Not to be rude, but he wouldn’t go on vacations before you got pregnant…so why are you surprised?
If he won’t go to court to get custody then what does he expected? He’s only hurting himself by not exercising his rights.
Unfair or not, he let you know before pregnancy, or you guys continuing to build your life together that he wasn’t going to give you certain things. So you got choices & decisions to make. Go on vacations with your children by yourself or family. Encourage him to go to court, or leave.
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everything depends on what their custody agreement says. if that’s their agreement and her bio-mom is just saying no to be catty… then it sucks but that’s the way it goes (and dad should probably go to court to change it if he wants more time).
as for him not wanting to go without the daughter, i can understand that. but if it’s his week/time to have her, what’s the problem? and if it’s not his week/time to have her… switch the vacation to her time, or will dad just be home hanging out alone on principle?
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Those kids of yours are going to be his or imho my as well currently be his step children so he, as a father should go with you to help out with the other kids. He doesn’t just have one child anymore. He has multiple.
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Why won’t the mother let her child go away with him? Does she get any long term visitation with him? Does he exercise that option? Is it that he can’t take her out of state?
If he wants this, he needs to go back to court and adjust visitation. If your getting married, there will have to be extended family time.
Or does he not want the extended time? Does he not want to go away with you because he wants alone time? He has one kid, you’re saying you have kids, as in plural, AND you’ve got twins coming? Yeah, I’d want my own time too.
Forgive me for lumping all men together, but most dont want the responsibility of looking after their own kids. I’ve said it and I’ll stand by it. So now you want a get away before the twins arrive. So does he! And who knows, maybe it’s a vacation from you too. 
How about planning a trip for just the two of you? Have your kids stay with someone. His kid has to stay home anyway. Just the two of you, a real “baby moon” to connect and relax before you add more kids to your relationship.
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That’s not fair. My husband and I went through this as well
I explained how his child does vacations with his mom and step parent so it’s not fair that we don’t as well. Aside from that, go
Don’t make yourself and future children miss out over him and his stupidity.
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I think he just feels guilty doing such a big thing without her. But assuming your twins are his, he’s going to have to get past that or he wont ever vacation with them either.v
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He needs to look at the child paper work for who and what can happen. If it says he can take her then mom has no right to say no.
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Take it to court. My friend has it in the custody agreement must give 30 days notice, emergency numbers, etc to take them out of state (and it works both ways!) and then just has to let each other know when going out of county. Honestly though if it’s his time with his kids and you guys go to a local beach she doesn’t get to say yes or no. It’s his time with him and she can’t decide how he spends it or what he does.
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If we didn’t go every time my stepdaughters mom wouldn’t allow her to go we would never have a vacation! I dont think we’ve ever taken her on a real vacation because her mother always interfered and ruined it for her. But that’s no reason for the other kids to miss out. We take vacation every year if we can. Ultimately, the kid will one day realize for herself who was the one who forced her to miss out! If you don’t already have a court order, get one. We had to end up addressing it in court and even the judge says as long as its his court ordered parenting time and he notifies mom in advance, she can’t legally withhold the child from going.
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Go without him or try communicating with the girls mom?she might if you ask. That is if you want her to go.
How old is the child? If not a baby, she should be able to spend a vacation with him? I hope he steps up & goes with you, if not that should tell you how he feels about you? He may not be that committed to you if he doesn’t want to go. You pregnant with twins, should make y’all a family. Sounds like he wasn’t ready for a family with you, Sadly men like that are a dime a dozen & want wife privileges without any commitment!!!
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Go without him, That’s not fair to you’re children & missing out on life experiences just because you’re boyfriend doesn’t want to go, His loss for missing out on important family time
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It’s not about her not getting to go somewhere its about making sure his daughter feels like she is still very important in daddy’s life and that the new family doesn’t exclude her. I understand wanting to go on a family vacation before babies arrive but that’s just it. It wouldn’t be a family vacation if she cant go. Maybe find something you guys can all do together that the mom will agree to. Otherwise hes going to feel like you don’t care about his daughter
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I do this too. If my son can’t comebi don’t want to go or celebrate. I know it takes away from my youngest son but he has both his parents together everyday he has no idea how it feels to be left out my oldest does. I schedule around it most of the time. I’ve gone on a vacation 3 times without him over the last 8 years and the guilt is horrible. My husband understands so we do things together with my youngest when my oldest is gone but we save vacation time for when we can all be together. Compromise. I haven’t told him when we went out of town camping lastime he was gone just keeping it to ourselves unless he asks.
