She’s being rude. You should definitely have a conversation with your fiancé because he should be the one to deal with it or stand up for you when she makes a comment like the one at dinner.
It is up to her son to speak to his mom and tell her what the problem is and see how to resolve it. or it will only get worse after the wedding. Speak now or forever hold your peace.
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Speak now (I’ve been there) or it will continue. I still deal with issues 40 years later but for 20 years it was the root cause of our fights as it was not dealt with.
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Bahahha tell your husband his mom needs to back off or she can take over all duties 
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Get out know. Trust me. 
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Nope not overreacting but have you heard the saying “kill them with kindness” just smile and act like you expect her to do things and it will probably start getting on her nerves and hopefully she will stop, good luck!
Not overreacting. Ask your fiancé what he thinks and what he thinks you should do to cope with it. If you want to be married for the long haul, biting your lip isn’t going to work. You’re gonna be his wife. He can tell his mom she needs to respect you. It bothers me that he hasn’t picked up on his mother’s smug attitude towards you. Hope everything works out
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You’re not overreaction. that’s emotional incest unfortunately and unless he cuts her off or she goes to therapy it’s going to continue
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She sounds just like our daughters mother in law . The mother in law from HELL she will never accept that her son is married and has always treated our daughter like dirt. Our daughter has cut all content .
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Fuck that. You sleep next to that man every night not her. He put a ring on your finger and she’s so jealous she can’t stand it. 
you need to say something now so he knows where you stand that way when she does something unforgivable or says some shit that is so unacceptable that it causes a wedge between you and the ol man. If he put a ring on your finger he loves you. And I’m sure he will do anything to make you happy. I know that’s his mother but you have to stand up for yourself now because if you keep letting it go your going to start to resent your husband for not doing anything but you have to remember that’s his mother so he isn’t going to do anything without a little push
Gotta put her in her place you have your self a mommas boy! Gotta put your foot down and demand respect! She sounds like she is purposely jealous a little doesn’t want you to take her spot but marriage he better put you first
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It’s her ego-she is prideful and won’t humble herself or allow anyone else to seem more capable or more loving than her. It’s sad really-its her desperate attempts to find worth and value as a human being by outdoing others-unfortunately this is being done with cruelty toward you. Try and look at her with compassion instead of anger. The human ego is relentless in making itself feel good-even at the expense of others. Perhaps someday she will learn the value of being her true self-with a humble and gentle spirit. 
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So, when you go over to their house for dinner, bring some food over and make the same remark whilst looking her dead in the eye… 
Or
Ask her out for lunch one afternoon, just you and her. Have a real, honest and open chat with her. Explain how you feel. And let her know that it’s really not a competition. He loves her so much, as a son should love his mother. But, he loves you too, as his girlfriend. The love he has for each of you isn’t in contrast or competition. Let her know that one day you COULD be his wife and you really don’t want to have her as an enemy and would really like it if you could both just get on without anymore upset or snide comments etc.
Of course, if she turns her nose up at what you’ve said and really wants to make an enemy, then, put on your warpaint, go get your armour and let’s play… 
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Put your foot down don’t let it keep happening
Set. Your. Boundaries. Now.
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You already know who and what she is…you will be getting a meddling, passive-aggressive mother in law. He needs to step up and talk to her on your behalf. If he won’t or doesn’t expect her misery the rest of time.
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Sounds like the mom on everybody loves Raymond…your the Debra And she’s the Marie…lol he loves you but he loves his mom talk to Ray about the situation and that she’s offended you in so many ways…
It can only become a competition if you participate. Everyone can see through her efforts to remain the most important woman in her baby boy’s life. Just thank her for the dish she brought over, for helping you take care of your man etc. your fiancé has made a choice to have a grown man relationship with you, but she will always remember his little boy time with her. Don’t let her get under your skin. Discuss it with your fiancé, not as a complaint but as a request for help in how to deal with it. He loves both you and his mom, so this is difficult for him too.
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Just look at her and say if you want your boy that bad then I’ll get my s*** and be down the road
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It’ll only get worse…
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Other wise continue to be like this with your kids when you have them she won’t let you be mom
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You have got to talk to your fiancé NOW! I’ve lived the nightmare. She will ruin your marriage. Don’t just put up with it. You will be extremely unhappy. She’ll come between you both always.
