bit wierd that he can’t be alone with his child…he is the father, i don’t know the back story, however he didn’t lie to you, he told you where he was and with who, maybe have a conversation about all of this, put it out in the open i doubt he is cheating but maybe the ex might be interested since she refuses to let him see the child alone without her but that would be my worry i guess
Personally it wouldn’t bother me… My partner went on holiday with his ex and their 2 children…
I completely trust my partner (after all no trust then why would you be with them).
We’ve been together 9 years (monday)
He also used to go up to her house to see the children, he spent time with the children, she wasn’t always there but sometimes was, she even invited our little girl up etc…
If you feel like you need to say something say it for piece of mind but if he feels you can’t trust him then it may backfire…
The fact the child can’t be alone is weird but him going to the zoo with the child and the child’s mother isn’t a problem
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He didn’t lie about it. He needs to spend time with his child. Don’t be that girl. If you don’t trust him move on. His child should come first whether you like it or not.
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They have a child together. Let them parent the child. If your jealous try to get past it…I have been here and I wanted NOTHING to do w my ex but it is his child. If he wants to be I. The child’s life for goodness sakes let him!
Sounds like you need to calm tf down 
together or not doesnt matter a child still needs two parents in their life, maybe suggest a group outing or a group activity so you feel like you’re more involved but more importantly having a bonding experience with your step child
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Maybe they just wanted the child to enjoy a day together with both parents, there’s nothing wrong with that. He was honest about so I really don’t see a problem. If it were to become a regular thing and was happening everytime he saw his child then I would question it but this seems innocent to me 
Confess your insecurities and eventually get over them. Believe he is doing it for the child unless he gives you a reason to doubt it. He should have told you, but he shouldn’t have to deal with back lash because you worry about his relationship with you. Trust or move on. When it comes to his relationship with his kid, don’t stand in the way.
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Nope. My ex husband and I have done things just us with our daughter, and I’m friends with his wife, she trusts us and knows that nothing would ever happen. It’s important for a child to spend time with both parents and occasionally at the same time. It’s good for them.
Why can’t he spend time alone with his daughter. I find that odd. Just curious also why they didn’t include you.
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I don’t think it’s wrong to spend time with his ex and the kid together. But what I do think is weird is that as a parent he doesn’t ever have the kids alone. Maybe he’s scared to have the kid by himself but as a father he should have some time.
I am the “ex” and mother of the child in this exact situation. My wee girl is three and is only just getting to spend a few hours with her dad without me being there because of the past and how he has been with her. For me, that mum is doing what she can to facilitate a relationship for the child and their dad but also maintain safety for the child. I didnt want to be there but for safety and also for my child whilst she was building that relationship with her dad I was. That child will be and always should be number one in your boyfriends life. If him seeing his child in this way is going to be an issue then perhaps this isn’t the right person for you.
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Idk, I used to do things with my x husband and our kids occasionally, but my second was told and invited. Same with his current wife. I am extremely mature and secure. If I wasn’t included or informed I would be a bit suspicious. Thats human. Like hey do you have a problem with me and the x going to the zoo, id like you to come but might be a bit awkward. This I would understand.
My daughter is 1, still breastfeeding and goes with her dad…
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It’s his child, the child always comes first. I think its great they can co parent so well and take the child on outings together.
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Ya’ll come on. My parents divorced and still took me out to places TOGETHER. They had a healthy friendship/coparentship. It’s probably not an excuse. Maybe they BOTH want to see their child enjoying her time at the zoo. If he’s given you a reason to worry then ok but come on, an excuse? And it’s not “the child” it’s his daughter.
It’s a 50 50 situation it’s for your child we understand But if the child’s mother tags along that where it gets sticky Turn the table the other way you wouldn’t like your wife to go with her x’s even though it’s a platonic relationship it doesn’t look good will create problems
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They’re his parents, it’s nice for the child to spend time with them both. I think it’s nice they’re putting their child first
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I would be curious about it, but wouldn’t worry… If there was something to hide then we would have liked about it. I think it is great that him and this kids mother can do things like that with the child… That kind if stuff is important and even better for the child as they grow up.
He needs a bond with his child…that’s the important thing. Also showing 2 people can get along is also so important, they both have gus welfare at heart. The girlfriend needs to loosen up a bit and start building a relationship not stopping him seeing his child. Time will come when she and the dad will get chance to do things with the child and that needs to be the goal here
I’m gonna tell you a story. Let me start by saying I loved my Dad. He was the best, the funniest, the most loving, patient person I knew! But he cheated on my mom and all his ladies. I guess he couldn’t help it. He was a handsome guy, runs in the family 
. He would also go see his previous children that lived about 45 minutes away and it would get “too late” and spend the night on the couch. Then they’d get in a fight and he’d tell mom that there were times when he wasn’t “getting any” because they both were on the rag. Soooooo, a 2 year old??? Um, he is plenty old enough to be with the father alone. I think we all know that. Denial ain’t just a river in Egypt baby. Or maybe I’m just jaded.
He took his child out, trust him or don’t but that’s his child, the fact he and his ex get along enough to be comfortable to take the child out together is amazing. Glad he and his child had a good day together, get a grip.
He has a child, so he will need to spend time with his ex occasionally because they are the parents to that child. I have never had a problem with my partner spending time with his ex and little boy, as a child of badly divorced parents i actually actively encourag it because i know what its like not to see much of one parent. You knew he had a child when u got into that relationship so you need to accept that sometimes he needs to do things for his child, and if your not encouraging him to put his child first your selfish and you shouldnt be in a relationship with someone with a child.
If you have a good honest and trusting relationship there shouldn’t be anything to worry about. If he doesn’t feel capable of caring for the two-year-old on his own, good for him for making that decision. If you don’t trust him and have reason not to trust him, you have a whole other set of questions you need to ask yourself
My mum and dad did things like this a few times with me. And thier partners didn’t see issues. I think it’s nice for kids to see thier parents getting along. I’d let my partner do the same if he had a child with someone else. 
Both parents interacting with the child is important to the child’s development. With all kindness, you’ll have to get past your jealousy and not interfere. If you don’t, you will definitely lose. Eventually you adults will be able to interact and the child will see an example of a healthy relationship post divorce or separation. Don’t mess this up for all of you
Every kid should be allowed to see their child with or without the other parent. Your being jealous and if you can’t be happy for him by standing by his child then you shouldn’t be with him. Just a head up it’s healthy for the child’s well-being to be around both parents! Coparenting
Man has good Co parenting with his ex and spends the day with their child at the zoo which helps show their child healthy adult relationships. Yeah you should be positively fuming
Don’t be in a relationship with someone who has a child with someone else if you can’t handle him doing family things with the ex at least it’s not bitter and he doesn’t get to see his child don’t be selfish a child needs both parents no matter what everyone says and she seems like she’s not the kind of mother that wouldn’t let the father not see his daughter
It shows the child that mom and dad can be civil and spend time as a family, even if mom and dad aren’t together. As long as he’s faithful to you that’s all that should matter. Though I get it I’m a jealous person, just have a conversation with him about communication, I’m sure he wouldn’t be pleased if you went to the zoo with your ex, be honest with your feelings and just ask him if he’d mind letting you know if they decide to go out and do something maybe?
No issue with co parenting. The child gets both parents to do things with. It’s lovely they are both mature enough to put there child first x
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So he should… his not there for the mother his there for his child and what a great dad he is to be able to co parent like that.
Maybe if it upsets you, you could ask to be slowly included. Get to know his ex and start a relationship with her if your intending on being with this guy.
I don’t see a problem with them going, but the lack of communication before hand can set off red flags. The woman should have been told before hand.
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You should feel proud that you are with a man that can treat his ex with respect who is also showing his child that everyone deserves respect and also showing his child that both parents love them
Almost 2 and he won’t have his child on his own? He either needs to man up and be a proper father, and care for his child on his OWN or there is something that he isn’t telling you thag is preventing him from caring for his child in his own.
However going to the zoo with his child and ex isn’t a big deal, at least not in my eyes. They may have just both wanted to see their child enjoy the experience
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After my ex and I split, we still did joint birthday parties for our son, where both families would come together to celebrate. Sometimes we’d meet at maccers and chat for 30 minutes or longer while our son played. Eventually his girlfriend started coming along and I ended up liking her more then my ex. I think it’s great for the kids to see their parents getting along & like a united front rather then completely separate households.
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It’s called co-parenting. I’m glad they’re doing such a fantastic job and can put their differences aside for their kid.
I’m part of a blended family. With my son me and my ex were very much like this, every school play, parents evening, day out, meals out for birthdays etc we’d celebrate/do it together in later years with our significant others and other family too, honestly it’s a beautiful way to parent if you can don’t ever stand in the way of that you will be involved eventually when the child grows up a little he’s very young and these moments are very precious and absolutely should be shared equally by mum and dad. I have a step son who’s parents are at a war a lot of the time and who couldn’t possibly get along to do this and that hurts to see when I know how different it could be. It’s definately for the sake of the child better if everyone is on the same page and can be pleasant these are the people that child loves the most. So please don’t be jealous be supportive.
Im am ex, i want my daughter to have a good relationship with her father and we were on good terms after the spilt but now i cant stand to be near him let alone go somewhere…everyone is different though.
Make your feelings known to him, and for heavens sake dont bring jealousy into it!
If your not a mum yourself you dont know how destructive that shit can get to a child even if they arent involved…
Just talk to him but if you want to fight about it pick your battles
Wow lol the child deserve to experience things with both his parents and the parents both want to be there for there child’s first time experience through our life!!
Would they still be going to the zoo if she (the ex) had a boyfriend? Probably not
Ima go with. Don’t be mad, but be cautious.
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I mean she may be that way because she is trying to get him back but he can be a big boy and tell her he can take his own child out by himself !! Which he should … and as a step mom and someone who has a relationship with my x husband s new wife you can co parent without going out to do activities as a family !! That can also be very confusing to
The child because as he gets older it will give him false hope they may get back together.
It’s called co parenting… if you’re not emotionally mature enough don’t date a guy who has a kid.
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You can’t tell this man he can’t spend time with his child and the mother of his child because you’re insecure. Was it a date? No. They took their child to the zoo. So just cause you’re in the picture the child can’t see his parents happily coparenting? Lmao wild.
I think it’s wonderful that they did this! There is no harm in it at all. I would rather he do this than be one of those men who hate their ex-wife.
My son’s dad and I would do things together with our son… BUT, I always invited his significant other to join us
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Hmmm how insecure are you on your relationship that you feel…at the least concerned, a most threatened he spends time with kiddo and mom? Seriously…
If you decide to date someone with a kid, you definitely have to accept the child and the kids mother in your life because they’re there forever. If you didn’t want him to keep seeing his kid you wouldn’t date him rather you’d look for someone with no responsibility. I personally wouldn’t date anyone with a baby mama but since I ain’t you and you chose him,learn to cooperate. Rather ask him to pick the kid and try bond with them and get the child to like you too.
It seems slightly suspicious. But how long have you been together? Have you met his kid? If so, why weren’t you included? Does the child’s mom know about you! Idk. There seems to be some grey area… but could just be he is trying to coparent with the mother of his child.
My ex n I have been with our son at events. One time I took my son to the car races that his dad invited us to because he thought our son would enjoy it. He had me come to since it was my weekend anyways. My boyfriend was well aware of everything. My boyfriend wasn’t bothered by it because we have ac very trusting relationship and communicate very well with one another. The fact of the matter is your bf has a kid with another woman, she’s gonna be around regardless. The best thing to do is communicate with your bf in how you feel. If you trust then great, but if you have any doubts confront him about it n see his response. If that doesn’t give you any reassurance then maybe the relationship isn’t what you planned it to be.
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It’s fab that they’re acting like adults and co parenting their little girl well! Be glad he’s not a grade A arsehole who doesn’t bother with his kid! Well done to them however your jealousy is abit OTT!
I mean my ex and I have been apart 2 yrs.
We still do things like that together with our almost 4yr old.
We live our own lives otherwise but we also want our child to feel like just because Mama and Papa don’t live together/arent together romantically that we can still hold some sort of “friendship” and do things together as a family with her.
We personally absolutely do it for our kiddo and she seems to benefit greatly from shared experiences with us together.
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My thing is the lack of communication. If you guys are in a serious, committed relationship, his plans should’ve been disclosed to you. Not for approval, but just to let you know. Also, it’s his kid. No age is “too young” to be left alone with him…it’s his child! Sounds very much like he’s trying to stay on the mom’s good side.
It’s immature to think it’s weird.
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Two ways to think:
- Treat them with respect as the most important thing is they want their son to have all the love and support they can give him .
2 Don’t believe or trust him and stop your relationship with him
Personally, I like to have faith in the strength of people I love. Therefore, I respect how they are putting their feeling on back burner in order to give their son a good life.
I take my son out with his Dad, absolutely nothing to do with us but nice for our son to go out with us both together. If either partners ever had a problem then we would get rid… Its about trust
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Maybe she feels she can’t trust him to take child on his own, could be many reasons why, drinker, drug addict etc. He should have told u that they was taking child to the zoo together though its called respect for the other person if he did maybe u wouldn’t be questioning it. Trust issues as well here
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You’re upset because he found a healthy way to coparent with his ex? Maybe he’s not the one for you.
