You were in an abusive relationship, please don’t let decisions be made for you this time because you love him so much and you don’t want to do anything to lose him. Eat girl, don’t agree to anything, think about it and talk to people who you can trust about it.
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Aaaah duh really that …
Girl if this is how you are feeling let him know you are not ready, my partner kept asking me months back after 3yrs of being together and I almost ended the relationship multiple times just to try and sabotage it I wasn’t ready.
I’ve agreed to move in now and this time around I’m actually ok so please wait until you are 100% ready
He needs to sacrifice too not just you… I would try to agree to move somewhere in between the 2 of you. If he’s not willing to do that, I wouldn’t move.
Before you move further from your kids you should be pouring your focus into getting them back! If he really wants to help with that then get that going from where you both are and THEN when you have them back you can revisit the idea.
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It’s easier to move in than out how do I know I watch my daughter’s they didn’t listen either
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Get your custody sorted out then look to make changes. Maybe circumstances will change that could make it easier on him or you to move later on. Put yours kids first, get them away from an abusive parent and then focus on your love life living situation
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It’s only been a year. You don’t know him well enough yet to move in together. If it’s meant to be, you’ll last despite being apart. Reevaluate in another year. Don’t let him pressure you.
Also, hope you’re getting therapy for all the trauma you’ve suffered.
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If he really loved you he would make it easier for both of you not just himself
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Don’t do it. It should feel good to take a step like this. If it doesn’t it’s not right.
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DON’T do anything that makes you uncomfortable to that limit. You do not sound ready for that.
I don’t see an upside for you to make all the sacrifices. If he truly cared about you, he’d be willing to make your life easier, not more difficult.
Sounds like you already know the answer. If your questioning yourself just tell him your not ready. If he loves you he will wait.
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Stay where you are until you are absolutely sure.
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I did it and I regret it. Don’t do it. Give it more time and see if either of your situation changes and go from there
Red flags all over the place. Also if he’s not bothering with his own child what tells you he’s going to help you get yours back?
That will not look good that he doesn’t bother getting his own kid when you are trying to get yours.
I think you know that this relationship isn’t good for you but you stick around instead of being alone
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Valid…dont do it !
Listen to your gut feeling. The anxiety and you not being able to eat is your body’s way of saying this doesn’t feel good to you so don’t do it. I agree with the others. He should be willing to make it easier for you not harder. And I heard this line a long time ago and try to use it. “Follow peace” …If you don’t have peace about it, don’t do it.
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Moving in with someone with a complicated custody case, won’t help at all I think, and if both aren’t compromising and giving up some things, it’s not worth it.
If u have any doubts or concerns plez don’t move. If he’s mature he will understand. Right now he seems 2 b considering his conveniences first. I’d strongly advise u stay put where u r until custody is taken care of.
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It’s more simple than you’re making it out to be. Follow your gut. If you don’t feel like it’s the right thing to do, don’t.
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I would say… If you love him and he loves you and you are this conflicted then wait! Go with your gut. Something in there is telling you No.
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Nope has to be a halfway point is he reliable to get you to custody spot can you both afford a new car when yours goes or you stuck with his controll of the car
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Take your time on this
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Love yourself first! Trust your gut
Follow your intuition. It’s already giving you the answer you are looking for.
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I would say by your post you are not ready to leave your family and friends that have helped you heal from last situation. My advice is No.
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Definitely wait, if it’s real love yall will make it work till you find a option that is fair to both of you.
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If in doubt, don’t do it!!
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Trust your gut. He is being pushy and not considering how much he is inconveniencing you. He just wants it for himself.
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Don’t move stay where you are be smart don’t do it
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When in doubt, don’t.
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Why not find a spot in the middle?
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Nope don’t do all of the changes , he needs to compromise!!
I wish I had said no. I changed everything in my life, he did not.
You are wise. You just answered your own heart by having to ask . Your heart says no. Be wise, give this more time.
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Don’t, but talk to him about how you’re feeling and your concerns, that is the biggest way to find out how much he supports you and is understanding
This is my opinion, since you love him so much, you should tell him how you feel. He should be understanding and empathetic to your feelings. Tell him how it makes you feel with your past. He should hopefully be able to comfort you or come to an agreeance and meet you half way or somwthing. Good luck!
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Y’all are not ready to live together.
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DNT move!!! Stay where ur at…if he’s not willing to move & change his situation & surroundings he’s not the one for u. Sounds like a narcissist in the making.
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Both of you negotiate, meet in the middle somewhere xxx
- If a man loves you he will move mountains to be with you.
