NOT your place, and most Definitely NOT your business! Focus on YOUR child and let Boyfriends Mom deal with HERS!
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Repeat after me… not now, not after she has no other options. If she is unwilling to help herself let everyone know your stance on not getting involved in any capacity.
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You need to start talking to your boyfriend now, he needs to know how you feel about taking care of her. Plus, his mom shouldn’t be putting it off on y’all. She needs to be telling her daughter she’s going to be on her own when working 60 hours a week kills her.
I have chronic anxiety too, and am actually on disability partly because of it. If hers is that bad she should apply for benefits so her mom doesn’t have to work so much.
Also, next time your boyfriend’s mom says something like that tell her you’re not interested in killing yourself to take care of a grown child, you already took one of her children. 
I keep trying to get my mother-in-law to take my husband back I definitely wouldn’t want another one.
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Nope. Nobody needs to step up to babysit a 24 year old !!! But… mom WILL kill her with “kindness”. She’s unable to care for herself? It won’t get better with time… she’ll just get older and more dependent.
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I would speak to your SO. This is where HE NEEDS to speak up and tell his mom that he will not accept responsibility or enable his sister. Doing so is doing a great disservice to her. He can recommend to his mom that his sis: get treatment for anxiety and any undiagnosed issue she may also have, she can apply for SSI and/or disability, she can get her GED (and from there she can choose to continue her education)…After that conversation it is up to his mom to tell her daughter the gravy train is over.
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Yeah really none of your business and you don’t have to take care of her
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Just don’t do it that’s all !
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I would not fill stuck because I would not take care of her period
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Say nothing. Do nothing. When something happens to your mil. Sis is on her own. Maybe by then “anxiety” will be a disability and she can get assistance.
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Why are you still not married for one thing and for the sister if if she gets hungry she will find a way stop sending the worring about her and work with a better life for you
I wouldn’t say anything for now. What worries me the most, is if her mother is gone… She will not be able to cope with life as she is too dependent on her mother.
Her mother should be the one to cut the umbilical cord from the age 16 or so… she should have pushed her to get a job and finish her education.
Another thing that can happen, is that if she wants to work on day; without an high school diploma ir will be hard for her to find a job. Probably, she will be dependent for life on a future partner and be a housewife.
I think that you don’t need to worry for now, as it is not your problem. Anxiety is real, however it is not a disability that makes you unable to work. Maybe she can do jobs around nature, farming l, cooking or others that are not front facing customer services.They don’t need a lot of qualifications and are peaceful if she doesn’t like to work with people. She can always seek help from a specialist as maybe something else is going on with her or within that family dynamic.
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There is medications for anxiety. Have her evaluated for depression or whatever else. There is help out there for her. Counseling services are offered for free thru mental health community services. Give her information to help empower herself. If she makes no moves, you done all you can do. You don’t owe her a living. She is a grown woman. She will have to figure it out. Mom has handicapped her by being an enabler to her dependency. Mom done her daughter a great disservice in life. The best legacy you can give your kids, I’d self sufficiently.
Sink or swim times coming so don’t worry about her.
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You are not responsible for her.
I’m in the same boat but we’re not expected to take care of her but his mom doesn’t work sleeps all day because her boyfriend works nights so the daughter also stays up all night sleeps all day just got a job but doesn’t pay any responsibility and doesn’t leave the house due to anxiety it’s sad to watch but frankly it’s not our life and you need to let your husband/bf know you won’t take care of a grown adult capable of doing that on their own and if not that will be the time to learn I guess you have children your raising you can’t be worried about someone else’s grown child. Speak up you might end up being the bad guy but your protecting your home and family xoxo good luck
It’s not yours or your partners obligation to take her in. Nor is it your job to make her get her life together. She’s a grown adult, she can organise therapy and working herself.
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Not your or her brother’s place to take care of the mother’s child. The mother raised her to be lazy. Tell her mother to make plans to an institution to care for her. Be firm and honest. You’ll see how fast she can improve.
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its her life… not your business
Mind your business. If it doesn’t affect you it’s not your issue. Respectfully
Together for 20 years and not married does not sit well with me:thinking: