Hey mamas. I’m looking for new mommy advice. I’m an FTM to a two mo. My bf is 22, and I’m 20. My birth was traumatic (emergency c section) etc. etc. While I was recovering, my bf was very helpful/encouraging. Now he flipped. He always points out my flaws with everything I do when it comes to our child. He complains about everything I do, and I don’t do anything right. I’m a SAHM and do college online while he works. I’m lonely and rarely see friends. He says he can’t help during the night because he works ok, fine. But he barely helps out at all! For example, we’re about to eat dinner, and I have to feed the baby first. I’ll ask him to feed the baby, and he says, “no, I have to eat too.” Mamas, how can I make this better? We’re both first time parents. It’s starting to really get to me. I don’t even know when he told me I’m doing a good job. Thanks for listening to my rant. Any advice/stories are greatly appreciated.
Communication is key. It starts there.
Communication and teamwork. He works away from the home, you take care of your child all day. When he gets home you two should be a team! It’s still early and you guys need to get on the same page fast!
Ma’am you don’t vneed his crap leave
Doesn’t matter if he works, he’s not exempt from helping with his child. Talk to him and explain how you feel. Teamwork helps.
I felt the same with my hubby when I had my daughter. I was exhausted and at my breaking point and he would plop ass in the recliner. I finally just exploded and said " I need your help"…he ended up helping out alot and is an amazing involved dad to our daughter. Just communicate and I think it will get better💗
Develop a daily routine and schedule that works for both of you with clearly outlined expectations you each need to meet for the day.
Throw the whole man out. You cant make him grow up and take accountability. Making your choice to take care of you and your baby with out hin dragging you down would be YOUR BEST OPTION!
You can talk for the rest to of your life nothing is going to happen to if he’s not coming going to do anything talk can is Cheap
Hand him the baby and go lock yourself in the bathroom and take a bath. He’s a parent too. When he’s home, childcare should be 50/50.
Get on the same page and quick or you will never be any better! It’s his child too, remind him of that and it does not all fall on momma. If he grew up in that environment good luck converting him. Stand your ground!
Hand him that baby while you go do what you need to do…I don’t know why women seem to think they have to ask the father of THIER child for help…they are just as responsible for that child as much as the mother. I’m not judging… I’m just saying to not let him get away with stupid excuses. He needs to grow up!
give him the baby and say feed it-it is your child just as it is mine-if he don’t help-tell him you going to give it away to someone that wants it-can’t raise child by yourself
Your doing a wonderful job don’t let him tell you any different. Sometimes they can only see how much you do how hard it is how stressful but also how wonderful until they are put in the position where they need to do it for themselves sometimes it only takes a couple hours. I would try to talk to him about things tell him how under appreciated you feel, stressed & how you would really like some help. But be very careful about how you say how your feeling try to steer clear from saying how little he does because he will feel like your saying he is a bad dad or that you are blaming him, make sure you use a lot of I terms instead of you’d for example I am feeling really overwhelmed and would really love a little bit of down time to myself. Instead of you need to help out more you don’t do anything to help with baby even if it’s true. Because even if you could get him to watch little one for two hours it would help open his eyes to all that you do. Good luck don’t be down on yourself it all g,ets very stressful!
I would start by having a talk with him and asking him what he thinks the role of a father is? Parenting is the responsibility of both parents. Does he not think taking care of a baby all day is “work?” He should be picking up the slack on other household duties as well. If he doesn’t want to feed the baby, he should be cooking dinner. He is a grown man, he can feed himself then.
Well tolk 2 him
Ask him tell him your needs also u both have to work together in order for u both 2 be happy
I’m a 21 ye old sahm and my boyfriend is 23 and leaves for work at 7:30 and doesn’t come home until 6:30 and he does absolutely everything with our little one from the second he wakes up to the second he leaves and same with when he comes home until we go to sleep. Being a stay at home mom IS work in itself. You either need to sit him down and tell him things need to change or I would leave.
Dont serve dinner until baby is fed. He can make his own meals
Communication…work or not its his kid he can help. But you cant force someone to be a parent when they dont want to be.
Get a job outside the home. It sounds like he may be bitter about you staying at home. Talk about it with him. Ask him honestly if he’s bitter you stay at home?
Is there another father around that can help set things straight? He might need another man’s perspective in order to smarten up.