Follow your instincts. - It’s suspicious that no men have commented on this.
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I wouldnt do it. Ur already giving up enough having 2 drive 2 hours 4 ur kid and having 2 drive almost an hour 2 see him. I understand that once u start taking care of someone it’s hard not 2 get attached so it’s hard 2 ask 2 give that up. HOWEVER relationships are give and take if hes not willing 2 give then u shouldn’t either. U are more than capable of fighting a custody battle urself and most judges wont care 4 his opinion unless u 2 are married.
We have been brainwashed that we must be married ,we must have children to be a complete human being. No sex , no one living with you and that is complete joy.
If you move now and already feel this way it will grow into resentment, don’t bend over backwards to accommodate a man again, it sounds like you did that for long enough already.
Red flag… he wants you to depend on him thats how it starts. Stick with what you built for yourself. You give that up the your screwed.
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Always trust your instincts. You know in your heart. Trust yourself first. Trust your experiences. Maintaining two households, financially stay where your at, until you do trust.
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My red flag was he doesnt pick up his kids. You have kids you are trying to get back be careful with that. I personally feel you dont need to move in with him. Wait to see what happens if you get custody of your children back.
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No, no, no. Another abuser!
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Sounds like you just aren’t ready to move yet. Its ok to live alone and your boyfriend should be ok with that. But you need to have an open and honest conversation with him about it
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Trust your gut. And if you’re going for custody, your ex will use your moving farther away against you. Put your kid first.
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Maybe try talking to him about meeting in the middle? Find a place together in between the both of you! Talk about your feelings to him and if he doesn’t care then you have your answer.
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If you don’t know what to do don’t do it
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With as many “cons” as you have listed, you need to listen to that inner voice that is telling you DO NOT DO IT!! No where did you list a positive reason for moving in with him, so that has to say something about this relationship.
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Listen to your head & gut! Your child custody is your #1 goal along with your mental well being. Keep your independence & self worth. If this is a healthy relationship he will respect your decision & give you room to grow.
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If it makes you uncomfortable then don’t do it or renegotiate. Relationships are give and take which means you need to meet half way. Part of you resisting is bc of the trauma you endured and that’s normal. Find a middle ground and both of you need to be open and receptive to the needs of the other
- Listen to your gut 2. Stay close to your children and always put them first 3. He may have good intentions but doesn’t realize that he is putting you in a hard spot so just express your anxieties and try to find a middle ground if he really wants to live with you maybe he can move in with you right now because right now sounds like you are having custody battle issues and moving away will make it harder. Believe me I know from experience as being the child in that situation and having my mother move father away made it harder for her to get her to see us more and had it harder with her with gas money and her car issues so stay closer until your money and car issues clear up if that is the issue etc. 4. Just again trust your gut and talk with him because communication is key in taking relationships to the next level. Good luck
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Don’t do it. You need to show this judge you are stable by yourself and not living with a bf of 1 year!
Compromise and move halfway between both. That way, you’re both giving up something
Stay where you are sweetheart. After all you’ve been through the last thing you need is to take a step back. Look to the future, but a happy future for you and your child. Good luck 
Seriously? You’ve only been dating this guy for a year. You don’t need to upend your entire life for someone you barely know. And from the way you described the situation, it sounds like you don’t want to move. So don’t. Don’t rationalize that which you don’t really want to do.
You are under exactly ZERO obligation to move, and the fact that you are so stressed about it should be a huge red flag to you.
Sounds to me like your mind is already made up … Your not even healed from your abuser I say go with the FACTS stay where you are and thrive not just survive.
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Sounds like you already have the answer. (No)
If you really read behind the lines…you’re giving up everything you worked to gain back…including independence…you now have to rely on him to transport to custody pickup…its sometimes hard to recognize that you are following old patterns…after years of abuse you deserve things to be on your terms right now…if thats not good enough for him…he’s not the right one …you need to fully love yourself and put your needs and your feelings first…the mere fact you have to seek advice cause you don’t know…says you’re not ready…love yourself…heal and when its right it will be right…
It sounds familiar like your mind is already made up.
You don’t sound ready.
Well then if its causing you so much anxiety your body is telling you loud and clear no and this time please listen to it
I agree with Lynn , your child comes first. You’ll regret not trying to get her back
Red flags flying all over! Abort abort. If you have to ask, that is your answer.
Don’t go. You likely feel obliged to please him and you may feel you will lose him if you don’t agree, that’s a side effect of abuse. Take time to heal yourself on your terms, it will build resilience. A relationship should compliment, not control you
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I personally would not move if I were you. if you can not sit down and explain your reasons for not moving to him and him understand and respect that then he’s not the right person for you. you should be able to talk to your person about what scares you and what concerns you have in a relationship. if you can’t do that then you’re not actually in a relationship. trust your gut and don’t do something you don’t want to and that you feel you will regret later.
