You need to be honest now, you need to say how your feeling to both your finance and the mother, maybe the mother has a dry humour and thinks she was being funny at the table. But you need to be honest as nothing won’t change unless you state your feelings. Once you are honest if you still feel the same then you have decided if this is how you want to live your life. Better to find out now then pay for a wedding and then pay to divorce cause you are not being honest with your self or the ones around you. People are not mind readers and don’t know how your feeling unless you stand up for self.
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Either he cuts the apron strings and sets boundaries now or you leave! It will continue and I had this with an ex…he refused and when he spent my birthday(that he promised he’d spend with me and his stepson and his newborn)at his mums mollycoddling her I left him
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Jessica Rose Adkin sounds like someone you know 
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Ugh he needs to say something to stop her!
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You should sit talk to your boyfriend and be honest. Be prepared because if this is now that you are not married it will be worse when you get married!!! Some mothers in law are just toxic!
I wish you well! Not all mother in laws are bad!
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I’m just going to throw this out there.
He’s had a bond with her all his life. That was the first woman he ever loved, that was his first best friend… & If he chose you, obviously he sees some of her in you…
Do not be petty. If she wants to come “take care of” her man-child LET HER so you can get a break, run errands, clean up, get groceries, see your kids, ect. NO. BIG. DEAL.
As far as dinners, I’m sure she has done family dinners for many many years before you came around. Families get used to & even expect certain things, so again quit trying to find a reason to be offended.
Whether you like it or not she is the Matriarch of your husband’s side of the family. & She deserves respect.
You do not deserve to be put down or made to feel less than, just like she should not have to feel like she has to compete with you for a place in her child’s family.
You aren’t his new owner, you are an addition to his life. Blend in. Willingly not grudgingly.
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You can have a great relationship with your mother in law as long as SHE understands that YOU married her son. Communication with both your Husband and her will set the cards straight
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Have you watched Everybody Loves Raymond ? 
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You’re not over reacting. His mother has a problem.
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Honestly talk to him and tell him how it’s making you feel.
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Sounds like Mommy Dearest wants to still have her baby boy under her wing. That is an ever going situation. Marriage will not change her…might get worse!! Give him a chance to see it and change it…or get rid of him. If you stay…you will forever have her as the extra one…the enemy! It is not worth a lifetime of misery.
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Yes and No… its hard to be the Mom on the outside .now replaced by her boys new wife… But having been the DIL living under a MIL that was just like that . It’s hard to just let her lil “digs” go. It took till my MIL was on her death bed to actually say something nice to me.
I didnt get it till I became someone’s MIL
It will only get worse. The second I saw the first line the first thing that popped in my head was run. She will just male things worse especially if you ever have kids with him. My guess is that she would put you down to the kids and try to make them love her more. Honestly you shouldn’t be emotionally drained by someone who should be like a mother to you.
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Monster inlaw! Good luck with that for the rest of your life
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Run away fast as you can
Id be shutting her tf down for that dinner comment. Tell her to take her ti* out his mouth already. Absolutely youre not over reacting.
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You better speak up now momma otherwise it’s only going to get worse. Talk to your man it’s his place to set boundaries, you are going to be his wife. If he is a mama’s boy and won’t then run for the hills because she will be in the middle of your marriage and make it hellish.
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You’re not overreacting but not all situations warrant a response. She feels threatened and possessive, she has to share his love now. She gave birth to him and has turned him into the man you love. He is who he is because of her. Give her some of the credit so she knows he’s in good hands as weird as that may sound.
This will pass.
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l get paid over $177 per hour working from home. l never thought I’d be able to do it but my buddy makes over $18223 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is endless.
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She’s jealous he’s gotten engaged.
She’s not ready to let go of him.
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You ain’t seen nothing yet just wait for the wedding and the grandchildren. She is not worth your unhappiness tho, just ignore her and everyone will see that she is the drama queen and not you. 
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She’s trying to break you both up if you two love each other you got to put her in her place but in a calm smart way when she says that say my mom was a amazing cook in she taught me how to cook in be a amazing women in wife .just speak up in have some come backs don’t let her get away with it.but say it in a calm way. Let her see she’s not going to win to break you up.shes testing you if you can be stronge in be a women that can be a good wife to her son.advice he’s a momma’s boy.so she will always be like this she won’t change in in time it will affect your marriage in relationship with her son.
Let him know if he allows her to keep this up he will forever be alone because she will one day pass (pray it’s not soon) but when she does he will be alone bc mommy did it better… I tell ya I never thought I’d get mine off tht titty but thankfully he has let them know as his wife I run this sh!t
I would tell her how her comment was hurtful at dinner for sure. That if you plan a family dinner and she wants to bring something to let you know in advance so that you can let everyone know mom brought some family favorites as well.
Caring for him who cares. Let her or let him tell her to stop smothering him.
She is getting used to this new changes as well. Give it a few more months and if she still trying to one up talk to her more about it. It’s important for you two to have a good relationship as well or your marriage will suffer.
she is having a hard time with he is grown now
I don’t think it’s a one up thing. I think it’s a feeling like she won’t be needed anymore thing. The comment about dinner you could also take it as her standing up for you and if they didn’t like it she also prepared it. As far as the comment about being the best person to watch the baby, I feel it’s also a way to show you she can be important in your life.
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Sounds like everybody loves raymond
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You need to have a conversation with your fiancé. He should be the one to speak with his mom about boundaries. If he gets defensive or gets upset, that momma’s boy relationship will always overshadow his & your relationship.
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Time to speak u now with your fiancé. Or, you will have her forever trying to one up manship on you your whole married life. Handle it discretely but firmly. You could also when you are alone with his mother tell her how your feelings are hurt. You must face this now or forever keep your peace.
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Just laugh it off and let it roll off. Let her knock herself out cooking. Let her believe she is the best cook. We have to carefully choose our battles. This isn’t one.
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I find myself in a similar situation. The most important thing is to communicate with your fiance. Don’t “talk $hit” about his mom just give him an example or 2 and let him know you just want him to be aware of the situation and how it makes you feel. Also, family is so very important and nothing will ever replace them but the 2 of you are a family now and the two of you are the only ones who are truly looking out for your success and happiness. You can’t let family or anyone get in the way. Always have each other’s backs and any time someone disrespect you or pushes a boundary he will see it and he will have your back in whatever way nessisary.
No, you’re not. You’re also letting her get away with this treatment, meaning, she’s going to keep pushing until she sees how far she can go. Stop it now, before it gets worse.
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Mom is having a hard time cutting the cord and realizing that she’s not the number 1 woman in his life anymore. It’s all a rather Petty Power Play on her part. You need to talk to your man, and he needs to tell mommy dearest to chill. It’s not that you don’t want her in your lives, but she needs to know her place in it and stop with the one-up antics before it ruins your relationship with your man.
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She sounds like Marie from Everybody Loves Raymond. Go as far as possible, away from her, or you’ll end up like Deborah, miserable.
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Pick your battles. Some things can be ignored, but others shouldn’t be. In my case, my MIL was very involved in the raising of her other son’s children, and tried to do the same with mine. After a couple of times of my shutting her down in this area, she got the hint. However, I appreciated her input in other things like suggestions with clothes and shoes (she is much better with that than I am). Picking your battles is your best defense in case she tries to claim that you mistreat her. It’s worked for me for 25 years.
Im basing my comments on my understanding of what you shared not not having a clue about the parts you didn’t share.
This is your sign. Your fiance should be standing up for you EVERY TIME. If he isn’t, she knows her actions are condoned by him. She holds the lead female position until he stops it.
Is that how you want to live?
