My child has become aggressive towards me: Advice?

Take him for an evaluation, he should definitely be speaking by now. Does he have any other delays? Try to note down when he started sitting up by himself, crawling, walking, etc, take that with you. He may be developmentally delayed.


It could b his babysitter also !!! Some kids lash out if they r being hurt !! But u just never know what goes on at daycares! I would definitely check it out

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So you don’t see him much , when you get home most time he’s already sleeping and your complaining when he wants to hold your finger??? Are you serious??? Take that time and cherish it, how long or how long do you think you have that he will still want to hold your finger… I’ll tell you … not long… they grow up so fast and the fact you work so much to provide for both of you… he misses you, see hasn’t seen you since the morning… when you crawl him bed and he reaches for that finger… pull him close to you and cuddle till the morning… maybe that special time at night might change he’s anger towards you too

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Imagine your frustration but without he ability to verbally communicate. 2 year Oolds also don’t know how to regulate emotions. Please do your son a solid and don’t punish him…step in uf he’s hurting himself and calmly say “Mommy can’t let you hurt yourself” redirect attention, give options (apple or banana vs do you want fruit) Lastly make sure you use more words to praise him then criticizing

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Missing some whipping that’s what he needed


Ignore him when he’s bashing his head. My brother and nephew both did that. We ignored them. They stopped. My brother is now a Trooper. My nephew is 5 and adorable.


Find out what is going on at daycare. They tell you he is fine but I would do some investigating. Someone may be mistreating your child and this is the only way that he can tell you something is wrong. Find out and observe for abuse. Take him to his doctor and let him know what’s going on. If it’s autism he can refer you from there.

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There is a thing called ODD- Oppositional defiant disorder and my grandson has it and ADHD and mild autism. It is a very real thing.

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Might be he misses you. I was a single parent of 2 & know how hard it is. Maybe try to have at one day/night a week that’s you & him together time. Let him think of some things to do, watch movies, color books, crafts, cook dinner. Doesn’t have to be expensive, just one on one time

Sounds like he isnt getting enough attention from Mom. It is hard to be a single parent (I was one) working to survive and allotting the time your child needs you. Something goes lacking. Sounds like he is angry with you for not being with him when he wants but he loves you so much he is acting out to get your attention. … Good luck. Sending prayers. I know it is hard.

The bilingual thing could be the cause of frustration along with him missing mom. Also, it could be early signs of autism. Something I would look into if I were the mom (just as a precaution). One way to defeat this, and it’s hard and it hurts so bad, but APA therapy would suggest that the mom ignore the child when he throws tantrums and calmly tell him that you will not interact with him until he stops. I watched my daughter slap herself and others, but after a day or so she stopped.

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Could be autism or anxiety or some other psychological/emotional problem. Yes, that can happen even as young as 2. Also, consider a food allergy, specifically food dyes, which are found in many foods, especially red dye. My niece had an allergy to red dye & she acted this exact same way from the ages of about 3-4. Until we found out about it, we thought she might be autistic or have behavioral issues. Check the foods you give him.

It sounds like he has separation anxiety. He only sees you when you drop him off at daycare so he thinks you won’t be there to pick him up. Yes your mom helps you out but he wants his mom. Set a certain day to when if you drop off she picks up and vice versa she drops off and you pick up that way he knows you will be there for him. Being a single mom is rough enough for the kids and they want to have their comforts needs met.

2 is tough. They need to learn to sleep in their own bed which is just as tough on you as them. Learned with the second child. Never slept with me. No problems. Weaned from bottle by 1 to 18 months. They do pitch tantrums to get attention. And when they are just tired or hungry. I tried to meet every need and make sure they were not sick. Then it is time to discipline by putting in own bed and let them cry it out if need to. Sometimes they just need a hug and comfort. But be firm with your decisions. Bed time is bedtime. Love them, read a bed time story and then nite nite. Talk to them soothingly. Explain what you need them to do. It is time to teach them to use their words for what they want or need. Sometimes they have trouble communicating at that age. My oldest son had hearing problems. I felt guilty when I discovered he wasn’t always ignoring me. He just couldn’t hear me. Twos are tough. It is a learning process for you and them. Prayers for you both.

