I thought this was A group where we give TERRIBLE advice at first 
Im in to many groups
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The term " his daughter" indicates that perhaps you have not bonded with his child. My ex husband’s daughter was always my bonus daughter. She called me mama for the 21 years we were together and even now 15 years after her dad and I parted ways she still does and we are still close. I consider her my daughter too. It took her mother a year to be comfortable and accepting of me but that is to be expected. Once she saw I truly loved her daughter and she was treated the same as our new baby together she was absolutely fine with our relationship.
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Tbh my bfs daughter is asked if she wants to go if so she goes if not she doesn’t but we still go. Do they have a court arrangement? If so he can probably take her back to see the judge and get it written that as long as its yalls week (and I would ensure we got her for atleadt a week during summer) rhen mom can’t say no because whats done at yalls house is yalls business unless it harms the child. She can’t keep her from going I would be in court fr
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I get where he’s coming from but either he’s going to have to get over it and join you without her or you’re going to have to get over it and do it without him or not at all. Neither of you are in the wrong.
My husband and I each have 2 kids from our previous marriage. It took us a little while to get over the fact that each set of kids are going to miss out and that’s just life. We shouldn’t be held back from experiences just because someone is going to miss out. We just make sure when the kids are sharing their experiences they’re doing so nicely and not rubbing it in kind of thing.
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With her being so far along with twins she needs him there so she can enjoy herself he needs to make her a priority as well she counts . The daughter can blame her mom
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Well at least he has a conscience.
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Hmmmm. He needs to go to court. He should be able to take his daughter.
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What happens when the twins arrive and the daughter still cant go? Will he stop you taking the twins too as they are his family?
Also if it is such a problem for him then why doesn’t he seek legal advice on his custody agreement to include his daughter?
Sounds like you need to have some serious conversations with your boyfriend.
Also take your kids away without him. Your childrens shouldn’t miss out because of him and his ex’s drama.
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Go without the boyfriend. Make it his choice
I’m going
Come or don’t come
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That’s unfair to you and his daughter unless there’s a logical reason his daughter can’t go then the mother is just being petty.
I would go on vacation anyway, and try to plan a separate vacation with her, you and your children shouldn’t miss out because of something out of your control.
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IMO you can’t really be angry with him for not wanting to go without his daughter on a family vacation, especially if you are bringing your kids. He probably wanted all of the kids to be there, including his daughter & maybe he’s upset/sad that he can’t take her so he doesn’t want to go??
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I see some of these comments and I cant be sure but it sounds like the ones commending him for not going are the baby mama of others and are just bitter… anyways there needs to be an answer for why she cant go, is her mom just not letting her? Is it planned on his time with her? Or what
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Sounds like a good dad. My child’s father will always choose his girlfriends kids over ours and go with them while he has our kid stay at his grandmothers if they’re doing something fun.
I’d still go and enjoy it! Will the daughter be with him while you go to the beach?
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Hes wrong thats an excuse
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All this “go to court” for what? That lady not stopping anything, the man is…so take yo kids and go to the beach, leave him at home.
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Husband or not when you lay with someone and are Building a life with someone then you are a family marriage is paper for the govt. Nothing else. Biblically you are already married. I can see his position but he needs to understand you his new babies and your kids are his family and he needs to show that same energy to you. Take your break with your babies without him and breathe bc we know when the babies come sleep is gone for a while along with sometimes showers and postpartum depression is real.
Hopefully you both can talk this out and enjoy the new lives your bringing.
Yeah no I wouldn’t be very happy with his decision. It’s not like you’re saying his daughter can’t go, bc that would be a completely different situation. In this situation, it’s ridiculous IMO that he doesn’t wanna go bc of that. 
I am freaking shocked at the shit I am reading here.
Women all the time (myself included) go on and on about how shitty it is that men drop their kids for JUST ABOUT ANYTHING ELSE… and here we have a father who’s doing the opposite. He’s taking his daughter’s feelings and schedule into consideration and now he’s being made out to be the bad guy because he doesn’t want to take (what she’s claiming is) a “family vacation” without her??? That’s a good ass father.
This thread is shit.
