Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My brothers ex is keeping their baby from him and us, help!?
Take her to court. Get a DNA test to prove it. She can’t say no to a court order and it’s not right to keep him from his kid if he wasn’t violent or controlling
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You don’t know their relationship or the issue. Dna test then court. Stay out of it and be the aunt. Everyone is always so quick to jump on the mom BUT you don’t know the full story 
help where you can, see the baby when you can but seriously, stay out if it. All this “mom advice” but noone being real really. No mother would want anyone butting in and if they are on and off they could get back together and then you look bad
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Go to court. My boyfriend went through this with his baby mom. Tell him to file emergency custody
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Actually that not true he can get a attorney they will do a paternity test and he can fight for his visitation and stuff.
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Not to be that person but even if she wanted to put him on the birth certificate, she can’t without him signing it and being present.
If he wants to see the baby then he needs to take the necessary steps through the court system. Plain and simple
- Since EVERYONE is telling me differently, where I live, which is in Washington, because I was unmarried and my daughters father wasn’t present he was not put on the birth certificate despite my efforts.
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Nope! Not true. He can petition the court for a DNA test. I’d advise getting a lawyer because she sounds like she’s not going to be fun to deal with! Hopefully your brother can be professional and respectful towards her so she can’t use his behavior. Unfortunately both women and men can be very manipulative and petty. Also as for your parents there is a such thing as grandparent rights if he is the baby’s father.
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He needs to take her to court for DNA. Once that is proven he can fight for custody and his name on the birth certificate. Tell him dont wait because she can go after him for child support. If she waits 2 years she can file for back support. Get everything straight now!
Here’s the thing its HER birthing experience. Is it wrong for her to keep the baby away, probably. But regardless of how y’all feel she did what she felt was best for her birth. Let her recover from the birth and have your brother retry then. Birth can be very traumatic. And if she still is keeping the baby away from him have him take the necessary steps through court.
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Get a lawyer. Request a DNA test to establish paternity. Once that’s established he can petition for custody/visitation. Document EVERYTHING. Print out any texts between them for as long as you can really as long as it’s relevant to the case, do not speak to her directly, go through the lawyer for everything, and do not post anything about it on social media. She can and will use everything she can against you from the way she is acting already
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You don’t know what goes on behind closed doors. She very well could have a good reason to not want him around. And she can’t put anyone on the birth certificate without them doning it their selves. Unless you’re married, but obviously they’re not. He can always go down to child support office and get the DNA test order started, and child support ordered. It may suck for your family to not be involved, but there’s not much you or your parents can do. Only your brother can fight for rights. And if he was abusive, she will be able to use that against him.
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He has to take her to court to sue for paternity rights. It’s not going to be cheap it’ll be worth it in the long run.
However “he’s not violent towards her” isn’t a good way to explain their relationship. Not that I’m saying that’s a fair reason to keep a child away from a would-be involved parent, but that tells me there could be multiple reasons besides physical violence that she wants her distance. Also, she has no duty to allow him into the hospital or the delivery room with her if they make her uncomfortable, and a lot of hospitals are only allowing 1-2 visitors total. If I wasn’t with my baby’s dad, I’d want my parents or a best friend there, not him.
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Lawyer up, court ordered paternity test & fight for his parental rights. If he has no prior history of violence against her I dont see the courts siding with her to make him lose his rights. She should be thrilled he wants to be a part of their child’s life, even if they aren’t together.
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First off he needs a paternity test then he will be added to the birth certificate. Side note she then can go after him for child support and he isn’t guaranteed visits. He will then need to get a lawyer and petition the court for a parenting plan. A parenting plan has to be filed with the courts to be valid! These are the first steps he will need to take. It sucks but this is how the system works and unfortunately if she isn’t unfit then the courts may rule in her favor.
This happened to my brother almost exactly. His son is now 9 and he has 100 percent full custody for tne last six years
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He still has rights even if he’s not on the birth certificate. I would have him go ahead and file through social services for a paternity test, then once’s that’s established they can also establish custody in court. A lot of places have groups who help fathers for this reason and most at little to no cost. Don’t let him think he has no options, and no rights to his little one!
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If he believes this is his child he needs to file with child support and volunteer himself to get a DNA test to be proven to be the child’s father. He needs to step up in demand his right as a parent and pay his support.
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He needs a DNA test first then he can get his rights established
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He needs to petition for paternity. More than likely they will have him do a DNA test. They may also put him on child support. After establishing paternity he needs to petition for visitation.
