You have every right to be annoyed
In order for coparenting to work, the other has to want to coparent. Seems she looking for a power grab and probably knows he wont go without her and that’s why she says no
I’d just take a girlfriend and leave his ass behind
Wow. You’re horrible.
Literally ALL of y’all are misreading this. The mom of the girl won’t let her go. It’s not like this woman doesn’t want her to go. And she has a right to wanna go on a vacation before adding NEWBORN TWINS to this mix.
Also I’m gonna shame birth mom here for choosing pettiness over letting her daughter go on vacation with dads side of family
Everyones always complaining about dead beat dads and now we have many pissed off and dissing a dad thats standing his ground on behalf of his daughter… Take a step back and be blessed. Your kids with him arent his only children🤦
Is the hoilday booked in his time with the child ?. Are there any orders in place to stop a hoilday ?
If its in his time and doesn’t effect the ex then he can take her
I understand how he doesn’t want to exclude his daughter… but he should have a few full weeks throughout the year and a month or so during the summer as the non custodial parent, and his ex doesn’t get an opinion about what y’all do unless it’s harmful to the child. If standard orders are not in place, y’all need to get them asap. His ex will only get more controlling and possessive of their daughter as y’all grow your family 
Can we normalize not using children as petty pawns because you don’t like your ex/exes new girl either? It’s way too common even if that isn’t this situation. Consider your children instead of your own personal relationship feelings.
Tbh with you i wouldnt want to go if we all couldnt go anyway. We are a family so we go as a family. Change the date and try to figure out why the ex says no, there has to be a reason even if its a shitty one. I understand why he doesnt want to go but he also shouldnt let his ex dictate his life. He needs to stand up to her and tell her he is taking his daughter on a trip and if she doesnt like it then tough tits.
Leave your kids with him and go alone sis, 
screw it
Here’s all the possibilities I can think of mama:
Please don’t overthink mama, talk to your boyfriend and see what is going on. How is he seeing it, don’t stop communicating. I’m praying for you !! Stay strong 
Why can’t the daughter go? Is she at risk? Is there a health concern? Those are my follow up questions.
I get he wants to stand by his child. But as a mother of I month old twins I understand why she wants to go and she needs it!! Find someone else to go with. It is a shame the Mom is being petty and not letting her go too, whether it’s her time or not.
So your boyfriend has a daughter with another woman, and the ex won’t let her daughter go? Or am I misreading…
I dunno. Kinda extreme. If she can’t go, she can’t go. That doesn’t mean he should stay behind and let his family go without him. He should want to go, regardless.
Some parents get anxiety when they go anywhere outside of the area their kids are… I don’t go on vacation unless my kids come with us. Some of us believe in “family”.
And you’re having children with this man? In the future, are your children supposed to miss out on his presence because his child’s mother is vindictive 
So basically the ex has control over y’all honestly because you can go somewhere based on her decision. It would be wrong of you if you didn’t want his daughter to go but if you want her to go and none of tall can because of the ex’s choice you have a pos that’s not over his ex and still listens to her. Been there done that won’t last
I think you are overreacting… from an outside point of view. I understand the frustration yes, but don’t make a big fuss about it. He has another child and obligation, and wants to include her to have fun with the family, and being that she can’t go would make him feel guilty for having fun without her. Be grateful he feels strongly about his kid! As he will yours! This is totally not his fault.
Birth mom is ridiculous for not letting his child go on vacation with their family. This is a tough spot because the child is important yes BUT what is he going to do when his twins are born?? Not ever go on a family vacation?
Take birth mom to court.
That’s bullshit. He needs to get over it. What a poor excuse!!!
What an asshole go without him and think about leaving him the trash
If his ex says the kid cant go,why the hell is his new family made to stay home.They deserve to be and if he refuses to go because his EX not letting his daughter go.Tough shit, it’s not the new family’s fault.If he dont go it’s because he still letting his ex bitch control him.Ots not his daughter’s fault… Go and have a great vacation and send his EX a fuck you post card.If he dont take you,then hes a dick
Why does his daughter even have to go?!? You mean to tell me you’ve never gone on a couple trip by yourselves? How is the relationship supposed to last if it’s all about including his daughter in everything you do? Couples need alone time too away from home and away from kids.
Why isn’t she “allowed” to go, he has just as much say as she does, why can’t you bring her on your time with her? I would fight that…
Go by yourself then. I spent my mother’s day with my children in Cali because my SO wanted to throw a fit about something irrelevant. Screw it!