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Ron, do not walk, from him. Do not move further away from your children. If you do this, this is the start of you choosing him over your kids.
If you have to question it , then your answer is obvious…
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Trust your gut. A wise person once told me “When you don’t know what to do- do nothing.”
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You are getting into a situation that could turn into your last relationship. Trust your instinct and don’t move.
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You are already answering this for yourself… you don’t want to do it so don’t do it. If you end up doing this you will be resentful, you already sound like you are resenting him. I think you need to focus on getting your child back and I know he is offering to help and drive, but do you really want to become dependent on someone else. A year isn’t a long time, I think you need to not rush into moving in with someone… stay close to your family and if he is worth it he will understand.
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By asking what you should do…you’ve pretty much answered your own question. If you aren’t 100% positive its what you want to do then don’t do it.
If your boyfriend doesn’t understand that’s really his problem. I understand you love him but is that love worth doing something you really don’t want to do and then you end up being miserable? You have to think of your happiness not someone elses. Goodluck!
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Trust Nobody, do what’s best for you. what I’m being told.
Your correct. You should not move. If he wants you closer then May be you both should get a place in between so your each close to where you need to be. Just my opinion
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You’ve already answered your own question.
“This situation is giving you so much anxiety that you haven’t eaten for days” .
Do not let another make you compromise what you know is in your best interest !
In my opinion, moving FARTHER from all that you have fought to build on your own is a step in the wrong direction.
I know you love him, and maybe he’s the one. ,but it sounds like you’re not completely comfortable with what he is suggesting.
Maintain your independence, work on you, get your baby back and see where the relationship is then.
Best of luck.
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Which is more important?? A year of dating Doesn’t mean a lasting commitment. You seem to be giving more, but this would be more convient for him. Do want You want, make sure no regrets.
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Trust your gut! Stay where you are sweetie. Sounds to me like you’re having to give a lot more on this.
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You are giving everything & he’s giving nothing. Don’t do it, hell have you cut off of everything. CONTROLING…
Trust your instincts. Continue seeing him. Just pay attention to how things are between you. I always say all or nothing. Guess marriage is not in the picture? People just don’t do anymore. Prayers that it works out for both of you!!
You deserve marriage before moving to him & why not compromise & both you guys move ? Children also should be a priority.Whatevet is best for them 1st.
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I don’t know you but it sounds like you’re just changing one bad relationship for another
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When in doubt … do nothing. You have all these reservations for a reason.
Your feelings are valid, they always are. I don’t know why people act like they aren’t allowed to feel how they feel but you are. 
Trust your gut! Don’t move away from your family!!
You’ve stated several reasons that would give you anxiety… Change and the unknown are scary … It would be unwise of me to advise you to stay or go based on a paragraph … I will encourage you to pray about it and ask God to give you clear direction and peace … I will be praying for you also … 
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Trust your gut…also, instead of moving in with him consider getting a new place together- located between your current homes.
The simple answer you already said it … Nope … Don’t compromise your happiness for some man’s convince girl . He’s not going to marry you he just wants you to be more convenient for him . Trust your gut he is not your dude and you know it 
Please donot do it,IF YOU do,After awhile you will see his more true colors and regret ya listened to him,
Don’t do it. If you don’t want to…DON’T. If things are meant to be, they will work themselves out.
Why don’t you both move to someplace equal distance in between where you currently live.
Too soon
Don’t adjust your life for him.
I see a red flag by the mention that he rarely picks up his child from school. Seems to lack commitment and accountability. He sounds immature and maybe just looking for a more convenient playmate. I really can’t see him assisting in you in regaining custody of your children and extra responsibilities! By pointing out that you would become more dependent on him for transportation is also a red flag. Hold onto your independence ! Give him the chance to love you enough to let you be where you need to be !
Focus on getting custody of your child/children. That’s what’s most important. Would you want to be the child getting to move back in with mommy and her new boyfriend? A boyfriend you haven’t been around? A stranger you know nothing really about? Slowly introduce the possibility of moving in together once your child is comfortable and in a routine with you. Don’t spring another surprise on them. The entire ordeal is going to be an initial adjustment, do those things in small steps.
Don’t move in! You need to put your child and yourself first. If his love is mutual he’ll move with you!
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You, kids and family are what’s most important and the ones that will love and support you…if you have trouble deciding make a list of the pros and cons