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It is not a true family vacation if his/YOUR daughter cant go to…how about helping him get the legal right for you daughter to come on a vacation with her dad and stepmom!!! Put up or shut up!!!
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I think it’s tough for growth in a family when this happens , there are gonna be times where she can go and times she cant ( the daughter)
Bit sounds like he feels guilty for going without her maybe compromise and d9 a trip with you an him before the twins arrive and then some time after with all of u including his daughter and talk to his daughters mother before hand and see if that’s possable
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Ask him again if he still says no. Find a good friend for company , and go anyway. Let him know this will happen. You ARE entitled to a break before you have a big change in your life.
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This will be a struggle the rest of your life; get used to it and go without him.
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Go and take your kids. Can’t blame the guy for not wanting to go and have fun and leave his little princess at home sometimes you have to remember that since he’s not your husband his daughter came first and that’s his number one so take yourself and your children and leave him at home
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If his EX is the one saying their daughter can’t go with, I guess I don’t see why he wouldn’t still follow through with the vacation. Doesn’t make sense. Blame the EX and take this new gal and family on vacation . IMO lol.
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I would suggest you go on tour vacation with your kids. And I’d also suggest he take this lady to court and get these things such as vacations and dates in a court order because I personally wouldn’t want to continue down this path for much longer.
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If he refuses to go just cause she can’t then he’s never going to do anything for his twins with you.
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We have four kids total, and one on the way. And we do not do extravagant things without everyone present so that all children feel important and part of the family. Not knowing the court order, I would say he probably doesn’t share custody; I do with my sons dad, and he gets to plan whatever and only has to inform me. However, I have sole custody of my daughter and her father isn’t allowed to take her across state lines. If you’re adamant about a vacation with the kids, ask him to carefully review his court order.
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I have a blended and unfortunately not everyone is on the same page with xs and its sad for the child but if I couldn’t take my daughter I probably wouldn’t go cause as parents you feel so guilty and bad sometimes … but I would also be trying to get papers in court stating I could go on vacations because its not fair for you or him or that child …I literally feel guilty and bad if I go get ice cream while my daughter is with her dad… and I know I shouldn’t but its how we are parents …maybe do something closer that the whole fam can do and maybe you and friends go till it gets figured out …
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Your boyfriend needs to look at the paper work if they have a agreement and see if he gets a vacation time. If not then he needs to get that changed. They usually have it where both parents get a week of uninterrupted time to do vacations and things. Have him look into it. He should be able to take his child too.
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Enjoy your vacation with your own children .
You need your own privacy …understand that the other child will also feel out of place if she tags along . .
And you are not yet a family ! Respect your bfs decision . 
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Maybe don’t have a baby with a bf. His priority is with his child for now.
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Tell him you will see him when you get back! Go enjoy your time with the kids before the twins arrive, and you aren’t able to spend as much quality time with them.
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I’d go without him. This is probably the last time for a long time you’ll get any time remotely to yourself.
I’d say if he can’t take her then the mother shouldn’t be able to thats a two way street there take her either or he should go to court get a order where he can have her a few weeks during summer for a vacation or two stay home most father’s can get their kids for a week every month or a few weeks in summer for a vacation and you have to give other parent details where your at what hotel and things and allow other parent to call at certain times to talk to the child or children
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Shoot. I’d go alone if he refuses and won’t look into the reason he “can’t” take her!
You def enjoy to spend some time on the beach before you have TWO more tiny humans to be responsible for.
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Does mom have full and sole custody of her? Do they share custody? How old is she? Does she want to go?
Take her to court and get a court order,. She belongs to them both… judge won’t like her attitude,.,
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Do not Blame him, that’s daughter. Go without him, not that hard. You are way to nit picky. Quit stressing gees.
Why dont y’all plan a trip on his summer visitation
His ex can’t dictate that he can’t take her on vacation as long as it’s within his designated time with her. 
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Uh yeah that’s bs. Why can’t his kid go though? If he has visitation/or shared custody, then he most certainly can take her to wherever he wants in the United States on his time, unless there is some clause in the paperwork that states otherwise. Biomom doesn’t get a say. And if it is out of the country, he can ask a judge for the permission, so he still doesn’t really need her permission either way.
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Take you and your kids and maybe a family member or friend. Your kids shouldn’t have to miss out because he doesn’t want to go.
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Sounds like the other parent needs to stop trying to control yours and your boyfriends relationship and let her daughter go. She bitter and it shows.
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You mention going on a family vacation but then separate “his” daughter. That daughter IS his family and yours too. Well it may be frustrating its understandable that he doesn’t want his daughter to feel excluded from a “family” trip or vacation. These are things you need to consider when you have a blended family.
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Go by yourself or with a friend or family and enjoy
It sucks that he lets his ex control your relationship. It’s not going to stop. Buckle up. She’s going to have a lot of control when it comes to your relationship & raising your littles.
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She can’t legally stop him it’s his time.
Dont blame him. I wouldn’t go on vacation without my daughter either.
So go without him, show ur having fun n he will regret it.
Sounds to me like he let’s his ex control him.
Sounds like there’s information we don’t know.
How far is the beach?
Is it overnight and dad isn’t allowed overnight visits?
How long have Mom & Dad been separated? Is this a case of starting new family while still being with old family? (A big jump I know, but I’ve seen that happen)
Maybe daughter doesn’t WANT to go but didn’t know how to tell Dad so Mom said “I’ll cover it. Don’t worry” (and if bonus Mom thinks it’s a family trip without bonus daughter I can see why)
To many unknowns.
Also, the folks saying “he needs to step up you’re his family”-- ya, and she’s his daughter. I think it’s great that he’s saying not without her. Think of the rift it causes hearing of family events and not being included.
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Don’t let a man ruin your childrens happiness
I wouldnt want to go without my kid either.
I feel like him not wanting to leave his kid behind is a valid reason, it’s not a family vacation without her to. I have a few questions though because he has a family before meeting you. Have you known his ex long enough to bring his daughter with you guys ? Maybe she has concerns because of the pandemic and traveling ? I went on vacation without my half sister and still hear about it till this day.
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I agree that u should go with or without them.
I understand he wants his daughter to go too. But, you’re his family now too with babies on the way. There will be times she probably won’t be allowed to go. But, that shouldn’t stop him from going with you. Yall can just make more plans to go again when she is able to.
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We can’t always take every kid in our blend. And the kids know this happens. There will be some on vacation one time and other times not. Sometimes we have them all.
But he left one family and is starting a new one. If his daughter can’t come, well she can’t come. But he should be going as this is the new future he chose. After all, he has two on the way. I’d think he would go to even help or protect you. Twin pregnancy is not easy. You all deserve a vacation, even just a weekend getaway.
U go take it to domestic court judge will force and if u have a paper stating custody time u can have the police enforce it if she says no and go on ur merry way
I’m with dad honestly. We don’t do vacations are zoo trips or things like that without my stepdaughter being there too.
He lives with you. You are his girlfriend. His daughter is unable to join you all because her mum said no.
If his daughter can’t come because his ex said no, that means he’s not going either. You are pregnant with his children & he knows you need a small break as a family before the babies are here. Yet refuses to suck it up!
Well, I’d be hurt by that behavior.
Talk to him. Tell him how that is making you feel. Hear what he’s got to say.
People tend to be irrational when irritated. Happens to all of us at some point. You’ll know what to do after that talk 
I understand how he feels but if the mother can take her on vacation why can’t the dad? Do they have joint custody? Ask the court if he can take her! If the court says he can’t then he should go without her. It’s not fair to the others to cancel because she can’t go! What is her reason for not letting her go? Maybe she can compromise!
What a punk. He should go with you.
i would go by myself. just saying.
What is the parenting plan … most plans allow atleast 1 if not 2 weeks (often non consecutive of vacation)
Why is he not allowed to take her? Is there a court order? There are a lot of unanswered questions.
Go without him. You deserve the beach AND the break.
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Go without him. YOU need a vacation too. From him.
I’d be more concerned that the ex is dictating what happens in your home when his daughter is there. Sounds like he needs to man up.
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This is something you should of considered long before you decided to have children with this man . Just saying your partner had started a life and family before you and whatever issues that come along with it unfortunately are part of the whole package.
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It’s very unfair that he’s not willing to go because his daughter can’t
Her mother won’t allow her fine but why should you suffer the consequences ? He’s being ridiculous I would go without him
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Depends on custody…I have full physical and legal. Ex cant take my kids without telling me and me saying it’s ok. Luckily he never wants to take them on vacation. He just goes with his GF because she doesn’t want the kids around.
He should still go with you and in the future if his ex allows his daughter to go plan another trip for all. If he has a court order the ex shouldn’t be dictating his time with his child.
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With me dad and I get two weeks a year. We need to give a month notice. Give the other parent all the info. Flight info where we are going etc.
