My boyfriend went to the zoo with his ex and child, should I be mad?

My boyfriend's child is almost 2. He often goes to see the child because she's too small to be left alone with him, so he says. Yesterday he comes home, after spending the day with the child. He said that he had such a long day, and I asked him what he was up to. He told me he took the child to the Zoo, and my first question was, with the mother? In which he answered yes. Guys, I don't know how to feel about this. I just need some advice.
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I guess the good thing about it is he didn’t lie, he told you she went with. Unless there’s been other situations that made you think he was cheating or something I wouldn’t think too much into it. I think it’s great they all went, they’re showing their daughter a healthy relationship. It just sounds like they’re trying to be good co-parents.

As a child whose parents weren’t together ever, having them get along as friends and do things with me such as take me to the park or to do an activity that I enjoyed, it made a huge difference in my upbringing and understanding relationships. I think it’s a healthy thing that should be encouraged and it’s good that he was honest with you. You should go with him and his ex next time, it makes all the difference for the child.

Its the mother of his Child… they should be able to do things like that together.
Me and my bf have a little girl together, and if we are breaking up we are still going to be friends and do things like this.
And the new ones are just up to accept it or go.
You must understand they haven’t just been together, they have a child together. And with that things change.
If they were just exes I would say to hell with that.
But they have a child and things change.
He told u yes and didn’t hide. That’s a good thing.
Don’t think u have something to be worried about.

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My boyfriend went to the zoo with his ex and child, should I be mad?

Why can’t he be left alone with the baby?

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What is there to have a problem about? Regardless of how you feel about thats still apart of his family. It’s not like he was banging the mom at the zoo and he was open about what he did that day.

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He didn’t lie to you so I think that is a positive. Also he should be able to be left with his child

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What dont you trust him about?

The mother may prefer supervised visits for whatever reasons and that could be why. Or just simple awesome co parenting.

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Why is it an issue for you to accept how healthy it is for both parents to be present Wether it’s a zoo, school event :thinking:

Grow up :100:

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You can’t change his past and the way the co parents… so why don’t you find someone new without an ex and a kid, became it seems this won’t work for you.

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Why can’t the 3 of you spend the day with his child. Co parent.

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I’m also curious why he can’t be left alone eith his own daughter? My daughter is 2 and my husband takes her on daddy/daughter days all the time without me so I can have some peace and quiet😅 But also, that’s still the child’s mother, he’s obviously still gunna be around her alot.

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He should have invited you too. Period.

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Sounds to me like a coparenting mother and father doing something with their child… what is the issue with that?

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You seem childish & immature

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Sounds like a good co parent relationship… leave it be

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It seems like you’re not mature enough to be with a man that has a child, maybe look for someone single?

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Don’t you dare interrupt good co-parenting!

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Gtfoh. You are ridiculous. The fact that that was your FIRST question and not something like did you gave fun, is just ridiculous.

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You probably shouldnt date someone with kids then

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So it sounds like he has supervised visits. My EX husband had the same thing with my son. He no longer sees him at all but he is NOT allowed alone with my son due to failed drug tests and DV during our marriage.

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All these comments making you feel bad when there is in reality a 90% chance they still mess around.

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you better get used to it. cos the mumma ain’t going nowhere…

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Meh… I say if he’s running 2 lives let him but be sure and call her up and tell her the dishes need done​:eyes::ok_hand::woman_shrugging::joy:
And the laundry and half the rent due… let me know if you need a longer list.
But on a serious note if you’re feeling played or if this turns toxic run away…
I will also add children need to see their parents at least care about each other in a mature way so it may be just that… you’ll know💜

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You’re not mature enough to be with someone with a child.

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Why can’t he be alone with baby ?
If you trust him you should be ok with him coparenting

The child is two. I dont see why he cant be left alone with her.

I doubt they would be doing the hanky spanky in a zoo especially with a two year old so I wouldn’t over react. Coparenting.

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My ex and I do things with our kids all the time.

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Girl, run. Let him live his life with his ex.

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Also, they’re still a family so like I’d expect them to spend time together

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A child should be able to do things with mom AND dad… if the child is that young, then it could be their first time going… not something a parent wants to miss.

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My 21 yo son keeps his 2 yr old daughter Thursday through Sunday every week by himself. He’s her dad, I don’t understand the problem with him having his child alone?

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Thats called co-parenting🙃

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They had a child together so are going to be spending time together… Ask to be invited next time orrr let the man go and find some one without kids as there’s no issue here other than your own insecurities :woman_shrugging:t2:

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You don’t need to be with someone who has kids if you’re going to be this upset over it

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Leave that girl man alone

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I think the fact that he told you and didn’t beat around the bush means he has nothing to hide.