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All he has to do is get a self help attorney and have the court request a paternity test. Once thats done he can fight for his rights and partial custody.
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Dont argue with her or her family tell your brother he needs to do a DNA test then file for 50/50 custody
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Being left off the birth certificate doesn’t negate his legal rights. Save all of the text messages for the court.
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Good lord. The baby is only 6 days old, that poor woman just gave birth and you have no idea how good or bad that birth went. Birth can be very traumatic, she probably didn’t want the drama of an ex in her delivery room on top of that. The birth certificate hasn’t even had time to process yet, so how do you know he’s not on it? Give the poor woman a week or 2 to recover, then if she’s still acting up think about the next steps to take to be part of baby’s life.
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He has to get a DNA test and take her to court but no matter what she was well in her right to not have him at the hospital and have the hospital lock him out. She also was in her right to keep him off the BC. You on the other hand have no rights what so ever so I suggest you stay out of it. You interfere and she will make things worse.
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Court and DNA test. He does have rights to that child.
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First and foremost, you should just stay out of it. He as a man has rights and he can take her to court and get visitation legally. No woman has the right to withhold a child from their dad unless something else is going on.
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Yep I agree, go to court n request a paternity test… brother should be patient n let the legal system help, because things could get ugly for him if he doesn’t.
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Just another petty female using the child to hurt him. Its so sad. I mean he didnt sign the BC soo theres not much that can happen
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He can take her to court to establish paternity. File for custody (or at least 50/50 custody)
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With covid and everything I dont blame her for not wanting anyone around the infant. 
. I don’t care of it is said father. Her job as a mom is to protect her infant. Not only is the baby adjusting. But momma is going through emotional, physical and mental changes also. Her health is important as well. He needs to request a DNA test and go through the proper procedure to see the child.
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So he needs to be at the court to file for a paternity test Monday morning! All it will take to claim his rights is a test proving he is dad then he can fight for his 50/50 custody.
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Have him file emergency custody and have him keep all the text messages and everything. Document document document. The more documentation the better chance he’ll have in court.
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DNA test and take her ass to court. That’s the best way he’s going to get his rights or visitation. And get an order. So she can’t take his time without repercussions.
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Everyone saying paternity test through court I agree with. Another thing is he needs to NOT give her money to take care of the baby. For that he needs a lawyer or to go through the states attorney general. If he gives her money directly when child support is ordered she can say he’s never given her anything and he will have to pay back child support as well.
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Go to your States Div of Child Services, get a DNA, ordered, then get 'custody decisions ’ made by a Court…& no matter how 'mad/&or frustrated…ALWAYS ‘PLAY NICE’, with the Courts!!! May take time…but, the child deserves to be the “WINNER” here, not her or your brother…think ONLY LONG TERM & FACTS…
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Time to lawyer up! Fr fr and if she try to get him for child support it wont hold because he aint on that certificate. She’ll have to do a dna and once that is done he can get on that certificate and fight at least for half custody. Both parents should be apart of a child life no matter if the parents are together or not all babies need a mama and daddy
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Tell your brother to file child support on himself so that financial obligations and custody agreements are set. I would definitely encourage him to ask for a DNA test… just to be on the safe side.
Best of luck to y’all’s family.
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He can file a paternity suit with the child support office and they would assist with establishing paternity. That would add him to the birth certificate and then he would be able to seek a custody agreement
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File emergency court hearing for parenting time. It’s emergent due to the importance of bonding with the child.
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Get a lawyer so you can establish custody (DNA test) then he can go for parental rights and visitation. A few thousand dollars but totally worth every penny to be able to have a relationship with his baby. Prayers it all works out.
Actually he can petition the courts for a dna test and then she has no choice
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He needs to go through court. And just respect what the mother of his baby wishes at the moment. It’s a lot on her too bc they have been on and off. She’s very fragile ATM
He needs look into legal side if he can’t afford an attorney and see what help they are able to provide him. Just remember depending on what state u are in, time sharing and child support are 2 different types of court. If she put him in cs, that doesn’t mean he has visitation rights just like he can have visitation and not pay cs. Just have him call legal aide and they should be able to give him the direction he needs to go in. Also he can see if a family attorney had like free consultations and they could either help him or steer him to what he needs to do. Good luck
First get a paternity test. He can petition the court for one. Then go from there. Until paternity is established he can’t do anything without her consent.
He may not be the father.