Off you go alone…don’t waste your time because of him
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So plan the vacation when he has his time with her
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Think it’s an excuse but enjoy your time you need it
The world doesn’t revolve around his daughter
She can’t go ok fine the show goes on smh
Leave him at home and take another adult (like your mom or best friend)
I got with out him I never plan anything with my husband’s and why doesn’t he go to court so he can take her on vacations father s I’ll never understand oh the mom want let me see the kid well dammit do something about it
Id leave his ass every time.
What an idiot his is too ignore the other kids cause he can’t see his daughter
Go on family vacation without his ass! If he doesn’t want to be a part of it then that’s his problem.
Go without him. Make other plans, etc.
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To hell with that! Let him miss vacation and go without him.
So his ex’s wont allow permission for daughter to go on holiday with you basically. Me personally would go by myself and your daughter for break. Your hubby can refuse but in fairness thats his issue. Why should you all miss out because of his ex. Whats going to happen in future once twins go. He going to miss their future hols because of his ex. He either needs to grow iup and be part of your future family pland and take ex to court for holiday rights.
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Don’t miss that vacation because of him. Load that car down and go. He’ll likely never make that choice again!!
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Sorry I don’t think it’s okay to take my kids more than 150 miles away from me. Keep my child in state lines. Because if y’all get into a car accident and I have to drive 6+ hours to see my child, you ain’t ever taking them again. Point blank.
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Maybe he doesn’t think it’s fair to go without his daughter. Maybe he doesn’t want to be away from his daughter or maybe he won’t feel like it’s a family vacation without his daughter. It’s not fair for you to get mad because he doesn’t want to leave his daughter behind while he goes and has fun. He’s doing the right thing. I know if it was me in that position I wouldn’t want to go on vacation with our my kids it wouldn’t be the same. How would you feel if one of your kids couldn’t go?
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Doesn’t sound like a family vacation without dad.
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A whole lotta petty going on
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I would go and let him know that by the way two of his children are also going js
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Sucks to be him he can stay behind go with your kids n have a great time
He needs a court ordered visitation schedule. If the vacation is during his scheduled visitation it’s his right to take his daughter and the biological mother can take it up with the judge if she has a problem.
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Go without him!! Take your kiddos and have a good time. Send him pictures. 
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To him it’s not a family vacation without his daughter. Stop being selfish and realize his child is just as important to him as yours are to you. When you got with him knowing he had a child from a past relationship, you chose this life.
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I have a hard time going on trips if my kids can’t go. I feel guilty.
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Honestly this is kind of a shitty way to look at this on your end.
I’m not sure how old his daughter is…but her feelings matter.
Making sure she doesn’t feel left out or pushed aside matters to your husband and it should matter to you.
I’ve been that kid. My sperm donor and his girlfriends always did shit with the girlfriends kids when I wasnt there. Always. I was always left out. I hated them all.
Now in all fairness to them…my dad let that shit happen. He never once asked to wait for me… I was old enough to see it instead of blaming the girlfriends I blamed him. Now…admittedly he was abusive towards me…while treating the girlfriend kids like gold so this went a little deeper than just being left out…but that was the first “nail in the coffin” getting left out…was where it all started.
I walked away at 16 and I never looked back.
My father will absolutely NEVER meet his grandchildren. He’ll never get to know them.
I would think long and hard about pushing so hard to leave a child out for your own enjoyment. If this was your child…you’d feel differently. You’d never leave them out.
Does he have visitation? If so, she cannot dictate what he does on those days and unfortunately, to be fair, you guys will always have to plan stuff like this to do on his days with her, we don’t have all the info. Maybe, there are issues here not disclosed, like if there have been problems in the past with things like this. I salute the father for not wanting to leave his daughter out, the mother may tell the child that her Dad goes on vacation with his other kids and not her, out of spite, so he’s avoiding that. Lots to this story we don’t know!
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Go vacation at the same time mama takes the daughter. Or accept you and your children will always come in a distant second to his other child.
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I get why he doesn’t want to go without his daughter… But I also don’t think it’s fair for you and the other children.
I’m sorry you are stuck in this position… if I were you… I’d say “ok, I really wanted you to go… but I get it… I am taking myself and the other kids so they don’t miss out”
Although I do have twins and when I was pregnant with them… my whole body hurt a million times more then with my singletons… So idk if I would have actually wanted to do something like that alone… without the extra help.
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I would still go. Take ur kids and go have a good time
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