Imo going to the beach for the day is not a family vacation
I have been there… my oldest son’s “maker” (he has nothing to do with him so my husband is his dad) has other children and their mom was hcbm, we planned everything and she legit said if we take her kids she would call the cops for kidnapping. We went without them. We felt bad, but they went on vacations with her and why does everyone have to miss out bc a crazy baby momma?! We didn’t rub it in their face we acted like nothing. Maybe if it is questioned why she didn’t get to go, tell her to ask her mom 
I know its a sticky situation but I 100% understand where you are coming from
Can you guys go when he has his time with her? Is there a specific reason she doesn’t want her to go or is she just being a bitch? He probably doesn’t want to go because he doesn’t want the daughter to hear about it and feel left out later? I know if I was in that situation I’d rather not go because I’d feel bad that my daughter could feel left out by it
Uhhh his daughters mom is also being a dummy lol. She should be able to come! Or just go with you two as a baby moon
Ya no. That would fly with me. Go on vacation with or without him. See ya.
That is basically letting the ex control the situation. The daughter will grow up to resent her mom for being that damn petty. In the meantime though y’all are about to have more children and need a nice getaway before the busy life with twins comes. I commend him for being a good dad and wanting to protect his daughters feelings by not going without her but he needs to consider everyone’s feelings involved as well.
My husband’s ex-wife hid his 4 year old son from him on Christmas, and told the son that his dad didn’t love him anymore because he has a new family.
Ex-wives can be vindictive, and hurting their own children to hurt their ex is perfectly justified to them.
Maybe it’s time for a new custody agreement between your boyfriend and his ex-wife.
Why is everyone being so salty, like I understand his pov but seriously she wants to enjoy herself before having more kids too so I see her point too, everyone that’s bashing her needs to see both sides and realize its not her fault or his.
If she can take her on vacation so can the dad
How does the Ex even have the right to say no? If they have shared custody isn’t he legally aloud to take her where he wants if it falls on his days? I get he doesn’t wanna leave his kid out but that doesn’t mean u guys can’t go. U guys need to sit and talk about it more. Validate how he feels and then express your feelings. You guys are his family too and he needs to treat everyone that way…
Hes wrong. The world doesn’t stop because his baby moms is petty. Does he have a court order? Id still go even without him.
I have a stepson we have full custody of but if hes with his mom n can’t come then we’ll do something when he gets back. He does all kinds of cool stuff with his mom. Now I/we don’t purposely leave him out of big things but the little kids aren’t going to be sitting at home bored when I know hes having fun with his mom and being spoiled. We got together when he was 4 months and hes 7 now and understands that his siblings get to do stuff too. at first he was sad when he was younger but id be like did you save snacks for the lil kids, did you take the lil kids to Disney on ice, etc n hed say no n id be like then how’s fair if you want us to wait to even eat a snack lol n he got it. I told him anything big n special he’d always be at n that made him happy.
If he don’t wanna then you go. I know what you’re thinking but go anyway.
She gets to control your life. Hell no and you’re having kids with this man? Girl I feel for you cause this is gonna be a bad time.
I can see both sides. If for some reason my husband and I split and I had someone new that I was planning a vacation with, I’d feel horribly torn if my babies couldn’t come. That’s a tough one!
I understand that she might be upset if her dad goes on vacations with his “new family” and not with her BUT it’s her mother’s fault. In no instance should you put your own feelings or issues above your child’s. She’s only hurting her daughter by doing so. That being said, I think your boyfriend is being stubborn. I totally get that he’s upset about his daughter not being able to go, but he should not let it affect the time he spends with you and your kids. Now all of the kids are being affected in a negative way. Try talking to him about it and giving him that perspective, maybe he will decide to go.
He needs to take her to court. And get a legit custody agreement that works for both families.
It’s illegal to keep him from taking their daughter on vacation, as long as he tells her by 1 April every year. She can’t tell him no.
Y’all funny bc there are not enough details here you just assume the mom is “petty”…
I understand this so much as I was this child left out from my father now he shows me videos thinking I’m in them hundreds of outings and I’m not even in one and I’m like no I’m telling you I wasn’t there only his wife and step kids 
But the worst part is I am his only child
Just go with your babies Mama xx It’s understandable why he doesn’t want to go but it doesn’t mean you and the kids don’t have to go? 