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Speak up now or it will definitely get worse. You are in for a hell of a ride if it doesnt get corrected NOW! I am speaking from experiences I wouldn’t wish on an enemy. You guys are suppose to be one! He absolutely can not play sides in your marriage or you will live miserably. Best wishes💞
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Sounds like norma bates is just getting started,prepare yourself it will get worse, if you’re fiance is not shutting her down you’re marriage will be a disaster goodluck you’re gonna need it
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This is a problem that you don’t want to ignore. Why not start with some premarital counseling. Bring this issue out in front of a counselor and let the counselor help you with this and help your fiancé to understand that with his mother all apron strings have to be cut before you ever walk down the church isle. A good counselor will be able to teach your fiancé how to do this and mean it. If you ignore this, it will be a constant thorn in your side and will only get worse. You definitely are not overreacting! Prayers.
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Oh hell no! I wouldn’t be putting up with that at all. Fuck that shit. I’d be packing up and leaving lmao
Big question is your mother in law Italian? You’re not over reacting, but if she’s Italian you’re never gonna change this!
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Set boundaries now. Talk to him. And then talk to her.
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You’re going to need to set boundaries and stick to them. You should be is #1 not momma
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Just Start asking her to come over every weekend ans let her cook and relax. Take advantage of it until she gets tired of it herself and stops coming.
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you better talk to him.
I had the same problem. Ex monster-in-law even called me by his ex-wife name. Well this is what I did and said…I was taking her somewhere and she kept calling me by her previous daughter-in-laws name…I pulled MY car over and told her “since u miss so and so that bad…have her come pick u up right here. Ur gonna be waiting a long ass time cuz she lives 4 hrs away”. She never called me that again. She yelled at me for not taking care of HER son…“well if u would have raised him right he wouldnt need another mother. I raised my son to be able to cook, clean…everything. I also raised my son since birth that he is NEVER EVER to lay a hand of a female. Its clearly evident that u did not teach ur son anything”. I also told my son’s wife that if he ever forgets his raisin then u call me and I WILL REMIND HIM. I would talk to the mil directly.
Sounds narcissistic…my mother in law wants nothing to do with my bf but when i bend over backwards or hurt her ego bc ive done more as a girlfriend for him than she does as a mother her pride gets hurt and she tries to make everything about her or tries to one up me…in these cases u can soeak ur mind put a boundary out there but sounds to me she wont respect it…so if i were u just put a distance between you guys
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You are going to have to set boundaries now and hold to them or she will always be walking all over you like that. My mil is like that and she doesn’t mess with me any more. My poor sil on the other hand can’t even control what happens with their daughter at mils house.
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TOXIC MIL! Talk to your fiancé
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Hell no! That’s crazy. I would not be able to deal with that. If he thinks that’s okay that’s a red flag as well
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Yeah he needs to put his mom in her place
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She’s being a #itch.
Please say something or your future marriage will probably fail.
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Talk to your fiancé but do it from the I perspective. Don’t say things like your makes me feel like … say instead , I appreciate your mom helping with meals at dinner but I felt upset when I was presented with her doing that in case my food was disappointing. Point things she does out that way to him… if he knows he will see it… if he knows and sees it and doesn’t correct it with her from his own perspective then you have another question you will need to answer for yourself . Just my opinion… I have two daughter in laws I would never do this to them. I love and appreciate them and all they do for my sons.
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Girl leave now !!! Don’t put up with it! If he can’t stand up to his mom he never will and it will ruin your marriage. Been there done that. The mother will never stop if y’all don’t speak up now.
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Naw I would (and did) snap lol. Gf w that passive aggressive weird asf territorial behavior over her son. MIL has some growing up to do in the jealousy and “letting go” dept. if I ever get like this with my sons’ future partners, I’m grounded bc NO.
