My boyfriend won’t go on vacation with my children and me because his ex won’t let his daughter go. I am pregnant with twins, due in July and wanted to go to the beach before the twins were born. It makes me angry with him because I just feel like it’s unfair for us not to get to take a family vacation because his daughter can’t go. Her mom takes her on a family vacation with her every summer, so she still gets to go somewhere. Help!
Awww, that makes me sad. I can see both sides. He probably feels bad that his daughter won’t be there having fun too. Maybe he can convince his ex somehow?
Sounds like a good dad not letting his daughter behind very selfish of the mom doe
If he really wanted to go on the vacation he would…
I would recommend that the date try to have the custody agreement changed to allow the daughter out of state visits with dad.
Just go with your children. Your boyfriend not gonna enjoy it without his daughter.
Saw this post earlier today in another group but sounds like he doesn’t want to leave his daughter out. Even though she goes on vacation with her mom it’s still not her dad. I don’t blame him I wouldn’t either. Go by yourself if you really want to go
I understand why you are upset he won’t go, and I understand why he won’t go. Don’t shortchange your own kids though. If he won’t go that’s his choice. Take your kids yourself.
He sounds like a caring father
The issue is with the child’s mother, not your partner.
I would try to compromise. Do a fun “vacation time” with her book a hotel in the city and take her swimming and for ice cream or camping in the city so it’s still a little family vacation with his daughter then go do a grown up vacation without her before you have the twins. That way he gets a vacation with his daughter and with you.
I still don’t see why he won’t go?? Sorry the daughter can’t but they’re his family too so there’s no reason he can’t go with them.
Using that as an excuse he just doesn’t wanna go besides your pregnant so you won’t be doing much with your kids and maybe he his idea vacation is peace and quiet laxing out not having to run around after your 2
Are we supposed to be travelling right now ? Maybe your allowed where you are …?
He needs to go back to court if his court documents don’t mention time allowed for vacation. Sounds like the moms being a bratt. The judge would definitely allow vacation
You have every right to be upset but also try and put yourself in his shoes. He obviously feels very strong about not leaving her. Maybe find somewhere closer than the beach? Could be he doesn’t want her to feel as if she has been replaced.
Then go on it without him. He wants his daughter to go but maybe mom doesn’t want her to go cause of COVID-19? You sound petty saying her mom takes her on a family vacation with her every summer so she still gets to go somewhere . Well guess what that’s her mom NOT her dad. Her dad wants to do things with his daughter too ya know. Be mad all you want seriously but it won’t make a difference except drive a wedge between u guys. And also if you’re due to give birth in July I highly doubt you’ll enjoy going to a beach being this far along in your pregnancy especially since you’ll be running around chasing your other kids.
It’s time for him to go to court and fix his parenting time. If he had a set schedule there is nothing his ex can do to withhold child or make stupid rules.
Meanwhile compromise and plan to vacations one that his daughter can attend and the other at the beach.
It’s not really a family vacation without the whole family ( meaning the daughter) but the bitter baby momma isn’t fair either. But that being said is this trip going to interfere with his scheduled time to see her ? If so it’s valid he is picking his child over a vacation. If it’s when he is supposed to see her then if he truly wanted to go on vacation he’d go and not use the daughter as and excuse. It sounds like a very unfortunate situation all the way around
He wants his child included. I wouldn’t go on a family vacation either if mine couldn’t go. If he does go he’s not gonna have any fun so just go with your kids and then do something in town with all the kids so he can enjoy it too. You are fortunate enough to have your kids and take them anywhere you want. He isn’t so you need to understand him from a fathers perspective because unfortunately most fathers don’t have the same privileges as mothers when it comes to there kids. Also if the vacation falls on his time with his daughter he probably doesn’t want to miss it
Id def be upset but I wouldn’t let my kids miss out on having a good time/summer.
I’d just go without him.