I understand on your end too but don’t feel that way Mama because I think just the thought of his daughter missing out hits differently for him so he may feel like it’s not fair if he still goes through with the vacation without her xx
Go without him…Simple as that!! Not your fault his daughter can’t go, also not his fault daughter can’t go…BUT his behaviour now is wrong! I would go without him!!! I go away just me and my 3 all the time…I love it:blue_heart:
She’s family she should be included. It doesn’t matter what her mother provides it’s her mother’s treat not his father’s.
I understand why he doesn’t want to. He might upset his daughter and doesn’t want to leave her out 
I’d go and not take the kid, even if mom did allow her to go. You do realize real soon you won’t be able to go on a vacation like this without any kids for a long time, right?
Seems like you married him AND the ex!
And this guy actually refuses to go on vacation with his family because the ex is calling the shots?
It’s pretty clear where you stand on the priority list…
He’s a selfish pansy ass that needs to grow a backbone.
Good luck in your relationship because the ex is gonna be the final decision in everything you and your children deal with
I can understand his feelings because I feel very guilty when I go on Vacation without my kids but my step children get to go ESPECIALLY in the beginning.
He needs to go to court and get something in court order so she can’t keep the child from him in the future. I’d be more angry if he’s not being proactive to stay in his daughters life
Which relationship does he want to be in?
It really isn’t a “family” vacation without her being there. I understand his view 100% and I think you should just go on the vacation with your kids!! Make it like a last trip with just you guys before the new babies come and they have to share you!
You and him alone. For a weekend. Since you are having twins. You need alone time. Kids can do something later. Or your kids can go with bio father.
If vacation is on his visitation/custody then the mom has nothing to say about it…if he does not have court ordered custody/visitation he needs to get it…the mom is being mean not to let the child enjoy vacation time with his new family…
Hm. okay so we are a blended family i have 2 kids that aren’t biologically my mans but he treats them like they are and the boys call him dad and we have a girl together and one boy on the way on July also, on his own he has 2 kids too a boy and a girl, unfortunately the girl dont want to come with us and the boy’s mom (which yeah 2 kids from different moms) is starting to let the boy spend weekend with us. Last time when we went to a mini vacay he asked if we could take the boy but mom said no with good reason (covid) the little girl didn’t want too and I believe neither the mom, but guess what we all still went. Im sure he wished we all went together but he wasn’t going to stop our boys and daughter to experience the beach just cuz the his kids couldn’t/wouldn’t come. We had a great time and plan to do it again and hopefully all together. They all go to vacay just fine with their moms why couldn’t we? Idk thats my 2 cents lol if its the moms fault why would he feel guilty… but best advice go to court and get all that legal.
I understand where he is coming from …and understand your side as well. This is unfair to both sides. He should take this up in court, honestly…because this is not fair all around. Father’s have rights as well. What will happen when the twins are born and you want to go on vacation with the twins? That situation needs to be resolved.
For so many years I had this same issue with my partners ex andt we organized trips and asked to take the mother numerous occasions to take the kids and was told No …then one year we organized it for when the kids were spending half school holidays with us and she couldn’t do a damn thing because of orders …the only thing was she was not told that we were going away or the kids wouldn’t show up for visits . The kids did ring her whilst on holidays .I know it’s deceitful but it taught her a lesson that she won’t control every aspect of our lives …
Go without him if its so important to you. TBH I do think that its its a bit unfair of you to get mad at him for wanting to bring HIS DAUGHTER (BUT is unable to) .you CLAIM that this is supposed to be a FAMILY VACATION, welll…isn’t HIS DAUGHTER part of your family?? Im sorry but the way this is worded makes it sound like you couldn’t care less about your husband’s daughter. (YOUR STEPDAUGHTER). AND, that the only kids that ACTUALLY MATTER are the ones that come from you/your relationship with your husband. Atleast , that’s the way it comes across to me. JMO. ANYWAY, if your precious VACATION means that much to you…go alone.
Maybe he just doesn’t want to go. Ask him if he can go somewhere closer. Or tell him you want to go but don’t feel comfortable being super pregnant without him
Honestly I understand both views. So maybe try understanding his point of view & go with a friend instead. As far as the ex goes, looks like she has more control then what’s needed & unfortunately, could be very toxic to your relationship.
It doesn’t make any sense at all. So whether you guys go or not the daughter misses nothing because of the mom.
Ouch, unfortunately the ex still has some claws dug in somewhere.
His daughter is family. Without her, there is no family vacation. How does this not make sense?
Go back to custody court to get a legal solution.
