My boyfriend wants to be "just friends"...but I am pregnant...advice?

My boyfriend of 1 year told me he wants to be “just friends” from now on…I am madly in love with him and he throws this on me…not only that, but I found out I am pregnant and was planning on telling him in a cute way and now I feel like I can’t because I dont want it to seem like I am trying to trap him…I am lost and hurt…how do I move on from this? What do I even say to him?


Just because he wants to be just friends doesn’t mean he can’t be a father, but you can’t guilt someone into wanting to be in a relationship with you. If he’s done with being your boyfriend then you have to let him go even though it will hurt.

You should still tell him that he’s going to be a father though because he’s also responsible for the baby


I know what’s It’s like to be in love with someone that isn’t in love with you. It’s hard. It really sucks. And being friends while in love is very hard. I’m sorry your experiencing this. However, you can’t force it. He still needs to know that your pregnant. Even if yall aren’t together, he can still be a good dad. Just tell him, except it and try to move forward. Distract yourself , focus on you and baby.


Devastating, but i’d rather find out now he wasnt going to live up to the expectations you had in mind. Hopefully he can be a good dad. And you deserve better.

1 Like

He’s ending things romantically and the “just want to be friends” bit is a way to let you down easy. Tell him anyway because he has a right to know & of course if you want him in the child’s life but don’t let yourself get caught up in an endless merry go round trying to get back together if that’s not what he wants. Save yourself from that :heart:


Well you should tell him! And don’t let anyone no matter what confuse you to not keep the baby.

He will will either come around when you tell him or you will be just fine take care of you! Babies are precious they are a gift :white_heart::pray::hugs:


You have to think about what’s going to be the future for you and your child. Yes he does deserve to know if he’s going to be a father. I would discuss it with him and tell him that it’s not a way to trap him but he is going to have to take responsibility and help with raising this child. Hopefully both of you are mature enough to do so. I would also contact a lawyer and get everything written down in that just wait to see what he might just give you. That way there’s no going back and forth as far as what you are going to need to take care of this baby. Hopefully he has a good job. And hopefully you two will make it work one way or another and for that child you should try your best.

You should tell him. Reassure him you do not expect to get back together. However, you do expect him to take responsibility for the child and coparent with you.


Let him go but let him know he is about to be a dad, and hoping he will co-parent with you in a healthy way.


Tell him and don’t focus on him. Keep yourself distracted, get a self guide book, talk to friends who have been through this before. Focus on yourself and being healthy for your baby.


OOPS!! Just friends, too late!! Step up and take the responsibility of your actions!!

He can be a fantastic dad and co-parent if you give him the chance. But you can’t make him love you if he doesn’t want to be in a relationship with you.

Its important to have financial support for your child, even if he doesn’t want a relationship.This is important for the child to have love from both parents, even if he doesn’t step up the financial support is some of the love your child deserves. Telling him is your choice, if you choose to keep your child it will be important to know that both you & bub deserve support no matter if he only want to be friends…it is something he needed to think about before he was involved good luck.

1 Like

The truth is always best.

1 Like

I would say yes we can co parents as friends

You need to decide what you want to do 1st x try and move on without him and sort yourself out and see how you feel about the baby and once you have decided then tell him xx but if he said lets make it work dont as he is leaving for a reason and shouldnt stay just because your pregnant xx


I was in this situation once… it was really hard! I decided to work on healing myself and working on self love. I ended up miscarrying. I’d just tell him babe… don’t do what I did with extreme worry as it’ll be what it’ll be. You can do this!!


He should know you’re pregnant. Be honest with him. Tell him that you were planning on telling him and I’d tell him you two need to sit down and talk about what your friendship and relationship are going to look like


You need to tell him right away , he deserves to know and to maybe even change his mind. The longer you wait the worse it will be as he will feel like you are trapping him…say ok friends is fine but your baby would love to have a relationship with his daddy.

1 Like

Just tell him the truth, don’t hide the pregnancy, he’ll either step up or step out either way you’ll know where you stand!

1 Like

Wow… sounds like he met someone else. Therapy and separation for sure!


Give yourselves both space, heal, and at 3 months when all is more stable with the baby, tell him… Then you can both move ahead more clear headed as co-parents.

1 Like

Tell him. But I’d probably skip the cute way. Make sure you have paperwork to prove it for that specific reason.


He can still be a good dad even if y’all aren’t together. Definitely still tell him you’re pregnant.