Dude…my ex did this same thing to me. If he did one thing for me he threw it in my face for months. Finally he left me for a girl he met at work. She was working and I was a lazy POS because I was at home all the time…I gave birth to an 8 lb healthy baby out of my vagina I drove him around everywhere and took him to job interviews. No matter what I did I was never good enough for him. I’m glad it’s over though I’m a better mom without him. He dragged me down. I hated myself
Put your food down remind him that the baby belongs to both of you not just him he is the father, and he needs to stop complaining when he does not even help out. It’s disrespectful and he needs to know that it’s not ok. Tell him things needs to change or you are done because you don’t need to be struggling taking care of baby on your own while being scrutinized and disrespected for everything you do.
My husband was the same way. Didnt really care to help. Came home and would just sit here relaxing nc he worked all day or just wouldn’t come home until he was ready to eat yell at me and pass out from being wasted. Needless to say aside from money he didnt help with 2 of our 3 kids. Our oldest is 15 come the 8th. He’s helped much more with our 3rd. It took him a long time to grow up. Dont wait. Tell him step up or step the fuck out. He is the father he needs to help and bond with the child.
If he doesn’t want to support you…move on
You’re both stressed. He’s constantly worrying about the baby and making enough money to support you, the baby, and diapers. Its only been 2 months. Just have a heart to heart with him and just remember that he’s just as stressed as you.
I realized early in my marriage when I was younger that when we had kids , it meant I had a kid. He still went out, hung with friends, never helped with the kids. They went everywhere I went even if he was home. I grew up pretty quick. We divorced after three kids and nine years. He had zero contact with his kids until our oldest was in her late twenties and she contacted him to go to where he was with my grandkids so he could meet them. He died two weeks later from cancer he didn’t know he had and never got to meet them. His loss!!
Let him know that the sooner he helps red the baby the sooner he gets to eat and that you are only one person with only 2 hands and that you are not the only parent. Get another father around y’all to talk to him and get him to understand that it can’t all be on you and only you and that he needs to spend time with his baby.
I dont get why some are saying leave him… like come on ,really? They are young hardly any experience on their own probably. She probably hasnt tried communicating. Just because hes making mistakes doesn’t mean he is awful and a horrible guy or father. Some guys dont get it right away.
Read the 5 love languages. Remind him that you also have needs. He is a person outside of being a father, and you are a person outside of being a mother. Don’t ask for time to yourself. Take it. Sit and have the discussion that while he is home he is a father and that is a 24/7 job for him too
You need to sit down with him and have a serious talk about how he is treating you and helping with the baby and if he can’t help or stop putting you down and nit picking then you might wanna think about leaving
He’s not a real man, there’s many out there my ex was like this I got rid.
It’s harder looking at somebody not helping that just doing it yourself. It’s so much easier xxx
Good father’s actually enjoy holding their babies since they’re gone all day.
I dont understand dudes that are uninvolved dads.
Children learn by what they see.your baby is being taught to disrespect women .to be selfish and self centered.to expect certain outcomes. If that is what you want…keep things just as they are. But I really think you want better for your child ,and yourself. Talk to FOB( father of baby) if things don’t change…then you change your address. It’s not about you.or FOB. Baby comes first!!
before you get pregnant again with this man, or so called man…leave
You need to communicate this to him. Your still recovering!! Work is hard but looking after a baby whilst trying to do college work is too!!
Some men don’t understand I guess. My husband never helped either. I worked full time and still took our son to daycare. Maybe your boy friend can help on his days off? Technically you both work. Trust me child care is not cheap. Maybe bring that up. I don’t know my husband never changed.
In my experience, these have been behaviors of a cheating man. And I know that’s not what you wanna hear. But I would definitely be cautious and don’t ignore all the flags. It’s only been 2 months of having a baby though so it could also just be the same emotions you’re feeling and he’s just not handling them properly. I would have a sit down, adult conversation where you both can lay everything out on the table. If things don’t change and you don’t see an effort in him… just RUN! Get out as fast as you can at that point because it usually goes down hill more and more as time passes. Good luck mama, and I truly hope everything works out for the best for you and your little babe
They sure don’t make men/dad’s like they used to!! So sad. I’m thankful mine was raised right.