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You and your children get packed and ready go. He will hopefully step up and go with , if not you and your kids go without him and enjoy yourselves. It’s not fair to you or your kids good luck
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I have 2 bonus boys with my boyfriend as well as our 2 yr old… their mother can be difficult at times and awesome at others if she didn’t allow the boys to go on a vacay with us we’ll be honest and tell them. Hey this is where we are going your mom won’t let you go we’ll plan again & hope they can come the next time. Luckily for us she could careless what we do with them in our care or where we go as long as we give her a proper heads up… now in the even my bf does not want to go without his first borns that is fine I’ll either stay or have family go with me… now a big deal… in my opinion from seeing the “his kids” if you’re not accepting them as “y’all’s kids” you need to pack up and go. Not trying to be mean but I’d hate for someone to say “my bf kids” when they are now “our kids!”
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I’d say eff it and go to the spa. Being at the beach while that pregnant is miserable.
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Is he just wanting to wait and go on a weekend when y’all have his kid? Or does he not ever want to go bcus BM won’t ever allow the kid to go too?
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Can plan your vacation on his time? Then it’s not an issue. And if you’re going out of state and that’s the issue then maybe find something on a lake instead
Sounds like the ex is controlling your relationship!
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Just go without him it’s not that big a deal he obviously doesn’t want to go without his child for a reason you might wanna maybe see a counselor you and your man or maybe reconsider y’all’s relationship if this is gonna be a type of issue in y’all’s relationship that’s gonna keep happening because I see some major issues coming if y’all can’t come to some kinda agreement I understand you wanting him to go and I understand him not wanting to go without his child but at same time don’t make your other kids suffer and not because he doesn’t wanna go and him probably not going because he doesn’t want to exclude his daughter so I understand both sides y’all might wanna talk about it and come up with some kinda understanding with each other good luck
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If my kids couldn’t go I wouldn’t go plain and simple. I don’t blame him at all
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I see where you’re coming from, I do. My boyfriend asked me to go out of town with him & his kids while my son was with his dad. I let them go without me, because I knew my son would be hurt if I took a vacation with him not being included even though it was beyond my control
Sounds as though the girls mom is only saying no because she knows he won’t go without his girl. Also it might be wise to sit down and discuss with him the possibility of things like this happening in the future, eventually your kids are going to realize they’re missing out on things 
Personally I couldn’t stay in a relationship dictated by his ex.
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I see why he doesn’t want hi daughter hurt. It not fair that his ex is putting him in the middle. But I dont think he’s right. He needs to go anyways and talk to his daughter about how he would love to take her but he can’t, wordjng is important because he doesn’t want to “blame” the ex but also she needs to know it’s not his choice and he’s not excluding her.
The ex needs to realise it her kid who will get hurt by her actions. She will feel left out of dads new family and grow resentment. She wants to hurt her ex but thats not the only one she’s letting down. Maybe if he can tell her that, then she will come around.
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That’s the baby momma controlling his moves and life. Screw that.
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That’s annoying as hell I’m sorry you’re having to deal with that! I’d be angry.
You go on vacation…
If one of my kids couldn’t go I wouldn’t want to either, I understand your point of view but I would feel the same as him
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Nothing against the step daughter but if it were me, I would want to go spend some time with my boyfriend, just us, before we have TWO babies.
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There are a lot of holes in this story. What is the rest of it? With just the story at hand. I have 2 kids. If I had one child that could not go on a vacation for whatever reason, I wouldn’t go. I got left behind a lot and it sucks.
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Why can’t the daughter go? Is it on mom’s time or his? I don’t think it’s fair to be upset with him. Either take someone else with who wants to go, or do something for yourself! I saw someone else say a spa day. Pamper yourself.
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Wow! These comments. No this is absolutely unfair to you and your kids! So the world stops revolving when she isn’t there and the ex gets to have say when YOU AND YOUR KIDS GET A VACATION? Hell no. So his daughter doesn’t have to miss out on shit, but your kids do? Just because she can’t go on one vacation with you and your kids? Life doesn’t stop when our step kids are not around or can’t go. This means his ex has control over your kids and your life! Nope. Its bullshit. He should want to make memories and bond with you and your kids too. He is saying to you “you and your kids do not get a vacation unless my daughter does too. So when the ex says its fine, THEN you can get a beach vacation (that you probably deserve) I mean it should not happen every time, but one or two vacations without her is going to be fine. The child will survive. He will survive. Plus her Mom will take her somewhere anyway…without your kids!!! So why can’t you take your kids? So she will come over, brag to the kids about where her Mom took her for vacation and your kids have nothing to share because they didn’t get to go…no. Go with or without him momma! Seriously! Plan the trip! Can you do it financially without him?