He may want some space because he’s scared of his own feelings for you. Let him have that space. If you want this baby then continue with the pregnancy and wait to tell him for like a month or whenever you feel like you won’t be trapping him anymore. He may just want some space because he’s scared of getting hurt. Give him some space and let him figure it out for a couple weeks or a month and see how he feels then.

Oh boy!!! The only way is be truthful ! Tell him you just want to co parent and be friends ! No matter what, he doesn’t want to be your boyfriend anymore. so that is something that you just have to accept whatever you do, don’t beg and cry for him to stay with you . It will just push him away all together!

Ummm you tell him you are pregnant and what he does after that will show who he really is and maybe change your mind about how in love you are with him


Tell him you need time to process what he is suggesting- and then do a consultation with an experienced family lawyer in your state BEFORE you tell him anything. State laws vary about custody/paternity. Mistakes made early on can hurt you down the road when it comes to custody and/or child support. Family court is no joke.


Just simply tell him " I understand the timing is really shitty given we have broken up and are on friendship terms but I thought I’d still do the right thing and let you know we are having a baby, I heard you when you said you just want to be friends and as much as It hurts please don’t feel obligated to come back."


Well you still gotta tell him. Not sure I’d want him to stay in a relationship with me if that’s how he feels. It would be nice if he would be a good co-parent and help raise his child.

1 Like

Just wait a little longer to tell him. Let him know that you’re good with breaking up, as I wouldn’t stay with someone who told me that. But I wouldn’t stay “friends.” After you’re further along, let him know the due date of when he will be a father.


Well you do definitely need to tell him just not in a cute way. You move on because you have a baby and new future to look forward to and if you and this guy are supposed to work out then you will. You move on by letting yourself be sad about it and give yourself time to heal.


Just tell him, but also tell him you aren’t interested in being more than friends because that’s what he wanted before he knew about the baby


It’s a hard spot to be in. I dont envy you having to go through this alone so I hope you have a support network outside of him because you’re going to need it. But he does need to be a father so try to focus on simply being friends at best, at worst being civil enough to hopefully raise this child together. What ever happens next though is not something you can control so please do get that support network around you for yourself and that child.


Leave him a positive test and just leave him alone until he asks about it. Tell him he broke up with you so it’s nothing special. Just thought he should know and continue to leave him alone until he makes a decision… Because his true colors will show. If he wants a part of it, he will stay and make things work. But if not, you know how he feels about it.


Get ready to be a single mom

Tell him and live on start fresh

Tell him he has a responsibility.

My advice would be to start focusing on yourself. Don’t let anyone else’s opinion alter the decisions you make for what is best for YOU. Still tell him that you are pregnant (if you think it’s best to keep the baby)… but if you tell him and he decides he wants to be in a relationship with you again, DECLINE, no matter how much you love him. He would only be doing it because of the baby, and you’ll waste your time with someone that doesn’t love you for you, only staying for a baby… good luck girl. This isn’t easy at all, just try to make it through with all the decisions that would be best for you.

  1. you tell him the truth that you’re pregnant
  2. you can’t force him to be with you regardless if you in love with him or not (you’re in the lust stage which feels like in love)
  3. you guys barely know eachother because in 1 year you don’t know a persons true colors unless they genuinely show the true colors
  4. you just move on you get into therapy and you focus on your pregnancy then your baby and yourself

He’s got another girl already. Keep your pride and walk away. Don’t say anything. He’s already moved on.


Be just friends…you can coparent without being together

Just tell him, then let him stew for a bit.

Be straight up and tell him you’ve got a bun in the oven
Chances are he will still just want to be friends and that’s ok
If he truly wants to be friends
He will give you support as a friend during the pregnancy and after the baby is born
But not as a partner
Don’t use the pregnancy as a way of keeping him
It will only end with resentment
And your child will be the one who suffers the most

I believe that you believe you are in love with him
You have a right to have your feelings
But he also has a right to his feelings

You tell him, you’d be super selfish to not say something just because he doesn’t feel the same way about you anymore. Don’t be a mother who lets their child miss out on a father because he doesn’t want to be with you, grow up it’s not high school.

Tell him your pregnant and then say okay to juat being friends nothing else you can do

Go to doctor and get a certificate stating that your baby will be born in 9 months and that he will be responsible for all bills. That he is welcome to go to the hospital with you. That he will be responsible for child support and all medical expenses. Also, daycare and school tuition for 18 years. HE HAD HIS FUN.

1 Like

You need to tell him that you pregnant. It’s not fair for you not to say anything about that. I would start looking for a place for you and the baby. Things are going to get hard.

just think of your baby. & move on, But he does need to know, because he is the father & he needs to step up & support your baby.