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Nothing going to change there . It will get worse unless you belittle her . But do you want to do that . I would say something if she don’t like your food there’s the door
You will need to have him say something to her. He is no longer an actual child… her child yes but a grown one…
You have to say something now… fiancé might just be thinking mom is only helping out, which she is, but she’s adding immature comments to it. And he may not be hearing and or understanding it from your prospective. It is important that you address it and snip it in the butt
Tell him to handle it or handle it yourself. It’s called emotional incest. He will either stop it or he won’t. If he refuses to, I’d be out.
Ummm, It’s Not your place to say anything… it’s his…
You need to have a talk with your boyfriend and remind him it does not say it once but twice in the Bible that a man leaves his mother and father and is joining with his wife.
( Genesis 2:24 and Ephesians 5:31)Now I know you’re not married yet but he needs to start retraining his mom🤷🏻♀️) 
Just let him know how are you been feeling tell him you’re gonna let him handle it, that way he can start working on it before the wedding, because this is not going to be a quick fix it just tell her and it be done… she doesn’t sound like it would go down that easy 
But the fact she stood up and said what she said to everyone about the dinner… smh… 
You may have a son one day and be a mother in law…. However I don’t like what she said about your meal may not have lived up to her expectations. Speak with your fiancé and let him know how you feel, but you definitely have to say something to her.
Did your partner not stand up for you at the family meal ??
Ok… it’s time to sit your fiancé down and explain how his mother is making you feel… especially in your own home. Tell him how you felt about the meal thing, then about her appearance after his medical procedure. Let him know that once you are married, if you have children, you won’t tolerate her coming over and presuming to take over with your babies because she thinks she can do a better job than you. Let him know that he needs to tell her that he loves her very much, but she’s over-stepping the boundaries and it’s not right. He’s a big boy now and he needs to build his life with you.
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That’s a losing battle, ignore it! She’s got issues. Lol. You Do other things with and for him that she can’t do. Be sexy live life like theres no tomorrow and ignore KAREN.
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He needs to shut that down or it will get worse. You’re not overreacting. She needs boundries
That’s a MAMAS BOY !
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This is just like a Dhar Mann video. 
She’s afraid of losing him. But he needs to be the one to say something, cause it could cause tension between you & her if you do. I agree with another persons comment here about you making an extra effort to talk to her about things she enjoys, & y’all go out & do things together, just the two of you, & include her in your wedding plans. This will help you build a better relationship with her. It may take some time. Keep an open line of communication about it with your fiance.
Ew, weird lol. He has to be the one to put his foot down.
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Oof, mamas boy. I dated one of those and regardless of age it never changes 
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l get paid over $177 per hour working from home. l never thought I’d be able to do it but my buddy makes over $18223 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is endless.
M0re Info. https://amazingearning120.pages.dev/
My mother in law was a little like this at first. We worked through it. My husband stood up for me though. He would’ve laughed and said " Rebecca’s a great cook." Or something.
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You should definitely talk to your fiance about it, she might just be having issues letting go of him now that he’s going to marry you, maybe try talking to him about that and explaining that to him and maybe try to have scheduled times when she can come over so you guys have your space too.
If he doesn’t stand up for you with her now he never will.
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RUN RUN RUN! You can’t fix this insanity, been there, attempted that and failed
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Your not overreacting. Tell her it’s time to cut the cord…
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Stand up for yourself, in a nice way, of course, you will be more respected by all! And, your soon to be husband should stand up for you also.
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You might wanting to break up with the mama’s boy. It won’t get better after you marry.
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I’d definitely talk to him about it and if he doesn’t say anything or have your back then I’d say it’s time to go
She’s throwing ropes hoping you will grab them and react so whenever she does something like that like bringing the food over and saying that in front of everyone trying to put you down just smile and say thank you for bringing your food with a smile when she feels she can nurse him better allow her to do it your not backing I way or allowing it to get to you your allowing her to show her mean side and she will eventually get bored with getting no reaction whatsoever you may be raging in your head but the less reaction she gets the quicker she will eventually 
realise she’s acting the fool and exposing herself because people like her ate the type to bad mouth you whilst nursing her son he hopefully will correct her and see right through her
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You’re not overreacting. I’ve been there. You’ll either have to set her straight or your fiancé will need to talk to her. She feels threatened by you.