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The mom is using the daughter as a pawn. He is falling for the game. Go enjoy your self with your kiddos. I bet he will go once he sees your not backing down. If he doesn’t you still don’t lose time with your kids.
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I wish my daughters dad did this. Him and his family just went to the ren feat and never even bothered to ask if they could bring his daughter but brought all her cousins with them
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Ok so here’s my take. Y’all should go on this family vacation during his parenting time. If he doesn’t have parenting time, he needs to GET OFF HIS ASS and go to court to GET parenting time. If he did and the COURT decided that he isn’t fit for any parenting time at all then that’s his own damn fault and I’d say he lost the right to not take the rest of his family on a vacation just bcus he did something to make it impossible to ever take the rest of his family.
Obviously there’s a few situations where this wouldn’t apply as it’s not always an easy black and white issue, but for the most part I feel like dad just never bothered to get parenting time and he’s allowing his ex to dictate when and where he sees his kid. He needs to fix it.
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I don’t see why he can’t go? I mean I get he’s upset he’d like to take his kid & doesn’t want her to feel left out but I mean its not his fault or yours
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His time with his daughter is his time and it’s not up to here where he takes his daughter
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Sounds like he needs to get his custody agreement handled.
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I’m with you on this one. Would it help him feel better if it were planned for a weekend that she is not with him?
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The world does not stop revolving when SK/BIO aren’t home. We do stuff with just ours/ just sk/ just my bio. Really big things like Disney we plan when we are all together but the beach? Whoever can go does, whoever can’t go doesn’t.
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Didn’t read the comments, but is there a reason his daughter can’t go? I’d put more effort into helping him solve that problem than the effort you’re putting into being upset with him because he feels guilty for having fun without his little girl. He’s being a good daddy. Help him solve that problem.
Get an attorney
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Seeing so many women that are ok with ditching the daughter scares me into staying married forever. I wouldn’t want a step mom like that for my kids!!!
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That’s redic. U should go and enjoy yourself. His lose
I said no for my ex taking our son because he had threatened multiple times to not come back… him canceling because of it is his problem not mine… tell him to grow up or he’ll end up with 2 ex families like my ex did…
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I understand his side especially if ur going during his time with his daughter, maybe change the vacations dates 2 dates he doesn’t get 2 see his daughter and i assume those are his twins in ur tummy so maybe remind him of that 2…
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Just go with your kids you won’t get another chance like that again
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Ummm. He’s being ridiculous. I would absolutely not be happy. I get it sucks she can’t go with. But there’s nothing you can do about it. He needs to get over it.
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Girl if he aint willing to give you the respect u deserve is time to leave his ass sorry but i wouldnt let anyone mess up a vacation to the beach if his daughter cant go for whatever reason then she cant go he needs to man up i know thats his daughter and watever but he needs to think about u aswell ur twins will be here soon and then what you coudnt go and enjoy yourself with him…
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Is your boyfriends daughter not part of your family?
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Take you and the kids
I’d go with or without him… i get where he’s coming from and its enough notice that i don’t see why she couldn’t go unless her mom is that bitter.
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So why can’t u all go when the daughter is at the mothers? If there is not a good explanation for that he clearly doesnt want to go. Don’t let a man stop u from doing what YOU want otherwise there is only going to be resentment.
I would say use the money you would spend on vacay and get an attorney. His daughter should be treated as if she is your daughter, and as long as you both are happy and healthy for her… there is no reason why she can’t go…
If the biomom wants to fight you, take her to court and there is no judge in the world that will stop you guys from going on vacation…
These bio Karen moms are outta control, if you didn’t want to share custody of your child, you shouldn’t have had a child with someone you aren’t married to,…
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Missing too much info imo. What is his custody agreement? Are you asking during a special time? I highly suggest trying to build a relationship with mom now. I’m assuming the twins are his? There has to be something going on that you are only hearing one side. Talk to her momma.