This is why kids having kids is tough & rough & heart aching because he’s still a boy he’s not a man he’s not going to learn or do
He wants to do what he wants to do because aside from the life he’s created with you he’s young & selfish & a child himself
You need to set some ground rules, it takes two to make a baby not one. Working shouldn’t effect him helping, my bf works 10/12 hour days and still helps out, you need to tell him what you want changed or maybe it be best to go stay with someone else if you can. I know I’d be long gone if my bf did that to me.
Unfortunately he is too young and inmature to be a father.
The last thing you need is another kid to take care of and who treats you badly.
Go back home child. Talk to your parents and get support from your family.
Communication is key. Talk to him about everything that’s bothering you. Don’t wait until you’re so upset you explode (I’ve learned from experience) if you talk to him maybe he’ll change. My fiancé is an amazing dad and he helps me so much, but for a while I felt like I was doing it alone and I sat down with him and talked about it and he said he was sorry and that he was going through some things (stress from work/bills etc.) and that he would help more and be more present. Sometimes it’s not intentional. Sometimes it is. It’s best to know if he is just being a douche or isn’t realizing he’s doing it.
Stop doing the stuff he complains about. Since he could do a better job right? Remember, it’s HIS privilege to have you at home, not the other way around. He would have to do everything you do and more if you weren’t there, so make him understand that.
A helpful tip when talking it out: ask him questions. Make him hear himself. “Why do you want to make the baby wait to eat? Why do you feel that way? What would you do instead?” It really does help.
He needs to help you with the baby no matter what
I’m sorry to hear this. You have to talk to him. SAHM is so much harder than men think. Sit down and have a serious conversation
Tell him to step up or step out! Real men step up and help raise their children because they understand that their children will emulate their actions.
He needs to grow up and show a better example of how you treat your children and your spouse.
Once You turn into an adult and a parent it’s time to learn and do better, you can’t blame your parents for not teaching you, once you’re adult it’s now your own responsibility to make yourself a better person.
I’d make it very clear that I got into the relationship for a partner and a teammate, if he is not willing to step up, stop being selfish and give a 100% then its time to go.
My old man was like that too before i went back to work. I’m not one to beat around the bush so i called him out on the bullshit, you should too. When he starts putting you down say if he thinks he can do it better then step the fuck up or shut up.
So in a sense shine that spine and dawn the big girl panties so you put that man in his place
I have one child from a previous relationship.
& 3 with my current boyfriend of 9 almost 10 yr relationship.
It’s really about communicating and telling your partner what you need out of this relationship.
I need you feed the baby while I cook US dinner. Then the baby can be laid down while you two eat.
Just wait in 2 months or less the baby is going to be more awake & your going to need to have an idea of how to get things done while the baby is asleep or happy in a swing.
Possibly do crockpot meals. So when the baby sleeps you throw in your dinner.
You can eat while holding the baby, same as Dad. So take turns every night
Why couldn’t you feed the baby I know you are tired and hungry but don’t you think after work his hungry and tried it goes both ways any one of you two could done it
Tell him to step up or leave. He’s going to put you into depression if he keeps talking to you that way. It’s hard being first time parents but he either needs to help or he needs to go
Y’all can take turns feeding the baby while y’all eat. If you do everything “wrong” with the baby then he needs to step up and do more. Just because he works doesnt mean he can take care of his child too.
Dont expect anyone to validate your job as a mother. Do what you can. Talk to your man tell him how you are feeling. Explain you are new to this also and need help. That you are feeling unappreciated. That it hurts to hear him tell you what your doing wrong. If he does not respond or change then raise that baby on your own… I promise it seems like alot but once you are in a routine it gets better.
I am so sorry you’re going through this hun. He seems like a real piece of work. There’s lots of men like this, regardless of age. My man & I are also young but the way we are to each other, to our child and in our personal lives alot of people think we are so much older. His age is not an excuse. He’s just a selfish man & more than likely that won’t change. He’s someone who only prioritizes himself and because he makes the money he thinks he’s doing the hardest part which doesn’t help his mindset at all. I think if you have family maybe go stay with them & try to get a job that way you won’t ever have to put up with someone like that. You deserve much better.
Some men are just not comfortable with little babies give it some time and I’m sure he’ll help more
I had to do everything for my kids as well when they were first born. It was exhausting. That relationship is long done and over with. Fast forward to now I’m dating someone that helps me with my kids even when I don’t ask!