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No, you are not overreacting!
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You have a right to feel as you do.
Make a big point of thanking her for her help when she does things, even little things.
Ignore the snippy comments
Only respond to the positive
No point in lowering yourself to her level
She’s just feeling like she is losing her son and overeacting. It’s her problem not yours. Do not ask your fiancé to speak to her about it either as she will feel you put him up to it and have something else to resent you for. Don’t put him in that position of being the bad guy and choosing one over the other. Hopefully he will speak up on his own to defend you but if he doesn’t that is fine.
You know he loves you. You know he never has to choose between his mom or you. She is not secure in the same knowledge. She could be reacting to what she’s seen or been through in the past
Next time she brings food to a meal you’ve also participated in or hosted be the first to tell her in front of the group how much you appreciate her contributions to the meal. You could also ask her for her recipe ( even if you never plan to use it)
I feel sorry for her. I had a mother in law who treated me similar. Turns out her mother in law did the same to her. She didn’t even realize she was doing it. It came up after her son and I divorced.
Good luck
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Oh hell no. Family drama or not (that SHE’S causing) I’d say something. He is engaged to you, not mommy and he needs to stand up for his future wife to mom. Period
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She is jealous of you being with her son after all to her he is her baby boy . She wants to make sure that you can’t do and look after him better than you . Just smile and grin don’t let her get to you he loves you .
U need to talk to ur fiance
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I would sit down and have a conversation with her. I think it is great that she has a great bond with her son, but also rude to make comments such as your dinner not “meeting expectations”. Let her know that those are not kind words. Definitely call her out in the moment, but in a mature way. She should be embarrassed of her actions. If none of that works, I would say she is not allowed over any more till she can act like an adult
You need to talk to your fiance, and if he doesn’t do anything you can pretty much bet it’ll always be like this and go on. Seriously if he doesn’t say nothing to her and then you do , I promise he will be mad at you. He just doesn’t have healthy boundaries with his mom , that’s great they are. Still close but I’m a firm believer that a man leaves his mother and father and creates his own family.
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Okay, as a mother of a grown son
(No I never did this) but I think she’s feeling like your taking her place, stealing her boy persay.
I wouldn’t say anything to your husband at first, I would ask her to lunch and have a heart to heart with her. And tell you that she isn’t losing her son, she’s gaining a daughter. That you appreciate all her help but you feel as she’s trying to make you look bad as she’s does it. And that it hurts your feelings. That you want her to love you as one of her children as well. I personally think it will help. Telling her son is just going to make a bigger problem of resentment towards you
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Sounds like a typical narcissistic ML… id sit down with your partner and let him know you want boundaries set… for example she can’t just show up because she wants to
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You need to tell him how you feel. If he dont say anything to his mom then this is gonna be your life. Is this what you want?
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Tell him how you feel, if you can’t, stay single. Communication…
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Throw you a gathering but don’t include her. That’ll show her
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Girl get her under control BEFORE you marry her son AND BEFORE you have kids or it will be 100 times worse! Talk to your fiance. She was DEFINITELY wrong in the comment at dinner. You aren’t trying to replace her. You are becoming his wife but some mothers have a very sick relationship hold on their sons! My EX MIL was and STILL is one of them! My EX husband now lives with her and she takes care of him! Its disgusting!
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Boy/Grown Man mama here. I think she is feeling threatened that she is being replaced. I would have a conversation with her. A calm conversation, not in the heat of the moment. Let her know that you love her son, you are not trying to replace her or compete with her. Also, let her know that her side comments hurt your feelings. If she doesn’t want to hear it, then that’s on her. It would be a conversation that I would have in front of her son in case she is one of those that will run back and say you said something you didn’t and that will also show him that you are trying.