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Why won’t his ex let his daughter go, does she have any legal say in that? I would be trying to work with her to get the daughter to come.
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If y’all are telling her mom every step y’all take stop that shit! Unless there are limits in the paperwork then do what y’all do together…
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Why don’t you plan the vacation for when he has his daughter with him? I wouldn’t want to go on vacation without all my kids either. He sounds like a good dad to me.
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Everyone saying he’s doing the right thing. That’s ridiculous no he’s not. He’s a step dad too so not going away with the step kids when his daughter isn’t allowed is bad parenting too why are you saying she’s in the wrong for wanting to take her kids away with her partner not her fault the ex is bitter. And asking if the daughter is not part of her family, she’s obviously tried inviting the child but the mother won’t allow it. That’s not her or her own kids fault is it.
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Does the ex have the right to prevent him from taking his daughter on a vacation, per their custody & visitation agreement? If not, he needs to address that with the ex. If so, he needs to hire an attorney to sort that out. In the meantime, tell him you wish he would reconsider but that he can use the time you’re away to handle this stuff. Then go without him. (Yes, you can. I am a long-time military wife. I promise that you and the kids can have a great time even if he doesn’t go) Don’t let his EX ruin vacation for you and your kids. That is allowing her too much power and control.
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That sucks his child can’t go but u said she goes with her mother on vacations so he needs get over it you are pregnant and this is a time u can go and relax before your babies come so he needs to be more understanding and look at your point of view. He’s being ridiculous in my opinion. Tell him he needs to get over it n go or your going without him because that’s not fair to you or your children to have to cancel, then a month down there road find out his child got to go with her mother and you guys canceled… Girl go!! You got twins coming this is your time to do you before the babies come. That’s crazy he’s acting that way.
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Go:clap:t3:by:clap:t3:yourself 
!
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Is he losing out on visiting time? If not might be staying home for other reasons
The mom probably doesn’t want her daughter far away in case something happens. Which can be understandable. But I wouldn’t let it stop my vacation. If I was a step mom I’d make the vacation on the week or weekend whatever that you usually get the child. If it’s a problem that it’s on her time with their daughter.
That’s f***** up! I can assure you that his issue is not with you, it’s within himself. It’s very common for dad’s to have what I call " guilty dad syndrome". It’s basically him trying to over compensate for him not being in her life on a daily basis. My husband suffers from that. In the last 11 years he has only went on vacation with the kids and I maybe 5 times. He used to say it’s because he can’t be in a vehicle for an extended period of time and that he couldn’t take not even 1 day off work. Smh. Although it broke my heart and he has missed out on so many opportunities to make memories with us, that he will never get back, I started going alone with our 3 children. It wasn’t fair for our kids to miss out on so much nor was it fair that I allowed it to happen. It wasn’t fair for me to continue not going just because he made up excuses as to why he couldnt come. That is his loss…he has to live with it. I would encourage you to go ahead and go with your children. This is a time for you to spend some quality time with them before the arrival of your precious babies. 
please don’t do what I allowed for so many years. That’s something that I regret and have to live with. I often think about everything I allowed our kids to miss out on for years. Not anymore!! I refuse to spend my life waiting on him. We still have a wonderful relationship, I just stopped expecting him to come with us. I know it’s difficult to be the only adult on vacation with multiple kiddos, it does get easier. The kids with adapt to it well over time and will start behaving better for you and realize that they should help mama out. sorry my comment was so long.
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Go with u and ur kids, don’t need him there
Your kids and you right? So I guess he’s not the father to your other kids, now would you be ok with taking a trip with him, HIS daughter, and leaving 1 of YOUR other children behind? You have to understand him he feels guilty. Maybe try and figure out why mom won’t let her go with you guys. Maybe she’s just being a b**** and says no to ruin your plans . (It happens) you can’t expect him to exclude his child from everything just because y’all are starting a new family. You had your kids and he had his when y’all met so you need to work together and try to make things work or else y’all are gonna be each others ex’s with children on common. 