He has to eat too? What about you? Does he not realize you need to eat too? He clearly doesn’t respect you or understand that the baby is his responsibility too. Stop cooking for him. Stop doing anything for him. When he says something like “where’s my food?” Tell him “idk did you cook it?” Plan to move out. Store money away, find someone to take you & baby in. It’s not going to get better, only worse.
He works 40 hours a week and has 128 hours a week off.
You work 128 hours a week and have 40 hours a week off (if the baby let’s you sleep a solid 8 hours a night).
He works outside of the house, but he still needs to do his job as a father.
He’s resentful and bored with this new existence. Yes he’s is not interested. Tell him and be brutally honest. Do it soon bc this will eat you up.
My partner isn’t the bio father of my youngest… we met while pregnant… he helped me through csection… got up every few nights with the baby to let me sleep… took turns in eating meals so we both could eat… changes nappies… takes the baby to the shop alone if needed… does swimming lessons alone if I’m at work… He does every thing a FATHER should be doing… you’re BOTH new parents… not just you… yes he has to work and you’re at home… But you need sleep too… You need food too… Tell him to pull his head in and that there are PLENTY of fathers out there that do the right thing
My husband was kind of the same way once we got home and he went back to work which I told him that I would obviously do everything at night since I’m breastfeeding exclusively. But when he’d get home from work he wouldn’t take her from me and spend time with his daughter so I just sat down and told him how I felt about it and he didn’t realize he was doing it. He wasn’t saying the things your bf does but I would try to sit down and tell him how you feel about it and if he doesn’t start helping out or is still being rude to you maybe it’s best if you leave the situation.
I’m a ftm and a sahm. I’m 22. I clean the apartment, take care of our baby all day, cook dinner, give our baby baths, AND get up with our baby at night. Her daddy works all day from 9am to 6:30pm. When he gets home he feeds her dinner while I cook ours. When hes home from work he gives me time to relax and spends time with her until it’s her bed time. When he has days off he helps take care of her as well and even gives me some nights off. If I were you I would just talk to him about how hes making you feel. And if he cant give you what you want and is making you feel miserable then leave him. Dont stay with someone who isnt making you happy.
Sometime u just have to do it, eat when u can, I use to eat after my baby was fed.
Oh hell no. I’d tell him you eat every other time holding the baby, he can do it once. He needs to step up and be a parent. Honestly, why even be there if he’s not going to be a parent?
Its not unusual, especially in young first time dads. They dont realize how much work is involved in taking care of a baby. Yea u take care of the baby but also as a SAHM u r taking care of the house, and also u said u were going to school online. That is a lot and more than likely he doesnt realize what all u do. I would say try to talk to him about everything u do every day and ask for help. U have to communicate. Thats the only way for any relationship to work.
Tell him if he doesn’t help, you’re going to leave and find help elsewhere.
You guys are young and young guys tend to be selfish. Generally if you don’t give them an alternative, they straighten up.
Guys generally treat you how you let them treat you. So grow a back bone and tell him off
It’s called either he steps up and acts like a man or he packs his crap and takes his chances with court.
I’d be finding myself a new home for me and my baby if i had a partner like that. You can do SO MUCH BETTER! You deserve to feel happy and appreciated, not treated this way. He’s just an ass
(Married 14 yrs, 3 kids)
I would talk to him. Tell him HE is doing a great job, but you need some help too.
Eventually, you will be working too, and you will think that the “duties” are going to be “split”-- but it just is not that way. You do what you do, and he does what he does. My husband has never gotten up in the night with our kids; but he works on our cars- I have never had to clear snow or put oil in.
It took us years to realize when the other was just havi g a down day and needed a break. Now we just come right out and say it. Communication. Raw honesty.
It’s hard, I know!! Honestly, tell yourself you’re doing a great job cause you cant expect it from him. He is still very young and the relationship is new. I’m going on 10yrs and 3 kids and still working on that with him bc men just dont notice
Tell him that the criticism hurts, for sure!! Sounds like bc he brings home the bacon, he comes home wielding the work sword(hence the criticism) and he needs to learn how to switch into dad/husband mode. My husband still struggles, being an engineer and wanting things to be just so is in his blood!!
Communicate, but compose yourself first. Men listen better when we aren’t yelling or crying.