1 Like

He’s a day late and a dollar short. Y’all can be ‘just friends’ but that doesn’t absorb him of his child support responsibility… So really ditch the just friends and be just co-parents. Tell him ASAP if you intend on following through with the pregnancy.


Stop right there. He doesn’t want to be in a relationship with you so let him go. He can choose to be father or not. Don’t force him just because you want him back. Move on .


That is how you should’ve responded to his o wana be pregnant. Well sir we are going to be parents. Regardless it won’t change how he feels but it’s best to let him know


You move on by taking it one day at a time. Give him a friendship card with a positive pregnancy test inside and sign it: thank you for wanting to be my best friend for at least the next 18 years, your child and I will appreciate your support.

Wait to tell him about the pregnancy until you’ve had a doctors appointment confirming it.
So sorry you’re going through this. I went through a similar situation last year. My boyfriend of six years broke up with me when I was 22 weeks pregnant with our daughter. We did eventually work it all out, but it has not been easy.
Hang in there.


You can’t make someone want/ love you. Time to move on. Tell him that you’re pregnant but make sure that you tell him that you knew before he said what he said so he knows that you’re not trying to trap him. Let him be in the child’s life as much as he wants because at the end of the day he’s still the father. Next time don’t rush into having a child. Good luck!!!


Tell him you found out your pregnant and move on.

Well he has a lot of nerve! Friends my ass!
Let him go,there had to be signs you ignored ,get a medical confirmation, lean on your support group(family,friends),he’ll probly deny it,probly will have to get a dna done,then file for child support , .

1 Like

A good start would be telling him that it’s good he wants to be friends because that means you will co parent very well.

Please do not take him back if he says he wants to stay with you. You will be miserable and do will your child. Good luck

He would probably want a dna test and rightly so.

1 Like

Move on with life. Tell him and don’t give I need you attitude. Spend time with close friends.

You obviously got pregnant before he said that to you so I wouldn’t look at it as a “trap”. You definitely should tell him. He can still be a father even if he’s not in a relationship with you.

1 Like

My advise is to let him go. Tell him about the pregnancy, but don’t continue a relationship. He may try now that you’re pregnant. A lot of people try to make it work for the baby, but truthfully he told you how he feels and that most likely won’t change. Save yourself the heartache of a breakup after the pregnancy. I’m sorry this happened to you. Good luck


Id tell him.Just focus on you and the baby from here on out.

You CAN be friends and coparent. You do not have to be together in a relationship. My kids dad and I are good friends, we coparent amazingly well and our kids benefit greatly.

Be honest and tell him you’re pregnant and that you want to prioritize your friendship for the sake of your child, and that you respect that he doesn’t want to be in a relationship. Focus on you and baby.


You don’t want someone that doesn’t want you.


I am so sorry he’s broken up with you. Find you a new place to live. Tell the people in your life who actually care about you and support you. Find a therapist bc this gonna be hard. I would tell him but wait until after the pregnancy is confirmed by the OB. Only talk to him about the pregnancy. Ignore anything else he has to say. If he wants to be a coparent give him the chance. Go through legal channels.


U need to tell him regardless he has that right he can still be a good dad wheather ur together or not but I wouldn’t wait he’ll find out eventually as ur belly grows & then I wouldn’t want him 2 resent u because he’ll feel like u hid it from him …ppl sometimes better off apart ut doesn’t mean their bad ppl

best thing to do is jus go ahead & tell him straight up. y’all jus have a sit down on how you’re going to coparent! hope you feel better tho🫶🏻

Ask him what he wants to do … and go from there … there’s your answer …

You tell him fine…we’ll just be friends…but you’ll be paying child support for the next 18 years because I’m pregnant with your child. Then you find yourself a lawyer and make sure you have full custody when your child is born


I would straight up say, even if I’m not, I’m cool with being just friends but you should know I am pregnant.

Just tell him goodbye. He can still be a father, but you don’t want to try to force a relationship with someone that doesn’t want it

Those feelings will change tell him your pregnant and make a plan to co parent would be my best advice


There’s no rush to tell him about the pregnancy. Wait until you’ve had a few Dr appointments and if the pregnancy is healthy and all that. Take a step back from him for YOUR sake. Give yourself time to heal and figure out how you feel about the pregnancy separate from him. Then when you are more emotionally stable and the sting of the break up has faded. Then tell him about the pregnancy. Telling him now will only come across as manipulative whether that’s the intent or not. It’s also still so early. The last thing you want/need is for you to tell him, it blow up and then you possibly miscarry but then that will make it seem as tho you made the whole thing up to try and get him back. It’s such a tough spot to be in and I’m truly sorry you’re going through this. But waiting to tell him will also help you to gauge where he really stands. If he is serious about maintaining a friendship and shows he does care about you— only not in a romantic sense… you will be able to tell by his actions. You’ve got this!