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You should talk to your pediatrician. At 2 years old he should be communicating somewhat. I don’t want to scare you or sound like a doctor. My nephew was showing behaviors like that and was tested and he was diagnosed with autism at that age . But it also could be something else like a hearing problem, speech development etc. I would definitely speak to a doctor for the best sound advice.

I work for Head Start in the Early Intervention Department. I would advise calling Early On. They can evaluate him if you are concerned. Don’t let anyone freak you out with suggestions of autism. 2 yr olds are unpredictable. If you would like the Early On phone number for your area feel free to message me. It’s free to have them evaluate and services are also free if he qualifies for any help. It’s a wonderful available service.

I would ask his Dr about ADHD autism or things along those lines. This sounds exactly like my son other than the bilingual part and he was diagnosed with autism at 4 and bipolar later in his early teens …

On my day that was a reason for a good whipping! Never had that issue again!!! He’s getting away with it, no authority to speak!


Yea and sometimes that he could not feel good period. My grandson could try his best to be good in school and was but as soon as he got in the car he was horrible. He had bad allergies that were taking over him giving him earaches in infections.

My grandson did the exact same thing. Mom and dad ignored it for about 6 months. He never let up at all. Mom got him in behavioral therapy, it made a 200% improvement. Pediatrician said he had bad fluid in his ears. He only jibber jabbered, no words. He was talking the way he heard it. Tubes were put in his ears and about one week later he was talking.

He think you don’t love him, that have left him to your mother, he only sees you when he awakes, yet its then you are sending him off to daycare. You have to sit up a date just for you and him all day and night and when he wakes up he sees your face.

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At 2 yrs of age children are beginning to realize they can do a lot if things by themselves and want to do everything, thus they do not need mommy to do things for him. But, they still need mommy for a lot of other things. Most daycares don’t have enough staff to work with children one on one so the children do have a lot of “I can do it by myself” time. But they are structured more like in playtime, learning time and lunch and he knows what is coming up next and what is expected of him and may need a little more structure time at home. If you are having problems with him when you take him to daycare he may be having seperation anxiety. Give him a big hug and kiss and tell him goodbye, don’t ever try to sneak away when his back is turned. Once you say goodbye, leave. Don’t linger around because this can cause the seperation anxiety as it makes him feel you don’t want to leave him so now this is not a good place for him to be. If you leave after telling him goodbye and tell him grandma will be picking him up he will feel more secure after a week or so realizing you left him there but grandma is picking him up. That’s what happens every day and he will get use to the routine. This behavior you’re describing is why they call it terrible two’s.

My son is fifty when he was two he did that a lady told me to pour warm water over his head.well the next time he did he was in the bathtub.that water did stop that .no shift change can help when you have to work you have to daycare.

My son is and was like that. He just recently got diagnosed with adhd with a compulsive disorder. Which also includes issues expressing his emotions. He tries to show love and affection but it comes out as hitting.

He has abandonment issues. He feels like you’re going to leave him and not come back. Poor guy. I’d take him to his pediatrician and see if he could get some help. Bless yours and his heart. I know it must be hard. God bless you both.

He should be tested. Children with autism (if that is what he has) do not respond well to spanking. Hug him until he goes to sleep. That’s what he needs.

Sounds like the aggression is a way of him communicating… if he can’t use words , try and get him to draw pictures… makes emotion faces snd ask him to choose which one he is feeling … if sad ask him to draw s picture of why … learn some mackaton … if you work a lot of hours you need to put time aside for just you and him. Xxx

my daughter did that and the Dr said she will stop when it hurts her so i just let her do her thing and went in the living room it took a few weeks and she stopped doing it

Sounds like u need to spend more time with him he’s wanting attention and all ur time and attention is spent on work work should never come before kids work should never be more important then spending time with ur kids if ur job can’t accept u have a child that needs u as well then there’s a whole world out here full of jobs

I’d get him a full work up with the Dr and see if he can be tested for autism spectrum issues. 2 year olds can be very horrid with temper tantrums it’s normal. If he knows he’ll get his way all the time he’ll just get worse. Stop giving him attention when he does it. At 2 he should be in his own bed even if he’s in your room. No bottles only sippy cups at that age. You are in charge and need to stop giving in when he acts up. Rewarding bad behavior will only make it worse.