I agree with telling him off… As a previous sahm of 4 years to be abandoned I see my soon to be ex-husband in your post. If you don’t feel telling him off will work Hun go ahead and get your affairs in order to leave. 🤷 I mean you can always suggest couples counseling
Stop letting him treat you like that.hes being selfish and an ass
Hand him the baby and eat.Tell him to figure it out cuz you gotta eat too!!! Just hand him his kid and go get busy with something else…I had my first at 20.He was 19…3 children he was ALWAYS on hand when he was home.I even got to sleep in Saturdays until NOON.He would take care of everything and every baby.3 kids and we were both under 25…
Say if he’s going to act like you’re a single mom then it would be better to actually be a single mom. Let his ass pay for child support and find yourself someone better. Fuck. That.
All you can do is talk to him and tell him how you feel. If he doesn’t change his ways and help with the baby then you have a decision to make. You could try leaving for the day and leaving the baby with him and essentially forcing him to take care of her, but do you trust him to do that?
Communication is key here and if he won’t change his attitude and start helping you have two choices… allow the behavior to continue and be miserable or give him an ultimatum of growing up or getting out.
He is jealous please watch his way around the baby i know he is young but the baby keep being the mom you are but stay woke
Wow. What a dick. Any man who can’t feed his own baby for a few minutes so his tired woman can get a bite to eat is a piece of crap. It seems like you’re doing everything on your own anyway. You can do everything by yourself without having to have a worthless man around making it worse.
Not unusual at all but if you want your man to treat you better then the crappy standard we have now, demand it. Tell him and don’t take no excuses.
I don’t think it will get better. He is selfish. Babies are hard work. He sounds like a child. I’d leave his dumb ass if possible.
U can’t make it better. It’s not way to see any change is to leave him.
I must be blunt. If he doesn’t get therapy, there is ZERO chance of this working.
This is as old as humans.
Just make plans to be absent on one of his days off. The second day off if possible.
Leave him a detailed message for the baby’s schedule.
Kiss him good bye, and do not speak with him again till you get back home.
Be gone for 8 hrs.
When you get home ask what’s for dinner.
He has many ways to find help other than you.
His grandmother/ father
How did you learn what to do???
He is very young and so are you, so give yourselves credit.
You both are going through huge changes.
When your husband begins to use the word babysitting, remind him you are providing a bonding experience for him.
Y’all are young and he’s immature. Bottom line you need to prepare yourself for him ultimately leaving. I don’t mean to be a pessimist but all signs point that way. You can try counseling for the 2 of u. Was the relationship good before the baby? I mean really good like there was no bs?? If there was bs then a baby only added to it. Now he’s got a “good excuse” to be terrible and probably thinks u won’t leave. Prove his ass wrong! Have an open conversation with him about your feelings let him explain his tell him what u need and then if he doesn’t shape up. LEAVE HIM! Don’t have another baby until you have seen how the new man truly is (angry, money issues, life issues, how he is with your baby) and until you are married!! Don’t stay where you are under valued and ultimately abused (neglect is abuse!). You will regret it, if you waste your life waiting for him!!! I hope it works out but if he won’t then you HAVE TO!
You know what, just do it yourself. That’s what I do, I have two children now 5 and 2. I’m still with their dad, he does take them to the woods or park occasionally and rarely baths them but I do everything else, cook for them, tidy up after them, their laundry, tuck them into bed at night, give them cuddles, do homework etc it’s tough, it’s exhausting but there is no point in fighting and making an issue when you know deep down it won’t make a difference. My kids don’t notice anything because I don’t make it a problem, I do what needs to be done and my kids are happy. Show him you can do college, childcare, cooking and cleaning but not to expect anything from you if he can’t help you out
I Wouldn’t dare leave the baby with him alone! You are already doing everything except the financial end. Get help from family/government emergency housing, etc. Leave his stupid ass! Get child support. You are eligible for several programs. You are better off without him!