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I’d have a talk with her, but in a respectable manner,if that doesn’t work then I’d talk to him
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well i can say this talk to mom and put her in her place be nice just say i got this u can help if u like but im doing the dinner r whatever i appreciate ur put in butn i did this and planned this please put ur nose back on ur face
Have a talk with both of them and if the talk doesn’t work Start standing your grounds and let her know she can’t keep treating you like this and if your fiancé can’t stand up for you then something else needs to be done. It’s not fair to you to be treated like that.
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She envy you. Talk to your husband about it. Maybe u can come up with something.
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Hell no say something to your fiance
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RUN. You’re about to marry a mommas boy, and she will make your life hell. Don’t say you weren’t warned.
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She was a total bitch to say that at your dinner table with guests. Pure rotten. Nip it in the bud before you marry him, because if he’s mama’s baby, your going to deal with this forever. Tell him it has to stop. This is on him for the most part. You have to respect her, but you also have to put her in her place. If she says something like that again at a dinner your hosting… Say yeah, we’re having a cooking competition…She’ll shut up/
Talk to your fiancé and tell him how you feel. It’s only going to get worse otherwise.
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Welcome her and be appreciative of anything she does. Once she realizes you are not competing she will settle in
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No, and only gets worse 
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I seriously don’t even… what?
This is so weird!!
If I was you, I’d talk to my fiancé, and be real, level headed, and lay the facts out. Tell him it makes you uncomfortable, and you aren’t sure how to proceed, because you obviously don’t want to make waves. But you don’t want to be her whipping board, and in competition with her, either.
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If you don’t stand up for yourself nobody will.
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Better sit down with your fiance and try to fix it or give it up
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It will only get worse .
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You need to think on this you marry him you marry his mother
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This will most likely never change… you will need to decide if it is something you can live with. Talk to your fiancé, let him know how you feel. Don’t say I do until you come to an understanding you are comfortable with 
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Oh Hunny, if she is acting this way now, it is only going to get worse if you marry her son.
Her behavior is a backhanded way of politely say she does not think you are good enough for her baby boy.
And with that mentality, she will make your marriage a living night mare.
Sorry Sweetie, but no matter how much you love him, you only have 2 choices here. You either prepare yourself to allow her to treat you like shit for duration of your relationship to her son. Or you need to put your heart in a box and leave this relationship.
If your fiance is not putting a stop to his mothers behavior now, then he never will and he will backhandedly be allowing her to treat you like shit till the end.
Sorry,
Incest mother. You can’t get through to one of them. Speak to your partner about your concerns and see if he feels his mum is overbearing too.
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Having dealt with this for decades, my advice is do NOT rush into marriage. Take it slow and really pay attention to this issue. If you can’t get it under control beforehand, don’t marry into it. Speak to her one on one when you are not upset. Let her know you are serious about him, love him, and will be there for him. Let her know you want the relationship between you and her to be good as well. Explain right upfront that you didn’t appreciate the implications that she made about dinner and taking care of him. Tell her maybe that wasn’t her intention, but you won’t tolerate anything manipulative going forward. Talk to him as well, let him know how you feel and how you addressed it with her. If there’s one more incident, address it in front of both of them. Then see if it changes. If not, decide if you can handle a lifetime of that on so many levels…cause that’s what it will be if it continues.
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Gross behavior on her part!
Absolutely not over reacting. She is one of those weird moms who are jealous of their son’s significant other. Which is ALWAYS weird and creepy!! You have to tell your husband calmly about this. Sit him down and explain just as you have here. Rooting for you.
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Prepare yourself for a life of hell.
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You’re not overreacting. Little snide comments like that are purposeful and are intended to let you know you will always be inferior. Trust me, I know except 1000x worse. Your fiance needs to stand up for you when this shit happens. My husband doesn’t let anyone ever make any snide remarks to me. It doesn’t matter who it is, he puts an end to it immediately.
You’re not overreacting. It’ll only get worse. Speak up now.
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l get paid over $ 188 per hour working from home. l never thought I’d be able to do it but my buddy makes over $ 16328 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is endless.
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