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He misses you. Case closed. You need to figure out special mommy and me time.

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He is demanding more time, in my opinion. See if you can get more awake time with him. It’s hard being a single mom, I know been there, done that. But kids can handle all most anything if time is giving to them.

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I would say he is as frustrated as you. Maybe more. He only has a few ways to express his emotions. He is using them. If he could talk he would probably say he wants more mommy time. He doesn’t understand why you " abandon " him. Talk to him. Just because he can’t talk, does not mean he doesn’t understand . Also, check out that daycare situation. There might be something going on there. When my son was 18 months, he began to have meltdowns on the way to a private home , accredited daycare. I was frustrated as well. I finally said, " I wish you could tell me what is wrong with that place. ". My son’s first real sentence was, " She hurts my elboken (elbow). " I looked and there was a thumbprint sizes bruise on his elbow. I broke down crying and told him he never had to go back there again. We made other arrangements, and things got much better.

my oldest son threw tantrums like this so one day at my moms he threw a fit and my mom grabbed him and turned the water on in the tub and put him under cold water and he stopped his fit and never threw another one

Ummmm he needs his mother. Good nurturing love and attention with loving affection…not a hit and miss mom


Watch nanny 911 my daughter has 4 toddlers and says it really has helped her to be a better parent. Your child in my opinion is reaching out in this manner cuz he misses u and needs more one on one fun interactively with just u.

If he’s not talking yet and he’s showing signs of self harm and aggression, have him tested for autism. My son wasn’t necessarily aggressive but he’s autistic and does the same things.

It sounds like you’re son may have autism my grandson did the same thing it turned out he was.

Have him tested for autism. My grandson is autistic and this is how he used to behave . Caprock Autism Academy is the best place for behavior modification therapy . It works and now he speaks . He didn’t until age 7 he is now 11. Start with your pediatrician who can refer you to the specialist he needs for testing . Keep fighting for it as they don’t like to test before age 3 but he is exhibiting so many symptoms that you should persist and insist he be tested! He can qualify for early childhood education but our schools do not include the therapy that actually helped Cameron more than any other .

Had a step-daughter that would throw herself in floor,kick,scream,bang her head–nothing worked–until her doctor told be to throw water in her face while she was inhaling–tried it and she quit throwing her tantrum–told her next time would be a bigger glass and it would be cold water…Her next tantrum,that’s exactly what I did–She never threw another tantrum after that…

Take him to the doctors see if he may be Autistic. That is around the age my grandson started acting out. He turned out to be Autistic. //Talk to other parents at day care make sure he is not being abused.

My son acted like this and sometimes still does. I broke him from head butting the floor but no one agrees with how I did it. Nothing worked and I got so sick of it. He still has anger issues but has never got aggressive with me because he knows I’ll get mean back. He was also two now hes 10. He has ADHD and either SPD or Autism they dont know for sure yet

my little boy will be 2 in may. and he doesn’t say anything other than, mama, dada, and bad bad. i’m having the same issue with correcting him and him throwing himself on the ground and beating his head on the floor and on walls. and throwing toys because he’s frustrated. and i think a lot of that comes from him not speaking. but he’s very smart, and understands everything i tell him. we don’t co sleep. i’ve never had an issue with him sleeping in his own bed. i wish i could give you some advice. i’ve asked his doctor what i could do better, and she said i’m really doing everything i can do at this point. and maybe look into speech therapy when he’s around 2 1/2 if he’s still not saying anything else. as for the frustration. i think it’s just a phase for some kids. sometimes he’s a complete angel. but when he’s mad, it’s a fit from hell. i wish you luck!

Coming from an asd momma this sounds to me like signs of autism. I have two on the spectrum and this is so similar to things they do. I would have him evaluated.

