or leave him and I’m over here like how many women did he sleep with unprotected to think he’s infertile? Does he have an STD? You’re just now at 6 months so your other child lives with basically a stranger. I personally would not be happy to be accused of cheating when I know I’m not so I would leave. You have another child to worry about and it can’t be good seeing mom cry all the time because you are unhappy. Get the paternity test once the kid is born and put him on child support.
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If I was him I would get a dna test to. I agree with ur bf. So I dont get why ur so upset about it.
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I’d be hurt at the accusation and he should understand why you’re upset instead of making you feel like you’re guilty.
That being said… he does have a right to know. He has a past and he told you that upfront. Imagine when that child is born and he completely neglects that child because he believes it isn’t his?
Just take the test, ease his mind, and you’ll come together stronger than before.
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I would just do it. If ur 100% sure than there is nothing to be upset about. I told my fiance if he wanted a DNA he could have one done on our youngest child bcuz his sisters was telling people he wasn’t his father etc…back story we had gotten back together and within 5 days i was pregnant. Our son come out looking like he just come out his butt 
i still told him if he wanted DNA to shut his sisters up he was more than welcome to it bcuz i had no doubts he was the father.
I mean where I’m from women can be rather shitty so if I was a guy I can’t say I wouldn’t feel the same. I’ve never denied either of my kids fathers a DNA test but only my daughter’s father wanted one. And I accepted and we got one. I knew 100% so I guess I feel it’s only fair for then to know 100% as well.
I think every man should have the right to take a DNA test! You know how many women have fooled men making them think that it was their child only to find out it wasn’t! You have nothing to worry about you know the child is yours, why not give him the same clarity?
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No if he doesn’t trust u then leave . They will do a ttest when baby born . I would not help or be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t trust me
Personally I think all unmarried couples should do dna tests…never know when you’ll need it…people change
Take the test! Why not?
I mean…my kids look like mini mes of their dad. Still did a dna test. Its a piece of mind damn. If no way its NOT his grow up and get the swab
Aww love i can see where your coming from to him its a miracle but he just needs to see that a test proves hes actually going to be adad after thinking i will never be a dad i dont hes seeing from your point of view he just wants to seenit on paper xx
Think of it this way. Hes openly communicating his insecurities. Hes letting you know what he and his family have been through. If you had insecurities that you let him know wouldnt you want him to do everything in his power to make you feel secure? Give him that same love and compassion you would want if theres nothing to hide it shouldnt even be an issue to feel hurt over knowing the familys past
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Listen::::: he has a right to protect himself… period. Im sorry you can’t see the big picture. I’m raising my boys to know, they have a right to a paternity test… even if he’s married to the girl. How many times In our lives do we trust someone just to find out we actually shouldn’t have put trust into that person? Probably more times to count. A child is a lifetime commitment and any man should be smart enough to get a paternity test.
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There’s NOTHING wrong with a man asking for a DNA test in today’s day and age. Nothing. Especially since y’all arent married.
Can you imagine what it would be like to raise a child…care for them on every level then find out years down the road that you’re not thier parent? And you only find out because the mom wanted to hurt you in the worst way? Unfortunately this is an all too common scenario in today’s day and age.
Even if paternity wasn’t a question in his eyes, establishing paternity through an official channel like a hospital gives him “extra” protection…the documentation that he is the father will be on record and it’s one less hoop that he would have to jump through to get visitation rights to his child if you two were to split up.
I understand being a little hurt at the percieved lack of trust…but you need to take a step back and see things from his perspective:
He didnt believe he was fertile and you have only been together six months, which is a very short amount of time for such a major life change.
Hes first hand witnessed the manipulation that some women possess when it comes to getting pregnant.
It’s a culmination of so many different factors, asking for a dna test gives him extra peace of mind. Peace of mind that will allow him to fully bond with his child and you as well.
Your level of anger and hurt over this request very honestly could look like a manipulation to persuade him to not go through with a test…especially if he’s seen it before.
Take a breath. Put your own thoughts and emotions on pause. Try really hard to imagine yourself in his position with all the things you know about him…his past…his family’s pass…and all the stories floating around of women intentionally trapping men (you can see it in mom and parent groups all the time)
What would you do in his position with all of these different factors?
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It’s understandable to be hurt or to be upset over this request as it questions your morals/ integrity. BUT it is also very understandable that after 6 months of dating he’d want a dna test. Not to mention all the family background and issues he has surrounding this. If it were me I’d get the test.
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I’d just get the testing done to prove it’s his. Once it’s proven his then, make clear your hurt feelings. Nobody likes it being implied that they are a cheater bc most “people” associate DNA test with the implied factor there being some sort of cheating, hints the testing needing done. So yes you have every right to be upset abt what getting the test done implies. But get it done, prove him wrong, he does have a right to know for sure. I do think he is trying to be open abt his feelings and struggles with what he has seen in his family. It does sound like there are some major trust issues that need to be worked out. Communication on both sides is important.