You and your baby move on With dignity. If he is still around he will figure it out. Then go from there.

I would tell him but keep your distance. Make him aware of your appointments and such. If he does have a change of heart and states he would like to try to save the relationship I would try to found a counselor and both of you go to therapy to see if you can make it work. If you can’t then maybe with the counselor you both could talk with the counselor and come up with a plan on coparenting and doing what is best for you both and your child. At the end of the day doing what is best for your child is key. If you can’t be together but your child sees both parents working together and having a healthy coparenting relationship it will be the best for you all in the long run. You both deserve to have as much time together with your baby. I wish you the best of luck with wherever life leads you all.

1 Like

You can’t make someone love you but you can make someone help take care of the baby. Tell him because it’s the right thing to do for the baby. But focus on getting over him so you can start over with someone that cares after a while

Tell him it’s a little late to be just friends

Exactly what you just said to us, is what you say to him.

Take your baby and go!! Don’t tell him… you need nothing from him! Tell him… put him on the birth certificate… you now share the child. :woman_shrugging:


He needs to be told the truth . And while you guys may be just “ friends “ he can be a father and support his child physically and emotionally and financially. He should have thought about being “
Just friends “
Before he had sex with you

Tell him you are pregnant but do not get back together with him. You know how he feels and him staying with you for the baby is only going to end in him resenting you (and possibly baby) for making him stay where he doesn’t want to be.

Move on and quickly. For yourself and child.
He is not the one.

1 Like

Just tell him “this really hurts, especially since I’ve been trying to plan the best way to tell you that we are having a baby. But if you would prefer to be friends and coparents, we can raise our baby separately. I would never try to keep you out of his or her life unless you were unsafe (drugs, etc). I love you and I wish you well.”

If you two are meant to be, he will come around. If not, you deserve a man who loves you as much as you love him. I know this hurts, but it’s still better than if he was making a fool of you and using you and pretending he felt the same way. Huge hugs! :heart:

Girl he broke up with you …step back.

Get custody and child support set up and learn to co-parent.

This man doesn’t romantically want you and you don’t want to have romantic feelings for him while getting nothing in return. That’s toxic and teaches your child toxic.

There is someone out there for you and it isn’t this fool…don’t waste any more time or energy on this situation


Babe, start by hitting reality, and the reality is, that he isn’t your boyfriend. My suggestion would be to make a decision based on that reality. That decision is up to you because trust and believe the person saddled with that kid will be you and just you. Doubt he will be involved and if he is it won’t be past child support. :woman_shrugging:t2::woman_shrugging:t2::woman_shrugging:t2: do YOU.

1 Like

so he dumped you. pretty easy. you’re a single mom

Tell him now not later if you wait sure enough he’s going to try and say it’s not his kid.

Well you should have known that you’ll were having issues. He is still the dad he has a right to know


“I just wanna be friends” is a nice way of saying “I don’t like conflict. I want to break up”. 75% of the time they ease out, find a new gf, then ghost you. The other 25% of the time, they only come around for intimacy or when they need something. If you’re planning on continuing the pregnancy, you need to start making single mama plans. Also, be prepared for the whole “She baby trapped me” or “she’s lying” or “that ain’t my kid” fight.

Don’t tell him just yet cause u don’t want someone to be with you out of guilt. But definitely save this post also so he doesn’t try to pull the it’s not mine bs down the road. :roll_eyes:

Tell him you have enough friends and block him.


As hard as it may be ,pull up your big girl panties. Don’t guilt him into staying with you, he’ll wind up resenting you. You may love him and it will hurt but I can guarantee you that he doesn’t love you the way you love him. It will be hard but you can do it. Single Mom’s do it every day

Throw that man in the bin

1 Like

Well, you got yourself in this mess you can find a way out. Choose better next time. 


I wouldn’t tell him yet. If you tell him now and he stays, you’ll always wonder if he’s with you for you, or his child.

Well duh, you already tried to trap him by getting pregnant, didn’t work did it, you had to have known he wasn’t committed to you, you probably just ignored the signs. Looks like being a single mom is in your future…paternity, child support, visitation, leave him now!!!


How did he feel about being a dad when you had that discussion as a couple?

It’s his child tell him the rest is his business

Personally now I wouldn’t keep the child.