I found talking to my kid about my own worries helped. It created a bridge, they crossed it totally about their own feelings too and ita lasted 16.5years. Kids who are you can’t really express emotions correctly and we don’t get it…Mr rogers knew what he was doing. Just talk,

Definitely wants attention from his mommy…he misses you and he’s showing it the only way he knows how…

I am so sorryyou have to go through this. I would be very concerned and ask the pediatrician to recommend a child psychologist. I would also question what may or may not be happening at the daycare! Not saying something could be wrong there but that behavior in a child that young could suggest the possibility of some sort of abuse. No matter who.the caregiver is you must always trust yours and your child instincts first.

Yes, definitely get him to his pediatrician for a full evaluation with labs, then a referral to a child psychologist for evaluation and treatment.

Try ignoring him foe awhile when he throws a fit .i think if he was hurting he would stop hitting his head. Iknow you worry and it is hard but he is getting more attention when he is being bad. Ignore it for a bit see if he stops. Mine did the same thing and it worked by loving on him more when he stopped. They just need the attention even if it is negative attention . Good luck it is hard being a mommy.

Ask his pediatrician there could be more going on then what you think. It is odd that he does not talk he could be autistic.

Wants attention maybe? Try walking away. Tell him when he stops you’ll talk to him. if course, its a more serious problem he’ll need help, but the fact that he only does it with you seems to mean he wants attention. My son did it once when he was about three. I told him "You are not (insert friend’s name) so get up right now. Lol he did and never did it again.

A 2 year old on a freaking bottle! Seriously? My ex mother in law let her son take a bottle till he two and when he was three he had to have all of his teeth yanked out in the front from bottle rot! My son was 13 months and had been weened she watched him one time and I went to pick him up and he had a bottle with freaking Kool Aid! I was livid! And yes my son and his uncle are 14 months apart and I was almost 21 when I had him she was 42 when she had her youngest.

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You should maybe try taking him to a doc. He could be experiencing some kind of a trauma from the daycare or possibly something physically that would cause him to behave this way as well. Maybe it’s something he can not control. Maybe the inability to speak is part of his issues and frustration. He’s unable to communicate what he actually wants or needs

Sounds like a 2 year old. Sometimes to ignore the behavior works. Distraction helps to. If he is hitting his head go play with his toys with your back towards him. At this age they will try anything and everything to get attention.

It’s a temper tantrum. It happens. Your the safe space that’s why it happens with you and your mom. This too will pass. The more you react the worse it will be. You got this.

The daycare! don’t wait until it’s too late. get him out of there. something is happening there, and you need to raise holy HELL and find out what exactly is happening. then get him out of there.

If he throws himself down and beats his head on the floor, let him. Walk away. When he doesn’t get the attention, he will stop. My daughter tried it…once. I turned off the light and walked into another room, acted like I didn’t hear a thing. She quit, got up and never did it again.

When pitching, walk away. Totally ignore him. He’s doing it to get attention. If he’s being mean also walk away. When he’s he’s being sweet praise him give him positive attention.

My daughter done the same thing.her pediatrician told me to walk away from her and not give her the attention.i did it and she stopped I was shocked.

He probably just misses you and has learned that acting out gets him attention. Not bashing, you’re just trying to avoid him hurting himself but he’s learning that you will give him what he wants in the process. Ignore the bad behavior, let him throw his fits, don’t engage. He’ll figure out that it doesn’t work. Excitedly praise his good behaviors and introduce discipline. He’ll learn.

Not sure at al, but would surely talk to pediatrician. His actions with you almost autistic, but Don.’t think he could switch that off for school. Good luck. Do not stress over speech. If you do not understand what he wants simp,y say, SHOW ME.

Its just a stage, he’s only 2 he dosent need therapy. All kids go through it. Your the closest one to him so he’s going to take out his frustrations on you, you just need to calmly tell him its not acceptable and put him in time out.