Can see both sides of the coin. I myself have a blended family, 1 bio child and 2 stepchildren and although we do do activities sometimes with one of our children missing (they are off visiting), don’t think we would ever go on an actual family vacation without one of our children because it would seem like a piece of our pie was missing. However, we do have full custody of all our children so this is an issue we’ve never had to face. All I know is if the situation was reversed, I probably would not go on holiday with my partner and our other 2 children if my bio son couldn’t come, even if it was because of his father because it just wouldn’t feel right. Tricky situation all round! Best of luck
Girl if you don’t go to the beach and treat yourself he can stay home !
Guess I’m different. I don’t see his side at all and consider him dead wrong. I could understand if YOU didn’t want his kids going but their mother is the hold out. He is letting her control your life too. When you have twins together is he still not going? Or will it be different because those are ‘his’ kids? Be careful, he is already treating your kids different.
I get where you’re coming from. His daughter’s mom not wanting her to fo should not dictate the rest of the family going and having fun. That’s not fair. I know he would like his daughter to go but he shouldn’t want the rest of your guys to not have fun. It sounds like he is calling the shots, screw how you feel about it. We are a blended family too. My husband has a daughter from a previous relationship and o have a son from a previous relationship and we have 2 kids together. There has been numerous times our other kids couldn’t go and although its bummer, we didn’t NOT go because of that. That wouldn’t be fair or right. He should go to to court or go on vacay with you and the kids. What is he going to do when the twins get here? Not go because his daughter isn’t able to? That’s silly to me.
Just go with or without, why should you miss out on life cause of one kid. It mite just piss your partner off but he chose the first kid that probly doesnt even live with him over current family.
I think the woman and her own kids should go on vacation themselves. Problem solved
He doesn’t consider you as family take it as it is
Couple things… 1 she may have asked him not to go without her, since she can’t. It happens, and him being a good dad:woman_shrugging:t4:. would that be his normal time with her, & if he goes with you will he miss that time to be with her… then you see his, dilemma. Or 2 he doesn’t want to go with you, and this is the perfect excuse. In any case he’s an adult if he doesn’t want to go & you want to… Though if the issue is he really doesn’t want to go with you & your children, y’all may have more issues than a vacation 
.
If he has joint custody, he should be entitled to a week vacation with his daughter. I don’t know any state that doesn’t grant that. On his time, he can do what he wishes with his daughter. I’d look at the custody agreement…
Remind him that your other kids deserve to be kids and do fun things even when she isn’t home and see about a compromise maybe she can’t go with to the beach but you could plan something else special that she can do as well. Maybe get a sitter for your other kids sometime when you have her before the twins come so you and he can have a special day with her too. If she sees you less this may be the last one on one time you get for a while good luck mama
How about going on away on vacation with him and then doing something closer to home that includes daughter.
I’m confused here. If his daughter is on his time, why does it matter to the mother of the child if he decides to do activities with his family he now has? Now I completely understand traveling is serious, but she’s with his father and family, yes she may not trust them, feel comfortable, things could happen, etc. If he truly wanted his daughter to go, he would make sure his rights are noticed as a father. There seems to be more issues than a vacation here. Could it be possible him and his baby momma still are seeing each other and that’s why he doesn’t want to go on vacation because of maybe having her over? You need to always ask questions. Always. Because then you’re going to sit in regret of why you guys didn’t go or why did you hold back or why you went and he didnt. It will always be a why to the past and present. If you’re asking for advice from others, you need to start asking him questions. Because if he can’t give you a answer than maybe you should rethink things especially if you’re having kids, because what will happen down the future when something similar happens and it’s too late to realize it.
Well it’s sweet he doesn’t want to go on vacation without his kid. I get that, I’d feel bad myself going on vacation without my daughter. You’re just going to have to go on your own and not be so frustrated that he’s putting his kid first. My kid always comes first.
To everyone who thinks he’s in the wrong… Tell me, are you leaving ONE of your children out of your next family vacation?
I don’t think he’s right or wrong. 
It’s just how he feels and he’s caught in the middle, I guess?
I understand why you’re frustrated though. I almost feel like there’s more to his story though. 
I’m sorry but I would never leave my kid and go off with my new family. I couldn’t. Also I wouldn’t let my kid go off with daddy’s girlfriend on vacation. Maybe after you have the twins and they’re isn’t still a pandemic going on, mom will let her go on the next trip.
You probably just need to go you and your kids and I bet your kids will really really enjoy that experience.