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It’s understandable that it’s offensive but if you have nothing to worry about just do it
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Just do it? If you know that’s 100% his child then don’t be nervous…
If it’s something that is creating anxiety for him why wouldn’t you want to take that away?
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Take the test maybe it’s hard to believe especially if he truly thought he couldn’t have kids u took the pregnancy test u kno it’s yours give him that same feeling I’m sorry your feeling down about it but I don’t think he’s coming From a bad place here just my opinion is that maybe he needs that connection u have!
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All these women talking about if he doesn’t trust you leave. Come on. He has every right to request a DNA test, and has a valid reason. The fact that your so upset by it make you seem guilty. Why not give him the test? Is there something your hiding? I can not believe how many women think its is out of line for a man to want a DNA test. 
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If there is nothing to hide there is no reason to be upset about the test. Just take it for his peace of mind
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My ex-husband was like this now my kids were the only kids that didn’t have to take a paternity test but there were a lot of females who tried to say that their kids were his… I would say don’t take it personally you already stated that he’s from a place where women try to trap men just do it and move on with your life
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Honestly I just get weird vibes about this whole post.
If there is nothing to hide, just do it.
Yes, I’d be pissed as hell if my spouse asked for a DNA test.
But if it comes back as his, rub it in his face 
Tell him I told you so and have him make it up to you?
Just weird you’d be put such a big fight.
Like I semi get where you’re coming from.
But he’s just curious.
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I completely understand your hurt feelings. It may feel like he’s just assuming you are cheating or doesn’t trust YOU. Think about it from his end tho. He hasn’t had a pregnancy with any other girl, he has personal history dealing with this. So in his mind all women think like that. He just wants to know 100%. It sounds like he believes you but has insecurities with trust in general. This very thing happened to my cousin where he was told the baby was his. He took care of the boy. He was even at the hospital when the baby was born and come to find out months later. The baby was his best friend’s brothers. So I know it sucks but I’d do the test and show him that not all women are like that and that it’s okay to trust. Like someone said in the earlier comments once it’s proven he’s going to be apologizing like crazy. So not only will you have a happy man, whom you’ve proven to him that trust is okay. You’ll also have the benefit of an apologetic man who is excited to be a father… and when pregnant that’s the best type
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Honestly I would just give him one it’s a mouth swab and then that’s it. If it gives him peice of mind do it.
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Just have it, maybe it’s a little offensive but in the grand scheme of life it’s simple!
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Agree with everyone that understands both sides. Feelings aren’t wrong. Your feelings of being accused aren’t wrong and his need to be sure isn’t wrong. I think it’s important to get the test.
Piece of advice, lots of men are told that a baby is theirs when it isn’t. Lots of men are trapped by women with the thought that those women can be shitty people but have a baby and keep a man around. You know the baby is yours, you will never have to question that. He’s witnessed too many situations where men he loved were lied to and hurt. Don’t let him be one of those men. It’s a simple test and at the end of the day if there’s nothing to hide life will resume as normal.
This thread is full of a bunch of assholes that make me ashamed to be a part of this group. Your feelings being hurt is 1000% okay. Mine would be too. Screw all these assholes on this thread.
Take the test get it framed and hand it to his ass on Father’s Day that’s what I did for my firstborn when her dad was questioning her being his because her skin was too white 
Just give him the test so you guys can move forward and not have to go through this again.
Just get the test. Just like you are certain its yours, he’d like to be certain its his. Just ease everyone’s mind and save the future problems. Take the test
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I hope you both understand each other’s side. I don’t think he is doing this because he thinks your cheated it’s for his own piece of mind. It’s simple. Don’t take it as a trust thing he just wants to put his mind at ease. I wouldn’t take offense to it. This is a baby and babies are easy to make. But for someone who hadn’t had an easy time of making them he just wants that reassurance.
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My husband asked for one when our first child was born. His reasoning, I told him that I shot another guy down. I told him that was fine, but I couldn’t be with him. My reasoning he married his ex wife, while she was pregnant, and he knew that it wasn’t his. I knew that there was no question as to who fathered my child. He opted against the DNA test, and she looks just like her daddy. (Meanwhile, we still pay child support for his ex wife’s child.)
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He trusts you and doesn’t think you cheated… but he wants a DNA test? Does he think it’s immaculate conception 
he obviously thinks you cheated. If he wants a test, let him pay for it when the baby comes. Dads always have a small question whether it’s their child or not because they don’t physically carry the baby so it’s not a stretch if he wants a test given his family situation.
This seams more like proving it to his family. You have nothing to hide and a simple test can get everyone off his back and give everyone piece of mind. Just take the test and then you can get all this behind you.
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I know how you feel, it’s really not that hard to understand. Your feelings aren’t invalid just because he can’t seem to Understand. Feeling hurt because someone thinks you’d do something you know you’d never do is totally acceptable. I’ve had my boyfriend say the exact same thing to me about looking guilty & I thinks it’s pretty damn stupid! Getting defensive doesn’t always mean someone is guilty.