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I highly suggest he get a lawyer ASAP, one that does custody. I believe he needs a paternity test done first, but a judge can order one to be done if she doesn’t want to cooperate. Honestly, getting a lawyer asap should be his #1 concern right now. Hope things work out & he gets to be in his kid’s life.
Why didn’t he get a test done while she was pregnant? With the on again, off again relationship style they had he may not be the father. You all should have advised him of this for 9 months, instead you crossed your fingers and hoped for the best… You can’t just insert yourself now, he has to grow up. You have to let him do this himself, support him yes but from the sidelines. NO contact with the baby momma or you’ll look like the bad guys and she’ll use it against him.
He has legal rights… Whoever told you or him he doesn’t are very much mistaken. Unfortunately at this point, he is going to need to prove paternity and get a lawyer. Some women can be absolutely awful human beings and hold their children over the fathers head. It just isn’t right.
He needs a lawyer and demand DNA test and go from there… if he wants to be in his child’s life, pay child support, and can prove he’s not violent no judge will keep this precious baby from him
Get a lawyer go to court get a dna test and visits asap. My husband had to go thru this with his youngest from his ex we didnt get to see him til he was 2 months old and then got custody at 3m.
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He needs to get a paternity test and fight for rights to see his child.
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Sorry, they aren’t married and she did was in the best interest of herself - which is what any mother should do. She has her reasons for what she decided. If he wants rights he needs to petition the court and get a DNA test from the baby required.
Not married - mother decides what happens the minute the child is born
Sorry.
You can request the attorney generals office get involved, he will need to do a paternity test to prove he is the father. Then they’ll get into custody arrangements. That’s incredibly crappy of her! Hope she softens her heart!
He can take her to court for a DNA. I hate when girls do that to guys .that want to be Ij babies life. Don’t out kids through why u hate the other parent.
There is something else going on besides her just not wanting him around. I’m sure your family doesnt know everything that has happened between them.
Regardless, if he wants to see his child, he needs to lawyer up and request a DNA test to be added to the birth certificate and get some rights.
Get a independent child lawyer ICL and they will fight for the best Intrests of the baby which will include the babies right to have their father in their life. Best of luck
Nothing he can do until he takes it to court and get a DNA test… Just keep it civil with her because they can use any bad stuff against him in court.
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Can he not request a dna test to prove hes the father so that he does gson his lawfully rughts as well as your family’s rights!!? Hope it all works out and she stops being like that and using the baby as a pawn to het her way or whatever it is she is trying to gain
None of us know this lady, we cant say for sure if she really did it because she felt it was right or if she is really the aggressor in the relationship, same goes for the father as well. In my experience, I have always seen toxic relationships where it was a good 80 percent of the time the women who were master manipulators and extremely narcissistic. Not fully knowing any of them though and trying to give them advice is pretty pointless, they lived their own lives and made their own decisions, they need to figure it out themselves.
He has to go to court house an file petition for DNA test to confirm paternity and then he can file for custody whether its full or partial. I’d highly recommend getting a lawyer but if you can’t afford on look for a family law facilitator in your area and a self help resource center they will help him get the proper forms an make sure he fills them out correctly
Time to take a trip to local court. Many have papers you can fill out for custody to at least get a date. He may need to consult an attorney for solid advise on how to go about it in your city. Good luck.
Hun the fact that she herself sent a msg saying tell him if you want is indication enough that he is the father. Have him get a lawyer and just take her ass to court for parental rights and custody. It’s gonna cost some money but she threw herself under the bus when she sent that text. It’s gonna be awhile but he’ll get partial custody. 
One it would not have mattered even had he been put on the birth certificate there was to be a dna test. Now what he needs to do is save every text they have ever sent back and fourth for court. He needs to get a lawyer and serve with the papers for custody and dna. It will help him a lot if he does this fast. I am so sorry he and you all have to go through that bitterness.
Even with his name not on the birth certificate he has rights. He just has to go through the legal system. He files for a paternity test. If the mother is not breastfeeding he can also establish a joint custody agreement they will both have to abide by and if either doesn’t comply the other gets full custody. Been there done this don’t try and be reasonable ok f the other side is not trying to be reasonable. Stand your ground, but don’t be stupid if they are going to keep breaking up and getting back together.