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Be happy that he didn’t lie and said he went only with the child. Fact that he said he went with the mother, shows that he’s got nothing to hide. Child is too young to be left alone with him so, the mother is required to tag along. You’re just overreacting.
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It’s great that he has a good relationship with his ex. It’s good for the child. However, if he is building a relationship with you he should have invited you to go instead of his ex.
No it is not weird at all, My wife and baby daddy co-parent the best they can. I would 100% be fine if they went out to dinner with our son or spent a night at a hotel. I trust who I am with, but what I would NOT trust is him not being able to be alone with his own child…
You’re extremely lucky to be in a relationship with a man, one attempting the difficult path that is co parenting, not a kidult bitching about his ex.
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They both need to be able to be there for their child as a family with out you or the mother’s boyfriend getting jealous. As for ‘the child’ as you refer to her has a right to both of her parents. My parents have been divorced for 25 years and they both came to my graduation as friends and my parents. It honestly meant the world to me
Lol. Your first question was with the mother? This guy is doing what all dads need to do, and you have some jealous insecurities about it. Grow up Peter Pan, count chocula.
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It doesn’t matter how old the child is or how capable the father is. The child needs FAMILY TIME with both of their parents. Eventually you may be able to join& if she has a spouse too, y’all can possibly go all together & be a blended family, but I don’t see any of that unless y’all are super serious & eventually get married. Quit being childish!!!
Well he was honest about it so that probably all it was. He will always have a relationship with his child’s mother. So if u could become her friend it would make things easier.
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While it would bother me too, its actually really important for the child to interact with both parents and see their interactions. Boys learn to treat women based on how the father treats the mom and learns how men should be treated by how the mom treats dad. Girls learn how they should be treated based on how theirs moms are treated etc…
I genuinely have no words! 
But maybe grow up would be one of them! If ur partner can co parent with the mum like this then that’s amazing. Think you need to move on and find someone that’s not had a child with someone else if this is the way u feel
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Me and my ex get on great, we have a daughter together. If she wanted a day out with both mum and dad there, my partner would be invited and so would his. We all get on and my daughter loves her dads fiancé. The day out would be all 4 of us there with my daughter x
Just because she is two does not mean he cannot handle her. He is just using that as an excuse not to be a dad.
Idk. I think that both parents can and should attend certain things together but I think the dad should have taken kiddo to zoo by himself or with girlfriend. I get along fine with my ex and we’re “friends” but we never did things alone with our kids once we divorced. We were together at birthday parties (when younger), school functions, graduations etc… but when he had the kids I didn’t go along with them on their outings… I would attend events, like watching them play sports etc…but we didn’t go to the zoo or a movie or out to eat (just us) or on vacation together……
Good old story of the baby daddy who don’t want to be clear about his intentions w his new partner nor the depth of his relationship w his old partners 
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What super parents, putting aside any differences to enjoy being with their child. Be happy that this is the type of man he is.
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Being in a relationship with someone who has a child you gotta get over your ego . That child always will come first and u as the gf should be encouraging coparenting.
Why is he unable to take care of a 2 year old by himself?
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At 2 is not to little to be with dad alone and the child should bond with just dad and girlfriend but there is no reason mom and dad can get alone for the child and do somethings together
A man that is willing to co parent with his ex for the benefit of his child is a good thing. A boy who uses said child to spend time with his ex is not a good thing. Guess you have to figure out which side of the line he is on
My son’s dad and I always do things together. We have coffee atleast once a week together. I do things with our son on my own, same as him and his dad. But we still go and do activities together. My partner, his ex and their kids go and do things together, even went camping.
Note, our son is 7, but it shows children that both parents can get along and you can still do things together.
Just talk with him explain how you feel about not not knowing about the zoo trip people are real quick to judge a situation that their not in first thing in a relationship is communication!
If you don’t like that his ex is still in the picture due to a child, why be with him knowing he has a child to someone else. By the sounds of it he was honest about the ex being there, he didn’t lie. Doesn’t seem like his hiding it from you. Not sure why you would be upset about that.
I think as you are in a relationship with someone who has a child from a previous relationship, you have got to accept that the mother of the child will always be around. Maybe try and get involved in things and outings for the sake of your partner and potential step son. If you can’t accept the mother then this relationship will never work. Xx
So, you’re not okay with your partner spending time with his kid? It is massive for the kid’s development to see their parents get on and co parent. That’s a you problem.