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I have a boyfriend and my ex and I still do things together with our kids. It makes our kids happy. Trust me I don’t want to be around my ex most of the time but the kids want to be around both of us so I do it for them. I’m glad my boyfriend understands and doesn’t get mad or upset about it.

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If you can’t handle him having a good relationship with his child’s mother then you need to leave. The child’s mother is permanent. My daughters dad and I take our daughter places just the three of us every weekend FOR HER. She wants time with us both so we make it happen. Doesn’t mean we are back together or anything. I’m sure the same applies to him.

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You should’ve known when you got with a man with a child from another marriage or relationship that that child is going to be involved you don’t have to be jealous of every time he has something do with his child this woman could be you if you don’t trust him enough to go over and take care of his child you have no business being with him

He’s spending time with his kid…

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God no Lord can we please make doing things as a family unit normal for all these children why does eveything always have to be at odds with exes being parents

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I just left my child’s father at fifteen months i Am going for custody in full. No this is completely normal. I don’t want my tiny baby going with his father anywhere alone for some time. We also were long distance so he hasn’t been a dad day to day. A baby needs their mom. Plain and simple. He’s a great dad for accepting her terms.

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I think it’s really good that 1- he is honest with you &
2- they are co parenting really well which is the best thing for the child to not be around there parents fighting etc…

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U need to grow up it is extremely healthy especially at her age to see her mom and dad on the same page they r putting their daughter first

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That’s weird. Where was your invite?

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You doing the most right now.

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And what are you gonna do when he wants the child to start spending weekends with him

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Who cares… if they get along well enough and can successfully parent the child together without being together that’s awesome. He sounds like a great human and an awesome Dad… you’re winning and so is everyone else.

Uh he needs to find someone who is mature enough?
My husband spent a whole weekend at my stepsons house with his mom and her husband because it’s states away and she refused to make him stay in a hotel. The child will be a thousand times happier seeing mom and dad get along.
I hope you grow up soon. :roll_eyes:

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You have every right to feel how you feel about it. Asking others how you should feel… :woman_shrugging:t4:

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What could they possibly be doing with a 2yo at the zoo? It’s called coparenting and it’s very healthy for the children…

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The point is that he was honest with you. He could of easily lied. I respect people who can co parent and let their child have a normal experience with both parents. Maybe one day they will include you.

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Get over it & if your not mature enough to handle it, move on. At least he’s spending time with the child. That’s more than I can say for a lot of dads.

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I just spent 11 days with my ex and our daughter when we went to Disney.

HEALTHY CO PARENTING :upside_down_face: & don’t you dare try to interfere with that… that child deserves both parents and if you can’t handle it, be with someone else, who doesn’t have kids. :roll_eyes:

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Eeee… you should’ve just invited yourself then :laughing: since you’re so bent about it. lol

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It’s called coparenting. Very healthy for children and I hope they continue to do it.

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Get over yourself and stop being jealous it’s his ex. That’s his daughter.

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I mean co parenting sometimes means the other parent is around

Good god get over yourself.

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I do stuff with my boys dad all the time! Sometimes without the boys. He even lives with me and our boys and my boyfriend/soon to be father of my baby. It’s good for the kids to see that parents are a team. Lol it’s an interesting situation. But it works for us, and is best for our kids

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I mean he could’ve lied and said no. Respect the fact that he had balls enough to be honest about it. But the he can’t be ‘left alone’ with his child sounds like bs to me. Just my opinion.

Only red flag I see is why cant he be with his child alone?

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Coparenting - it’s the best for the child. My kids dad and I would take family vacations together, Disney world, visit family, holidays, etc. there’s no reason the kids need to miss out experiencing things with both parents.

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“The child” that’s says it all. Anyhoo It’s called healthy co parenting and that’s what every child deserves.

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He should find another girlfriend or you should grow up.

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That’s called healthy co parenting. You clearly have no idea

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Be happy he and his ex can have a good relationship for their child.

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Wait…so he goes over there to see the kid at his exes house “often”, but it’s now an issue because they went to the zoo together? :thinking:

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You’re not entitled to feel any way. So what, he took the child to the zoo with her mother. That’s called healthy co-parenting. Stay in your lane.

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As a mother I’m really offended by you calling it “the child”

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He is the child’s father and should be capable of caring for his son alone from day 1. But I don’t see why it would be an issue if he chooses to stay friendly with his child’s mother. It’s easier to coparent when you can enjoy spending time with your kid in the presence of their other parent. A platonic friendship with the ex is in the child’s best interest.

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Shes too small to be left alone with her Daddy?!?

