I wouldn’t go by yourself pregnant for safety reasons of the kids and yourself…but I wouldn’t let that dictate your other kids vacation. Maybe have a friend tag along so there’s more eyes to supervise the kids, and you can still enjoy adult company and conversation.
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Go without him and have a good time. If he wants to be a Debbie downer you’ll have more fun without him anyways
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Y’all should all grow up!
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You said FAMILY vac… Well if his kids cant go as well then not a family vacation
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I wouldn’t go without my son. However, go on the trip during his time. She cannot dictate what he does with his daughter on his time. You just can’t take her on a cruise without her written permission (which is stupid) but if you’re just going to the beach, go when he has her.
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Go to court and petition so she can go…
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He can take her if he asks the court for permission.
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Thats crazy go without him
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It’s very hard I totally understand my husband has two other children besides our two 4 years the mom would not allow his daughter to come with us anywhere, at first I did cancel a lot of things do to the fact that she was not allowed to come but, then I realized that that is hindering my kids from having fun, you cannot stop your family from having fun cuz somebody else seems to be a pain
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All the go without him, I get it. But she’s due in July with twins. For her safety and the other kids I wouldn’t go without another adult. I’m not sure if I’d even risk going if it were not within a hour from home. We’re entering may and we don’t know when she’s planned for or for how long. Or if she’s at a higher risk of delivering early with twins. School will be in until the end of May so that could be a reason the ex don’t want her to go. Or she don’t want the child going because she’s so close to her due date when she goes and don’t want to chance her going into labor and having the child have to stay longer that cuts into something she has planned. We don’t have enough info to base our opinions on. She could just be being petty and trying to control what the father does. My advice would be to ask why she don’t want the child to go if it’s a fair reason for concerns than that needs to be respected. If she’s just being petty then go to the courts. But definitely consider taking another adult if you go without him. It will be hot and anything could happen.
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Take his best friend…jkjk
Just go without him…
Turn your phone off…
And enjoy the time with your kids before the twins arrive.
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If you two were married, she might feel differently.
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Leave his ass.
Just for the vacation, of course.
*It’s got to be hard, feeling torn like that.
Maybe you could find a way to include the daughter without taking her?
Schedule a daily video call, for the whole family to call and talk to her.
Send her little trinkets to open to share the experience - if you plan it right, with as easy as scheduling deliveries is now, she could open the gift during the call.
There’s got to be some compromise for you!
I hope you get your vacation!!
Leave all the kids home and go alone.
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Unless he’s not allowed to take her on vacation per a court order, what Mom “wants/allows” doesn’t matter.
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Go and leave his daughter with her mother.
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Go without him. But you can’t blame him for not wanting to go on a FAMILY vacation with part of his FAMILY missing
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I think its definitely unfair. You’re not given a choice about his other daughter going so your kids will either miss out on a vacation with dad or on a vacation at all…I’d be mad at my husband too his other kids still deserve a vacation with their dad AND mom
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Girl enjoy yourself. Leave him behind. I vacation and nope I don’t take my step kid. I have my own kids to enjoy. Got no time to be putting up with her crazy ass mom. It’s either the husband goes or he can stay, but he always ends up going.
That sucks girl… That is pretty shitty. He has a family now and splits custody he should still do things with you and your children and you guys can plan another vacation with his daughter can come. We split custody in our house as well so my fiance and I take many trips with my children to places like Ocean Shores Winthrop to go tubing in Leavenworth. And then when his kids came with us we went to Great Wolf Lodge up to the mountains to go snowboarding and to a beach that was still pretty close … We rented an air B&B
It is pretty messed up that he won’t go because his daughter isn’t going to get to attend alot do to share custody again we have the same issue. And you are right when the twins come you are going to have your hands full so it’s not going to be such a joy to be at a beach. I’m really sad for you but he won’t go and I understand that it’s not the same going without him. Maybe one of your girlfriend’s can go along with you I would definitely tell you to get to the beach before those babies are born you deserve it Mama.
Just take your kids and go!! He is losing out, go make memories 
We went to a Mariners game versus the Dodgers last week and he was pretty bummed that it wasn’t his weekend with his kids and they couldn’t come…
. It didn’t stop him from going…
we just plan to take them to a baseball game when he does have them.
He should definitely be thinking about you and ways to make you and your kids happy as well as ways to enjoy the family when his daughter is present.