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It’s not about you and how you do things. It’s really about her insecurity. Has something changed in her life? The extra help is welcomed. Sounds like she needs reassurance that she’s needed. Definitely let her know you’re capable of handling. But that’s she’s important to you and loved. Compliment her efforts publicly and let everyone know how lucky you are to have her in your life. But more importantly she’s your husband’s mother. Without her he wouldn’t be here. Genuinely get to know her and embrace her for who she is. Sometimes he have to let it go. I know personally we can’t change our mother in laws. Lol It’s a fine balance. My mother in law is the opposite and doesn’t do anything for my husband. Not even a birthday card. That’s hard to witness. I think being a mother in law is a curse. I’m pretty sure I drive my son in law’s crazy. But I really try not to be a royal pain. Lol
Wishing you a Blessed future.
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Welcome to having a MIL. I love mine but I have her baby boy. It was rough in the beginning bc I am very outspoken and hurt her feelings and she had hurt mine by little comments. For example when I got pregnant I stopped working and I have never went back fully and when we went to buy our house i was taking her to look at it and she looked at me and said “time to get a big girl job bc her son can’t do it all!” I was pissed bc I had always worked and my husband didn’t care for me to work one way or another. It took some time and we still have little struggles but just set boundaries talk to your fiancé. He may not see it at first but eventually he will. In my opinion it’s just how some moms are with their boys. Good luck!!
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If your fiance is not speaking up to defend you then you have a problem. In my opinion, it’s time to speak up or step out.
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If u don’t talk to your fiance now and just bring up those few things there and let him know how that makes you feel then you’re fixing to step into something that is going to be a issue the rest of your married life if he’s not willing to defend you now he probably never will and it’s either live with it and continue to hold it in or blow up and see what happens but don’t take that from her and let him set idle by that is pure disrespect
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I think she’s the type of mom that thinks nobody is good enough for her son. This is exactly the type of MIL I don’t want to be.
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Nah, momma needs a life and probably a bf.
Talk to your man and if he won’t step up for you, your have decisions to make.
It won’t get better if you ignore it.
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I would of said well they ate it so I’m guessing it was good! Stand up for yourself and if your fiancé loves you and wants this marriage he will have your back!
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Nope, he needs to put his mama in her place!
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I was married to a mamas boy and it ruined our marriage, among other things, but this was a leading factor. Tell him about it and if he sees nothing wrong then you’re in trouble. Just leave while you can and save yourself the migraines. Otherwise, you will ALWAYS hear this shit from her and it really starts to get to you.
You need to say something to your fiance. It doesn’t mean he needs to say anything right now, but make him aware so he can see it going forward. When she says stuff like she did about the dinner, HE needs to point out how rude it is.
If he didn’t step up now, he NEVER will and she will likely never learn boundaries.
Just let her. She does want to compete with you. Don’t. Let her cook, clean, etc… she will get the center of attention that she craves and you will have less work to do. Just keep in mind your fiancee picked you by choice. He didn’t have a choice with her
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That would piss me off. It’s his job to talk to her about it.
Just lighty reminder her you get to help pick her nursing home out when she old jk 
talk to him and see if he can talk to her just try to let roll off your back and not up set you
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You need to talk about it before it gets worse and continues she just needs to know her place in your lives.
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Not overreacting . It’s his place to do it with his family. If he doesn’t then you speak up . Chances are it won’t happen again once she’s confronted .
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No, some mothers in law have been to see Satan and he drafted them to his army. Ignore her. That’s what I do with mine.
This will only get worse as time goes on. He has to address it, he has to let her know you’re important to him and he won’t allow u to be disrespected!!! If u address her you become the asshole!! Trust me on this one 
The mother-in-law/daughter-in-law dynamics can be extremely complicated. I’ve found that often these issues are often the result of:
- Different “ways” My family is fairly close-knit. When my aunt comes over…she knocks and walks in. I don’t find it rude or invasive (she doesn’t do this every day maybe once a week). To others, this would be extremely rude and invasive behavior.
- Assumption. We assume that the basis for behavior is because of “x reason” but it’s usually more complicated than that.
- Lack of effective communication. So often when we as people communicate we focus solely on our feelings and wanting our feelings heard that we unintentionally make the situation word by not hearing the other person out at all or by using words and tones that come across as almost hostile.