Oh Sweet Sister, First Take a Breath momma, You have literally just given birth and adjusting and learning Motherhood. You haven’t let the changes slow down achieving your educational goals, Everyone has a full tummy, the house is picked up , the baby his healthy and growing YOU ARE ROCKING THAT SHIT! Keep in Mind sis, He is a young/new parent too. Some guy’s are SCARED to death to hold such a little one for any extended period of time, and is something they just have to be left in the position TO have TO DO IT, Its OK to need a break , even if it’s just to go grocery shopping. The BEST advice I can give you is do JUST THAT, Have everything prepared for at least 2hrs of your absence, Communicate to him what day this would happen and DO IT! Take the time to have lunch with a friend, get a manicure, sip your favorite cup of coffee and read you’re favorite magazine, whatever blows your hair back. Expect No Less than 5 to 10 calls, you know your baby and what he needs by his cries, Help Dad LEARN them TOO,and the next time he criticizes simply point out how many times he called in 2hrs for HELP, and as HARD as I KNOW personally its gonna be, DONT LAUGH IN FRONT OF HIM, At dinner you inform him we WILL be taking turns from now on feeding OUR child, I’m gonna enjoy the Hot meal I prepared a few nights a week, AFTER you have put the baby in his arms and sat the bottle down! 2 birds One Stone. Hang in there momma
If you live in the U.S, call your local health dept & ask if they have a HANDS program, it’s a program for first-time parents, & a worker comes to your house & works with you & teaches you parenting techniques
Hes not ready to be a parent and step up as a man
My first was at 20 just before I turned 21. He’s borderline autistic and it was really hard. (The father has spent most of his life around a severe case of autism, his sister.)He and I wound up getting pregnant again.
Keep in mind, my two older sons are 15 months apart.
I did absolutely everything. Just as you are. The father did nothing, yet claimed that I wasn’t doing anything. So, I left with my mother to take care of errands. Leaving him with our first born. He couldn’t handle it after one hour.
In the end, i broke it off and he decided to leave state and is now forced to pay child support.
Do what is best for you and that child. If he can’t handle the idea of being an adult then he shouldn’t have had sex to begin with. Unfortunately, being a mother, it forces you to grow up. But, being a mother is hard and wonderful at the same time.
Remember this, if you’re afraid of losing him and doing it alone? Honey, you’re already doing it alone. You’re strong and doing what you need to do. With or without him.
The complaints are to start a fight so he doesn’t have to feel guilty about anything. I’ve been there and done that, and I return any complaint with a smile and a gentle word. Do not engage in the insult slinging. Words do hurt, don’t they? Y’all need to learn how to negotiate issues without causing pain and guilt. It is possible and the relationship is much more satisfying that way, especially the sex, if y’all have resumed after the birth, if not, that’s one of his issues, and he may be jealous of the time and attention and love you show the baby. Immature? yes, but we’re all two years old in our hearts. Good luck Momma.
Quit doing things for him. He wants to be selfish then you be selfish too. If you make dinner DO NOT make his plate, he is a big boy! Lots of young people make this mistake, I did too but after doing everything I just got tired and STOPPED. My hubby used to come home from work and his shoes were left just i side the door, work shirt thrown over a dining chair, socks in the hallway, work pants in the bedroom…on the floor, tshirt on the floor. I used to puck up after him and I was a SAHM so I was with our son all day. My hubby was active duty military so the times he was gone were many. He was overseas A LOT!! I guess he thought I was his barracks mamasan and was supposed to pick up after him. Well…I nipped that in the bud right quick on one of his times home. I stopped picking up after him and one day he got up for work and said…“I don’t have any clean utilities for work, no socks, no skivvies, whats up?” I looked him square in the face and said…“I was wondering why I didn’t see any of your stuff in the hamper when I did laundry”! He found his clothes right where he had left them!!! I did, however, have clean stuff for him so he did get to go to work! He never left his stuff around again! We have been married almost 49 years and he has done his own laundry since I taught my sons to do theirs.
New dads are so oblivious sometimes… i hope he comes around for you
Cook for yourself and take care of the baby. bollocks on his “I have to eat too”
I don’t think it will change. You deserve better than this. He’s immature and selfish. I would not leave your child alone with him. Why stay with someone that is verbally abusive?
The only way you could change a man is if he’s in diapers don’t leave him alone with the baby
Start speaking up! Don’t be afraid to talk back to him.Let him hear you & your concerns.Don’t give up being a mom & stay very strong.1st time being a parent is not eaay at all especially at a young age.He won’t realize how much work it is till he is there by himself with baby & having to do everything
Like what some of these other ladies have said,if he doesn’t want to change,then you & baby step out.Look into mom groups at churches.
Tell him to f*** off and either he helps or you leave. Simple.
Suck it up buttercup…that’s life!!! If your doing a good job have confidence in yourself, you don’t need constant reassurance from him. His work is outside the home, yours is the home.