In most states it’s marriage not biology that determines Legal Father. If your brother was not married to the mother’he is not the legal father. He needs to get a lawyer and file an affidavit determining paternity.They were not married so his name being on the certificate or not makes no difference LEGALLY He. would be required to establish paternity regardless. Have someone Google ( punitive Father registry) If he ever wants to have any legal rights as a Father these are necessary. He needs to establish t paternity regardless of whether they get back together or not if he doesn’t and. they break up and she leaves he has no right to that baby she will be the sole legal guardian
Get a lawyer and demand a paternity test! A good lawyer will help in his rights to seeing his child and to receive visitation privileges. Men have rights too!
Look we don’t know what went behind close doors and you only have your brother’s end of story but your brother does have rights. As the aunt of the baby, I would not be in touch with her and her parents or siblings. Let the court handle the situation. I’d advise your brother to go to court and have a DNA order done to prove that he is the father of the baby (which sucks cause it’s such a shit thing to do, takes two to make a baby). Once he is proven that he is the father, the attorney/lawyer can take it further to maybe have the birth certificate amended and start talking about 50/50 caring/visitation. All the best and good on you for seeking some help and supporting your brother, not all men are physical, verbal, mental abusers in relationships.
Sorry but I’ve seen first hand how people can lie all too well about violent relationships and even though it might have sucked for him to miss out on the birth, neither of you have any understanding of how her labour must of gone and labour is a time for the MOTHER and BABY to feel safe and comfortable. Its their lives at risk. A peaceful, smooth birth is more important than what someone feels their entitled to. In saying that she is also experiencing an immense amount of hormones and if she feels she is protecting her baby for a reason you don’t understand then it is not your place.
If your brother feels he’s been done wrong or genuinely wants to be a part of his child’s life then he might have to go through lawyers, court, etc to see bubs. If she accuses him of being violent and has evidence than not only will that come to light but he will have a very slim chance to see bubs ever.
Instead of attacking and accusing, help her through this time by being reasonable and not taking sides. Be supportive and understanding. Be open to both sides because though she is in protective mode now, the child’s needs should always come first.
He can go court and get a da test done and if he is father then fight for visitation and he should document everything
Sorry to sound harsh but thats what happens when you have babies put of wed lock. The father has no legal rights because the child has no legal father. In my State a birth certificate being signed or not means nothing.
Go to court so he can get his rights to his baby will be a process but in the end worth it
He can go to court request a dna test and as soon as it comes back that the baby is biologically his he can petition for parental rights. As long as he can prove he has a stable home stable income and has proves he wants to be a good father the judge should grant him his rights as a father
I don’t know them, nor their relationship history, but I kinda feel like possibly she may have gotten prego with someone else during one of their breakups, and now doesn’t want your brother to be apart of the baby’s life. If I was him, I would request that a DNA test be done to see if he is the father, and if it comes out to be his, hire a lawyer and do it the legal way, that was she can’t deny him visitation, and if she tries to do that, she can be held in contempt of court. Good luck to your brother
You have no way of knowing what their relationship is really like. You can advise him to seek legal advice but don’t be that aunt that blames the mum thinking that her brother is completely innocent. It takes 2 to make a baby and maybe the girl has realised that an unstable relationship is not something she wants to expose her baby to. What do you mean “he’s not violent towards her” seems a strange thing to point out, is he violent elsewhere? Violence is not just physical harm
Take them to court An don’t give up i haven’t seen my grandchildren for almost 2 years it hurts mothers have all the power but do not give up something has to come up for a father’s right to see their child at birth prayer 

Subpoena her for a paternity test and then set up a custody agreement right away. Tell your brother not to fall into that trap again! Your nephew doesn’t deserve to grow up in that environment.
Go to court and file for a paternity test. They’ll make her bring the baby for dna testing, and she won’t be able to keep them baby from him anymore.
I mean, sounds like she trying to send him a “read between the lines message” “YOU ARE NOT THE FATHER”
He needs to keep documenting EVERY event that occurs… date, time details, etc…
Don’t create hostile environment wherein she can use it against him.
Whatever state he reside in, he can go to the child support office and establish a paternity only case. Once paternity is established, he can contact the courts for 50/50.
It’s always three sides to a story and we will never know the complete truth.
With my 1st born having red hair and baby blue eyes and my ex being from Argentina he didn’t think it was his.
Get a DNA test.
Maybe she has doubt it’s his or she’s being difficult because that’s how their relationship is.
He requested a DNA test and it was his.
Everyone’s like we don’t know the whole story or their relationship… I don’t care this still isn’t right. 