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That’s that baby’s mother whether you like it or not . Your insecurities will cost you this relationship and every relationship with a person that has children . I wish my daughter had the luxury to have both of her parents take her to the zoo , he is not civil . Go ahead and get out now before that child becomes attached to you .

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So, there’s no reason as to why they couldn’t all go to the zoo but why can’t the 2 year old be left with her father???

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Co-parenting is healthy. It’s great they’re on good terms because it makes it easier for you.

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My boyfriend, i would and have left alone with my 2 year old while i was having dental work. His father is not mature enough and not responsible enough to watch him. I would never ever leave my son with his father. :tired_face: So in the future any visits or outings will be completely supervised. There is a reason she doesn’t trust him with their kid.

I still involve my ex when I do things with my children. Not all the time, but it’s still good to keep some normality for the kids if you’re still on good terms

It’s the mother of his child. That’s called CO PARENTING and if you can’t handle the fact that he has a health relationship with her for the child then you need to be finding someone without kids. That child deserves to see that her parents can get along and be together to do things with and for her.

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I don’t think you’re ready to be with someone who has a child… especially with the phase ”the child”!

It’sgreat they’re doing that! Co parenting at its finest! Good for them!

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All these comments are crazy. Yeah you say all this until you are in her shoes. She should have been invited period. I wouldn’t feel comfortable either. I don’t understand why she wasn’t invited to go with them?

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Stay out of it.
He visited his child & let his child see her parents get along.

YOU. HAVE. NOTHING. IN. THAT.

He told you about it. Move on. His child comes before you. If you can’t accept that, please move on.

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I’m alone with my kids and my ex on a regular basis. I absolutely cannot stand the man, but we had children together oh, and even though we split up we want them to get a sense of family so we often do things together as a family. When we did our parenting class in preparation for our custody agreement and divorce, the therapist that can ducted the class stated that it was important to their child psyche that if the parents could get along, that each child needs individual time alone with their mother and father oh, away from all significant others or other siblings. Could he have told you about going to the zoo with the mother before or during the day? Yes. Being mad about him going without telling you is somewhat undesirable, but being mad about him going is not acceptable.

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No. My husbands ex came over today and we fixed dinner and had a craft night and we are doing a slip and slide tomorrow and my step son got to hang out with all his parents. He had a blast!

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First your feelings are valid! If you feel some type of way express the feelings to him. Second he is a father :woman_shrugging:t3: be thankful they don’t have a bad relationship. Third how long have they been separated? Fourth I’m sure whats going through your head is them rekindling and totally normal to think of yourself in this! But ask first and if your intuition is still off back out no love no loss!

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Umm that’s healthy co-parenting…

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I would be concerned about why you were not invited

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Let it go. He didn’t have to even tell you. Could’ve lied and you’d know no better. He did it for his daughter. He’s telling u the truth. Y’all are solid.

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If you and your boyfriend TRULY trust one another I don’t understand why it would be a problem but if y’all don’t have that trust, every time he goes to see the baby, it will eat you up bc you will be wondering …My husband has a female best friend that he went to school with and they can go do whatever bc I KNOW him that well … Hope this makes sense

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Too small to be left alone with him?? That statement seems odd to me.

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Don’t date men with children if you cannot handle his coparenting relationship, the mother of his child is a constant factor, find away to accept that or leave him alone. A good father will never choose you over his child’s happiness.

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To have somebody who wants to do things with your child mingle & show love. Consider yourself blessed.
You’re co-parents so work on co-parenting properly…

“The child”??…you aren’t ready to date a daddy….

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Wow people are so mean! You are navigating new territory as well don’t let the negative comments discourage you! It sounds like he wants to be a good dad but he should also be making you feel comfortable and secure in your relationship! I hope this works out for you all

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Honey!!! BE MATURE !! ITS AMAZING THAT THEY CAM COPARENT TOGETHER FOR HER LIKE THAT EVERY DIVORCED OR SEPARATED SHOULD STRIVE FOR THIS, but let him know you feel insecure a bit about him spending time with his ex and his daughter and ask him outright if it’s strictly a friendship for his child and if he says yes then you should absolutely encourage it and if yall become serious then you should make every effort to make a friendship with his ex so that you can all go on outings together once you have reached that point let his ex know that you respect who she is in his life and open the communication line so that she can learn to trust you around her daughter!! I think it will go a long long way with your boyfriend to if you support and encourage him to treat his baby momma right and be involved in his daughter life every chance he gets just let him know that eventually you would like to work towards coming to a point where if yall are going to marry or spend forever together that you become a part of that unit and I think he will respect that and also let his baby’s mother know your intentions and his in order to work towards that!!

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It’s the mother of his child it’s great they get along like civil adults for the child it’s called co- parenting

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Get used to it or move on. At least for the next 18 years.

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