Oh man… I feel like there’s a whole lot more to this situation. Some men are annoyed by other people’s kids and don’t want to be around them especially if their own child(ren) aren’t there. I hope that’s not the case for you guys! I have twins too! We weren’t married when we had our twins. It was a longgggggg road, to get where we are. I feel for you. Go on vacation with your children. Be pissed if you want. You are soon to add two more kids to this situation. He is with you, he’s not with his ex. He can’t expect the kid living with the mother to be able to go everywhere he goes. It’s sucks but that’s what happens in “divorced” families. She was invited, she can be mad at mom!
Take off and do you own thing. Sucks he won’t be apart of it but sounds like he doesn’t care anyways…and also I would dump his ass.
That’s sad that the mom won’t let her go. I understand both the bio mom and the dad’s possible perspectives. I can also see how it would be hurtful to you, especially if you are carrying his twins. Ultimately, I think you have to take a step back and think of the children involved first and consider their feelings. I’m not saying never go on family vacations if the mom doesn’t come around, but give it some time. Blended family life is a lot of give and take and you have to be willing to put the kids first, regardless of if they are your bio kids or not. If you can’t, blended family life isn’t for you.
Thats insane…go without him. The ex’s mission was accomplished. You and your kids deserve to go…
Can we get the story as to why his ex wont let his daughter go with? Is there any custody agreements? Everyone is judging without the actual story. Is ex just being a jerk? How long have you and him been together? I’m asking that because at some point considering your pregnant, you had to know what you were getting into and at what point do you stop labeling the child as “his daughter”. If your together, if you have been together for awhile, whether hes bf or husband, your a team… my now husband has treated my kids as his own since we got together 6 years ago. He never once labeled them to anyone as “her kids”. It was always our kids and he took on 2 of them from my previous relationship… you need to consider how he feels too. You cant make him choose between you and her. That’s his little girl. After the twins are born, that’s when you should start complaining if hes still refusing vacations. And I think everyone is missing that she doesnt mention about other kids. She is pregnant with twins. The family vacation would be her and him right now as she wants to go BEFORE the twins are born
Are the twins his? Bc like I totally understand not wanting to leave his daughter it used to bother me all the time but now I’m to the point if one of my kids doesn’t want to go I don’t force them to. But like if he’s saying no to his family Bc his ex is being u fair that’s also wrong.
Key word here is “family” and part of your family is his daughter. He is right in not wanting to go without her.
Also to every one saying “just go with out him” she’s super pregnant with TWINS she may need another adults help
I suspect there is more to this e.g. WHY does the ex not want her child going on holiday with her other parent? Is there a valid reason. Mum still takes daughter away, so dad obviously allows that, so why not the other way round?
Definitely more information needed
Remember how he feels and try not to get upset with him. Empathize. However he should go with his family. I wonder why his daughters mom won’t let her go? Is it the date doesn’t work etc? Do you get along with his daughters mom? If so maybe invite her as well if she would feel more comfortable. I’d like to know the reason why the mother won’t let the daughter go and I can give better advice
She said “my kids” and not “our kids” so im assuming theyre not his. His feelings are valid and it makes sense why he won’t go. Also, this won’t be a forever thing so chill out. If the kids that are already born are his kids too, they deserve to have their father on a family vacation too so that would be unfair to them. But Im assumimg she didn’t say that for a reason, so take your kids on a vacation and have fun. Maybe your kids would love a vacation with just mom. And if its too much because of the pregnancy, ask a family or friend to come instead.
If my son is not welcome somewhere, neither am I. If my son is not good enough, neither am I.
Kudos for him being a real man and putting his child first.
It’s her mom being the bad guy here…I dont understand his logic…but try and have fun. If you were the one excluding her itd b different but your not??? Shes welcome but not allowed? Kind of silly. If I were him I’d be pissed, most ppl ik would just take her anyway 
what’s she going to do call the cops. Hes going to have to make some decisions in the future though because I’m sure this will happen again but his twins will be involved , cant let all the kids miss out cuz one of their parents wants to be petty
Go without him. Don’t let you’re children not have life experiences because him and the other mother can’t or won’t get along.
Don’t stress urself. Not good for the babies and ur health. Tell him to man up. Its either his x just jealous of u and not allowing his baby girl to go. An excuse on him not going too. Reason him. I know thats his girl too but his moved on and got 2 with u. That shouldn’t stop him from going thou
When he has visitation y’all can go somewhere with her too. If he’s being this difficult now it will only get worse. Take a vacation, live your life and enjoy it
it sounds like they don’t have a legal custody agreement. That is the first thing that needs to happen.
I’m confused. What does their decree say? Does he need permission to take her on vacation? Why can’t he just email her mom and say we’re going to ___ and he will contact her if there is an emergency.