Your boyfriend is being a good father. He should have a rapport with the mother of his child and he should be involved in that child’s life. It’s a good sign he wants to spend time with his kid
The only issue I see is that he didn’t tell you. Otherwise, it is great if two separated parents can be friends and doing things together with the child
It’s not the fact that the ex went to the zoo with the boyfriend for me it’s the fact that you weren’t invited that makes me suspicious. Why wouldn’t you all want to have a relationship when you’re helping to raise a child together? Furthermore, I know men that always keep the baby mom on the string and pretend like they’re going to get the family together when in reality they’re fucking other women and the baby mom. There’s a lot of unanswered questions here to assume it’s just good coparenting but at the same time if the first question you ask is with the baby mom it seems like you have underlying trust issues with the guy and Maybe there’s a reason why.
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To me that sounds like a very healthy co-parenting! My boyfriend takes his oldest daughter to theme park/cinema etc with the mother and her partner too and I don’t have an issue at all.
I’ve also gone to a restaurant with my oldests dad and if he lived closer would definitely do days out too.
If you can’t handle it I think maybe you should end things and try go with someone who doesn’t have the responsibility of kids.
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My ex and I still hang out with our son and do shopping all of it. We don’t have anything going on either. If I ever dated again and they didn’t like that I’d kick them to the curb kids come first, no time for jealous nonsense when kids involved
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It’s better for the child, and if you don’t want what’s better for the child you shouldn’t be with someone who has kids
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There are a lot of unknowns here as well. Is the mother a control freak? Is he allowed by the court to be alone or are they supervised visits only? Does the child have a dependency/need to be around there mother? Maybe plans changed and the zoo was a spur of the moment thing that he wanted to do for his child. If he had lied to you about the mother being there then there is definitely a issue. Sounds like he was pretty forthcoming and there just isnt enough information here to say one way or the other imo.
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Why do you keep calling her “the child”? Idk. I feel like that’s weird. As I was reading thru this post, (yes I get there is another point to the post but…) I kept thinking like…why lol It just makes it sound cold. Almost like you resent his baby girl or something. Again, idk. Just my opinion. Thought it was really weird🤔
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Just because they’re not together doesn’t mean that they aren’t still a family, it’s about the child getting to spend time with both parents regardless of whether they’re in a relationship or not. She had his baby so she will always be in his life. At the first day of school, birthdays, awards, graduations, wedding. If you can’t handle the zoo… You gonna have a difficult time
Maybe explain your worries and Thought a with him. In future he could at least let you know before hand. However he has a child with her and being amicable and giving their child time with both of them is very beneficial for the child. You cnt really stop that. But he can maybe help put you at ease if he is going with them. Maybe sometimes you could go Too? It’s good of you all get along
What’s the issue here? I’m assuming you knew he had a child before you got with him? It’s good that he and his ex can do things like this their child and the child has a healthy relationship with them both simultaneously.
If you are feeling some type of way though depending how long you’ve been together why not ask to be including in things like this? Perhaps build a relationship with the mother yourself also
Next time go out with them. I and my kids use to go to my husband’s daughter’s sports and the ex wife came, birthdays, outings… I even went with the ex wife and left the hubby home Make it a family affair. Great for the kids to see all adults are friends 
I’d go on a day trip with the ex if it made my daughter happy. Just cause he’s not ‘the one’ doesn’t mean we can’t co parent together and be amicable. My current partner and his current partner would completely understand… although they’d be invited too
Want to know what the quickest way to becoming the ex girlfriend? Be jealous of the mother of his child. This little boy should not be denied his parents because you’re insecure. If you have a problem, perhaps there are deeper problems with the relationship that are worth examining here.
Your boyfriend signed up for life when he became a father. Looks like he is taking fatherhood seriously.
Get used to it.
It doesn’t sound like you are ready to be a stepmother.
His ex-wife and your boyfriend have a job to do.
Be supportive.
as a stepmom the jealousy comes in waves. how the father sets boundaries with his babymomma is the determining factor. if boundaries are established and she respects them go all in. having a stepdaughter is the best. but if they both can’t Respect boundaries move on
If you can’t trust him w his kids mom you shouldn’t be with him. You cannot interfere with his relationship with his child… grow up
Nope ! Set the rules now. YOU should of been there…if you are his current woman in his life …
I can understand a holiday gathering with the EX-but not a day out…