He needs to go file at the court house he should be allowed to take her if the mother is allowed to take her. Take her butt to court.
Sounds like you’re the issue.
Bit unfair if you ask me this lady is also carrying his twins so if In the future his daughter can’t go he still ain’t going to go with his other 2 bit strange that one
If the mom can take her on vacation then the dad should be allowed. He needs to take her to court and make it fair
How is it a family vacation for him when his daughter wouldn’t be there? Just you and yours. As for her mum taking her on holiday, what a petty remark! You sound like a right Bitch, that’s a child, HIS child and you continuing with this favouritism mentality will only push him away. Grow up.
He sounds childish and so does the ex, his daughter is not the only priority you are carrying his children and youve not got long left of your pregnancy so depending on how long the vacation is your likely going to need help, also will this no go without his daughter still apply when the twins are born? Or is this just a one off? If it’s only for a day or 2 id just go and not make a big deal out of it but if it’s longer tell him to sort his shit out.
Why not plan it during custody day? I’m confused.
Why can’t the daughter go??
Sounds like he just doesn’t want to go. He could go when he doesn’t have his daughter
He’s being petty, I’d go and have a great time with my kids
He sounds like a bitch that’s why. Seriously some men need to grow some brains
He needs to go to court and get a schedule sorted out so the mum can’t turn round and say its not happening
Is the holiday times including days he would have his child if so then its being selfish to expect him to drop his child to go on a “family holiday”
Why not compromise and do a local holiday to include his child and then another one just for you guys
Just go by yourself. When you take your kids on holiday, I take it you won’t be allowed to unless has to as well? You’re allowed to go with your other half alone, or just with your kids or just go anyway on your own. It’s nice to have that alone time before a baby comes.
Would it be fair if your kids dad dint let your children go but he’s was aloud…??
Time to pack up the kids and go without him. .
You shouldn’t have to have your actions be controlled by baby mamas actions. Take your beach vacation.
Ok so I completely agree with both sides of the comments you’re getting. You do have a right to be upset, those are your feelings and he should do something through court but that’s not going to get done in time for you to go probably.
but also… My first thought while reading it was it’s not a family vacation unless the whole family is there and obviously he considers his daughter a part of the family you all have made and maybe you don’t as much? I mean it’s crappy of the ex but at the same time… We are still in a pandemic, and I wouldn’t allow my child to go on vacation because of that.
I say go with your kids, they deserve alone time with their mom before the new babies arrive.
Thsts messed up he should still go your still a family. But why doesnt she get to ? The mother just wont allow it ?
Go without him! I go without my SO all the time. And we go without his son from a previous marriage too of he is unable to arrange his schedule to go (he’s a little older)
Maybe plan a family vacation for a time he has her.
Get. A. Lawyer. Or better yet GO WITHOUT HIM
Plan for a time he has her? Follow the custody schedule.
Leave him behind and go
It’s not a family vacation if his daughter isn’t there.
Thats not fair. But I’d just go without him.
Id take the kids and go without him
It would be helpful to know why she can’t go. Is it because she can’t leave town without mom’s permission or is it that the vacay was planned on a weekend dad doesn’t have her?
Soooo you’re mad he’s thinking about his daughter and not just you? While it sounds like you couldn’t care less about the daughter, I would be devastated, as a child, if my dad went on vacation with his “new” family and I didn’t go.
Might be the unpopular opinion but this dad loves his daughter and he shouldn’t be punished for that. He wants her to join him - not all dads are that way.
Go without him. Who cares! I honestly would just go without him. I’ve done it without my husband but it was because he had to work.
If he won’t go then take a vacation with some friends. Then come back and tell him how amazing it was.
Go with your kids and have fun
Sounds like you weren’t aware of his baby mama drama prior to getting pregnant. But now that you know, you can stay home or you can get a few friends or family members together and go somewhere fun.
Protect your peace.
Can we get updates on these? We never find out what happens.