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For the sake of fighting take your kids and go on vacation with or with out him and have a wonderful time
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First off his ex sounds like a blast. Second he just needs to file a motion with the court to take her on vacation. Unless there’s a missing pieces to the story. Third I agree with you. At first my eyes roll because I’m thinking this is his kid of course he wants her involved. But then I started thinking OK if she can’t go then he can still. Not like he excluded her. The mom did
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Go with the kids leave him and his daughter home…
You and your kids are his family also. So he’s going to neglect you and your kids because his ex is being controlling? Nope. That’s a no go for me. He needs to man up and stop being controlled by his ex or I’d leave and find a real man. Period!!
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He owes it to you and your children to go with you if he doesn’t go there with out him sounds like he has some hang up about his past
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I would take my children without him and go to the beach
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Is it in writing that she can’t go or is mom being petty. My thing is children should not be used as pawns. My girls dad us remarried and im in a relationship we have no court order but sometimes he takes the kids on vacation and I take them every summer on vacation we just all get along and let kids decide where they want to go.
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It’s a Family vacation. She is part of the family too . You can’t go without the entire family. I wouldn’t go either. I would just turn it into a park day and have a picnic.
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It’s unfair and it sucks. We’d love for my bonus son to go to everything we get to take his sibling too (and make every effort to plan around his schedule), but sometimes it just doesn’t work out. We don’t forgo life because he can’t be there all the time.
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If it’s during his parenting time and he doesn’t have the ok to take her due to the courts then he she should stay home and be with her. Why would you want a partner so willing to blow off his parenting time? This man is taking it seriously at least respect that. And your feelings of anger they shouldn’t be aimed at anyone he’s doing right by his child that is his responsibility, your kids are your responsibility, The babies you carry he doesn’t get a say in either right now. Encourage him to get his custody stuff changed so in the future it’s possible. Go on a diff time so he can go and not miss parenting time, take another family adult or friend or just change the vacation. And I’m going to go ahead and suggest therapy to learn to blend the family together and how to deal with issues like this in the future with the other parents.
Been here did this for 13 years with my hubs ex bitter bitch who is now in jail for the umpteenth time but anyway have your boyfriend go get a layer have lawyer draw up permission for out of state vacation submitted with an itinerary of places and etc of times you will be in certain places and have them file for emergency hearing in court it can be done in a timely matter probably virtual both sides will be able to speak on why she should and shouldn’t go that is your best way and whike he is at it he needs to get a set parenting time guideline every state has one also if she has joint custody all you have to do is give a written notice 30 days prior if you have joint custody with her being the primary custodial if you don’t have anything through the courts I would definitely get it done immediately it has only just began hunny being a stepparent is hard especially when you have to deal with a crazy ass bitter woman who uses her child as a pawn to get what she wants its a hard road only for the strong mentally just saying
She won’t be able to go everywhere he goes and that’s something he will have to get used to and he can expect the other kids to put their lives in hold because of it. He should go with you on this one and then try again later to be able to have his other daughter included but if the ex always says no then he may have to get a judge involved.
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Go without him. He is being selfish. It’s not like you wouldnt take his daughter. Her mom isn’t allowing it
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Go without he can’t leave his daughter out think if it was your kids.
He should be going with you. There are going to be lots of times when his daughter can’t be included. That doesn’t mean your life and your kids life should stop.
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Your husband needs to take his ex to court and lawyer up. When you do it that way the judge gives the dad a few weeks of vacation per year ( and the mom has no say on it… He just needs to inform her when he will be taking her and where) and also the judge divides holy days and weekends between both parents. That makes things easier trust me…
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Seems strange he wont go because the child cant. Now if YOU were saying he couldn’t go or something stopped her from going while she is with you guys, then I understand, but I’d imagine she would be with her mother while you guys go.
What is his reasoning, simply just that if she doesn’t he wont? Seems like there should be more to it than just that, because why wouldn’t he want to spend time with you and the other kids? He can still plan something before or after when he has her, so you all can have a different form of family time.
Try to tell him you guys can plan an alternate trip/day with the daughter before or after the vacation. He may come around.
Also, how can the mom control where he takes the daughter while it’s his time with her?
To bad people feel the need to use their kids as pawns
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I’m sorry but I would be off on the holiday without him , why should your kids miss out , so tell him u understand his reasons for not wanting to go but your still taking your kids and going to enjoy your holiday even see if you can get a family member or friend to join you for some company
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Sounds like he’s going to miss out on a lot by choice ! His daughter doesn’t have that choice cause her bio mom doesn’t let her…but I’m sure she would go with u all if it was her choice. Just go without …
Not fair u n yr kids have to suffer cause of it…
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Go by yourself! He is doing a power move using his daughter from his first marriage. Why aren’t you married? Is he really committed to you and the twins?
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His daughter is part of the family. Period.
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Why don’t you just be thankful that your kids can go, and take them? There’s no reason to be mad at him. He doesn’t want to take a family vacation without his daughter. That’s completely understandable. You can go without him or you can reschedule for a time he’ll have his daughter.