He has a right to know if it’s his through DNA. It’s not that upsetting if that’s what happened to him. He was traumatized by something now he wants to be sure.
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You just gave enough reasons for him to question. You have ABSOLUTE certainty that that baby is his because you didn’t sleep with anyone else. Men don’t have that certainty, JUST trust. And if he has seen people get screwed over before, then he is going to be even more worried about it. Why not just do it?
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If he’s paying for it, just take it and put it behind you.
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He’s saying things like your feelings make you sound guilty, and he thought you’d be excited because of your go forward truthful attitude.
This is manipulative
This is coercion
This is control
Leave him before it gets worse.
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There is nothing wrong with getting a DNA test done - it’s more for him not because he thinks you cheated but for the fact he didn’t think he could produce a child with a woman for however long until you - it’s just the joy of knowing and seeing it on paper that he is really a dad. Sounds like he has had some crappy things in his life and this is something that is an over exciting thing for him and it really isn’t any disrespect towards you at all. Tell him to save up his money because they aren’t cheap if you want one to take to court at some given time. YOU know he is the daddy so it shouldn’t be an issue to pacify his true need for this. Good luck sweetie in whatever choice you make.
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I mean he has every right to ask, but that doesn’t equal that he trust you because he doesn’t. Trust is about taking someones word and I’m not saying this to be mean, but I doubt this will be the last time the trauma comes into the relationship. He’s probably a great guy and I’d just do it to ease his mind, but after then, I’d ask him to maybe see if he has any unresolved issues he needs to work on in therapy. It is definitely offensive, because the ONLY other reason you’d be pregnant is by sleeping with someone else, but I think with his past, it’s understandable why he has trust issues. Just do it, talk about it, get stronger as a relationship, and move on
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There’s nothing wrong with asking it’s sad your feelings should only be hurt if the baby is not his he had every right to get that test done just like you said his brother was taking care of a kid that wasn’t his I’m sure he doesn’t want to try the same situation but you are taking it way out of hand so seems like you’ve done something wrong
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I’m the same way. I know my boyfriend is the father but it seems a million different people want me to prove something? Like his sister won’t accept the baby as his until she sees a DNA test, like… You hardly know me, then apparently his work wants to know, etc. Its very heartbreaking and hurtful when you know with all certainty and people want you to prove something which you shouldn’t have to. I’m sorry honey, it’ll probably make your boyfriend feel bbetter. Doesn’t change a thing, but very emotionally upsetting
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If you have nothing to hide, then do the test. Wont hurt.
He’s insecure because of his past, and it’s only been 6 months. You really haven’t given him a solid grounding yet to 100% know if you will be faithful.
Some are together for 20 years and still cheat.
You’re taking it too personally.
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Let us know the outcome
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Say ok you may pay for a test if you wanna waste three or four hundred dollars
He has a right to know if the baby is his. But, why couldn’t he take a fertility test ro see if his semen is viable. If they are not, then the question of a DNA test comes into play.
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Hundreds it nothing to worry about it put his mind n most likely his family since his brother did raise a a that was not his.
All 4 of my boys was tested when they was born it was not because my husband didn’t trust me. It was to prove that they was all his to his family.
If you didn’t cheat, them you have nothing to hide. Take the test.
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It may hurt your feelings but it takes not even 5 minutes to take a test. Tell him if he pays for it you’ll do it, then him and his family will shut their mouths about it 
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My husband and I had the same issue. We both thought neither one of us could get pregnant etc but I got pregnant at 39 and he was 34. Our son looks exactly like him. I would tell him to wait until the baby is born if he believes you haven’t cheated etc. we didn’t need any paternity test lol
Maybe next time you make sure your boyfriends don’t come from an
“ AREA WHERE WOMEN TRAP MEN “
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He has given you valid reasons as to why he wants the test: thinking he couldn’t have children and what happened to his brother. If you were having doubts/insecurities of something, wouldn’t you expect him to do everything he could to ease your worries/make you feel better? I personally think dna tests should automatically be done at birth before paperwork for the birth certificate is given to the parents to fill out. That way no one can get offended because it’s the norm and everyone has peace of mind.
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He doesnt trust you bbcz of past trama sounds like he has somethings to work out.
But to stop bothering you. id take the test and move one.
No matter what he should of said " I believe you but with my my families past and my accident id like a dna test to prove to himself and his family . 
Good luck,
Congrats on the baby.
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If it’s his child… there should be no issue with allowing him to get one… he’s allowed to have his feelings and ask for one. I side with him… let the man have it and go on about it. He’s not condemning you by wanting one. 
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I would be hurt like you, but I would empathize with him after thinking more thoroughly because he was told he couldn’t have children. So based on that, I would get the test and probably forgive this one.
I would get it done and behind you. I think he is doing it so his family will get off his back
If he will pay for then what’s the harm?
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If u have nothing to
Hide just do it. He’s just scared
I would do it to shut him up but I would also be the one to ask him to move out right after he got the results.
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