As someone who has a daughter someone’s had to accept… it bothers me that you keep saying “his daughter”
The way I see it, it’s not a family vacation. It’s a You + Him vacation before YOUR kids are born and HIS kid comes around.
Figure it out or go alone
If you want to go so badly then you go. Maybe plane a trip local she can go to around the custodial schedule. He doesnt want to have her feel less like part of his family with the new babies coming I bet.
Go by yourself or with a friend
But don’t be mad he wanted his child included that’s kinda selfish.
Go without him. Don’t punish your kids over him.
Sounds like you don’t consider his daughter to be family. You’re the problem not him.
Take your babies and go without him.
- It’s not his fault. 2. Does he have a custody agreement? His ex could be saying no because she’s a twat 3. It’s still not his fault. You shouldn’t be mad at him when he wants his girl to go too.
Go without. I did the later and didn’t go over spring break due to the same circumstances. I regret it.
Tell him to figure his mama drama shit out
Sounds like the beginning of some bs to deal with for the rest of your life to me. F that, flip the control on him pretend you don’t want him to do anything with you and be so happy all the time doing everything without him. He will be begging to go
So he doesn’t want to go without his daughter; and his daughter can’t go because her mother won’t let her? Why doesn’t she allow her to go with y’all? There’s a lot of missing information here, so for now Sorry that’s just baby mama drama. Either deal with it and go by yourself or someone else or stay home with him. We don’t know what the custody rules or what agreement they have between them but Going by the little information you provided it seems that you guys are never going to go on a family vacation because they cannot compromise.
All this drama should have been solved before you became pregnant. For sake of your own sanity try to find a middle ground right now with your boyfriend and the mother of his previous child before your twins arrive.
I have been in this same situation. And it’s really hard because my son from a previous relationship and his daughter from a previous relationship weren’t home at the same times during the summer and it was hard to have to choose who got to go. And of course you want your boyfriend to be involved. I see both sides and it’s really hard. I don’t think it makes you selfish to want to go even if his daughter can’t go, you still want to have family vacations and blended families make it difficult. I would still go and try to have fun. There’s always next time
this is a double edged sword. it isn’t his fault that his ex is keeping the child from going and if it’s something that’s hurting him, he has every right to decline. that said, i understand why you’re upset.
This is one of rare moment’s when dad actually dont abond child,but actually cares.
U cant ask him to choose between u and his child.
U will have to find some solution.
But sorry U sound a bit selfish,although i dont know the situation in details.
U could be wrong or his ex.
My step kids live with us full time but visits their mom in the summer. We went to the mountains without them cause the only time we could go was when they were gone. But they are like on a mini vacation every time they go see her. So we didn’t feel bad for it. Of course we did something on a smaller scale when they got home. But we go on as planned. We can’t help how things go when blended families are involved and exes who probably just won’t let her go to be a butt.
She seems bitter and it might be out of his control. Just go alone with your kids and enjoy it. He might even regret not going with you after. You’re about to have twins, protect your peace.
I don’t think it’s selfish to want him to go especially if you’re pregnant with twins by him. But you can’t control his daughter not going so if he refuses because you guys can’t control that just go anyway, don’t miss out!
Go alone he’s a boyfriend not a husband and definitely not your mother’s child.
Tell him to get over himself I would take the vacation anytime my daughter goes to Florida more than I do
Seems like he’s being a good dad and considering his daughters feelings in this situation. Would you be okay with going on a “family” vacation if for whatever reason your other kids couldn’t go? Go without him if it’s that important to you and take the time to think about exactly who you consider “your family” in the process.
Nah !!! Yall should still be able to be a family and do family stuff. Its the bio moms fault for not letting the kid go:woman_facepalming:. So I would go without his ass
So wait until it’s his week (as long as he has partial custody) and take them both.
Bro you’re mad he doesn’t want to do FAMILY things without literally half over his family?
Maybe y’all need to have a talk with the mom.