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Take you and the kids leave the man
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It is truly unfair to you that he’s not willing to go all because his daughter can’t. What about you ? At the end of the day he’s prior prioritizing his daughter and NOT you. The daughter and her mother wins ! Because like you said she still gets to go every summer with her mom but you can’t go because of her
Someone please make it make sense
He should consider you regardless if the child cannot come
The child mother is to be blamed kmt
Blended families are super complicated
That’s why i get it when people don’t wanna get with anyone who has kids
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Try to look at this a different way-- would you go on a vacation with him & his child without your own? How would that make you feel?
The rough reality about blended families is that it rarely goes perfectly planned. You never want to leave anyone out & you certainly don’t want any hurt feelings. Because you also have babies on the way, you’ll need to start thinking of his daughter as equally as you do yours because that is your babies sister. Rather than be upset with your spouse, use this trip as a last getaway with your children before their new siblings join the family. And communicate with your spouse on how you want to handle things like vacations and holidays in the future. Compromise is key 
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So… he should have 4 weeks vacation time to utilize over the summer months. And, as long as its in writing 60 days prior to the date, you can do and go wherever you guys want during his vacation time. You can take 2 weeks consecutive. Or break it up into 4 separate weeks. That gives you plenty of time to travel with his daughter included in the trip. Good luck girl. Bitter baby mommas are so hard to deal with.
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I personally think that’s not a reason for him to not go on vacation with you and your kids. It’s not like you are saying she can’t go with. Then I would say you are being shitty lol but that’s not the case. I get weird with my kids at the beach without me so I can kinda get that but that’s no reason for him to not go with
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Odesha Dinham thoughts
He simply doesn’t want to go anywhere…
That’s a lame excuse…
She can’t go because the mother don’t want her to?? Go without her simple…
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I understand your frustration I really do. Maybe he wants to stay to let his daughter have some time with just him before the twinnies are here? Just a thought! Talk to him tell him its upsetting for you and let him know how you feel, hope you manage to work something out. Take it easy xx
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I believe he just don’t want to go for only he no bit as for u I would go knowing it could be to much I would ask ur mom r a friend if he doesn’t go and take a lot of fun pic u will enjoy urself it would be fun have a great time
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I don’t see what the problem is. Just because she can’t go doesn’t mean it should stop you and your kids from going. If she goes on vacations with her mom then he should be OK with going.
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I can understand him not wanting to go. Why is mom saying no to a vacation with you guys?
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Sometimes I wonder if the questions posted here are legitimate .
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I’d feel bad going with him if he’s just going to be bummed anyway. 
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I’d take my kids and go
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Um isn’t his daughter family too?
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If HIS DAUGHTER is not considered family… You not only need to go to the beach alone but stay there
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- Take daughter back to mom go on vacay go back and get her
- Take a friend fuck it leave them both
- Plan an alternative vacay that you all can go on
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Why don’t you take yourself and your kids then.
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You got with a man who had already had a child. That kind of relationship comes with challenges. This is one of those challenges. You don’t get to have your way when you coparent, especially if your man won’t leave his child behind. I would support your man. You have the rest of your lives together. Put all the children first and life will be gravey.
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Sorry, but good for him! My kids dad has gone on vacation without a second thought about even asking his kids to go, and while that might not be the case with y’all at least he recognizes a family vacation isn’t a one without his family…
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It’s not her fault the ex won’t let the child go!!! And he shouldn’t put off going with his step kids because of it!!!
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I’d be pissed too he shouldn’t be doing that because princess can’t go
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I would go without him!! Your kids are more important then he is so take your kids and have a great time!!!
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Talk to the mom and ask her mom what vacation does she approve of and then when yall go u do what u want bc tbh if he has rights he has the right take his daughter on vacation with out her permission
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Your boyfriend needs to get his rights established.
It’s not his fault but maybe he’s just trying to be fair to his kid. Sounds like it has nothing to do with you but you’re mad at him for it. Lol
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Woah woah woah… You’re irritated because he standing by his daughter? I’m with him on this one. Need to talk to the ex and figure out why she can’t go.
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The mother won’t let the daughter go because she’s mad y’all didn’t invite her too! 
If it is his time to spend with his daughter the wife can’t say what they can or can’t do on his time. If it’s not his time then maybe y’all can schedule it on his time and he won’t have to ask her.
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