I do not think you’re wrong for being unhappy with the situation, I also think addressing it now is probably the best recourse…but I would caution you to handle this situation with care.
You’ve been together for 5 years and this is a recent behavior change, which means that it’s likely not YOU that is her problem but likely some internal fear that has been triggered. Try just sitting down and asking how she’s feeling. Maybe try asking for her help with something.
It may just be that she’s afraid of being forgotten or left behind.
If it continues then be more direct in how you address it but still as compassionate as possible.
I would have to say something to either your fiance or have a calm non accusatory talk with Mom. Sounds like she hasn’t let go of her baby boy yet. And you really need to get this stopped before the wedding.
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Tell him to step up & back you up. If not, it’s going to get worse. & it’s your house… your rules. Her food could have stayed in her car.
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I think you’re overreacting. I’m not sure if our instinct to protect our children ever go away. Just kill her with kindness. Like with the dinner comment. You could have just complimented her food. Sometimes, that would be enough to stop it.
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Not overreacting at all! Set those boundaries now! Ya’ll have been together for five years, not five weeks. There is absolutely no reason for you MIL to behave in such a manner; it’s toxic, inappropriate, and borderline gross. Just remind her the next time she comes into YOUR home that snarky comments will not be tolerated and she can quietly exit out of the same door she entered through.
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Anytime she has snarky comments like that say…’I didn’t know we were competing, let me bring my A game’
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Just imagine when you have kids .she’ll be like that with the grandkids. My son‘s grandma is so overbearing. No matter what you tell her she will always do what she wants. Finally when her son started to say something to her about it she just ignored him. Telling me what do you want me to do she doesn’t listen to me. Now I’m single and our son is 5. Until this day she’s still the same.
And He is still a mama‘s boy. 
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Nope, you are not overreacting. Do not hold back how you feel. If you continue to let this stuff happen then it’s only gonna get worse. Say something to your fiancé and if he doesn’t say something to his mother then you might want to rethink marrying into this family. She is a monster in law and she will never stop unless she’s put in her place.
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Set that woman in her place NOW!! Or it’s only going to get worse, trust me. I had to set his whole family in place and now they leave me alone and only text him LoL. Then he set them in their place and life is great. Best of luck to you both.
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Some moms are like that. It won’t change after you get married.
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She sounds like the Mom from Everybody Loves Raymond 
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She is afraid that she will lose her son . You need to find a way to broach the conversation, he will always be her boy.
Look up enmeshment.Hopefully he stands up to her.If he doesn’t stand up for you,move on. Because he probably never will.
Stop cooking and cleaning and just let her do it all… Lol
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Cause drama lady! Snap back! Defend yourself! For god sakes you’re a human being with feelings and you have a right to express them and be heard, tell the bitch off or tell your fiancé because if you go into this marriage dealing with unspoken anger at her you’ll never enjoy your life with him. If your man doesn’t stick by you and try to defuse the situation with the MIL he’s not worth it.
Everybody loves Raymond
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Jab back. ‘yeah but they didn’t come for your food. ’ or ’ yeah but he can’t fuck you so I can take care of him better by default’ jokey voice that off. Hahahah
Sounds like Raymond’s mother !
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If you don’t put a lid on it now, it’ll continue and only get worse once you’re married. He should be sticking up for you, bottom line.
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MIL sounds delightful.
You need to move, either with the fiancé, or without. If you can’t point out her inappropriate comments or behavior to him (which he should’ve picked up own his own anyway), and he won’t stand up for you, he probably shouldn’t be your fiancé
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Many moms are like that. Set boundaries and talk yo your fiancée first then talk to his mom.
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No she’s for sure being rude and apparently can’t accept that her child is grown
This is a shame…
It says more about her than you hun.
You know there’s no competition. Keep trying to be patient with her.
It will only get worse
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Sounds like Marie from everybody loves Raymond
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You are joking. Is this straight up…sure it’s not a SHORTLAND STREET script…
Learn to love her and her ways or speak up and say something to her… In a firm but loving DIL way. Let her know she hurts your feelings. Yet you appreciate what she’s trying to do.