I’m not a mother but it sounds like something to see a doctor about or a psychologist

A non-verbal 2 yr old is sure to be frustrated because he can’t communicate. I am a proponent of teaching little ones American sign language; it saves so much frustration until their speech develops. Have his hearing checked just to be sure he hears properly. Slow speech and that type of anger is a symptom of autism, though not everything is that.

Therapist here. . obviously take to PCP to rule out any behavioral or neurological concerns. But based on what you shared he is seeking attention. He doesn’t need to act out at daycare because he is getting attention there. Also, two is a hard age. There’s all these things children are becoming aware of but don’t have the cognitive development to understand or verbalize.

Maybe something is happening at the daycare. .
No child should ever be aggressive, unless something is going on

My daughter is the same way. Her doctor said it’s perfectly normal. I was told to ignore the tantrum as best as possible because they are seeking attention. They see it as even bad attention is better. My daughter gets a lot of attention however when I am busy cleaning and stuff is when this happens. It is normal.

It is definitely OK to ask for advice anywhere you want to!! Even if somebdy types in all caps telling u different :roll_eyes: But also talk to his dr and maybe hv him evaluated or ckd out. Keep your head up…it will work out !

My son was a head banger the doctor told me when it hurts he will stop. He would bang his head and I told him to do it again
It stopped lol

My daughter was a pain In the ass around that age. Ignoring tantrums worked for me and they eventually stopped.

He misses his mom on weekend spend more time with your son

Since he doesn’t speak yet, have you considered teaching him To sign? I k ow it would be a lot for you to learn too but maybe even a few words would help him feel heard?

Have him checked for autism…friends son acted same way…diagnosed at 3 as being autistic…its worth the dr visit for sure.

My son had the same issue and he was diagnosed as autistic

I could be he is spoiled and throwing tantrums for attention or he wants to communicate and can’t. Take him for a check up to see if he is doing want 2yrs old suppose to. I have a nephew who bangs his head when things don’t goes his way and he is 4yes old and whines when he is sleepy. I hope everything works out for you and your baby.

He sounds autistic. The sooner you get him help the easier it will be for him to change. Don’t wait!!!

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2 years old is way too old for a bot

Get on the floor and do the same thing he does. Don’t give in. He’s in control not you.

How much time do you spend with him? Gently talk to him?

See your doctor…he should be speaking by now…He sounds frustrated.

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Maybe have him.stay up a bit later to spend an hour with you before bed. He is needing time with you. Let.his Dr.know the issues.

Sounds like he wants your attention. It seems-per your comments- that you get to spend lil time with him. Tantrums are a way of getting attention. To stop tantrums ignore them/walk away. BUT you need to try to find time to spend with him, just and him.

Something we do with our kids is if they are screaming or pitching a fit we walk away or they don’t get what they want until they calm down.

He has you trained, he knows when he does that youll try anything to get him to stop, let him sooth himself back to sleep a few times and he will figure out it isnt working anymore, he should be sleeping in his own bed to, that’ll go a long way towards helping him

Well talk about it he understands so let him know that you love him . But this can’t go on . If he is not working with you. Then he will be on time out .

I think his acting out because he doesn’t get enough time with you.

My grandson, at 18 months, was a head banger to the point he had bruises on his forehead. We ignored him and he soon learned that it hurt and quit.

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Here is what came to me, when this just started, did someone give you something? That was not in your home before this started to happen. If so, get rid of it.

Throw your self down with him n get just a tad wilder them him…

Maybe there is something or, someone, at daycare he is afraid of. Gt him check out now.

Let him throw his fit don’t say a word just walk out on him. Come back when he is calm.

Is it possible someone at his daycare could be abusing or bullying him?

I got my nickname from head butting the floor when learning to crawl. Lol.

Has he been seen by someone who can identify autism, etc. ?

He needs therapy. He might be autistic. Also if your reacting to his tantrums he will continue to act out. Talk to his Dr.

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Might be a case for Dr. Phil?


Have him tested, call the local school district and they can direct to programs for 2 year olds.

Temper tantrums! Talk to the doctor…please don’t look for advise on internet or here. Its foolish, and may be needed to be checked

Have you tried sign language with him ?

These are very common signs of autism, I’d have him evaluated.