I would pack us up and go by my damn self.
If he and his daughter aren’t family, then take your family vacation with the people you consider family. If he’s family then his daughter is, too… so the family isn’t completely there right?
I would be very upset if I was pregnant with some guys babies and he wouldn’t go on vacation with me. Kind of doesn’t make any sense…it’s not her fault his daughter isn’t going.
Ummmm we would kindly be going w/o him dear…
This is why he’s your boyfriend… not husband… y’all aren’t taking a family trip
I would go alone and let him know that more family trips will be solo if this is a constant situation. Sorry
Enjoy your vacation by the ocean momma! He can stay home with his daughter! No need to suffer because he’s indecisive. Your pregnant now! Make yourself happy and stop waiting around for him!
It might be time to see a marriage counseler.
Wow! He is a rare breed. That is exactly what a man should do. Bravo to him for being an amazing dad!
Definitely he should be talking to the court about this. He has every right to bring his child on vacation. Seems like the mom is being petty.
Baby if he don’t want to go because his daughter can’t then I’d have a freaking blast by myself. Sounds like he just don’t want to go. Is he going to do the same thing with y’all’s kids because his other baby momma won’t let they child do something ? I mean that’s just crazy to me.
Awesome! He sounds amazing. This is the start of a beautiful life!
Go without him because just because he doesn’t want to and it’s kinda reasonable to a point that shouldn’t stop you from taking your kids and enjoying the beach… if he gets upset that’s on him he chose not to go with.
Leave your children with your mother and take your pregnant ass to the beach just because he’s not going doesn’t mean you can’t go
Leave him, cause it’s no good when his ex tries to run you family. Seen it happen to a freind. She’ll never change, and not fair to your kids .
Sounds like you mom need to take this vacation alone then. Allow him to stay home with all kids and make this trip for you to relax
Before your hands are literally full
Go anyways. While it sucks his daughter can’t go and she does go on vacation with her mom. It’s not fair to ur kids to never get to go on a vacation bc his daughter can’t go. I had a similar situation but it’s not fair that I can’t do anything with my son bc he couldn’t take his kid or kids.
Putting his kids first… Would you be ok if your twins couldn’t go? No… he wants to go with his whole family. Nothing wrong with that.
Wait, so you already have kids from previous relationship, and want to take them with, so he wants to take his daughter with as well but she can’t. Why bring any kids at all honestly? I have 7 month old twins myself and I would have done ANYTHING to have a trip without kids before the arrived. I love my boys to death and would do anything for them. But once they are here, it’s VERY hard to find a baby sitter for them because there’s not just one but TWO. And thats very intimidating to people. Find a friend and go instead. But don’t hold yourself back just because the boyfriend doesn’t want to go.
I’ve gone on my own with multiple children, even as they were only a few months old. Just go lol you’ll regret it if you don’t. Its unfortunate, but everyone shouldn’t miss out.
He needs a lawyer so she can’t call the shots id be mad too its very unfair to u and ur children he needs to hear this
Sounds like he should go to family court. It will be a very long life if he lets her rule your home.
He can still do things without his daughter too. My boyfriend has kids from a previous relationship and as much as he asks to see them or have them come with us anywhere the mom never says yes. Is that going to stop him from doing things with myself and our son? No. Does it hurt us both that they can’t come? Absolutely. But you pick and choose your battles and if she’s like that all the time then when will you ever do fun things together? His kids go/do so much stuff with the mom and her husband already so it’s not like they’re missing out on anything special. They probably have more fun with them anyway lol
The LAST thing I wanted to do was go to the beach when I was 2 months away from due date and pregnant with my twins. So ya know what, if you really feel up to going then you pack yourself up and your children up and go to the beach. Leave his ass home with his daughter! Yes it sucks he won’t join you but that’s his loss not yours!! Once those babies are born you aren’t going to want to do too much so go and enjoy it now while you can