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Set boundaries now!!! It doesn’t get better after your married and definitely not if you have kids. Open communication with your fiancé and with her. Otherwise it will eat at you and eventually you will be so hurt you’ll blow up
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Tell ur boyfriend how you feel and how it bothers you… If he doesnt fix the problem… Then take ball in ur own court. If you dont you are just showing her that you will allow whatever disrepect from her from here on out… Boundaries need to be set…Good Luck
Omg girl get away from her quick!!
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Run run run … run … she will always be like this. Once I had our son. She said she’s his mother too. She won’t listen to her son or me about respecting us. She doesn’t know boundaries. Once I started working to save up money to Leave his father. Because I couldn’t take it anymore. I didn’t have any family support. She said he’s my son. I take care of him. She has my son spoiled rotten!! I don’t trust daycare. I wish I would’ve ran away. Now,I’m separated from my son father because of how he and his family acts. Don’t get me wrong they love our son. And would do anything to help out. Which I’m so blessed. But they don’t know when to stop or know how to stop and mind their own business.
Ps I understand this is my situation. It’s a possibility .it can happened to you.
Good luck
- Just imagine when you have kids .she’ll be like that with the grandkids. My son‘s grandma is so overbearing. No matter what you tell her she will always do what she wants. Finally when her son started to say something to her about it she just ignored him. Telling me what do you want me to do she doesn’t listen to me. Now I’m single and our son is 5. Until this day she’s still the same.
And He is still a mama‘s boy. 
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Handle it now or it will snowball into a huge issue in the future.
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When my kids were babies, my FiL and his fiancé would buy the kids (I’m not even exaggerating) 20 or so cheapy gifts each and say that santa left them for them at his house. I shut this down by 1) telling him please don’t buy them so much, I want their excitement to come from the gifts santa leaves them at our house and they also do not need so much stuff. When they continued to say santa left them the gifts at their house after I asked them not to, I would say to the kids (in front of them) “oh nanny and poppy are just playing, everyone knows that santa only comes to your own house. All of these gifts are from them, say thank you.” I said things like this a few times and then they stopped. I don’t care they were pissed… my kids, my house, my way (well, me and hubs).
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From someone raised by a narcissistic mother, God rest her soul., this all sounds to familiar, first of all your husband can’t help her actions, he may not even realize how she is bc he’s been in it, he’s prolly more insecure and indecisive from being raised that way. As I got older I began to see my mom for how she was and why she was that way., She was neglected as a child & sadly very immature.As she got older she got better with the way she treated ppl and the 3 months before she passed she wanted me to take care of her as she was bed ridden., Even though I was the one to always call her out on her exaggerated stories and put her in her place when she was rude…idk but I guess what I’m saying is, she’s not going to change until she sees the downfall of her actions and or until she grows older and realizes her foolishness…I would talk to my husband, not in a negative way about her but in a aware of situation way, then if something comes up,call her out, making her aware of her hurtful actions., She will prolly get mad, my mom usta give me back a gift I had given her when she was mad:/ so childish., But just know she’s that way, limit your exposure to her as much as possible also., I’m sure everyone else sees her for how she is too., Hope this helps, hang in there,it’s not easy, but try to except her as she is,but with your guard up. Unfortunately lots of ppl have a mother -n-law from hell. 
Stand your ground and call her out for being rude the moment she is. You can do this in a polite way. “Thank you, but I am more than capable and I found what you said rather rude to be honest” she obviously can’t let go of her son and find you a threat. Her son, your partner, should say something to be honest. It’s not on and it’s stifling behaviour that is not helpful in any way.
You need to set boundaries now before yall get married.
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You news to talk to your fiance. And your fiance talk to his mom. You need to be open and communicate.
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You marry the family , when you marry him! Beware! Talk with him, and try to work it out, but I don´t think she will change. Set boundries, if she does not respect them, get out of this relationship. Give her a certain amt. of time and opportunities to see that you can handle things and do not need her to be a backup for you. I really wish you a miracle!
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I just think certain boundaries need to be set if you haven’t already. If she then can’t respect that, hurt her damn feelings lol
Have your fiance talk to her let her know she is not needed unless asked
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