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If there is shared custody agreement in the courts and he has her on his time it doesn’t matter what she says. That’s a manipulation tool. If she can why can’t he.
Ya’ll, she’s pregnant with twins. She’s due in July. She could go into labor at any time, stop telling her to go by herself 
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For what its worth, going to the beach with kids at all is the most un-vacation vacation ever. Especially when pregnant.
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sounds like they need to re-address their custody agreement
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Dad needs to make it clear that she was invited and that her mom is not comfortable with her going and apologize because there is nothing he can do. Then he should suck it up and go on vacation with the family that can go. He can’t just cut out on his new family just because his ex doesn’t allow his daughter to attend. He needs to just make the best of it yes I understand he is mad, sad and, hurt that his daughter can’t go but that is his ex’s doing not yours and He shouldn’t punish you for it by not going. He has 2 babies on the way he needs to grow up a deal with it. That is life
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GO!!! Make it your own vacation!!! DO IT! You won’t ever get this moment back!
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There is definitely info missing here. Honestly, dad should just take mom to court & this wouldn’t even be an issue. If he established custody legally, he can set up something about vacation time. And mom can’t say no 
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Just go without him. Take your kids and have fun! Let him miss out, show him pictures when you get back. It’s not your fault or your kids fault that the daughters mom won’t let her go. It sounds like he’s using that as an excuse not to go so go have fun without him otherwise you will be missing out on fun with your own kids and it probably won’t just be this one vacation that you miss out on because of this same situation in the future.
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There are laws that prevent the mother from stopping him. Unless. He’s just a crappy dad. Every parent can take the child on vacation and out of state but they must give a 30 days notice to the other parent and in 15 days prior to they must provide a written itinerary. May I ask what state you live in, have you seen his parenting plan, and would he be up for a modification if his parenting plan does not state these terms?? This is not guessing this is facts, I work in legal and you can search these topics.
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Go when she is with her mom
I think your feelings are valid. His daughter’s mommy is trying to control him and he’s falling for it. You didn’t say, you didn’t want the daughter to go. Well prepare for more dumb reasons he can’t do things bc his daughter’s mom is controlling.
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We had the same problem still do 9 years later mom doesn’t let my step son go anywhere only she can take him on vacation. But dad and I and our other two kids still go on vacation because I’m not punishing my kids which are my husband’s as well. He needs to suck it up and go or go back to court
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I don’t understand what’s the big deal about the beach? I would just go. I honestly don’t understand women who stop doing things because their significant other decides they don’t want to go. Where is your independence? I took all of my 5 kids to Disney without their Dad regularly. The beach is a routine sat for us in summer. No man would ever have that much control over my decision to make memories with my kids.
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He should definitely go! That really sucks his daughter can’t go but everyone else shouldn’t suffer because of it.
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Oh tell the soft cock to grow up ffs. Your his family too. Either he mans up for everyone when it counts or he is not husband or father material. He would be given the ultimatum to go on the holiday or pack his bags if that was me.
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When ur twins r born then he we’ll go but he’s sounds like a good man that he’s trying to keep the peace but I understand u point of view to just wait until twins r born he we’ll come around
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If they have a custody order, he needs to read it over and see what are the limitations. If he has her on his weekend, he can do whatever as long it’s safe and communicated with the mother. If he doesn’t have an order, he needs to go to family court for his right as a father and protection.
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Sounds like the mom is jealous and being petty… what mom wouldn’t want their child to go have fun
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What does his child custody paperwork say? A lot of the standard state versions say that each parent is allowed to.
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Bahahaha please
Go without him and shame on him for allowing his ex to control him still. He’s yours now right?
Blended families are hard. There is going to be things his daughter will not be able to attend,that shouldn’t stop him from going places fun because she can’t go. So when those twins are born and you want to go on a family vacation with them if his daughter can’t go (not your fault) he won’t go?? Kinda childish on his part.
Does he not have legalized visitation rights and the ability to do what he likes with his daughter? It seems this is a form of manipulation by the Ex which he has not managed to overcome. Is this to be expected throughout your relationship? Control over his child causing the 2 of you to have friction and possibly resentment toward his daughter? This needs to be addressed among the three adults … you him the ex. Get it in WRITING so there’s no further turmoil.
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I see his point. Is it really a family vacation if the whole family isn’t there? I’ve been in the daughter’s position before. Maybe you should make sure she feels like she’s like a part of the family because it sure sounds like you don’t consider her to be. If you want to go so bad, load up your kids and go without him. I suggest he get a family lawyer or something and get some custody arrangement set in stone.