Get a paternity test done and proceed with court. He drove an hour and didn’t get to see the baby broke my heart… and then the birth certificate situation oh my gosh :(. God bless him…
It sounds like there more to their relationship than you know……. Her actions seem pretty extreme to treat the type of man you believe your brother is
Get an attorney and establish paternity. He’ll be put on child support most likely, but there will be a set custody order in place.
Go petition the court for DNA and file for your custody rights. It’s going to be a fight, keep everything documented. Do not do phone calls, communicating with her, text only. Make sure you have it all in writing. Paper trails.
Honestly, if they argue all the time it’s probably best he wasn’t allowed in…I know it sucks, but Mom can’t get stressed out after birth, it’s dangerous. He’s going to have to get a lawyer and assert his rights. He’ll need a DNA test and court order to be added to the birth certificate. He also needs to have a decent job, and safe place for baby visits and I’d tell him to immediately open up a savings account for baby. Even send her money for the baby, in the form of money orders and keep the receipts. Ir send diapers etc…delivery through Amazon/Walmart to keep track. Unfortunately, most states don’t give the Dad automatic rights if they are unmarried. He’s going to have to jump through hoops to hopefully get visitation and joint custody. He needs to NOT argue with her bc that can and will be used against him.
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Yep idk what state but in Oklahoma would file for paternity court would order a DNA testing then visitation. Expensive and timely. Best to try to play nice so he can at least go with his parents to see baby on her terms until court case is settled. In Oklahoma you can also sue for grandparents rights. It sounds like he is in for a crazy 18 years.
Punitive father registry if your state has one, paternity test, custody. Show effort throughout. Good luck
If he does a dna and puts his name on the birth certificate the only thing it’s gonna do is allow her to get child support, he will have to get a lawyer and get a separate court date to allow visitation
Maybe she isn’t sure the baby is his? Your brother would be better off seeking paternity then going for 50/50 custody if it turns out the baby is his.
He can request a petunaty test and fight for his rights. She can’t keep him from his child
Good news is she won’t be able to be greedy & try to get child support because she didn’t put him on the birth certificate, therefore, if she tries to get child support then there will have to be a DNA test done & then he can fight for custody/visitation! And a judge will frown upon a mother refusing visitation to a father that is trying so hard to be in his child’s life & the mother making him miss that bonding time in the beginning. He needs to lawyer up & take her butt to court asap! He may even been able to go speak to legal aid in his town & get help for free. I understand that they have been off & on which could be for so many different reasons but If there’s no past history of violent behavior from your brother then there should be no reason he couldn’t be given the chance to be the daddy he wants to be.
It’s not your baby. You need to respect their boundaries. If the father wants to pursue, let HIM.
Are you in Florida? If so, file a paternity packet at the court house and they will establish paternity and visitation
Talk to an family attorney ASAP. Get a court date ask for DNA as a precaution. Once court has that on file they can force visitation and support orders and even force her to add his name to birth record per DNA results. Again contact family attorney ASAP
My neice is in the wrong place for certificate reasons and is being neglected and abused but can’t do nothing about it because her dad has no rights till court orders a DNA test and makes them go. We have rights as her dad has no rights an shes literally being neglected and abused.
File for paternity and visitation! In Colorado the father has to be there i. The hospital for you to put him on, it can’t be done without his permission.
Get a dna test done first thing and second once that’s done set a court date. Remember there’s his story and hers so sometimes it’s best to just mind your own business and let them handle it. But as his sister I understand where y coming from I’ve had a same situation
Welcome to the mother alienating the father from the child. To assert his rights and the child’s to their father, the father may need to confront the mother which may cause conflict so is bad for child.
The father may withdraw to protect child.
When there is conflict between mother and father, it is better that one parent has control and the other play a back seat. Usually the father.
My reality.
Sounds like another crazy baby momma. They’re tons of them!
My brother has one of those and sounds like a similar story to his, but they were married and separated by the time she delivered.
Courts don’t take well to alienation even with a baby. They definitely don’t like falsified charges if she claims he’s been violent when he hasn’t.
It won’t be cheap, but he’ll need to lawyer up.
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If he’s not abusive then stop using the baby as a pawn to have some control over him . That’s so messed up .its gonna be a long 18 years .
Why were they not talking when she gave birth? I think there is more to the story your brother isn’t telling you… seems really weird to me… he is gonna have to go put himself on child support, that gets the dna test and him on the birth certificate, check with a family attorney as he may need to get a parenting plan to see the baby.
He still has parental rights. Court and DNA test ASAP!
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